#and if it's the angelina 1 lives au but she's dead then what's the point?

[janetbrown711]

I made next gens for the Angelina 1 Lives Au because I can and none of you can stop me <333333

Seriously tho- I made them mid-way through writing the Yax fic and instantly knew what my next project was gonna have to be.

I know what you're thinking- why in the au? Isn't Angelina 1 already dead? tf is the point of keeping this au going if she's dead?

Because I've spent too much time developing this au and getting attached to the characters of William and Lena to say goodbye and that's also where my Yax fic takes place and I'm not gonna disregard all of the work I did to develop their relationship within the au just to toss them in normal Wakko's Wish cannon. Also- because I'm in charge and this is for my self-indulgence <33333

Yes, I will be writing a fic for them. No, I do not know when it'll be out/when I'll start writing. Probably soon, but I don't know, as I'm still exhausted from the Yax fic.

I'm open to taking any questions you have about them too.

Either way- without further ado, here they are:

Ophelia Warner-Goof

Age: 16

Pronouns: she/her

About her: Ophelia is the eldest of her cousins and is the only child of Yakko and Max, born of a surrogate mother. She was born without a lower half of her left arm, and as such has had a prosthetic throughout her life. She's a lot like Yakko in the sense of liking reading and absorbing as much knowledge about anything she can and having crippling anxiety. She's first in line for the throne and worries constantly about being a good leader for the kingdom. She's close to both of her dads, as they both have a nice support balance for her (though if she had to pick, she'd say Max because he works a lot less). She's also the most level-headed of her cousins, often putting a stop to, or calling out, their shenanigans.

Likes:

Reading

history

being indoors

spending time with her dads

Calling out her cousins on their shenanigans (all in good fun though)

Reading from the "forbidden study" (Angelina I's personal study- but she doesn't know that)

Singing

Women

Dislikes:

being called out for being "too independent"

public speaking

Reading from the "forbidden study" (love-hate) (there's a lot of shit but she can't stop going back even tho she knows it's bad)

Basically, everything she's ever heard about Angelina I

Alyx *redacted*

Age: 15

Pronouns: they/them, he/him, she/her, etc. They're genderfluid so their gender and pronouns change day to day (with they/them being their neutral "go to if you don't know" pronouns).

About them: Alyx is a homeless wild child living on the streets in Warnerstock. Their parents attempted to sell them as a child by abandoning them in the woods, but they managed to slip away before the people could come and take them. Ever since then they've lived in the streets. They aren't related to the Warner's at all. That's where we meet them at the beginning of our story <333

Likes:

Sleeping with a knife under their pillow

Skirts

their jacket (seen in pic) bc it's "very gender"

apples

blue

sword fighting

Dislikes:

their parents

being perceived as weak

asking/receiving help

being called out on their trauma

being sick

Chrys Warner (left)

Age: 14

Pronouns: she/her

About her: Chrys is the eldest of Dot's kids and is the identical twin to Sam. How can that be if they're different genders? Easy, Chrys is trans. Together, her's and Sam's names are short for Chrysanthemum (like the flower) because their father was a gardener and they didn't know they were going to have twins (as they had decided to name the baby Chrys short for Chrysanthemum but then there were two so they just split it). Of their parents, Chrys was closer to her father before he died when she and Sam were 7 of tuberculosis. It was very traumatizing for the whole family, needless to say. She's practically inseparable from Sam, and it's obvious that he's her closest friend. Often they like to hang out and plan out how to mess with Ophelia next (most often by stealing and misplacing one of her arms). She's very talented academically, but she doesn't like focusing on it too much, preferring to sticking to having fun instead.

Likes:

flowers

history

reading fiction/espionage stories

playing piano

thinking about the future

Parties

Dislikes:

being told to "work harder" or being called lazy

winter

lectures from Dot

Sam Warner (right)

Age: 14

Pronouns: he/him

About him: He's the second and technically middle child of Dot's fam, though he denies that because "twins don't count". He's very similar to Chrys when they're together, but when separated, Sam is a lot more introverted and quiet than how Chrys is when she's alone. He often doesn't know what to do with himself with her gone. He's closer to Dot, and is learning the art of dressmaking from her.

Likes:

fashion

scheming with Chrys

flowers

playing harp

Men

Parties

cuddles

Dislikes:

being alone

thinking about the future

reading

being called out for his noodle arms

Peony Warner

Age: 7

Pronouns: she/her

About her: Peony is the youngest of Dot's children and was born mere weeks after her father died. As such, she never had a connection with him, which can cause her to feel a little displaced in the family and her relationship with Dot can be strained because of it. This causes her to be closer to her grandparents and to overcompensate with an overly cheerful, cute, and optimistic personality. She, like her siblings, was named after a flower.

Likes:

pink

coloring

singing

flowers

gardening

fancy dresses

spending time with her grandparents

paintings

Dislikes:

making Dot upset (whether she's actually responsible or not)

having it pointed out that she didn't even know her father

parties (secretly, though. too many people to try and all please- she finds them rather exhausting but won't admit it to many)

being called "annoying"

[theparanormalperiodical]

Everything You Need To Know About Zombies, And 5 Sightings Of The Real-life Walking Dead We STILL Can’t Explain

At this point, I’m not sure anything would surprise me.

In fact, a zombie apocalypse would actually make sense at this point. But even if the grand finale of 2020 was the dead rising from their graves, it wouldn’t actually be the first time.

According to those that practice Haitian Voodoo, zombies exist. And according to scientists, zombies exist.

But the thing is, Hollywood has gotten our favourite flesh-eating, apocalypse-heralding monsters wrong. The folklore behind these monsters is actually rather different than men and women foaming at the mouth as they mummy-walk towards you.

The reanimated corpse didn’t take its first steps with the debut cinema screening of Night Of The Living Dead (1968).

It started with slaves.

Today we are going to cover everything you need to know about zombies from forgotten folklore of years gone by, to the rumours of the living dead among us in preparation from the incoming apocalypse...

What Are Zombies?

It’s pretty simple: a zombie is someone who was dead and is now not-so-dead. According to an official definition they are corpses which have been brought back from the grave to haunt the living.

Yep - they’re just like ghosts. But instead of wafting gently they have to lump around this great hulking cadaver which is in the midst of decay.

Zombies can be traced back to Haitian Voodoo which claims that a dead body can be reanimated by magical rituals. This supernatural take on the walking dead, however, is at odds with more modern fictional beliefs which centre on science.

