#and i'm not trying to say blah blah people suck nothing is worth it i don't wanna get hurt again raa or edgy shit like that ksdjfhg

[sapsolais]

/

[grabyoursaintsandpray]

I didn't exactly have high hopes going into the film, my expectations were on the floor actually but somehow it still managed to be worse than I thought it would be.

In case anyone wants to watch the awful mess that is Borderlands, I'll put the rest under the cut and instead here's much needed eye bleach in the form of Krieg.

The exposition! There's so much of it, which I knew there would be because you have to explain 5 games worth of lore in a 1:40hr movie.

Tannis basically exists as a character to insert that lore for the audience, usually in an awkward painful to watch manner. I wish I could say well, Tannis is an awkward character so Jamie Lee Curtis nailed it but we didn't get that funny, slightly deranged way of speaking and making people uncomfortable. We just got some really blah lines, delivered very deadpan. Having her in the movie brought nothing to it, you could have cut her out and still had the same product.

Kevin Hart played Kevin Hart in a beret.

I actually stopped thinking of him as Roland and instead as a random 'Crimson Lance' soldier and you know what? It was more enjoyable that way.

Lillith, well yeah. The biggest sin here was her not being a siren? Not until the very end of course, which is so obvious as being the film's end game that I found myself checking the time wondering when would we be getting that 'big' reveal. Of course they don't actually use the word siren, they say Daughter of Eridia instead. Tannis does use the word siren exactly once near the end but it's pretty quickly muttered and never referenced again.

Speaking of sirens, Tina's whole back story is a chaotic mess. For some reason she has siren-like powers because why not I guess? Instead of her actual tragic back story, they kind of spliced her with Angel's instead. A controlling father who uses her powers for his own gain, except Atlas isn't her father because she was made in a lab with eridian blood.

Yeah the whole thing is a lot to follow and I know the lore, so I have no idea what casual movie goers thought of this.

The worst thing about this movie is Tina actually and that sucks to say because she's a great character but not in this. Her lines are delivered without any of that crazy, fun spark. Her jokes aren't funny and don't land and she's just... irritating. We're supposed to care for her, we're supposed to believe that lillith comes to care for her but it's a little hard to swallow.

Claptrap is well Claptrap, which is actually not that bad. His lines are very on point and visually he looks good. However he's a very annoying character and that's the whole point of course but in the games you just bump into him now and again and can generally get away from him, in this movie you are stuck with him and he very quickly grates on your nerves.

My beloved Krieg, at least you looked good. Another character who was really kind of pointless and didn't make any sense being there. Why was Atlas keeping psychos in space jail? Why did Tina know his name and why were they so comfortable with each other. We'll never know and the film didn't think it relevant to tell us.

Surely if Tina needed a bodyguard, the obvious answer would have been Brick? Did nobody working on this film play the games at all?

There's probably a lot that I've already forgotten and I don't intend to watch this film again to remember any of it but the main thing that stuck out to me was

Nobody laughed

At any of it, not a single chuckle was heard throughout the entire film and there must have been at least 15 people in my screening.

It was a painfully unfunny film and I'm now going to play Borderlands 2 and try to wipe it from my memory.

[junepsycho]

do i kill myself to move forward? is the death of my past self the only way to live and move on? i don't want to. i don't want to do anything. i want to be a rock. i want to exist without any consequences. let me be a grain of sand. i hate it. i hate it all. i hate the ugliness and the beauty. i hate the things and the people. all of it. why do I have to love if it's gonna hurt? why do I have to speak if I'm gonna be shut up? i hate everything. living is just pure pain. all kinds of it. physical hurt, emotional pain, headaches, stomachaches, heartaches. every moment of bliss is just that. a moment. then it's gone. never to be seen again. let me die a painless death. let the world be rid of pessimistic ol' me and progress ahead. fuck everything and everyone. it all sucks. fuck me too. the world is shit. i am the world. fuck you too. fuck our feelings. they don't mean shit. nothing makes sense. one man. one fucking man. he's gone and it ruins the lives of so many. i wish i had no connection to anyone. when i die, i die nameless, in peace. no one mourns for me. no one sheds tears over a stupid boy. one man is all it took for me to turn like this. do i write both sides of the story?

