#and ianite isn’t just ‘good’ balance! she isn’t there to make sure the good guys have their win

[fagtainsparklez]

Icarus. What's the difference between Mianite (series name), Dianite (???? Diorite?) and Ianite

okay okay late answer but here we go.

the series is called mianite, but that’s technically shorthand for “realm of mianite”. mianite is the name of their land/world, loosely, at least that’s how the season 1 lands are commonly referred to.

mianite, however, is also a god. the god of the overworld, order, and creation. he has two siblings: dianite and ianite. dianite is the god of the nether, chaos, and destruction. ianite is the goddess of the end, justice, and balance!

[ur-fav-alien]

Mianite Stuff

So I’m not sure if this ‘drama’ has been resolved but I just wanted to talk about it because I have to stick my nose in everything alksdfj;klasd.  (EDIT!! From what I know, someone apart of the Mianite fandom said that “all the gods are gay” then a member of the Mianite BTS/writer team basically endorsed this. Later on after some questions on the matter a BTS/writer team member {keeping their identity private for safety but you can easily find} out right said that “Mianite is straight, Dianite is gay, and Ianite is bi” they weren’t implying shit they down right said it. I think they have now back tracked on the statement but people should still know why it’s harmful)

So as most of the fandom headcanons Ianite and Dianite as either gay or bi but I know that some people ship Mianite and Karl together so that would basically headcanon Mianite as gay or bi (I’m not trying to say that the gods could be anything else but these are the most common headcanons). This series is made to be an open book from what we’ve seen, we can ‘bend’ the characters how we want. This fandom is built off of headcanons of the characters we see, including Captain Sparklez, Syndicate, and Karl. I mean I even have headcanons for the series and I’ve made my own personal timeline from my headcanons. If the writers of the series start making it ‘stricter’ then it won’t be as fun in my opinion, yes the series is starting to have a script when it comes to the events but those are the events not the ‘personal’ lives or ‘personal’ events that belong the characters. If the writers start making so called scripts for the ‘personal’ events then it won’t be as fun is what I’m trying to say. If they have a set sexuality, yes that can be great for LGBTQ+ representation but that’s also kinda taking away the open bookness of the series (please tell me if you disagree with this and tell me why so I can possibly change my opinion.)

Now let’s talk on what the BTS member/writer said about the LGBTQ+ representation of the characters. Basically what they said is that Mianite is straight, Ianite is bi, and Dianite is gay now at first you may not see it as harmful but if you look at it closer it really is. Mianite is the ‘good’ god as seen in many people’s eyes, he is the god of everything order and most of the time ‘order’ is a good thing so that would make him a ‘good’ god. Saying that Mianite is straight is like saying the Jesus was straight, Jesus was the ‘good’ god and many people think that he is straight all though there are many signs that he was not, you may not mean it but by saying that ‘good’ god is straight is kinda implying that good people are always straight when that is not true. Making Ianite bi isn’t inherently wrong but she is the goddess of ‘balance’, many people sadly believe that bisexuality is 50/50, it’s balance. Bisexuality is far from 50/50 as bisexuality can mean that you are attracted to more than one(1) gender, making the goddess of balance, which is associated with two things, is kinda like saying that bisexuality is 50/50 you may not mean that but that is sadly the underlying tone. Now I think might be the worst one is Dianite, Dianite is seen as a gay man and there are underlying tones that this man is gay (I’m not exactly sure if it’s been completely confirmed but I know nothing of it). Dianite is the ‘evil’ god, he’s the king of the nether and basically the god of all evil, his skin is red, he has large horns, and his eyes are white basically all things you would make an evil demon. Making the evil god gay is kinda super wrong, now you can have gay villains, that is fine and give more inclusivity but it’s really only okay if the entire cast is full of diversity but sadly the main cast is three white men who are straight (at least two- no maybe... maybe Karl is the only straight one idk what’s going on with Jordan and Tom kdsjf;klajsd) so making the only gay (homosexual) god the EVIL god sadly has underlying homophobic tones. 

I think the greatest thing that the person and BTS member/writer could do is simply, let the fandom have the freedom of letting their favorite characters have their own sexuality. I think what the BTS member/writer could’ve said is that, the gods care more about personality (or in Dianite’s case attractiveness *cough cough* Sparklez *cough cough*) than gender or sex, that would give the BTS member/writer the freedom to tell the fandom that the characters aren’t necessarily part of the heteorsexual community while also letting the fandom have the freedom of making the gods whatever sexuality they wanted. Again this is all in my own opinion and I would love to hear your guys’ opinion on the matter!

(EDIT #2 “But on Oct 13, some person was saying really rude things to (writer) basically saying she's "afraid of making confirmed sexualities" for characters. And calling her a bad writer for it, etc. And then (writer) later said the Gods sexualities. So I think it really was a "fine, you want confirmation? Here." Kind of thing.” So I’m guessing that this whole ordeal was basically out of spite? If so I kinda get it, don’t harass people on making a certain character a sexuality, that’s basically was fanfic is for. I know it sucks that you have to rely on just fanfic to have your favorite character have it’s headcanoned sexuality but sometimes bad things can happen when you try and force headcanons onto to characters. This {I guess} could’ve all been avoided if the fandom didn’t harass the writer but I still want people to know that even though this was out of spite it’s still a really bad thing to say. Again the writer could’ve easily said that they were all pansexual {from what I understand pansexual is a “gender/sex blind” sexuality where you only really care about personality. Please inform me if I am not correct} so people would be happy with some representation.)

So I guess the TL;DR is there was this person who was in the Mianite fandom that said that all the gods were gay and that sparked a small controversy in the fandom (for a good reason) after that a mianite BTS member/writer basically endorsed that by saying that Mianite is straight, Ianite is bi, and Dianite is gay, in my opinion the BTS member/writer should’ve just said that the gods care more for personality/attractiveness then gender and/or sex because that would give both the BTS member/writer and the fandom to do whatever they wanted with the characters sexuality.        

[lady-spieroles]

The Fears of a Goddess Pt 2

Part 2 of my Dark! Ianite fic

Part 1 

Part 3 

Enjoy and as always

Find me on Ao3:

Selenejessabelle12626 for the tame stuff

Lady-Spieroles for the less tame stuff ;)

~

“Hey Karl?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You seen Jordan around?”

“Not today I haven’t. Don’t think I saw him yesterday either. Why do ya ask?” 

“Just haven’t seen him. Bit weird. Lemme know if you see him.”

“Will do.” Karl replied as Tom emerged from his mine, pickaxe slung over his shoulder. He hadn’t seen Jordan in a few days, hadn’t heard from him either aside from one passing message about anyone knowing a librarian who traded rare books. He and Karl had both responded with negatives and heard nothing from Jordan since. 

Tom nearly fell over when he stepped into his house because Dianite was there, waiting for him. He’d not seen Dianite in weeks, maybe even months (he’d lost track of the days ages ago). In an instant he inclined his head to the God. “Dianite.” 

“Syndicate. I am glad to see my trust in you was not misplaced.” The God greeted, sounding pleased. “And you did as I asked?” 

“Yes. They think I serve Ianite. Jordan wasn’t happy about it but Ianite didn’t seem to mind. Did you find something about her? She’s possessed by the Shadow thing isn’t she?” 

“Unfortunately no, my sister has done far too good a job at hiding her motivations. At least for now. I have no idea about the Shadows, Mianite has taken it upon himself to lead the charge on that research. But that is not what I’ve come to speak to you about. Have you seen The Captain recently?” 

“Haven’t seen him in a while, neither has Karl. Why?” Maybe it was time to start worrying about Jordan if even Dianite was trying to find him. 

“Hmm, I was afraid you’d say that. I think it’s time we find him.” 

