#and i swear 12 are asking me if ill update a fic again

[spicyreyes]

DAILY reminder my fics are not abandoned, I'm working on something

[pleasurextreasure]

❜cutlass (16/?)

genre: Aristocrat!reader x Pirate!Jeno, ft. NCT Dream

warnings: all nct Dream members are above 18+, multi-chapter, swear words here and there throughout fic

word count: 1.3k

prompts: in which Jeno is cursed to live for three more years and only loving someone and expecting nothing in return can break it

a/n: can i even fluff, honestly ➵admin kiki

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Current

Ξ r e q u e s t Ξ

Renjun pressed his palms flat against the gold railing that lined the perimeter of the ship’s bow. Chenle stood close by, allowing Renjun to feel the nervous aura the younger was presenting. The cabin boy was not the only one to be in this state as the rest of their crew was mere feet behind, dealing with their anxious thoughts in their own way.

Jaemin stayed true to his role on the ship, and trapped himself up in the crow’s nest, his watchful eyes scrutinizing the cobblestoned streets for any sign of their Captain and seamstress.

“Ten to two,” despite his low tone, Mark’s voice carried over to everyone’s ears.

Almost two hours now, Renjun mutely noted.

“I’m bringing Y/N back,” their Captain had announced, looking more determined than they’ve ever seen him.

“The plan?” Haechan questioned, arms folding over each other.

“I’m going to pose as a Navy soldier and wing it from there.” Jeno offered a devious grin after noticing their shocked expressions. “If I like the uniform enough, maybe I’ll think about even switching sides. See how it feels to fight against such a strong crew such as this one.”

“You’re going alone?” Mark ignored his jokes. “Excuse me for my brashness, Captain, but that’s fucking stupid.”

“Wouldn’t it be best to have at least one of us come with you in case of an emergency?” Renjun added in.

“The hardest part is sneaking off the ship without getting noticed.” Jeno explained, “after that, it’s just smooth sailing.”

“Because trespassing onto Navy property isn’t difficult at all, right?” Mark argued, again. “It’s a suicide mission.”

“Listen, I’ll be back within two hours.” Jeno continued on, acting ignorant towards his right hand man’s words. “If I’m not, you all know what will need to be done.”

Mark ran his fingers through tangled locks, pulling at his hair in apprehension. If their Captain wasn’t to return in the next eight minutes, they would need to pull away from their docking position and leave the town. This would mean Jeno’s automatic retirement of position and Mark, being the second highest in position, would become the crew’s new Captain. It was a position many wanted, but he had no desire for such a role.

Jeno had been born for this role, and Mark would be damned if he’d let his Captain give up the position this soon.

“Halt!”

The sudden cry grabs the attention of the group, their heads turning almost simultaneously to look for the source of the shouting. In the distance, between two buildings and running with all their might, was their Captain and seamstress.

Mark would have smiled in relief if not for the large group of Navy soldiers that were following close behind them. The suddenness of the situation sent him into a leading role, and he began calling out orders to his crewmates.

“Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen!” he barks out, watching in momentary pride of how fast his friends were to spring into action. “We need to bring down the plank!” Mark grabs Renjun and Jisung, bringing them towards the side of the ship.

⚓⚓

Your entire body feels like it’s engulfed in invisible flames as you grip harder onto Jeno’s guiding hand. The adrenaline that’s coursing you is the only source of energy that’s pushing you to continue to run. You felt as though your jellyfied legs would give out any second now, and you try to muster any strength left in you to oppose of the action.

“Halt, I say!”

If it weren’t for the pulling of your savior’s hand, you probably would have out of pure fear. You didn’t want to think of what consequences would await if you were to be caught, but you were sure it meant possible imprisonment.

You risked taking a look behind, noticing how far behind the soldiers were beginning to be. The crowd Jeno decided to weave you through was heavy and without the crafty experience, it would be hard to run through a crowd such as this. Looking back ahead, you grin as the distance between you and the ship began to quickly close.

Before long, you were being ushered to walk across the thin plank and momentary panic flashes over you. You feel Jeno’s hands on your waist, and you involuntarily blush as he reassuringly guides you onto the ship.