his death gave birth to the most contradicting boy ever seen. he hated everything and everyone on the inside, but always helped when someone needed a hand. so kind, so fragile, so raw. he takes words as they come and nothing more. he gets hurt so so so easily. his heart aches for every little thing. imagine loving someone with that aching heart. he grew up around women and girls, but the world expected him to be a man. the only other man in his life didn't like him. hurt people hurt people. he had so much potential, dare i say he still has it. he gives up easily. very easily. his self-worth, confidence, esteem, all of it, thrown out of the window when he was 6. always second place. always the loser. conditioned himself to think nothing was meant for him. god had forsaken him since his birth. cruel cruel god who gives a baby such a shitty mindset. i wanna die. get it over with. no i don't. there's so much i haven't seen yet. he's lazy. always procrastinating. i don't know anymore. words blah blah blah blah blah. mr complains-a-lot whose life isn't bad at all rn, but it used to be and in some strange way, he conditioned himself into thinking a bad life is all he deserves. whose gonna read all of this lol? no way you're actually reading a sad boy trash post on Tumblr. right? other than her, no one else would be able to find this long post.

her. ughh. life was so fucking ughhh and tears and loneliness before she came in. then she comes in with her stupid smile and her stupid eyes and her stupid kind words and her stupid lovely fingers and her stupid personality. out of nowhere btw. when you first waved at me, i thought your blue hair was stupid. funny how your hair's the most beautiful thing i can think of now. you came into my life a sports car. i never realised when you ran me over with your words. i became your friend because you were a girl, and girls were always kinder friends to me then guys. you pushed your way into my life. i didn't realise until later that i was pulling you in too. it's all a hazy memory. when i think of you, i think of your fingers in mine, on that park bench, in february. i was never obsessed with you from the start. it grew over time. like a forest. genuinely, you get prettier day by day. she's my saving grace. the only reason i haven't ruined my life yet. the reason i keep trying and trying and trying to be better. i change myself so much. yet I'm still too flawed to be deserving of her love. when i look at myself, all i see is a broken boy. what does she see? all my ugly emotions, what does she think about them? she isn't mine. i have to get that through my head first. she's not yours. she belongs to her family, her friends, her oh so close friends, to her books and her music and her interests, to herself, and not to you. you're just a resting place she can come to anytime she wants. you're a refreshing sip of water in her marathon. nothing more. and it'll end. whatever little part of her that you think is yours will go too. either by death or by choice. all you have is me. june.

time waits for no one. we'll be the tides of the ocean and the tree roots in no time. just a few hundred million years. I'll get to be nothing. a rock. Stardust.

i will start learning classical piano. to forgive myself. for my death and my rebirth. to realise that the first paragraph is just thoughts in my head. they don't mean nothing. that i can be better. be better. better. be better be better be better be better be better better be better betty bought a bit of butter but the butter was bitter so betty bought some better butter to make the bitter butter better. be fucking better moon.

[soopysoap]

Uh, I read your post about having an 80's au for the foreigen kids. And since I'm a Foreigen kids stan, can you tell me more about it?

HI. ANON? ILY.