Parasites, diseases, and viruses (*looks into camera*) feature as the main causes of zombies taking over the world in Hollywood’s take on the beast. This new zombie first pulled itself out of the ground in 1968 with Night Of The Living Dead, but the term ‘zombies’ was only applied by fans after the release of the cult classic. They were originally known as ‘ghouls’ in the film, confirming the premise that zombies exist to haunt the living.

Following this on-screen debut, the horror genre was overrun by zombie films with Dawn Of The Dead and Thriller going down in history as some of the most iconic movies of all time. The genre waned towards the 90s, however, and was due a resurgence just before the millennium thanks to predominately East Asian video games.

28 Days Later and Shaun Of The Dead resurrected the genre at the turn of the century and shaped what zombies are now known most for: the zombie apocalypse.

The terrifying claims of a civilised world being brought to its knees by walking corpses is now a pop culture staple, but more recently its been given a makeover and shopping montage as a part of its rom-com redo. Warm Bodies and iZombie are a novel take on the horror must-have and incorporate a human-zombie relationship that is an emblem for the sexual liberation of the era.

The severed relationship between supernatural zombies and the sci-fi alternative doesn’t just take place on Netflix. There is evidence that both could exist.

Zombies In Haitian Voodoo

In 1819, poet Robert Southey was the first to use the term ‘zombie’ in his history of Brazil. This heralded the emergence of zombies in Haitian Voodoo which chimed with a concept even more terrifying than the prospect of a zombie apocalypse:

Slavery.

According to Haitian Voodoo, bokors - or witches - would use necromancy to revive a dead person. This zombie would then be under their control as a personal slave and would have no personal will.

Bokors were also known to capture ‘zombie astrals’ - part of the human soul - in a bottle which would provide the owner with extra luck or healing properties, for example.

These beliefs were rooted in Voodoo traditions brought to Haiti by enslaved Africans: they believed Baron Samedi would take them to an African heaven after they died. Those that offended the Ioa (a Voodoo god) would be a slave forever - AKA a zombie. This fear of eternal slavery was reinforced by slave drivers who were often also voodoo priests; to prevent slave suicides, they would threaten zombification.

It was this widespread belief in zombies as slaves that would spread beyond Haiti’s borders during the US’ occupation of the country in the early 20th century. A number of case studies reporting zombies came to the US’ attention, such as in the William Seabrook’s The Magic Island (1929): he cited an article in Haiti’s criminal code which recognised zombies’ existence, (it essentially said even if you murder someone and you make them come back as a zombie, it is still murder).

It was shortly after US forces entered Haiti that one of the most famous cases of an alleged zombie emerged. We will get to Felicia Felix-Mentor’s story later in this article.

Zombies In Science

Zombies are deeply rooted in some of humanity’s darkest chapters in history - but they also have a place in our natural history, too.

Technically, zombies do exist. Sure, if you made the claim for human zombification via Voodoo priest scientists would counter with claims that these ‘zombies’ are schizophrenic, in a catatonic state, or are suffering from a mental illness that mirrors how we believe they would act. But if you made a similar claim for other animals - namely insects - they’d believe you.

In fact, there are numerous known cases of such instances.

Whilst there are no known insects that practice Haitian Voodoo, these cases follow the basic plotline of zombie cult classics - parasites infect them and alter their behaviour or use them to their advantage. The parasites effectively make slaves out of those they target, mirroring what we saw in Haiti.

Take zombie carpenter ants, for example:

A fungus enters their bloodstream, hijacks their mind and grows around their muscles. Within one short week the ant is compelled to leave its colony and seek higher ground which has the right temperature and humidity for the fungus to grow in. It then forces the ant to bite down into a leaf, grows a stalk through the ant's head, and cuts off the ant’s muscle control.

The ant’s corpse still moves its legs vigorously as the bulbous capsule of fungi spores grows through what’s left of its body to infect the ant colony below.

There are many more examples just like this with most parasites having their own unique - and uncomfortably brutal - method of killing off wildlife.

Scientists are unable to refute claims that a parasite might mutate and have a similar effect on humans one day, reducing us all to the zombie hordes seen in the movies.

We just have to wait and see. 

Cases Of Actual, Real-life, Not-so-living-n-breathing Zombies

Although scientists don’t support claims that Haitian voodoo can in fact raise the dead and create personal slaves, various sightings and reports suggest that human zombies do exist.

Question is - do you believe them?

#1 - Felicia Felix-Mentor

In 1936, the owner of a farm in a small village in Haiti woke up to quite a shock.

A naked woman staggered towards them with her raspy voice mumbling and slurring that this farm belonged to her farmer. But the most terrifying thing about this strange woman that stumbled her way through the village was that she looked rather familiar.

In fact, they were pretty sure that this was a woman who had died and had been buried many years before.

19 years before.

Zora Neale Hurston - an anthropologist - investigated this alleged case of zombification and met Felicia Felix-Mentor at a hospital. The doctors were convinced she was a zombie and her husband confirmed this was his wife.

Even Hurston admitted that she believed what they were telling her:

“I know that I saw the broken remnant, relic, or refuse of Felicia Felix-Mentor in a hospital yard.”

#2 - Clairvius Narcisse

30 odd years after Felix-Mentor first wandered up to her father’s old farm, a 40 year old man admitted himself into hospital in Deschapelles, Haiti. Doctors, however, were unable to work out why he had a fever, was clearly fatigued, and was spitting up blood. He died 3 days later.

20 years after he died, a man claiming to be Narcisse approached Angelina Narcisse, his sister.

He told her and other villagers private, personal information in an attempt to convince them that he was in fact Clairvius and had been turned into a zombie for use on a sugar plantation. He had been paralysed for the duration of his burial and then dug up to be put to work as a slave.

He described in detail the process of his alleged zombification, claiming she was given a paste made from hallucinogenic chemicals which scientists would later use to refute most claims of zombies as simply a drugged state. When the bokor died and he was no longer fed the concoction, he regained his sanity and thus his free will, and returned to his family.

Much like Felix-Mentor’s story, Narcisse is actually widely believed to have been a zombie. His death was documented by 2 American doctors unlikely to follow Haitian Voodoo folklore, and even the man who investigated his claims - Lamarque Douyon - believed to some extent zombies could be real despite dismissing supernatural claims.

He brought a sample of the powders or paste used by the bokor back to the US to investigate whether ‘zombies’ were actually people who were drugged and then revived.

#3 - Woman from Port-au-Prince

Only known as FI to The Lancet, the journal investigating cases in southern Haiti in the late 90s, she was discovered 3 years after her death wandering near the village she once called home by a friend.

FI was mute and unable to feed herself but she was still recognised by her family, her fellow villagers, and the local priest by a distinct facial mark and other features.

