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#and if that trickles to me needing a new psychiatrist for my meds again after i finally found someone i like I'll start crying
cimeriansparrow · 5 months
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Sister's therapist called child protective services on my mother!!
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The Crackship Sails to Molly’s Natalie Manning x Stella Kidd
written by @anotheronechicagobog​
warnings: swearing, mention of homophobia, Manning isn’t Nat’s maiden name, she changed it when she got married, just saying, Helen’s kindof a bitch, canon compliant accidents, implied artificial insemination, implied/mentioned smut
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They had absolutely no idea how they ended up there. Well, that wasn’t strictly true... Molly’s and ladies’ nights. And tequila, tequila was definitely at fault here. For their hangovers and their nudity under the covers. Unfortunately, the tequila didn’t take their memories, so they knew exactly what they did. Or who they did, rather. And the answer was each other.
After Natalie’s awkward exit from Stella’s apartment above the Hermann house, Stella made quick work of the dirty dishes from their breakfast. She couldn’t help but think back to the previous night. They were so drunk, but Natalie was so hot and Stella just felt something inside her snap. It had felt like a coil, but everything that she and Nat did last night, it all just felt so right, so satisfying. She felt like she was on a high. There was no way she was going to last long without having sex with Natalie again, she could already feel herself going crazy.
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As it turned out, she wasn’t the only one feeling that way. And so, their friends with benefits relationship began. Stella was a bit nervous, she had a two-year-old son and a pretty crazy mother in law. But it felt so right. Until it felt more than right, and both women knew they were in trouble. It started with cuddling after sex and lead to watching movies in the afternoon and lingering touches and longing looks. But one rainy Sunday afternoon, they were cuddled on Natalie’s brand new GRÖNLID, and suddenly it just hit both of them. They were dating, in secret, but dating. Natalie licked her lips and looked Stella in the eye. “Will you go on a date with me?” Stella cradled her face gingerly, placing a soft kiss on her lips. “I would love to.”
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It became obvious to Helen very quickly that Natalie was seeing someone, and the thought made her stomach heavy. She knew it wasn’t fair of her to hate the idea of Natalie moving on, but she couldn’t help it. She only had one son. She only wanted one son. And he was gone.
So when Owen was picked up by someone else while Natalie was at work, months after Helen knew she had officially begun dating him, Helen lost it. Her mouth turned bitter as she drove to the hospital, fully prepared to scream at her daughter-in-law in front of her coworkers. When she got to MED she barely remembered to throw her car in park before slamming the door and marching past everyone. The people waiting, nurses, secretaries, the only one who was able to stop her was Maggie. “Helen, hi. How are you? You know you can’t be back here right?”
“I’m here to see Natalie, move.”
“Okay, no. You do not get to speak to me like that ever, much less so in my ED. Drop the attitude. Now.”
“It’s too soon, Maggie, it’s only been-”
“Four years. It has been four years Helen, I’m not going to pretend I know what you’re going through, but I know that it is absolutely no excuse for acting the way you are. You are not entitled to Natalie’s love life, and you still haven’t apologized to me. And since you’re not in an emergency medical situation and I do not feel like dealing with your BS right now, you need to leave.”
“Maggie you can’t-”
“I’ll call security.”
“Don’t interfere with something that-”
“Security, escort this woman off the premises, please and thank you.” The two security guards Maggie had summoned with a raised eyebrow ended up dragging Helen out kicking and screaming. All while Natalie watched in heartbreak. Was it really that awful that she didn’t want to be alone and empty for the rest of her life?
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Because of the incident at MED Nat and Stella decided it was time to sit Helen down and tell her that they were dating and to get over herself. Helen entered in a huff, somewhat pleased with herself that she finally got Natalie to admit she was seeing someone, but she would be lying her ass off if she said she wouldn’t give whoever this guy was shit for sneaking around with a widow. She didn’t see him though, only a Latina woman in a mustard sweater and jeans. “Alright, where is he?”