Tom led the way to Jordan’s island, searching the entire tower for the Captain. There was no sign of him but there was evidence that he’d been there recently. His cats all had food, the brewing stands had bottles and actively burning blaze powder, the extra food in his chests was still fresh. He’d possibly even been home today and had just stepped out for a moment. 

“I’ll go check the temple.” Tom suggested, assuming Dianite either couldn’t or wouldn’t set foot in it. As Tom swam to the temple entrance he realized it’d been a while since he’d been here, not since ‘swearing his loyalty’ to Ianite. It looked mostly the same except that now, there was a doorway in the back corner. When had Jordan done that? And what was it? A secret room? If so it wasn’t very well hidden. He’d seen better from Jordan before. 

Curiously, Tom approached. Beyond the veil of water, he saw a hallway that went in and behind the temple. A glow of light came from around the corner and as he stepped through the door he could hear the murmur of voices. There was a button set on the wall just inside and he realized that this was indeed a secret room, the door just had not been shut behind the last person who’d entered. He wasn’t surprised by the existence of a secret room from Jordan, Gods knew the man could be paranoid about people stealing his stuff, but they'd established somewhat of a gentleman’s agreement in this world against blatant thievery, so it didn’t really make sense for him to have one anyway. 

Tom kept his steps light as he went down the hall, listening carefully. “...was the author of a lot the books in Ruxomar, in that world he was-” when he rounded the corner Tom was surprised to see not a vault but some sort of library. Sparklez was sat at a desk with Ianite leaning over his shoulder, both looking at something on the desk, their backs to the door. “-their Father. If I’m right, he has a counterpart here, like we did there.” 

Tom backed away into the shadows when Jordan looked up. “My vision.” Ianite said and Jordan nodded in agreement. What were they talking about? Tom admittedly hadn’t paid much attention to a lot of what was going on in the other world but he did vaguely remember what Jordan was talking about. Some bloke whose name they’d heard referenced pretty often when it came to the history of the realm. World Historian or something like that. But he could have sworn that World Historian had been the guy that had attacked them after they’d revived Dianite. Jordan surely knew that, why was he looking for him? 

“We just need to find where he is.” 

“You never cease to amaze, My Champion.” Ianite said, squeezing his shoulder as she stood up fully. “I’ll see what I can find and bring back to you. Thank you.” 

“Of course Milady, anything.” She disappeared a moment later without any fanfare. This was Tom’s chance to talk to Jordan alone. And maybe figure out just what the hell was going on. 

He backed down the hall to the doorway, ducking through the veil of water quickly then back in once more. “Eh Jordan? You in here?” He called down the hallway, as though he’d only just found this. He heard the fluttering of paper and the scrape of the chair on the stone brick floor. He pushed the button to seal the door, the sound of pistons firing echoing down the hall. “Whoa.” He said, loud enough that Jordan would be able to hear. 

“Uh, yeah.” Jordan replied, maybe realizing that Tom wasn’t about to just leave. At his acknowledgement, Tom ventured down the hall. When he rounded the corner he poured the appropriate amount of awe and teasing into his expression and voice.

“Jordan you sneaky Jordan you, what is this? Fancy little secret library?” Jordan was honestly quite a talented builder. He stuck to basic builds most of the time but when he went all out, boy did he go all out. The temple was right pretty and this little study library thing was something out of a wizard’s castle. 

Sparklez didn’t look too happy to see him, his expression carefully neutral. Clearly this was intended to be something Tom wasn’t supposed to find. “Just something I built.” 

“Why put it here? Did Ianite ask you to?”

“I’m working on something for her. It just made sense to put it down here.” He replied with a shrug. 

“What’s she got you working on?” Tom asked as he looked around, highly aware of the way Jordan hesitated in replying. 

“Just some stuff about the prophecy and all that.” 

“C’mon Sparklez, you can tell me. We’re both Team Ianite.” 

Jordan scoffed a bitter sort of laugh. “Yeah, you Team Ianite.” 

Tom frowned “I am. I swore it and everything.” 

“Sure Tom, whatever you say.” He rolled his eyes and turned back to the desk, pushing papers aside. 

“I am. I told you. I want there to be balance.” Something in Jordan’s posture stiffened for a moment, his hands pausing in their search for whatever he was trying to find. “That’s the point isn’t it, us coming back here? To get the Gods all balanced and strong or something like that?” 

Jordan turned back but something in his eyes had hardened, instinctually Tom took a step back. “And how are we supposed to do that if you’re trying to join my team? Each of us has to help a God, that’s what the prophecy said. Karl with Mianite, Me with Ianite, and you with Dianite. So stop this stupid game and just admit you’re up to something!” Tom took another step back, he’d not seen Sparklez angry like that for a while. Not since a prank he and Karl had pulled had gotten a bit out of hand and set his chicken pen on fire. But Tom had never been one to back down, he could give as good as he got. 

“Me up to something?! I’m not the one that’s been hiding for a week doing all sorts of shady stuff.” 

“It’s research!” 

“For what?! There’s no magic in this world Sparklez.  Research is not an excuse! What’s she got you doing?!” He didn’t mean the reference to Ianite to come out as sharply as it did, suspicion accidentally leaking into his words. Sparklez was far too clever to not pick up on it, his eyes narrowing beneath his glasses. 

“I am doing the job we are supposed to be doing, helping the Gods become as strong as possible.” His voice was as cold as ice, his eyes boring into Tom’s. If Tom were a different man he’d have bit his tongue and held back the scathing remarks he so badly wanted to say. He would have taken a deep breath and calmly deescalated this entire thing. Unfortunately, he was Dianite’s Champion for a reason and defusing conflict was simply not something he did.

He took two steps towards Jordan, getting entirely in his personal space, something he knew the man hated and let his words spill like lava. “Fat lot of good that will that do when Dianite locks her up anyway.” He was shocked when Sparklez shoved him back, his feet slipping under him on the damp stone. He fell on his ass and Jordan wasted no time stalking over and looming above him. He’d drawn his bow, leveling a nocked arrow at Tom. He always forgot how scarily quick a draw Sparklez was. 

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” 

“What are you talking about? You can’t change the future! We agreed we wouldn’t!” He wouldn’t dare. Sparklez had been the one to bring it up in the first place, what damage they could cause if they weren’t careful. He wouldn’t just do it anyway, not after he was so adamant about just letting things happen as they should.  

“Plans change.”

So that’s what they were planning then. He wanted to change the future. Keep Dianite from locking Ianite up if Tom had to guess. The real question was, who was the mastermind behind the plan? It was certainly in Sparklez’ character to stand up for Ianite but he’d known what would happen to her when he’d told Tom to abandon any ideas of changing the future. But already Dianite and Mianite both had their suspicions about their sister. Maybe she’d managed to convince Sparklez to help her change her fate? Either way he had to talk to Dianite. 

“Sparklez-” 

“I think it’s time for you to go Tom.” He interrupted, taking a half step back so Tom could get to his feet. He let his bowstring slacken but didn’t remove the arrow. 

“Jordan.” Tom pleaded. “Please. Think about this. You said it yourself, we were sent back to help the Gods.” 

“And I am. With my help, Ianite won’t have to suffer. Now, leave. Go back to Dianite.” 

“Jordan please.”

He drew back the bowstring once more, the tip of the arrow pointed directly at Tom’s chest. “Leave Tom.”

‘What are you doing Sparklez?’ “Fine.” He raised his hands in a show of surrender then backed out of the room, only turning his back to Jordan once he rounded the corner. The moment he was out of Jordan’s sightline, he broke into a sprint, smashing the button to open the door and all but diving into the water. He had to get to Dianite and tell him what was going on before Jordan could inform Ianite of their argument. 

