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#and i said that you really shouldn't say that either
cvnntagious · 3 days
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Die For Me
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☆ Fuckboy!Matt Sturniolo blurb for anon
Not that you cared, but Matt had been M.I.A for over a week now. He hadn't been in class, hadn't texted you, and you hadn't seen him in his usual hangout spots around campus. Not that you'd bothered to check.
Well, okay, you shouldn't have checked — But you did. Not because you cared. I mean, he didn't care, so why would you? You'd been looking for him because, for some reason, your professor had decided to hand over his work to you. It didn't seem like he knew where Matt had gone either.
You didn't really understand what this had to do with you. The professor had just told you to give it to Matt whenever you got the chance. What, did he think you and Matt were something? Because you're not. That's not what Matt wanted, and neither did you.
But as your grades began to slip, it was clear Matt was on your mind. For no reason, really. Like, you didn't like him or anything. Seriously, you didn't like him. Usually, with the help of Matt, you would've been able to de-stress by now. Even touching yourself was no good. His help had been keeping you steady for the semester, and without it, you were nothing academically. At least that's what you told yourself.
Today 10:22 PM : ' Hey sorry. Been a minute. '
That's what you saw pop up on your phone as you tried to focus on studying for the upcoming quiz. You knew who it was before you even read the contact at the top of the notification — that unreadable way of texting, topped with an annoying amount of periods, just like always. He said it'd been a minute, but it had only seemed like seconds since you last talked at that moment. You were already annoyed.
Texting back seemed like no use, brushing it off with a sigh that exuded not only irritation, but a hint of relief as well. At least now you knew he hadn't gotten himself into some shit. Not that getting into shit was much like him, it was more his brother's thing. But still, he tended to stick his nose where it didn't belong when it came to any problems Chris got into.
Today 10:25 PM : ' Come slide. Dorm's P17. '
You tried to ignore it, but the numbers caught your attention. Could he really want you this bad? Usually he'd come to your dorm, or on some rare occasions you'd meet him at Chris' frat. Never once had he bothered to give you his dorm number. This felt new, possibly refreshing. He'd always told you where he stayed wasn't necessary information— basically the nice way of saying he didn't take you seriously, nor trust you enough.
Though tempting, your better judgement told you not to give in so easily. As you held down the power button and slid the icon to power off before flipping your phone face down, you felt a certain sense of empowerment, proud of yourself for deciding it wasn't worth it. So why did you find yourself waiting for him to answer the door, fidgeting nervously as you looked at the short brown carpet of the dormitory hallway?
"Didn't even get a warning," You heard his voice as the door opened in front of you, causing you to look up at him.
With an embarrassed chuckle, you lifted your hand to show him the black screen of your phone. "It died," You lied, eyelashes fluttering as your eyes met his blue ones.
You watched his small smile as his tongue ran over his white teeth to hide it, invisalign making them chunky and, in some strange way, admirable. Then, he stepped aside, giving you room to walk into his doorway. "S'late, I know, but I just- like I said, its been a while," Matt began explaining as you walked into his dorm, leaning on the doorframe as his head followed you.
You turned to look at him after having taken in his dorm, rather unimpressed by the lack of personality. "Yeah, about that, actually— Where y'been?" You asked curiously, as he shut and locked the door behind him.
Matt only shrugged, suppressing a smirk as he took a step forward to let his hands travel down your waist. "Lot'a stuff," He replied simply, head cocking slightly to one side. Of course he wasn't going to tell you - he never told you anything. "S'a lot to handle, y'know," He then added, eyes darkening as they held contact with yours.
Your brows furrowed at his words, a bit confused. If he didn't want to tell you why he was gone straight up, you'd prefer if he didn't start hinting at stuff. "What is?" You breathed out, hands moving to rest on his forearms as you unknowingly caught his bait.
"Not being able to see you every day; To touch you every day." He said that as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, his head dipping to place open mouthed kisses on the sensitive skin of your neck. "To call you mine," He then whispered. You knew it were dumb to think he meant that, but for some reason, those four words made you want to give yourself to him completely.
Matt smiled for the first time since you'd walked in when you pulled back to admire his face, letting out a small hum when you leaned back into him to press your lips against his. Just like that, he walked you backwards towards his bed, hands slipping under your shirt to caress the soft skin of your stomach. The coldness of his silver rings caused you to hiss into the kiss, too distracted by the sensation to notice him turning you so that he was now with his back to his bed.
As he sat down on his bed, he pulled you down to straddle him, hands holding your waist. You looked down at his glossy blue eyes as your hands reached up to knock his hat off of his head, fingers threading through his brunette curls. "What d'you want, Matt?" You finally asked, one hand coming down to allow your finger to caress the underside of his chin as he looked up at you.
His hands traveled up your figure, lifting your shirt as he did so. He allowed his hands to rest on your boobs, kneeding them as he chuckled ever so quietly. "To not have to do the work this time," He answered in a teasing tone, eyes flickering down to look at where his hands worked.
Though reluctant, you lifted yourself off of his lap to hoover over it. Using one hand to stabilize yourself on his shoulder, your free hand made its way down to his belt buckle as he watched your every move intently, "Don't look so happy," You mused when your eyes had glanced up to see the excitement in his.
"You know I love this shit," He quipped as you pulled his belt through the loops, lifting himself just enough for you to pull his pants down to his thighs. You only had so long to admire all you could see through his boxers before you felt Matt tugging on your pants, pleading without words for you to take them off.
Again, you lifted yourself off of him, this time allowing him to unbutton your pants and shimmy them down your legs until they were discarded somewhere beside his bed. As he fiddled with your pants, your hand began palming him through his boxers, length already riled up from not being touched much longer than he was used to. He groaned as his eyes remained locked on yours, a wet patch turning a spot of his boxers a darker shade of gray.