“Sit down Helen, you don’t’ get to talk to me that way.” Helen threw herself down onto the same chair she’d tossed her jacket and purse on while Natalie sat beside the woman on the light green couch. Helen felt all her rage and grief evaporate as she watched the two women intertwined hands. “I’m bisexual, Helen. So is Stella. I didn’t figure it out really until I met her. I guess a part of me always knew but I kind of ignored it, because, well, you know how people discriminate against LGBTQ people. But, she makes me so, so happy. And Owen just loves her.”
“Oh thank God.”
“Huh?”
“What?”
“Oh, I don’t care about sexualities, really. Love is love and anyone who tries to limit the love of others is a fool and a monster. Truthfully, this is a relief. I was so scared that you’d found a man to replace Jeff. You dating a woman is actually a lot more comfortable for me. I already approve.”
“While I’m glad Stella’s got your stamp of approval, you have to understand that your behaviour recently is unacceptable, right? You are not entitled to anything, and you owe both me and Maggie apologies.”
“You’re... Right. Completely right. There isn’t an excuse or a reason, not a good one anyway. I’m so sorry Natalie. Really, I am... That... That psychiatrist you work with, Dr. Charles, does he, uh, is he accepting patients? I think, I mean I’ve put it off for so long, I think it’s time that I talk to someone. About everything.”
“That sounds like a good idea, Helen, I’ll talk to him tomorrow for you.”
“Thank you. Now Stella, you’ve been very quiet during all this, I’d like to get to know you. What do you do?- Oh! And how long have you two been dating?”
“I’m a firefighter, and we’ve been dating for- eight months?”
“Around that, yeah.”
“That’s wonderful, how do you like being a firefighter?”
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After Helen apologized to everyone and started therapy, things got much calmer. She also became Stella and Natalie’s biggest supporter. Like tonight, she was always offering to babysit for date nights, and the couple took full advantage of that. They were dining out at an intimate restaurant, glad for some time with just the two of them. “So I read this story on Reddit on my break today about this guy who, completely sober, was shoving a toilet brush up his... You know, so that it looked like he had a bunny tail. You guys ever get anything crazy like that?”
“Yeah actually, we’ve got this frequent flyer for ambo who regularly gets high off his ass, draws weird, nonsensical symbols all over his body, then call to complain that he was assaulted by aliens.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, hey, I found The Italian Job on Netflix, the one with Jason Statham. Wanna watch it when we get back?”
“Oh, absolutely. I love his movies.”
“I know right?”
“He’s like the British Ryan Reynolds.”
“Yes! Exactly!”
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TWO YEARS LATER
Stella was just finishing up with the snacks for Owen’s fifth birthday party when the Hermann Horde arrived. “Hey guys! Nat’s just about done with the decorations, but she and Owen are out back.”
“When does Helen get here?”
“She should be here in fifteen, she picked up the cake from the bakery.”
“I thought you were a pretty good baker Stella, why from a bakery?”
“I can bake many things, but a cake for forty people that looks like a shark? Nope. Not that.”
“Owen really likes the ocean, doesn’t he?” Cindy looked around at all the ocean-themed decorations, the snacks dressed up to look like different sea creatures. “He really does, can’t say I blame him though. We go to the aquarium pretty frequently, and damn these little guys are amazing and beautiful.” The placed the last of the jellyfish sugar cookies on the platter and smiled. She really felt like Owen was her son, and as far as anyone was concerned, she was. It would even be official in a couple of months when she and Nat get married. “I love seeing you happy like this Stella.”
“Thanks, Cindy. It feels good.”
“It looks good too, you’re both just so bright and sometimes I swear that Natalie’s glowing.” Stella kissed the older woman on the cheek, biting her lip to keep from revealing that Natalie was glowing, and that they’d be welcoming another member into their family in around eight months.
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TWO MONTHS LATER
Natalie and Stella were overjoyed, they were finally wife and wife, recognized by the state as a family. Hearts full and warm, they danced in slow graceful circles, the skirts of both their gowns flowing in cloud-like motions around them. “I love you.”
“I love you too. So much.” The music from the orchestra trickled to an end, parting the smiling brides. “Ready to tell them?”
