#and i took some iron supplements but i think. i might need IV ones again

[kirishwima]

im. not doing well 🤡

[minniemixe]

Beauty And The Beast

Gangster AU

Stray Kids Fanfic

Chan x Reader

Other Appearances: GOT7 BTS

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Violence, Mentions of stabbing

Beauty and the Beast Masterlist

Chapter 3

Moon screamed in shock and pain as she gasped for air, falling on her side, her vision blurred as she tried to sit up. “Yah! stop overreacting, I know what I’m doing, it’s not severe” but before his sentence finished, Moon had already fainted. Kneeling down next to her, he shook her body, assuming she was bluffing. “Hey, wake up” but to no avail, inspecting her wound, he saw no signs of a serious injury, his knife wasn’t that big, so the cut couldn’t be too deep nor was there excessive blood loss, which confused him as to why the girl fainted. He picked her up and sprinted out of the gym. Carrying her towards the infirmary, he stopped midway thinking to himself about how he was going to explain the situation, and there was no way that the leader wouldn’t find out about this, which worried him even more. Looking at the unconscious figure in his arms, he knew he messed up real bad.

To his dismay, when he opened the door to the infirmary, the leader was inside, joking around with Anna, “She’s not dead” he spoke before either of them could question him. 

“How did this happen?” CB inquired 

“Long story” HH answered putting Moon on the bed

Anna started working on the wound as the two boys engaged in the conversation.

“The wound isn’t very deep, was there too much blood loss?” the brown haired girl asked, interpreting the two boys 

“No, that’s the confusing part, why did she faint?” HH spoke

“Probably from the shock” CB stated 

“I’ll still need blood samples, something doesn’t seem right. She once came to me for painkillers after training with Changbin, saying she had a headache and was feeling dizzy, I shrugged it off thinking it might be because of hunger or low blood sugar since I have that all the time. But her fainting like this, I think it might be something else. Chan could you hand me that kit” Anna explained pointing towards the said kit  

“Hwang stabbing her was a little too much man” Chan spoke, handing Anna the kit

“Oh and IV drip as well from that cupboard”

“Yeah yeah, I know, I admit this was my fault, but it was kinda accidental” he defended himself

“Hyunjin dear, there is no such thing as kinda accidental, you either stabbed her or it was an absolute accident, please choose one” Anna sarcastically spoke while attaching the canola to Moon’s arm

“Well I meant to make a small cut but my hand slipped and I ended up stabbing her, but before I could even say anything, she just screams one second and is out cold the next” he explained 

“She’s a feisty one, you should sleep with your eyes open, she’ll definitely get you back for this” Chan laughed

“You se-” Hyunjin was cut off as Woo and El entered the infirmary

“I need the pill” El told Anna 

“You know Woojin, it wouldn’t kill you to get a condom.” Chan told the older 

“Nah that’s too much work” El replied popping the pill in her mouth 

“It’s literally just rolling it on, how is that too much work” Hyunjin questioned

“TMI bro!!!” Anna shouted  

“Alright that’s enough” Woojin spoke 

“What happened to her?” El asked looking towards Moon’s unconscious figure

Anna lifted the blanket from the side to show her the stitches. “Could you let the girl be???? Don’t you think stabbing her was a little too much” El said samacking Hyunjin across the head

“Owww!!!” 

“Woojin could you please get this blood tested?” Anna asked, handing him the blood sample

“Yeah sure” he took the blood and left the infirmary

“How long do you think she’ll be out?” Hyunjin asked 

“I’m not su-” Anna got cut off hearing a groan coming from behind them, the three turned around to see Moon sitting up on the bed. The moment she spotted Hyunjin she threw the sheets off her and leaped at him “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU” she shouted, before Moon could touch him, Chan casually grabbed her waist and bought her flush against his chest, stopping her from hurting Hyunjin or herself. However Moon wasn’t having any of it as she struggled against his hold trying to get to Hyunjin. “Calm down princess, you don’t want to open your wound”. Moon’s heartbeat increased hearing that pet name and the fact that his hand was on her bare stomach didn’t help either. Hyunjin stuck his tongue out and ran out the infirmary.  