After a bit of teasing, you decided it was time to finally get your eyes on the prize—his prize. Pulling it out of his boxers, you ran your hand along his shaft to feel it rock hard already. "So big," You muttered, eyes glued to it.
Matt couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips at your words, expression smug as it could be. "This's new news?" He asked playfully, a stark contrast to his usual cold behaviors. It was like he really came out of his shell when he was aroused, and you were ready to put him right back in it.
With a squeeze of his dick that caused him to grunt, you pulled your panties to the side and lined him up with your entrance. Matt looked enthralled as he watched you do your work like this were routine, hands leaving your hips to rest behind him, leaning back to tilt his head back when you sunk down onto him without warning.
His hair was messy, and he could feel he was ready to sweat with your gummy walls around him. Lips pursing together, he hummed as you began to slowly grind into him, letting you do the work, just like he said he wanted.
It wasn't long before you began bouncing on him, hands on his shoulders for stability as you let out choked moans, as if his cock were suffocating you. The quick pace had your thighs burning, struggling to keep up with it, and yet, Matt simply watched in enjoyment. It wasn't often he allowed himself to freely make noise, but you could tell he was really enjoying this, with the way he had let out more groans and pants than usual.
Seemingly out of nowhere, his hands dartted out to grip the flesh of your hips as you continued your motions. You could've swore you heard a whimper when his head dropped forward to lean on the front of your shoulder. "Fu–ck this," He drawled out to you, hips begining to meet yours as he chase his high.
This simple, not so innocent gesture only served to fuel you, completely forgetting about the burning sensation. Your bounces got bigger, lifting yourself all the way to his tip before dropping back onto him with shreik-like moans. Matt was loving this, pants and groans now following each motion on his painfully ready cock.
"K- keep goin' f'me, baby, m'gettin close," He rasped, forcing himself to lift his head from your shoulder so he could look in your eyes while he came.
You nodded, bouncing mixing with grinding as you tried to tell him you were close too. It was too late. You let out a loud moan as you snapped on top of him, Matt following suit at the feeling of your sticky liquid releasing all over his dick. Your movements slowed to ride out your guys' orgasms before eventually coming to a halt, both of you panting with each other.
"Le's, uh— We'll do that more often, yeah?"
"Come on over, baby, can you slide for me? Yeah / You know how I love it when you ride on me." -Chase Atlantic
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w/c : 1.8k a/n : if you've sent in any anons, i promise i'm getting to them. it's taking me a while cs i take forever to write and now i'm super busy so please bare w me, these anons have been building up for months now...
-love, your grandma cvnty ☆!
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katyspersonal · 2 days
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Someone really said we shouldn't take Messmer's last words ( when he cursed Marika) seriously because he was demonically possessed by the abyssal serpent ijbol
I do not think that it was the case either! My impression from his phase transition was more of him finally giving into his serpentine nature, and thus, finally allowing himself to feel his true feelings!
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"Hatred that would be confined" here can mean both him hating himself (since fire is a hazard to the Erdtree, evidenced by Fire of Ruin and Destined Death, so why not his?) OR hating her for having forsaken him! Except... they are not mutually exclusive. He could have hated himself for existing as something that could inevitably bring ruin to everything she created and hated her for abandoning him!
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Like other characters in the DLC, he is aware that we've been called by Grace of Gold, her creation, to become her new Lord! Nonetheless, he decides to still disrespect what counts as her wishes, which already gives something away, at least for me. It could be that him taking Crusade beyond just vengeance, to fascism level, WAS what split them apart, and he is still convinced he knew what was better for purity and life of her Order better than her (LOOOOVE this version because it makes him even scarier). It could be jealousy, because some nobody Tarnished would get the chance to fix things for her when he tried to do the same and yet she was not "grateful". It could be that this "purpose" he took up for her feels like the only thing still connecting them, since she is not coming back. It could be many things that I can keep listing!
Yet, at the same time, he asks her forgiveness before removing the seal! So, killing someone he (correctly) believes she is awaiting is a lesser crime than removing the seal she gave to him to keep Base Serpent away? I think it is very telling that the root of how much he hates his flame is her hatred of it.
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( x ) Perhaps, by being deadset on killing everyone spurn of her grace, he sort of overcompensates for how much he hates himself for being graceless (in a way, 'shorn of light' is very blatant)... He can't fix his nature, nor can she, but he could remove her OTHER pains and grudges. He is compensating!.. like, for how much he wishes to never having been born, or something...
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Damn this got weirdly sad And a simpler interpretation is that it was just a cry of pain, because he was dying and she was not there for him. Or maybe it was the horror of feeling like he was to fall into Abyss, since he removed the seal? Not that I ever died in my life yet, but I'd imagine that thoughts and emotions upon violent death would not be very rational!
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I really want some help with Japanese description of this item, because this "but never again" feels like some sort of grudge. Like that she realised it was useless; not so much because what afflicted him was untreatable, but because she deemed him not worthy of any more chances! You see what I mean! Again, English choices of words should be taken with a grain of salt.
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Messmer also was not "possessed" by Base Serpent, he became Base Serpent! Saying you will be taken in jaws by a serpent shorn of light, he means himself! He has a habit of addressing himself in third face already, saying that you will meet death in the embrace of "Messmer's" flame, not "his" flame! There is definitely some parallel with Malenia unleashing Scarlet Rot again just to not lose to us, but whereas Scarlet Rot is confirmed to eat away at people's personality and memories (Millicent's questline), nothing said it was the case for the Base Serpent!