Renjun offers you his hand and pulls you on deck. “I would give you a proper welcoming back but we have bigger worries right now…” You turn to see that the Navy soldiers had finally caught up to you.

Growing alarmed at the sight of the soldiers crawling onto the plank, you grab an oar that was discarded on the floor and begin to wildly swing it at them. Jisung grabs at you, bringing you away from the side while Jeno and Renjun make haste to push the plank off the ship entirely. With their efforts paired with Mark’s experienced steering, the ship pulled away from port, leaving behind the mass of Navy soldiers.

In the next moment, you were pulled into various hugs, being tugged and pulled between Jisung and Renjun as they welcomed you with warm embraces. You didn’t have time to register their actions before gripping hands were pulling you away from their arms. Jeno lets out an annoyed cough as he gently squeezes your shoulders.

“Inform Haechan that there will be a feast tonight in honor of Y/N’s return.” Jeno says. “I’ll be tending to her wounds for the time-being. No one is to enter my quarters until further notice.”

Renjun, being the crew’s most experienced with medical situations, speaks up, “Captain, shouldn’t I-”

“I’ve asked you to tell Haechan of tonight’s event, so please see to it.” Jeno cuts him short, and the boy falls silent before a knowing smile appears.

“Of course.” With that, he drags Jisung with him off deck, in search of their cook.

“Come on,” Jeno urges you with a gentle push.

⚓⚓

“What did you do in order to get these?” he questions as you prop yourself at his desk chair.

He rummages through his drawers until he pulls out a small wooden box. You silently raise your hands when he returns to your side, allowing him to examine the injuries.

He lets out a sigh, shaking his head. “You may not be able to carry out your duties as a seamstress, afterall. I suppose you’ll be freeloading for some time.”

“You’re the one you brought me back on deck.” You reply, and he chuckles.

“Indeed I did.” He sweetly smiles. “Now, let’s see your hands.”

“They’re not that deep.” You explain, watching as he dabs a cotton swab with disinfectant.

“Nonetheless, they should be tended to.” Jeno argues in return as he kneels. He gently grabs your right hand, and begins to carefully clean them. “If I don’t do this, at least, then there’s a chance of infection. And I didn’t go through the trouble of getting you back just so you could fall ill on me.”

Your ears burn at the comment. “I took care of them this morning, after the incident.”

Ignoring you and working on your other hand, he continues on with his rant, “To think you would get this injured without me keeping me an eye on you.”

You were about to bitterly reply with a comeback when Jeno suddenly brings your hand to lay against his cheek as he looks up at you with a gentle gaze. You’re unable to look away, the serious look in his eyes keeping your stare rooted in place.

“I’ll have to stay by your side, then.”

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[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 12

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Thanks a lot to @ilovemygaydad for updating y’all about my wifi situation, the wifi works semi-well now, and... well...

WRITING THIS CHAPTER WAS HELL AND A HALF AND IM SO GLAD ITS FINALLY FINISHED.

Ahem. Excuse me. I have a couple of very important things to say, though.

If any of you haven't read the latest chapter of Keep Him Safe, which is right here, please go do so. I read it the moment it was posted and... I was at dinner with my family, so I had to hold in my squealing... to be perfectly honest with y'all, I already knew what was going to happen in that chapter since I started writing chapter three, I think...? So I have known about this for a very long time, but it still made me super happy to see it actually happen in writing. So... go read KHS, y'all. You really should. It's awesome.

(Quick update: I checked my screenshots and... yeah, I've known about that since July, which is when I started writing this fic. Again, I've known about what happened in sleep for six months, and surprisingly didn't spoil almost any of it to anyone around me. I deserve a fucking prize.)

To anyone who just came over from Eva's shameless plugging of me - hello, nice to have you here. In this fucked up piece of angst we discuss queer history as well as Remy's personal history, or - as I said to myself while reading and re-reading what Eva has to say about this fic - "well, this story is as much about queer history as it is about Remy, where he came from, where he's going, where he came from cotton eye joey'n". And to anyone who's a regular reader, I'm so glad you're sticking around to read this... this thing. It's become a monster in my head, I can promise you that much.

