#and in most of them pen is looking AT him and he's looking at her mouth in SHOCK NEED DESIRE WANT YEARNING

[aeternallis]

Colin's "entrapment" line was hard to listen to, but it was most definitely a sign of how unhinged he really is for Penelope.

Ok but for reals, I'm not sure how everyone else reacted when Colin said his now infamous "entrapment" line, but I just love how if one looks at this line a little more closely, it was definitely some semblance of an underhanded (and also a bit silly, lol) attempt to actually keep Penelope entrapped. Haha, the irony of it all. Idk, at least that was my read on it!

Like, it was definitely said in anger as well; he's hurting, and he’s hurting badly, so of course he wants to hit back in some way, however he can. Luke Newton absolutely meant it when he said that Colin reacts to the reveal in the worst way possible, alas.

My very first reaction to that scene: //pauses the screen to yell at Colin at 4am in the morning, “Entrapment????! If you feel trapped, then why the hell are you still going along with it, ya dumb ass!!!

Because really, think about it: Colin was definitely within his rights to call off the wedding, especially when he'd mentioned that Violet had noticed that he and Penelope had not seen each other for some time. It would have been the perfect time to reveal Penelope's secret to his mother, if indeed he felt entrapped by the LW of it all. Violet is family; if he wanted to still protect Penelope but no longer wanted to marry her, he would have been able to count on Violet's discretion. I'm sure she and Lady Danbury would have come up with some sort of plan to deal with the aftermath regarding the Bridgertons’ reputation, as we'd seen with Anthony and Edwina's botched wedding.

Furthermore, it would have probably been the better option to reveal it to her, since the existence of LW does put his family in danger; Penelope herself knows this. Every decision she makes post-LW reveal to Colin is due to the Bridgertons being in danger. Lady Danbury makes a point of this when she said in the last episode, “There is only one other person who loves the Bridgertons more than I.”

Eloise was able to keep the secret with no real consequences because although Penelope was her ex-bff, El still loves her, and besides that, nothing legal binds them as Colin's marriage to Penelope would.

Even when he was getting ready to talk to Benedict about getting funds to fulfill Cressida’s demands, he insisted on making up a lie to shield Penelope’s identity as LW. He knows more than anything that fulfilling a demand like this, all for the sake of his wife and at the cost of using a substantial amount of Bridgertons’ financial assets, may not put his marriage in the best light within his family. He doesn’t want to be forced to have to choose between his wife and his family, so he’s keen on keeping the lie going.

So for all intents and purposes, he doesn't tell his mother, or any of his other siblings (besides Eloise, who already knew); this in and of itself is hella fucking risky. The fact that Colin is willing to take this risk of withholding Penelope's secret identity from his family, the fact that he doesn't think to jeopardize this potentially risky betrothal—already goes to show the measure in regards to how much he wants Pen for his wife. We the audience know this because he waits until the very last minute to tell Violet, and even then, it's not Colin who chose to reveal it to her, but Penelope herself.

Another point: arguably, we can also say that Colin has a lot more wiggle room with his engagement to Penelope to call off the wedding, much more than he ever did with his engagement to Marina.

"A man of honor"? Exactly what "honor" are we talking about here? Colin claimed that he would have married Marina had she just told him the truth, yet when push came to shove and the truth of her pregnancy was revealed for all the world to know, he still chose to take the out Penelope gave him through LW. It’s easier to make a declaration like that when it’s all said and done. Lol Sure, he regretted it and apologized for his behavior later on, but he had made his choice regardless. Y’all can just feel Marina and Lady Danbury judging this dumb ass (affectionate) for dwelling in the past. Silly young man! XD What's stopping him this time around?

"We had been...intimate." Are you talking about the mirror scene, sir? Because let me assure you, you and Penelope have long been "intimate" way before you decided to buy a love nest and take her V-card the very next day you proposed to her. In fact, this is where the significance of their first kiss in 3.02 rings so, SO importantly and WHY it was vital that it was Penelope who asked and said that it would not have to mean anything. Colin knows Penelope would never use their first time together and/or the heated moment in the carriage as a way to entrap him. That first kiss alone should have already warranted that they get married, but Penelope makes it clear that it’s simply a favor, nothing more.

Oddly enough, I’m surprised Colin doesn’t bring up the idea of a long engagement (yknow, as he initially wanted with Marina, but who’s keeping track at this point), considering that would have potentially benefitted their situation. 🤔 His dumb ass (affectionate) was more than willing to stick to the wedding schedule…huh.

Besides all that, I don’t think it’s the showrunners’ intent to “taint” those special moments between them by changing the context through Colin’s (very biased) POV; to believe that to be the case would be, imo, just a bad faith argument. The genre is romance, y’all; these intimacy scenes are on an entirely different pedestal.

Because remember, that “entrapment” line of Colin’s only came about due to Penelope starting the conversation with, “Are you going to call off the wedding?”

Didn’t it almost seem like an afterthought, that he just came up with it on the spot? Hahaha.

I can bet y’all Cressida’s fake ass €20,000 blackmail money that before they’d met up to discuss wedding breakfast plans with their mamas, it had probably never even occurred to Colin to cancel their wedding. Angry and furious as he was, it was never a question of whether or not he still wanted Penelope for a wife.

The fact that it’s Penelope who begins that conversation and opens that Pandora’s box possibility is so, so damn important. Because not only does it show how much Penelope truly loves him in that she would never trap him, it also shows her maturity, in that she’s willing to face the consequences of her actions. She’s willing to give Colin the choice to back out, heartbreaking as it would be to face it, even if she herself would not be the one to pursue that choice.

She gives him the choice a good number of times: the wedding breakfast plan scene, the wedding day itself when she hesitates on the aisle, and the annulment offer after the butterfly scene.

Penelope defends herself softly, but truthfully: she never meant to entrap him, because she really didn’t. And Colin knows this; he would not still love her and want her if he honestly believed she wanted to entrap him. Hell, even if she did, the audience knows it’s a desire that comes from a good place: she loves him, so of course she doesn’t want to lose him. She wants to marry him, because she loves him. That’s all there is to it.

But despite knowing this (imo, anyway), we can also say that this conversation may have contributed to Colin’s downward spiral during the majority of episode 7 and 8, and why he becomes hella fucking desperate to be “useful” to her.

Because unlike himself, Penelope has now begun to entertain the idea of living a life that doesn’t include him—at least, not as her husband. Penelope is brave and strong enough to let him go due to the pain she caused him for her lies and her actions as LW, and as for Colin…well…

(I love it, it’s the same conundrum that Anthony faced in S2: Kate is strong enough to leave him behind and return to India, but Anthony…well…)

TL;DR, Colin’s entrapment line was literally an excuse he gave himself to keep his betrothal to Penelope intact. It’s a line that works in two ways simultaneously: it’s a painful, childish, underhanded thing to say in order to hurt Penelope’s feelings, to get back at her for the anguish he’s suffered. Yet at the same time, it’s also another excuse he gives himself in order to push through with the marriage, to tie Penelope to himself forever.

Because unlike Penelope, the very idea of living without her as his wife, of not having her in his life, is and always will be an impossible notion for Colin to ever entertain.

[trashnotfound]

As much as I also would have liked more polin scenes I still feel like what we got was enough !?

I understand people wanted to see them happy but we have many more ( hopefully 5) seasons of happy married polin to watch and look forward too? I’m glad they gave us the angsty hard hitting scenes they did because we aren’t gonna get anymore! I’m a sucker for angst and I’m very with the amount we got. Plus it’s not like their arguments and Colin’s disappointment was for something stupid. It was a needed part of their story to understand each-other better and to really start their joined life’s. People are acting like the the main couple of each season don’t have their issues and then by the next season their purely in love.

To me polins disagreement was the most serious and sensible of all the couples this far. Of course Colin is going to be hurt and betrayed that the woman he loves is LW, of course Pen is going to be angry at Colin for not supporting her. But we saw them fix it, we saw them get through it together, and now they have the rest of their life’s to be happy and in love

Of course I’m disappointed they got rid of some scenes but I hate how people are acting like this is the worst season purely because we had some angsty episodes. We got plenty of lovely moments between them before and after the LW reveal.

I’m glad they gave Colin and pen the time and the development to work through it and explore their characters more. It would have made no sense if they just brushed past it. This is the same man who was weeping in bed because Pen was gonna marry another man. He’s dramatic, he needed time to figure out how he felt! It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Pen if anything it shows how devoted he is to her. He got there in the end and his realisation made him and stronger and better man

[gleefullypolin]

Stacy's Tipsy Musing's - Colin Bridgerton Hot Takes - Part 1

Ok boys and girls, we need to have a little chat about Colin Bridgerton.

Part 2 has been out now for a couple of days and there have been a lot of hot takes to come out of the season. A LOT of hot takes.  I’m going to break this down into 4 parts. 4 questions that I'm seeing really bad hot takes about Colin.

Now none of this is new, I gotta say before Season 3 aired Colin was a hot button topic anyway. He seemed to be the Bridgerton brother that lots of people love to spew hate takes on anyway. But damn I gotta say its painful seeing the Polin fandom have so many bad takes falling from their lips.

So, I figured...having a little drink tonight, sitting down for Father’s Day (Happy Father’s Day, Colin) I’d give you the opinion on some of these takes that you didn’t ask for...Mine!

Ok let’s start with the hottest take. Question 1:

Does Colin really believe that Pen entrapped him in marriage?

“Perhaps that was another part of your planned entrapment”

Ok I have to say, I have never seen one line inspire SO MANY BAD TAKE FANFICS IN ALL MY LIFE! Let’s start at the beginning...he found out about Lady Whistledown by following Pen because he noticed she and his sister run off together and disappeared. His sister who was not speaking to Pen previously from his knowledge. So not only is he suddenly feeling betrayed by his future wife, but also his sister.

Now add to this, his trying to reconcile this lie in the middle of planning a wedding to the woman he thought he knew most of his life as quiet little Pen, who just weeks earlier he was trying to teach how to flirt and land a man. He is confused and angry.

But that’s only 2 layers of hurt. Let’s keep adding to that. Layer one, we have the lie. Layer two, we have a woman he thought he knew. Add in Layer three, the Marina situation.

The original LW lie for him was about Marina’s lie. The original entrapment. An entrapment that Colin was willing to look past. He was still willing to marry Marina despite her deception. He still checked in on her post marriage to Phillip to ensure she was happy, to see if she regretted NOT marrying him. Colin always regretted his behavior to Marina’s entrapment. An entrapment that LW pushed into the light and forced a different decision for him. I don’t think he cares about Marina now, he never once accused her of taking Marina from him, he never loved Marina, but she took his agency, his decision.

Now for the fun of it, let’s add layer four. Portia’s already accused Pen of entrapping Colin during his confrontation with her. An accusation he strongly defended her against. An accusation which led to him telling her he loved her for the first time and them sharing their first time together. Which he is now reminding her of.  “I’m a man of honor. And we were intimate.” Colin knows how to hurt Pen. We always know how to hurt those we have known for a long time, and they are of course the oldest of friends. He is striking her where he knows it will hurt her the most. Because he is hurting, and she caused the blow.

So let’s talk about the biggest blow of them all. “Perhaps that was another part of your planned entrapment” He doesn’t look her in the eye when he says any of this. He can’t, because he KNOWS he’s being an asshole. He knows its below the belt. But she hurt him. He’s angry, hurt, lashing out.

Because of Layer five...Hot anger at what she wrote about him at the beginning of the season. This person who knows him better than anyone else, wrote truth to page. No one knows the real Colin the way Pen does. His brothers toasted him when he returned home because of his new female attention, his friends said he was more fun this season. But Pen called his new persona a ploy for attention. She saw him for what he was. A fraud. If he is to forgive Pen, he is to also start to acknowledge that there is truth in things she says that perhaps Lady Whistledown does not tell lies.

But then there is layer six. Jealousy and shame. Colin has sat in all of his emotions, yes he’s angry about what she has written,but we get to the heart of it, he’s jealous of her and that makes him ashamed of himself. That’s very Book!Colin coded who was very ashamed of his jealousy, so much so that Pen mistook his silence and brooding as shame of her. But this Colin is brooding in his own shame and jealousy and lashing out at her.

And then we get to layer seven. Colin loves Penelope above all else. And with this love and hurt and shame and jealousy, there is nothing that will stop him from marrying her. And in part, that is where his ire in this pointed cut comes from. He’s reminding her that they will marry. This will happen. This woman who is a successful writer, something he thinks he will never be, will marry him. Because he has laid claim to her. He has bedded her. They were intimate, she was compromised, and they have entrapped each other. But above all, he loves her, and Lady Whistledown will not change that decision for him this time. This time, he will marry.

Seven layers of lies, deception, past hurts, parental pressures, anger, jealousy and shame, and above all love sat on his tongue and wormed through his thoughts for days until they cut out at the small woman beside him that he needed to hurt in that moment. The woman he had been avoiding for that very reason.

Colin is not a hateful man. He was a kind man. He was rarely angry. But when he was finally put in a place where anger was his only emotion, he avoided Penelope, so that he didn’t hurt her, so he would not say things that were unkind and would hurt her. But when put into the place that he could not avoid her, he lashed out. He made it very clear how things were going to go and he pouted, and he brooded and he said unkind words.

And he was ashamed. And after that he did his best to avoid her, (by being out drinking, sleeping on the couch, avoiding intimacy) so he would not lash out at her again. Because he was ashamed.

Stick around for Part 2.... Why would Colin send Pen home alone after finding her on the street at night?

[gigglesandfreckles-hp]

firstly I LOVE your writing so so so much!!! so many of my fav jily fics are yours <3

#34 from the prompt list (“sorry, bad habit”) but it’s james fidgeting (messing with his hair clicking a pen idk idc u do u) and lily is annoyed with him with herself for finding it endearing & finally does something about it

from these prompts

It’s not that she never noticed it before.

Context, however, is everything and there is just simply a stark contrast between noticing it because McGonagall consistently points it out with a heavy sigh and a ‘for the last time, Mr. Potter, please wear your uniform with a sense of propriety’ and noticing it because Lily can’t physically make herself look away.

She’s not quite sure when her mind takes that sharp detour, though.

“Merlin, I’m knackered.”

Lily looks up from her book as he falls into the seat across from her. “You’re late.”