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(Images by Zlofsky as usual) All statues of Marika in the Lands Between are missing heads... except for one, depicting her as a mother holding a child, hidden in his chamber by a veil. I need to check it later, but in at least three cases it makes no sense to be this way: one in the Church of the Crusade where Queelign hangs out, another surrounded by his soldiers, and another in Shadow's Keep itself! UNLESS, he is the one responsible for crashing the images of her head...?
It feels like he has been very conflicted long before this dreadful moment of unleashing his serpentinge nature! He did not want to think of her because it hurt, but also still wished to be held by her again. Considering the statues, it feels like he hated her as a Goddess, but loved her as a mother. So, he hates her divine existence, her as an owner of the Erdtree, a "destined victim" of all fires, but also knows it can't be separated from her and follows her design. Perhaps, follows TOO much.
Basically it IS a reasonable assumption that upon his death, he's been feeling as though he did everything he could for her, but that was not enough for her to see beyond her fear! Worse yet: she did try to love him, but "never again"! Hatred of abandoned child is a very intense thing, but it is also not a true hatred. It is more akin to cry for being accepted, but distorted into insults, curses, pushing away and such!
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^^^ If this doesn't look like Humanity running wild manifestation of someone's own repressed self-hatred, loneliness and suffering getting unleashed I don't know what does fdhfdhs I don't know, man... I just think there is more evidence for the fact that he's been suffering because of her.
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fuck-customers · 3 days
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Desert County Lob Jot person again. I just really have two customers that I had to get off my chest. First the Mattress Karen and then let me tell you about Moldy Spoon Lady.
This lady comes in constantly and tries to return things that she found laying around her house that she doesn't want anymore. Doesn't matter if it a) came from us b) was purchased in the last 30 days or even this year c) is damaged beyond saleability or d) is apparently covered in a thick, stinky layer of mold.
She walks up to the service desk and I've already had an issue with her where she told me not to ring up a box of cookies because she "forgot it yesterday so I already paid for it" and of course she had no receipt that time either. So got upset when I said unless I have proof of this like having management watch the security cameras, I have to charge her for it or she has to leave without it. Shocker: she didn't want the manager doing that.
So this time she has a reusable bag, and so I call out asking if she has a return. She says yes and ohmyGOD when she took her hand off the top rim of the bag and it starting opening...I almost had to run to the bathroom from the smell. It was beYOND foul. Inside the bag was a completely molded wooden cooking spoon. She thought all she had to say was "for some reason this spoon I got from you for $6.99 (I'm sorry...seven dollars for a spoon? In THIS place? Not possible) is completely covered in mold. I can't use it. I need to return it for $6.99". I immediately say we can't do that. I told her we can't take items that are not in resellable condition and she doesn't have the receipt or item tags, so I can't even look it up through her member card. I even tried and showed her my screen to demonstrate. I also informed her that wooden spoons shouldn't be left soaking in water in the sink because this is what happens. I didn't realize that wasn't common knowledge but I've been running into more and more people that didn't know wooden spoons are porous and absorb water still. So I just thought it was harmless advice in case she didn't know, but of course she was insulted.
"You know, I always have problems with you and I've NEVER had problems with anyone here" (she had problems with everyone here)
I tried to just say sorry but I can't take a spoon without proof it's even ours.
"You know, you're bad at your job. EVERYONE says your bad at your job."
Idk what possessed me but I gave a short laugh and said "no they didnt"
"Yes they did!!!" God, what are you, a toddler?
I knew she'd take it more seriously from a manager, so I call an assistant manager over the intercom.
"What if I find the spoon and come up with the bar code?"
I shrug and say "sure go do that". She walks off and when the assistant manager gets up to the desk I tell her the situation and she laughs when she hears who the customer is. She is a regular and a massive pain in the ass. Certifiable. She's been a problem here for a long time apparently and everyone dreads when they see her come in the door.
Moldy walks back up and not only does she have a sort of similar wooden spoon in one hand, she has a 10 pack of wooden spoons in the other. The single is $1.99, the pack was $5.99.
"I can take this $5.99 pack as an exchange for it and then you just give me the dollar back." She was ALREADY putting the pack in her fucking bag. I grabbed it before it could touch the moldy one still in the bag and said nope, she can't have those because we have no proof the original spoon cost $6.99. We definitely wouldn't price it that high.
I and the assistant manager both had the thought to say just take the $1.99 spoon this time but that if she doesn't have a receipt and it's damaged, we can't do anything next time.
Why does this particular chain have the most braindead, absolute lunatics for customers? I've been in retail for 15 years and have never seen people pull the things I've seen here. It's incredible what customers try to get away with here. And it's a BARGAIN OUTLET. We are literally cheaper than anything else around and people still try to get cheaper?
And if they can't get it cheap, they steal it. Whatever. The only theft that bothers me is when people open up food and eat a couple things out of it and put it back on the shelf. Because then that means I have to throw that food out. The amount of food items I constantly have to throw away because people opened them up or take a few bits out of it makes me so angry. Seen as how I've been overdrafting the past couple months I get that everyone is beyond poor now, but jfc do you have to make another poor person deal with your shit? I can't wait to be out of here. Besides the customers having soup for brains here, the past couple days have shown me the underbelly of the management side of things and I don't like it. Definitely won't be coming back.
Posted by admin Rodney
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dronebiscuitbat · 2 hours
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Give me a Reason: Chapter 19 - "Best Freind"
N: U sure ur okay?
Uzi sighed as she crashed into her mattress, body feeling sore and head full of cotton balls. Tessa had just pulled out of the driveway and N was already texting her.
She wasn't sure when they'd actually become friends, maybe somewhere between ghost hunting and getting kicked in the gut she'd somehow made that connection. But she was absolutely not used to someone being this worried.