Moon sighed loudly and cursed under her breath. “How long was I out for?” she asked turning around to face the Chan 

“About an hour, maybe less” Anna answered 

“Do you have any iron supplements?” Moon asked running a hand through her hair 

“Why do you need those?” Chan asked 

“I’m anemic” she answered 

“Oohh, must’ve been the reason you passed out” Anna put the dots together 

“The blood test isn’t of any use now” Chan said 

“When did yo-” Moon was about to ask when she looked down at her arm, which was bleeding around the canola, “-is this supposed to be happening?” Moon asked extending her arm towards Anna 

“No it’s not and it wouldn’t have happened either if you hadn’t tried to jump Hyu- HH so aggressively” she said taking her arm to remove the canola

“Now go easy, you don’t want to ruin the stitches, so it’s best to just rest” Anna said after cleaning her arm.  

“What about training?” she asked 

“Phase 1 and 2 will be put on hold, you’ll train with Dandy, I.N and Liv, that’s phase 3, we’ll just have to determine your position first” Chan explained

“Don’t get your stitches wet, and come get them checked next week” Anna told Moon, who nodded her head and left. 

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It had been 3 weeks since the incident and Moon had been training with the three as told by the leader. During this time she learned that she was not fit to be in the Medic Team. Liv had tried her best to teach the older girl the basics, however it never ended in a good way. After almost killing J.One, Chan decided that it was enough and that more time shouldn’t be wasted. 

The gang was once again gathered in the meeting hall, this time to test Moon’s skills in tech. 

“There isn’t much to it, I hacked into the phone through which my dad was contacted, but not even minutes later the signal was lost, and the location I picked up was somewhere near a river. I managed to hack the traffic cams around the area and tracked the car CB97 go- is there some easier name I can call you, CB97 is weird. Anyways I tracked the car back” Moon explained when asked how she found them

“Impressive, and you may call me Chris” the leader replied making everyone gasp, considering this was against protocol

“Chris. Hhmm I like it, has a nice ring to it” Moon muttered 

“But what we can’t understand is how we couldn’t track back to you?” Dandy questioned 

“This one is connected to the projector?” Moon asked pointing towards Dandy’s laptop 

“Yeah” 

“I.N, can I have yours?”

“Sure” 

She took the computer and started typing away on it. 20 minutes later she spoke 

“Okay, now both of you, try  and hack into this using Dandy’s laptop”

“Excuse me? What did you do to it?” Dandy snatched it away from her 

“Nothing, just please do what I asked” Moon said 

Dandy looked at her skeptically but nonetheless began the task. Moon grabbed I.N’s laptop again to continue doing what she was. Everyone could see what Dandy and I.N were doing and the atmosphere was starting to get thick. “I’m in” Dandy spoke, Moon pressed a few keys on I.N’s laptop and everything on Dandy’s screen disappeared. “What the fuck?!?!?!?” Dandy exclaimed

“How did you do that?” I.N asked surprised, his eyes as big as saucers 

Moon giggled at the younger’s adorable expression and moved between him and Dandy. Taking Dandy’s laptop she started clicking away as she explained what she was doing, “So basically the hacker thinks they’ve gotten in, when in reality they’ve only reached a dummy server, the moment they fall for the decoy, I’ll be notified that someone is trying to break in, and if i do this-” she pressed a few keys “-the whole algorithm will reset and everything they did will be erased”

“How did you do this?” HH asked 

“How come Dandy didn’t know about this? He’s the head of all this tech stuff” J.One chirped in 

“Because I built this software to avoid legal issues. So no one knows about this” Moon answered

“Not bad shorty, looks like you can contribute after all” Woo smirked 

Moon wanted to say something snarky but decided against it, getting on HH’s bad side got her stabbed, she didn’t want to think about what could happen if she pissed off a sniper. 

“Well this concludes that Phase three is over and you’ll be put in the Tech Team with Dandy and I.N” Chris spoke

(A/N: I did not do a fact check, and I don’t know shit about hacking, please bear with me)

“What about my field test? What if I want to be on the task force?” Moon asked

“Shouldn’t you stick to what you’re good at princess, make things a bit easier for yourself” that pet name got her feeling butterflies in her stomach 

“Too boring, I want some action in my life”

“Joining a gang should be action enough” Lee Know said 

“At least give me chance, you said there would be a field test, if I pass that,  let me be on the task force” Moon requested 

“Okay, complete phase 1 and 2, if you pass, I’ll accept your request” Chris said 

“I thought I already passed phase 1? I won with all three of my instructors” Moon stated 

“Not with me” HH interrupted

“You cheated” Moon replied 

“I told you there will be no such thing as fair play when you’re in the field” 

“But I had you pinned down with my knife to your throat, what did you want me to do, kill you?” 