He swam as fast he could back to the surface, shouting for Dianite the moment his head was above water. His God appeared above the water a fraction of a second later. Before he could say anything, Tom was already speaking. “They’re doing something. Trying to change the future, find a guy called World Historian, or at least his alternate self in this world. He was bad news when we saw him before, can’t imagine he’ll be much better now. And-”

“Calm yourself Syndicate. You’ve done well to learn this.” Dianite interrupted. He gestured and then they were both standing back on Tom’s island. “It’s not what I expected of her but unfortunately I can’t say I’m surprised. She’s never been particularly happy with the fate our Mother prophesied for her.” He put a hand to his chin in a thoughtful expression. Tom wasn’t sure what to do, he couldn’t do anything to a Goddess and Jordan was clearly off the deep end along with her. “I must confer with Mianite on this development. For now, collect the other one and see if you can do something to keep the Captain occupied and away from my Sister. We will handle her.” 

Tom nodded and then fell to one knee, inclining his head. “I request to return to your service My Lord.” 

“Very Well.” Tom felt the sudden heat of a flaming blade above his shoulder. “Syndicate, do you swear your loyalty to me?” 

“I do solemnly swear my fealty, mind, body and soul to you and your cause My Lord Dianite. From this breath until my last, I am yours to command.” He did not need the prompting of the ceremony, he knew the words by heart. He felt the touch of the blade upon each shoulder and then the strange, shimmering void like feeling that was the hallmark of Ianite’s influence disappeared. In its place, the comforting and familiar heat of Dianite’s infernal fire returned, rushing through his veins like wildfire. 

“Rise my Champion. In return for your loyalty, I present you with this blade.” Dianite said, presenting the hilt of the blade he’d used to Tom. The moment he took it, Tom could feel the strength it was imbued with. It shined with enchantments, he did not even bother asking what they were, the power that poured off the weapon was plenty to assure him of its strength. 

“Perhaps with this, you may stand a chance at surviving a confrontation with Ianite’s Champion.” 

And then Tom was alone. 

Ok. Somehow he had to keep Jordan’s attention as long as possible, after the huge fight they’d just had. Jordan, who was highly unlikely to want to see Tom, let alone spend an extended amount of time with him especially now that Tom knew what he was planning. The friendly option wasn’t going to work this time. Tom took a deep breath and entered his home, opening the chest that contained his valuables. If the friendly option wasn’t going to work, he had no choice but to go with the nuclear option. From his chest he pulled the stack of TNT he’d been slowly adding to for weeks in case it ever was needed. Now seemed as good a time as any. Nothing like a classic rampant bit of destruction to get and keep Sparklez attention. 

He couldn’t do it alone though. Jordan would certainly catch him far too quickly for the risk to be worth it. He needed Karl’s help. 

“Karl If I asked you to help me do something extremely dangerous and stupid, would you?” He asked on a private communicator channel. 

He began to sort through his inventory, putting his weapons in easy reach, removing useless blocks and items. He had a few leftover potions that he pocketed and made sure he had plenty of food. There was a chance he could be on the run for days if he got Sparklez mad enough. It’d happened in the old world, after Tom had set fire to Sparklez tree. It'd been a terrifying and anxiety-inducing few days. But he’d do it again now if that’s what it took to stop him and Ianite from changing the future. 

“Uh, possibly. Depends on what it is.” Karl replied. 

“I’m going to blow up Sparklez island.”

“Why the hell would you do that?! Aren’t you the one who told me not to mess with him like that? Something about us not standing a chance if he ever really went after us?” He was right. Tom had warned Karl early on against pranking Jordan too badly. 

Tom knew when he was outmatched and Jordan made it a hobby to make the strongest weapons and armor just in case something ever went down. He’d been that way since the Modestep siege. His philosophy had quickly gone from neutrality to being the most geared out once he realized that they were reluctant to attack someone with the bigger weapons. It’d only gotten worse in Ruxomar. With all that technology, Jordan had become practically invulnerable within a few days. Tom still to this day wasn’t sure how he’d managed to make his ‘Bow of Balance’ as strong as he had. Not to mention that force field or the ‘Price of Betrayal’ sword. At least in this world he didn’t have access to any of those but still, who knew what enchantments his weapons had? 

“I know. And that’s why I need your help. He and Ianite have gone mad. Dianite needs me to keep Sparklez busy while he and Mianite take care of Ianite but if I go alone he’ll probably kill me in minutes. I need you to help me run interference.” 

Karl said nothing for a long moment and Tom sighed. He was asking a lot of Karl, risking his life to help him do this, but what other choice did he have?

“And you’re sure about this?” 

“No.” Tom admitted “But I really don’t have a better plan.” 

“Alright then. What do you need from me?” 

~

They flew over to Jordan’s island fully decked out in their strongest armor and weapons. It may have been a bit overkill because c’mon, it’s Jordan, but right now Tom wasn’t sure Jordan wouldn’t attack them outright. He’d threatened him seriously enough before. He was behaving out of the ordinary for sure, oddly enough that Tom wasn’t willing to say he knew what was going through his head. 

“You go in through the top, I’ll go in from down here. Place the TNT but don’t light it. I don’t want to destroy more than we need to to get his attention.” Karl has a less than stealthy running stop of a landing on the roof but it’s leagues better than smashing into the wall. He waved down to acknowledge he was ready and with sword drawn, Tom entered the tower. 

They clear the tower without a sign of Jordan, meeting up on the floor he’d dedicated to potion work. “Anything?” Tom asked. He’d placed his TNT sparingly, but strategically. Aiming for structural damage over actual brutality. 

“No sign of him. But the upper floors are mostly empty, not sure why he built them to be honest.” 

“He builds preemptively. Decides what to do with a room after he’s already built it. He might be down in the temple still, not sure if he’d even hear it if he’s in that secret room.”

“Outside then? I don’t really want to be the one to blow up his temple.” 

“Won’t work underwater anyway.”  They head outside and scatter the leftover TNT around his farms. It’s possible Jordan isn’t here, thought Tom’s not really sure where he would have gone. The Nether wouldn’t do much for him and the End was just, the End. There was nothing there to begin with. 

Tom dove down into the Temple but again found no evidence that Jordan was still around. He returned to the surface as Karl was climbing up onto the chicken pen. 

“I don’t think he’s here.” Karl commented after laying the last piece he had.

“I don’t think so either. But where could he have gone?” 

~

Jordan had always had nothing short of an impeccable sense of direction. He’d placed no markers in the End to point in the direction of Ianite’s study, he just knew which way to fly. He’d not been the one to make it, presumably she had at some point in her life. All he’d done was contribute a handful of rare books he’d traded wandering traders for. This was her domain entirely, he was just visiting. He glided through the doorway and gracefully came to a stop behind her desk, falling to one knee without hesitation. 

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon. What happened?” She asked, standing without pause and pulling him to his feet. 

“Tom found my library.” he confessed, Ianite’s expression darkening. “We got into an argument and-” she put a finger to his lips, meeting his eyes with great seriousness. 

“I don’t care what was said but tell me this, does he know of my plans?” Perhaps in another life, with another Ianite, Jordan might have noticed the way her facade had dropped ever so slightly when she spoke not of ‘their plans’ but of hers when as far as he knew it had been his idea. 

“Nothing more than preventing Dianite from locking you away.” 

Her eyes softened and her hand shifted to cup his cheek “Then you’ve done well.” Ianite stepped back to her desk. “I suspected that at least Dianite had his suspicions, it’s why he sent Syndicate to our side in the first place. It’s no matter if they have an idea of what we have in motion. Even if they knew everything, it’s far too late for them to stop us. With what you uncovered I revisited one of my Mother’s old journals. In it is detailed the location of the temple where my Father was imprisoned. That is where we need to go.”