He'd incessantly asked what had happened for her to get so injured. And she'd incessantly deflected, either saying that it was nothing serious- which was bullshit, it hurt like hell. Or, at the cost of her ego- she lied and said it was an accident.
She just wasn't sure how he'd react to the truth, he'd probably be even more worried then, knowing that someone did this to her on purpose.
Or… he'd laugh at her. Because she was weak, because she'd put herself in a vulnerable position and then couldn't take a little pain an-
N: You can talk to me.
N: No pressure.
N: Just worried about you :(
The new messages stopped that train of thought. No. He wouldn't laugh. Even her chronic cynicism couldn't convince her of that.
Finally, instead of staring at his messages, she responded.
Uzi: Promise you won't say anything? Or laugh.
N: Promise
She sighed, here goes nothing…
Uzi: I got kicked in the stomach, u know how I seemed upset that I knew someone in my math class? It was them.
The reply actually took a minute to come back.
And that was because N had all of air knocked out of him at that reply. She'd been hit? Purposefully? And hard enough to give her a serious injury? Why? She was so nice! And cool!
N: Who?
Uzi: Lizzy, she's a teachers aid now, but she was in my class last year.
Uzi: It's not the first time she's thrown a punch, just caught me off gaurd this time.
Once again, N was floored, a teachers aid!?
N: I'd never laugh at you. But you should report her, she shouldn't be working with students if she thinks that's okay.
Uzi huffed through her nose, a half-laugh that was drenched in a depressing kind of acceptance.
Uzi: It's not like they'd believe me. I'm not exactly a model student.
She sat her phone down and shucked off her jacket and beanie, hissing as her side throbbed dully. This had been such a day…
Her hand instinctually reached for her stash drawer before she even realized, and in another, she was looking at it's false bottom.
As tempting as it was- and it was very tempting. Drug mixing wasn't smart even if one of them was just an over-the-counter pain reliever, and adding a bad trip on an already shitty day didn't sound fun.
So instead she wrapped herself in the biggest, comfiest shirt she could find and grabbed her laptop, maybe she could distract herself with YouTube.
N: What do you mean by that?
Oh right, she'd never mentioned the fact she'd been held back to him, whoops.
Uzi: I was held back a year. I'm 19.
N: Oh wow! You're older then me!
N: Still it can't have been that bad. Failing a class isn't a reason to not belive you.
Uzi smirked, fingers clicking on the keys of her laptop as she tried to find something to watch- settling on an analysis video of one of the shows she was watching.
Uzi: I was high in class and a teacher called the campus police.
It took nearly twenty minutes for him to respond to that.
N:Sorry, got home and had to get up to my room.
N:You were WHAT?!
N: That's a crime!
Uzi: And so is trespassing on JCJenson private property to ghost hunt.
N blushed, now laying on his bed in a grey pajama shirt and pants with dogs printed on them, he held his phone close to his face as he grumbled, she had him there, but that hadn't really felt like a crime at the time…
N: I think you're a bad influence.
N: Also you're deflecting, drugs are bad! And unhealthy!
Uzi rolled her eyes at that, he wasn't the first person to tell her that. But you know what was worse? Dealing with herself unmedicated, without her stash, her head just got fuzzier and fuzzier, and before she knew it… she'd be having a full mental meltdown at the slightest provocation. Which she hated, she never felt like herself during those…
Uzi: Probably. But you see why they won't believe me over miss perfect.
N: Yeah okay, now I'm gonna be worried tho. I don't want you being hurt.
She smiled at that, this boy was so endlessly empathetic, and thankfully, her unloading some not-so-great facts about herself didn't seem to put him off either.
Uzi: Ew, don't worry over me. That's gay.
And yet she couldn't help but make a joke over it.
N: ???
N: how?
N: how does my worry make me gay?
Uzi: It's not manly.
Uzi: Empathy is a girly emotion.
She was snickering to herself, she didn't actually believe that of course, but she could almost see his reaction to it. That stupid, confused and amused smile that he wore when she made a particularly dumb joke.
N: Guess I'm gay then.
N: Cause I'm always going to worry. You're my freind.
N:Best Freind?
Her heart fluttered full of butterflies at that. Is that what he wanted? From her? She was so convinced he'd find someone else to hang out with but here he was, asking to continue this…
Whatever this was.
Uzi: Always knew I'd end up with a gay best freind.
Uzi: u can't borrow my makeup.
N: Awww, but it would look so good on me!
Uzi thought about that for a moment, imagining N with dark eyeshadow, lipstick, and black nails, and she about choked, she wasn't sure if it was funny or weirdly attractive.
Uzi: Dude that mental image.
Uzi: It's so cursed, I about choked.
N: Blursed
N: It's Blessed and Cursed
The conversation continued, the fuzz in her head slowly dissipating even without the assistance of her stash, and it continued late into the night… up until she heard Khan pull onto the driveway at 2am.
Uzi: Oh god, it's 2am. We need to sleep.
N: I didn't realize! We're gonna be zombies…
Uzi: More of a zombie u mean?
N: Yeh. U still in pain? Are u going to sleep ohay?
N: Okay* oof, sleepy fingers.
Even while about to pass out. He was still worried…
Uzi: I'm okay, pain isn't bad. U need sleep N
N: Ok, text you tmmrow, Uzi. Goodnight.
Uzi: Night N.
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mxtxfanatic · 2 days
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@reinedeslys-central While I am enjoying our convo on that other post, I figured it would better to move it off of op's post since they haven't engaged with it. So in response to your last reblog, I don't think we're really disagreeing with each other for the most part, but I do have a question for you about when you said this:
It's weird for me to think he actually feels no remorse over his actions with the wen remnants though, because, hey, killing innocent people, so I guess that's why I'm more inclined to that interpretation of mixed feelings?
