#and im doing birthday dinner w my mom and i now realize why i felt like i didnt get enough attention as a kid :)))))))))))

[backwardblackbyrd]

:')

[elvispresleyslut]

DADDY’S BEST FRIEND, ELVIS PRESLEY

A hot summer day in Memphis was beautiful as ever but nothing could beat the beauty of Graceland for me. Ever since the age of 10 my father whom I happened to be close with was long time friends with the one and only Elvis Presley. All my life friends would beg for autographs, pictures, clothing samples as if I could just ask this man for a kind of thing like that.

Elvis was almost like a second dad to me I suppose.

Maybe not the best wording? Considering i've  been drooling over him like every other girl across this world since middle school. Here I am 19 soon to be 20 doing nothing with my life, lusting after a king who probably sees me as a kid who he can spoil all because he has too much money and not enough people he cares to spend it on.

That doesn't even make sense..

My birthday now was coming up on the too soon 30th of June.

My mother never made my life any easier for me. She definitely didn't make it easier for me to accept the party when i was informed that Elvis took it upon himself to host this god awful thing at Graceland.

"Mama we can't just intrude in his home like this and invite all these people from around town as if we even know they're damn names.." I whined following my mother upstairs in our small home.

She sighed and stopped in her steps, "Stop trying to get me to cancel it all because you have a little crush on him. He doesn't mind and it's free, You should be out thanking EP right now instead of crying in my ear." she ends her words with a huff and continues into my little brothers room, dropping a pile of clean clothes for him to fold and put away later.

"I do not have any crush on him, mama." I raise my voice boldly. "How many times am I gonna have to tell you that? The guys like 70.." I add for good measure. It doesn't work.

"You look at him the way your father looks at pie..now will you please leave your ole mom alone."

She teasingly rolls her eyes and walks back downstairs to start on dinner.

"Go see him, Kim. Thank the man for the love of god. He's precious and you know it. He didn't have to do this for you but he seemed more than happy to make your 20th special." She pulls out her apron tying it loosely around her wide hips. "Wear something nice!"

I groan grabbing a hold of my car keys. I couldn't take her determined mindset anymore. I felt like i needed to surround myself in negativity. Why would he want me at his house like that? What would Prescilla think? Im far too old to be having birthday parties at a family friends house, let alone Elvis's.

I soon pull up to his gate driving in without even realizing I was still wearing my bathrobe. Fuck fuck fuck.

"I gotta go back" I whisper shoving my key back in and buckling back in. I begin to let my foot off the brake.

I hear a knock on my glass window and startle with a jump quickly slamming back down on the brake.

"Oh what the actual fuck!" I practically scream grabbing my hair and pulling slightly with overwhelming anxiety.

I contemplate driving off and never coming back home if i can help it but I settle with rolling down my window and laughing nervously for now. Fuck that.

"Woah sweetheart..what're ya doin here at.." Elvis trails off looking down at his watch "4:00 in the evenin'?"

"Ya family alright?" He questions softly. Why'd he have to be so damn sweet?

I slowly look up with the fakest smile I ever did use, "W-what?" I laugh obnoxiously. "No I came here for s-something else..cannot erm..r-r-remember what.." I say leaning forward on my steering wheel groaning in embarrassment.

Why'd he have to look so nice right now in a robe and nothing underneath from what you could tell of his slightly tan chest covered in light hair. Why was I such a whore staring so hard..

"You gonna come in honey or we gonna sit outside n' watch the sunset?" He teases opening your car door.

"N-no uh..I-I can just stay here, right here" I point down into my seat with my fingers. "Just here is fine." I nearly beg out loud.

i rather harshly shut my door back.

He laughs. He laughs at me. Dear god mama why'd she do this shit to me.

"Suit yourself, kid." He drawls out with his thick accent that matter of factly made me squeal at night before bed.

He walks around my car swiftly opening the passenger seat door sitting his fine ass right beside me. I can almost taste the smell of him as he drops into the seat.

"You gonna tell me now what you dropped by for? Or you gonna keep this oddly unlike you demeanor up?" He says with a tinge of tease.

I roll my eyes with a sigh, putting my car into park.

"Im under dressed..it's beyond embarrassing." I push out a fake laugh to ease how nervy I am really.

"Your actin like im lookin'..get to it Kim." he states bluntly.

"Fineeee..goddamn." I stare at my hands in my suddenly cold lap. "I came to say thankyou for wanting to host my "party" but I really can't accept-"

He cuts me off quickly with an unbeatable tone telling me already he wouldn't be taking no for an answer. "Nope. I already have everything done, no need to come beggin me to stop it. Everybody needs a party."