“Tom’s probably told Dianite by now, or at least Karl who would have told Mianite.” “I agree, we must move quickly. But that is also why I have a gift for you.” 

He watched as she pulled something out of thin air with a great sense of purpose. She turned back towards him with a single arrow between her fingers. It was made of materials in shades of purple, he would expect no less from her, but the arrowhead itself was a deep, otherworldly amethyst color. She held it out to him with a warning of “be mindful not to touch the arrowhead.” 

“What is it made of?” The only materials he knew that would give this color besides dyes were not in this world. There was no manyullyn or purple wood or gemstones besides diamonds and emeralds.

“It’s a tainted arrow.” She said calmly and in an instant he was wary. 

“How did you make this?”

“With the wisdom of my other selves. But more importantly is what it is capable of. It’s stronger than any poison. A single scratch will permanently cripple a mortal, while a full strike will kill so thoroughly that there is no chance of rebirth or revival.” His mind jumped immediately to the only mortal in this world who would not be a part of the future he and Tom knew. Was this the reason Karl never arrived in the Land of Mianite? 

“And to a God?” he asked, knowing she would not have specified the effects on a mortal if it only affected them.

“It won’t kill us. There is nothing that is capable of killing a God without further assistance or intervention. But it would weaken us to the point where we are hardly capable of anything, let alone accessing our powers.”

“You want me to use this on one of your brothers.” He stated, looking down at what could very well be the single most powerful weapon he’d ever held. All the talk of the Kikoku, the sword that could strike an immortal being, in Ruxomar and only Tucker had wielded it. In the end it hadn’t even mattered. It had been Jordan’s own arrows augmented with Ianite’s power that had brought World Historian down.

“Ideally. Though I leave it up to you as to where you think it will be the most useful. I cannot make another. So choose wisely. I trust you to make a good choice.” She said sagely. With a nod, Jordan carefully slid it into his quiver. It was enchanted so that it never ran out of arrows but that only applied to the most basic kind. He’d made his own as well. Arrows of poison, arrows of harming, and now the tainted arrow. 

Ianite had said little of what they were to face upon finally finding her Father’s temple. Only that within it was a book that contained the spell she would need to reach her full strength and that they must find it before either of her brothers. Even with his earlier confrontation with Tom, it was unlikely Mianite or Dianite would get to the book first. That did not, however, mean they wouldn’t try to stop him and Ianite. He’d taken to carrying most of his most powerful weaponry and armor on him in some capacity. Between his inventory, the shulker box and the ender chest, he had access to his more important items at all times on his person. 

“We’ll have to go through the Overworld to get to the Temple.” Ianite commented. “I expect by now the others will have rallied in some fashion to stop us if not slow us down. If your friends are waiting for us, will you be able to fight them?” 

He took a deep breath and nodded. “I swore to you My Lady. I’ll do what I must to make sure we succeed.” 

She smiled in return, a pleased glimmer in her eyes. “Thank you Captain. You have no idea how much your loyalty means to me.” Ianite extended her hand to him. The moment he took it the End blurred before his eyes. When the haze cleared they were in his tower next to his bed. What immediately caught his attention were the blocks of TNT scattered around. There was only one possible culprit. 

“Tom.” He all but growled, pulling his sword from its sheath. A quick swipe of the blade broke the bundle of explosives, rendering it inert. As he stepped out from behind the stairs, he saw them both outside the window. 

Tom and Karl stood on the path between the animal pens, both dressed in full enchanted diamond armor. Tom held a shimmering diamond sword while Karl had a shining trident. Jordan had hoped, in some deep seeded part of himself, that they wouldn’t be stupid enough to do this. Karl didn’t know any better. He didn’t know the reputation Jordan had built himself among the others. He was the weaponsmith, the artificer, the inventor, the one who pushed the very limits of what was possible with tools and weaponry. Tom however, did. Tom knew better than to challenge him like this. 

“Remember Jordan,” Ianite murmured, laying a hand on his shoulder “From the depths and death of Balance arises Justice.” Then even quieter, so that her voice was no more than a whisper “It is their Gods who want me in chains.” 

Jordan took a steadying breath and steeled himself, then stepped from the safety of his tower.

“Really Tom? Resorting to your old tricks?” He called out, twirling his sword in preparation for a fight.

Tom adjusted his own grip on his sword. “Until they stop working on you Sparkly pants.” 

“Are you really sure you want to do this?”

“I’ll do what I have to so that you don’t change the future.” 

“You mean the future where Dianite is evil? The future where we spend weeks hiding and hunting each other down like animals? Where we spend our time devising more and more complicated ways to kill one another? Building secret base after secret base and not trusting anyone? The future where You kill Dianite? That’s the future you want?” 

Karl’s eyes widened, clearly Tom hadn’t told him much about the future they were fighting to defend. At first Tom said nothing then, slowly he said “If that’s the future that is supposed to happen then so be it.” 

“You may be willing to live through that but I am not willing to put Ianite through that future again. I will not be the one who sentences her to a millennia of imprisonment.” 

“You’re supposed to be the balanced one Jordan! The guy who doesn’t choose sides! That’s what you said Ianite was! Don’t you remember?” 

“I have always chosen a side. It just wasn’t yours. I chose Ianite even when you had no idea who she was because I was always meant to choose her. It’s my responsibility to prevent her from suffering any more, in this world or any others.”

“I didn’t want to do this Jordan, not really. But you’re not giving me another choice.” Tom said, shaking his head in disappointment. He pulled a redstone torch from his inventory and it was only then that Jordan noticed the thin trail of redstone dust that spread from near Tom. 

“So much for Team Ianite then.” Jordan sneered. 

“We both know the price of loyalty has always been high. But right now, it seems like yours is just a bit higher.” He dropped the torch, diving into the ocean with Karl right behind him, relying on it to protect them from the worst of the blast. 

Jordan barely had a moment to react before his farm exploded, scattering dirt and wheat across the island and the surface of the surrounding ocean. The rest of that half of the island went up seconds later, the blast strong enough to throw him against the tower. The enchantment on his armor protected him well enough but still drove the breath from his lungs. He struggled to get to his feet before the tower blew but then Ianite was there. 

His ears were ringing and his eyes were blurring but he could still make out the hand that was reaching towards him to help him to his feet. Her lips were moving but he couldn’t hear what she was saying, nodding in hopes that she had asked a question. “I’m fine.” He managed, blinking through the disorientation. She’d kicked the redstone trail apart he realized, scattering the dust enough to prevent it from reaching the explosives in the tower. 

She was saying something as she helped him stand, slinging his arm around her shoulder while putting an uncorked healing potion in his other hand. The last thing he heard before she teleported them away was Tom and Karl, screaming his name.

[anigodd]

I’m Sorry, My Dears (Part 3/?)

now posted on AO3 under Anigod, same title

When Dec broke the news to Tom and Karl, Tom immediately denied that Jordan went willingly.

Why would he? Tom and Jordan had been friends for years and he would like to say he knew the Captain well—at least well enough to know that he would never choose a side of evil. It just wasn’t the way Jordan was! He was always talking about keeping the balance of things, being neutral. To say he left with the Darkness was bullshit!

The Dianitee may not agree with Jordan’s Ianitee views of the world, but dammit he sure did make him feel better about the difficulties he’s had to face with his own god. Having to fight his own god because he was trying to kill his friends was hard on Tom. After the fight, he had doubts about himself; if he followed Dianite, was he, too evil? Would he be consumed by chaos and try to hurt his friends as well? Those thoughts always struck fear into him the most.