“Your body language said it all, your hands were shaking, you were hesitant, even if it were someone else underneath you, you wouldn’t have been able to kill them, that’s why I stabbed you, to show you what happens if you’re not quick” he explained 

“You don't know me!! I’d have killed anyone else, it was you that I was nervous, I didn’t want to accidentally do something that’d get me in trouble” she defended herself 

“Well how flattering, so glad to know I’m of importance to you” HH said sarcastically 

“Don-”

“STOP IT!!! BOTH OF YOU” Chris shouted 

“That’s enough. Moon you’ll fight me tomorrow in the ring, if you defeat me, you’ll start phase 2, if not, you’ll continue with SpearB. Dismissed.” Chris said and left the room, everyone following behind.

Hyunjin ran after the leader calling out to him “Chan wait!”, Chan turned around to face him

“Yeah?” he asked

“Why didn’t you put me with her to train, why Changbin?” Hyunjin asked 

“Because I don’t want her to end up back in the infirmary due to a childish rivalry” Chan answered 

“You seem to care a lot about our new member” Hyunjin smirked

“Watch your mouth or you’ll be the one in the infirmary” the older said turning around, his ears turning red.

“Mouth or hands?” Hyunjin called out. The moment those words left his mouth, a knife went flying past his head. The younger was completely unfazed until a scream was heard from down the hallway. “Shit!” the leader cursed as they both ran towards the source of the scream. 

“And I was going to put her in the infirmary” Hyunjin laughed looking at Moon who was clutching the side of her neck with blood trickling down. Chan raised his fist and Hyunjin ran away shouting a bunch of sorries. “Is this a subtle way of saying, ‘please kill yourself and make things easier for us’” Moon sarcastically questioned

Chan released a breathy laugh and replied “Sorry, this one’s on me, let me help you with that”. 

“Please do bef-” Moon started losing her balance, Chan hurriedly grabbed her waist balancing her “woah there” he said looking down at her weak figure

“Before I pass out” she completed her sentence, standing up straight with Chan’s help.

“The cut isn’t very deep, it doesn’t need stitches, a simple bandage will do” Chan spoke, inspecting her wound

“That’s a relief,” she replied. The room filled with comfortable silence as Chan cleaned her wound and started bandaging it.  

“How come you’re not fazed by anything” Chan asked focused on Moon’s neck

“Fazed as in?” Moon questioned

“I don’t know, you joined a gang 6 months ago, you were quite calm for that and after the beginning of training you were normal, you would be covered in bruises but you’d continue about your day as if it's not even there.” he told looking in her eyes, now done with treating her neck 

“Everyone has a story” Moon whispered 

“What’s yours?” he asked, hand cupping her neck, thumb gently rubbing her cheek

“Not the best one” she answered leaning into his touch 

“Why?” he asked after a few seconds 

“Why what?”

“Why did you look for him, why, even though he was abusive?” 

“I never sa-”

“I saw. The night you left, I followed you out, and I saw everything” he cut her off. 

Moon sighed closing her eyes “I don’t know, it’s complicated. I didn’t want to, but at the same time I wanted to, it was all so confusing” she answered opening her eyes, meeting his honey brown ones 

“What would you have done if I didn’t let him go? Would your life be peaceful right now” he asked, suddenly feeling weird towards her. 

“I don’t know. I guess I wouldn’t have left, I would’ve forced you, even if it got me killed. I didn’t want to look for him but I did, for my mother. Being honest, my life is much more peaceful than it was back at home” she told. At this Chan let out a series of laughs, his head resting on her shoulder as he kneeled in front of her. “What’s so funny?” She asked giggling 

“You, you are one of a kind. Who the hell says, they’re peaceful being in a gang” he said getting up, extending his hand out to her. She just shrugged her shoulders, taking his hand and standing up. “At least now I can fight back when someone hits me” Moon says as they both exit the infirmary.

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  “Stabbing is not allowed. Pinned under, with a knife against the throat, one of us concedes, cut somewhere where a vital organ is, passing out, counts as losing. Since stabbing is not allowed any cuts made will be considered stab wounds, meaning if the cut is big it insinuates that the victim bleeds to death” Chan explained as Moon and him stood in the middle of the gym ready to fight with the rest of the members watching.  

