#and is now kind of in a toxic masculinity loop but still doing better bc its way-

[phanwritings]

Not Jealous

Tittle: Not Jealous

Summary: Dan has a crush on his best friend, who has a girlfriend.

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings/Triggers: None!

A/N: I just wrote this? Also the ending cut off kinda weird bc I didn't want to write smut lol

*

Dan was aggravated. He was aggravated because his best friend since he was nine years old has all of a sudden decided to stand him up. And why did he decide to stand him up? Because he wanted to shove his tongue down some girl's throat. Dan didn't even know when they started dating, it was all of a sudden. Phil just came over one day and told Dan that he had a girlfriend and that he had apparently liked her for weeks. Dan called bullshit, but he would never tell Phil that.

Dan wouldn't even mind him dating her if Phil didn't change so drastically overnight. All of a sudden it was all about her and Dan was pushed to the side. Well, kind of. Dan just didn't like sharing Phil with someone. That's it. If Dan was jealous it was just because he wanted to spend time with her best friend. Obviously. Nobody would like that.

Dan got pulled out of his thoughts when  he saw Phil jogging towards to him, clearly out of breath and panting. "How nice of you to come," Dan said snarkily.

Phil rested against the wall that Dan was leaning against, clutching his stomach. "Sorry, I totally forgot," Phil said.

"Oh that makes me feel so better," Dan said bitterly. He was considering just going into the movies without Phil and refusing to sit next to him. He wanted to get revenge on him.

"I said sorry!" Phil defended. "Talia can be very convincing. Makes a guy forget things."

"Like his best friend?" Dan asked, not wanting to hear Phil talk about his girlfriend any more than he already did.

"Apparently," Phil admitted. "Sorry."

"Just don't do it again," Dan was still mad at him but he was getting over it quickly enough. "Shall we go watch this movie?"

"Yeah!" Phil said, following Dan into the movies. "I hear its absolute shit."

Dan laughed, buying his ticket and quickly stepping into the concessions line while waiting for Phil. Phil joined him and they both bought a popcorn and a soda. It was their daily routine to go to the movies every Friday after school. They both loved movies and had no homework on Fridays so it was a perfect evening. Sometimes they would have a sleepover on Fridays too but it just depended on how tired they were.

Dan glanced at his best friend in the darkened theater. He took in how he looked. Phil's eyes were trained on the screen. Dan took in how soft his skin looked and how his hair fell in his eyes. Sure, maybe Dan was a little aggravated that Phil had a girlfriend. Maybe it was because he was jealous. Maybe he knew that too, but maybe he didn't want to think about it.

*

This was the second time in two weeks that Phil had stood him up, and Dan was getting fed up. It was Friday again and this time they were seeing Spiderman again. Dan had bought some candy boxes from the store and had brought them in his messenger bag for them to share. They really only bought popcorn once a month because it was so much more expensive and they were two broke high school boys.

Dan was considering just going home before he caught sight of Phil once again running towards the building. He adopted the most pissed off look he could muster, hoping Phil would pick up in how irritated he truly was.

"I'm so sorry, just lost track of time -" Phil started but Dan cut him off.

"Save it," Dan stalked off into the building, buying his ticket and walking towards the theater, knowing that Phil was following. Dan just walked to their normal seats and sat down. Phil followed, sitting down next to him and clearly regretting being late once again. The pre-trailers were playing and Dan was putting all of his energy into pretending that they were the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

"Dan, really, I'm really sorry I just completely lost track of time," Phil tried to explain again. "We were making out and I clearly didn't keep track of time. But to be fair you can't blame me, if you were making out with somebody you'd lose track of time too. Trust me, it's the best thing -" Dan cut him off again.

"I really don't want to hear about you making out with your girlfriend, Phil," Dan said quietly.

"Well, why not?" He questioned. Dan couldn't really answer Phil's question. Phil had had girlfriends before and had always talked about what they did in great detail. In fact, Dan was the first, and probably only, person to hear about how Phil lost his virginity. It was just different now. Dan shrugged.

"It's just that it's different now," Dan said. Trying to keep as much of the truth hidden as he could. "I just don't want to talk about everything now."

"Why? What's changed? Are you jealous or something?" Phil asked, clearly really trying to figure out what was wrong with Dan. But Dan couldn't blame him for trying to make feel better and talk it out. Dan would do for Phil, he was his best friend after all.  The problem was that Dan was jealous. But not of Phil, of his girlfriend. Dan just nodded and hoped Phil would just drop the topic. He had no such luck.