When he finally voiced these fears to Jordan, he didn’t laugh it off or tell him he was being ridiculous. He sat down with Tom for hours, telling him he was incredibly strong for standing up to his god and killing him, not only to protect the world, but also his friends. He told Tom that he would always be in debt to Tom for helping save Ianite, even if the zombie disagreed that it wasn’t a debt that needed to be repaid, he was happy to do it. But now, knowing that Jordan has turned his back on him? He was angry, sure, but he was also worried. Something wasn’t right but he was determined to find Jordan and give him a right smack with his sword and then hug him.

Karl, while good friends with Jordan, had not known him as long as Tom had. He was stunned, sure, but the Captain was a powerful man and scary when angry. If Jordan was unhappy, then it made sense that he would find a new alignment. But with the Darkness? Jordan was the type of guy who would rather hurt himself than his friends! Maybe there was something else going on? Was he being controlled? They said he left willingly but he was hesitant to believe the Captain would betray them. He’s heard stories of what he’s done for those he loves and has given Karl amazing advice about being a champion when he had his own doubts on whether he was good enough.

Jordan, after listening, told Karl that he understood what it felt like to feel incompetent to your god because he felt that way too. He told the story of him in Ruxomar and how his own goddess wanted him to be someone else, and the fact that he wasn’t the person she wanted hurt him deeply. The Captain worked so hard to make her see that he wasn’t the same man, but the feeling that he would never be good enough stuck with him. Karl was stunned that the Captain could ever feel like he wasn’t good enough—the man was powerful and humble. However, as he listened, he knew that he wasn’t alone in his feelings, that the gods could become neglectful at times, but if Mianite really didn’t like him, he would have revoked his Champion status a long time ago. Karl still has his doubts, but Jordan’s words always bring him a sense of comfort on those days.

The three gods watched as the two champions took in the news that their Priest had dropped on them. Tom went slack-jawed and wide eyed while Karl looked nervously between Tom and the gods. The zombie’s expression suddenly morphed into one of anger.

“You’re lying. You’re fuckin lying! Jordan would NEVER betray us like that! Th-there-there has to have been a mistake! Maybe the Darkness’ influence made it seem like he left willingly? Or-or maybe you saw wrong? I mean, come on! This is Jordan! Always on about balance Jordan! He can’t just- “

Tom was cut short by a hand on his shoulder from Karl. His jaw was clenched and was staring resolutely at the ground. The zombie looked at Karl and sighed heavily. There was no point in arguing but it didn’t make him any less furious about their situation.

They had a friend to save.

Mianite spoke, “Champions, while this news is hard to bear, you must not let your emotions slow you down. We do not have much time for mistakes and even less for squabbling. Fetch your gear and meet back here. We will be waiting.” His voice boomed across the isles like thunder, and when he finished speaking, the two looked unimpressed but headed to their homes anyway.

Ianite turned to him. “Must you always be so dramatic? This is an already tough situation for them. You’re making it worse.” She scolded.

Mianite didn’t seem to care and shrugged. “It’s fun.” He said with a little smirk.

At least someone was having fun. Dianite looked about ready to strangle him when the two champions returned. They looked curiously between the gods but a stern look from Dianite sobered all 5 of them quickly. Dec had been lost in thought since he had said his message.

Contrary to what the gods may think, Jordan was still Dec’s friend too. They had been in their original world with Tom together, and knowing that Jordan was so unhappy with his goddess, whom he was so dedicated to, that he felt used and useless; well that told Dec that the gods never learned how to care for their champions. And that angered him. Jordan has done everything he can for his goddess—his sleepless nights and hours upon hours of mining are proof of his dedication—but what has she given in return? Tokens? While the others are given weapons of power and praise, Jordan is given nothing.

Declan knows that Jordan never deserved what has happened to him in his life, and hates that he can never warn him of any hardships that will come to him. He just hopes he isn’t too far gone to reason with him.

“Everyone,” Ianite spoke, “be prepared to fight. We do not know what we are getting into when he enters the prison, nor do we know the Captain’s current state of mind. You have been warned.” A chill crept up their spines. While Ianite was a relatively neutral goddess, her warnings always gave a sense of unease and foreboding to those listening.

The last thing the immortals saw was an all-encompassing black and a flash of a sinister grin in the shadows before landing in the prison.

[syndianites]

The After; The Athar: Chapter Four

Chapter 4/?

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 [Here] - Chapter 5

AO3: This Chapter - Full Fic

Summary: Post Season 2, non-Mianitian Compliant. Wag escorts Martha to Jordan’s house and decides to have a day out with Sonja.

Relationships: Sparklington (end-game), Marthlington (temporarily), Sparkanite (Spark x Ianite) (past, mentioned), Motanite

Content Warnings: Death Mentions, Implied Depression, Implied PTSD, Self-Deprecation, Breaking up a Relationship (Marthlington)

AN: It’s Wednesday, totallyyyyyy. Just a little late haha, but here it is! Chapters 1-4 already written out. That means I actually need to finish chapter 5 and continue onward. I mentioned this before, but I’d been sitting on this since September of last year, and had chapter 4 done in... December? Of last year.

——————————————————————————————

“So, did you actually come to talk, or did you need something from me?” Jordan was looking towards the town now, legs crossed. With his arms splayed across the back of the couch, chin up, he looked like the perfect picture of nonchalance.

 Wag knew that that was far from correct.

 However, he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, drawing Jordan’s eye. “Well, I did actually come to see if you knew where Martha was, and if not Martha, Spark.”

 Jordan gave him a thoughtful frown.

 “Not that I didn’t want to talk to you,” Wag added in, “It’s just that I really need to see Martha. Rip the bandage off as soon as possible. I’m, uh. Breaking up with her.”

 Jordan’s face crumpled into a harsh discomfort, like someone had just doused his socks in water and told him all his other socks were missing.

 “Ah. That’s. Unfortunate?” He winces. “I’m sorry about your loss. Eventual loss. Yeah.”

 Wag shook his head, a smile playing at his lips. “She’s not dying, Jordan. I just realised that we- well, it didn’t matter what I realised. We’re better as just friends, if she’s okay with that.”

 Jordan nodded, lips pinched together. “I’m afraid I don’t recall where she was going today. Spark, however, should be at Town Hall handling some paperwork. She might be with him, might not. I’d ask him.”

 Getting up with a stretch, Wag replied, “Thanks. The faster I do this the better.”

 Jordan stood as well, following Wag to the front door. They stood there. Wag shuffled his feet. “I, uh. I’m not sure where the Town Hall is. Could you show me?”

 He had a fair idea, but not a sure one. The Town Hall was a building Wag often forgot about. But not because he didn't care to commit it to memory.

 To start, it looked like all the other buildings around it. Acacia based, a foundation of sandstone that peaked up from below the ground, and an easy, sloped thatch roof. It gave the buildings a log cabin feel, while still fitting in with the landscape. The edges were built with acacia logs to bring in a nice neutral gray which held it all together.

 Now, if it just looked like every other building that’d be fine. But it also had no marker to identify it as Town Hall. Or, rather, the marker it had was easily mistaken for something else- an open book with a quill. For example, it could be the symbol for a courthouse, or the symbol for a law firm. Or the Records Hall.

 Wag didn’t know where the Records Hall was either.

 Add in the fact that no one really went in there since the majority of citizens specialized in fishing and you have a place that is forgettable at best.

 That being said, Wag would rather have some company on his death march to breaking up with Martha. Using his unsureness of where, exactly, the Town Hall was would be a good excuse to keep talking to Jordan. At the least, it would help with his nerves.

 Jordan looked off to the side. “Isn’t it right next to-” He cut off. Thought for a second. “Yeah, it’d be better to just show you.”

 Wag smiled. He swept his hand towards the path and gave Jordan a shallow bow. “After you, my dear.”

 Shaking his head, Jordan began to lead the way, Wag trailing along just behind his shoulder.