Moon threw a punch to Chan’s throat, he successfully dodged it grabbing Moon’s arm and twisting it. She went to kick his leg but he threw her on the ground before her leg could touch his. Chan lunged forward to punch her when she rolled over causing him to hit the ground. Moon quickly got up and locked her arm around his throat, she tightened her hold trying to choke him but he leaned forward flipping Moon over causing her to fall flat on her back. Chan jabbed her with his elbow making her groan, she retaliated by kneeing him in the head, Chan fell back giving her the perfect opportunity to get back on her feet. Moon kicked Chan in the side making him stumble, quickly straddling him, she pulled her dagger to attack, however Chan was quick to react. He twisted her arm making her drop the weapon, successfully flipping them over, Chan now had Moon under him. But before Chan could draw his weapon at her, she headbutted him. Chan grabbed his nose groaning in pain, Moon took this opportunity and pushed him off herself and ran towards her weapon. Chan quickly recovered and grabbed her arm pulling her back, he turned her around and wrapped his hand around her neck choking her, evoking a scream due to the pressure on her wound. She started scratching his arms to get him to loosen his grip but it was useless. She put one feet on his chest while holding his arm, steadying herself, she hauled her other leg over his shoulder and around his neck. While Moon tried to elbow him in the head he grabbed her waist and pulled her back. Moon wrapped her other leg around his head as well making him bow his head, taking advantage of the position she put both her palms on the ground and with much difficulty she managed to flip them both over. Chan landed on his back with his head between her thighs. Moon tightened her hold trying to choke him which proved useless. Chan was both larger and stronger than her, taking advantage of his strength, he squeezed her thigh bruising it, however Moon was unfazed and kept tightening her legs, Chan grabbed her other leg and pulled them apart. Getting up he pulled her towards himself by her leg. Putting his legs on either of her waist he straddled her, he pinned both her wrists above her head and leaned closer to her, “Not so tough now, huh princess”. She’d be lying to herself if she said that the close proximity didn’t make her heart flutter. Looking up at his smug expression she knew he was doing it on purpose knowing how it affected her. Moon reached forward and attached her lips to his catching everyone off guard. Taking advantage of his shocked state, she kneed his back pushing him off. Quickly getting up and grabbing her weapon, “Not so tough now, huh daddy” the words left her mouth before she could stop them. 

“Enjoying yourself baby girl?” he asked trying to grab her, but Moon was fast and swung her knife making a huge cut from his shoulder, across his chest to the side of his abdomen. “More than you can imagine” she smirked stepping away from him. 

“That’s definitely going to leave a scar” Woojin spoke 

“Don’t worry, Moon’s gonna kiss it better” Hyunjin joined in

“I won, now I get a field test as promised” Moon said before anyone else could pass any comments 

“Not yet princess, you still have phase 2 to complete” Chan answered 

“How long will that take?” she whined

“Depends on how fast you learn to shoot a weapon” Woojin said 

“Why are you so eager for a field test anyway?” Bree asked

“Because it’s boring in here, I wanna go out” Moon answered 

“Being almost stabbed to death twice is boring?” Anna exclaimed

“I need more spice” Moon shrugged 

Chan grabbed her wrist and started dragging her with him. “Where are you taking me?” she asked, trying to get out of his grip. “To make your life more spicy” he simply said before dragging her out of the door.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[raeyvies]

What if MC didn’t take care of herself while V was hospitalized ? (based on day 10) pt. 3

Actually wrote this a lot faster than I thought. Then again I already had half written by the time I posted pt.2. This part is a little slower, but it’s centered around Jihyun. Oh and MC’s blood results came back! Remember, MC here is MC Jeon because I gave her a last name. 

Thank you so much again to those who gave me such positive comments! I hope you enjoy this part and well stick around for the next part because more is gonna start happening :D!

Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt.4 // Pt.5 // Pt. 6

Length: 2022 words

Part: 3/?

Pairing: VxMC

Warnings: none

Sorry for any grammatical mistakes ^^;;

Jihyun’s night turned out to be so much longer than he would have liked it to be. Since Jumin left, the room was just a cloud of silence and it was suffocating in the least. It bothered him that he woke up so close to the end of visiting hours. It was around 10:30 pm that he woke up and MC fell unconscious. He wanted to scream everything on his mind. Having no one to distract him, no one to talk to him, he was left to his thoughts. And anyone who knew what it was like to be alone to your thoughts in the dead of night was torture.