"Please just nothing big..Elvis. Like really.." I glance too quickly down at his wide spread pose and im caught red handed im sure of it. I didn't even have time to truly take in what I felt I could see through his seemingly thin robe.

"Play nice about it and I'll talk to your dad about alcohol" Elvis lets out an almost boyish giggle and I can't help the burning blush that takes over my ugly face.

We chat more for the next 10 minutes about what I'd prefer at my party but he caught on rather quickly I was only trying to turn it into some boring cookout that nobody would stay for.

Before to long I catch his watch set nicely on the arm rest of the seat he was currently in and see I've kept him in my presence too long in a fit of laughs. Not that I was complaining. His perfect teeth.

"Go back inside old man.. Too late for you to be awake." I say jokingly gently shoving him against his door.

He fakes pain and opens the door stepping out and I can't help but bite my lip at the sight of his toned tanned legs but somehow feel a tinge of sadness that I couldn't just yank him back and bone him to no end.

Walking up his porch he turns back to me and waves, "Goodnight honey, I'll stop by tomorrow to see your daddy!" He says with what I hope a joking attitude.

My dad can't know I was ever here on my own dressed like a slut, of course not on purpose. Sigh.

I drive off and head home to eat dinner with my family but all I can do for the rest of my night is think about how truly fucked I'll be at this party.

HI! THIS IS MY FIRST CHAPTER TO THIS HOPEFULLY GOOD STORY LOLS . IM NEW TO THE ELVIS FANDOM AND IM HOPING TO MAKE SOME MOOTS HERE SIGH . IM A LONELY PERSON AND I LIKE TO THINK IM NICE LMFAO! GIVE ME IDEAS FOR MY "BOOK". IM OPEN MINDED AND HAVE NO PLANS YET FOR THIS <3 ENJOY

[lovebvni]

the people have spoken — here’s my lore <3

hellooo!! <3 you guys said you wanted to see my lore from my main dr that i actually got from js thinking about my dr!!!

for context, this is for my main mha dr <3 i am siblings w himiko toga but she also has 2 more siblings including me, kuro (kurtis is his american name; he is also himiko a twin sibling) and himari (halo) (i just changed her name as of typing this)

i js realized how y/n this sounds but ykw it’s cool shit ok?

tw for assault (or battery idk im not a lawyer), cutting of skin, drug use of minors, getting drugged .

please stop reading if there is anything that is a trigger to you. and also know this is all FICTIONAL in this reality so please do not worry abt anyone lmfao 😭😭

im going to be as brief as possible! i dont wanna type long blog although this is interesting <3

soooo our family moved back from america when i was in ~5th grade. i was like what… 10 because i started school early (i started developing fast oopsie‼️), himiko n kurt were 14/15 idk man i can’t do math their birthday is after mine 😭 but we were all still young. halo was 6/7ish

so around the time we moved back to japan and himiko real REALLY didn’t wanna go back to japan. she had friends in the us who she felt like accepted her n whatnot, she has a girlfriend she had to break up with because of the move, etc. there was lot going on in her head — it wa as big change to move back to japan so our mom could thrive in her business.

so, himiko came up with a plan — to drug her family, run away and fly back to america to continue living her life.

now, obviously, she didn’t complete the whole thing because she felt bad. she would be without her twin and two younger siblings.

she drugged all of us at a family celebration dinner. i don’t know the details for this i didn’t think it through/didn’t get told what she used. it started with an a though, idk LMDAO 😭😭

anya ways she drugged us at this family dinner then decided, as a way to show her love, she was going to take some of all our blood and cut a heart out on a various part of all our bodies.

my mom got a heart on her outer right thigh, my dads was on his right shoulder blade, kuro’s on his left arm, mine on my left eye and kiara’s on her left hand.

i don’t quite know why she did this but obviously, right for her parents, left for her siblings. idk if it means anything to her but yeah!

anyways hospitalized stitched, blah blah medical recoveries whatever.

now with this next part i’ll be kind of brief. some of kurt’s school friends found out abt the incident and they were like “hey we got set that could help u” but he decided to bring me since i was his next closest sibling — whatever.

they were older or something so they had like drugs (😧😧😧😦😦) ( i can’t take this seriously it’s insane) anyways we went to a lot of parties like every friday n saturday night but on saturdays we wouldn’t get as high bc we have church on sundays (we watch the american one online 💀)

it was crazy tho bro!!! but anyways both kurt n i have nic addictions 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ woopsie poopsie!