“Yes. I am so excited.” Kisses were exchanged before the blushing brides made their way up to the stage with their arms around each others’ waist. “First of all, we would like to thank everyone for being here to celebrate the best day of our lives.”
“Second of all, we have an announcement to make. Nat’s three months pregnant.” Stella and Natalie placed their hands over Nat’s abdomen, smiling misty tears as they were met with cheers from all of their family and friends, no one louder than Owen.
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FIVE YEARS LATER
While working in the ED Natalie had been a witness to numerous tragedies. She’d also been through a few herself. And Maggie, wise, gentle, loving, Maggie, always knew when the worst of the worst were about to come through. She got this look on her face as she answered the head nurse phone, meaning that it was someone they all knew. After a few whispered words with Ms. Goodwin Maggie’s guilt-ridden gaze settle on Natalie. “Nat, I need you to go wait in the doctor’s lounge.”
“Maggie? What’s going on?” In the back of her mind, in the depths of her heart, Natalie knew what was wrong. But she didn’t want to be right. She wanted to be so, so wrong. “Dr. Conte,” Natalie had realized two months into her and Stella’s relationship that she still had the name she took when she married Jeff at twenty years old and decided to go back to her maiden name. “You need to go wait in the doctor’s lounge.”
“Sharon, no-”
“Incoming! Thirty-three year old female, firefighter, inside an electrical fire when the house went. Halstead, Noah, April, you’re in treatment three.” The sounds of beeps and medical jargon couldn’t be heard above the buzzing in Natalie’s ears. Choi was holding her back, trying to drag her to the doctor’s lounge, stopping her from being with her wife. And then her BP dropped and she flatlined. The instructions given could not be heard by anyone outside of the room over Natalie’s horrified, deafening, soul-shattering scream.
And then it was back. One round of epi and she was back. Natalie broke down into heaving, gut-wrenching sobs in Ethan’s arms. He was the only thing keeping her from sliding to the floor, her legs had lost all their strength.
She didn’t remember sitting down, or getting any water or food. But suddenly she feels like she’s woken up and she has a bottle of water and thermos in her hands. “Eat.” Kelly Severide is beside her with a hand on her shoulder. Sylvie is handing her a spoon. Joe is handing her tissues. “Cindy and Helen are watching Owen and Celeste, don’t worry.” She’s drunk the entire water bottle and eaten five spoonful of soup when Maggie approaches her. “Maggie don’t tell me she’s gone- oh God, please no-”
“She’s fine. They’re closing her up now, she’ll recover just fine. Come on, I’ll take you to her recovery room. And bring that thermos. You’re going to finish eating even if I have to tie you down and feed you myself.”
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“Nat?” Stella had woken up, for good this time, and was staring at the love of her life as Connor and Crockett left the room. “You scared me. So, so much.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, just be alive. Please, just stay alive.” Nat kissed her forehead and stroked her hair as all her tears just couldn’t be held back anymore. “I know you love being a firefighter, and I love it too, I will never want you to give up a job that you are so kickass at, but please, please be more careful. I’m begging you.”
“Okay... I’ll be more careful.” Stella’s coughing fit was cured by a glass of water, and the aches in her bones were cured by the gentle hugs from her son and daughter when they saw her an hour later. “I love you.” She chanted to each of them. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” And she did, until she and Natalie were in their eighties and living in Fowlerton. They were found by their neighbour who went to check on them after he didn’t see them on their porch like he did every morning. Stll. Peaceful. Tangled together. In love until their very last breaths.
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journeyofdd · 7 years
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Well, here I am again.  Will it ever end?