Jumin’s disappointed yet concerned words resonated in his ears and because of them, Jihyun was now looking back on his life. Had he always been this way? Why had he not seen how selfish he bad become? Even when he said he gave his all to Rika, he was really taking everything from her. How could anyone handle him? How could MC do this to herself someone like him?

Everything that seemed to make sense in his life no longer did.

Was it because he was now starting to change? Was it because he finally had an outside lens into his life? All these questions swam around in his sea of thoughts and refused to let him be at peace. At least for one night so he could recuperate would be enough. If Jihyun could recover, he could take care of MC. But negativity ate at him for what felt like an eternity, especially since the only clock in the room was across the room where he could not see.

If he was being truthful with himself, Jihyun was even avoiding looking at MC. Seeing her in such a state only made him feel so worthless and like a burden. He had promised her since the beginning that he would protect her. Save her. But it had been the opposite all this time and all he ever repaid her with was anxiety. He even began to admit to himself that it was his stubbornness and he needed to change that about himself as soon as he could if he wanted everything else in his life to change.

Stirring in bed only made his wound that much more painful so he could not even fidget that night. Constantly rubbing his eyes, he hoped that some drops of sleep and tiredness would rain on him. But it did not come until much later around midnight. It was at that time that another nurse came in to check on MC that exhaustion finally kicked in, sending him off to another world where he could escape such pessimistic thoughts. And he did not wake up until six in the morning when light shown through the window, courtesy of the early morning sun

The pain in his abdomen had subsided quite a bit, much to Jihyun’s relief. But now he was absolutely hungry, his stomach growling for food. It took him a while to completely wake up as he was drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness, his eyelids fluttering and fighting to remain open. It was not until he noticed that now there were two nurses checking up on MC, as opposed to the previous single nurse. They were injecting medicine directly into her veins and from what little Jihyun could perceive, he managed to hear them say that the blood work came in.

Jihyun grunted as he shifted into a sitting position on his bed and asked the nurses with a raspy voice, “I hear you two saying something about her blood tests. May I know what results came back in?”

The new nurse was not sure of he was allowed to know but the other was there when Jumin gave his permission to discuss MC’s test results with his friend. The nurse came to his bedside and showed him the document with all the information he needed to know. He squinted and rubbed his eyes hoping to focus on the letters but he was either too exhausted yet or his vision was worsening. It was most probable that it was the latter.

The nurse explained to him about the findings in her blood and said, “According to Miss Jeon’s tests, she's been developing anemia for a while now. Of course, it's nothing alarming or to worry about so much because it's easily treatable. That's why she was so cold last night.”

“I see… So, even with that condition, she'll be fine?”

“She should be. We're just giving her iron supplements and vitamin B now that we know. She has a low red blood cell count so that may contribute to still being asleep. With anemia, it means she'll be easily fatigued and lightheaded, but we'll discuss more about this when her guardian arrives,” the nurse informed Jihyun and then placed the documents elsewhere before returning to his side. “I'm also going to need to check your wound for the moment.”

Still trying to become fully aware of everything, he awkwardly lowered his blankets and lifted his shirt for the nurse to see. With a nod he gave, the nurse began to examine his wound. She also checked around the area for any tenderness, to which gave Jihyun discomfort, drawing a pained moan from his mouth. Once done with the examination, he pulled down his shirt and was informed that he was healing just fine and that he could walk now; finally being allowed the walk elated him so much but he knew he could not simply walk expecting to have the same strength in his lower body. After all, he had been confined to a bed for over twenty six hours.

Before the nurse could leave, Jihyun’s stomach growled again and it reminded him to ask for breakfast if was allowed to eat yet. Fortunate enough, the nurse told him that someone would bring him food soon. However, he was defeated by drowsiness and did not get to eat breakfast until much later around noon. Might as well be lunch then.

Admittedly, it was hard to push down the food they gave him because of its undesirable bland taste. If anything it felt like he was eating plastic. But Jihyun knew he needed something in his body to start functioning well again. Finishing up what little breakfast they served him, he drank up some grape juice and set the tray aside at the end of his bed. Considering that he was fully awake now, he removed his blankets, slowly and carefully, and his feet found their way to the floor. Shivers traveled up his body as he felt the floor was almost like ice. Jihyun grabbed hold of his IV, using it as his support as he walked over to MC. It was a painfully slow process and he thought his legs would give in very soon.