i didn’t script all of this btw. i just scripted the part abt himiko drugging us then fucking dipping. all this other shit was included.

also dw i won’t get cancer or anything serious from using anything 😭😭 js temp shit!

anyways yeah! sorry it’s shorter than u expected. i have a weird headache that keeps coming n going (along w migraines) so i tried to keep it short so i wouldn’t stress myself

anyways!!! i hope yall enjoyed! if u have my questions feel free to ask or smth idk 😭

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[jewpacabruhs]

also do the "wanna go out w me sometime" one for kyman thanks sis

nah thank you bb :-) ok im doin this one first to get the writin juices flowin heh

yay drag cartman…. lil bit inspired by lais fic ;)

When Kyle agreed to help Cartman break up Stan and Craig, South Park’s newest and strangest young couple, he hadn’t thought it would turn into a fiasco. Maybe he should’ve had the foresight to anticipate Cartman’s antics, but as it was, when Cartman had bitched about Craig and Tweek being soulmates and Craig being an entire idiot for dumping him, and Kyle had agreed that Stan deserved better than being a rebound for some aloof alternative space nerd like Craig, and Cartman had proposed they break them up, Kyle had immediately accepted without much thought. Cartman was good at schemes like that; surely he could find a way to split them easily enough. 

Kyle was an idiot for that, because Cartman could never do things “easily enough” - he just had to turn a simple little mission into a completely over-the-top and often disastrous performance, with unnecessarily extravagant costumes and everything.

So that’s how he ended up in a booth in the nicest restaurant in town, wearing his finest suit, which he hasn’t touched since his cousin Eli’s bar mitzvah last May. Thankfully it still fits, though it’s a little restrictive. Across from him is one Eric Cartman who is, of course, inexplicably in drag; a floor length deep blue evening dress, sparkly silver makeup, and a sleek blonde wig. He looks amazing, and Kyle resents him for it.

“We’ll be noticed less if we look like your average straight couple,” Cartman had explained, when Kyle had picked him up from his house and given him a look of barely contained annoyance and contempt. Then he’d said, “Oh, this almost feels like prom!” and tried to get Kyle to escort him to the car, and eventually got his way by saying, “If this is how you treat women, I can see why none of them wanna date you.” Kyle had grudgingly linked arms with him after that, and walked him down to the car - even opened the door for him, though Cartman didn’t even really need help; he could walk perfectly fine in his heels, he just liked to be irritating.

So now they’re in the booth, and Kyle’s leg won’t stop bouncing. Craig and Stan are two tables away, both wearing suits and looking like they’re playing dress up. Stan’s blabbing enthusiastically about something, and Craig looks a little bored, but he’s nodding along, prodding at a salad. Cartman had anonymously left a free reservation - how he’d acquired it, Kyle was scared to ask - in Stan’s mail box: “Congratulations! This is a ticket to a free dinner for two on Saturday September 7th, at 8 PM at our fine eatery!” as well as some finer print details, including the lie that it’d been won from a randomized lottery. It’d been addressed to Stan himself, because Cartman figured Randy might try to steal it for him and Sharon. Stan had gushed about it at school, about how he wanted to treat his mom to dinner as a late birthday present, and while Kyle thought that was immensely sweet of him and felt pretty bad about it, he’d had to dissuade him from taking her. “It’s a romantic type of place,” he’d said, feeling like a real shitty friend. “People are gonna think-” and then Kenny had helpfully pitched in, “-that your mom’s a cougar, bro!” That was all it took for Stan to decide he’d take someone else, and from there, Kyle had gently planted the idea that Stan should take his new boyfriend. 

So there they were, at a table for two.

“Dark and dark don’t go together,” Cartman’s saying, frowning disapprovingly. He keeps eyeing the bread sticks, but he hasn’t touched them, probably for fear of messing his lipstick up. “Craig needs Tweek, for, like, contrast, you know? Blonde and black. It works. You can’t have two yangs.”

“The yin is the black one,” Kyle says boredly, just to correct him, though he doesn’t know for sure. “What about Token and Nichole?”

“That’s different.” Cartman waves a hand. “Craig and Stan - have you heard that thing about white gays, uh, dating their own lookalikes? That’s - yeah, that’s Craig and Stan.”

“They don’t look alike,” Kyle frowns. “Craig’s all angular and, like, lithe, or whatever, and Stan’s kinda softer and - and wider, like. He’s sturdy. Different body types, dude. Their faces are super different, too.”

“You sound gay as fuck right now, and I’m the one in drag.”

“Shut the hell up, Cartman. You didn’t have to be in drag, that was all you.”