As always, thanks to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the original idea, to @whatwashernameagain for the original fic (can you believe it’s been six months since we came up with chapter 23?), to @anony-phangirl and @asleepybisexual and @winglessnymph for the help wherever needed, and a special one to Morgan - again - for helping me get the word out. All of those people are my shining stars and I love them so much.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @why-things-go-boom, @ilovemygaydad (thanks again, kiddo!), @violetblossem. @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch

(Wanna be tagged? Just lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter discusses rape again, this time in a bit more detail (nothing graphic, it’ll never be graphic, I promise), and includes a... panic attack of sorts. Be warned.

—————

January 24th, 2003

Emile's smile faltered.

"...so what if I got raped?" He muttered, putting down the stack of chairs he was holding. "What's done is done. They had their fun—"

"They…?" India tilted her head. Oh shoot… "There was more than one person?"

"More like three… what? Why are you looking at me like—"

The stack India was holding fell to the floor.

"Did you tell anyone?" Emile stared at the floor. Maybe she'll go away if he doesn't cooperate. "Emile! Did you tell anyone?"

"I told the doctors…" Emile's voice faltered. "What's going on?"

"I'm surprised you're even alive right now!" India's pacing was… terrifying. For some reason… she suddenly just… turned so scary. "Mixing date rape drugs with alcohol, which is what I'm assuming happened to you, is so dangerous! And I'm only assuming that's what happened because I heard from Remy that they found GHB traces—"

"I'm not proud," Emile managed to stutter. "Of… all this. I just… I can drink, okay? I made some mistakes in the past—"

"You're seventeen!"

"I made some mistakes in the past, and… this one makes me feel like all those mistakes have been trying to tell me that I shouldn't exist…"

"No… no, peach, please." He already started crying by the time she stepped in to hug him. "I get that. I really do. Sometimes I think about how much better my life might've been if I pretended like I'm 'cured' of being transgender after conversion. My cousin wouldn't have done what she did, that's the biggest plus. But… I wouldn't have come here. I wouldn't have started on my way to become a statistics analyst. I wouldn't have met Jenna. I would probably be living a sad, closeted life back home, and that isn't such a nice thing."

"You were too…?"

"I was too, yeah… as victims, we gotta stick to each other."

The wet spots on India's sweater were getting larger by the second. But she didn't mind it.

"Like I was told when I was sixteen," she said, much quieter than before. "Nobody is going to believe a man who says he was raped. We gotta stick together, whether we like it or not."

——

"Hey, isn't that that friend of yours?" Remy heard behind him about two minutes before the meeting started.

Oh, good.

"Hey, didn't you deliberately choose to forget that I live in the other side of the US from you because you wanted to be a little fuck?" Remy asked back, looking at Chris turn redder than a tomato.

"I swear to god, I had no idea!"

"Suck it and your excuses, Mendez."

"Hey, hey… come on, Remy. Won't you at least let me make it up to you?"

Remy couldn't stay angry… well, he could. But not as angry. It was a stupid reason, too…

"I will." Chris beamed at him. "But it'll take a very long time."

"...you have a week."

"I won't let you down," Chris said with the same wide, obnoxious grin, quickly kissing Remy's cheek and taking a seat.

Fuck him and his obnoxious self.

On the third of January, Remy and Emile sat down on the hotel bed in what was probably the fanciest hotel Remy's ever been to (though he never really visited any hotels in his life, no time or money for that). They were listening to Gustav Holst's The Planets as Emile performed a one-man dramatic reading of No Exit, and Remy couldn't feel more at peace.

This situation right here - all the people, all the tension, Chris right there a few steps away from him - was the exact opposite.

"Do you want me to leave?" A quiet voice said and Remy felt himself being squeezed so tight, he was sure his ribs would crack. Emile. "I can leave if you—"

"Come on, sit next to me," Remy said as quietly and took a rather far seat from Chris. Serves him right.