They're really just random n messy ideas and i forget how many there are but i'm throwing them all here

so the whole thing takes place in highschool and mainly surrounds the cockswolds cotswolds (mainly mark but rebecca is usually there too)

most of them are seniors, rebecca's a junior

mark is an unpopular nerd, therefore the main character because it's the 80s. so is rebecca but she's not the main character

uhh everyone else is kinda just there

like there are no side characters all the foreign kids are kinda equal focus- wise but the main one is mark i guess

like the leader of their group idk idk

estella is the stereotypical rich popular girl, but she's also a closeted lesbian they're all closeted tbh so she's trying to hide that from her mom. Her mom, instead of being all 'Blah blah blah brrak hearts to fuel my life' or something she's just obsessed with status and how popular Estella is. She's always pleased when Estella has a boyfriend, but it's not often. Basically Estella is more smiley and happy than she usually is, but she's stil usually indifferent. Smiles either when she's genuinely happy or wants something. Most of the time she's deadpan or rolling her eyes

Gaydamien is the rich popular jock, his ego is huge. His dad (since he cant be the son of satan in this one) is the principal of their school. He usually gets what he wants, no matter what. Instead of "You dare [insert something here] to the Prince of Hell????" its that but with "Damien Thorn???" yknow because of his last name. He's been dating Estella to boost his ego, mainly. Doesn't realize he likes guys yet. Estella and Damien hate each other, but everyone believes they're dating because they're too scared to say otherwise. They complain about each other to each other AND to people in private.

Pip is just- he's less of a nerd but more of a kid that's just. There. He isn't nerdy but he definitely isn't popular. At all. He's just a pushover man idk what to tell you. He's usually being bullied. He has a huge crush on Damien, because he got him out of trouble with some other jock like. Once. Always gets giggly around him, it's funny to watch. Also very passive aggressive @ Estella because she's dating him. They have very few classes together, but whenever they do he's always like "hey :) so hows damien" and she responds with "why would i know" and he's like "because??? youre dating him???" and she looks really confused for a second and then is like "OH- Oh yeah okay uh. I don't know. So." and then she starts complaining about him or something and pip is all ":) why not just break up?"

Pip also hates Christophe

Which, speaking of, Christophe is also an annoying egotistical jock who plays football with Damien. Damien and Christophe are best friends. Christophe and Gregory are dating in secret

Gregory is the stereotypical gay kid. No other way to put this. If Ryan Evans from High School Musical had a superiority complex. He's a theatre kid, and takes pride in tha- OH MY GOD. Rachel??? Maybe he's Rachel Berry from Glee??? it would kind of work idk,, ok uh anyway yeah he's always bullied for being openly gay and it sucks but he took defense classes in Yardale (yes he's still a transfer from Yardale, yes he constantly mentions it) so he's able to hold his own. But Christophe usually steps in to get Gregory out of there and tend to his wounds.

Rebeccaaaaaa she's the unpopular girl, just started school and doesnt know shit about it after being homeschooled almost her whole life. Has a little crush on Estella, but Estella "Doesn't" notice her. (Estella just thinks of her as some pretty girl who isnt worth her time) Rebecca usually keeps to herself, is usually gossiped about. Estella never gets involved, but whenever she'd get asked about it, instead of defending Rebecca she just says "I hardly believe any of the rumors. She was homeschooled, not taught in witchcraft or satanisim. Or whatever else everyone's saying. Everyone should really calm themselves, if they were so worried about what people thought of them when Rebecca started going here then they should get that in order first before ruining Rebecca's social life. God. You all have to grow up." So, not necessarily a defense but also not an insult. Rebecca still finds it sweet.

Mark is a neerrrrrrd 80s main character. Minus the popular love interest and yearning 😩 And also if the main character had a god/superiority complex.. he's bullied the most other than Gregory, mostly by Damien n Christophe. Girls don't like him, guys don't like him, he really only had Pip and Rebecca for a while. Pip because he's overly nice to almost everyone and wanted to befriend Mark immediately. Usually during lunch Mark sits with Pip and Rebecca. Mark has to hear about Damien all the time from Pip though, so that's annoying.