It’s been a while since I last posted, and I'm so fucking frustrated that I'm still in the same place, a suicidal recovering alcoholic with borderline personality disorder.  I just feel like such a fuck up.  I’ve been in Pinelodge psychiatric clinic for over four weeks... I originally came in for a three day stay for my monthly top up for transcranial magnetic stimulation to treat my depression and anxiety, and then my stay was extended for a medication change of my antidepressants and a reduction in my sedative meds as I’d been sleeping my days and nights away for months and not really living.  I started to go downhill really fast when my doctor was weaning me off my antidepressants and putting me on a new one and my thoughts just got darker and darker.  I was crying out for help and telling anyone who would listen, my doctor, the psych nurses, but I still managed to get out to the shops and buy a box cutter before they realised how bad I was and cancelled my leave privileges.  In the next few days the nurses removed all of the cords from my room so that I couldn’t hang myself, and one afternoon they found me unresponsive for some unknown reason - I hadn’t taken anything or hurt myself, they just couldn’t wake me for twenty minutes or so.  In the time that I was out of it, the nurses searched my room and found the box cutter and confiscated it.  Just as well because I had a serious plan to use it that night.  I had it all planned out - around midnight after the nurses had done their hourly rounds I was going to lock myself in the bathroom and slash both of my wrists as  deep as I could.  I wanted nothing more than to die.  I wasn’t thinking of my loved ones, the people I would hurt, and have hurt before in my last suicide attempt nine years ago.  I was just in so much pain, emotional agony, that all I wanted to do was die.  I haven’t felt that way in a long time.  I don’t think I had ever wanted it that much, just to end it all.  Well once my box cutter was gone, I was absolutely desperate.  I couldn’t deal with what was going on inside my head, and I just wanted it to stop and be peaceful.  The nurses deemed me to be at such high risk that I had to be accompanied to go downstairs and have a cigarette in case I walked out the front door into traffic - another way that I was planning to either hurt myself or end my life.  I was on fifteen minute obs and having meals in my room, and they sent up my lunch and dinner to my room, plates, cutlery and all... Then I had an idea.  I had to send back my dinner plate, and the knife and fork were useless, but I kept the saucer.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to kill myself with a broken saucer, but I was sure as hell going to hurt myself as badly as I could.  I locked myself in the bathroom and put the saucer inside a towel and broke it quietly into jagged pieces and just started cutting my wrists.  It was such a relief to see that blood trickling down my wrists.  It was such a release and relief.  The problem was that I didn’t hide it well enough and when the nurse came in to check on me she told me how well I was doing, and how proud she was of me.  I told her that I wasn’t doing well at all and fessed up and showed her my wrists.  Gee, did the shit hit the fan then.  As they dressed my pathetic attempt at self harm, they called the nurse in charge and I don't know who called my psychiatrist at 9pm on a Saturday night, who came in and was less than thrilled with me and basically told me that as this was a private, voluntary, psychiatric clinic, it was not high dependency for people in my state and under the mental health act he was committing me to Dandenong hospital psychiatric, where it was high dependency, you couldn’t even get out of the unit.  So I spent two mind numbing nights there, the first time I had ever been in a public psychiatric unit.  It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, but I was probably the most unwell person there.  On Monday morning the nurses told me that the psychiatrist wanted to see me, and I assumed that it was the public psych, but when I walked into the room it was Pat, my private psychiatrist, to my great surprise.  We had a talk,well he talked, I mostly listened and cried.  He said that he would admit me back to Pinelodge again if I made a deal with him that I wouldn’t harm myself again, otherwise he would no longer be my treating psychiatrist.  I agreed.  Two hours later I was back at Pinelodge, having my threshold done for left sided transracial magnetic stimulation which is meant to help me more with my depression and anxiety.  I have been doing that for two weeks now and still have at least another week’s worth of treatment to go. The problem is I'm still feeling the same, constantly thinking of self harm and suicide, but I made a deal with my doctor that I wouldn’t self harm again, so I haven’t.  I am just so scared that when I go home I'll be in the same state and I will follow through my plans and hurt myself, or worse, leaving my Mum to find me and break her heart.  I even have a plan of how and where I would do it.  Totally selfish.  I wouldn’t even be allowed a Catholic funeral if I committed suicide, technically, but then again times have changes and I would hope that the priest understands mental illness and would look the other way.  I’ve even got my funeral songs picked out (see below on my songs links).  Another thing that is bothering me is that due to my feelings and actions I haven’t been to church in four weeks, because I feel that by self harming I have sinned and that if I went to church I couldn’t take communion, and that just makes me more upset.  The nurses here this morning asked me if I was going to church today and I broke down and fessed up, and they told me to organise the pastoral areas here to organise a Catholic priest to come in to hear my confession.  My doctor saw me yesterday and I tried to tell him how I was feeling, and he said that he thought that I was doing better, which totally shut me down - I thought, well if he thinks I'm doing better, just put on a brave face and go with it, but I can’t do that, it’s just too dangerous, I need to make him understand the truth.  My medications are still being adjusted, my antipsychotics have been decreased, then increased, then one of them changed and I’m starting on a higher dose this morning.  Will it ever change?  I just don’t see a happy ending in sight, I am in such a dark place.  Will I ever be well?  Will I ever be loved?  Will I ever be normal? I guess this is all one big, public cry for help, but I just don’t know how to do it on my own anymore, and part of the problem is that I don’t want to.  Friends, what do I do?  How do I come out the other die?  I know that even though I am in such a dark place, I want to come out the other side.  I want to get better.  I want some sense of normalcy.  Even though I do now, I don’t ultimately want to die at my own hand.  It’s so selfish and hurtful.  I just don’t know what to do.  I don’t know how to climb out of this hole.  I don’t know how too get better, and at the moment, sadly, I don’t even want to.  