"Happy Friday, everyone," India opened the meeting. "I see that we got some new people after the break, so we're going to do another name round. Who wants to start?"

Emile raised his hand almost immediately.

"I'm Emile, I'm— do we mention our major?"

"If you want to."

"I'm Emile, I'm a psychology major, and I'm probably gay. Or asexual. I just… don't really know if I'm more gay or asexual yet."

——

Monday, January 27th

"Look, I find some of what you teach suspect," Emile hummed to himself as he skipped behind Remy back to their building after a particularly entertaining sols 20 class. "Because I'm used to relying on intellect, but I try to open up to what I don't know, because reason says I should've died three years ago…"

"Em, stop it," Remy half-laughed. "I get it, you're still thinking about Rent."

"It was such a good show!" Emile whined - well, sort of. "Jai Rodriguez was really good!"

"I met Idina Menzel through this," Remy said with another chuckle. "She's nice… kind of a diva, if you ask me."

"So… like you?"

"What do you mean, like me?"

"Nice, but kind of a diva." Emile nudged him. "I'll bet you she's totally selfless and sweet but acts like she doesn't care about anything in the world—"

"No, actually… she isn't." Remy sighed. The memories were foggy - it was over eight years ago - but… "Dad is working on some project with her again. Her and Kristin Chenoweth…"

"Kristin?" Emile shrieked. "Good golly, I love her! She's so sweet and talented!"

"I'm really not supposed to tell you anything," Remy laughed, and then stopped.

A figure made him freeze at his doorstep. A small, shaking figure, with braided brown hair and an ill-fitting, black, puffy coat.

Leah was rapidly knocking on Remy's suite door.

——

"Why did you think it was a good idea to come here?" Remy asked, careful not to scream. Leah sat in the living room, her hair dripping wet from the shower he made her take, wrapped up in the clothes she brought with her in her lime green schoolbag. She was waiting on her hot chocolate.

"I wanted to."

"How did you even get a bus ticket? You're seven!"

"I took money from mom and went to the bus station!" Leah huffed. "I know where the buses are, and I know how to—"

"I didn't say you don't know, Leah Mae," Remy chastised, putting the cup of hot chocolate on the table quite forcefully. "But you're seven years old! This was incredibly dangerous of you—"

"I don't wanna live at home anymore!" Leah screamed. "Mom was mean all of Christmas, and Lizzie wasn't being nice when we went back to school, she didn't want me to be her friend anymore, and Rachel was annoying—"

"Sweetie, they're going to think I kidnapped you!" Leah was taken aback. Remy was worried to the point of terrifying. "They're going to think I kidnapped you, Leah. It won't end well!"

"I didn't think…" the tears started coming out. Oh shit… "I didn't mean it! I just… I don't like being home! Don't be mad at me!"

"Oh, baby, no, I'm not mad at you!" Remy was quick to take her in for a hug. His poor baby sister… "I'm just worried, Leah. Extremely worried. Never do such a thing ever again, okay?" She nodded in his arms. "There's nothing we can do about this now, but—"

The door opened with a bang, and "I brought the bunnies!"

Leah immediately perked up. Mycroft tried to hop straight into her lap the moment he was close enough, since he already knew her and was very worried for the tiny human, but Lestrade took his time getting to know her. She was new, and he didn't know her yet, and what if she wasn't going to be nice?

"Leah, this is Lestrade," Emile said with a huge smile, closing the door and coming to cuddle them all - Remy included. "He's Mycroft's brother, and I adopted him after Christmas!"

"But you don't celebrate Christmas."

"No I don't, but you do." He booped her nose, making her giggle. "Lestrade is a nice boy. Give him a bit, he'll jump into your lap in no time."

As Leah entertained herself, playing with the bunnies and telling them stories, Remy pulled Emile to the side.

"She ran away from home!"

"I heard that when you asked me to go get the bunnies, Remy."

"She's seven years old! What do I do with a seven-year old runaway? Is it even a thing? A seven-year old runaway?"