Sitting on her bedside, Jihyun laid his hand on hers and compared to last night, her hands were much warmer, to his relief. It seemed that the medication and supplements were helping her out, seeing as her skin was not as pale anymore. Listening to her steady breathing was soothing as well. Jihyun could not help but feel more than just worry and a desire to protect her. Part of him was developing affection for her, but he was hesitant to let it come over him. Simply knowing the last time he cared for anyone deeply and affectionately turned into a psychological mess, he wanted to keep some distance with MC. After all, Jihyun only caused her to worry more. He only repaid her with more concern.

Giving her hand a light squeeze, Jihyun whispered to the unconscious girl, “Don't worry about me for now. Focus on gaining strength okay? I'm alright now, so be selfish and recover. I'm not sure if you can hear me, MC, but I'm going out to walk for a bit. I want to regain my strength as soon as I can. Don't do anything dumb while I'm away, got it?”

Jihyun left the room for a while as he went out to walk in the halls of the hospital. To distract himself of the pain, he kept counting the things he saw and examined the paintings hung around the halls as decoration. Truthfully, he was also attempting to ward away his selfish and negative thoughts that made him take the blame for everything. Jumin was right and he had to change. But it was something he had always done, he forgot what it was like to be selfish. Maybe MC could teach him what it would be like.

No not yet. I can't ruin her not like everyone else.

He greeted many other patients walking around in hospital gowns identical to his, making small talk for the time to pass. He made a few laps around the same corridors before feeling exhausted. It was actually harder for him to breathe because the mere expanding and contracting of his abdomen as he did so caused him discomfort. Soon enough, he thought he could return to his room and find something to do. As he was approaching the hallway leading to his room, he heard his name being called out multiple times. Each time it sounded more broken and desperate, so he followed the voice.

It was MC who had just left her room. Her body was still slumped, meaning she was still tired, and her eyes looked around helplessly. She looked lost.

“Jihyun?” MC kept calling out though her head was still spinning. When she woke up, she did not give herself time to adjust. The moment she saw Jihyun’s bed empty, she sprang from her bed and outside the room. Just like someone who had been laid down for a long time and suddenly got dizzy upon standing, MC found herself clinging to her IV pole. She still could not focus her vision on anything so all she could see were blurry blobs of people striding along around her. And not one blob had mint colored hair. As though she were on autopilot, she was not even thinking. It was merely an instinct that she felt; that Jihyun was in danger again. “Jihyun!”

Every pained cry only widened the gash in Jihyun’s heart, and he tried his best to rush to MC. He wished he could yell out her name but that would only physically hurt him more. After turning at one more corner, he found MC appearing like a lost puppy right in front of their room. Before she could yell his name out again, he wrapped her in his embrace, coaxing her into calmness.

“I’m here. I'm okay,” Jihyun sighed and walked her back into the room, guiding her to lay down once again. “Why would you do that, MC? I know you're scared, but think of yourself first okay?”

MC was still so exhausted, and drowsy. Her appearance was still disheveled and her hair was a mess. Dark circles had formed around her eyes and Jihyun was convinced that those were not there before the incident. Her lips were so chapped that they looked white, clearly a sign that she refused to drink water yesterday. Nothing much was said by the feeble girl as she laid down once again, except a few phrase, “Lay down with...me. I need… know… you're here. Okay.”

Her grip was fragile on Jihyun’s shirt and he conceded. Despite wanting to keep distance, it was not an easy feat knowing that he had to somehow repay his debt to her. Careful and aware of the MC’s IV, he laid down in her bed next to her after grabbing his phone that was on the couch. She was quickly drifting back into an unconscious state once again, but just before leaving, she took hold of Jihyun’s hand. Their intertwined hands were laid on his chest right before she drifted off into another world again.

But she could still feel his heartbeat in her hand, and that was enough to let her fall deeper into darkness.

To be continued...

Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt.4 // Pt.5 // Pt. 6

[armyhealth9-blog]

Episode 405 - Robb and Nicki Q&A #9

We're back with Q&A #9 with Robb and Nicki.