Why do you feel this way? Why is it "weird" that Jiang Cheng feel no remorse about this in canon? He certainly doesn't show remorse about it at any point in the text. He certainly never thinks about the wrongs he committed against the Wen remnants in the text as "wrongs." Jiang Cheng has a reputation for attacking, torturing, and killing a lot of people off the strength of his hatred for Wei Wuxian and the QishanWen along with him just being an overall bully (like at the Dafan Mountain hunt where he attacks smaller cultivators to force them to leave the competitive nighthunt). For me, to say that it would be strange for Jiang Cheng not to feel remorse is like saying it would be "strange" if Xue Yang didn't feel bad for all those villages he tricked Xiao Xingchen into massacring. Xue Yang didn't see those villagers as people deserving of life. Jiang Cheng didn't see the Wen remnants as people deserving of life, either.
Jiang Cheng brought Jiang Yanli to see Wei Wuxian because Jiang Yanli asked for it. Just like Wei Wuxian was invited to Jin Ling's 100-day celebration because Jiang Yanli asked for it, not because Jin Zixuan wanted to be nice all of a sudden. Jiang Cheng shouldn't get the credit for the idea just because he fulfilled it. On that note, the defection duel was agreed upon by Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng because Wei Wuxian refused to return the Wen remnants to the labor camp, and Jiang Cheng kept saying that it would affect the Jiang's reputation that he would do such a public thing while still a part of their clan. In this story, reputation doesn't mean shit if you have the power to put your money where your mouth is. But Jiang Cheng's character is that he is always seeking approval from figures he considers more esteemed than himself. So he could have stood up against the Jin and been fine, just like the Jin stood up for Xue Yang and were fine. His refusal to do so was pure vanity, not strategy.
As for how the Jiang were left off after the war: Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian didn't have to rebuild because Lotus Pier was never destroyed. Wen Chao and co. were living in it because it was the supervisory office. The only thing damaged in the place were the lotus symbols that the QishanWen had intentionally defaced. Whatever wealth the Jiang had was either kept in Lotus Pier, meaning it was reclaimed immediately with the reclamation of Lotus Pier, or it was transferred to Qishan, which means it was reclaimed after the war ended. On top of all that, all of the land and wealth of the QishanWen were split amongst the victorious clans of the Sunshot Campaign, likely with the biggest clans who contributed the most receiving the largest cut. Since Wei Wuxian was a one-man army key to the Sunshot Campaign's victory, that means the Jiang would get a good portion of this bounty, which means they would be richer than when the war started. And Jiang Cheng had recruited disciples during the war, while Wei Wuxian drew in cultivators during and after with his new cultivation. There's not a single piece of textual evidence that suggests the Jiang were struggling after the war, not material-wise and not reputation-wise. It was only Jiang Cheng who wanted to attach himself to the Jin Clan by any means necessary because the Jin were very overtly trying to fill the power vacuum that the QishanWen left behind in their downfall, and Jiang Cheng wanted on the boat.
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that-girl-cupid · 2 days
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guys please
i really didn't wanna have to do this but, every single message supporting jack (which is fine I have no problem seeing his side) the problem is, they all mention hate, how we hate jack, or hate being given. Now I don't know the extent of what's being said. But every single post I've personally read, there isn't a single time where it says we hate him. Personally, jack was one of my very first friends and I've tried to stand by him during this. But I've read how others feel, I've reread the posts concerning the account with Circe. And while whole heartedly I want to stick by him, I can't. I understand that this is hard, he's told me some about his personal life and I feel for him I really really do. And I've been so worried about him during this. But at the same time, ive seen how it affects others and how it makes them feel, and how his words can come across, whether he intended them that way or not. I'm writing this because while I wasn't personally affected by this issue several of the people I care about were, and I still do care for jack. And it I want people to understand that reading jacks post about his boyfriend while it may be true he has one, the way the post was worded and I see how people took it the wrong way. I'm not standing up for him exactly but I'm trying to say while I don't agree with the way him and his boyfriend worded these things and definitely don't agree with how the circe situation was handled, I don't hate him and you shouldn't either really, he didn't handle it correctly but there is absolutely no reason to send hate
@if-chaos-was-a-boy
@stephen-the-spider
@itsyourboyezra
@braydons-world
@everett-child-of-ares
@hispanic-child-of-hermes
@nikes-best-son
@love-lightning-forethought
@daonedaonlyskh
@hispanic-child-of-hermes
@this-is-homophobic
@pink-koi-lovejoy
(please add anyone who you think needs to read this, sorry if it doesn't make much sense I'm tired)
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alright i have a mild dilemna that i need advice on
on my course we have to post these weekly self-reflection things responding to the themes of the week's class and some questions about it. i posted last week's and yesterday the course convenor replied to it in a way that implies i was wrong (in my SELF reflection) and just generally misunderstands my point/takes it in bad faith. i've shown these posts to others on the course and they agree that my original post adressed the things her reply asks about and that she has misinterpreted me, in quite a "cheeky" way
my issue now is: do i reply and try to explain myself better? or is it better to just let it go?
