#and it literally hurts my heart to think about Jack Marshall's story

[myloveliestmistake]

I’m rewatching Broadchurch for the third time I think, and I’ve gotten to Jack Marshall’s storyline which I somehow have managed to forget about every time. I just want to take a minute and write about it because it makes me incredibly sad. To be innocent of something but have everyone assume you guilty without even taking a minute to ask your side of the story is horrible. To have to look friends in the eyes and to beg them “please believe me. You have to believe me.” is so so powerful and affecting but in a heartbreaking way. Jack Marshall for whatever else he may have done in his life (like marrying someone so much younger than him, I don’t doubt from the way his character is written that he truly did love her but it’s still hard because of power dynamics, authority, etc.) did not kill Danny Latimer and it breaks my heart to watch his life destroyed and his heart broken my so many people every time. He came to live a quiet life and build relationships and then in the end that’s not what he gets. He’s innocent but he knows everyone thinks he’s guilty and yet still he tries to face those people who might have reason to hate him most and to suspect him most because they’re desperate for an answer to who killed their son and why, and he tries to make them understand that he didn’t do it. The scene in the end of one of the episodes where the family is doing a press conference and it cuts between scenes of that and audio of that and Jack burning photos of him and these boys he’s mentored and cared for kills me. He burns these images that are precious to him, that remind him of the good times he’s had and the relationships and connections he’s built, and he burns them in an attempt to protect himself. He knows that people have already written him off as guilty and so if they saw these photographs they would just take that as proof that he really is who they think he is. There wouldn’t be a second thought given that perhaps these pictures are just innocent evidence of a natural human bond being formed, a parental and child connection. They would only see what they wanted to see and that would vilify him and prove him guilty of the worst.  The scene where a mob is after him and then Mark goes and talks to him...Jack is forced to reveal intimate and personal information about himself to this person who doesn’t know him that well just to clear his name. He offers this giant loss that has haunted him for years, that tore his family apart and his attempts to repair that and to fill that hole for even just a second by being around children who reminded him of his son, and Mark in that moment understands him. They understand each other and it’s a beautiful moment. But Jack is being pushed out of this place he’s made a quiet life for himself in through no fault of his own because it’s not safe for him. People are so quick to believe that it’s him because the evidence looks convincing from one perspective. It just hurts my heart a lot and I honestly love that character and his storyline. Because that human need to fill a hole left by loss is something I can relate to on so many levels. 

[cupidsbower]

Let me tell you people that I found a new way

Supernatural 13x06, “Tombstone,” 13x07, “War of the Worlds,” and 13x08, “The Scorpion and the Frog.”

Something very interesting is happening this season, relating to Dean’s position in the narrative. Over the course of 13 seasons, it’s been proven over and over that Dean’s hunches tend to be right. He thinks someone’s a rotter, and they are a rotter. He thinks something’s hinky and it is hinky. He does sometimes make mistakes, but generally speaking, when Dean makes a moral pronouncement, he is right about the morality, even if events don’t play out the way he anticipates.

At the start of season 13, Dean made the moral pronouncement that he thought Jack was evil. He may still prove right about this of course, as the season is still young (for me, I know you are all far ahead), but so far it’s looking like he was wrong, and that Jack is more like a blank slate trying to figure out who he can be rather than intrinsically good or evil.

Does this matter? Does Dean’s hunch about Jack count in the same way it counted when Dean knew Ruby was rotten, but tried to give her the benefit of the doubt because Sam asked? When it comes to Jack, is this just Dean being a jackass due to grief and it’s not really what he thinks?

The tension arising from Dean’s distrust of Jack has so far been used to complicate Jack’s arc, but a larger thematic question arises. What does it mean for the story if Dean’s moral compass is wonky? And what does it mean if it’s not?

Okay, cards on the table. I think Dean is wrong about Jack. I’m sure Jack will do a bunch of stupid shit, because that’s how growing up works, but so far he doesn’t seem to be intrinsically evil. So why was Dean so insistent about it? Was it because Cas’s death had him so turned around his instincts were awry? But if that’s the case, you’d expect his instincts to be back to normal with Cas back... but the text is hinting that they’re not.