 They descended the hill in comfortable silence. Jordan was clearly thinking about something, looking for a good moment to bring it up. Wag welcomed the change from thinking about his future.

 He side-eyed him. “Got something on your mind, my good fellow? Want to talk more about how the world has it out for us?”

 Jordan rolled his eyes. “No, I think that’s enough of that depressing topic for now.” A beat of silence. “I was just thinking-”

 “You’ve got to be careful with that.”

 “-Thinking about Tom.”

 Wag gasped. “Thinking about another man while we take such a romantic stroll together? How dare you.”

 “Yes, walking over to the Town Hall so you can talk to the man who looks like an older version of me and has a superiority complex is so romantic” Jordan wrinkled his nose. It’s not like he’d know much about romantic. Between Jordan and anyone else that was ever interested in him, the other had done more work. Jordan’s idea of romance was probably ‘let’s build some complex contraption together’.

 “We could always detour,” Wag suggested, lightly elbowing Jordan’s arm. “Take it across the beach, pick up shells that we’d think the other would like, hold hands and go barefoot to walk in the waves. Call it a date.”

 “I beach you it’d be a good time, but I’ll have to wave the idea off. I do have things I want to get done today.” Jordan turned to him with a glimmer in his eyes and a bashful, yet impish smile.

 “Wow.” Wag blinked a few times. “That was forced and you know it. ‘I beach you’?” He fake gagged. “So cheesy.”

 Jordan turned away with a huff.

 Wait.

 “Oh, my gosh, wave was also a pun. That was a double pun. I don’t know whether to be impressed or appalled.”

 “Thank you, I’ll be taking cash donations for my genius.”

 “I’ll be taking cash compensation for having to hear that with my own two ears.”

 Jordan laughed, a lovely, quiet sound. It was breathy, and just off of squeaky, but it made Wag’s ears burn.

 Weird.

 “I’m afraid,” Jordan followed up, “That we have a no refund policy. Once heard you can’t get your investment back. It was on page 8 of the contract you signed upon meeting me: ‘You accept any and all amazing, lovely puns that come out of Jordan’s mouth.’”

 “Wow. 8 pages? I don’t remember 8 pages. What I remember was, ‘Hello, I am most likely going to be inside, at home, for most of our friendship. And this is to say I’m not avoiding you, I’m preparing the most intricate, strong things imaginable for when shit inevitably goes to hell.’ That’s not even a page, it was a sheet of paper torn in half.” Was that overly accurate about Jordan? No. But the dig was worth it.

 Jordan shook his head, indignant, “I don’t stay inside that much! How dare you assume I’d be able to stay cooped up inside for so long. Clearly, if you wanted to be precise, I would have written ‘I’ll most likely be working on cool and awesome things that make me super prepared to help My Lady in any way possible.’ Inside versus outside means nothing in that regard.”

 “Ah, my bad. Let me rephrase that, ‘I am so loyal to Ianite and her existence that I will breathe balance, eat balance, and become balance. People will look at me and think ‘Wow, that guy sure is the epitome of balance. Almost enough to rival Ianite herself.’, except I’ll just look cool and be a good champion.”

 “Ok, ok, let’s back up here.” Jordan turned to look at Wag. To look up at Wag, more specifically. Shorty. “Going that far makes me sound like Spark, and I am nowhere near as bad as him. Like, c’mon, he was so dedicated to Ianite he married her.”

 They were in front of the Town Hall now.

 Jordan lowered his voice, like Spark could hear him. “He honestly needs a hobby.”

 Wag shook his head, stifling a laugh.

 “Well,” Jordan’s voice rose back to a regular volume. “Looks like we’re here.”

 “Looks so.”

 They stalled for a second.

 “I better get going,” Jordan started. “If you ever need anything, you know where to find me. I’ll help you with anything.” He side-eyed Wag, a joking look in his eye. “As long as it’s reasonable.”

 “That means a lot to me.” Wag smiled. “I promise that my next visit will actually be for you. It’s only fair, especially since you’re a dear friend of mine.”

 With a huff and a returned smile, Jordan pushed him along. “You don’t have to promise that.”

 “I want to. Since it’s you.”

 Wag turned and began walking up the steps into the building.

 Jordan felt his heart beat just a little faster. He tried to convince himself that that didn’t mean as much to him as his heart said.

 It really wasn’t that deep.

 ---

 The Town Hall was one of the first non-residential buildings placed in the town. In the time that they’d all been gone, there had been some remodelling to the valley.

 The first, most prominent, in Wag’s opinion, change was the removal of the Dianite statue head thing. If it was still there, Wag would not have built his tower right next to that. No siree.

 The rest of the changes were fairly mild: the paths around were fiddled with to give access to the beach and town buildings, the farms were cleaned up, and so on.

 Now, the Town Hall was delicately placed between the farms and the Tea Pot. The Tea Pot which was left standing. In all the revisions that were made to the land, someone looked at the Tea Pot, looked at the space it took up, and decided it should remain.

 There was a goddamn Tea Pot next to Town Hall.

 And Wag still struggled to remember where the Town Hall was.

 Needless to say, Wag head inside, giving a wave to the secretary. While there was no official “Mayor” of the town, there was a general administrative body made up of some of the townsfolk. It was a democratic setup, which leaned towards a more free-market, socialist style of living.

 Quite the turn around from Ruxomar.

 Spark, it seemed, had either learned from the eventual disaster that was Ruxomar- not that he was there to see its final collapse- or wanted a change of pace, seeing as he founded Dagrun under a monarchy. To be fair, there weren’t many people around to start a kingdom.

 After Wag exchanged conversation with the secretary and was waved towards the back, he found Spark. His office was small with a full window alongside one wall and a desk with neatly organized papers set up in multiple stacks. He sat behind the desk, pondering over a sheet laid before him, reading it with careful eyes.

 He looked up at Wag’s entrance, a polite smile forming on his face. “What brings my daughter’s favorite wizard around today?” Spark stood, moving around the desk to offer a handshake in greeting.

 “Oh, only Martha’s? Not yours?” He took the hand, trying to give a firm shake despite his nerves. “I came here to see if you knew of Martha’s whereabouts. I have something I need to talk to her about.”

 Spark took a step back. “Ah, she just stepped out to grab some records from the Record Hall. She’ll be a few minutes at least.” He moved back to his desk, motioning for Wag to sit in one of the guest chairs.

 Wag sank into it quickly.

 If Spark could see he was nervous, he said nothing. But Wag was sure it radiated off of him, from the way his fingers drummed against his legs, to how he would look at the door every so often, to how he kept shifting in his chair. He’d thought the walk and quiet pondering over the town’s brief history would help.

 It didn’t.

 Still, they sat in silence. Outward silence. His thoughts fought to be heard, to break out from the delicate prison he’d pushed them into when he steeled himself to potentially see Martha here, next to Spark.

 “Can I ask you something?” Wag blurted out. Spark looked up. “If you’re- if you’re not busy, that is.”

 He set aside his pen- something he’d carried from Ruxomar- and gave him an inviting wave.

 “What’s the difference between loving someone and being devoted to them?”

 Wag bit his lip as Spark mulled over an answer.

 “That depends,” he said, after a moment. “What kind of love and what kind of devotion?”

 Wag could see in his eyes that Spark knew what he meant, but was giving him space to elaborate on his issue.

  He has to know, right? What I’m about to do.  

 “Devotion to,” Wag took a breath, “To your goddess versus the love you have for her.”

 Spark stretched and sat back in his seat, relaxed. “It’s based in different things. Devotion is based on a shared belief, a shared idea. I followed,” Spark swallowed hard, “My goddess because I, too, believed in the balance she stood for, and the peace it upheld.”