The local courts opened her tomb to investigate the fact that she had apparently risen from the dead and found it full of stones. Her husband was accused of zombifying her after he caught her having an affair.

Despite local claims of supernatural goings-on, she was later admitted to a psychiatric hospital in Port-au-Prince.

#4 - Son of a secret policeman

WD (mentioned in the same study by The Lancet) was 18 years old when he became ill. He developed a fever, his body swelled up, and his eyes went yellow. They thought he was dying or at least already dead.

His father asked his brother to get advice from a bokor but WD died 3 days later. 19 months after he was buried, he reappeared at a cock fight and recognised his father before accusing his uncle of zombifying him.

#5 - Unknown young woman

MM (also mentioned in the same study by The Lancet) was joining her friends in prayer for a local who had been zombified when she fell under a similar affliction. The 18 year old became ill with diarrhoea and fever, her body swelled, and she died.

Her family immediately suspected a sorcerer had had their way with their daughter.

13 years later and MM reappeared at the town markets, claiming not only had she been a zombie in a village 100 miles away, she had had a child with another zombie.

When her bokor died, his son released MM from their control and she travelled home.

What do you think?

Are zombies real? Or are they merely a fictional beast haunted by the forgotten history of slavery?

If you liked this post I’m pretty sure you’ll love the other articles I post every Saturday! Make sure you hit follow if you want to see ‘em.

Can’t wait ‘til next weekend for a new hit of horror? Check out this online archive of paranormal experiences…

[knowyourincantations]

Sapphic September 2018 - Masterlist of my works

All works collected in this series on AO3

I challenged myself to write something every day for this, and I managed to do it!! Only cheated once by substituting an older prompt from a previous day!

If you enjoy any of these, I’d love to hear about it in a comment on AO3 if you have the time =)

Day 1: First Meeting (gone right or gone wrong) or “You’re an idiot, why do I love you?” Hermione/Pansy (Pansmione) Breakfast Smoothies (301 words, Teen) Summary: Pansy tries to make Hermione breakfast in bed. It doesn't go as planned.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 2: Best Friends to Lovers or Enemies to Lovers Ginny/Luna (Linny) Waiting for so Long (1,210 words, Teen) Summary: Ginny has been living with Luna for years, and has been in love with her for years.

(AO3 | Tumblr) 

Day 3: “Come back to bed.” or “Why did you have to leave me all alone?” Cho/Fleur (Delachang) Nothing More Beautiful (1,097 words, Teen) Summary: When dating someone as sophisticated and confident as Fleur, Cho can't help but feel horribly aware of her own lack of experience.

(AO3 | Tumblr) 

Day 4: Pirate!AU or “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.” Hermione/Pansy Standards (701 words, Teen) Summary: It may be truth or dare with a penalty for dodging dares, but Pansy still has standards.

(AO3 | Tumblr) 

Day 5: Soulmate!AU or Autumn Luna/Pansy (Lunsy) Childhood Games (805 words, General Audiences) Summary: Luna always has a way of knowing just what Pansy needs.

(AO3 | Tumblr) 

Day 6: Fanon Pairing or “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.” Hermione/Pansy Night Flight (389 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Pansy and Hermione stay up drinking one night and Pansy gets a brilliant idea.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 7: Witch!AU or Cat Pansy/Parvati (Parvansy) Latest Aquisition (348 words, General Audiences) Summary: Pansy has a soft spot for strays.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 8: Sunlight or Prank War Cho/Fleur Pancakes (298 words, Teen and Up) Summary: It's the morning after their wedding, and Cho doesn't want to waste it in bed.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 9: Holding Hands or “I can’t imagine what my life would have been like without you.” Hermione/Pansy Bringing Work Home (1056 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Hermione is the Head of the Wizengamot, Pansy is a social commentator. They have an agreement not to talk politics at home, but almost always do anyway.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 10: OT3 or “Make a wish” Hermione/Pansy/Tracey A Tough Day (817 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Hermione has a tough day and work, and Pansy and Tracey figure out how best to help her wind down and let it go.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 11: Spy!AU or Kryptonite Hermione/Pansy Wanting Out (1220 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Pansy is a spy for the order and Hermione is her handler.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 12: First Time or First Dance Cho/Fleur Cutting In (385 words, General Audiences) Summary: Fleur could not take the person she wanted to the Yule Ball, but she won’t let that stop her from a getting a dance from her.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 13: Reincarnation!AU or Immortal!AU Hermione/Pansy Need More Tea (916 words, General Audiences) Summary: Hermione has a surprise for Pansy, Pansy's reaction is unexpected.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 14: Proposal Gone Wrongor Hot Chocolate Hermione/Pansy Hot Chocolate (792 words, General Audiences) Summary: Pansy has been pining from afar, but now she's finally making a move.

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Day 15: Star-Crossed Lovers orHolding your dead lover’s body Hermione/Pansy It’s Only Goodbybe for Now (1,241 words, Teen and Up) Summary: It's sixth-year and Dumbledore announces the closing of Hogwarts in the face of a rapidly escalating war. Hermione goes to find Pansy.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 16: Street Magic!AUor “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.” Hermione/Pansy Another Kind of Magic (357 words, General Audiences) Summary: On an outing to a muggle market, Pansy's attention is caught by someone performing street magic.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 17: Prom!AU or“She’s missing, not dead.” Pansy/Reader’s Choice (Unnamed in fic, tagged as Padma on AO3) Nothing Is Certain (715 words, Teen and Up) Summary: It's been three weeks since Pansy's wife has gone missing.(Pansy's wife is unnamed within fic so the reader can imagine it is whoever they like)