I enjoyed Tombstone. Cas is back, Dean plays cowboy, and Jack gets a hug, screws up, and runs away from home. All the drama!

Tombstone is a title with a lot of meanings. The primary meaning is the headstone on a grave, but in a text where cremation is the Hunter’s way, whose tombstone is it referring to? Is it literally just talking about the location of the ghoul’s lair? Or is it talking about Jack’s use of his powers that goes horribly wrong? Then there’s the movie reference. The film is the fictionalised (and often romanticised) story of the West... when “cowboys were the law”! And as we know, Dean is all about cowboys, especially the ones in the rogues gallery up on their hotel room wall. Later he prompts Cas to act like he’s in the movie, and Cas quotes Val Kilmer to assure Dean he’s his Huckleberry, which just about makes Dean tear up. All a boy wants is a partner who fondly goes along with his cosplaying fantasies... looking good in a cowboy hat a definite bonus. And Dean gets it good here -- he wears the boots, fixes Cas’s hat, and does a slo-mo power walk to the song Space Cowboy:

Steve Miller Band - Space Cowboy

I told you 'bout living in the U.S. of A Don't you know that I'm a gangster of love Let me tell you people that I found a new way And I'm tired of all this talk about love And the same old story with a new set of words About the good and the bad and the poor And the times keep on changin' So I'm keepin' on top Of every fat cat who walks through my door

I'm a space cowboy Bet you weren't ready for that I'm a space cowboy I'm sure you know where it's at Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (x)

I mean this is hilariously silly, and Dean is having so much fun, but he’s also completely embarrassing with his whole cowboy nerdgasm and forcing Cas to play along, amirite? This is Jensen Ackles showing off his physical comedy chops like the pro he is. But here’s the thing. The song scratches out the minute they find the law, because the old romantic version of the West does not hold true. In this version of Dodge, the law is not a cowboy, it’s a Native American. What’s more, Dean is not really the Space Cowboy either. Surely, surely, Cas is the space cowboy (but is Cas the gangster of love??? And if so, who’s heart did he steal???).

The frisson of not-quite-right continues throughout the rest of the episode. While the ghoul realises there are Hunters after him and tries to “get out of Dodge” -- the line the lawman Marshall Dillon of the TV show Gunsmoke used to say to interlopers of Dodge City -- it’s Jack who is proved to be the interloper in the end, and it’s the Winchester posse who leaves town. Except for Dean, of course, who ends up Hunting someone wearing the face of one of his cowboy faves.

I could go on, but you get the point.

Thematically, this episode is all about undermining Dean’s moral authority. It does it in several ways, many of them funny, but the intent is quite clear. He even straight up says that he was wrong at the end:

JACK: Good? How is that good? I killed someone. What was his name? The guard? Did he have a family? CASTIEL: Jack, don't do this to yourself. JACK: No, did he? DEAN: Yes, he did. SAM: Jack, look, this life, what we do, it's… it's not easy. And we've all done things we regret. JACK: Just don't. You're afraid of me. CASTIEL: Jack, no. JACK: No, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just another monster. DEAN: No, you're not. I thought you were. I did. But… Like Sam said, we've all done bad. We all have blood on our hands. So if you're a monster, we're all monsters. JACK: No, you don't… Every time I try and do something good, people get hurt. I thought I was getting better. I'm not… I don't know what I am, but I know I can't make the world a better place, not like this. I can't even do one good thing. And I know that if I stay, I'm gonna hurt you. All of you. And… I can't. You're all I have. SAM: Jack, listen… JACK: I have to go. CASTIEL: No, Jack. JACK: I'm sorry. (x)

Winchester through and through, that boy. Unintended lesson well and truly learned! Oh, the irony.

(My pet theory is that Jack isn’t actually gone, he’s just invisible and lurking around the Bunker. Don’t tell me if I’m wrong, please. I’m going to enjoy thinking about it until canon bursts my bubble.)