Emile kisses Remy's cheek quicker than he could process it happening. "It's going to be fine. Call Linda, let her know that Leah is here—"

"Leah asked me not to tell anyone she's here," Remy sighed, rubbing his face in frustration.

"I understand, but… Linda is still your mom. Leah is still seven years old. She needs to go home, whether you like it or not." When Remy still seemed like he's having trouble processing it, Emile pulled him into a hug. "Do you want me to talk to her about it for you?"

Remy could only say a very weak "yes please" before Emile went back to the couch, to talk to Leah.

He was jittering. He was angry, and scared, and disappointed, and proud, and he felt everything so intensely and was so shocked and confused that he couldn't name it. He barely turned eighteen last July, he didn't even know how to drive yet, and he was absolutely, most definitely, going to be in trouble for this seven-year old child showing up at his door after running away from home.

He wasn't going to call Linda. But he couldn't keep Leah over. And he didn't know shit about raising children, for the period of time he was going to have Leah over, until he figures out what to do. Remy wanted to scream, how much he wanted to. But he couldn't.

So he did the next best thing he could do. He dropped to the floor and started crying.

He was too tired, physically and emotionally, to pick himself back up at that particular moment.

[pleasurextreasure]

❜cutlass (13/?)

genre: Aristocrat!reader x Pirate!Jeno, ft. NCT Dream

warnings: all nct Dream members are above 18+, multi-chapter, swear words here and there throughout fic

word count: 1.4k

prompts: in which Jeno is cursed to live for three more years and only loving someone and expecting nothing in return can break it

a/n: for once, i’ve got nothing to say here ➵admin kiki

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Current

Ξ r e q u e s t Ξ

The feelings that dwelled inside you were too many in numbers to name. Your mind felt like a blank film that was trying to run with no memory to show. You were at the point of numbness. Everything around felt numbing, even the tablecloth you had clenched between your curled fingers.

“It’s wonderful to have you back, darling.” Your mother comments for the umpteenth time. Her smile was one of genuine happiness, yet your bitterness stopped you from smiling back at her.

You had no reason to share her excitement of return. Not when you had been betrayed by Jeno and his crewmates who threw you back into the lion’s den. A day has passed since your permanent heartbreak, and the inner wound that laid deep within your chest was still fresh.

“We can finally get back to the preparations of the wedding.” The demon adds in before taking a delicate sip of his fifty-two-year-old wine. He had opened the bottle in “celebration”, he had claimed. You begged to differ.

Again, you were thrown into the same topic that caused your escape. It felt as though you were in a smaller boat now, one that had no indication of escape, unlike Jeno’s ship where adventure and freedom screamed.

You couldn’t find the fight in you to go against your father’s words this time. It felt pointless at the moment. The windows in your room had been barred, and you now had a personal attendant that watched over you every hour of the day. During the night, there was a maid who sat in a lounging chair in the corner of your bedroom. Sleeping proved to be one of difficulty because of her watchful gaze.

“How long do I have before you give me away?” you bluntly question, staring down at your untouched plate of crawfish.

“Come now, dear. We are offering your hand in marriage, not tossing you away.” He says, a hint of amusement in his voice. “I am sure the Nakamoto’s will be ecstatic to have someone such as yourself as their daughter-in-law.”

“I bet you never told them I ran away, did you?” you challenge his scrutinizing look with a glare of your own. “What lie did you allow yourselves to believe?”

“We informed them of an illness you undergone. One of sea sickness, if you will.”

How kind of you, you bitterly think.

Your mother, who has been silent up until this moment, speaks up to add in some gentle words of her own. “Their son is one of the finest in the County, Y/N. I have high expectations of your happiness with the man.”

“What do you know of happiness?” you lash out, finding joy in the shocked expressions you recieve. There was a flame that was beginning to enlight within you, and you desperately wanted to keep its flame. “You’ve been stored away in this god awful home, finding pitiful excuses to cling your happiness to.”

“That is enough, Y/N.” The warning tone in your father’s voice makes you flinch inwardly.

“I think it’s too little, on the contrary. What good comes from marrying someone you know nothing of? And what of you, dearest mother of mine? Weren’t you in the same position as me during your youth? You mean to tell me you’ve come to love my father?”

