#and i want to hold myself accountable

[theminecraftbee]

every time i exit like, an exchange writing period, and i no longer have a deadline, i start to become dizzy with "i should be writing right now--no writing??? i do NOT need to be writing right now??? cannot be right?????? writing??????"

anyway i've decided to use a poll to make you all into people who can create a deadline for me (and also i've started using habitica and want to try to write a LITTLE daily). there's no guarantee this is the one i'll actually go with given i've asked this like SIX TIMES in the past few months but this time it is a poll and also this time i'm trying to start writing daily again, so maybe this time it'll stick, idk??? so:

[garfunkelworld]

tomione ||| peremo ||| virennia

"I'll stay with you while you go," she told him as she kneeled by his head, only halfway revelling in it, because while she'd dreamed of him being dead, given her life to the task of killing him, in that moment, he wasn't a monster anymore, not now. He was just a man, a young man, terrified of what was to become of him…

…"Shh," she said, and his breathing had quickened, coming in short, rapid breaths, and he seemed to be having trouble keeping his eyes open…

…"Goodbye, Tom," she whispered to him.

WIP / Ink for the absolute GOAT Peremo by the wonderful @virennias /// @devdevlin

[reebee05]

RAHHH Im so so excited about this wip ohmygodddd

[dipplinduo]

'SUP, I'M BUSTING DOWN YOUR DOORS, "CAUSE...

YOU GET A FIC UPDATE, YOU GET A FIC UPDATE, YOU ALL GET FIC UPDATES!!

Ladies, Gentlemen, & Folks, may I proudly present:

Chapter 3 of the dipplinshipping fic, The Dichotomy in Our Hearts - "Grey Zone"

This one took the longest for me to write, because oooooh, do we have some vivid immersion in store for you!! I am eternally grateful for the patience with this fic especially - and lemme tell ya...we cooked here.

Chapter 5 of the mintteashipping fic, "Bet You'll Fall in Love With Me": "The Silence"

I wrote a scene (you'll know the one, trust me,) literally 3 times over because I wasn't satisified enough with it. I wanted it to be good. I wanted setup, I wanted the mintteashipping dynamic at full play, and I wanted to make you squeal on the edge of your seat. Lemme know if I delivered. ;)

and last but not least, Chapter 19 of the dipplinshipping fic, "Sweet & Sour Dipplins": "Trials & Tribulations"

Ohohohoho. This one? THIS ONE? Record timing with writing - I don't think I've ever been able to get a chapter done so fast. But lemme tell ya again: I had a vision here, and some choice words had to be said by somebody who totally rocked the chapter. You may feel a litttleeee attacked. :)

Hope you enjoy and lemme know what you think, 'cause more will come your way soon! Why? CAUSE I'M BACK.

[waffleweirdo]

Something about stage girls being an actual separate existence to just humans in revue starlight. How they literally die if they lose the will to continue to perform.

And the characters who are both trapped as stage girls, and those who are liberated by that existence.

How a stage girl is born of passion. Literally born, but can’t be so easily unmade. How their death awaits a waver in courage and stagnation. But even then, they can be reborn.

Their passion. Their love for the stage curses their souls to continue as stage girls. Even when they hate it, and lose sight of it. But simultaneously that curse will never forsake them. Any time they wish it they will be reborn.

Defying even the narrative or laws of the stage to do so.

There are future stage girls. It is not just a promise or a goal but a fact. They will become stage girls. Overcoming their fears and struggles and encountering so many more. It is determined already.

Stage girls are existences defined by the narrative and unbreakable, yet able to destroy the destiny that shackles them if they will it.

It is their destiny. Their fated stage. They cannot stop it. And yet they can defy it all.

Even someone with the power over literal reality and time can’t stop being a stage girl. Even the stage girls who had all their passion for performance stolen from them can’t quit. Even the stage girls who ran away from it all can’t stop being stage girls. Even the stage girls who have become trapped by the loneliness of their existence can’t stop.

Because when the curtain rises they are still stage girls. Selfish. Alone. Afraid. But at the core of their very existence. Beyond any doubts in their hearts they are born to stand on stage.

Always. Always.