Uh I know that Pocket is TECHNICALLY a foreign kid but idk shit about him and dont really think about him but he's Estella's cousin and often hangs out with her since he doesn't really have a friend group. He's also really good friends with Pip. BUT since this is a horror au he dies off early

After theyre all friends some stuff happens yada yada yada Gaymien realizes he's pan and has a crush on Pip, Estella takes Rebecca out for a makeover , Christophe gets severely injured because this is a horror au as well, Damien and Pip make out at some point-

Estella and Rebecca both know that theyre Lesbians but they refuse to admit that they like each other

Kinda thinking of this as if it was stranger things or something so i definitely want there to be like... a series of bad events. everyone thinks everythings cool and fine and whatever and there are moments where our group kinda just get to chill n' be kids. idk i just want there to be a falling out in the group and then they all realize they need each other or something dumb like that

also for some fun chill moments we can have estella and rebecca walking around holding hands and laughing n' stuff bc they love each other idk idk

and after the falling out when they all join together again estella is the first to see some scary stuff but she was also the first to drop everyone except damien and christophe (because of her mother) and so she blames herself and doesnt think she can go to them and just has to deal with it on her own

eventually she tells damien who immediately tells pip who immediately wants to get the group together again

everyone's (the cockswolds) are reluctant to hang out again because of the way they were just forgotten so easily, but they go anyway. because of the horror stuff. they both are pissed at estella though

at some point estella gets badly hurt and rebecca saves her and starts nursing her back to health

estella: why are you... why are you doing this. dont you hate me?

rebecca: i'm doing it because i actually care for you, idiot.

estella: i care for you i just... couldnt...

rebecca: what? spend time with a lowlife like me?

estella: you know thats not what i meant-

they go on like that for a little while longer until they wind up confessing to each other "Because I love you! Is that so fucking hard to believe?!" Would be rebecca's and Estella's would probably be "I don't hate you! You're my favorite person, and I hated having to stop hanging out with you! I love you, okay?!" it would be :) fun

damien and estella come out to each other first. well- damien doesnt really come out he just tells her how confused he is and they hug it out and estella tells him she's a lesbian and they both talk a little while longer and decide that breaking up would be the best idea

thats all i've really figured out for sure,, i have some more ideas but this is. a lot already so. i'm just gonna stop before i write too much 👉👉 anyway, anon ily ty for this. also sidenote: the horror stuff has to do with weird sacrificial cults. i know i have nothing for that and really only talked about how everything starts and drama instead of the interesting stuff but 🥴 i have no defense i just love my kids ok drama is fun

[lie---ability]

for too many times in my life had i been wrong about people. so much that anyone who tries to have anything with me makes me anxious. i even get anxious about my upcoming job at Virus & Partners because new people = chances of any of them hurting me. i have been wrong about people so much that i think it's because i idealize them so much. i mean an example could be us hanging out everyday, do a lot of things together, stay out late together, ditch others for each other, chat each other right after being together the entire day, say i love you and get home safe — and i'd think we're best friends!!! only for her to say we never were. and that she never wanted to be close with someone like me. so it must be me, right? maybe i just fell in love with the thought that she's a great best friend. at the same time i think, no. she was a best friend, she did exist. that version of her existed. or at least did when it was convenient or beneficial to her, but when the time came where it wasn't, she threw me under the bus, become totally different from who i loved. who i proudly said was my best friend. all those months that built up my comfort, trust, attachment — ended up being told as a lie. and if it came from the person herself that they were lies, who am i to say she's just saying that for whatever reason? she said it herself. we weren't best friends even if she said it before. so what was the truth? was i just really stupid and idealistic? or are people just so awful now? it's like i'm this fish in a pond who's so easy to catch with just the right amount of treat. like i'd swim away when you approach but try a bit more and i'd fall for it. attachment issues suck, more so my abandonment issues.

but this post isn't about jodie. this is about my first boyfriend, rikko.