James grimaces apologetically. “Flitwick had me helping the firsties with—never mind. Sorry. Let’s get started, yeah?”

He wasn’t her first choice for essay partner, or her second or third for that matter, but he’s competent, which Lily supposes she should be grateful for. Honestly, she’s still trying to wrap her head around the fact that school has been back in session for an entire month and they haven’t gotten in a row even once.

James pulls his bag up onto the small table and begins haphazardly fishing through it for his own textbook and some parchment, then reaches up and gives a sharp tug on the knot of his tie, pulling it away from his neck. Lily’s gaze catches on the motion she must have seen him do a dozen times, but she’s never been close enough to notice the sliver of skin it reveals before and she’s certainly never found herself appreciating it.

She quickly files that away as information to never ever process and shakes her head.

“Yeah, let’s get…” She clears her throat and looks back toward her book. “Started.”

But once she starts noticing it—well. It becomes a bit of a problem.

The moment he walks into the common room, his hand moves to loosen his tie. As soon as he collapses onto the couch of their shared Heads’ Office. While he walks alongside her to Arithmancy. Every single day. Constantly.

“Blimey, the weather’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”

Lily purses her lips to keep from smiling at the childish way James throws his hands up toward the sky the minute they step into the sunshine. It’s been a gruelling day of revising for both of them and she found herself not even able to muster a half-hearted excuse for why they shouldn’t take a break to go for a walk on the grounds.

“There’s just something about October,” he continues, sighing happily.

Lily opens her mouth to agree, but then she catches the flash of his hand—they’re not even fifteen steps away from the castle, but there he goes, the scarlet-and-gold-striped fabric slipping through his fingers as he makes quick work of the knot of his tie.

“Why do you always do that?” she finds herself blurting out.

He glances quickly over at her, his fingers freezing their motion. “Sorry,” he says, wincing, “bad habit.”

Lily just nods in response, not trusting herself to say something normal, and tries not to watch as he tugs the tie completely off and shoves it deep into the front pocket of his trousers.

October passes and Lily feels herself relax, because the Scottish autumn is on her side on this (and only on this, really). Hogwarts students spend the month of November adding more layers to their wardrobe, not removing them.

Lily has never in her life been so passionate about scarves.

“Most prestigious school in the wizarding world and they can’t bloody insulate the halls,” James whinges, blowing hot air into his cupped hands and rubbing them together.

Lily looks sharply away from that and ignores the little flop her stomach does. “That would compromise the ambience, Potter.”

“Of course. How can Hogwarts expect to maintain its honour if at least one student doesn’t die of hypothermia?”

Lily’s laugh is halted as they turn a corner and begin their portion of the patrol colloquially known among the other prefects as The Polar Vortex. This section of the castle seems to always be particularly drafty, and honestly, if Lily wasn’t eager to extend her time with James, she’d likely suggest they just skip it and head back to Gryffindor Tower.

As it is, though, she shivers involuntarily, her teeth clattering loudly together, unbidden.

“Merlin, Evans, here. Take—”

“I’m fine!” she says quickly, because, Jesus bloody Christ, he was reaching for his scarf.

“That hypothermia joke wasn’t a personal challenge, Lil. Take my scarf and—”

“I don’t want it!”

His next step falters and he turns slowly to face her, his face setting into a confused frown. “Why not?”

Lily feels her face begin to flush. “I just—I don’t want to be a…bother.”

James watches her for another moment, then a grin slowly spreads across his face. “Evans,” he says, unlooping the scarf from his neck, and turning to more fully face her, “you always bother me.” He gently drops the scarf around her neck, ignoring her protests as he tugs it snugly around the collar of her jumper.

Lily takes a breath, hating and loving the fact that the scarf smells exactly like him, but otherwise settles into a feeling of relief. That wasn’t so bad. Just because he removed his scarf doesn’t mean—

“Oh my God, are you serious right now?!”

James stops walking again, his fingers freezing in the midst of their mission to unknot his tie. “Er, what?”

Lily covers her face with her hands and tries not to scream. 

“Evans?” He asks, and that pushes her closer to the edge, because she can hear the concern in his voice. “Am I serious about what?”

“Nothing,” she squeaks, shaking her head, even as her hands remain covering her face.

“Ev-ans.”

“No, really, I—”

He gently tugs one of the ends of the scarf—his scarf—causing her to stumble toward him a bit. “What’s wrong?”

She allows her hands to fall and forces himself to look up at him. “Why are you even wearing your tie?” she mumbles.

“What? My…tie?” He frowns, deeply puzzled, then manages a half-shrug. “I dunno. Just forgot to take it off after lessons, I guess. Why?”

“You constantly mess with it,” Lily says. “Non-stop. Loosening it, untying it, taking it off, playing with it.”

“I told you,” he says sheepishly, “it’s a bad habit. I—”

“It’s infuriating!”

His eyebrows lift in surprise. “I’m…sorry?”

“A Lily Evans torture device, really.”

He opens his mouth again, but she beats him to it.

“It’s like, if every person who’s ever hated me attended a…a convention. And they had a chat about all the things that drive me spare, devising a plan to slowly make me go completely mental. This—,” she knows she’s mad and that she’ll hate herself later, but she doesn’t care because she’s been wanting to do this for months,—“this is what they would end up deciding on.” She reaches up and, in one swift motion, tugs on the knot of his tie, watching in immense satisfaction as it separates from the collar of his shirt, hanging limply across the grey fabric of his jumper. 

James stares at her, eyes wide, body completely rigid as she, Jesus, manhandles him like a fiend. 

“Sorry,” she huffs out as she draws her hand back to her own person, but she isn’t even sure she means it. “You just—it really is a terrible habit, Potter. Promise me you’ll work on it.”

He blinks. “I…”

“Good.” Lily nods. “Thank you for the scarf, by the way. We should be good to head back down now, yeah?” She takes off walking down the corridor, before he can verbally question her sanity or she can do something else truly mad like use the leverage of his tie—stupid, bloody tie—to bring his mouth down to hers.

[torchwood-99]

One saving grace for Colin's treatment was this season was how it was clear everything Eloise did in part two, she did out of love for him.

Even when Penelope and Colin first announced their engagement, and Eloise was reeling, when she confronted Penelope her driving motivation was fury and concern on Colin's behalf. She was enraged that Colin didn't know, but gave Penelope grace to tell him herself. Eloise could have torpedoed their relationship by outing her there and then, but she instead she agreed to keep quiet as long as Colin knew, because that was the best way for Penelope and Colin's relationship to succeed. And she only put a time limit on when the threat of the queen and Penelope's own dithering made it a matter or urgency.

And then after hearing that speech from Colin, she decides to let Penelope keep quiet, provided LW is dead and gone. This was a misguided choice, and Colin still should have known, but when Eloise stood on that staircase and said "my heart was broken and I wanted to spare your heart getting broke too" with tears in her eyes, it was obvious that truly the one thing she wanted above all else was Colin's happiness. And in going to Penelope and getting her to drop LW, she was trying to take care of him, trying to spare him as much pain as possible.

I am glad that Colin got to tell Eloise she should have told him, but I am also glad Eloise got that moment to tell Colin straight just how much she loved him.

Eloise doesn't show her love for her siblings through great declarations. Few people do. Like most siblings, she shows it through teasing, through mucking around, through giving the odd moment of vulnerability or advice, such as with Benedict and Daphne, but tears in her eyes, weeping that she was trying to spare him the heartbreak she went through, that was Eloise's most dramatic and emotional shows of love for her siblings, and I'm so glad Colin got it.

And then during the wedding, we see Eloise going off quietly to cry, and we have Benedict tell her how love isn't finite, and it's clear that Eloise is truly frightened that Colin and Penelope will move on from her and leave her on the side lines. And yet at no point did Eloise try to ruin things for Colin. Neither her anger at Penelope nor her fear of abandonment was enough for her to try and ruin things for her big brother.

And then when Penelope and Colin are on the outs, while Eloise shows empathy for Penelope, despite everything, again Colin is her main priority. That scene with all the siblings together, and Eloise is sat there, watching Colin, looking so concerned for him, unable to keep her eyes off him because she can see he's suffering and she hates it. When Eloise tries to patch things up between them, yes she wants Pen's happiness, but it's Colin who is at the centre of things for her. It's Colin she is talking to about her own hurt and her own heartache. She is gentle with him in a way she rarely is with anyone else.

I guess I'm just so relieved that things didn't go down how I was scared they would, and how I knew certain fans wanted them to.

Either Eloise was going to be angry with Penelope about LW, and Colin was going to "put her in her place" and declare Penelope innocent of all wrong doing, or vice versa and Eloise was going to see Colin on the outs with Penelope and dress him down because she just cannot stand to see Penelope suffering.

In a fandom, in the Polin fandom, where Colin is so often seen as an accessory for Penelope, a reward for Penelope, a voice piece for praising Penelope, it was so nice to see Colin put at the centre of something, it was so nice to see Eloise put her brother first. And not just ahead of Penelope, but ahead of her own fears and heartache as well.

[sweetbuckybarnes]

Colin Bridgerton’s 26th Birthday

Pairings: Colin + Penelope Bridgerton

Summary: The Bridgerton’s celebrate the third son’s 26th birthday.

Main Masterlist | Polin Masterlist | Birthdays Masterlist

Ever since he was a young boy, birthdays in the Bridgerton household had been a day of celebration. Violet made party hats, and Edmund taught him how to shoot a bow and arrow when he turned 14.

He had a feeling this year was going to be different.

This was the first birthday he was married. To Penelope.

A blissful smile grew on his face. He reached his hand over to pull his wife closer. But, it was cold.

She wasn't in bed next to him.

"Pen?" He called, sitting up in bed - the sheet pooling around his hips. "Penelope?" They had been married for nearly a year, but Colin still had nightmares of Penelope marrying Lord Debling. He would have remained alone for the rest of his life, pining for the one woman he could not have.

He scrambled out of bed and rushed to get his clothes on. He shot out of the bedchamber like a cannonball.

He could hear chatter coming from the drawing room, the door nearly slammed into a nearby wall - the surprise of his entire family sitting in the drawing room was overshadowed by his wife smiling at him, wearing a 'Bridgerton blue' day dress.

"Happy birthday, Colin!" He heard his family say, but he didn't pay them any attention at the moment. He went straight for his wife and pulled her into the tightest hug possible.

She let out an oomph and looked over at the Bridgerton's. "Colin?" Was her muffled question into his cravat-less chest.

"You weren't next to me when I woke up," he tells her hair. Closing his eyes tightly, he took in the smell of her strawberry shampoo (something Anthony and Kate had brought back from India). He pulled back, only to plant multiple kisses on her face.

"Colin," she protests (only a little). "Your family."

"Our family, I believe, Mrs. Bridgerton."

Colin had been pacified with cake and biscuits for breakfast (an unusual treat). All of the Bridgerton's had learnt that whatever food had landed on Colin's plate - that was his and his alone.

That was until Colin had taken the last raspberry tart. Penelope's favourite.

He heard his wife let out a little sigh from her nose. "Pen? What is the matter, my love?" He asked her, watching her shake her head, refusing to answer him. "Penelope?" He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger - so she was looking at him. "What has you sighing like this?" He watched as her eyes darted from his face to the last raspberry tart sitting on his plate, then back to his eyes. "Is this what you want?" Bringing said tart into her line of sight. She nodded.

The Bridgerton's watched the most recently wedded couple, as Colin lifted the last tart from his plate. AND GAVE IT TO PENELOPE.

"Are you sharing your desserts now, brother?" Anthony asked, from one of the armchairs, his beloved wife Kate sitting in his lap.

"Not with any of you, dearest brother," Colin replied, wrapping his arm around his wife as he attempted to pull her into his lap.

"Ouch!" Penelope exclaims at the slightly harsh pull. "That hurt, Colin."

His eyes widened, and he set his plate down on a nearby surface. "I am ever so sorry, my love," he almost coos. Once he realised where his hand was currently placed, resting on her growing bump, where the next Bridgerton baby was safely cocooned. He peppered the side of her face with kisses.

"Why would her side hurt?" Eloise asked, looking at her brother and her best friend.h

"It does not matter at the moment, Eloise," Violet said, brushing away her fifth child's concern. She knows exactly why Penelope's side hurts - it was the same hurt she got after amorous activities with Edmund.

"But, mama-"

Eloise was shot down with a slightly harsh glare from Violet. The subject was dropped. For now.

Anthony and Kate manoeuvred themselves, so the Viscount was now able to stand up. "I know you all do not like my speeches," which pulled a groan of annoyance out of Benedict and Colin. "But I shall keep it short and somewhat sweet."

Penelope looked over at Colin, who was already looking at her with stars in his eyes.

"I would just like to wish our dear brother Colin a happy 26th birthday," he heard Colin make a comment about how he was now 32. "I think we all wish that our father could have been here to see how happy you have become. Especially with Penelope."

Colin reaches for the side of his wife's head and brings her temple down to his lips. "If father was still hear, I would have married you a lot sooner," he tells her, looking over at Violet, who had the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "You always said to marry someone who feels like your dearest friend, I just wish I had done it sooner."

Penelope smiled and burrowed herself close into Colin's side. She knew how much he beat himself up over how long it took him to truly see Penelope. He couldn't believe how long Penelope had held her feelings inside her for so long.

"To Colin," Anthony raises his glass in his younger brother's direction.

"Also," Colin interrupts. "To father, for gathering the courage to ask," he looks over at his mother with a smile.

The Bridgerton's eventually found themselves in the gardens of Bridgerton House.

Gregory and Hyacinth were playing their version of hide-and-seek, which had been taught to them by their older brothers (Anthony, Benedict and Colin), and in turn, this had been taught to them by their father.

Violet had always hated it when her children got so competitive - but it was a Bridgerton gene she didn't truly understand.

She was currently sitting on the other side of Penelope, who was watching her husband play the hide-and-seek game with the two youngest Bridgerton's. Violet looked over her daughter-in-law, the former Lady Whistledown. "I do believe it is your birthday next, Penelope."

She made a passing hum. "Is it?"

"How did you celebrate your birthday at home?" Penelope was silent on this topic. No one (not even Colin) knew the traditions of the Featherington household. "Penelope?"

She was still silent as she looked out at the family she had married into. "I never truly celebrated my birthday, compared to how you all do."

Violet looked at Penelope, aghast.

"Oh, Penelope."