You see a flash of emotion surface through her eyes and your moment of self-pride is abruptly halted when your father is grabbing roughly by the arm, dragging you up from your chair.

“You are as ignorant as you were when you left. I had hoped the sharks may have gotten to you during your absence but it seems as though God is not on my side for the matter.” He hisses, pure fury surfacing in his voice and actions. “I’ve only taken you back into the household for the sake of reputation. But it seems you will need to be reformed into the woman you were during earlier times.”

He drags you out of the dining room and pushes you towards your attendant. Your father demands your imprisonment in your room until the day of the Nakamoto’s arrival, and your personal attendant sees through the order. You’re guided back to your bedroom, feeling dread claw itself into you as you hear the lock loudly click shut.

In your moment of silent rage, you hastily walk towards your vanity, once more taking in the appearance of yourself. Your hair had been neatly combed and pinned back by your mother this morning, and the ragged clothes you came in had been discarded for a pale blue dress.

“I’m no longer the same as I once was,” you bite out, finding yourself ripping the hair ornament out of your hair, allowing it to fall to the ground.

You ignore the pain that follows from you pulling your own hair as you rip away the pins that are holding your locks up. You rub your hands across your face, smearing the makeup and any remains that confined you to the Aristocratic appearance. You find yourself breathing heavily at this point, and you reach for one of your brushes.

Your grip on its handle loosens as you fling it towards the vanity’s mirror, ultimately shattering the glass to pieces. A smile caresses your lips as you picked up a shard.

⚓⚓

The winds were unkind to them, and there was no valid reason for why they shouldn’t be. They had done a horrible deed. He had given the go-ahead for the said deed, and had ruin any chances of him ever being genuinely happy, again.

It was for your sake, Jeno tries to tell himself. You’d be in constant danger because of him, and he couldn’t have your blood on his hands if the day ever came. You were too innocent for the pirate life. Too innocent for him.

The burning in his chest contrasted his righteous thoughts, as if to tell him that what he’s done was the wrong thing. He knows it’s the wrong thing to do. He shouldn’t have never let you onto this ship to begin with. If Jeno knew the pain was to be this bad, he would have brought you back sooner.

But the painful throbbing of his heart allowed him to feel grateful towards meeting such a lovely person such as yourself. You were kind, caring, event gentle at times towards him - a lowly criminal who was slowly approaching his death.

Jeno believed that he could bear with the pain of knowing you’d scorn him for what he’s done. He was only now understanding that this moment was more unbearable than obtaining his curse on that wretched day.

“Captain.”

The single word is able to bring him back to the reality he has made for himself now. He looks up, momentarily locking gazes with Chenle before uttering a “what is it?’.

“Can I trouble you for a moment?” his crewmate takes a seat on the step below him before an answer was given. If it was anyone else outside his crew, Jeno would deem such a thing disrespectful. “I think… I think you’ve made a mistake.”

“You’re daring to say such a thing about your Captain?” Jeno couldn’t help but sound mocking. Of course, he’s made a mistake. It just so happens that his mistake was a disastrous one that would lead him to death.

“I mean no disrespect, of course. But…” the younger trails off, trying to form his thoughts into words. “Don’t you think giving Y/N back to her family was the wrong thing to do? She ran away in the first place for a reason.”

“She’s capable of fending for herself. She’s gotten stronger during the time she was with us.” The words leave behind a bitter taste in Jeno’s mouth.

In the next moment, Jeno finds himself watching Chenle fall to the floow in a bowing position so low that his forehead is intimately pressed against the decks’ wooden boards.

“On behalf of the crew, I beg of you to bring Y/N back on board. It is the only way we can save your life, and you knew this before any of us.”

“If I refuse?”

Chenle is caught off guard by the question. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but that wasn’t something he’d think Jeno would have said. From his position on the sidelines, he understood there was a unspoken, deep connection between the two of you. It was up to him and his crewmates to bring light to it, seeing as both sides were blind to notice it.

“We will call for mutiny.”

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