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harley-quinnn · 7 years
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The Doctor
Joker x Reader Masterlist
{A/N} Hey there guys, I know it's been such a long time, but I suddenly felt re-inspired last night and started writing! Your requests are all in my drafts still, and I promise I'll get to them. I've just been facing some pretty crazy times right now. I hope you enjoy! xo Harley
Warnings: None, maybe super light violence but that's about it!
The doors swing open as you enter the ward that contains the infamous duo, Joker and Harley Quinn. Papers are being pushed at you, orderly are giving you updates, and you stop just before the doors of your office.
"Thank you, but today I think I may try a different approach," you say, soft spoken and meek as always.
Every staff member in the wing knows you're the sweetest psychiatrist there is, leading no one to understand just how you've been managing a position like this at Arkham Asylum. Sure, you preach kindness and compassion being a key component to making a break through in any patient, but the rest of the staff believes quite otherwise when facing Gotham's most heartless psychopaths.
The crowd leaves you to yourself as you step past the doors into your office, gathering a small leather notebook and a black pen. You're heading to your first session of the day, and quite possibly your favorite.
Your heels clack on the tile of the poorly lit and now empty hallway, faint screams and whispering fills the air. Being used to this now, you don't bat an eye.
"Don't do it, Doctor {Y/L/N}."
This particular voice causes you to stop. Heart suddenly beating quicker, you blink a few times before taking a few steps back- now standing in front of a cell most would never dare to linger around.
"Excuse me..?" You ask, your curious {E/C} eyes scanning behind the bars and into the darkness of the room in front of you.
A small snicker comes from the cell before pale, slender hands press against the glass and slide towards the bars on the doors tiny window.
"He's not gonna love you."
You're not sure why you've even begun to entertain this conversation. But something about it made you stay.
"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.."
The blondes eyes shown clearer than normal as they caught the dim light. The alley cat grin on her washed out lips grew wider. Orderly had explained to you already, that Harley had been cooperating more than usual lately- taking her meds, eating, answering questions better than before, but still no real answers. A thought flitters across your mind as you bring your notebook down to your side.
"How are you today, Harleen?"
She scoffs, rolling her eyes. Smile still plastered on her features.
"You think it's gonna be all fun and games. That, you're gonna go in there and help him out. Escape, even," she pouts, then smiles again. "I need you to do something for me," she says, mocking his gravelly tone. "And you'll do it. 'Cause you'd do anythin' for Mistah J.."
You tense up, suddenly on guard and defensive. A lump slides down your throat as you try to swallow.
"Have you taken your medicine today? You're being absurd, Doctor Quinzel. Well, more so than usual."
Harley's eyes stay locked on yours.
"I was in your position once too, {Y/N}."
"It's Doctor {Y/L/N}, Harleen. And I haven't the slightest idea what you're going on about."
"You're new," she giggles.