Cartman quirks an arched brow at Kyle - if the redhead knew anything about makeup, he’d know that Cartman had glued his own eyebrows down, put foundation over them, and redrawn higher arches to achieve the alluring look he wanted; he’d learned a lot from all his hours of watching Drag Race. Kyle, however, is ignorant as hell, so he’s dumbfounded as to how Cartman pulled the look off, but incredibly irritated by how it’s impressive and almost endearing to him, that Cartman’s so good at passing as a girl. He’s a pretty one, too, all soft angles and gentle curves, his naturally pouty lips even poutier with the help of overdrawn lip liner and the pale pink of the lipstick he’s got on.

“I like being pretty,” Cartman explains simply, and Kyle scowls at him because of course he knows how good he looks. Smug bastard.

Kyle’s facing away from Craig and Stan’s table, because Cartman doesn’t look anything like himself from far away, but Kyle’s not wearing anything to disguise himself, other than the uncharacteristic suit; he’d be instantly recognizable if they saw his face, so he can’t risk it. So though he occasionally risks glances back, he’s mostly watching Cartman watch them, as he pretends to look at his menu - and no, Kyle’s not grateful for the excuse to stare at Cartman. He’s getting more and more anxious the longer he looks at him, because he looks like a very pretty girl and it’s confusing Kyle indefinitely. It’s still Cartman, he tells himself firmly. 

He’s so busy convincing himself that he absolutely can’t find Cartman attractive, that he almost misses the panic in his eyes. 

“What?” Kyle asks, starting to turn, but Cartman reaches out and grabs him, press-on red nails digging into Kyle’s forearm.

“They’re walking over here!”

“Fuck!”

“Quick, kiss me!” 

“What? No!”

“They’ll recognize us from this close, Kahl!”

Kyle wants to argue, wants to come up with an alternative, anything but pressing his lips to Cartman’s, but they’re getting closer and he doesn’t have time - he grabs Cartman’s wrist and pulls him closer, tilting his head to the side and kissing him as chastely as he can - he refuses to let this be remotely passionate. The softly curly bangs of Cartman’s wig fall over both their faces, which is good; it’ll hide them. 

Kyle tries to count in his head - ten seconds, he thinks, that should be good, they’ll be gone by then and I can pull away - but he gets to three before he becomes hyper-aware of the way Cartman’s lips feel against his own. He doesn’t want to think too hard about it, he really doesn’t, but it’s hard to ignore the glossy feel, how he smells faintly of strawberries, how his lips are warm and plush, just like the few girls Kyle’s been lucky enough to kiss. But this isn’t a girl, this is Cartman - and yet, somehow, when it’s been far longer than ten seconds, Kyle can’t bring himself to pull away. Part of him, the pre-installed horny teen that sits in the back of his mind and yells at him constantly for being more focused on school than getting laid, wants to deepen the kiss, wants to move closer to Cartman, who’s overwhelmingly soft and warm and pretty - but then someone clears their throat and Kyle pulls away, wide-eyed and disoriented.

It’s Kenny, and he’s grinning like a mad man. “Oh man,” he says merrily. “Oh man! Fuckin’ incredible!”

Kyle wants to ask what the hell Kenny is doing at a fancy place like this, but the waiter outfit he’s wearing answers his unspoken question. “Don’t tell anyone,” he says instead, quietly, glaring hard so Kenny knows he means business.

Kenny grins at him cryptically, winks at Cartman, then walks away with a joyous spring in his step.

“You’re a bastard,” Kyle says to Cartman, who looks, for once in his life, genuinely at a loss for words. “Kenny’s gonna tell everybody, and every kid in school will know you and I kissed - hell, it won’t take long for our parents to find out! Everyone will think I’m gay, and they’re gonna think I’m gay with you of all fucking people - you know how pissed my mom is gonna be? Not ‘cause I’m gay, and I’m not! I - I don’t even know what I am, but now people are gonna assume I am, and I won’t even get to have that to myself - fuck, my mom’s gonna be pissed because it’s you. Of all the eligible bastards, she’ll think I wanted you.”

Cartman’s looking at him with a strange mix of confusion and something akin to desire, freaky as that is. “You, uh - okay, bad timing, but do you wanna go out sometime?”

Kyle raises his eyebrows at him. “Are you fucking insane?”

“For you, babe, probably,” Cartman says smoothly. He pushes a curl of hair out of his face and bites his lip, trying for seductive, and Kyle’s genuinely angry that he has some irritating horrible terrible absolutely and completely subconscious desire to kiss him again. 