 He swiveled the chair half-way around to gaze out the window. “I loved her because of who she was. Her laugh, her smile, her energy and joy and spirit and how she’d get that sparkle in her eye when she’d see me, a mix between something soft and something loving and-”

 He clears his throat, clearly holding back emotion. “I loved her because she was everything right in the world. In my world.”

 Wag did not mean to open up something this heavy for Spark. But he wasn’t done with his questions.

 “Did being in a relationship affect how you followed her?” He shoved his hands underneath his thighs to stop from fidgeting.

 “Yes. And no.” Taking a moment to compose himself, Spark swept his eyes across the landscape, the solid silhouette of Jerry’s Tree in the background. “After getting together, I was devoted to her in the sense of any typical boyfriend; I doted on her, did romantic things with her, the whole shebang. In terms of being her follower and champion, I knew when to be professional and to act upon our shared belief system. It took practice to not let one bleed into the other, but I made it work.”

 Though Spark wasn’t looking, Wag nodded.

 “How.” He cleared his throat. “What would be the best way to... separate that? To pull apart your devotion and your relationship so they don’t affect each other?”

 Spark turned back to him, his figure highlighted by the glow from outdoors, creating a regal picture of a tired, broken old man. “Separate them? You don’t. You can’t. It’s impossibly hard to have the maturity to stop your feelings from changing how one part of your relationship goes.”

 “To be a lover means to be ready to defend your partner at all costs, just as you would a champion. To be a champion means to love your goddess to the ends of the world, just as you would a lover. Devotion and love are centered from different places, but once your feelings in them cross they cannot be unlinked.”

 “But they’re not the same.” Now Spark was starting to get confusing and muddled to Wag. “

 You just said so! Loving someone can come in different forms. You can love your goddess and not be in love with her.”

 “But you still love her, regardless of which side you love through. Champion, partner, it's all love. If you let them slide together, they die together. What’s the difference? What creates that gap?” Spark had a glint in his eyes, now, something removed from the quiet, tender sadness from before.

 “There’s a big difference!” Wag freed his hands to gesture wildly. “To love your partner is to cherish every moment with them, to be apart and still, somewhere in the back of your mind, be thinking of them. You see sweets, or goodies, or just nice things and think about if they’d like them, or you see the soft purple of lilac and think of their hair, or wander past a library and think of spells and sitting up late at night pouring through books. Or-”

 He threw his arms up. “Loving your goddess is different, I think. I’ve never followed one before this. I followed a god without any care for that god. I didn’t even really follow him, we followed something adjacent to him.”

 “And,” Wag breathed, “loving your goddess is like seeing the value in what they preach. Like.” He was frustrated now. Didn’t he just tell him that love and devotion came from different things? If that was the case, how did being a champion in a relationship with your goddess stop that from being different things? “Like how you devote yourself to an idea!”

 Spark raised an eyebrow. “So? You devoted yourself to the idea of being in a relationship with her, you crossed that divide and filled it in.”

 “But I didn’t! I just built a bridge over it and tried to figure out which side I was on.”

 “Which side are you on?”

 “I don’t know!” Wag was starting to breathe heavily. It was like every moment he had built up his confidence to cut it off with Martha was being uprooted like grass in a plowed field. “I just don’t want to be in the middle anymore.”

 Spark watched him silently. He wasn’t going to give Wag a break this time.

 “It’s terrible.” Wag continued, quieter. “Being stuck between the desire to stick by her side and protect her and the desire to be right beside her and love her, and hold her, and be the one person who can always make her laugh.”

 He looked away, towards a wall with an older oil painting. “But that’s the thing. I don’t have to choose. We chose on our own without knowing. We drifted away, lost to our own problems and grief. The bridge back to her side is broken and torn and I don’t think I have the strength left in me to repair it.”

 “Don’t have the strength, or are scared to?”

 “Both! Neither? Fuck, I just.” Wag shook his head, trying to rattle his thoughts enough to make sense. “I can’t promise that if I do fix things they won't break again, weather down and fall away under my negligence. And I’m afraid of what would happen if I let things get that bad again.”

 “Fear is natural.” Spark eyed him up and down. “But you can’t let it get in the way of your life.”

 “It’s not. I swear it isn’t. But we feel fear for a reason and that’s to stop us from making poor decisions.”

 “But sometimes fear is a knee-jerk reaction, what you feel when you’re uncertain or when things change around you and you’re not ready for it.”

 “I’m not,” Wag whispered. He cleared his throat and tried again, louder. “I’m not ready for change. And that’s ok. It’d be better to take a step back and see what I need to do to be ready and to adapt, rather than to try and go arm deep into whatever mess comes my way because I’m afraid of losing everything I love.”

 “Even if that means losing your relationship with Martha?”

 “I’d rather be friends than nothing at all.” And that was the truth. For all he cared about her romantically, he also cared about her as a friend. As someone who’d been through hell and back with her. You don’t just leave people like that behind.

 Spark nodded. “Then you know what you need to do.”

 Now that wasn’t what he was expecting to hear. “Wait.”  Did I just get lead on? “Was that whole conversation just a way to make me figure my shit out?”

 “I wouldn’t say it like that,” Spark was smoothing out the papers on his desk. “But yes, I did pull the conversation in a way that made you think about your decision. I wouldn’t contradict my own words without purpose.”

 “I doubt anyone does.” Wag rolled his eyes. “So you approve? Of me choosing to break up with Martha?”

 Spark looked up at Wag, already having grabbed his pen. There was a beat of silence. Wag started to sweat.

 After all of that, surely he does?  

 Silence.

  Right?  

 He felt like a kid that got sent to the principal’s office. Getting stared down by the head honcho that doesn’t want to see you in front of them but also doesn’t want to let you off easy.

 Still, he was scrutinized.

 Holy shit man.  

 Finally- finally!- Spark looked back down.

 “I’m impartial,” he said at last. “To be honest, it’s not my issue. While I do want the best for my daughter, she is a grown woman. You are a grown man. My approval shouldn’t matter here.”

 Wag relaxed. He had a point.

 Spark shook his head, signing off on a document and moving it aside. “I had the same doubts about my relationships when I was your age. That was before-” he coughed. “-you know, and when I still fancied this lovely lady from my hometown. We’d been going strong for a while, but I was dedicated to my faith and she was not interested in faith at all.”

 He tsked. “We wouldn’t have worked out at all, no matter how much I cared for her. Still kept in touch until,” Spark gave a pointed look around, “This happened.”

 “Okay, grandpa.” Ah, yes, he definitely wanted to hear about Spark’s love life.

 A thought struck him.

 “Now wait a second, when you were ‘my age’?” Wag glanced over Spark. “I’m older than you.”

 Spark chuckled. “Thanks for the compliment, but I’m sure we can both see I’m older than you.” He tilted his head to the side. “See that gray? That’s age and stress. Enjoy your youth while you have it.

  “I’m a wizard.”

 A narrowing of the eyes.

 “I’ve been a wizard.”

  He sat back in his chair.

 “I’ve been a wizard for a long time.”  

 Spark turned his gaze back to his documents. “You must be pulling my leg.”

 “No, sir, I am not.” Wag was fidgeting again, this time bored. “I think I’m a little over a century old? Maybe more.”

 “I can understand you being a wizard, but there’s no way minor magic- non-divine magic- could extend your life.”

 “I killed a god to become a wizard.”

 Wag stared Spark down with a straight deadpan. Spark’s mouth worked at a response.

 He’d never get one.

 “So I didn’t find any proof of purchase document for Lichens- ah, hello Wag.” Martha stopped dead in the doorway, face stuck between surprised, pleasant, and a flicker of discomfort. “To what do we owe the pleasure of a visit?”

 Well. It seemed Martha found him.

 Now that they were both staring at him, Wag felt far too exposed. He tugged at his hood. It was already as low as it could go on his head. That didn’t make him feel any better.