It is a curse that none of them can escape. That has reshaped their entire being.

But an existence that allows for them to do anything. To be anyone. To change the world. As long as they face themselves.

Their curse will always provide them the opportunity to stand back up. To confront themselves. To grow. To change. To be reborn.

Such is the existence of stage girls

[br1ghtestlight]

slightly less than six sentence sunday <3

“Are you scared of dying?”

“Come on now, Bobby. You know me,” Lily smiled at him micheviously. “I’m not scared of anything.”

tagging for fun (no pressure) @theangrypomeranian @babsvibes @jimmyjrsmusoems @goldendoodlerlockerlove @keepyourhornson-spyro

[lunarblossomyuehua]

For context, I'm trying to build up my portfolio again as well as get myself working in 3D once more. Figured why not use my current interests as a way to do that?

Currently just thinking of making still dioramas, focusing on environments from the books and maybe some simplified models for placing characters in said scenes.

[mueritos]

Hey. Idk if this is me growing up or just being disillusioned with inter celebs etc. Im a 23 yr old trans man so I grew up and was inspired by chella on the YouTube community. But now I just…don’t like chella man anymore. I feel like…he became an industry plant? Over the pandemic asking fans for money to send to him directly to help others and not showing where the money was going exactly incident as well as just becoming older I noticed he seemed to almost want to become the next Keith haring or basquiat? He almost…now seems very fake? He takes deals with brands to be representation but doesn’t do much to call out certain brands for their faults etc.

Idk anymore

I give Chella credit in that he was one of the few transmen that I looked up while I was young, especially with him being BIPOC. Showing him to my family helped them understand me. But that's where the inspiration kinda stops, because it was painful to be surrounded by years-in-transition trans men online when I was absolutely nowhere I wanted to be. That was a me problem tho. But I also didn't know much about his whole donation incident.

Ig heres what I have to say. It's not great to view other people as your justification of your morals. We don't know how people have had to live or how they live now, we don't know what decisions they have to make, and we dont know what kind of fears or goals they have. Chella is allowed to do whatever he wants with his art or his modelling career, just like how I genuinely believe anyone else in the world is capable of making the right decisions for themselves (even if we dont like those decisions!). Im not really concerned with figuring out if hes an industry plant or a "class traitor" (lol) or even if he's "fake". To be honest, I'm all for BIPOC folks getting their $. Does that mean I enjoy seeing wealthy BIPOC folk perpetuate classism and racism? No. Just cuz someone is succeeding for themselves doesn't mean people cant critique them. I guess what Im saying is I see waaay too many people online take the things they enjoy and the people they follow as projections of their morals: "no! stop [Insert celebrity name] you're being problematic and its makes us fans look bad!" Like....Okay lmfao. People are grown adults and are going to make decisions for themselves. Just because you might enjoy a celebrity does not mean your morals are based on how good of a person they are.

and youre allowed to not like the same things anymore just like how people are allowed to change, for better or for worse. I think within online communities there is way too much pressure on "looking" like a good person versus actually being one...because sometimes BEING a good person makes you look absolutely vile in terms of online spaces/communities love of isolating, removing, and deleting "problematic" (and vulnerable) people from their spaces with no trial, discussion, or attempt at conflict mediation. Yea yea I do think people have every right to be criticized just as they have every right to make whatever decision they want, but what Im trying to get at is to really stop viewing anyone with a platform as someone you can other once they dont meet your standards. This is not the same as denouncing or critiquing someone for really egregious behavior (white supremacy, harrassment, bullying, interpersonal violence). Once you kinda start living by your own morals without needing other people's actions/behaviors to justify/define them, you learn to focus on building connections rather than destroying them.

again, this is a much nuanced topic and you prolly werent expecting me to go into this. but ive grown over the years and have engaged in some nasty and vile mob mentality behavior that i just dont vibe with anymore. im not really the kind of person now to speculate online or publicly what other people are doing or should be doing or whether theyre problematic or not. I don't really care about Chella man or most celebrities rn. People r just gonna be people, and I will always have empathy for those of marginalized identities. Free will, autonomy, and self determination goes both ways, but so does accountability, transformative justice, and reconciliation.

but also like kill ur idols lol

[thoughtfulfangirling]

2024 Reads

Another human invented marker of time has passed moving us from one year to the next. It's a good reason to start over my lists right?! XD 2023's list can be found here! 2024 starts below!