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 18: Political!AU orRoyalty!AU Fleur/Cho Persuasion (259 words, Mature) Summary: Princess Fleur as been sent to finalise a treaty with Empress Cho.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 19: Prideor Coming Out Ginny/Pansy (Ginsy) Ready? (1037 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Ginny takes Pansy over to the Burrow with the intention of finally revealing they've been in a relationship for years and are now engaged, only to lose her nerve and flee to her old room to try and build up her courage again.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 20: Fake Dating or Fake Married Ginny/Tonks More Than Just Maintaining Cover (1,440 words, Mature) Summary: Tonks and Ginny frequently go undercover as a couple, but they've never had to sell it like this before.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 21: Your Very First Sapphic OTP or Hurt/Comfort Ginny/Luna How Convenient (548 words, Teen and Up) Summary: The twins' birthday is hard every year, but every year, Luna makes it a little more bearable.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 22: Moving In Together or Adopting a Child Fleur/Tonks (Flonks) Settling In (532 words, General Audiences) Summary: It's the big day, but Tonks sleeps through most of the moving.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 23: “Is that mistletoe?” or“Why didn’t you kill me when you had the chance?” Hermione/Pansy Traps and Revelations (594 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Pansy has been enjoying watching others get trapped under misteltoe by Blaise's spells, until she's the one trapped and she finds out she doesn't know as much as she thought she did about how the spell works.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 24: For Sapphic September Day 24 using Day 5 prompt: SoulmateAU Hermione/Pansy A Rock Big Enough for Two (621 words, General Audiences) Summary: Hermione has been waiting for so long to find her soulmate, but she'd given up hope of discovering them at Hogwarts after so many years.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 25: Halloween or “We’ll get through this together.” Lavender/Parvati (Parvender) No Monsters Here (262 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Parvati finds Lavender in a pool of blood during the Battle of Hogwarts and manages to find a working floo to take her to St. Mungo's.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 26: Demons&Angels!AUor Apocalypse!AU Ginny/Luna Don’t Ever Forget (357 words, Teen and Up) Summary: The war never got to a point of winners and losers, the nightmarish creatures Voldemort drew to his side grew beyond his control until it was no longer about 'us' and 'them', but about everyone just trying to survive.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 27: Blind Date or Prison!AU Hermione/Pansy If They Only Knew (660 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Hermione and Pansy's friends set them up on a blind date.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 28: Gold or Dreams Ginny/Luna Don’t Lose the Dream (449 words, General Audiences) Summary: Luna loves to tell Ginny about her strange dreams, and Ginny loves to hear them, even if they are often nonsensical.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 29: “You’ve always felt like home.”or Road Trip Fleur/Tonks Loving the Clumsy (276 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Tonks has a rather extreme potions accident, Fleur takes it in her stride.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

Day 30: Wedding or Disney!AU Ginny/Pansy A Race Just to Ask (277 words, Teen and Up) Summary: Ginny plans to propose to Pansy at Angelina and George's wedding. Ron has some news that puts a rush on things.

(AO3 | Tumblr)

[dramioneficindex]

Title: Where the Magic Is Author: argosy Rating: T Genre(s): Crime, Romance, Drama Chapters: 1 Word Count: 11,411 Summary: After Dumbledore’s death, Draco Malfoy vanished without a trace. Ten years later he may have re-emerged as a robber of Muggle banks. Can a bushy-haired gal from Magical Law Enforcement find happiness in the arms of a grey-eyed Master Criminal? Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Alternate Links: ff.net | LJ  Published: January 31, 2006 Themes: Swimming, Teaching/Tutoring [Draco teaches Hermione], Travel [Fiji] Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Ministry Employee [MLE] Locations: Draco’s Flat/House, Hermione’s Flat/House, Ministry of Magic Characters: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Original Character

Title: Where the Sidewalk Ends Author: Hiko Mokushi/plural_entity Rating: PG-13 Genre(s): Humor Chapters: 1 Word Count: 5,004 Summary: Hermione’s overworking herself, while not working to her best simultaneously. She’s avoiding her friends and spending long hours by herself, locked up in her apartment. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: June 13, 2006 Locations: Hermione’s Flat/House Side Pairings: Ron/Pansy Friendships: Hermione & Blaise, Hermione & Harry Characters: Blaise Zabini, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Pansy Parkinson Warnings: Language

Title: Where The Wild Flowers Grow Author: maddycharlie Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Hurt/Comfort Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,519 Summary:“The wonderful thing about today father is that I will return to a home filled with love and what you think doesn’t matter.” Established relationship; Dramione. Complete. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: August 2, 2013 Relationship: Already Married Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Abraxas]

Title: Where There’s a Will Author: grangerinvestigations Rating: M/R Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 30 Word Count: 78,358 Summary: Lucius Malfoy has left a rather surprising will: if Draco works for Hermione for one year, both he and S.P.E.W. will inherit thirty million galleons. Of course, they might kill each other first… Not epilogue compliant. Rated M for language.  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: June 29, 2008 Completed: January 16, 2009 Themes: Conflict/Bickering, Co-workers/Office/Partners, Events/Celebrations [Ball], Flowers, Matchmaking/Blind Date [Matchmakers: Theo & Original Character], Quidditch/Flying, S.P.E.W. Draco: Draco’s Feelings, Quidditch Player [Seeker], Snarky Hermione: Bossy, Campaigner, Feisty, Hermione is Draco’s Boss Locations: Hermione’s Flat/House, Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Blaise/Pansy Friendships: Draco & Theo, Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron, Hermione & Ginny, Hermione & Original Characters, Hermione & Theo Characters: Blaise Zabini, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Narcissa Malfoy, Original Characters, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Teddy Lupin, Theodore Nott, Viktor Krum Character Deaths: Lucius Malfoy

Title: Where Two Raging Fires Meet Author: RZZMG Rating: MA/NC-17 Genre(s): Angst, Drama, Fluff, Humor, Romance Chapters: 5 Word Count: 13,745 Summary: Everything changes during seventh year. One evening, Hermione Granger catches Draco Malfoy out after curfew in the library, reading the famous works of William Shakespeare. His new-found respect for Muggle literature leads to a series of bizarre interactions between them that permanently alters their fundamental understanding of each other and, in Draco’s case, turns his whole belief system on its head. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7, War Fest/Exchange: Otter and Ferret Published: April 22, 2014  Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Unnamed Girl] Themes: Shakespeare Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Emotional, Feisty, Head Girl, Know-It-All, Order Member Locations: Astronomy Tower, Divination Tower, Hogwarts Library, Slytherin Dungeons, The Burrow, Visiting Opposite Hogwarts House [Hermione visits Slytherin dungeons] Friendships: Hermione & Harry Characters: Alastor Moody, Albus Dumbledore, Arthur Weasley, Bill Weasley, Cormac McLaggen, Harry Potter, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Remus Lupin, Ron Weasley, Sirius Black Featured Holidays: Valentine’s, Easter

Title: Where We Belong Author: cleotheo Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Mystery Chapters: 19 Word Count: 50,781  Summary: A tragedy robbed Hermione of the wizard she loved during the war, but she managed to move on with her life with some help from her friends. But what happens when Hermione starts seeing a face from the past? Is she imagining her dead boyfriend, or is there something more sinister at work? Is Draco really alive, or is Hermione just losing her mind?  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: March 1, 2016 Completed: April 29, 2016 Relationship: Past Relationship, Positive Reactions Pregnancy/Children: Child [Kayleigh Cassiopeia] Themes: Injuries [Draco], Disguises, Misunderstanding, Wedding Planning, Travel, Potions [Polyjuice], Dreams, Meet Again, Disabilities [Draco walks with a cane] Draco: Business Man, Vulnerable Hermione: Shop Owner, Vulnerable  Side Pairings: Hermione/Ron, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Daphne Friendships: Hermione and Harry, Hermione and Ron Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Blaise Zabini, Theo Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Daphne Greengrass Anti-Characters: Anti-Lucius, Anti-Pansy Pro-Characters: Pro-Ron 