Remember to submit your own questions for Robb and Nicki to answer on a future show here: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

Show Notes:

1. [2:06] Kidney Stones

Krisztian says: I've been mostly Paleo for about 5 years now based on one of your piror books.  Overall, it has worked well for me, with one exception.  I started to develop kidney stones on a regular basis.  I finally had them analyzed and they turned out to be calcium oxalate stones.  Upon reading up on this condition, it stems from a high amount of oxalate in the diet.  Unfortunatley, most of the foods I liked on Paleo happen to be super high in oxalate... spinach, nuts, seeds, dark chocolate, sweet potatoes.  The other wammy here is that I was initially avoiding dairy on Paleo which turns out to be worse for stones because one way to counteract high oxalate intake is to match it with high calcium to avoid stone formation.  I've since gone back to eating plenty of cheese and high fat dairy in my diet.

I'm curious if this is a common issue that you've seen and I'm wondering if this is something that might be helped by going to a keto diet.

2. [5:33] Sugar addiction Kathryn says: Hey Robb, I am really hoping you can give me some insight into why I can't seem to fully recover from sugar addiction. I have had a sweet tooth my whole life, but in recent years I have learned that I have a true addiction to sugar. In the last four years or so, I have studied a lot of nutrition, functional medicine and ancestral health perspectives and gone on a strict paleo diet for months at a time. In almost every way, a clean diet of whole foods makes me feel amazing (better sleep, clearer skin, joints and movement feels better, etc.), except, I become very depressed. It's not a mopey, weepy kind of depressed, it's literally a depression of all feeling, like I feel very little at all. But I do sometimes feel really, really irritable, or sometimes bouts of rage that don’t match the situations they arise in. But most of the time, I just feel blah. I thought this would go away after a couple of weeks or even a month or two of eating clean, but it didn't. In happy or exciting moments, it was like I just couldn't feel those emotions fully. I also noticed that I didn't crack jokes like I usually do or feel like being social. All my feelings were dulled. Even sad ones. And when I did fall off the diet, and eat sugar, I immediately felt cheerful again. To me, it seems that the years of sugar abuse have altered my brain enough that without sugar, I can't feel normal emotions anymore. So my question is concerning healing my brain. Is it possible to reverse these effects? The longest I have gone on a strict paleo diet is three months. I admit it was hard to keep going when I just didn't see myself ever feeling happy again. If it's possible to heal my brain and increase its capacity for proper dopamine signaling again, are there certain therapies or supplements that can precipitate and accelerate that healing? Perhaps I am ignorant of some other factor or mechanism at work here. I would be grateful for any insight or help you can give. Thanks for the incredible work you do to bring to light the truth about human health and nutrition.

Notes:

Carb 22: https://carbsyndrome.com/nutraceuticals-new/

STEM Talk Episode 69 (David LeMay): https://www.ihmc.us/stemtalk/episode-69/

3. [11:32] Metabolic Flexibility and Weight Loss/Maintenance Julia says: Robb and Nicki, I am very interested in the concept of metabolic flexibility and eagerly waiting to hear your upcoming lecture on this topic. Intuitively it makes sense that given variation in season and climate that humans would have relied on a menu of macronutrient combinations. My question is: how can developing metabolic flexibility be used as tool for weight loss/maintenance? I have been about 90% ketogenic for the past 28 months; the other 10% would be high carb meals which I have allowed as a metabolically flexible person. I can swing in and out of ketosis with ease; however, I have noticed that if I go through periods of higher carb, it does result in weight gain which is tough to lose even when reentering ketosis. I do crossfit almost daily and practice the 18:6 IF schedule, and I don't notice either of those things affecting my performance. Thanks!

4. [16:31] Low afternoon energy

Laura says: Hi Robb and Nicki, Thank you both for all you do! I've been a huge fan since 2010 and admire your relentless pursuit of the truth when it comes to health and nutrition.

My question is about my extremely low energy in the early afternoons. I know it is a common complaint, but I feel like I've done everything I can to fix the common mistakes  that lead to the afternoon slump, and I also feel like my exhaustion is too extreme to be normal for my age and health status.

I'm 32 years old, I eat low carbish (75-100g most days), have toyed with keto, eat mostly paleo with the addition of some dairy and occasional non gluten grains. I do crossfit 3x/week and spend most of my time chasing my 2 year old around. My sleep is good most of the time, and I do not have any major life stressors that effect me currently. No diagnosed health conditions, no rx meds.

I had bloodwork done recently, and my doctor was very impressed with the results, especially my blood lipids. A1c was 4.8, C-reactive protein 0.8, no thyroid antibodies present. Fasting blood sugar 78. The only things that were slightly out of range were homocysteine (slightly low at 4.6), Uric acid low at 2.4, serum iron slightly high at 148, and my free T3 was a little low at 2.5. Another Doctor years ago prescribed me naturethroid but I never took it.