You Made a Fool out of Death with Your Beauty - Awaeke Emezi

Pussypedia: A Comprehensive Guide^ - Zoe Mendelson & Maria Conejo

The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek -Kim Michele Richardson

Meru - S.B. Divya

The Cadaver King and the Country Dentist: A True Story of Injustice in the American South^ by Radley Balko & Tucker Carrington

Watching the Tree: A Chinese Daughter Reflects on Happiness, Tradition, and Spiritual Wisdom^ - Adeline Yen Mah

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong

The Last Days of the Romanovs: Tragedy at Ekaterinburg^ - Helen Rappaport]

Pride and Prejudice* - Jane Austen

Fresh Girl - Jaida Placide

Butts: A Backstory^ - Heather Radke

The Girl Who Chased the Moon - Sarah Addison Allen

The Silent Patient - Alex Michaelides

The Blue Sword - Robin McKinley

In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex^ - Nathaniel Philbrick

A Wicked War: Polk, Clay, Lincoln and the 1846 U.S. Invasion of Mexico^ - Amy S. Greenberg

This Nonviolent Stuff'll Get You Killed: How Guns Made the Civil Rights Movement Possible^ - Charles E. Cobb Jr.

This Is Your Mind on Plants^ - Michael Pollan

The Silent Patient*~ - Alex Michaelides

Finding Me^ - Viola Davis

Wuthering Heights# - Emily Bronte

Exit Strategy~ - Martha Wells

The Girls Who Went Away:^ The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades before Roe V. Wade - Ann Fessler

Bowling Alone:^ The Collapse and Revival of American Community - Robert D. Putnam

Fugitive Telemetry%~ - Martha Wells

The History of Wales^*% - History Nerds

The War on Everyone^% ~- Robert Evans

Searching for Black Confederates:^ The Civil War's Most Persistent Myth - Kevin M. Levin

The Great Influenza:* The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History [2004] by John M. Barry

Network Effect~ - Martha Wells

Zelda Popkin:^ The Life and Times of an American Jewish Woman Writer - Jeremy D Popkin

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon

Medical Apartheid:^ The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to the Present - Harriet A Washington

The Assassination of Fred Hampton:^ How the FBI and the Chicago Police Murdered a Black Panther - Jeffrey Haas

The Death of Vivek Oji - Awaeke Emezi

Mutual Aid:^% Building Solidarity in This Crisis (And the Next) - Dean Spade

Currently reading: Passin' Through, Emma (to fall asleep to), and about to start The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store

Key: * = Reread ^ = Nonfiction ~ = Read with Empty % = Novella #= Doc book club

My goal for 2024 is for 40% of my reads to be nonfiction. I've had two years within the recent past where I managed 20% of my reads to be nonfiction, so I'm aiming to double that. THIS WILL BE HARD FOR ME! Not because I don't enjoy nonfiction but because I enjoy fiction a lot more and have a lot more practice reading it. Haha Also for me, I am in circles where I'm just going to have more awareness of fictional books that I'm likely to enjoy more so than nonfiction. I'm kind of hoping that this years journey will change that a bit too!

Okay, below the cut I'm putting the nonfiction books on my tbr, most of which I have the lovely people of Tumblr to thank for the recommendations!

1968: The Year that Rocked the World

The Age of Wood; Our Most Useful Material...

The Assassination of Fred Hampton

Behind the Scenes: Or, Thirty Years a Slave and Four Years in the...

Being Human:

The Big Oyster: History on the Half Shelf

Birdseye: The Adventures of a Curious Man

Bowling Alone

Brave the Wild: The Untold Story of Two Women Who Mapped...

Butts: A Backstory / Evermore Recommended

The Cadaver Kin and the Country Dentist / Automatuck9

Charity and Sylvia: A Same-Sex Marriage in Early America

Dancing in the Glory of Monsters: The Collapse...