"Why are you jealous? Just because you've never had a girlfriend doesn't mean anything. You'll find a girl eventually." Phil tried to comfort him. It didn't work.

"I don't want to talk to about it," Dan said, digging in his bag and handing Phil his candy.

Phil didn't protest.

*

"I've come up with a master plan!" Phil announced as he bombarded into Dan's room. Dan was shocked, pulling his bed covers up closer on instinct.

"Why are you here?" Dan asks, rubbing his eyes. Phil had woken him up when he burst into his room.

"I came up with a master plan! Didn't you hear?" Phil responded.

"I did hear, I was just busy sleeping," Dan grumbled. "What is your 'master plan' anyways?"

"I do not appreciate the air quotes around master plan, Daniel Howell. And it's to help you get a girlfriend!" Phil seemed excited about this. Dan wanted to groan.

"I don't want a girlfriend, Phil. I want to go back to sleep," Dan sighed, rolling onto his back and closing his eyes. He felt Phil settle by his thighs and moved his legs so that he would have more room.

"Of course you do, you said so yourself. Your jealous. Not that there is anyone to be, just because you haven't done loads doesn't mean anything. Society puts a lot of pressure onto guys and men to be sexually active and tough and stuff. I've actually been reading up on it, it's called toxic masculinity -"

"Phil, seriously, I'm fine. I just don't want to hear you talk about making out and having sex all the time," Dan interrupted.

"But you said yourself that you were jealous, which can only mean one thing, you want a girlfriend," Phil commented. Dan was getting fed up with Phil's talk. He really didn't want a girlfriend. At all. He thought it was kind of obvious. He had been asked out by loads of girls, why would he turn all of them down if he was straight? Phil knew this too. Dan sat up, ready to tell Phil.

"I'm gay! I don't want a girlfriend!" Dan exclaimed.

"You're not gay, silly," Phil said playfully. "You would've told me. Plus, you wouldn't be jealous of me if you were gay."

"This is me telling you!" Dan said, seriously. "I'm gay. I can assure you. I'll even show you the porn folder on my laptop if you don't believe me."

Phil looked at him. Not in a disgusted or disturbed way, but in a way of disbelief.

"You're being serious?" Phil asked. Dan nodded. "Oh my god."

Dan didn't know what to do. Phil was clearly still processing this. He didn't know how to react to Phil's reaction.

"If you're gay then why are you jealous?" Phil questioned. Dan sighed, looking at his sheets. He didn't want to look at Phil right now. He could either tell the truth and lie and tell him it wasn't true. Which would be lying about the truth, something that Dan tried not to do.

"I wasn't jealous of you, I'm jealous of your girlfriend." Dan confessed.

"Oh," Phil said quietly. Dan quickly shut his eyes and tried to keep himself from crying. He wanted to see as nonchalant about this as he possibly could be. "You can kiss me if you want."

"W-What?" Dan asked, his gaze quickly glancing up to Phil's.

"You can kiss me, I know you probably want to," Phil repeated. Dan didn't want Phil to know how much he really wanted to.

"I couldn't do that," Dan said. "You wouldn't want to and you're just offering because you pity me."

"Not really," Phil replied. "I don't pity you. I've never thought about being with a guy before, I could be bisexual.

"Are you serious?" Dan asked, wondering if this was really happening. Phil nodded.

"Am I kissing you or are you kissing me?" Phil asked. Dan couldn't stutter out a response so Phil just rolled his eyes and leaned forward, placing his lips on his. Dan immediately sighed into the kiss, taking his arms and looping them behind Phil's neck. Phil's lips started to move against his and Dan quickly followed suit. It was electric and Dan never wanted it to end. All too soon, Phil was pulling back. He was now sitting on his knees, face still extremely close to Dan's. Phil's arms came to rest on Dan's waist.

"Hey, you wanna learn how to make out?" Phil asked, eyes stuck on Dan's lips. Dan quickly nodded.

Phil leaned his head back in, lips colliding with Dan's once more. He quickly pushed Dan against the bed, coming to hover above him. Dan sighed again, biting his lip as Phil's mouth moved to his neck.

This was not how he planned for his day to go. Not at all. But he didn't mind.