Ive tried changing my diet in every way imaginable to try to combat a possible hypoglycemic or food sensitivity related slump after lunch.  I've eliminated various foods that people can be sensitive to,and ive even tried more carbs in the morning, but that leads to blood sugar imbalance and cravings all day. As a result, my breakfasts and lunches would fall under the keto umbrella, as I feel better when I eat carbs later in the day.

The only thing that seems to slightly help is not eating at all, but I just get so hungry! My activity level is fairly high and I don't feel like I'm a great candidate for intermittent fasting at this point.

My mom, who has had MS for about 30 years, does not eat all day and only eats dinner because she's says eating makes her tired. I just can't handle not eating at all, and I do feel fatigued and hypoglycemic if I try to skip meals.

Thanks for reading and for all you do!!

5. [23:08] Carb test and ketosis

Carl says: Hey Robb,

I read Wired to Eat while I was pretty deep into a ketotic cycle, so I didn't immediately get to the 7-day carb test. Years of self-experimentation have led me to a relatively low carb (<50g/day) Paleo diet with an occasional 48 hour fast, an occasional ketotic cycle, and a very occasional carb re-feed. Genetic testing revealed some SNPs that predispose me to insulin resistance, and others that positively affect my fat metabolism, reinforcing the fact that I look, feel, and perform better eating in this fashion. I do enjoy my occasional carb binges, so I'd like to perform the carb test in order to whittle my food selections down to those least damaging to my metabolism; but I'm concerned that my postprandial blood glucose readings will be skewed upward because I don't regularly eat more than ten or fifteen grams of effective carbs at a time. Should I bring my daily and per-meal carb intake up for a certain period of time before starting the carb test, or is a 50 gram bolus of carbs small enough to give me a true measure of glucose tolerance for the purpose of food selection? Thanks in advance.

6. [27:30] Creativity and Writing Process

Peter says: Robb,

I hope all is well. I'm a big fan of the Podcast and excited about the Q & A return.  I have a two-parter both within the same general idea.

FIRSTLY: I'm a writer and I am alway curious about how others approach the creative process.  I was curious if you could elaborate on how you approach writing and creativity in regards to balancing an active lifestyle? And how a typical day when writing might look.

For example -- Do you do things like meditate? What time of the day do you write? Where do you write? If you write in the morning how do you reconcile with hanging outside first thing in the morning to get some sun?  If you do Jujutsu around noon and roll for 2 hours how do you write around it?  You've mentioned eating big meals in the morning, if you're in a heavy writing period, is this a habit you stick with? Oh by the way, you have a wife and kids... how do you balance it all?

Do you still do caffeine?  Do you force yourself to take breaks during writing?  How do you avoid sitting for 5/6 hours straight?

Sorry for all the questions, I've just been thinking about this a lot lately as I enter into a career pursuing my passion as a writer while trying to balance and prioritize my health.  As I am sure you can attest, writing can be all consuming if you let it and setting boundaries is vital -- though difficult, especially if you're in "the zone."  So I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[33:18] SECONDLY:  I'd love to get your thoughts on the mechanisms at play when writing or doing anything else that requires intense mental focus in regards to willpower.  Correct me if I am wrong, but it feels like for me, many aspects of writing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle (choosing healthy food over shitty stuff, hitting the gym, walking, etc.) can drain from the same willpower tank (if not just psychologically, and physically -- physiologically as well).  This isn't to say that both can't exist -- rather does one need to be given priority based on ordering of events throughout the day? 

For example, I feel my creativity comes to me first thing in the morning.  If I were to wake up and hit a Metcon first thing, I feel my creativity gets depleted from the shared willpower tank.  I feel this to be true with little things that chip away at my early morning start time as well.  For example, taking the time to make a big healthy breakfast, sitting in the sun, even a short walk, all delay me tapping into when I feel I am creatively primed -- but is it worth the sacrifice of my health?

I was curious if you have any thoughts on when or how you prioritize creativity.  Or maybe this is all just a bunch of bullshit like Robert Rodriguez says -- and our creativity is totally out of our control. 

Anyways, love the show and everything you do.  If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.

Regards, Peter

Source: http://robbwolf.libsyn.com/episode-405-robb-and-nicki-qa-9