Title: Whiplash Author: dizzydragon Rating: T Genre(s): Drama, Humor Chapters: 1 Word Count: 9,700 Summary: Dealing with Draco Malfoy’s sudden involvement with the Order and his subsequent heroantics isn’t easy for Hermione. But some things change.  Status: Complete Timeline: War Published: May 9, 2005 Relationship: Engaged/Married (at some point), Friendship Draco: Order Member, Redeemed, Snarky, Whiner Hermione: Order Member Locations: Grimmauld Place, Hogwarts Express Characters: Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Remus Lupin, Ron Weasley

Title: Whips, Chains and Prisoners of Love Author: kutnerlove Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Hurt/Comfort Chapters: 25 Word Count: 28,108 Summary: Hermione is taken prisoner by the Death Eaters and given to Draco as a slave for public breaking in. Draco is unwilling b/c of their history and the newfound disgust he has for Voldemort’s followers. Can he save a girl who was once his enemy? Status: Complete Timeline: War Published: August 25, 2009 Completed: October 13, 2009 Relationship: Engaged/Married (at some point) Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Aurora, Scorpius, Sophia, Thaddeus Brian, Augustus Nathan], Pregnancy/Child Birth Themes: Kidnapping/Imprisonment [Hermione] Draco: Death Eater, Redeemed Hermione: Slave Locations: Grimmauld Place, Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Bill/Fleur, Fred/Angelina, Harry/Ginny, Percy/Penelope, Remus/Tonks, Ron/Luna Characters: Arthur Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Lucius Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, Narcissa Malfoy, Molly Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin, Ron Weasley, Severus Snape, Teddy Lupin, Voldemort 

Title: Whispers Author: Musyc Rating: MA Genre(s): Plot? What Plot? Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,776 Summary: He tells her what he’s going to do to her. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 8 Fest/Exchange: hp_kinkfest Alternate Links: AO3 | LJ Published: February 4, 2011 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Locations: Potions Class Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Title: Whispers Author: yesterdayschild4 Rating: K+ Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,547 Summary: Set during the war. Hermione has always wanted to call him Draco. Status: Complete Timeline: War Published: September 13, 2005 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Themes: Cuddling/Spooning

Title: Whispers and Moans Author: booboomagoo Rating: MA Genre(s): Angst, Drama, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4,124 Summary: Hermione can’t let go of the one thing that got her through a seemingly endless war. Instead, she sifts through whispers and moans, searching for what might not be there at all. Status: Complete Timeline: War Published: July 29, 2011 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Themes: Apologies [Draco] Draco: Order Member Hermione: Emotional, Order Member Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations, Secondary Character Death

Title: Whispers In the Dark Author: littlemisslina Rating: M Genre(s): Angst, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1,841 Summary: Hermione and Draco enter what is purely a sexual relationship, one they both know must come to an end. So what happens to Draco when he finds out Hermione has fallen in love and is to marry his best mate, Blaise Zabini? Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: dramionelove Valentine’s Fic and Art Fest Published: February 17, 2013 Relationship: Sex Only Themes: Love Triangle [Draco/Hermione/Blaise] Draco: Emotional Hermione: Emotional, Short Hair Side Pairings: Hermione/Blaise Friendships: Draco & Blaise Characters: Blaise Zabini Warnings: Implied Sexual Situations, Drinking, Swearing, Infidelity.

Title: White Butterflies Author: Priah  Rating: PG-13/T Genre(s): Drama, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 6,820 Summary: Interesting twist on the classic anonymous letter exchange. Draco’s  relationship with his girlfriend is suffering (or perhaps not) because of his obsession with the anonymous girl known only to him as Deborah of Judges. When he gets a letter, speckled with blood, he thinks he may have lost her. He had no idea who she is or where she lives; can he find her in time?  Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Fest/Exchange: qo_ficexchange  Published: December 1, 2004 Themes: Driving [Draco & Hermione], Letters Side Pairings: Draco/Original Character

Title: White Flag Author: ashleyfanfic Rating: T Genre(s): Romance/Drama Chapters: 3 Word Count: 15,463 Summary: After their break up, Draco and Hermione are having a hard time dealing with the fallout. Status: Complete Timeline: Year 6, Post Hogwarts/Post War Published: January 24, 2004 Completed: March 10, 2004 Relationship: Engagement/Marriage Pregnancy/Children: Children [Colin] Themes: Breakup, Misunderstandings Draco: Emotional Hermione: Emotional Locations: Library, Black Lake Friendships: Hermione and Harry Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley

Title: White Wedding Author: Reetinkerbell Rating: T Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3,752 Summary: Finally, it is Draco and Hermione’s wedding day.  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Published: May 7, 2006 Themes: Wedding/Honeymoon [Draco/Hermione’s] Draco: Redeemed Characters: Ginny Weasley, Grangers [Dan and Jane], Lucius Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, Molly Weasley, Narcissa Malfoy

Title: White, Grey, Black Author: DaniAndTheChocolateFactory  Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Hurt/Comfort Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4,549 Summary: Hermione has lost her freedom, her friends, her family, and her name. War-Dramione, Angsty, Mature. Status: Complete Timeline: War Published: July 31, 2011 Relationship: Forbidden Love/Secret Relationship Themes: Adultery [Ron cheats on Hermione, Hermione cheats with Draco], Apologies [Draco], Injuries [Draco], Kidnapping/Imprisonment [Draco], Scars [Hermione] Draco: Death Eater, Snarky Hermione: Order Member Locations: Grimmauld Place Side Pairings: Hermione/Ron, Ron/Lavender Characters: Remus Lupin

Title: Who Am I? Author: MorningSnow Rating: NC-17 Genre(s): Plot? What Plot?  Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2,914 Summary: Draco is trapped in a sexy guessing game and gets his reward  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Published: February 1, 2014 Themes: Co-workers/Office/Partners, Games/Challenges/Dares [Game]