"My birth is just another reminder I was born the wrong gender. I was the last chance to be born a boy," Penelope sighed, as Violet took her daughter-in-law's hand in hers. "Mama has always made it known I was a disappointment. Especially when Lord Debling did not propose. Her first words to me? What had I done? She had believed I entrapped Colin when we got engaged.”

Violet sighed. She knew Portia Featherington wasn't the best mother in the ton, and she was looking out for her daughter's best interests - but the way she had previously put down Penelope, she knew the Featherington bunch were slowly working on rebuilding some kind of relationship.

"Well, do not worry. You are a Bridgerton now, there is not only me who will make sure you have the best birthdays from now on."

"Thank you, Violet."

Colin hurried over to his wife's side. "Penelope, help me!"

[major-mads]

Chapter 12: A New Normal

John "Bucky" Egan x Ruth Morgan (OFC)

Series Masterlist

A/N: interrogation time boissss!!!

Collab: On a Wing and a Prayer by @footprintsinthesxnd

Word Count: 6k

October 13, 1943: Dulag Luft: Frankfurt, Germany:

As John Egan slouched into the leather chair in his interrogator’s office, everything ached. His eyes, his head, his ribs, his back…everything. On top of all this, the Lieutenant before him was offering him a drink like he was an old friend, not a prisoner of war who’d already faced unimaginable horrors in the last few days alone. 

Not a man who lost everything he had to live for. 

John raised his glass, unflinching as his sore muscles cried in protest. “Here’s, uh, mud in your eye.”

The fact that Haussmann didn’t know the phrase brought him a sense of satisfaction. The most he could have in his situation.

“So, where shall we begin?”

Putting down his glass, Bucky’s eyes stared at the cup as he spoke bitterly. “How about I was in a town and someone shot four of the guys with me.”

“Oh my...What town?” he asked quickly, almost too quickly.

‘It’s all a tactic. Every single word,’ John reminded himself. ‘Don’t give him anything.’

“‘Russheim, something. I don’t know-”

Haussmann cut him off, a false look of concern painting his face. “Rüsselsheim. That’s tragic. I will add it to the report.”

‘All lies.’

“Your colleagues,” he continued, grabbing a pen and paper. “The ones who were killed, if you could give me their names and rank, I can pass it on to-”

It was John’s turn to interrupt, the flashes of the men’s lifeless bodies making his chest burn in anger. “I don’t know their names. We just happened to be put together. Look, I appreciate the drink and would really appreciate a thicker blanket, but as far as what you’re gonna get from me, it’s gonna be name, rank, and serial-”

“And serial number. Yours is O-399510…Yes, I already know that,” the interrogator grinned in a way that made the Major’s skin crawl. 

“I also know that you were born in Manitowoc, Wisconsin. Married?”

John’s gaze fell back to his drink, Ruth’s smiling face appearing in his mind, her infectious laugh ringing in his ears. 

‘In a perfect world, we would be.’

An unsettling grin reappeared on the Nazi’s face as he flipped through John’s folder. “From what I hear, there’s not a wife, but there is a woman. A recent development, hmm? What is her name?”

For the first time since the Major sat down across from the Lieutenant, his words got a response. Bucky’s eyes snapped to meet his, anger flaming in them for a moment before he concealed his emotions once again. He bit his tongue to keep from opening his mouth. This man had no right to even utter her name after she was ripped from him by this scum’s people.

“Ah, yes, I found it. Ruth Morgan. Nurse, or should I say, former nurse, with the…,” he checked the file. “806th Medical Air Evacuation and Transport Squadron.”

Former Nurse…With those two words, the emotions he’d tried to get control of the past few weeks threatened to consume him, and his heart sank to the depths of his gut.

 ‘It’s a tactic. He’s trying to break you down,’ John repeated. ‘Don’t listen to him.’

John shifted in his seat with barely furrowed brows and a clenched jaw, reminding himself to breathe as the pressure in his chest mounted at the fact that this man knew so much about Ruth. 

Did Hope or Frank somehow survive? 

Did they go through here?

Is she alive?

These questions ran rampant in his mind in the small office, the sickening portrait of Adolph Hitler looming over him. 

“Squadron, 418th. Group,  the 100th Bomber Group. H for heavy, headquartered at Thorpe Abbotts.”

Refusing to give a single ounce of information, Bucky stared at him blankly as the Lieutenant closed the file, a despicable smirk still plastered on his face. 

“Are you a baseball fan, Major?”

No response.

“Certainly that’s not a national secret,” he suggested, grabbing a pack of cigarettes from a desk drawer and offering one to John, who stared at it for a moment before taking one silently.

Haussmann stood and lit his cigarette. “Sorry, they are not as good as your American brands. Lucky Strike is my personal preference.”

Bucky took a drag of the cigarette and let out a sigh, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t even know if he could roll his eyes with the constant pain that surged through his right eye. Double vision had been plaguing him since he first got knocked in the face that night in the town…Rüsselsheim, as he now knew, and only worsened after his head took a few blows.

“Baseball is still a bit of a mystery to me with all the sticks and bases, running in circles. There was the big championship last week, wasn’t there?”

Tapping his cigarette ashes into the small tray on the desk, John finally broke his silence. “Yeah, World Series.”

“Ah yes, the World Series. The New York Yankees versus the St. Louis Cardinals. A rematch, yes?”

“We were up two games to one when I went down,” the Major nodded slightly.

John thought Ruth would’ve gotten a kick out of Hugh’s behavior toward him after the Cardinals beat the Yankees in game two of the series. He could see her teasing grin and hear her lighthearted giggle that never failed to make his heart jump. Her memory touched every part of his mind, and it was impossible to go through a day, an hour, a minute without thinking of her. 

“So you are a Yankees fan. Would you like to know the outcome of the World Series?”

‘I’d much rather get outta here,’ Johnny thought, but he stayed quiet, staring at the desk. 

“Was Buck Cleven a Yankees fan?”

His gaze lifted to meet the icy eyes of the Luftwaffe Lieutenant, and he had to take a steadying breath to fight against the rage coursing through him.

“No? Yes?” he smirked. “I know Ruth Morgan was not.”

The mounting pressure in Bucky’s chest became too much, threatening to explode if he didn’t release it. “And how do you know that?” he all but growled at the man.

One side of Haussman’s mouth curled into another cruel grin and he ignored John’s question, leaning over the desk to grab a newspaper, revealing a New York Times paper from the Bremen raid. “I hear Cleven was quite the flyer. I read of his exploits in the Regensburg attack.”

Everything he did was choreographed…no word or action was wasted.

“He was your friend wasn’t he? It seems we are shooting down all the good pilots…and apparently nurses, as well.”

“I wouldn’t be bragging about killing medics,” John scoffed roughly, his nostrils flaring as his voice hardened. “Pretty sure that’s a war crime.”

“You and I both know C-47s are not marked with a red cross, Major Egan.”

Silence.

“Did you know that on your Münster attack, only one of your planes returned?” Haussman held up a finger. “One.”

Although he didn’t show it, Bucky’s mind was in shambles. ‘He’s got to be lying,’ he thought. ‘There’s no way only one plane survived…but has he said anything untrue this whole time? Has he lied at all?’

“But back to you, Major Egan,” he began, inspecting his file once more. “I regret to inform you that you are, as you say, in a bit of a pickle. We know you were originally apprehended near Ostbevern…but we don’t have you on any record as a crew member on any planes from the Münster attack.”

Lies. 

“The Gestapo would say that makes you a spy.”

Johnny’s eyes rose to meet the man’s gaze as he spoke up, keeping his voice even amid the rage bubbling within him. “They would be mistaken.”

“One thing I can tell you, Major, the Gestapo is never mistaken.”

Haussmann’s bright blue eyes bored into John’s softer, greyish irises as he stared at him before taking a deep breath. “So I need verification of your group, your squadron, and your plane so that I can confirm to them that you are indeed what you say you are.”

‘What else can they take from me?’

Bucky took a drag of his cigarette, his gaze falling back to the desk as he spoke, the smoke filling the air around him. “John Egan,” he raised his brows before tapping his ashes again. “Major. O-399510.”

“Major,” the Nazi said quietly, almost sympathetically. “May I say that you’re not doing yourself any favors? The Gestapo, they are different than me. Me, I’m like you: a flier…a man of honor. And I can understand things in a way that perhaps my colleagues from the highly indoctrinated security forces might not…I’d like to talk about Buck Cleven and Ruth Morgan, John.“

The anger within the Major simmered away, leaving only sadness in its wake…all-encompassing grief that he’d been pushing down for almost a month, reverting to his old drinking habits to numb the pain. 

“But I’d like you to talk to me as well,” Haussman continued. “The number of replacement B-17s expected at Thorpe Abbotts next week, for example.”

And Bucky’s gaze drifted back up to his interrogator, he didn’t even blink. Despite his inner turmoil, he refused to let this man get anything from him. “John Egan. Major. O-399510.”

“I see,” he nodded, raising his voice to the men outside. “Wachen. Wir sind am Ende.”

A few seconds later, two guards appeared and hauled John to his feet. He withheld a groan as his bruised body was jostled toward the threshold. Just before he passed into the dark hallway, the Lieutenant called out to him one last time.

“Oh, Major Egan, about the World Series,” the Nazi began, his lips twisting into a cruel smirk. “The Yankees always end on top.”

The Yankees always end on top…

John’s eyes widened, and he felt as though the air had been knocked from his lungs as the familiar words hung in the air. His own hand had written them in his final letter to Ruth just days before she went down. His mind reeled as he was thrown into his cold, dark, and flea-infested cell.

Sitting on the small stool at the foot of his wooden cot, hope surged within him. If they’d read the letter, it meant she’d been here…

“She’s alive,” Bucky whispered, a shaky grin tugging at his lips as tears burned his eyes. “Ruth’s alive.”

October 14th, 1943: Stalag Luft III: 04:00: 4 AM

Two weeks had passed since Hope, Ruth, and Frank arrived at Stalag Luft III. To Hope, those two weeks in that hell hole felt like two years, and sleep didn’t come easy for her. She spent the first few nights on high alert, her eyes watching every movement outside the hut. She was convinced they’d be moved again, and after losing her friends in Dulag Luft, she wasn’t going to let the same thing happen again. Ruth tried to reassure her that they weren’t going to be split up again, but even she was unsure of what was planned for them. She tried to stay up with hope for several nights, but sleep eventually overtook her each time and she slipped into a dreamless slumber.

After several nights without sleep, Hope grew irritated, snapping at any minor inconvenience, but she’d been forced to bite her tongue when the guards barked orders during their morning and night appells. The stern glare Frank sent her told her now was not the time to put up a fight. 

She hadn’t meant to be so short-tempered but as she’d watched Ruth and Frank sleep, she’d resented them for resting easy. Her mind spun twenty-four hours of the day, constantly on alert, continually in overdrive. Frank had joined Ruth in staying up with Hope, taking it in shifts to try and distract her from her constant worry. 

“Do you know what happened to her in Dulag Luft?” Ruth whispered to Frank one night while Hope paced up and down the hallway. 

Frank shook his head with a yawn, “She won’t tell me what happened. When I found her, Ruth, I…” Frank shook his head, “Well, she wasn’t the same Hope I used to know.” 

After Hope rejoined them, her pacing finally ceased and she sunk onto her cot, her eyes finally growing heavy. The guard's patrols seemed less frequent that night, and Ruth watched as Hope’s eyes gradually slipped closed, her body slouched against the end of their cot. Leaning against the wooden beam wasn’t the most comfortable position, but Ruth and Frank were just thankful she’d finally fallen asleep. Once her breaths evened out and she was sleeping soundly, the pair slipped into their beds. Frank fell asleep the second his head hit his straw pillows, but Ruth lay awake, staring at the wooden slats of the bunk above her.

It was no secret that Ruth Morgan was a worrier, but Hope? She was the strong one who was always there when Ruth needed her to be. But seeing her best friend so debilitated by her fears and anxieties scared her to death. It had only been two weeks and the camp was already taking a serious toll on the Americans.

With a quiet sigh, Ruth closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind, willing herself to drift off to sleep. But just as she felt herself succumb to sleep’s embrace, a sudden noise jolted her awake and she sat up in bed. It took her a moment to realize that the noise was coming from Hope’s bunk.

Ruth’s heart ached as she watched Hope toss and turn in her sleep, her brow furrowed in distress. Her chest heaved beneath the thin blankets, and her movements grew more frantic with each passing moment. 

“Hope?” Ruth whispered, reaching a tentative hand through the gap between their beds to shake her foot. When she whimpered in response, Ruth’s concern deepened, and she moved from her bed to crouch in front of Hope. “Hey, wake up,” she said a little louder, rubbing her shoulder.

No response.

Ruth shook her friend’s shoulder roughly, her worry-stricken voice filling the room. “Hope!” 

Hope’s eyes opened suddenly and she lurched forward off the end of her bunk, nearly knocking herself out on the bunk above her. 

“Hey, it’s okay.”

Hope stared back at her, her dark eyes wide and full of tears as sweat trickled down her forehead, her chest heaving against her overalls. It took her a moment to realize what was going on as Frank’s worried face appeared beside the blonde’s. Ruth reached forward, trying to brush away the hair that had fallen across Hope’s forehead, but Hope caught her wrist, squeezing it painfully. 

“Don’t touch me,” she hissed, pushing herself quickly off the cot and marching towards the door of the hut, not once looking back at her friends.

Ruth’s heart sank as Hope’s words stung like a slap across her face. She watched helplessly as her friend retreated to the door. For a moment, she was frozen in shock, her mind racing as she tried to make sense of what had just happened.

“Hope, wait,” she called out.

But Hope didn’t stop. She disappeared through the doorway without a backward glance, leaving Ruth and Frank standing in stunned silence.

Frank glanced at Ruth, his brow furrowed in concern. “Are you okay?”

Ruth blinked back tears, her throat tight. She shook her head slowly, unable to find the words to express how she felt as Frank pulled her into a hug. “She didn’t mean it.”

Despite his reassuring words, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was changing between them. She had always leaned on Hope for support, finding solace in her unwavering presence, but when she tried to extend the same comfort, she was met with rejection. Their friendship was built on openness and their ability to share everything, and now that foundation was cracking beneath the pressure of life in the camp.

Stepping back, Frank cleared his throat and grabbed his jacket from the table. “I’ve gotta go after her. Stay here.”