Kyle looks away before he can get more upset. “We didn’t split up Stan and Craig, and now Kenny thinks we’re dating. This night couldn’t have gone any worse, and it’s all your fault. Why do you have to do things so outlandishly? We could’ve done literally anything else to get them to break up. But no, you just had to trick me into going on a date with you-” Then it dawns on Kyle, that that’s what this was all about in the first place. Craig and Stan were an afterthought; Cartman wanted an excuse to be with Kyle.

Cartman seems to realize that Kyle’s figured this out, because he has the nerve to look embarrassed. “It was perfect, Kahl,” he says quietly. “How was I supposed to pass up an opportunity like this?”

Kyle feels a rush of different and harshly conflicting emotions - irritation, a flash of hatred, betrayal, irritation again, anger, then something like desire, and passion, and that damn urge to kiss him again.

He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a few deep breaths. Then he stands up quickly and says, “Let’s go. We’re leaving.”

“Wait, now that my lipstick’s already smudged, I want some bread sticks-”

“Let’s go,” Kyle repeats, tugging on Cartman’s arm.

Cartman lets Kyle pull him to his feet, briefly rocking back and forth in his off brand Louie V heels. Now devoid of a reason to hide his crush on Kyle, he smiles happily and says, “You’re lucky I like it rough. Any other girl might slap you for being so rude.”

“You’re not a girl.” Kyle throws a tip down on the table, despite not having ate, and starts pulling Cartman toward the exit. He doesn’t know where Stan and Craig went, or even why they left, but he’s not thinking about them right now.

“No, I’m not, and that scares you, doesn’t it? Poor widdle baby Kahl, having his first gay panic-”

Kyle turns on him and bares his teeth, ignoring the fact that they’re being stared at. “I would shut the fuck up if I were you,” he growls, without thinking about it, but immediately regrets it when Cartman’s eyes go half-lidded. He can handle homoerotic overtones with a rival - but not with someone who so clearly is into him and who, terrifyingly, Kyle’s admittedly hot for himself.

Cartman goes silent, though, blissfully, as Kyle leads them out of the restaurant. 

Once they’re outside, where it’s fairly empty other than an extended family in the parking lot saying their goodbyes, Kyle turns on Cartman. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Cartman grins at him. He looks like the cat that got the cream - and he looks like that a lot, he’s a smug asshole who gets his way far more often than he deserves to, but this time, things are different, and worse yet, this time, Kyle wants to kiss that self-satisfied smile right off his stupid face. 

But that’s what Cartman wants, and Kyle won’t let him have it. 

So instead, he says, “Are you free this Friday?”

Cartman smiles. 

[grapefruitguan-blog]

Fight!AU (Park Woojin)

- woojin was preparing for his comeback

- and they were asking a lot of time from him

- so he was coming home rlly late and leaving rlly early in the morning

- and you were supportive n he was really appreciative

- but it happened for about two weeks

- two weeks of you making dinner and watching it get cold and waking up to him and a quick kiss saying he loves you but he’s gotta go

- but you had ur last straw when he didn’t even come home on your birthday

- he actually forgot

- this time you didn’t fall asleep

- bc woojin promised to spend the day with you

- you were actually heartbroken

- he came back at 1:30 am rlly surprised you were up

- he had a terrible day daniel n the others couldn’t get the choreo down and the producer blamed him

- “babe? shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

- you didn’t answer him

- and had a small bitter smile

- “yeah. i should be. i shouldn’t have waited for you.”

- now woojin never ever snaps

- but today he was in the worst mood

- ever

- “jeez, what’s with you today?”

- and now you snapped

- “woojin, you should know what’s up with me today i’ve waited for you for now two weeks every single fucking day”

- “babe i know i’m sorry it’s just they’ve wanted a lot out of us-“

- “yeah. you want a lot of of me to wait for you. i know that. what do you think i have done?”

- “y/n i know it’s just the fans-“

- “it’s always the fans woojin, always.”

- “because they care about us. we just won at mama i don’t want to lose that streak. why can’t you understand that?”

- “woojin. i’ve been the most fucking understanding of that. i didn’t question you for shit about scandals when i sure could’ve and i always helped you when you felt stressed-“

- “people care about us, y/n. we have fans. they’re there for us.”

- oh god woojin really fucked it up now

- a small silence occurred when woojin’s eyes widened with what he said

- “babe-“

- “save it woojin.”

- “no i didn’t mean-“

- “no, i get it. i don’t have fans because i’m not an idol, so i wouldn’t get it. people care about you and the boys and not really about me. hell, they want me gone since i’m dating their bias. go date fucking lisa from blackpink or something, then!”