first because rj doesn't count, the fuck? that shit was a joke lol i just got a dose of reality at an early age. no love there at all. who even falls in love at 13? that shit illegal. so yes, rikko is my first boyfriend ♥️ and even though i've dated guys before, he's the only one i ever loved so far. i love him so much. in fact, before i was already starting to think that maybe i'm not capable of love? i mean, i'm aware i'm a mean person. but i didn't think of myself as someone incapable of falling in love. but among the guys i met and dated, ALL OF THEM WERE JUST TO FEED MY EGO. ego ego ego. tell me i'm pretty. keep asking me to go out and let me reject you over and over again. show me how much you wanna take me out on a date again. over and over and all of them were unintended! when i do talk to someone, a part of me tries! maybe this could work? but it kept ending the same way. ego food. which led me to think fuckkk i'm incapable of loving too? what am i here for then tfuck? — until i met rikko! and everything he did and said, i wanted more of it. the more he laughed, the more he cried, i wanted to keep seeing them, even if he laughs/cries for the same reasons over and over. i wanted the things he wanted. i wanted to like the shit he liked, and i did! i hated touch but i love being held by him. he was expressive too! like the other boys! but for some reason, it wasn't ego food. they became credit scores for me. each time he gets a point, it adds up to my reasons why this is it! why this is worth a try! and i struggled and fought hard. the commitment and daddy issues, the anxiety, the fear of abandonment, blah blah and he did and said the right things at the right time he went at the right places, gave the right gifts, promised the right things — all for him to turn out to be just like everybody else. he died months into my life. he couldn't keep up with the character he played, and idk why people keep playing a character on me. jodie played the supportive bff but really wanted to be some sort of main character which i think is rather difficult hence the hurtful betrayal. and then there's rikko, who played the boy i could ever want, but never was that person. he never was that person to his parents and friends, and i thought he would suddenly change for me? that's some boss level pick me girl shit. i love rikko, even now as i type this. i met him january 2020, it's july 29, 2021 today, and i love him so much. but i'm not sure if i should be with him anymore. on principle, morals, self-care, common sense, logic, religion. why? because he died. he died last january 2021. he's no longer the same rikko i fell for. his hands aren't the ones i fought myself to hold. he's not the same person who went all the way from paranaque to cainta for me at 8pm because my dad told me he almost had another baby with someone ON MY BIRTHDAY. he's not the same person i looked at up at Sm Aura thinking he could be the one. and that i belong here, with him. that i love being with him, and he could be other things, but i want to be with him. he didn't know it, but looking at him as he talked about his friends, those things ran in my head. it was the same rikko who got teary eyed when he misunderstood me there at the Sm Aura rooftop, thinking i meant that i was just playing him. the rikko who gave me a necklace for no reason, wore it on me and even had it in a totally unsuspecting case (tea bag) which made the surprise funnier and cuter, is... yep... no longer here. the rikko who kept reminding me i'm redeemable, that i'm not my anxieties, i'm not my bad brain, i'm not my small voice, that rikko is long gone. and still i stayed waiting, making excuses, reasoning out with myself, trusting that he'd come back and funny enough, 7 months in and... he's still gone.