Ruth nodded, her gaze fixed on the door through which Hope had disappeared moments before. A knot of worry tightened in her stomach as she watched Frank leave, his footsteps echoing faintly down the hallway in the quiet of the night. Alone in the dark room, she sank back onto her bunk.

How had things changed so quickly? Just days before they had been a united front, promising to get through their time in the camp together. But now, it felt like there was a growing chasm between them, widening with each passing moment.

She ran a hand through her hair, hurt, worry, and frustration simmering within her. She longed for the comfort of her friend’s presence, for the reassurance that everything would be alright. In that moment on her bed, Ruth decided she could no longer rely on others to do that for her, to reassure her, to get her through her anxiety. If Hope crumbled and their roles were reversed, would she be able to step up into that role? She didn’t know. But she did know that she’d do everything in her power to get her friend back.

Ruth sighed heavily and lay on her back, trying to find some semblance of peace amidst the chaos of her thoughts. She turned toward the wall, her eyes finding a small photograph propped up on the small shelf against the wall of her bunk. Oh, how she longed to go back to when things were so much simpler, to when she and Hope were happy, to when she could smile and laugh with the man she loved, to when she still had her freedom.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she whispered the words she longed to say to him even though he couldn’t hear her. “I love you,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper in the silence of the room.

Frank walked back into the room with a sigh, tossing his jacket back onto the table. “I can’t see anything, soI’ll go back out in a little bit. I don’t think she wants to be found right now, anyways.”

“Did I do something wrong?” she inquired quietly, turning to face him. 

He ran a tired hand down his face and scratched his growing stubble. “No. I-I just don’t know what to do. I’ll wait up for her, alright? You go to sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Now go on. I know you’re exhausted.”

Bidding him goodnight with a quiet murmur, Ruth reached out and picked up her photograph, holding it closer to her chest as she gazed at the image of her and John. Their smiles were frozen in time and the sweet memory was immortalized forever. Despite her worry for her friend, Ruth finally succumbed to exhaustion, her grip on the photo never faltering as she drifted off to sleep.

Five AM came in the blink of an eye, and Ruth begrudgingly sat up, wrapping her blanket around her body when the morning chill bit at her skin. She looked over at Hope’s bunk, expecting her to be staring up at the underside of Frank’s bunk like her nightmare never happened, but all she saw was crumpled sheets. Frank was always the first awake, sitting at the table with a cup of lukewarm ersatz coffee he got from the kriegie kitchen next door to their block. Ruth stood and found Frank’s empty bunk looked the same as Hope’s.

Bright sunlight filtered through the room’s one window, lighting up the space. Frank was surely out searching for Hope, and Ruth doubted that he got even a wink of sleep waiting up for her. With a sigh, she got herself ready and sat out on the steps of her block, watching as the camp came alive with prisoners, each starving for their breakfast. The warm days had turned into cooler ones as September faded into October and Summer faded to Fall. Soon, she feared, winter would be upon them and they would have no way to stay warm. They heard from the compound old-timers of the harsh German winters, and they sounded anything but pleasant, especially as a prisoner of war.

A man walked by her with a cup of coffee and her stomach rumbled as hunger pains shot through her abdomen. Although it had only been three weeks since they began eating less-than-nutritious meals, Ruth noticed her already large clothes nearly falling off her slimming frame. They all tried to eat anytime they could, but it still wasn’t enough, even with the Red Cross packages the received once a week. In truth, the packages were the only thing really keeping the kriegies from starving.

As she scanned the compound for any sign of her friends, Ruth’s eyes caught on two familiar figures and she let out a relieved breath. She stood to her feet and did her best to put on a smile as they approached. Hope sent her one in return, but it didn’t reach her eyes…none of her smiles did anymore. Linking her hand through Ruth’s, she squeezed it gently. Ruth was somewhat pleased to see even the faintest smile on Hope’s face, even if it was forced. She’d been so withdrawn since their arrival to the Stalag that Ruth worried she was slowly slipping away before her eyes.

The trio made their way over to the kitchen window, each collecting their modest breakfast of black bread, which according to a few of the old timers, was filled with sawdust. 

“I miss the breakfast back at base,” Frank groaned as he chewed through the tough, brown slice. He was thankful he had always had good teeth, otherwise he risked losing a few just at breakfast. 

The girls nodded in agreement, their mouths watering at the thought of powdered eggs, toast, maybe even some bacon and hot coffee that didn’t taste like total crap. Ruth still kept a vivid memory of the man by the gate when they arrived who was just skin and bone. Hope had seen a man similar in the infirmary where she was helping out and told Ruth that the man was still in good spirits, but that didn’t help the fear that grew inside her chest. 

Would she end up just like him?

Hope was thankful for a job in the infirmary working alongside a few of the camp's doctors. She’d been given a sense of purpose which had been taken from her, and despite the lack of sleep and the ache in her chest, she managed to pull herself out of bed each day for that purpose. Ruth was happy for her. Hope was born to be a nurse, it was her calling and seeing her helping people again gave them all a little hope. The back and forth between Hope’s moods worried her friends more than anything. 

Ruth found her own purpose in the camp by teaching some of her fellow POWs how to read. Many of them were just boys when the depression hit and were forced to drop out of school to work the fields to keep their families afloat. So every morning after breakfast and their morning appell, Frank walked her to the Kriegie school, nicknamed Kriegie University, and she taught a few classes throughout the day. One was a basic reading class, and the others were literature studies like the ones she taught back home. If there was one thing Stalag Luft III had an overabundance of, it was books. The south compound’s extensive library was a popular spot, and it gave Ruth the perfect material to use in her classroom.

Frank took up working in one of the camp’s relied-on gardens. The girls had encouraged him to take up a study he might have been interested in, but he seemed happy in the garden. 

“You girls know I’m better with my hands, that’s why I fly the plane,” he’d told them. 

He’d supplemented his time between the garden and playing baseball which seemed to bring back some of the old Frank. Watching him play reminded the girls of the fun-loving young man he was. The war had aged them all and they sometimes forgot that Frank wasn’t really that much older than them.

After breakfast and the 6 am appell, they went their separate ways, Hope strutting toward the infirmary and Frank dropping off Ruth at the school on the way to the garden. Her classroom wasn’t big by any means and was just bigger than their room, but it sent her back to the days before the war, before she joined the nurse corps…when she poured into young minds day after day.

Her first class of the day was British Literature and around ten men slowly filtered through the door and sat at the three tables spread throughout the room. The men in this class, unlike her basic reading ones, were college students when the war broke out. Some were drafted while others put their studies on hold and volunteered. The youngest was 19 and the oldest was 21. Remembering her years in college, Ruth’s heart ached for the boys and their sacrifice of a normal life to defend their country. 

All of them had their notebooks given by the Red Cross open and ready to go when Ruth handed out the day’s text, each one greeting her with a half-smile and good morning. 

“Good morning, everyone,” she announced, holding up the book she handed out. “Have any of you read Beowulf before?”

“Don’t forget to read pages 186 through 215 before next class!”

Once the last of Ruth’s students trickled out the door, she sat down at her small desk and graded their latest assignment. Reading paper after paper, marking correct or incorrect, circling a letter at the top of the page, time sped by. Even back home, the process of grading papers, despite how pesky and time consuming it was, always gave Ruth time to think. Sitting in her small classroom, she thought of her family, her parents,  how worried they must be. It was the first thing she’d do once they were allowed to send mail again, write a letter telling her parents she was alive. Home. It was also a topic she thought of often.

Her mind then shifted to John as it often did at random moments. Ruth wondered what he was doing. Was he fully in his element, soaring through the sky in his fort, leading his men through no matter what? Sitting in their corner of the Dickleburgh pub nursing a glass of whiskey? Singing his heart out in the Officer’s Club? Whatever he was doing, she hoped he thought of her like she did of him. The devil on her shoulder whispered that he didn’t, that he’d forgotten about her the second she went down. But the angel on the other reminded her of all the times they shared, all the memories full of love and promises for the future. He wouldn’t forget about her…she wouldn’t let him. His would be the second letter she’d send.

Hope. The nightmares, the closed-off attitude, all of it. The woman she knew and loved, her best friend, was morphing into someone she didn’t recognize. What could she do if Hope wouldn’t let her in? How could anyone help if someone doesn’t let them? Soon, her brain became a jumbled mess of memories, Beowulf, worries, and everything else.

The smell of honeysuckles in early spring, Grendel, John smiling at her atop the Muggs, A+, family dinners at the local diner, 10/12: B-, Hope’s terrified eyes from that morning. 

The hours passed in a flash, and before she knew it, Ruth stared at the bare wood of her desk, the full stack of graded papers to her right. She blinked away her thoughts and glanced at her watch, cursing under her breath as 11:55 am stared back at her. 

She was almost late to meet Frank and Hope for lunch! Ruth quickly gathered her things and left the school, treading through the ever-present mud toward the mess hut. Her eyes scanned the men around her as she walked. She caught sight of one of the guards, his bright blonde hair sticking out from the sides of his cap while he stared at her, never pulling his eyes from her figure. Ruth pretended she didn’t see him. The less attention she showed, the better. Over their two weeks in the camp, the guards hadn’t messed with them at all, but they stared…they loved to stare. 

“I was about to come looking for ya!”

Frank leaned against the mess hut with a cigarette between his fingers, blowing out a puff of smoke. The unease from the guard slowly faded away at the sight of his comforting form. He wouldn’t let anything happen to them if he was near…they both knew that.

“I had a bunch of papers to grade,” she sighed, mirroring his stance against the building and readjusting her sling. “Time…it, uh, got away from me.”

He raised a brow skeptically, taking a drag of his cigarette. “Are you sure that’s it?”

“No,” Ruth whispered brokenly.

“What is it?”

“Everything, but Hope…Frank, I-I’m worried about her.”

“Something must’ve happened at Dulag Luft when we were separated. She’s been different since then. Not that we’ll ever be the same, but-”

“I know,” she interrupted. “We need to find out. If she won’t talk to me, maybe she’ll talk to you. We have to try.”

Frank ran a tired hand down his face, his eyes filled with worry. “I’ll try.”

“I don’t know what else to-”

Spotting Hope over Ruth’s shoulder, he cleared his throat and nodded her way, the pair going silent as the woman approached.

“Everything alright?” Hope asked, falling into step beside Ruth who gave her a reassuring nod. 

“Yes, I was just telling Frank about my morning, I’ve been so busy with classes that I almost missed lunch.” 

Hope was pleased to see the way Ruth’s eyes lit up as she spoke about her teaching. She would have loved to have known her before the war, before they each had a part of themselves ripped away, but seeing her now reminded Hope that they might be able to find their old selves again one day. 

Lunch consisted of thin, runny potato soup with a few vegetables from the camp garden. Frank beamed as he pointed out his effort in helping prepare the vegetables for their meal. 

“Who knew Frank was so green fingered,” Ruth chuckled, slurping the soup from her spoon.

“Well they way he used to hug those hedges back in Norfolk,” Hope jested, “It’s a wonder ‘The Angel’ never ended up in one.”

Frank rolled his eyes dramatically at the girls' antics, pleased to see they could still laugh about something. He wasn’t sure how they kept him smiling but they always managed it. He worried of course, between Hope closing herself off from them and Ruth’s endless worry he wondered how they smiled at all. There were moments when it felt like they were back in Berkshire sitting around the mess hall telling stories from their childhoods.

“Well, I always said you should have got your pilot wings, Hope. I wouldn’t have minded you as a co-pilot.” 

Hope gave him a faint smile. Thinking of perusing a different career seemed so far away from where they were.

“She’d have given you a run for your money, Frank,” Ruth giggled again, finishing up her soup. She glanced over at Hope who just sent her a small smile again. There were moments when she saw the old Hope again rather than the closed-off shell of the woman she had become. She wasn’t sure what to do, but she could only tiptoe around on eggshells for so long before someone cracked. 

“I should be getting back to my classroom,” Ruth declared, pushing back her rickety, wooden chair and stepping back. “I’ll see you both later.” 

“Be careful, Ruth. Do you want me to walk with you?” Frank asked, half pushing his chair back but she waved him away. 

“It’s not far, Frank. I’ll be fine,” she smiled at Frank but nudged her head towards Hope, trying to prompt Frank to follow through on their earlier conversation. 

Frank nodded. 

“Bye Rue,” Hope’s quiet voice could barely be heard above the noises around them but Ruth did. She sent her friend a small smile. It felt like that’s all they did now…smile at each other. 

Ruth hoped, prayed Frank would get through to her, that she’d finally open up. That she’d get her friend back. Taking a deep breath, she pushed down her fears and prepared herself for her next class: reading basics.

October 22, 1943: Stalag Luft III: 15:00 HRS: 3 PM

Ruth walked around her classroom, her boots thudding against the bare wood floors as she glanced at the test on her student’s desks. They were required to read a passage and answer a few comprehension questions afterward, but some of them were struggling. These were the boys who had little to no education, who were never taught to read or write more than basic words. Part of the 10% of draftees the government alloted could be illiterate. 

Noah Alden stared at the sheet of paper, his squinted eyes focusing on the passage, letter after letter, word after word, sentence after sentence, but his mind couldn’t wrap around its meaning. With a defeated sigh, he dropped his pencil and lowered his face into his hands. A few classmates sent him sympathetic looks, but they soon went back to their own tests. Ruth crouched beside him, his eyes raising  to hers. 

“Whatcha stuck on?” she asked quietly.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure about that?”

He stared at her for a long moment, seemingly contemplating whether to tell the truth or not. He decided to be truthful “I just can’t get it.”

“The reading part? Or the questions?”

“The reading part. See this here,” Noah started, pointing to the third sentence in the paragraph. “What does this mean?”

Before Ruth could respond, the shrill sound of a siren filled the air and the men all looked at each other excitedly, their eyes widening in anticipation. Even Noah’s downtrodden expression lifted, revealing a crooked smile on his lips.

New arrivals.

She stood to her feet. “Go on,” she grins, shooing them away with her hands. “We can finish this Monday.”

Within seconds, the six thanked her and were out the door, hooting and hollering like high school boys as they ran to the gate, hoping to glimpse a familiar face. Ruth collected the papers and deposited them inside her desk. For the first time since 1942, Ruth Morgan did what she was called to do: teach.