- “no that isn’t-“

- “save it. i’m leaving. maybe you’ll someday realize why i’m so fucking pissed after waiting for you for so damn long.”

- you walk out and slam the door

- “fine be that way!” yelled woojin

- he went to your guys’ now empty bed angry as hell

- he almost threw the picture of you two on the ground but hesitated

- you drove over to your bff’s house and slept for the night

- in the morning woojin went to practice

- and he was on snapchat

- and noticed your streak had an hourglass

- he sent you a black screen and you instantly left him on open

- he groaned

- and rolled his eyes

- and he was viewing his stories and saw daehwi’s

- it was a selfie

- “happy late birthday y/n!!!”

- woojin dropped

- wait

- it was your birthday yesterday???

- holy fuck he promised to spend the day with you

- he didn’t even get you an xmas gift cause you said that’s all you wanted

- holy fuck

- he stormed into practice

- “daehwi!!!!”

- daehwi was eating a croissant

- “woojin!!! you almost made me drop my croissant!!!”

- “dumbass bitch!!! why didn’t you tell me it was my gf’s birthday yesterday!!!!!”

- “woojin sweetie you were supposed to know this”

- “i remembered!” piped daniel holding his story too

- “shut up mr center i hope your cats die”

- “heY”

- jisung aka mom runs over

- “dUmbAsS KIDS STOP FIGHTING”

- daehwi rubbed his temples

- “y/n is soooo mad at you woojin”

- “she’s so supportive of your snaggletooth headass and you don’t see that”

- “hIs EYES ARE TOO SMALL TO SEE THAT”

- “shUT UP ONG NOBODY CARES MR I’M-28-TRYING-TO-DEBUT”

- “shUT UP YOU MAKNAE I WAS Y/N’S BIAS NOT YOURS”

- jisung blows the whistle n stops ong and woojin from fighting

- “DuMBASS WOOJIN for foRGETTING Y/N’s BDAY I’M NOT MAKING YOU FUCKIN RAMEN FOR A MONTH”

- jisung sighed

- “y/n rlly never let you see her frustrated bc you’d come home late as hell n she would always rant to me and daehwi about it and she went to (bff)’s house all night and cried”

- “how was i supposed to know!!!”

- “duMBASS biTCH I am Her SECOND COUSIN and you arE HER bOyfrieND anD I COULD TELL SHE WAS UNhAPPY BUT you COULDN’T????”

- “he has a point snaggletooth headass”

- “shut up four foot chode nobody cares sungwoon”

- “LISTEN BO-“

- “gUys shUT UP” yelled jisung

- “woojin go make up with her your dumbass fucKED UP”

- “big time!” chorused daniel holding his two cats

- woojin facepalmed

- “guys what the hell do i do i rlly did fuck up i was just so caught up on the choreo-“

- “dumbass dance machine”

- “shUT UP CAT PEDOPHILE I’M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT”

- jisung blows his mom whistle again

- “gUYS ENOUGH FIGHTING”

- “luckily bc i’m so old and wise i have a damn plan”

- so all 11 boys shut up and crowd around

- “here’s what we are finna do bitches”

- “jisung sweetie pls don’t say finna it’s improper”

- “sorry minhyun”

- you’re at your bff’s house

- you were throwing dart’s at a pic of woojin

- until she knocks on ur door

- “hey y/n someone’s here to see you”

- “if it’s woojin i swear to-“

- “oH HI DAEHWI”

- “HI BESTIE IM HERE BITCH I GOT YOU STUFF FOR YOUR BDAY”

- “aw THANKS BITCH I SAW YOUR STORY”

- “yeAh SORRY BITCH I WAS AT PRACTICE AKDJKSD I PROMISE WE CAN EAT CHICKEN N WAFFLES SOON THO”

- “david lee ur so white”

- “i was born in LA headass”

- daehwi hands you a wrapped gift

- you coo

- “YOU REALLY ARE MY BESTIE”

- bff walks in

- “wtf y/n who’s house are you in”

- “lOVE YOU TOO (BFF’s NAME)”

- daehwi clears throat

- “anyways so”

- “get dressed”

- “we’re hanging out”

- “stop simping over the snaggletooth headass”

- “i wAS NO-“

- “bitch shut up ur listening to butterfly and spring day by bts and you’re really telling me you aren’t simping????”