the saddest part is he doesn't want to be like that. or so i think. he tries. i see him trying. i see the efforts. he tries to ask me about my day, about my worries, why i'm anxious, why i'm sad or irritated. he asks me about work, applications and when i'm out with friends or family. he tries to make time for me even now that he prefers valorant over ml with me, i know he tries to play ml with me. he tries to take some time off work to talk to me. he tries to post on social media now, shares my ig stories, joins my tiktoks and get along with my jokes. he tries. i know he does. but that's the thing. he has to try. and maybe those things, he just isn't. and the difference between trying and develop is with development, there is direction. there is progress. with rikko... it's unstable. sometimes he can do this, but the next times not so sure. and as someone anxious with rejection and abandonment issues, inconsistencies are okay, but a lot of them? and major ones? NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT. so many things rikko doesn't know and still he has it in him to say or assume a lot of things about me. one of them is when he said i'm ALWAYS annoyed at him. does he know how many times i get annoyed at things he do? but i don't address all of them not because i don't want to but because i acknowledge that they're not worth the fight or i'm just being hotheaded or immature or maybe inconsiderate. i think first before i act on him because if i learned anything about rikko, emotions have to make sense! which is wrong in the first place but that's who i'm with! but at the times i can't help being tampo, annoyed, or upset, he finds it in him to tell me i'm a l w a y s annoyed? WHEN?!?! i even asked him when and i know he realized it but still he fell stubborn to his pride. does he also know that his gifts don't make me kilig anymore? they just relieve me at this point which is sad!!! fucking sad!!! why? for example, for my virtual college graduation i was getting anxious few days before because i'm worried he won't give me anything or do something for me which will surely trigger my ~neglected issues~ and if i do get triggered, instead of addressing and being there for me, instead of making it up to me, he'd get mad! he'd make me feel that i'm asking for so much, for the impossible, all while i see it happen to people. i see other dudes give their girlfriends things without occasion. i see them try to like the things their girlfriends like, even embarrassing ones that she posts on social media. i see men constantly expressing their love for their gfs, for the person they asked to commit to them. all while i have one who would call me demanding, needy and exhausting. imagine? lol i get anxious he won't fulfill me not because i'd get sad but because he'll get mad when i get upset. he'd make me feel awful and remind me of the reason why we should end. and i hate that. i'm fighting so hard to take it off my mind, i hate thinking that we're incompatible, unhappy and that we're just trying to revive this love we have for each other. that love really isn't enough, even for us. so when he got me this bouquet for graduation, i was 95% relieved and 5% kilig because awwwww but more importantly, I WON'T BE TAMPO WHICH MEANS I WON'T HAVE TO HIDE AND HE WON'T HAVE TO GET ANNOYED AT ME BEING UPSET! as i type this all the more i feel bad because it's so clear i shouldn't be with him anymore. it hurts each time it crosses my mind. i really see rikko as the love of my life. and idk why. because he shouldn't be. the love of your life should be someone who makes you laugh, makes you strong but can also let you cry. the love of your life is the one who holds you on your way out of dark times. the love of your life is the one who corrects you in ways that won't make you feel bad, but in ways that make you feel cared for. that he's telling you so out of concern, not because he thinks you're a difficult sick mental person who needs an on-call therapist and an attending nurse. the love of your life should be the person who makes you cry the least.

but he doesn't deserve it also. maybe he's not ready to be in a relationship just yet. and there was no harm in trying. in fact i'm happy he tried because if he hadn't added me on facebook and hit up on instagram, i would have never known what love was like. i would also have never known how fun and exciting it is to be in love. it's so nice actually! to lie down with someone and just know they'll be there when you wake up and even if you do wake up in the middle of the night, you're safe with them. and no matter what you look like in the morning or how loud you snore or how stretched you are in bed, you are loved by this person next to you. and they chose to sleep with you too. to be as vulnerable as you are. and i loved that with rikko. we sleep together, we wake up in between sleep just to look for each other's cheeks, we shower together, we do weird shower dances, we have secret baby things, and a lot more things that you would think from here on meant forever. because these things, how could you ever try them again with someone else? because from where i am right now I HATE THE THOUGHT OF THOSE WITH ANYONE WHO'S NOT RIKKO. but stay with him for what? for what at this point? i'm not God. i'm just an anxious person with daddy issues who has enough money hunger and dreams plus a mom, aunts and 1 friend who loves rikko so much. i can't change him. and i shouldn't.

[rockinem777]

idk how to start but I'm feeling like we gonna talk about what if you could've fucked around and found out. Lmao

So I'd imagine it'd start slightly different. Way less comfortable around each other and a lot angrier. Plot twist I just realized you might have more reasons to be madder at me than you . . . Oops. 😭😵‍💫😆😄🤷

Oh well

But so you'd basically be a whole piece of furniture while here. Idk why I miss you cause there wouldn't be anything enjoyable or new happening.