After going back to her room, grading some assignments, and catching up on some reading, she checked her watch. 5:30 pm. Hope and Frank were usually back by then, so she decided to search for them. Ruth checked the garden and the infirmary with no luck, but she felt as if the earth fell beneath her feet when she saw a group approaching from the gate. At the front of the group was Frank, who held a unmoving Hope in his arms. 

“Frank!”

Ruth’s mind went haywire at the sight and she ran to meet them. Was she dead? What happened? As she neared them, the other men’s faces came into focus. They were instantly recognizable as men from the 100th, but her main focus was her friend. 

“What happened? Is she alright?” Ruth sputtered, coming to a stop before him and hesitantly raising a hand to Hope’s emotionless face. Dried tear tracks streaking down her cheeks were visible from where she leaned into Frank’s embrace. 

Frank just sighed, his tired eyes falling to Hope’s  figure. “Cleven’s here.” 

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'I Cannot Heave My Heart Into My Mouth’: Shakespeare and Alice Winn’s In Memoriam

or, an academic blog post i wrote for an english literature assignment as part of my shakespeare module at uni. a huge thank you to @jovienna for proofreading and providing the most helpful suggestions, i'm very proud of this piece and i just got the mark back for it today and i received a 2:1! enjoy :)

‘But since she pricked thee out for women’s pleasure, / Mine be thy love and thy love’s use their treasure’ (Shakespeare 13-14): a declaration of queer love, not just in Shakespeare’s Sonnet 20, but also in Alice Winn’s debut novel In Memoriam, published in 2023. Throughout the novel, the character of Ellwood quotes various poems with famously homoerotic undertones as a way of professing his love for Gaunt, a fellow student at the boarding school they attend, in an era of repression and illegality concerning homosexuality. The works of Shakespeare become some of the most notable amongst this number.

Shakespeare’s Sonnet 20 depicts desire for a man that he cannot have. The love interest of the poem, being a man, must be for the pleasure of women only, as Nature has decided. As the closing lines express, all Shakespeare can offer the man is his own love. The meaning of these lines are certainly not lost on Ellwood, and to the regret of the poet-speaker who is resigned to Platonic love (Mahony 70), writes them ‘in pencil on the wall above Gaunt’s bed, and Gaunt had hoped they meant something.’ (Winn 42).

Despite this, Gaunt refuses to let himself believe this possibility, though Ellwood assumes that he simply does not reciprocate his feelings – ‘anyway, Gaunt already knew that Ellwood loved him. Because of the sonnets.’ (Winn 113). More than three hundred years after the publication of his sonnets, Shakespeare’s words connect with Ellwood and provide him with an outlet. Ellwood deliberately selects Sonnet 20 to ensure Gaunt knows of his love in a way that stops him ‘going completely mad and confessing wild, undying love for him, which he knew would have made Gaunt extremely uncomfortable.’ (Winn 113). Shakespeare puts pen to paper to write of his own unrequited love for another man, and Ellwood follows in his footsteps.

These closing lines of Sonnet 20 are not the only writings of Shakespeare referenced in In Memoriam, with King Lear arguably creating an even more heartfelt moment between the two men. The First World War, in all its tragedy, does bring Ellwood and Gaunt together, with the two only acting on their desires amidst the ‘hyper-masculine atmosphere of war’ (Winn 120). Following their honourable discharge from the army, the two move to Brazil together to live in relative safety. Ellwood suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, and as a result of this no longer recites poems as he used to, unable to see the joy and meaning in doing so after seeing what one man can do to another in the name of war. Without his poetry as a means of expression, Ellwood struggles to express his emotions and the love he feels for Gaunt, leaving us with the heart-wrenching lines ‘some long-dead poet must have written the lines with which to answer, but Ellwood no longer knew them.’ (Winn 342).

And yet it is the words of Shakespeare, a long-dead poet, which Ellwood utilises to convey the sincerity and weight of his emotion to Gaunt when he feels a simple ‘I love you’ would not suffice. Frustrated with his own inability, Ellwood evokes the words of Cordelia, Lear’s daughter, so that Gaunt knows it is not a lack of love which prevents him from speaking.

‘Ellwood grimaced and shook his head, clearly frustrated. “No, Henry, I,” he said, “I – I cannot heave my heart into my mouth.” Gaunt stared at him. Ellwood looked just as shocked as he was. “Shakespeare,” said Ellwood. “King Lear.”’ (Winn 375)

‘Can it be that Cordelia’s emotion silences her at a moment when it is vital that she should speak?... Can it be that the quality and weight of her love drives her to understatement and to brusqueness?’ (Morris 141). Ivor Morris’s reasoning for Cordelia’s words ring true not just for the context of King Lear, but also for the final pages of In Memoriam. Much like Cordelia, it is not a lack of love which leaves Ellwood speechless, but an abundance of it. Throughout his adolescence, Ellwood finds solace and comfort in Shakespeare’s sonnets, quoting his words to convey his emotion when his own will not suffice. Following the tragedies the war has brought the pair and the world alike, Ellwood turns from these romantic poems to a tragic play in order to suitably express this shift in his feelings. Witnessing the horrors of war has changed him fundamentally as a person, and yet the works of Shakespeare, alongside his unwavering love for Gaunt, remain a constant in his life.

Works Cited

Mahony, Patrick. “Shakespeare’s Sonnet Number 20: Its Symbolic Gestalt.” American Imago, vol. 36, no. 1, 1979, pp. 69-79.

Morris, Ivor. “Cordelia and Lear.” Shakespeare Quarterly, vol. 8, no. 2, 1957, pp. 141-158.

Shakespeare, William. “Sonnet 20: A woman’s face, with Nature’s own hand painted.” The Sonnets and A Lover’s Complaint, Penguin Classics, 2009, p. 22.

Winn, Alice. In Memoriam. Penguin Books, 2023.

[a--a---a]

tell me what you thought about season 3 of bridgerton. I also had really mixed feelings about the Michaela/Michael thing (like the last person) but overall the season was really okay for me. it felt like the PR was more than we got but otherwise I liked most it. i could have done without the Mondrich storyline and the 8 Benedict sex scenes but it was good.

I agree: The season was generally good. I liked it and have watched it several times now. (That is 90% my Nicola Coughlan obsession speaking, but nonetheless.)

Things that I thought were OUTSTANDING:

Agatha/Violet scenes - I fucking love them. Agatha is my fav character in the whole show, and that friendship is amazing. I am an Agatha, Charlotte, and Penelope girly as my top 3.

That scene outside of Genevieve's ("What good am I to you?") because fuck yes, Penelope. - Put that man in his place. Sometimes your only need for a man is to want him there because you love him.

Colin crying - 'nuff said.

Kanthony - there could have been more, but I understand.

Francesca & John - so relatable. I know you talked about Michaela being contentious, but I am excited for her. Again, I didn't read the books. I just want wlw. I loved John's interactions with the boys.

"You Belong With Me" for their wedding dance??? It's THEIR SONG, and I was so happy about it!

Lord Anderson - I am looking forward to him and Violet "gardening" in s4.

the Featheringtons and their character growth.

Nicola Coughlan's perfect breasts. 🥵😍

Things I DID NOT LIKE/WANTED MORE OF:

Not enough Polin scenes. Just in general there were not enough. Spicy would have been fine, but I am in the same camp as many that say they wanted more happy married life before the baby was born.

Colin accusing Penelope of trapping him and then never apologizing for it.

Colin telling Penelope she "has no say" in how the LW blackmail thing got handled. Like 🛑. You are JUST a man, Colin.

Luke Newton's wig for the wedding specifically (but it made other appearances).

Pen's wedding dress could have been more fairytale (but I do love how it highlighted her complexion, etc.).

Not enough Lord Debling/he didn't go with Cressida. I know she was the pt 2 villain, but like...he will be gone for three years.

Eloise was incredibly annoying without Pen. I didn't realize how Pen changed her and maybe softened her in ways. Her without that person to maybe not tame but guide her really showed that.

Too much Mondrichs. I think it would be cool if their son fell in love with Hyacinth and it was another friends to lovers we got to see evolve over time, but besides the ball and finally giving up the club, I feel like maybe 3 scenes in total would have been fine.

Too many Benedict sex scenes. The last was my fav by far, but for the most part they were fillers and didn't drive the plot. If they did it would have been different.

There's probably more, but that's all I've got.

I do think this is my favorite season yet because of Penelope, but there could have been changes. I hope they drop those deleted scenes, but even if they don't i am pretty satisfied with what we got. 💛

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Bridgerton S3

"I must say, all those piano lessons in Bath have reaped their reward." Is this their subtle explanation for where This Francesca has been the past two seasons?

"You do realize what tune she was playing right now, don't you? Mozart's Funeral March." "Oh god." Benedict said: I am both a scholar of art AND a smart aleck, Mum

Say what you will, Bridgerton knows the power of a good haircut

LMAO did they have Colin get his tiddies out in the carriage just to show off how hot he is since it'll take a while for him to get naked with someone else?

"It would be pleasant to have my own house." LMAO Francesca, extremely real reason to get married

I like the Featheringtons' husbands, they're just here to vibe

Speaking of marrying into money, Kate is truly the most gorgeous person alive. Bridgerton said: Do you want to watch beautiful people in fancy outfits struggling to socialize? And I said: Yes!

The way that despite their troubles, Eloise STILL protects Penelope's identity and keeps Cressida from sniping at her. The love story of MY season

"My stories from abroad are not suitable for such tender young ladies." With all due respect to Colin: Brother eugh, what's that?

"I take comfort in knowing that you will always be here to take care of me." What's the 1810s equivalent of putting your parents in a home? A convent? Lady Featherington inches closer with her every word to Penelope

"Perhaps something like what they are wearing in Paris?" [...] "I love it brother. Where is it from?" "A trader in Marseille." "My perfume is from Paris?" Bridgerton said: SUBTLETY WHO, COLIN X PENELOPE 4EVER

The sneaky looks on Anthony and Benedict's faces as they help Gregory run away with his bow and arrow KILL me

"I lost the battle, and I've no appetite for the war, so I've joined the winning side. Not unlike you, I take it? Or is this truly the new you?" Eloise said: People in superficial society houses shouldn't throw stones, Colin

(Also. I am in love with Eloise, she charms me more every season. Though wild that they're dissing Emma, Austen has women with SO much agency and Emma specifically is the lady of her house, someone throughout the novel learns that she DOESN'T know everything, and who vows herself not to marry until she changes her mind and falls in love with a friend)

[Voice breaking] "Now you have your life, and I have mine." ELOISE WAHHHHHH. I think she is totally justified, but god, friendship breakups are SOOO brutal

"In truth, I enjoyed having a purpose. Whereas now that you're back, I'm not certain what I'm supposed to do exactly." Explore bisexuality, Benedict <3

YEAHHHHHH Mondrichs!!! I hope society is kind to them

HAHAHAHAHAH I love Kanthony

Kate: You do know that what we are doing is not how one makes an heir?

Anthony, head still between his wife's legs: We have to start somewhere.

If they don't want me to want Penelope and Eloise to be in love, they HAVE to stop making her look at Penelope like that

HAHAHAHHA I love that Penelope, while getting attention from her nice hair and dress, is still extremely awkward when being talked to by a man. It is endearing

After the Queen Charlotte spin-off, I have a new appreciation for Lady Danbury and the Queen's friendship. Agatha knows how to get Charlotte going, 'bestie Lady Whistledown will get more recognition than you if you do not tell everyone who the hottest young debutante is'

Wondering if Kate's gown style is meant to invoke salwar kameez?

I hope Francesca and Penelope become closer!! Two gals who would rather die than talk to any man in this room:

"Why do I have the feeling that you in turn, know how to make one wither, if you so choose?" I do like Lord Debling so far, even if he looks MUCH older than Pen LOL

Every time they have a one-on-one interaction between a man and woman I'm like, why does it only sometimes matter if they're chaperoned LOL? Inconsistent

"You miss me, but you'd never court me. Is that correct?" GET HIM PEN

Not a season goes by that the Featheringtons are not in some kind of financial trouble. They're like the Coopers from The O.C.

"You disapprove? I thought we did not like Penelope." "What you did was cruel and unnecessary." I like both halves of this interaction, that Cressida is saying 'we' as in wanting to be on the same side as Eloise, and that Eloise is calling Cressida out for how awful she's been treating Penelope

I like that Cressida is both acknowledging that she's been unkind but also giving mind to the fact the women of the ton have been raised to be in competition with each other

God I love Kate and Anthony this season, sappy and sex-addled but also Kate making sure to think of Violet's needs and how difficult it would be to suddenly no longer be viscountess

While I do love the idea of charm lessons, and I cannot help but notice MOST of what Colin likes about Penelope are about him, "I know that you will lift my spirits, and make me see the world in ways I could not have imagined." "[You] have always truly made me feel appreciated.") Don't love that

"I will never forgive her," said Colin, about the woman he just called his very good friend and would later go on to marry

Surely the Mondrichs can decide how things are done in their own house, I highly doubt Violet and her husband or Kate and Anthony do separate bedrooms

HAHAHAH I wonder how many episodes Eloise will have fancy hand muffs to hide Claudia Jessie's broken arm

I guess I was wrong about Colin not getting naked, he's just frequenting brothels I suppose?

"Pen, living for the estimation of others is a trap." Spoken like a man who can inherit property and fortune through means other than marriage

I was thinking Francesca and Eloise were on similar plights, but it seems more that Francesca's beef is with any sort of attention than with being married

Hee hee, I love Hyacinth beating her older brothers at cards

"Somehow my character gets lost between my heart and my mouth." I feel that, Penelope! I have no idea what I'm saying half the time

"Your eyes are a most remarkable shade of blue, and yet they shine even brighter when you are kind." If I were Colin, this would immediately do me in, a compliment that specific is really something

This journal thing is symptomatic of Penelope's lack of respect for anyone's privacy, even if it is good she understands what Colin was doing in Paris

"I do not wish for her to be friendless, and you are perhaps all she has now." Eloise is SO understanding given what Penelope has said about her AND Colin

"I think of Prudence as a bonbon. Delicate, and oh so agreeable." "Mr. Dankworth, you are so... pretty." I love Mr. Dankworth. Pretty, loves his wife, gives great compliments, what more can I ask for?