- ok daehwi got you there

- so you kicked him outta ur friend’s room

- and you get dressed

- no details bc this isn’t smut

- yET

- hAHAHAHA

- anyways after twenty minutes you step out

- daehwi huffs

- “see this hair? i didn’t dye it white. it turned white waiting for your slowpoke ass”

- “shut up daehwi last time i checked i waited for you for two hours when you bumped into iu”

- “iU nOONA IS mOre IMPoRTANT”

- anyways

- daehwi flashes his signature grin

- “oK go to the living room”

- “daehwi i thought we were going out??”

- “yes going out of the room duh”

- “yOU lITTLE SHIT YOU MADE ME PUT MAKEUP FOR NOTHING WHEN IM STAYING INSIDE???”

- “y/n if you think i have money to treat you out for a day you really must be tripping”

- “daehwi stfu you deadass have tons of money after debuting don’t play with me”

- daehwi shoves you into the room anyways

- and your jaws drop

- and there you see the living room decorated

- with your favorite foods on the coffee table

- and presents

- and a chocolate cake

- and the other boys there

- besides woojin

- so daniel’s cats could be at ur bday and not your boyfriend? ok

- “HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N”

- “we’re really sorry we couldn’t celebrate with you on your actual birthday so we tried to make up for it” smiles jisung

- you almost broke down in tears

- because THAT IS SO SWEET

- “aw thanks guys i love you so much”

- “even if woojin hates me enough to not even want to celebrate my bday LOL it’s okay.”

- guanlin awkwardly coughed

- “uh look behind you”

- lo and behold

- park woojin is behind you holding 10 bouquets of red roses

- bby boy is almost falling bc he carried all of them

- you’re kind of taken aback

- because who wouldn’t be??

- “i’m sorry that i couldn’t wish you happy birthday with them i had to run to like five florists cause turns out everyone ran out of red roses”

- he hands you one bouquet and other boys scramble to help him

- “i’m really sorry that i fucked up and forgot that it was your birthday it was honestly such a dick move of me-“

- “HE ALSO CALLED ME A FOUR FOOT CHODE”

- “shUT UP SUNGWOON”

- “and i really took you for granted and i feel terrible because i need to remember that they’re fans, and though i’m in their hearts..you’re in mine. i’m scared of losing you because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i promise i never ever forgot about that”

- “and like roses are what i gave you on our first date and i know they can’t do too much to make you forgive me but i remembered you love them and you honestly deserve the world”

- and woojin has tears in his eyes and takes one hand and tries to wipe his tears and now he’s blubbering

- “i totally understand if you hate me and wanna break up i support your decision either way i’m so so sorry for being such a dick-“

- SEEING WOOJIN BAWL WAS TOO MUCH SO YOU JUST KISSED HIM

- he was shocked at first but he leaned down just a little bit

- “idiot i forgive you”

- “w-wait really”

- “BITCH YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REJECT HIM”

- “shUT UP DAEHWI”

- “nO YOU SHUT YOU COYOTE LOOKING ASS I BET $10.00 ON THIS WITH ONG”

- before woojin went to go fight daehwi you laughed

- and he looked at you with a small smile

- ft his little snaggletooth

- and daniel brings out the cake and they start singing

- BUT then woojin’s eyes shoot up

- “wAIT DONT START I FORGOT SOMETHING”

- he hands you the roses and grabs a little box out of his pocket

- “here open it”

- “woojin we’re too young to get married-“

- “nonONONO NOT THAT NOT THAT”

- he turns bright red

- “i-i mean not like i don’t wanna m-marry you i-it’s just”

- you open it

- it’s a promise ring!!! the one that you told woojin how pretty it was two months ago!!!!

- “woojin!!!! this is really expensive you know i was like kidding right!!!!”

- “well like you deserve the world so i’m trying to give it to you”

- “and like it’s my promise to you to never treat you less than perfect”

- “and that i promise to put you before my career”

- all the boys coo

- and daniel is huffing bc the cake is rlly heavy and he wants to goddamn sing already so he can set it down

- so you sing!

- and all is well!

- and woojin puts an arm around your waist and kisses your forehead

- “happy late birthday babe, i love you.”

[mylifeasitisfortheworld]

The devil part 2

Lets start from the beginning. The first time I met you and your family was at your graduation party in 2016. I was friends with S at that time. I came with my mom. There were a lot of girls there (especially the ones who are not friends with you now). My first impression was that you were a sweet normal girl. I sat with S and then later we went up to dance. We met a girl (Red-Head) who seemed really nice but crazy. S was very social so she started talking to her, I also did but I could tell she was not really my type, however I was still very nice to her because she was a nice person I just didn’t want to become close friends with her. I danced I laughed and then I went home. Life was good, I was not close to you yet. 