Before watching this ep, when I was talking over 13x05 with my viewing buddy, I said, “I wish monsters recognised Hunters more, and especially the Winchesters. It seems dumb after so many years that so few of them do.” And lo, in all three of these eps, people do recognise Hunters and/or the Winchesters. I’m very pleased by this, although as always it isn’t playing out quite the way I hoped. In the case of our ghoul, even though he quickly recognises that Hunters are after him, and makes plans to escape, he fails because he doesn’t take the threat seriously enough. More importantly, it’s not a Hunter(/cowboy) who kills him, it’s the Law(/Native American).

There were a lot of other things to like about this episode, but the other thing I find most notable in terms of meta is something on the meta-textual level. This episode starts upbeat, after five episodes of unrelieved grieving, with Cas back, and Jack finally seeming to be finding his place. That doesn’t even last one episode before the emotional apple-cart is knocked over again. If I were writing this season, this emotional beat in this place in the story arc would mean I’d be aiming for either a happy or ironic climax, rather than a tragic one. I’m leaning towards ironic, and I think Dean’s moral wonkiness will have a part to play in the ironic twist.

Anyway, that was Tombstone. The next two eps put away the myth-arc for a bit, and move on to monster-of-the-week stories full of mirrors for our protagonists. This season they are very much focused on fathers and sons.

War of the Worlds is an interesting title to choose for this episode. It’s obviously referring to H.G. Wells’ book, one of the first stories about aliens invading the Earth and trying to take it from Humanity -- a colonisation narrative in other words. It’s pretty easy to see that Michael in this case is the alien/coloniser.

By the way, I’m now calling alternaEarth “Mordor” because of that fiery eye in the opening credits, and also it’s much easier to type. Interesting, isn’t it, how the Mordor angels managed to screw up the Apocalypse, the implication being that it’s because God, Lucifer, the Winchesters and Castiel were all absent, and so The End wasn’t just a figment of Zachariah’s imagination, but what really happened. And with Lucifer dead in that world, not around to be the antagonist and keep things in check, Michael has basically gone crazy.

Chuck really did a spectacularly bad job as Father to the angels. They only need a bit of spite to energise them and they flower into the most noxious of weeds, smothering everything else around them during their self-absorbed tantrums. What does Michael even want with ParadiseEarth? Does he know, or does he just want it the way a baby wants a toy, and so he thinks it’s his to take? He’s not wearing a Winchester either (not one we know, anyway), so that also brings us right back around to the question of Dean being the Michael Sword. Methinks it’s a really bad time for Dean’s moral compass to be going wonky.

I found Lucifer interesting for the first time in ages in this ep. If I remember correctly, he was always ambivalent about the idea of the Apocalypse, because he liked Earth and having all those Humans to corrupt. But now he also has a son in the world; in other words, a stake in the continued existence of the world. I’m finding that super interesting. How will it change the choices he makes? I’m not expecting a redemption arc or anything like that, but I do think we’re going to see a different set of choices now Lucifer has someone he’s invested in as family. Can even Lucifer learn some humility once he’s the Father rather than the rebelling son?

To go back to the title of the ep, though, my favourite version of War of the Worlds is actually the musical. I see quite a few thematic similarities between some of the tracks and this season of Supernatural. Forever Autumn for instance, reminds me very strongly of Dean at the start of the season. The Spirit of Man I can easily see as a riff on what could happen if Michael actually gets out of Mordor. It does beg the question though, of what the equivalent of the deadly microbes would be. I have this horrible feeling it might be something like “love”, which has a pretty good track record of corrupting angels, but I can’t see many good ways of getting a shot of it inside of Michael. Maybe Rowena sticks some kind of magical bio-weapon in a vessel (Dean) and then they (Dean) says yes to Michael... because TFW does like to re-use strategies, and they never did get to play that one out with Amara in the end.

Why else bring back Ketch and potentially Rowena, reminding us of the whole secret-power-inside-a-body possibility at the same time? I mean, I know resurrection is a theme this season, and I’m always happy to see Rowena back, but UGH. I’d rather NOT end the season with Michael wearing Dean, and Dean wearing a crown of blackberry thorns, if you get my drift.