Bold of Eloise to tell Cressida about Colin helping Penelope, she knows that Cressida has been purposely cruel to Pen before

"I think we have found your talent. You are a most entertaining speaker." YEAHHHHH Eloise, getting along with the girls with her gift for gab

"How are we expected to understand all these society rules when even someone born into this world cannot grasp them?" [Benedict makes a face but then smiles at being insulted] As I have been from his very first moment on screen, I'm in love with Benedict:

"We kiss, and then he makes an odd sound, and then goes to change his breeches." "His breeches remain on?" HAHAHAHAH every season there's a problem with no one offering the ladies any formal sex education

"I cannot think of anything [to gossip about] at the moment." GOOD FOR CRESSIDA

"I do not much care for idle gossip," said Penelope, like she wasn't the Queen of Capitalizing on Idle Gossip

I am SHOCKED that they have a character in a wheelchair on this show, and even more shocked there wasn't immediately some comment drawn to it, but glad! It may be a weird show when it comes to race, but at least it's not weird when it comes to ability?

The way the Colin Has Been Helping Penelope reveal was SO dramatic I thought it might actually be a dream sequence

"We can do whatever we want now. We are a married noble couple." That's what I'm talking about, Will

Penelope said: "Be a homie and kiss me," and Colin said: "I do not have the strength to deny that kind of request!"

This second kiss HAS to be a dream sequence, there's no way they'd jump into this without any preamble

Oh it was COLIN'S dream sequence, love that for him!!!!

Fhfkhfkjhf Colin: I did NOT have a wet dream, in case anyone wanted to know!

"[Hyacinth] waits for the maids to throw out last week's copy of Whistledown because she knows she is not allowed to read it." HAHA this is such a big brother thing for Benedict to say

"It was quite harsh what she wrote about you. Unnecessarily so, I think." Eloise said, be nicer to yourself, bestie

Colin does not know how to act around Penelope, this is the first time I've been endeared by him all season

"If I secure a proposal, it will be because of you." You know what that is, Penelope? Foreshadowing!

[Disdainfully] "Apparently he only eats vegetables." They disapprove of vegetarianism in Georgian England. Also. What a thing to say in front of two South Asian women, when India has the HIGHEST proportion of vegetarians in the world, and also has many historical and ongoing ties between vegetarianism and spirituality kjghgkjhg

Is the open mocking of other people supposed to be why we as the audience should be okay with Penelope exploiting other people's drama for profit? Cause I still don't appreciate 1810s Gossip Girl

God, Mrs. Mondrich is SO gorgeous. Peak beautiful people in fancy outfits

"I find your frankness immensely refreshing." I like Lord Debling more with every scene

"Do you feel some attachment to him?" Colin said: Penelope do you still like me check yes or no

Penelope just going "Yeah, me too," to all of Cressida's specific commentary about Lord Debling's interests is difficult to watch

Colin stopping the balloon is the first moment I have personally been attracted to him (ever, I think). I think the more casual outfit does do him some favours. This is his Anthony in the Lake moment

Weel weel weel, perhaps Violet will be finding someone to tend to her garden (her libido) soon

"I see you have met my brother, Lord Marcus Anderson." It would be SOOOOO funny if Violet fucks Lady Danbury's brother after finding out Danbury fucked her dad. It's very messy friendship LMAOOOO

"Perhaps we can enjoy the silence together." I like this man

"I am not afraid of you." "That... is a mistake." I was hoping Benedict would get to flirt with a man this season, but alas it does not seem to be in the cards (you're still bisexual to me, Benedict Bridgerton)

"Members of society do not work." Then how do they make money? Is it only what the crown gives you? What about the lawyers and doctors? Also lol @ this guy admitting that being a landlord isn't an honest line of work

"I do not wish to court someone exactly like myself. I want to be with someone who knows who they are, and embraces their own pecularity, as I do." Men in real life can never do for me what the men in Bridgerton do for me

"It is rare to begin as friends and for both parties to then feel more." I love that Colin is seeking out romantic advice from his mum, he's the only child so far who has earnestly listened to her

HAHAHAH not the I'm-asking-for-a-Friendcesca routine

Colin looked SO desperate to kiss Penelope that for a second I thought he might actually do it in the ballroom in front of everyone

They're selling me on Debling a little TOO much; it's like Daphne and the Prince. Like I know Pen and Colin are great friends, and that they have feelings for each other, but Debling seems like he would make an amazing husband, while I am less convinced that Colin would. Colin is sweet, but he is not street smart, and lacks the emotional awareness that Debling has:

Even if it's not what I ordered, I do enjoy Benedict catting around

What is Lady Danbury's beef with her brother LOL

"Step another pace backwards, you read me too well." Queen Charlotte's spinoff has really made me have a whole new appreciation for Brimsley

"But how will they know each other if they do not speak?" Honestly a very valid question, Violet

Considering that Lord Samadani wants to have eight kids, perhaps he should ask how many kids Francseca wants?

"Well, let him tell you about it. Men love to explain the world to us. If we have already explained it to ourselves through reading, then they will feel superfluous and unnmanned." Lady Featherington years ahead of her time in defining mansplaining HAHA

"Are there any novels in which the man goes travelling for a very long time, but his wife is happy to stay behind, tending the estate? I suppose that would not be a book with much sentiment, would it?" "Not necessarily. But if the wife had her own interests in life, then perhaps they could both be very happy." "A practical match, but a happy one? I like the sound of that." Again, you are selling me on Debling too well. I cannot believe you are making me root for a blond man with a Vegeta hairline*

*There's nothing wrong with the way this man looks, he just looks much older than Penelope!

"But it is tiring, is it not? The necessity for us to remain caveliar about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?" Colin Discovers: Toxic Masculinity Bad

"Do you know what is romantic? Security." Real, Lady Featherington

"My head is bottle-weary." What a poetic way to say you're hungover

Do we think Cressida and Eloise could fall in love? Let me have at least one lesbian in this show, please:

"And is your heart located in your breeches?" Apparently Lady Danbury's beef with her brother is that he is a slut

"To be honest, my work has such a large portion of my heart it may difficult to make more space. But I am very glad that you are someone who seems to have such a full life." Alright, I can see why Debling might not be the perfect match

Colin said: What up Penelope I'm here to ruin your marital prospects

"But these past few weeks have been full of confounding feelings. Feelings like a total inability to stop thinking about you. About that kiss. Feelings like dreaming of you when I'm asleep. And in fact, preferring sleep because that is where I might find you. A feeling that is like torture. But one which I cannot, will not, do not want to give up." I'll hand it to Colin, that was a pretty good confession, 8/10, I'd knock points off for the torture remark

Whoever is dating the Bridgerton cast has to be so strong, these scenes so impassioned

"For God's sake, Penelope Featherington, are you going to marry me or not?" Good for them!!!

I will say, bold choice to hard launch to the fam in the wee hours of the night immediately after a ball and fingering in the carriage, but if anyone's going to be cool about it, it's the Bridgertons:

EXTREMELY fair of Eloise to exit right away when she finds out her best friend with whom she has shared a borderline romantic breakup after several years of exploitation of her family for money and at least two pointed attacks on Eloise and her brother suddenly announces she's gonna be her sister-in-law

"And until he knows the real you, he cannot possibly love you." YOU RIGHT, ELOISE

"I will tell him. You have my word." "Very well." Kind of Eloise to still take Penelope at her word

NOT BENEDICT MISSING HIS BROTHER'S ENGAGEMENT BECAUSE HE WAS OUT PHILANDERING

Anthony and Kate are SO beautiful. I loooove them

"I am simply enjoying the view of my ravishing wife, and soon-to-be mother of my child." OOOOOh Kanthony baby, love that for them

HAHAHAHAH Anthony immediately forgetting how happy he is about the baby because he is PISSED another sibling is getting married without his permission

"I am one of the brothers as well." "I think of you as the family pet." BRUTAL HYACINTH HAHA

"If I do have to marry a man who could be my great-grandfather, we can at least use his money to shop, and queen over society like Lady Danbury." Cressida you are so lesbian to meeee

"The final part, the betrothal. it did all happen rather... swiftly." "It was swift because you--" "Are you going to duel your own brother or...?" Anthony's definitely thinking about it, Benedict!

Anthony insisting on Colin telling Penelope the depth of his feelings for her. That's growth, baby!

"I proposed to [Penelope] out of love, nothing less. And were you not so narrowly concerned over your own standing, you might see see that Penelope is the most eligible amongst you." Now THIS is the romance I'm talking about, Colin

"I will always stand up for you. Because I love you... Pen." "Are you sure?" [Nods] AWWWW they're so sweet

"You are cleverest, bravest woman I have ever known." Finally a compliment that feels like it's about Penelope (even if it was immediately followed by a comment about Colin)

I love Colin's Lustful List of How Hot His Fiancee is, and that he asks her specifically if she wants to stop because she's a lady!!

Oh smutty consensual Bridgerton, we back baybeeeeeeeee

"Tell me what to do." "I will do everything." "No, tell me." Ohhhhhh I love this

I LOVE knowing that Nicola Coughlan requested to be as naked as possible for this scene as a memory of how hot she is. And she was RIGHT

"Can we do it again?" "Give me five minutes. Maybe ten." HAHAHA this was a perfect scene from start to finish

"Is this the only reason you wish to delay our news? You are happy, I hope?" "Oh... Very happy." I love Anthony checking in on Kate about her pregnancy. He is such a sweet husband

"I wish to be married. Very much, in fact. I just hope my husband will not hide my piano stool from me." "I would not dream of it." I have been sold on John Stirling since his first shared silence with Francesca, I love them!!

"You seem to be quite good at [planning hospitality.]" "Oh, I am. I'd still much rather be out riding somewhere." I love Eloise and Kate's friendship also

"Finally, the woman will get the consequences she deserves." You see, Penelope, this is why you should have told Colin you were Whistledown BEFORE you agreed to marry him. Or before sex, or at any point whatsoever. You KNOW he has beef with Whistledown. This is engagement-ending stakes

God Eloise has been SO reasonable this whole time but I really do think the 5000 pound reward is a fair incentive to sell Penelope down the river for her own sake or even for Cressida's. It's tough being a lady in the 1800s!

"Somber clothing is best. Gray or brown. And we do not flit about town, engaged in gossip within the ton. We shall attend no more than one ball per month, and only if the hosts are of strong moral character. I certainly do not believe in music, and modern art nowadays is absolutey scandalous. Her tender eyes and ears will never be exposed to such filth." Not to be dramatic but I think Lord Greer has to die. Somebody needs to spook him really hard, he's like 105, it won't take much

"Featheringtons support one another." "Is that what you were doing earlier, supporting me?" "You are right, I have been unkind. But it stops now. And thankfully we have your engagement party coming up to allow us our fresh start." Parents really do think they can fix years of trauma with a single 'my bad'

"Your ledgers will not miss you, but your family will." A good wake-up call for Mondrich

"Do not take an interest in her. I have a new bow and arrow. Would you like to see it?" Tweens are still the same in 1815 HAHA

Hahaha Lady Danbury could not be emanating "Please don't fuck my brother," vibes harder. To which Lady Bridgerton said, "You fucked my dad, I'm definitely fucking your brother!"

"If it proves too difficult for you to reveal the truth, I will be merciful and reveal it to him myself. You have until midnight." Good for Eloise for giving her a deadline!!

AWWWWW John struggling through the boots story. He said: I'm an introvert and I will not be socialized, xoxo

"I know it is unlike you to cajole your own children." "You mock me." "As you rightly mocked me all last season." I missed these interactions between Anthony and Mama Bridgerton!!! I love when the Bridgertons are all in the same place

HAHAHAHA not Eloise dropping a really threatening post-script to Colin's speech about how excited he is for marriage

If they don't want me to want Penelope and Eloise to be in love, they gotta stop being so fucking intense all the time. They're turning charades into their own private intellectual battle

Also Cressida is reasonably, pretty jealous, considering the homoerotic friendship fight vibes. She said: Hey, I thought it was my turn to be gay!

Eloise said: I do not have time for two homoerotic friendships, sorry Cressida, Penelope has seniority

"All that to say, sometimes I miss what is right in front of me. But not Miss Francesca. Her, I saw straight away." I love you John, you are my favourite Bridgerton character of the season (book readers, tell me nothing!!)

"It is a great change, but you and I will make our way with our child, as we have always done with each other," said Anthony, like they weren't a whole mess last season public fucking in the Bridgerton gardens and getting into horse accidents

OMGGGGGGGGGG Cressida! Saying she's Whistledown so that she doesn't have to marry Lord Greer is truly a 'work smarter, not harder' moment

The smart move for Penelope would be to say nothing at all as Lady Whistledown and see how the Cressida thing pans out. Also, TELL COLIN!!

"You have many gifts, but cleverness is not amongst them." A harsh review on Cressida from Mama Cowper

"It is one thing to follow the rules. But if you want to win the game, you must lead it. Otherwise you will always be on the defensive." I love Agatha mentoring the Mondrichs

"Lady Bridgerton. Forgive my intrusion, I simply forgot my hat." Lord Anderson left his hat so he'd have an excuse to see her again. This is No. 1 in the Flirting Playbook

My question is: How do you have a booty call when you have have seven of your children in your house. Eight if you count in-laws!

Anderson really came to just flirt with Violet and leave. I love that!

"Excuse me, I have been taken ill of the plague, and you are all doomed by association." HAHAHA John is so funny. I keep saying I love him, but it's true

HAHAHAH Benedict ending his macaron fight with Gregory and Hyacinth by saying "Last macaron for you," to John, his new soon-to-be brother-in-law is incredible family dynamics at play

"Perhaps I can make Lady Whistledown go away, so she shall not be able to harm any of us again." "You will speak with Miss Cowper?" "With the scribe herself." Eloise is a WAY better friend than Penelope deserves

"Eloise, I have worked too hard for too long. Of all people, I refuse to let Cressida Cowper take credit." We have passed Bad Friend and circled to deranged. It is NOT girl boss behaviour to lie to your fiance and BRAG about exploiting your friend. Get some help, Penelope!