In fact, you know exactly what she's talking about. And you're afraid her new found willingness of cooperation and taking of medicine has cleared her thoughts enough to see what's going on. Almost afraid now, you clutch your notebook to your chest and shake your head. What could this bode for you? In love with the infamous Queen of Gotham's king?
"I'll be back to speak with you at around four-thirty for our session, Harleen."
You begin to walk towards Jokers cell again, attempting to shake off what just happened.
"Tell my puddin' I'll be waitin' for him.." you hear her whispering faintly, the sudden emotion in her voice sounding as though she were about to cry.
The last thing you wanted to do was have a clown mob hit on your head the size of Mount Everest. But you can't help how you feel. He'd turned on that faucet the day you met, allowing it to trickle slowly, slowly until he turned it on further and further. This had been a long time coming. Harley Quinn was not going to change that for you.
Besides, she's locked up and controlled, what's the worst that could happen?
A smile brightens your face as you see his room. It too is damask and dark, but you know he brightens it up with his own smile. Your keys jingle as the rain beats on the window, (a request you put in just for him, thinking the light of day and possible sound of rain or wind could serve as some therapy) and you hear him groan softly as he stretches his legs behind the glass.
"Doctor {Y/L/N}!" He exclaims sleepily. "I was waiting for you."
"I see that, Mister J," you say with a light grin, stepping into the room and closing the door behind you. "Have a nice nap?"
"It was.. alright. It could've been better, with a nicer bed... Say, maybe even someone to share it with."
A blush fills your cheeks as his cool eyes meet yours.
"Now, now," your tone is soft with him. He brings out the compassionate side in you that no other patient has before.
You sit down, the straight jacket he dons looks extra uncomfortable today. You bite your lip briefly and sit down in the chair opposite his couch, (another gift) wondering if taking it off might be a good thing.
That would depend on his progress today, you think.
"Harley misses you," you blurt out, quickly noticing your statement almost sounded harsh. You try to reel it back. "She's doing so well. Taking her medicine, she's even eating without force."
You know you aren't supposed to be discussing other patients, especially not Harley to Joker. It could be your job on the line. But you feel as though you have to gauge just what's going to take place here today. And well, if all goes well, maybe you won't need your job after all.
"Enough about her," he says, leaning slightly towards you. "I knew she'd go back to normal, eventually. It's just how she is.. can't trust anyone," he mumbles before pausing. "It's you, Doctor, that I want to discuss today."
You turn your face slightly, still meeting his gaze. His stare seems to pull every part of your soul from the depths of body.
"M-me?"
"Yes, you. You've shown me such kindness since I've been here this time, doctor. You oughta know that it's been.. playin' on my soft heart.."
"It has?" You ask breathless, leaning in now. Your {E/C} eyes are doe-like, and you hardly know what you're doing.
"Can I trust you, {Y/N}?" He asks, his grin endearing in your eyes.
"Yes, of course you can. You can always trust me. Always."
Hearing your first name spill from his lips like honey into a jar breaks your composure. You're leaned in closer, attention on him and only him, and you'd put a bullet between your own eyes if it meant he'd trust you.
"Would you be a doll, and.. take me outta this thing? It's so.. so.. uncomfortable!"
"Yes," you nod, carefully reaching over and undoing the belts on the jacket. You haven't noticed your breathing is heavier, but he has. A smirk places itself on his lips as he watches your face. Even he thinks you're gorgeous, but he'd never let you in on that.
"Ah..." he breathes as you place the jacket on the back of your own chair. Stretching his arms behind his head, he leans back again. Desperately, you want to be close to him. But you know you've got a job to do, still.
The notebook pages crinkle between your fingers as you turn them to an empty page. The pen glides across the paper, leaving a black ink trail of dots and lines before speaking to him.
You clear your throat gently. "So, how's the windowed room working?" You manage a sweet smile again, coming back to your inhibitions.
"Great. The suns warmth, the rains beauty. It all reminds me of you, Doctor."
The glass in your mind shatters all over again, and you pause momentarily before setting the notebook and pen down on the table beside you. Placing your hands in your lap, you look into his eyes with a longing.