 So he opted for a smile instead. “I needed to talk to you about something Martha.”

 She exchanged a glance with Spark, who had a thoughtful look in his eyes. It was the kind of look that said they’d talked about him before. And, based on the look he gave Wag in turn, it was not a very positive kind of talking.

 Oh dear fuck.

 Martha gave him a shy smile. “Can it wait? I need to wrap this up real fast. Then, after that, I should be free for a bit.”

 It couldn’t. If it did, it would never happen. Wag knew it wouldn’t. From the way his heart stuttered to the way his hands shook, he knew that if he gave himself the time to back out he’d take it. And as much as he didn’t want to make an ass out of himself by saying no, wouldn’t trapping them both in this be worse? Keeping the two of them together to pretend that things were going well?

 No, it couldn’t wait.

 The words, however, stuck in his throat. He shook his head. Took a breath. “I’m sorry, it really can’t.”

 Martha took it in stride. “Alright. This must be important to you, let me set this down and I’ll be right out.” She motioned him to wait outside the door.

 Wag took the opportunity. Once safely in the hallway, alone, he ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

 Calm down.  

 It wasn’t like he was signing his life away. Or like he was telling Martha he killed her dad. They were just breaking up.

 But it felt like it was more than that. It felt like he was betraying her, like all those promises he made were for nothing. Hadn’t he said he’d follow her to the end of the line? That he’d be her champion? What would become of that if he broke up with her?

 Where did devotion and love meet and where did they separate?

 Wag wasn’t sure anyone knew. It was a challenge to be in love with a goddess.

 The sound of the door swinging open caught his attention. Martha stepped out, smoothing her shirt out. She caught his eye and sent him a smile. He gave a shaky one back.

 “Gee, Waggles,” That nickname hit something soft in his chest, “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were going to break up with me.”

 Fucking shit.  

 He sat silent as his mind fell down a flight of stairs.

 Martha caught on. “You, you are, aren’t you?”

 Her eyes were wide, now, and Wag wasn’t sure how to follow that up. This was not going as he’d planned. Except, he hadn’t really planned it so much as made a vague idea about how he was going to.

 Get your shit together man, now's the time.  

 “Yes.” His voice strained and he cleared his throat. “I am.”

 Before she could get in a word, he pushed onward. “And it’s not because I don’t love you. I do. I love you so, so much. I’d follow you to the ends of the world, spread your name as your champion until my voice ran out, I would-” He stopped himself. This was supposed to be a break up. “I would do a lot for you.”

 He took a deep breath.

 “But I’m not what you need.”

 His heart was free falling, bouncing between his hard and fast love for Martha and his desire to be loved. Between knowing they weren’t good for each other- not anymore- and wishing that they could be.

 “What are you talking about?” Martha’s voice, though she kept her volume level, was thick with emotion. “Of course you are. I love you so much Wag, what would I do without you?”

 “I’m not!” He swallowed heavily. “You don’t love me the same. I don’t love you the same. Haven’t you seen it? How we never see each other? How we can’t be around each other without walking on eggshells? How it feels like there’s someone missing that I could never replace?”

 Martha had loved Steve so much. And she’d loved Wag. But after everything, he’d realized that they’d grown apart. That for all they loved each other, they didn’t.

 Wag took a brave moment to look Martha in the eyes. Her tears were held back by pure willpower and rapid blinking. Her mouth was set in a thin line. For all she was trying to keep her cool it was breaking at the seams.

 She was quiet. Wag could practically feel the storm of thought and emotion rolling off of her. A whisper. “You’re right.”

 He held his breath.

 “You’re right. You can’t replace him. No one can. But you don’t have to. Why can’t I just love you and him both? What’s wrong about that?”

 No, no, no. That wasn’t his point at all.

 “You can.” His voice was just as low. “Of course you can, there’s nothing wrong with that. But you’re letting your love for him get in the way of us. Your grief, your longing, your bone deep aching for him is all you see when you’re with me, isn’t it?”

 “No!” Martha looked away. “Yes. Kind of. No. I don’t look at you and see Steve. I look at you and see you and I think about how much it would hurt to lose you. Like I lost Steve. How much you mean to me, how much he meant to me.”

 She had closed her eyes now, putting her hand over her mouth.

 “I miss him so much. Sometimes it’s all I can think about. There are days were I long to go home and see him, to be able to hold him again. But I remember that he’s not there. The thought of going home without him feels awful.”

 Wag was torn, again. He felt awful to make Martha talk about this, to make her relive every time she missed Steve, mourned Steve. But on the other, this was where they were falling apart.

 “I’m not innocent in this, I must admit.” He started slowly. She looked back at him, tears on the verge of falling. “I feel like I’ve lost everything. My old life, my fellow wizards, the world I used to know.” Wag couldn’t meet her eyes on the next sentence. “My powers. They haven’t come back.”

 “And I’ve drawn away from everyone and everything. Even you. And as easy as it would be to blame you for us falling apart, that’s not fair to you or to your grief. But we can’t keep killing ourselves like this.”

 Martha had wrapped her arms around herself now. She pushed her chin up. “You’re right. Again. This dance we’ve been performing, it’s gone on long enough hasn’t it?” A wet laugh. “We can fix this now, fix,” she gestured between them, “Us. Now that we’ve pulled the facade away. That’s the first step, right? Taking down the act.”

 Wag shook his head. He wanted to. So badly. To let this be the start of something better, to remake what they had. But the roots were rotten, not just the tree. Even if they cut off every dead branch, they’d only die out again.

 “I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m not ready to try again.” His voice wavered. If he could cry he would.

 All he had were tears of blood, ever streaming.

 She was quiet. Then she bowed her head. “I understand. And I’d need time, too, if we were to try again.”

 The conversation fell off, but it didn’t feel resolved. Wag pushed up the energy to ask one last question.

 “Will I- will I still be your champion?” It was a dangerous question. And yet, still not the one he needed to ask.

 Martha appraised him. “I don’t know. I’m not sure how to deal with my champion being a recent ex.” Nonetheless, she gave him a watery smile. “I’ll let you know when I make a decision.”

 Wag nodded. Already, she was piecing herself back together. Faster than he ever could.

 She went to turn away, opening her mouth to say one last thing, but Wag interrupted her. “Will we still be friends after this?”

 A laugh, real this time. “Of course.” She shook her head fondly. “Goodbye Wag. Until we meet again.”

 “Until we meet again.”

 Martha made her way back inside, most likely about to tell Spark the news.

 He felt detached from the world, thoughts echoing farther and farther away with each step Martha took. His eyes tracked her, watching how her hair moved, the grace in her stride- even has her body shook with hurt. Her neatly pressed and clean clothes, changed up from what she had worn in Ruxomar. A breathable, white silk long-sleeved shirt and dark leggings.

 From the way her fingers curved in an elegant arch against her thighs to how her shoulders had slumped ever so slightly before the door closed behind her. In his head he could see her eyes sparkling, a lovely lavender to match her hair. He could hear her laugh, her voice, see her radiant smile that he always sought to draw out.

 Wag could feel the floor disappear out from under him, feel himself sinking into the void. Empty, empty, empty. A chapter of his life was over, now. And it was by his own hand. For all he had feared change, he had caused it.

 Was this better or worse?

 A quiet, muted drip caught his attention. The world blurred back in. Wag looked down. A tiny, pink-ish speck on the floor. Another joined it with a plop. A shaking hand rose to his cheeks. Still bloody, but when he pulled it away it was also pink-ish. Runnier.

 Tears.

 He wanted to laugh. Instead, he strode out of the Town Hall, finding the familiar path home in a daze. A pink trail of bloody tears followed him.

 He was going to miss her.