"Lady Whistledown is my name. Not hers." "Your name is about to Bridgerton. You cannot be both." YOU TELL HER, ELOISE

"We think speaking to the Queen would be the wisest decision." "Well, if you think you are up to it." "We would like you to speak to the Queen." Francesca said: I'm not afraid to have my mommy fight my battles for me

"What about my dreams?" "What dreams? Ladies do not have dreams. They have husbands." I know is a great line and a really stark commentary on the lack of independence for women of the era, but it also kinda reminds me of 'I do not remember names, I am female' in Queen Charlotte and that kills me a bit HAHA

"And my greatest wish has always been for you three to do better than I did. And you have." Penelope having her Mum Trauma healed in real time

Also Lady Featherington, the mess that she is, continues to be one of the most compelling characters in this show

"I am hosting a dinner party later this week. For you, and me, and my dear friend Paul. Will you come?" [CHANTING] BISEXUAL BENEDICT, BISEXUAL BENEDICT, LET HIM KISS PAUL

"I'm writing a manuscript in fact." [High pitched, perturbed] "Oh, are you?" That's also how I feel about Colin's manuscript, Benedict

Colin dancing with Penelope in the empty church <3 Stoppp it's so sweet. (Also. TELL HIM)

"May I present Lady Keswick." Danbury said: You will not be fucking my best friend on my watch, brother!! If only Eloise was this efficient

"It is no wonder Penelope abandoned you. All you ever do is talk. You clearly just envious that I have made something of myself." "Perhaps I am envious of Whistledown. It is quite a feat. And after spending a season feeling nearly invisible, I almost understand why one might be driven to write it. Congratulations on your hard-earned success." Not another homerotic friendship break-up. That's 2 for 2, Eloise!

It must be weird for all the Featheringtons now that Penelope is the favourite child

Well, burning every copy of Whistledown she's made and hanging up her pen is the second best thing that Penelope could do other than TELLING COLIN

They're really namedropping the town of Mayfair more this season than any before it

"You know my favourite part about dressmaking is seeing the glow on a woman's face when she puts the dress on. I can't imagine ever giving that feeling up. At any rate, we will make you the most beautiful dress." I appreciate Delacroix sharing what she thinks about Penelope giving up the column without pushing her in any sense

Things are going pretty well for me Bisexual Threesome Dreams:

Every since that one post about how the Bridgertons are the Kardashians of their town because they're popular, rich and keep getting with people of colour, I CANNOT stop thinking about it. Particularly for Lady Bridgerton and Lord Anderson, who are now Nicer Kris Jenner and Old Timey Hoe Corey Gamble in my mind

HAHAHAHAH Agatha really said: Marcus I will introduce you to EVERY widow in this town if it keeps you away from Violet

"Not bad. Not bad at all." God I love the Mondrichs earning the Queen's respect by throwing the sickest first ball the town has seen

"I have supported you." "You have been perfunctory in your support." Something something when the people who you love fail you

"Not every attachment must be dramatic and hard-fought. What John and I have is easy... and I love him, Mama. Even if it is not the love you want for me." We have now circled back to Violet's S2 ideology that Bridgertons are physically incapable of having a healthy courtship. Francesca has one, and it's nearly destroying her relationship with her mother LMAO

"The night before I was to be married, I very nearly escaped to freedom. Do you think I did not know that it was you who betrayed me to our father? I heard him thank you." That's really fair, I know it's been like 30 years and Agatha has a really nice life now, but financial independence does not make up for years of marital [LOUD FOGHORN NOISE] and the general unpleasantness of being married to Lord Danbury

"Soma. Soma..." "Soma? You think you can call me by my born name, and right the wrong?" Lord Danbury took her NAME? EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I genuinely think that Marcus didn't know. It's giving, for me it was the worst day of my life, for you, it was a Tuesday

"Apparently the wine has made me rather rude." "It has also made you rather charming." I think Benedict is about kiss a man. I have NEVER been happier while watching Bridgerton. I have been saying Bi Benedict since Day 1. He's my people. That is a bisexual man!! I had to pause to hop around for a minute because I am that thrilled at the possibility what I have been asking for 3 years might actually come to fruition. GOD BLESS SHONDALAND. [HOLT FROM B99 VOICE] VINDICATION

Benedict after a man has flirted with him for the first time: I gotta go think about some stuff

I was joking, but HE DID have to go think about some stuff. Aww baby, you'll get there!

Not "[In BSL] she is the Devil," at Cressida hahahaha Sign Language Mama doesn't hold back

"Those [personal passages in my journal] are only for you." Awwww Colin that's sweet

Cressida is so unhinged for posting a Whistledown mid-ball. I do love the drama of it though

HAHAHA them having a close-up of Mama Cowper's arm with ink stains if we couldn't tell it was her from Cressida's near-and-far-far-and-wide speech earlier to the cohesive bulletin of her mum's writing. They don't do subtlety in Bridgerton

AWWWW the Crisis of Cowpers bringing Eloise and Penelope back together again. I can only imagine Colin's gonna overhear their conversation

"Writing was the only way I felt I could have a voice. And I should've been using the column to give a voice to the other voiceless. I have done plenty of damage with my pen. Please, let me use it now to do some good." "You must get a full issue out right away." I LOVE YOU PENELOPE AND ELOISE SOLVING THIS TOGETHER. CRIMES PARTIALLY FORGIVEN, PEN!

"You... are Lady Whistledown?" Turns out he followed her to the publishing house. FINALLY THOUGH. Talk it out, you Bonkers Betrothed

[Tearfully] "All of the lies... you have told me. All of the things you have written about me and my family." That is SUCH a fair reaction Colin, Penelope really has built an empire on shit-talking your family in secret

"I will never forgive you." Really? Cause you've got like 3 weeks to figure it out before your wedding, Colin

"Perhaps, because a few of [the Bridgerton children] may be of dubious parentage." What does that even MEAN, Cressida!! Which parent are you suggesting was getting around

Also, how's Penelope planning to explain the situation with Colin to anyone. What's Colin gonna do? The last time a woman lied to him, he had to end an engagement

"How many eyes exactly do you think there are in the ton?" "Double the amount of people, I would imagine." Philippa and Prudence's dialogue is great

"Whenever I try to grasp her hand these days, she does not swat it away with nearly the same gusto." Prudence has married the only man in this town with a rejection kink

"Perhaps I should read it then. I could use a distraction." You can't read your way out of bisexuality, Benedict. Try taking Am I Gay Quizzes and failing them. It worked for me!

"I cannot help you with this, Pen. I am so grateful for everything you have done for me, but already, I feel in the middle between you and Colin. Perhaps I always have been." That's because your friendships always lean romantic, Eloise!! And your best friend loves to lie all day every day

"But I hope you know that my care for you is not contingent on your aid. I am here for you, Agatha. Always. Even when there are no unmarried children left to help." [Softly] "Thank you, Violet. That means a great deal to me." Ohhhhh I love their friendship

"Are you going to stop publishing?" "I do not know." At least Penelope is finally being honest

Colin said: I'm still gonna marry you, but I'm not gonna be happy about it, Pen!!!

HAHAHAHA Tilley inviting Benedict over for an After You Ran Away from Our Threesome Offer Debrief. You know, I found them boring in the first half, but they've really sold me on the second half

"I have known men like Mr. Suarez, but I myself have never felt tempted... before." Oh, that's a qualifier Benedict

"But a feeling between two people, whatever their sex, is the most natural thing in the world." Lady Tilley said: Let me be your Bisexual Guru, Benedict

"If you did not feel anything with Mr. Suarez, then let us, you and I, continue on our own. But you should know... my staff are very discreet." GOD. That we are not only getting bisexual Benedict but that he is getting a bisexuality ARC. More than I could've asked for. I am kissing the Bridgerton writers on the mouth. Giggling and kicking my feet

Look at him trying to figure out if his sexuality. Benedict Girl til I die. FAVE FROM DAY 1

Violet lustfully watching Lord Anderson eat a fruit jelly. This is EXACTLY what Colin did to Penelope. Like mother, like son. All of her kids are different aspects of her personality

"I am not uninterested in exploration. But I will not know if I am ready for that, until after the affairs are... in order. Especially because I am not the only whose affairs need ordering." Violet said: We cannot start a situationship until you sort out your relationship with your sister, Marcus

When Cressida stared into the mirror I did expect Chappell Roan to start playing in violins

"Well, if I am to be bold, I should need some time to think about it." HAHAHA John Stirling, love of my life (second only to Benedict)

"Is everything well?" "Is everything well with you?" The B & C are really going through it on this stag night

"You were a girl who did not know her own power." "But does that justify it?" "No." Madame Delacroix is the realest friend

I really am glad that Colin is airing out all of his beefs with the Whistledown papers. He deserves to give her a lecture

"I can take care of myself." "Then what good am I to you?" "Colin, I love you!" Colin, you have value beyond what you can do for others

Also I can't believe they're ending this fight by getting frisky on the street. WHERE ARE YOUR PRIORITIES, YOU FREAKS? (AFFECTIONATE)

Relationship status: It's extremely complicated:

"Two glasses is celebratory. One whole bottle is a cry for help." HAHAH I love Kate's zingers, she's truly sharp as a tack

[Kate, laughing] "You think our marriage is perfect?" [Anthony, immediatley heartbroken] "Is it not?" HAHAHAH THEY ARE SO CUTE

Every time Kate makes any reference to marriage being hard, Anthony immediately gets upset and goes, 'I love you, our marriage has no flaws, why are you bullying me?'

"I drunk a whole bottle before my wedding (the second wedding) and it was deeply celebratory. Three raw eggs in the morning." It's been a while since Anthony has broken out Dad Mode, but that was a good one

The context that Marcus was 10 years old when he ratted out Agatha trying to escape really does make me not blame him quite so hard for it. He was a kid, he didn't understand long term consequences!

"You had something in you all along, a kind of courage I never dreamed of having. I have wished so many times that I had stood up to him. For you. For myself." New Bridgerton Dubious Race Trope unlocked: Why do all the Black characters (Simon, Agatha, the ongoing plot around the Mondrichs, Marina and Charlotte not having parents at all) have abusive or absent fathers? Discuss

But to be fair, most people in Bridgerton have absent or dead fathers. They're like 'Men? We don't need 'em!'

Also, good for Marcus for putting his resepect for his sister into words

"Do not come for my cane. I suppose you got all the good joints in the family." What a chronic pain sister with a healthy brother mood

"At last, my life is full of joy. And I've been afraid you would take it away from me." "Any joy I am after, I deep hope you are a large part of." Ohhhhhhh we love a healing of family trauma. This is the season of Therapizing Your Relatives

The way they keep referencing Anthony and Kate's wedding that they completely skipped. LOL

WHY IS YELLOW BY COLDPLAY THEIR WEDDING MARCH SONG LMAOOOOO

To date they have not shown a wedding under normal circumstances. Someone's always fighting, or lying, or under duress. It's brutal actually

Ohhhhh the way Colin nods at Penelope like 'we'll be okay.' MY HEART. I do love that they are friends in love getting married

I do feel like this was the most normal wedding so far. Good for them!

"Which brother or sister do you like the best?" "Gregory, clearly." HAHAHA I love Benedict and Eloise's little chats. Best sibling duo

"Love is not finite, Eloise. The friendship you have with Penelope is a lucky thing. As is the one you have with Colin." AWWW Eloise is sad because she thinks they don't have room for her in their hearts (Penelope especially, I think)

"Our child... will always be a Bridgerton. But I should like them to know that they are a Sharma as well, know their history. And it is important for me to know it so that we can share that history, with our child, together." I know that this India trip probably solves a plot purpose of giving Anthony and Kate a place to be but I can't help but also think of what a great example of cross-cultural parenting Anthony is providing. He's so good!!

Anthony and Kate really do be kissing in public all the time, HA

"Weddings are never for the bride and groom, even when things are... well, between the couple." "Thank you, for allowing me work it out for myself." [Lightheartedly] "Well, this wedding couldn't plan itself. I have not had time to meddle. Whatever it is, I know you will resolve it." Lady Featherington and Penelope have come a long way

Them doing the cutaway to them being the only people in the room while they dance. I see you 2005 Pride and Prejudice fan who did directed this scene

"I did not think you a dancer." "Perhaps not. But perhaps we should both be more bold in declaring ourselves." Is it unfair to Colin and Penelope if I say Lord Kilmartin and Francesca are my favourite couple of the season? 'Cause they are

Now that Lady Danbury is cool with Violet and Marcus, Anthony has switched to 'HEY. HEY DO NOT HIT ON MY MUM, LORD ANDERSON. THAT'S MY MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' O'VISION

I love that the Queen said, "Everyone who's not a Bridgerton, get out," and Lady Danbury said, "Hey, I am at least half Bridgerton by now, I'm staying."

"Do you know what it is like to have nowhere in the world where you can truly be yourself? You cannot possibly know, because you are not a woman. You have the choice to be any kind of person you wish to be, while the only choice women have is to conceal the parts of us the world will not accept." Penelope said: Lying to your fiance and exploiting his family for money is feminism, actually

It's very reasonable for Colin to not accept Penelope continuing to be Whistledown

Aww at least Eloise and Penelope's friendship is back in full force

VINDICATIONNNNNNNNN. BISEXUAL BENEDICT CANON. I WIN. WE ALL WIN. I KNEW HE WAS THE MOST BISEXUAL BRIDGERTON. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They split this season in two halves just so they could bisexualize Benedict during Pride Month. That's the reason. I've decided. Happy Pride Month to me!!!!

Also the emotional contrast of these last couple of scenes jgjhgjh

Colin: Fighting with his wife about life-altering deal-breaking secrets 0.03 seconds into marriage, on edge, disappointed and heartbroken

Benedict: Realizing there's a whole other kind of sex he could be having, and having a great time

"You will pay me my sum, or I will reveal the truth to the entire ton." Cressida isn't nice, but she did make a good detective and subsequently, blackmailer

Poor Violet trying to avoid being thrown into scandal once more. Also her and Anthony with parallel declarations that they would've noticed if someone in their house was Whistledown, even though it was Penelope, who until now, has lived across the street

Also also also: Francesca now dropping her own news that she's moving to Scotland Post-Haste

It is satisfying to see Penelope, Colin, Eloise and Lady Featherington all trying to sort out this Whistledown blackmail because they're all aware

"I will not cower to Miss Cowper. I will call upon her tomorrow. Bring her to see this course of action is ruinous for everyone involved." Good luck, Colin

HAHAHAHA again with the contrast of Benedict's family being in crisis while he is off Philandering: Bisexuality Edition

"You do not sound as if you hate Whistledown. You sound as if you are jealous of her." [Unconvincingly] "No I'm not."