But better than being alone for 10+ days straight. Blah blah blah.

But I'd get whiny and you'd have to kiss me cause you know ill cry if you refuse to love me. It's Only cause I love you I promise you so. You'll miss me and hold me but refuse to connect with me like you used to causing me to feel like I have to try harder.

I think it's the way you hold me face and kiss me slowly. The way you only look at me when you want to but usually when I catch you looking at me it surprises me and makes my mind wander. . . Too far away to explain. But sometimes when I open my eyes and we're being deeply passionate enough to give me butterflies it makes me do crazy things. . .

Like accidentally drool/spit/choke/lose what's been building up in my mouth from sucking on your fingers while you hold me exactly where and how you want me and it's got me too wound up to try not to ride on that feeling of wanting more. But definitely tried not to drip all the way out my mouth into yours while you had me sitting up on top. I was so embarrassed I felt so bad and kinda didn't know how it happened cause you're the only one whose ever had me slipping up like that. It wasa big oh no feeling till you told me it's exactly what you wanted to happen. . . How you guys it on purpose. You wanted to make me lose control idunno.

But I liked it. Too bad you stay on some weak hater time blah. But I was trying to figure out what it would be like if you'd come to see me Friday. What a bummer you didn't wanna find out cause I just wanted you to get this bag out my house.

Wouldn't gaf if you wouldn't have stayed whatever. Just sick of feeling responsible for a bunch of obnoxious chatter that ain't even worth it tbh. But you like wall shit like that. You're a simp it's👍👍👍.

But my Attitude about it wouldn't change. It still hasn't. I don't wanna fuck with it. Doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy your company regardless just cause I used to feel closer to you than anyone. Fuck it tho.

Just wanted to catch the real vibe from you personally cause people🗣️🗣️🗣️ but that don't mean it's how I should interpret it. Either way I'm not coming back now rejection is more than enough to never have my heart again.

Obviously you don't want it anyway cause it's not like you've said anything about it much less tried lmao fuck it forgotten I wanted to feel hot like turned in beyond that but I can't even get tingle without thinking of you but it's not long until it makes me want to cry way more than anything else.

Needless to say you may have ruined my whole self balance as far as confidence and healthy sexual excitement like no not stuck more of a destruction kinda feel ruined from the inside out

I'm not thinking about feelings with you b. It's all these negative feelings about myself pent up inside me now.

And it just gets worse.

The panic that comes when someone tries to hug me with a little too much anticipation. Or feeling nauseous everytime I hear a few too many compliments or how much some old creepy fuck wants to do weird kinky but it's awful cause I swear they wanna lay me down which is so much worse just imagine one of these men talking about caressing me. Holding me. Kissing me like it Pedro wanting to literally shove his tongue down my throat. I can't handle the way My face gets stuck from not being able to cry but feeling it building up. It's like climatic like sex with crying only it finally gets to that peak and then nothinn. Nothing good at least. Only bad feelings.

You don't know that I only talked to you about my feelings not that you were ever listening apparently.

Maybe I need to hurry up and accept it and move on cause what I thought was dead wrong.

Anyway gtg fuck this letter too bro🤾

[latinalesbi]

is that possible to have that pic from Stef's phone ? Where is the pic coming from ? I know I'm asking weird questions but I remember Stef and Lena were in that position one day before Stef had to go somewhere with Jenna (and they met Monte in that lesbian place).

Yeah it was the same day she went with Jenna. There’s no way she would have that pic without security camera. So we came up with a twitter theory that Mariana sneaks around taking pics of her moms because she ships them so much!

Anonymous said:                                                                     

We need to have more Stef and Lena in season 5. Did the writers say anything about them yet ?