"Let me help you, Mister J.."
He pulls back, the grin still on his face said nothing, but he seemed to almost know this was coming.
"Help me?" His voice bellows. "Just how would you plan to do that?"
You look around, the hallway was clear but you knew anyone could see or be there at any given moment with cameras and panic buttons everywhere.
"I.. I don't know, yet. But I can. If you could just hang on.. a few extra days.."
The wheels in your head are turning as you try to think of a way to get him out sooner. You just can't bear to see him in that jacket again.
"Honey, if you give me a little more credit, I could bust outta here myself.."
Honey.
"How? They'll see you, J.. And God knows what they'll do to you then.."
"Don't you worry your pretty little head about me."
Pretty.
"I.. Can I come with you?"
You can tell the laugh that escapes from him did just that, escape. He tries to quiet himself before laying a hand on your cheek. The warmth was not something you expected, and you press your face against his palm softly.
He moves inches from your face. Fear, intrigue, lust and admiration all wash over you at once. Your obsession with him has gotten out of hand, and you realize this once he stands up before you, ready to leave.
You stand and turn to face him.
"I wouldn't want a delicate little thing like you getting hurt out there, Doctor," he coos, reaching under the table for a gun and ammunition that had been hiding there all along. You had no idea, but in the moment, this didn't bother you, either.
You follow him out of the room, pain on your features. "I can deal with more than you may think," you say quietly, trying to convince him as you both make your way down the empty hall. He loads the gun, the clanking echoing off the walls as he becomes careless to the noise. The emptiness while a patient is escaping is almost eerie as you think about the lack of security around.
"Puddin'!" You hear an excited squeal coming from the cell that had stopped you before. A wave of worry flows over you, and you think you'll have no chance if he lets her out, too. You stop and lean against the wall as he steps in front of Harley's door.
"Baby, I thought I'd never see ya," you hear him say, his tone even more sultry than it had been with you, causing hurt to course through your veins.
They hold an exchange as you suddenly feel your cheeks growing hot. You touch your cheek now, looking at your hand in the dark. Tears. This mornings mascara melting down your face. Suddenly a loud bang clanks against the bars that frightens you, and you peek over at them.
"No! You're not leaving me again!" She yells at him.
"I gotta new one of you, Harls. You're becoming too... compliant, too... soft. This one though.. she'll do whatever I want. Just for me," he growls.
You straighten up as he walks over and grabs your arm, lugging you back in front of her door and wrapping an arm around you.
"Meet Doctor {Y/L/N}!" He laughs, pretending as though they’ve never met.
"What's up with you and psychiatrists?" She grumbles, pouting.
"What can I say, the most sane specimens of the human race just, get me.."
Suddenly, her toned arms slide through the bars, grabbing hold of you and pulling you back against them, causing strands of your hair to fall from your styling that day.
You feel something cold and sharp pressed against your throat, and start to feel like maybe this wasn't such a great idea as you can't escape her grip.
"I'll cut her throat, J," she says in haste. "Then what're ya gonna do?"
"Hmm.. find myself a new psych." He looks at her through bold eyes, laughing.
"I told you this wasn't gonna work, lady. I meant it," she roars into your ear.
Has she even been taking her meds at all? How did she get that knife? Better yet, a new psychiatrist? You vowed in your own mind never to disobey him, if you made it out of here alive.
A wave of people began to flood in, shouting orders and commands to control the situation. One by one, he gunned them down with a smile and a laugh. Patients began to scream, and distracted, Harley loosened her grip. You break free and look at her through the glass. 
Emotion written all over her face, she stares back at you. She smiles, leaning in to lick the glass slowly before screaming and throwing her fist into it where your face should be from her view.
He begins to walk away and the better side of your sanity kicks in, almost causing you to feel sorry for her as you follow him again. A twinge of light allows you to catch a glimpse of a tear on her tattooed cheek before you go.
"Where to now, Mister J?" You ask, your breathing labored from trying to catch up.
A loud, cackle fills the halls, bouncing in and out of the cells you pass, and he cocks the now reloaded gun.
"The bat cave, darling.”
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