Cressida making the sum twice as much + a nice review in Whistledown when Colin tries to empathize with her with his excellent man-free-for-world-travels and supportive family. I'm not gonna lie, kinda girlboss of her

HAHAHAHA Benedict has had no scenes in the past half an hour of Bridgerton but back-and-forths to him and Paul and Tilley. I love it. He's having a great night. They're leaving no doubt about him enjoying this

Also. Not to be bisexual myself. But Benedict being with a man and a woman at the same time is doing more for me than any other Bridgerton scene has ever done. It's a combination of vindication, being a Benedict girl, and the high of hot bi people. Bridgerton. I once again give you a little kiss on the mouth

"You are both adults. You may do as you wish. After all, it is not as though I asked your permission." I cannot believe Agatha is using this Are-You-Gonna-Date-My-Brother talk to confirm that she fucked Violet's dad. Unhinged. Incredible. What the hell!!

"I know my father was a good man. And that you have been a very good friend. And that is all I need to know." Not good enough to not cheat on his wife though, Violet! But I love the sentiment

"And my brother is a good man. And you are a good friend. And that is all I need to know as well." Awww, I do love a mirrored dialogue. I've said it before but Agatha and Violet's friendship is perhaps my favourite on this show

The zoom in on the Birthday hat was EVIL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

"How do you stand society events?" "I suppose I have love to give in abundance. Love for a bit of chitchat. And love for a good party. Especially a party of three." Benedict is still a romantic at heart, even in a threesome pile

OMG HAS COLIN KEPT EVERY LETTER PENELOPE HAS EVER WRITTEN HIM? I LOOOVE

This does kind of get me thinking of how they handle garbage disposal in Georgian England

Finally the embezzlement funds from Cousin Jack come back to haunt them. The Featheringtons are never not in financial crisis

"What will Lady Whistledown write about our disgrace when I am exposed?" "She will write whatever I like her." "That is a agreat power. What a thing you have made for yourself." This is the most optimistic final take Lady Featherington could have on her daughter being an infamous gossip columnist

"It is my great hope that the silence and beauty of Scotland will allow me to know myself better, so that you can all know me better as well. I want nothing more than to be close." Francesca has such a good heart

"For a long time, I thought that is what love must be like for everyone. Surprising, forceful, quick. But you have shown me that there is another way. There is... beauty in the slow approach." You know what that is, Violet? That's growth! She's such a good mum

"May you now live together in holy matrimony until your dying breath." Ominous way to end their vows (book readers, tell me nothing!!)

What is the proper way to court a widow? I guess we'll find out!

"Lady Bridgerton, I see your openness reflected in Benedict, your charm in Colin, your wisdom in Eloise, and a brightness you've instilled in both Gregory and Hyacinth. In this moment, where I feel so much gratitude for my new wife, I feel it in equal measure for the remarkable woman who raised her. I thank you, all of you, from the bottom of my heart." Good speech John, I think you've really won the Bridgertons over

Francesca and John's wedding wins for most normal for sure

AW FRANCESCA AND VIOLET'S DUET. Something something complex relationships with your mother:

Also also also. Why are half the scenes in Bridgerton filmed like we're in somebody's pocket. Or in the flower vase. The huge blurs are distracting

"It is not what you do for me that makes me love you. It is your kindness. Your empathy. How much you care. Just being you is enough, Colin. I do not need you save me. I just need you stand by me." I'm glad Penelope is telling Colin this outright, he needed to hear it

"Tilley, you are extraordinary, but I am not certain that serious is what I want." Benedict is the only Bridgerton who knows how to communicate his feelings directly right away

"Is it because of Paul?" "No. Paul could be Patricia, or Polly, or Peter, or all three at once. What happened between the three of us, what has happened to me since I met you, has made me realize how good it feels to be free. You've opened my world. I am not ready to close it again just now." Benedict said: I gotta sow my wild bisexual oats, Tilley, I am not looking for a wife at present

We are BACK at the Bisexual and Lesbian Sibling Swingset. This is where I first grew so attached to Benedict and Eloise. It really is a full circle moment:

"It feels right now that the next thing I learn may change me entirely." "I agree profoundly with everything you've said, as I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." Their dialogue is so fun

"We should not let so long pass again between us before we meet on these swings to be entirely confused together." BENEDICT. B AND E BEST SIBLING DUO

Lady Featherington saying she's proud of her daughters like it's been ripped out of her forcefully. She is so my mum-coded LMAO

"She calls upon my mercy, asking to address you all herself. To plead her case publicly, before I pass my judgment. So I turn the floor over now to the scribe herself." This is a very dramatic way to resolve the Lady Whistledown situation but I guess they did leave it til the last 20 minutes of the season

Also RIP Cressida, who is definitely being shipped off to Wales

"She seems humbled, but we will be watching that she remains so. What is life without a little gossip?" Wow, all took was 3 minutes of 'my bad, you're actually very brave for doing things where I can see them, I won't do it again xoxo' to win over the whole ballroom and the Queen. Power of Lady Whistledown, I guess!

HAHAHAHAHA THE BUGS THAT PHILIPPA LOVED SO MUCH BEING BUTTERFLIES. I WAS KIND OF HOPING THEY WERE SPIDERS (EVEN THOUGH THEYR'E ARACHNIDS) FOR THE COMEDY, BUT THIS IS MUCH CUTER

"You... are a genius." "I know!" Hee hee, go Featherington (or Dankworth-Finch, as it were) sisters

"There is only one person who loves the Bridgertons more than I." "You knew it was me." "I suspected. You are not the only lady of the ton who can keep a secret." YEAH AGATHA <3

"We can now tell that solicitor that money came from my writing. He will have no recourse. Time for us to do better." [Softly] "My girl." I wonder if Lady Featherington is gonna come clean and give the money back

"You have always had one voice. There is no separating you from Whistledown. And after seeing you speak today, well, I would not want to." AND it fixed her marriage. What a powerful speech

"If my only purpose in life is to love a woman as great as you, then I will be a very fulfilled man, indeed." "I love you. You are very good man, Mr. Bridgerton." I didn't buy the forgiveness because it feels super rushed, but I do buy this

"Francesca Bridgerton. Kilmartin. Kilmartin is my name now." Ggkhkgjhgkjhg why is Francesca so flustered by Michaela Stirling? Is she also gonna go down a sexuality journey?? Not the sibling I anticipated!! Also does them introducing a new character mean the story will follow Eloise and Francesca in Scotland

Also wait wait wait. IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FRANCESCA'S (BOOK SPOILERS THAT I HAVE VAGUELY OBTAINED) OTHER LOVE INTEREST? OH MY GOD

"Only until next year. Do you think Mama would ever let me miss her Masquerade Ball?" WEE OO WEE OO I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE BOOKS TO KNOW THAT THAT MEAN'S BENEDICT'S NEXT BABEYYYYYYY

You know, I kept thinking about how Penelope had lost a titled match for Colin, who is the third son, and it turns out they do get to have a little baby Lord Featherington! And she gets to pass on her family name. I love that for Penelope:

What this season lacked in pacing, it more than made up for in gusto, Bisexual Bridgertons, really powerful and satisfactory friendships, a ton of Bridgerton family interactions, and more than enough romance to keep me giggling and kicking my feet for days. Honestly, it might be my favourite season, for little to do with the main couple, everything to do with the drama and excitement and fun dialogue of it all. I do really keep enjoying this show!! Every part of Bridgerton is good after S1 LOOOOL. KEEP 'EM COMING BABY!

[inkspiredwriting]

A New Addition

Five Hargreeves x reader

A/N: I'm sorry but Mr. Pennycrumb deserve better, So here it is :)

Warnings: None

It all started one sunny Saturday morning when Five and his girlfriend, Y/N, decided to take a stroll through the park.

As they walked hand in hand, Y/N pointed to a group of puppies playing in a pen set up by a local animal shelter. “Oh, Five, look at them! Aren’t they adorable?”

Five glanced over, raising an eyebrow. “Adorable? Sure. But we don’t have time for a dog.”

Y/N gave him a playful nudge. “Come on, Mr. Time-Travel Warrior. We could use some normalcy in our lives. Let’s just go look.”

Reluctantly, Five followed her to the pen. A dozen puppies tumbled around, chasing each other and wagging their tails. Among them was a small, scruffy terrier with a slightly crooked ear and the most soulful eyes Five had ever seen. The pup trotted over to them, wagging his tail furiously.

Y/N knelt down, scratching the dog behind his ears. “Hey there, little guy. Aren’t you the cutest?”

Five crossed his arms, trying to remain indifferent, but the dog’s big, brown eyes were hard to resist. “He’s alright, I suppose.”

Y/N laughed. “Five, I think he likes you.”

The terrier looked up at Five, tail wagging even faster. Five sighed, kneeling down to pet the dog. “Alright, alright. What’s his name?”

One of the shelter volunteers overheard and approached them with a smile. “His name is Mr. Scruffy, but you can rename him if you decide to adopt.”

Y/N looked at Five, her eyes sparkling with hope. “What do you think?”

Five sighed, already knowing he couldn’t say no to Y/N—or the dog. “Alright, we’ll adopt him. But we’re changing his name. How about... Mr. Pennycrumb?”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, then burst into laughter. “Mr. Pennycrumb? That’s perfect.”

The adoption process was quick, and soon they were walking home with Mr. Pennycrumb trotting happily beside them. Five couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Y/N’s joy and the dog’s exuberance.

Once home, Mr. Pennycrumb quickly made himself comfortable, exploring every nook and cranny of their apartment. Five watched with amusement as the dog sniffed around, eventually curling up on the couch.

As the weeks went by, Mr. Pennycrumb became a beloved member of their little family. He was a source of endless entertainment, his antics bringing laughter and light into their lives. Five, who had always been serious and focused, found himself unwinding in ways he hadn’t thought possible.

One evening, as they sat on the couch with Mr. Pennycrumb nestled between them, Y/N looked over at Five with a contented smile. “I’m glad we adopted him. He’s brought so much joy into our lives.”

Five nodded, scratching the dog behind his ears. “Yeah, he has. I didn’t realize how much we needed him.”

Mr. Pennycrumb let out a contented sigh, his eyes half-closed in bliss. Five leaned over, kissing Y/N softly. “Thank you for convincing me to adopt him.”

Y/N smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for agreeing. You know, you’ve got a soft spot after all.”

Five chuckled, wrapping an arm around her. “Only for you and Mr. Pennycrumb.”

As they sat together, the room filled with warmth and love, Five realized that adopting the dog was one of the best decisions they’d ever made. Mr. Pennycrumb had brought them closer, giving them a sense of normalcy and happiness amidst the chaos of their lives. And for the first time in a long while, Five felt truly at peace.

Their new addition had done more than just become a pet; he had become a symbol of their love and the life they were building together.

[girllookingoutwindow]

Rewatching thoughs of 3x06:

Portia chaperoning Polin is a hell of fun.

I like Luke Newton acting but the way he always enters in the rooms always make me feel off. Like, that I can't believe it. Lmao.

The ring and the tint in her hand was beautiful. Like LW was between them, and part of the holly matrimony as well.

Sheeps are better than the old man, Cressida.

Why Violet dress looks same that the flowerpots?

Love siblings fight. Eloise is right, Gregory it's the best brother.

Very small? You're going to marry? What's small about that?

It's not just gossip Eloise. Maybe Pen was just a teenager that more power she understood but LW is a part of her. I know what writing means. You cannot ask a writer to stop, it's like asking to kill a part of their soul. A part that even you Eloise love.

I love the Queen. She reminds me my piano teacher where I was a kid trying to look angry with me.

Prudence being hormonal and jealous it's fun.

Portia is the best character of this show. After Penelope of course.

Dreams? She's right. Maybe I will do a set of gifs of that. Portia has the right feeling. Better than me? The majority of parents are worst than that.

I love Benedict, but I never like what the show does with him. Idk. He deserves better.

Torture Colin? Maybe it's because you can't accept it?

What the story about the club? I never understood what they were trying to do with them?

Ah, Polin looks so cute in the chapel. Hate when shows do the the reason to not marry thing. It's so lame.

Lady D / cockblock

She says she loves him and he looks happy but he doesn't believe him. Love Polin dancing, cute.

Cressida saying to Eloise the same Penelope did. Ohhh.

I want to eat chocolate now Mr Finch. Bad idea.

I don't understand why they destroyed Francesca story that way. Violet was right after all.

Pen, don't destroy them. 🥺

She said to him that she loved him and now he writes again. Colin is so a wife.

I liked green more, Portia.

You cannot stop writing, she's right. Love her friendship. She had the most beautiful dress.

Why Cressida father is always screaming? It looks like someone that doesn't go to the toilet frequently.Cressida doesn't know how to write, what suprise!

Tilly is beautiful.

Colin is searching for Pen. Don't worry boy, she's going to be there. I love that he's always searching for her.

Oh , Prudence! You don't need a reason to cry.

The flowers wer cool. The bugs were better. LW won.

Dancing again! They're that couple that always dance together.

Violet is bad in lying. Why changed Fran story? I liked the idea of slow love.

Lady D and Eloise are jealous sisters. He was a child, but I understand her, maybe blaming him was a way to protect herself of the pain.

Paul is very direct. Don't waste any time.

And still dancing. Cute. I love the colour of Cressida 's dress but it looks cheap. Where is Fife? I wanted someone to punch him!

Polin problems with the dancing? Foreshadowing and writing conflict. Worth it of you? I forget adding that part today.

I love how LW has so many fans. The Q is me when one of my students tries to cheat in a test.

Oh worry Colin!!! The drama!!!

Eloise and Penelope are a chaotic duo. I knew Pen wouldn't be able to stop writing, it's more strong than her. Yes, it's about having a voice. But the smile in her face. She feels alive again.

Colin!? Soap opera! I don't know but I can't take Luke seriously when he's trying to look angry. Makes me laugh every time.

[inklore]

has anyone ever seen a more pathetic man than colin staring at penelope's mouth? trick question, you haven't!!!

[anastacialy]

y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'

[oorevitcejda]

love being cringe (drawing spiderverse characters ponified)

[alteredphoenix]

[Wolf and Pup]

A girl from the Federation and the Canid Lord of the Empire. Both are curious about the other, but none more so than Lazui, who takes in the sight of Michelle sitting between his paws and wonders.