Title: Who Could’ve Thought That Author: Lerysakon Rating: K Genre(s): Family/Humor Chapters: K Word Count: 9,543 Summary: ��Enlighten me, Granger, as to why you are being referred to as Professor Granger.” Sorting. A new professor. The children make new friends. And Hermione has something to reveal – who is this mystery man of hers? DMHG Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: May 13, 2012 Completed: May 13, 2012 Relationship: Already Married, Positive Reactions, Revealing their Relationship Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Scorpius, Aries, Taurus, Leo] Themes: Returning, Reunion Draco: Witty  Hermione: Hogwarts Professor Locations: Hogwarts Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Neville/Luna, Ron/Pansy Characters: Albus Severus Potter, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, James Sirius Potter, Luna Lovegood, Minerva Mcgonagall, Neville Longbottom, Original Characters, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Teddy Lupin, Victoire Weasley

Title: Who Needs Friends  Author: camnz Rating: M Genre(s): Drama, Romance Chapters: 47 Word Count: 94,803 Summary: Friends prove difficult as Hermione and Blaise start dating, especially his friends. Malfoy is particularly offended by Hermione’s presence on the scene. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-war Published: February 3, 2012 Completed: April 6, 2013 Relationship: Engaged/Married (at some point), Fake Relationship Themes: Alcohol, Cooking/Baking [Hermione], Dancing, Events/Celebrations [Ministry Function, Parties], Jealousy, Sharing a Bed, Swimming, Travel [Italy; Paris; France; Egypt], Weddings [Harry/Ginny’s, Theo/Daphne’s] Draco: Smoker, Snarky, Snob, Witty Hermione: Feisty, Know-It-All, Ministry Employee, Witty Locations: Diagon Alley, Hermione’s Flat/House, Malfoy Manor, Ministry of Magic, The Burrow, The Leaky Cauldron Side Pairings: Hermione/Blaise, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Katie, Draco/Original Character, Cormac/Lavender, Neville/Luna, Theo/Daphne, Theo/Astoria Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Pansy, Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron, Hermione & Ginny Characters: Adrian Pucey, Astoria Greengrass, Blaise Zabini, Cormac McLaggen, Daphne Greengrass, Ginny Weasley, Grangers, Harry Potter, Katie Bell, Lavender Brown, Lucius Malfoy, Marcus Flint, Narcissa Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Theodore Nott  Character Birthdays: Draco

Title: Who Really Cares? Author: teenage_hustler Rating: MA/NC-17 Genre(s): Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 4,919 Summary: Draco has to complete a report for the Minister of Magic, but in order to do that he needs information from a certain someone that he has been avoiding for years. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Fest/Exchange: dramione_duet Published: October 16, 2009 Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Healer Locations: Hermione’s Flat/House, St. Mungo’s Friendships: Draco & Harry, Draco & Ginny Characters: Ginny Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt

Title: Who Trumps Who? Author: margaritama Rating: MA Genre(s): Dark Chapters: 1 Word Count: 9,918 Summary: Draco remembers what it is to be a Malfoy. He has every intention of destroying Ron Weasley, slowly and methodically. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-war, EWE Alternate Links: AFF  Published: August 3, 2009 Completed: August 4, 2009 Relationship: Engaged/Married (At Some Point), Friendship, Narcissa Approve/Is Nice Pregnancy/Children: Children Names [Cassiopeia, Scorpius] Themes: Blackmail, Endearments, Jealousy, Unrequited Love Draco: Broody, Business Man, Dark, Manipulative Hermione: Feisty Locations: Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Harry/Pansy, Hermione/Ron, Blaise/Ginny Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Pansy, Draco & Theo, Hermione & Pansy Characters: Arthur Weasley, Blaise Zabini, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Theodore Nott Anti-Characters: Anti-Ron Warnings: Explicit Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Unresolved Sexual Tension

Title: Who Would Have Guessed? Author: mayarox95 Rating: T Genre(s): Romance, Drama Chapters: 31 Word Count: 44,690  Summary: After the war, chaos is still at large. To prevent this, Dumbledore requests the marriage of two certain individuals to allow for unity to be shown. Can Draco and Hermione get along long enough to prove to everyone that the world can come together once more?  Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: June 25, 2012 Completed: July 23, 2012 Relationship: Forced Marriage,  Pregnancy/Children: Children [Scorpius, Carina, Elara] Themes: Forced Marriage, Kidnapping and Imprisonment [Hermione], Abuse and Assault, Dating, Proposals, Events and Celebrations [Ball], First Date, Sharing a Bed, Sharing Clothing Draco: Redeemed, Spy, Auror Hermione: Virgin, Healer, Compassionate Locations: Malfoy Manor, Hermione’s Flat/House Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Hermione/Ron, Ron/Pansy, Ron/Luna Friendships: Hermione and Ginny, Hermione and Ginny, Draco and Harry Characters: Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley, Narcissa Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Dumbledore Anti-Characters: Anti-Ron, Anti-Lucius 

Title: Who’s Your Daddy?  Author: sandi_wandi Rating: M/R Genre(s): Humor Chapters: 2 Word Count: 16,179 Summary: “You wonder if they never want to marry because they are smart enough to know you can only forget about your life in the company of people who are not part of your life.” – Girls, Nic Kelman Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, EWE Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: December 5, 2007 Pregnancy/Children: Artificial Insemination, Pregnancy/Child Birth Draco: Redeemed Hermione: Feisty Locations: Cafe, Hermione’s Flat/House Side Pairings: Harry/Pansy Friendships: Draco & Pansy, Draco & Ron, Draco & Harry, Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron Characters: Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Pansy Parkinson, Ron

Title: Whole and Against a Wide Sky Author: phlox/phloxness Rating: MA/NC-17 Genre(s): Drama, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 9,852 Summary: She turned to look at him, staggered by what she and Draco had again passed through together, struggling to grasp what their future could hold. Because the thing was, it wasn’t simple to be Draco and Hermione, and it never would be. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War AU Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Alternate Links: FF.net  Published: May 8, 2011 Relationship: Already Married Themes: Insecurity, Marriage Law Draco: Broody, Redeemed Hermione: Blushing Virgin, Emotional, Feisty, Know-It-All Locations: Malfoy Manor Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Justin/Pansy Friendships: Draco & Pansy Characters: Lucius Malfoy Warnings: Sexual situations

Title: Whose Side Are You On, Anyway? Author: SevenGee Rating: T Genre: Romance/Humor  Chapters: 1 Word Count: 10,043 Summary: When infamous couple of the moment Draco and Hermione suddenly break things off, the students of Hogwarts are in an uproar, unabashedly taking sides left, right and centre. Whose side are you on, anyway? Status: Complete Timeline: Hogwarts years Published: September 26, 2010 Relationship: Breakup/Together Again Side Pairings: Draco/Pansy, Hermione/Other Friendships: Draco and Blaise