Dear Senthuran

DisneyWar

Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with...

Finding Me (Viola Davis)

The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed...

The Food of a Younger Land

The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women...

The Glass Universe

The Great Hunger: The Story of the Famine...

The Great Influenza

Helping Her Get Free: A Guide for Families and Friends of an Abused Woman

The History of Ireland

The History of Scotland

The History of Wales

How to Hide an Empire: A History of the Greater United States

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

The Indifferent Stars Above

In the Heart of the Sea / ecouterbien

In the Wake of the Plague: The Black Death...

The Indifferent Stars Above

The Last Days of the Romanovs / Automatuck9

Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer

Medical Apartheid: The Dark History of Medical...

Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During the Crisis...

A New World Begins

Nonviolence: The History of a Dangerous...

This Nonviolent Stuff'll Get you Killed / Empty

Radium Girls

The Road to Jonestown

Paper: Paging through History

People's Temple

Pussypedia / Bookstagram Rec

Salt: A World History

Say Nothing

Sea Biscuit: An American legend

Searching for Black Confederates

This is Your Mind on Plants

Unmasking Autism

The Unthinkable: Who Survives when Disaster Strikes - And Why

Watching the Tree / found all by my little self

We Wish to Inform You that Tomorrow we Will be Killed...

A Wicked War: Polk, Clay, Lincoln and the.. / Rose

The Writing of the Gods: The Race to Decode the Rosetta...

I will actually add to this list as I get more recs and whatnot. And I still have some coming which I ordered from Thriftbooks. Once those are here, I'll add those. I'm a little sad there aren't more memoirs, but there's plenty of time for that yet! This is already 37 books, and given lately I've been reading about 70 (nonfiction may slow me down tho), these should give me plenty of ability to reach my 40% goal. Now it's just a matter of if I do it XD

[boombox-fuckboy]

To the anon who asked for pod recs with transfem leads: I am committing now to answering your ask within the week.

[evertidings]

If you hate angst/think people who like angst hate themselves shouldn’t you have not included it with MC getting stabbed??

i’ve already clarified that i don’t hate angst and i don’t think people who like angst hate themselves. it was an inappropriate comment on my part and i apologize. as much as i am a stranger to all of you, you are all also strangers to me. lesson learned.

[ravendruid]

Bime update

Is this thing on?

Hi everyone! I just finished writing chapter 29 of Be In My Eyes, which means I only have chapter 30 (the last for Part 1) left to write.

Since I will be traveling for the rest of the year, and I still have to edit the next seven chapters, I will resume posting chapters on January 11, at 10 am EST, and continue posting one chapter a week (every Thursday at 10 am). Chapter 30 will come out on February 25, which marks one year of Be In My Eyes.

I have plans for part 2, and I'm always open to drabble requests for this AU, so don't fear. This is not the end of BIME. <3

This is it for now. I need to go make sure I packed enough tissues for chapter 30 writing session.

[purrfectlycontent]

smug biyoo

[machineryangel]

my goals for summer 2023 🧿

read lots of books

consume some of the media girlies are crazy about (yellowjackets, succession..etc) sorry i'll be late to the party besties...

get registered into local natatorium

eat! more! greens!!!!!!

reach out to people you haven't been able to for sometime & make more friends & more time for your current friends <3

take daily walks at the beach early in the morning!! bring snacks for pubbies

spend much less time on tumblr (i have like 900+ posts queue'd for 90 days, 10 posts per day so my blog will still be active)

make art!!!! quantity beats quality!!! make art everyday!!! if you're not in the mood for drawing, then write or make clay sculptures!!!

start a substack, try to write at least weekly

travel !! make small trips !!!

[superfluouskeys]

aaaaaahhhh i'm so hype I have my first legit korean lessons today!!!

[mostmagical]

I've realized that I probably won't be able to post the next chapter of Fate, Destiny... A Hamster as soon as I usually would and it kinda kills me to admit it 😭 but I've been sick this past week and it's been hard just to read for more than a few minutes, let alone WRITE.

I'm not letting myself put out a half-assed ending to a fic that means so much to me and introduced me to so many kind people 😭😭