i don't want to dig myself in deeper if she's really opposed to my viewpoint, but at the same time i do feel like i answered the questions thoroughly in the first place and the things she's accusing me of aren't fair
#to be clear we were working on issues of identity this week#and we visited a specific gallery in the national museum of scotland and in our reflection we had to talk about how it reflected identity#and i talked about how all of my scottish friends loved it and it was really effective in provoking nostalgia in them#but that as a non-scottish person i wasn't able to access a lot of the exhibits because they assumed prior knowledge#and i said (or at least i thought i made clear) that i think it's good to have a gallery focusing on scottish identity#but that for a museum which aims to ''show scotland to the world'' this gallery doesn't do a very good job#and i finished by saying that i understand issues of identity are difficult and i don't have an answer for how they should be negotiated#these were just MY observations and feelings (which. again. is what i thought the SELF reflection was for)#and one of the other non-scottish students (a chinese girl) replied and said that she agreed#and that she even tried going on a guided tour of the gallery but she still couldn't really learn anything from it#and the course convenor (who btw is not scottish either so. take from that what u will) replies saying that#the gallery actually isn't MEANT for international visitors it's only meant for scottish people#and ''why can't scottish people have somewhere to express their identity in THEIR national museum?''#which. first of all were all points i made in my post#and second of all - if that gallery isn't meant for international visitors to be able to understand then WHY DID YOU ASK US TO GO THERE#WHAT DID YOU EXPECT US TO SAY??? bear in mind i'd say at least 60% of people on the course aren't scottish#anyway yeah. i wasn't trying to say that scottish people shouldn't be able to express their identity#and i thought i made that clear in the post but obviously not?#but the people i asked about it are all scottish and they all said they thought what i said was fine#and in fact they agreed with a lot of my points!!#ugh i just don't know what to do#bc my instinct is to defend myself and that if i just re-explain then she'll get what i'm saying#but maybe that's not sensible? especially bc i was pretty clear the first time#🧃
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unityrain24 · 1 month
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you don't have to read this i just have so much pent-up in my head.
(if you do tho the tags are just as important as the post.)
i wish i could make people unfollow me without blocking them? bc like. every single palestine ask i get (whether spam or real) they follow me. even though it's not set up so only followers can send asks. i think they do it because like, then they think i will be more willing to help? bc follower counts are so important on other platforms and to most people, it's probably like an exchange? They do the nicety of adding to my follower count and so i will be more willing to donate money to their cause? but like. i don't want followers just for followers. it makes me uncomfortable. i've got a little over 150 followers right now but probably a third are palestine fundraiser blogs (and a few bots i can't tell are bots or not and promotional spam). it makes me uncomfortable? it makes me feel like the numbers a lie? i want the people following me to be there because they actually care about my blog/me?
obviously i don't want to block these people! they are in a genocide trying to do whatever they can to survive! they are on here trying to ask anyone and everyone so that out of the hundred of people they ask maybe one or two can donate a few dollars! they are trying every tactic they can to make people listen to them! following! posting photos! using eye-catching colours and fonts! writing out their stories! all things that are emotionally and or/physicaly exhausting and draining all in an attempt to just get someone to listen! and honestly it's sort of unfair that they have to follow random people and clog up their dash with random stuff just so people are more willing to help (obviously most of these people didn't have tumblr before and aren't here for the dash, but i imagine a dash full of palestine help would be less overwhelming than a huge mass of random fandoms while you go find people to ask).
#i also get. so. many. palestine asks. and i do think a good chunk are spam but a good chunk are real too and i can't tell the difference#but it really stresses me out how i get so many bc like. i do not have the money to help you people.#and i have said that on every ask ive answered#and the majority of my following doesn't really have the money either. and plenty of them aare struggling for money and asking for help#& now im mounted with tens & tens & tens of asks in my ask box of people i cant help my following cant help & i don't know are real or not#but i have this duty to share them anyways bc even if i can't donate just sharing helps#but again i don't even know which are real#and it's overwhelming and stressful#but then how pathetic/inappropriate is it to feel that way compared to what they are going through?#they are in a genocide and i'm “uncomfortable” at the amount of asks pleading for help in my ask box???#that's fucked up!!!#and why am i even saying i don't have the money to help? i don't have a job and have never had one but i've saved up a bit for a few years#for a special occasion like my birthday or a legal name change or something#who cares if i get that? they can't either! and they are a lot worse of without it than i am without it!#and i have money from a car accident a few years ago from when i was in a car accident that will be all the money to my name once i cut my#parents off. it's all i'll have to try getting housing and maybe film school and such before i can get a job#but why not give them all of that too! who cares if i give away all my money and i live in a cardboard box in the side of the road!#a cardboard box on the side of the road would still be better living conditions than what they are going through!#and if i can make their life better without making my life worse than theirs don't a have a moral obligation to?#so why don't i do that!#what is wrong with me!#unityrain.txt#moral ocd#obsessive compulsive disorder#ocd#actually ocd#maube i shouldn't tag this as palestine#palestine.#<-with a period.#so that way it doesn't show up in people following the normal tag
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jamieedlund · 2 years
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So…thoughts on the clip of Season 4 Episode 2? I’ve got mixed feelings.
Lots of thoughts but... I would hold all of them back until i've seen all of ss4 and not just "clips" because these are just pieces taken out of a bigger picture (that I really hope exists) so it's impossible for me personally to make sense of it all without getting angry lmfao. I would say I'll give the story the benefit of the doubt because what was being told to us about Aaravos was by and from a woman who hated his guts probably; and let's not forget that she was the one who sent assassins to murder ezran's dad so...I'd say that it's still a very bias view point of Aaravos and his actions. Not to mention some of the things she said requires oh idk...PROOF. And some requires...extra context to even make sense of??? All and all I have one thing to say. We don't know, if the people he supposedly manipulated and or allegedly "disposed of" really are good people...
So I still firmly believe that he is, at heart, a very good person. He might be a little twisted a lot, but at the end of the day if his deal is literally just emphasize or make a person's desire come true... what happens when he's placed with someone who does not have any grand desire for the world, domination or some idiotic save the world type thing, rather they just wanted him to stop hurting, either it's himself or others and to be happy.