Fast forward a little later, I invited you to my 18th birthday party (the worst night of my life, but alhamdulilah I am thankful for it). Life was good, I still was not close to you. 

Then I started seeing you more because of what was happening with M (The old women). My mom and your mom would see each other more often and I would come along because my mom said you were a good friend and person. I remember we were sitting and you told me about how you did not have any friends anymore because they were all “jealous of you” I asked you why and you said you didn’t know why. It seemed weird to me but I didn’t think much of it since I could relate to losing friends, But losing every single friend?? I realized why you didn’t have any earlier on because you would talk so much about them but you would do it in a way where it seems like they were bad and you were trying to fix them. Now im pretty sure half of the stories were made up, the other half was personal shit that you shouldn’t have been telling. I remember the story about Y and SA who were supposedly your best friends and you talked down on their dad and said that he was in jail for attempting to rape a women; you said that SA was jealous of you because one of the guys she was with had feelings for you and you talked to him (ironic actually, we’ll get to that in a bit). You said that Y was getting old and and that she was ugly and none of the men wanted her and that one of the guys that was supposed to propose to her proposed to you instead and said that he could never be with her. You moved on to D and how she slept with black guys and/or made out with them. Then it was Red-head and how she was a dirty girl who no Arab would ever touch and she tried to run away with a mexican; you told me a story about how she came drunk and on drugs to your thanksgiving dinner and how you drove her home. You talked about how her sister was “stupid” (btw this girl came to your dads funeral), you talked about their mom pretending to be naive, and you spilled family secrets. You told me about how K did not associate with arabs  (yay her honestly) and how she was going to marry a white guys and shame her family. At the wedding we went to, you pointed out a girl that was sitting and you pointed at little boy and you said that that girl had gotten pregnant at 15 because she was raped by a Mexican and her family kept the kid but pretended it was her son; I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, how could you say this.I had never even met this girl and you were exposing something horrible and traumatizing (even if it was fake). What else were you capable of?  Alhamdulilah I  was so happy that I was never close to you I made sure not to make that mistake after S and N; the only personal thing you knew about me was dating W. Thats when I figured you were heartless and you wanted every single person to look bad, I went to the bathroom and cried while they were cutting the cake. when we were around older khaltos thats when you talked the most shit about the girls because you knew your talks would be more significant with older ladies, you always sat with them and clicked with them and I knew it was not because you were mature but because you were just like them in the sense of talking about other people as your free time. What was weird was that in every story you would position yourself to make yourself look like the hero who tried to help everyone, which I realized later is part of a bigger psychological problem. I was so fucking stupid and I failed to realize that you were clearly tainting these girls reputation to someone who didn’t know them (me), whether it was true or not, you had a clear motivation and you knew exactly why you didn’t have any friends. felt so bad for these girls but I could never speak up because I was scared of confrontation, and now this is one of the things that I regret the most and I feel like I failed everyone because I couldn’t speak up and tell you to stop. Whether these stories are true or not you never deserved to have friends, you would be stupid, which I know your not, to not know why everyone is not your friend anymore. These girls are not jealous of you, you have nothing that they don’t have. I was an idiot and always will be for continuing to talk to you after. I realized and was told by others that it is not them who is jealous, its you. You are missing a crucial part of yourself and you get jealous when you see others with inner peace and happiness, or wealth. I know wealth is always something you craved so bad, you would sell your soul for it. Everytime we went to I’s house you would talk about her house and how nice it was and you would only talk about money and materialistic things everytime we went to someone’s house. You always said that your house was too small and that you were going to marry a rich guy. You only befriended I for the “prestige” but we will get to that later in her section. Aside from that, you wanted every girl to look bad in front of the community and you wanted to taint their reputation because you wanted everyone to think that you were the best girl out there. You did all this because on the inside you thought you amounted less than everyone else and you wanted to knock others down to make yourself feel better (which I know didn’t work)

I remember an instance where me and your brother were sitting together at Fenjani and you opened up a snap of an arab girl that was hugging a boy. You and your brother got excited and he opened up his phone and took a pic on his camera of the poor girl’s snapchat on your phone so you wouldn’t have to screenshot it. Why would you take a picture of her, you weren’t close to her?? You wanted a form of blackmail or a way to talk shit about her with the other khaltos. Your brother was in on it too, which was ironic was that at that time he was dating a Mexican girl, then going and talking shit about Arab girls dating non-Arabs. Typical, stereotypical Arab kid who was not raised right. What scared me the most was the excitement you both had, I realize how sick you both are.I know you still have that photo on your phone and you waiting for a chance to use it if you haven’t already