Title: Why Draco Malfoy Suffers From Post-coital Narcolepsy Author: emm178/somandalicious Rating: R Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 1 Word Count: 6,496 Summary: A little trip to the Healer was all Draco needed to cure his strange condition. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War, AU Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Alternate Links: ff.net Published: March 14, 2007 Themes: Endearments/Pet Names, Healer/Patient [Healer: Hermione, Patient: Draco] Hermione: Bossy, Feisty, Healer, Know-It-All Locations: Draco’s Flat/House, Other Bars/Pubs/Clubs Side Pairings: Draco/Original Characters, Blaise/Pansy Friendships: Draco & Blaise, Draco & Pansy Characters: Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson Featured Holidays: Valentine’s

Title: Why Draco Should Not Be Using Tampons Author: Padfoot the Marauder Rating: M Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 14 Word Count: 34,268 Summary: Draco and Hermione, like all newly appointed Head Boys and –Girls  before them, are assigned to switch bodies for the first week of term to ensure a prosperous collaboration between them in the future.  Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7 Alternate Links: AFF | LJ Published: June 27, 2004 Completed: July 20, 2011 Relationship: Engaged/Married (at some point) Themes: Apologies [Draco & Hermione], Baths/Showers, Body Switch, Head Boy/Head Girl, Massages [Draco and Hermione massage each other], Polyjuice [Draco & Hermione], Sharing a Bed Draco: Auror, Redeemed, Snarky Hermione: Auror, Blushing Virgin, Bossy  Locations: Astronomy Tower, Great Hall, Gryffindor Tower, Heads’ Common Room, Malfoy Manor, Potions Class, Slytherin Dungeons, The Knight Bus, Transfiguration Class, Visiting Opposite Hogwarts House [Hermione visits Slytherin Dungeons/Table; Draco visits Gryffindor Tower/Table] Side Pairings: Harry/Luna, Dean/Ginny Friendships: Hermione & Harry, Hermione & Ron Characters: Bellatrix Lestrange, Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy, Minerva McGonagall, Neville Longbottom, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley, Seamus Finnigan, Vincent Crabbe

Title: Why I No Longer Hate Barley the Crup Author: certainswagger Rating: PG-13 Genre(s): Humor, Romance Chapters: 3 Word Count: 10,112 Summary: When Hermione Granger took in Barley the Crup, she had no idea what kind of mess she had gotten herself into. Status: Complete Timeline: Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Fest/Exchange: dmhgficexchange Published: November 24, 2007 Themes: Apologies [Hermione], Cooking/Baking, Magical Creatures [Crup] Draco: Redeemed Locations: Cafe, Hermione’s Flat/House Side Pairings: Harry/Ginny, Hermione/Ron Characters: Ginny Weasley

Title: Wicked Game Author: cleotheo Rating: M Genre(s): Romance, Drama Chapters: 35  Word Count: 96,641 Summary: When Dumbledore discovers that Hermione is The Dark Lord’s daughter and is working against the light, he vows to use the lies she’s told against her and tie her loyalties to the Order. However, Voldemort and the dark are not willing to let the Order just take Hermione and they will go to any lengths to get her back where she belongs - at the heart of the dark side. Dark Hermione! Status: Complete Timeline: Year 7, Post-Hogwarts/Post-War Published: September 25, 2017 Completed: November 30, 2017 Relationship: Boyfriend/Girlfriend Pregnancy/Children: Child [Scorpius] Themes: Memory Modification [Hermione], Curses and Spells, Potions, Accidental Pregnancy, Kidnapping and Imprisonment [Hermione], Dueling, Betrayals/Deception, Death Eaters, Safehouse, News and Gossip Draco: Death Eater, Draco’s Feelings, Dark Hermione: Death Eater, Riddle, Feisty, Dark Locations: Malfoy Manor, The Burrow Characters: Voldemort, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Severus Snape, Ginny Weasley, Bellatrix Lestrange, Original Character, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Daphne Greengrass, Theo Nott, Blaise Zabini, Bill Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley        Character Deaths: Ron, Molly, Harry, Dumbledore Character Point of View/POV:  Anti-Characters: Anti-Dumbledore, Anti-Ron, Anti-Harry, Anti-Order Warnings: Rape, Non-con, Dub-con, Torture 

[janetbrown711]

Do you think you could write a little something for your "Angelina I lives" AU where maybe we see one of Angelina I's lessons with Yakko, but AFTER the whole fiasco of when he bit her? To see how they would interact? Love your AU btw <3

Yakko wasn't one to use the word "hate" lightly, but he could say with all the confidence in the world that he hated his grandmother.

At first, he had been willing to give her a shot. After all, she was his grandmother and people were supposed to respect their elders and those they were related to. He had been willing to listen, to take part in her lessons, and see if what she said made a little bit of sense.

However, the moment she hit Wakko, all of his respect for her evaporated.

He lashed out and bit her. He didn’t think when he did it, but afterward, he had no regrets. It was only fair.

Sure, his mother told him he shouldn’t do something like that ever again, but Yakko knew that if she were to try and lay a finger on Wakko ever again, he wouldn’t hesitate. After all, it was his dad who told him an older brother’s job was to protect. 

So, naturally, when his mom informed him that he still had to take lessons with his grandmother, he was upset. However, his mother reminded him that none of them really had a say in it and Yakko understood it was just something he was going to have to do, especially when he saw the pain in her eyes. He didn’t want her to worry about him any more than she already did, so he agreed to do it. 

However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to do this his way. 

“Remember what we said: you aren’t going to try anything with your grandmother,” his father practically read his mind. 

“Why not?” Yakko sighed dramatically. “She deserves it.”

“Because we care about you very much and don’t want what happened to Wakko to happen to you,” William explained softly. 

“So no biting?” He asked. 

“Definitely no biting. Her arm is still healing from last time,” Willaim suppressed a chuckle. 

“Just... remember, it’s often better to fight with the pen rather than the sword. Much less blood is spilled that way,” William said. 

“So... you’re saying it’s never okay to bite?” Yakko asked. 

“Not exactly... there are certain situations...” William said cautiously. “It’s just... your grandmother is one who prefers the sword over pen, and it causes people to fear and hate her, and none of the issues actually get solved,” he explained. Yakko nodded. 

“But that’s not to say there aren’t moments where your hand is forced... like, for example, if invaders were in the castle and people were attacking. Then it’s okay. Self-defense is perfectly fine,” William said, nodding to himself. 