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what then?
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yume-fanfare · 2 years
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decided to check the # for the newest hanako chapter on twitter none of you get itttt
#but it's really funny to see so!#cannibalism has been a running theme in the manga guys cmon#person w rhythm game guy pfp like 'i don't know why they thought this would be a good idea' brother this is a horror manga?#its also not the first time something like this happened c'mon#'aidairo wouldn't' have you read the hell of mirrors arc#'they shouldve clarified that this love could not happen or just make it really clear that it wasnt romantic' 😭😭😭#i don't 'ship' them either lol but if you wanted nice unproblematic stuff you should've dropped this manga on like chapter 3#like everyone else did#people calling it irredeemable media is already funny on its own but the way the fanbase is also Like This is so wild to me#every time i see some kid on the tag being like omg amane is so handsome 😍 im like i don't know you but you probably can do better#'remember when this was a manga about a girl trying to get her crush to like her back' IM IN TEARSSSS#that was....... literally only in chapter 1...........#in which she realizes she doesn't really like said crush...............#like i'd say it gets Serious as early as chapter 9???#(funnily enough id say that's where kou's conflict truly starts. a protagonist)#there is a homophobic hate crime in chapter 19??? it shouldn't take you too long to realize this is not a comedy help me#but like yeah help there Is a reason why all the cutesy romance moments that people redraw for aus n stuff happen during chapters 1 to 8#because the rest is Plot Relevant#ok ending my rant here ♥#if u read til here ily#i used to think hanako fans should take a reading comprehension test beforehand but at this point ive accepted its a lost cause#jbksh#mar's midnight rambles
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blueshykitsune-blog · 2 months
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Oh right! I forgot to say I've made that fanblog!
(Read all of this before visiting or at least the rules of this new blog!)
However I will have to add a lot of additional details before I officially put it on the roster for blogs.
However I'm not gonna wait this time so I'm gonna just say what I wanna instead of stopping myself like normal.
This fanblog is to a dear person who well I'm a fan of. I made sure to get permission for may of things, however I never had an official like name per say for me when I was on anon. I will have one more thing to ask the person but I will say they feel very dear to me and I'll feel extremely bad if I end yp being a cause for bad people going to them or people who shouldn't be at their blog there so please understand there will be more strict rules over there. Even if it's mostly only a couple, I am gonna be strict on them and well I know that if you try blocking that blog you will have a likely chance of blocking this one too so please be wary and you can just block tags too and even make them filtered so you see less of that stuff, kind of like how I run my writing blog.
So this fan blog is called @heartfullofleeches-fanblogperson it may take a bit before it fully registers because Tumblr is having issues so I may have to redo the @ tomorrow and see if I messed it up or something... might've accidentally pressed a button that I didn't mean to so yeah.
Anyway the rules, hard rules is: Don't visit it if you're under 18, it will showcase stuff not suitable for those people and I may not add tags as the original blog (the one not belonging to me) is more of an 18+ blog so please understand that and respect it, I will say that this may allow people under 18 see it but I'm hoping people will be wary and cautious...
This leads me to the next rule, do not at all send any negativity to heartfullofleeches as I promise you it'll hurt me deeply and I may get worse (I have some mental problems going on and it will definitely get activated worse if I find out someone did hurt them because I accidentally lead them there, even if it's not true.). So if you must use anger against someone do I have the blog for you to visit! (Please go to @goldshykitsune as that blog is literally where I will fight people on things even random stuff and I allow anyone to send asks there and yeah I mean just read the ask button and you can tell I made it for stuff like that and personal matters too.)
Okay the next rule I got is do not at all misgender anyone over on that blog. You do not understand how angry that would make me and I might just rant about you on my blog previously mentioned in the last rule. Do not misgender heartfullofleeches, their OCs, my OCs, or me (Can you really even misgender me exactly??? I dunno.) Just don't. Not cool and literally makes you seem like your at the bottom of a pyramid of actual people who are fulfilling what they need to for being happy in life and yeah. You wanna be happy I promise.
I will add more rules. I will add rules there too on the pinned post over there and maybe few over here on the lists of blogs.
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pureconancommentary · 2 months
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"We can't do anything"? How about invite her inside your house, Agasa? She's been waiting in the snow for three hours, just standing there doing nothing else, and you just watched and thought 'oh man, that's sad. ...Anyways, shame on you Shinichi'.
I mean, there are other concerns, such as 'how did she arrive to wait for three hours and Conan seems to have only arrived'. If I were to assume, he had to talk with Megure for a little while as Shinichi for case reasons, and then slip away and return to the agency, only to find that Ran wasn't there. Though it also brings up how it'd take three whole hours, and also why Ran decided to wait in front of Shinichi's house in the cold when she'd previously just waltzed inside when she thought he might have gone home. Even now, right when the lights turn on, she just pushes the gate and front door open, so there's no reason we see for why she'd stand there for three hours. She's not even wearing pants, she's in a skirt with long socks, there is no reason to have her do that.
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maddy-ferguson · 2 months
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my politiscales😭 98% internationalism 0% nationalism idgaf about borders and nation states i'm a true citizen of the world
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featherymainffins · 4 months
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I thought I would walk some additional 14 km today and thus burn my accidental lunch (caved into peer pressure and went to a restaurant and had a salad instead of eating my perfectly counted can of tuna) and as such I agreed to go have breakfast with some friends tomorrow to celebrate the end of the excursion.
But I did not walk those 14 km because I wasn't able to get water + I just finished 12 hours of lectures + my arches were killing me + it was raining + I wanted to shower + I wanted to study + I was fucking freezing.