Anonymous said:                                                                      what annoys me the most is that they always talk about how Lena and Stef are the core of the show and how much they love them etc but don't show it. How do they explain the lack of kisses? I hope they read all the responses on twitter and change something in season 5. I need more Momma love            

Actually, nope. None of the interviews that Peter gave talked about them at all. Here’s a stock answer Joanna gave today:

More challenges, more love, deeper commitment...

She seemed to think that Stef and Lena only kissing once a season was “realistic”

I do agree with this, my wife and I try to b more like Stef&Lena!  Maybe I'm making it too real & should be more aspirational!

I guess in her world of marriage, people don’t kiss. I’d like to reassure young lesbians that I have been married for almost 9 years, together for almost 12 and today we have kissed about 4 times.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Hopefully in season 5. We get to see Callie grow and stop doing stupid things. She's much more than that. Does she not think she's worth it ? Would she care if she died ? It doesn't seem like it. Callie doesn't need jail she needs help but they don't see it like that. Would you say she's mentally unstable ?             

Honestly, like I don’t care about Callie or what motivates her at this point.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

I havent written ff in such a long time but I need a new project. If I wrote some stef and Lena stuff would you read it? If so, if you and your followers wanna give me some prompts that would be super helpful. (anon as my blog is not fandom related)             

Oh yes, this is a good idea! I love this, guys send me prompts and I’ll post them for this anon. I’d like some early days fic, meeting the parents, something funny.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

So one thing we got from the vow renewal: Lena is totally a scratcher! Did you see her digging her nails in Stefs back?!?

Hell yes she is! God bless Lena.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

Do you think that one day the Fosters writers will say well maybe our ratings suck because their stories suck? Oh well at least we have Adams Foster fanfic still. Do the writers feel salty that some people on ff write better for S&L than them? But then again, some of the shittiest storylines this season can be matched to the very worst of ff fanfic, so maybe they pluck stories from that? End rant! Sorry             

Sadly for Freeform, their ratings don’t “suck.” I mean ep 419 was the worst ever, but 420 picked it up. I have read the shittiest Stef/Callie fanfic where Callie needs to be rescued but I tell you, nothing was as bad as SVU Mission Bay. Ugh, horrible.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

Wow, did you read Lucy Hallowell's recap of the Fosters' finale for Autostraddle.   If you all have not, go read it, it is very interesting in the last part what she saids.             

As my middle schoolers would say, savage. Best part, I know they read it, between her and vulture I hope they heard because the show is insufferable in its current state. It’s something I put up with.

Anonymous said:                                                                    

 Do you have the links to where Teri was on Mark in the morning

There are 2, The earlier one is more interesting, though both are intolerable because of Mark.

one and two.

Anonymous said:                                                                      "Mariana who self invited her bio daddy to a house she doesn’t pay a single bill for, that Mariana? Yeah that Mariana is unlikable."  I agree with what you said.  But I blame the parents, they can say no. No way my parents, pretty sure other parents also, would have given their 16 year old kid permission to have sex in their room/house.  The reason given (for safety, since they will anyway & jesus' tbi, blah, blah) is bs. Season 5 hope there are better parenting decisions, much better stories.  

Well they can’t have Stef and Lena come off as mean, people hit the roof, and all these teens think Robert and Gabe walk on water because” men. And god forbid the lesbians go off against men.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

Do you think that The Writers don't know that nobody cares about Callie's storyline ? I mean maybe they don't care but no wonder why people are saying they won't watch the show anymore.

I do think they think we are all hanging on pins and needles over her. We all knew she was going to be trafficked. We all knew it, everyone knows she’s not going to jail. This is all very stupid.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

So your saying Stef for Callie into this mess with the pimp. Do you think we will see Lena angry at Stef ? Or she might get blamed by one of her teens.             

Yes, Stef should not have gotten her involved or let her give her the telephone and whatever else. It made her look like a good cop but she was a bad mother. Callie is not to be encouraged in this manner. Lena should be angry at Stef over this.