“Or if someone were to attack Wakko?” Yakko suggested. William caught onto what he was doing and smiled a little. 

“Or if someone was attacking Wakko, that’d be alright too,” He winked. 

“I’m not saying what you did was wrong, Yakko. I’m just saying that there’s a very large risk factor in attacking your grandmother. Whether or not we like it, she’s in charge, and if you attack her she’ll likely attack back. That’s why words are better than getting physical with her, because no matter what, you won’t be ready for those consequences,” William explained, and Yakko finally understood. 

“Okay... I won’t bite her,” He said. William gave him a side hug as they finally arrived at Angelina’s study. 

“Well... we told her we wanted someone to go in with you at all times, but seeing as she has no respect for us or our wishes, there probably won’t be,” He sighed. “But you’ll be on your best behavior, correct?” 

“As best as I can,” he chose his words carefully, still intent on doing it his way. 

“Good,” William smiled. “You’ll be alright then, won’t you?” 

“Bye dad,” Yakko gave his dad a hug before going in. 

“Yakko. There you are,” Angelina looked at him with an unsettling smile.

“Here I am,” He said, not knowing how to respond, and he quickly sat in his usual spot. 

“We’ll begin with dining etiquette- What are-?”

“Salad, then dinner on the left. Salad knife, spoon, soup spoon, then oyster fork on the right,” He grinned. 

“That wasn’t what-”

“Oh! Hors d’oeuvres, amuse-bouche, soup, appetizer, salad, fish, first main course, palate cleanser, second main course, cheese, dessert, and mignardise,” He listed off. Angelina shot him a look. 

“Your impertinence is dually noted, Yakko. Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing,” She said. 

“Whatever do you mean? That was what you were going to ask me, was it not?” He said. Angelina huffed. 

“It’s not proper to-”

“-to speak over one’s advisor, yes, but I argue that this is a much more efficient way to get through lessons,” he shrugged. 

“I’d argue otherwise,” She said dryly. “Now, how do you-”

“Fan folds are done by folding a large square napkin in half to create a rectangle, creating pleats, then folding in half again so pleats are on top, then folding upper left corner down and tucking behind the center pleat, which creates a triangle, then releasing and letting the pleats fan out,” He said with his eyes closed. “However, I don’t really know why you’d want me to know such things, as napkin folding is traditionally done by servants of the castle and not done by the host.” 

“I instructed you to only read until the third chapter,” Angelina pointed out. 

“Why? So you’d set me up for failure so I wouldn’t know anything of what you were going to quiz me about?” Yakko smirked. 

“You forget who you are speaking to,” Angelina’s eye twitched. 

“I’m speaking to the queen, am I not? Or is the real queen somewhere hidden, because that would explain quite a few things-”

“That is enough, Yakko,” she glared, and Yakko wisely pulled back. 

“Well, seeing as your already so far ahead, why don’t I quiz you on your knowledge of history instead. What can you tell me about King Winston?”

“He’s dead,” Yakko said. 

“No-”

“He’s alive? Why isn’t he in charge then?” Yakko looked around the room. 

“No, he’s not-”

“Make up your mind, is the man dead or alive? Goodness,” He shook his head. 

The queen growled. “Did your mother put you up to this?” she asked, borderline fuming. Yakko raised an eyebrow and shook his head. 

“Don’t lie to me, boy. I’d recognize that smartassery anywhere,” She glared. “If that impertinent child doesn’t stop, I swear-”

“No! I did this all on my own,” He quickly said. “Mom had nothing to do with this.”

“Trying to be the hero now?” She raised an eyebrow, before a little smile grew on her face. 

“Perhaps this will get you to pay attention then,” She said, going to one of the shelves and selecting a book. Yakko bit his lip nervously. 

“Tell me, Yakko, what do you see here?” she said, showing him an illustration in the book. 

“A really tall tower? Why are you showing me that?” He questioned. 

“It’s a special room in the castle for those who disobey my orders. However, seeing as you love to play hero, if you don’t stop with the smart talk, I’ll throw your little brother or maybe even your mother in there for a week with no food,” She explained coldly. 

“You wouldn't do that to your own daughter,” He said. 

“I’ve done far worse than your little head can imagine,” She said, taking the book from his hands. 

Yakko felt a wave of empathy for his mother. 

“So... are you going to let me talk now? Or are you going to continue with the smart talk and have your brother and mother punished?” She grinned. 

“Dad would free them. He’s strong,” Yakko pointed out. 

“Oh? So you’re saying I should lock him in the dungeon underground while they remain above? What a splendid idea,” Her eyes shone. 

“No!” He protested. 

“Then do we have an agreement?” She asked. Yakko bit his lip once more, partially considering just biting her again. If he could just even the playing field just a little bit...

“Whether or not we like it, she’s in charge, and if you attack her she’ll likely attack back,” His father’s words from earlier rang in his mind. He probably should’ve listened so this threat wouldn’t have happened. Yakko sighed. 

“Yes,” He said, taking a silent vow to make up for this minor setback in any way he could- to attempt to lower the playing field just a smidge. 

“Good,” She smiled. “Let’s return...”

Queen Angelina then began to lecture, and Yakko stopped paying attention. Instead, he thought about what to do next. 

Perhaps him and Wakko could set up elaborate pranks around the castle, and watch her go mad trying to figure out who did it. 

No, she’d probably know it was the only two children in the castle, and Wakko would be punished. 

Maybe he could talk back in a more subtle way.

No, that was him trying to be subtle. It was very clearly not his strength. 

Maybe he could try talking her into giving him different tutors?

That wasn’t likely to work, as she made it clear from day one she was to be in charge. 

Maybe if he let her choose?

No, she’d never agree to that much. 

He was stuck with her. For the moment anyway... perhaps he’d think of something better in time when she cooled down and wasn’t expecting anything. 

Yes, that was what he’d do; wait a month or two for her to relax, act like her perfect little prince, and then start back with the quips, but not too strong like today. He’d work on his “i’m not technically wrong” strategy too, it clearly needed work. 

Yes, that’d work. Maybe if he wore her out or drove her insane over time she’d leave him and his family alone. 

He could only hope anyway. 

Yakko sighed, feeling bad for his mom and dad. This whole protector business was hard work, and they’ve been doing it as long as he’s been alive. 

That was why he had to do it though, they deserved a break. Yakko could handle the responsibility. 

He was going to wear her out so slowly but effectively she would no longer want anything to do with any of them, and then they could all be happy and his parents would never have to worry about her ever again, not if he had anything to say about it. 

After all, it’s a big brother’s job to watch over and protect, and that was what Yakko intended to do.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8