Which means I have to punish myself for my lack of discipline and I also have to make up for the food and that means I CANNOT have that breakfast. In fact I cannot have anything. For 2 days. Just to be sure.
So now I'm trying to figure out what lie I can make up. Currently thinking about saying that I just started to feel really nauseous all of a sudden and as such I unfortunately cannot eat breakfast oopsie. It feels really random and not really believable though.
#god this is so tiring. i wish i wasn't me so i could just live. people don't have to be ideal to earn being tolerated but i do#people don't even have an ideal and there should never be one. but there is one for me and the court of the world expects me to#always fit it. it's a competition and the jury is judging me. I'm constantly trying to win the case. to make the judge rule me innocent#of what I don't know. of everything i suppose.#but it's just exhausting. and I'm not sure if it's more exhausting to just give up and follow whatever the nagging voice says or#if it's more exhausting to fight it. i feel horrible and full of guilt and shame and terror either way so does it really matter?#if i die because my heart gives out or if i die by my own hand?#apparently bulimics have a much higher self-harm percentage but i personally have a tendency to harm my body after i eat#i don't want to do it but i recognise that that's partly exactly why i want to. my emotional torment is probably much more#of a goal than the physical pain. there's a part of me that wants to lead psychological warfare against me#and you know what it's like. it's fine. i accepted that i would die by my own hand a long time ago. I've always said that#i don't know when and that it might be in two decades or a year or a month or a day; but that one day i would go past the breaking#point and kill myself.#i think it's an inevitability of my life and I'm fine with that. someone has to kill themselves. someone has to be that number#in the statistics. there is no reason for it not to be me and if not me it'd be someone else#so it's fine#but yeah it's like...well it's been a run...not sure if a good one...but it's been a run and considering how much i just don't care anymore#i think this time it's really it. and i have a lot of responsibilities so I'm really pissed about it#but listen I'm just exhausted. my every waking thought is plagued by counting and avoiding reflective surfaces and wanting#nothing more than to stare into reflective surfaces for 20 minutes straight and check for every imperfection and irregularity#and check if everything is the same as the day before. i don't know if i should trust my eyes or my emotions or my logic#i don't know which is which. half of my brain power is devoted to making up plausible lies. 'i had a stomach bug earlier'#'im just really nauseous. yea accidentally had lactose earlier.' 'my stomach hurts so i shouldn't eat anything' 'i ate before i came here'#'oh i said i didn't have anything with me? i uhhh i went shopping yesterday evening actually'#i can't focus at all. I'm either too tired or the voice is too loud and too aggressive. i have no idea how I'm going to pass my classes
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sir-snow · 6 months
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I don't believe in therapy.
Let's just read Neitzsche and do kinky stuff together.
That'll be healthy, right?
#my thoughts on therapy are much more complex than that#I just know that 90% of people in every occupation just plain shouldn't be there#And I really don't feel like window shopping through a bunch of peusdo intellectuals#When all I'm trying to do is better comprehend my reality and my role in it#And the major-majority of therapists#That I've had personal or professional interactions with#Either just plain don't care#Are giving you that look like#“Oh god is this going to be the person that beats me to death with my own clip-board”#Or are just waiting for you to say something incriminating so they can involve the police#There was one older lady in particular I talked too#Not even realizing she was a therapist until she started asking me a bunch of personal questions#And the subject of careers got brought up#And this gal was genuinely shell-shocked when I gave minor details about one of my verbally abusive father figures#It was as if she'd only heard about cases like that in books or on TV#And my reaction to her newfound curiosity was sort of blasé#Like yeah#Have you literally never interacted with a lower to middle class drunk or any of their kids before?#Granted I only said 90% earlier#Because there's one dude in particular I wouldn't mind buying a beer for#Now that I think about it#There's also a nurse I wish I could apologize too#Even if she was being holier than thou with her Bible pushing#But some people don't seem to realise that bastards are naturally predispositioned to being atheists#I just can't seem to fathom why a boy who grew up without his biological father#Doesn't like to hear about a guy who's father created him just so he can die for the sins of others#And that it would make much more sense for her to put her efforts into preventing some other kid's life from being more fucked up#Than it already is#Rather than trying to unravel the issues of a young man whom they just met with a pre-printed out sheet of paper#Wow I really didn't intend to write this much
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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 8 months
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......
#i just want that rush back. how it felt when i realized he wasn't gonna hurt me n he held me to his chest n stroked my back#just tryin to calm me down instead of demanding anythin#he called me pretty. maybe it's just cause he was fucking me but still. he hasn't said that in so damn long except when he hurts me#i......guess i can kinda see why i said i loved him. i was so high on all of it.#even though it was stupid as fuck n idk if it's even true but either way i shouldn't have said it.#i wanna point fingers n say he just lovebombed me so hard i wasn't thinkin straight but. i don't think he even did#i can usually spot it when he does cause he's sayin things that are so obviously fake. even if i usually just ignore that cause i like it#this was just. the kinda affection that'd be normal from someone who actually cares for you. which is why it's so treacherous.#cause now it's all i can fucking think about i need more i need him to kiss me like that i need him to look at me like that again#i set the trap myself n strolled right in#i just. i need that rush back. i was so happy for a brief moment there. happier than i've ever been i think#it didn't last long but maybe that's cause i panicked when i said what i said. maybe if i just stop pretendin stop tryin to fight it#sometimes i feel the opposite but rn it's really hard to convince myself it's not enough that he wants me back#he doesn't hurt me when i behave but. i've never been very good at that for very long#n he'll probably get tired of me soon too. he's just lonely n nostalgic about the way things were back home.#......still though. how do i stop wanting it. wanting him. how the fuck do i stop#spdrvent
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