In other news, Dean’s moral compass seems to be working again this ep, as he spotted that Ketch was sketchy right from the start, and he picked up on Cas being weird on the phone too.  Could it be a fake-out that pays off later? If his moral compass is still on the fritz after all, it means Ketch was probably saying some truth in this bit of dialogue:

KETCH: I believe you're familiar with the witch Rowena MacLeod? She was captured by the British Men of Letters some years back. I discovered she'd sewn a powerful charm into her body that could bring her back should she be killed. I struck a deal wherein she did the same for me in return for allowing her to escape. SAM: So after we dumped your body, you- KETCH: Good as new. Only problem is, one the device is used, it needs to be recharged. DEAN: Which is why you're hunting for Rowena. Well, sorry. Lucifer burned her up. She's dead. KETCH: Is she? DEAN: Why'd you come here? You could've run. KETCH: Did it ever occur to you, Dean, that I might actually be one of the good guys? DEAN: No. Not even once. KETCH: You and I were soldiers in opposing armies who were at war. DEAN: Well, the thing about war is, one side wins. KETCH: I suppose you're right. (x)

So which bit is the potential truthiness? Is Ketch a good guy? *quietly gags, please nooooooo* Or is Rowena alive *yis pls*. Or... can you have a war in which one side doesn’t win?!?! Morder, I’m looking at you.

My foreshadowing senses are tingling. Let me just float this idea now and get it out there where I can poke it with a stick... maybe all three of these things will be true. For a certain value of true. And that would definitely mean Dean’s radar is still wonky.

This ep we have another character who recognises the Winchesters/Hunters. The witch who got away from Ketch fears them, but rightly considers them the lesser of two evils as long as she’s the victim. I’m liking this theme a lot, and I wonder where they’re going with it? I kind of hope that maybe we’ll get some more references to Carver Edlund’s books if this plot thread unspools for more than a few episodes. I’ve never felt that the villains really used that resource enough, you know? I kind of want Michael to get his hands on them, or maybe Kevin.

Which brings me to the final thing about this episode’s title -- the Orson Welles radio play of Wr of the Worlds. It’s famous for causing a panic when it aired, as people thought it was real. Or did they??? Wikipedia tells me:

The first two-thirds of the 60-minute broadcast were presented as a news bulletin and is often described as having led to outrage and panic by some listeners who had believed the events described in the program were real. However, later critics point out that the supposed panic seems to have been exaggerated by newspapers of the time seeking to discredit radio as a source of information. (x)

Ahhhhh. I did not know that. I’m starting to understand why my story brain is so hung up on the reputation of the Winchesters this season, and why it’s important that other characters have heard of them or of Hunters more generally. Propaganda and misinformation are an important part of any war, and they can play out in unexpected ways. We got a bit of this last season with how woefully wrong the BMoL’s intel was on the Winchesters, and I wanted that to pay off more than it did in the end. But I’m more than happy for it to pay off this season instead, with Michael and his posse. Supernatural’s story-within-the-story could use a good shake-up at this point, and giving us some new insight into the stories people tell about the Winchesters would be a clever way to revisit the Metatron arc without resurrecting him too.

For an ep that focused so much on characters I’m not that fond of (Lucifer, Ketch), I enjoyed it quite a lot for the way it’s opened up the narrative in new directions. It’s actual plot wasn’t that strong, but I was happy to be carried along by the revelations.

The final thing I want to say about this ep is that Dean and I are brain-twins on the Evil Colonel Sanders front -- it’s a perfect name for him.

I like heists if they do something fun, so I found the plot of The Scorpion and the Frog episode enjoyable enough. The way Sam and Dean disarmed the booby-trap made me laugh out loud!  Zoooooooom, zwot, thwop-thwop-thwop. Classic.

As this isn’t a myth-arc ep, the most interesting meta stuff arises from the title and theme. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the parable of The Scorpion and the Frog, so I won’t repeat it here, except for the axiom it ends with: “When the frog asks the scorpion why [it stung him], the scorpion replies that it was in its nature to do so” (x).

This title pretty directly evokes the show’s current major theme -- nature vs nurture -- and this season’s variation on it -- who’s your daddy?

As you’d expect at this point in the season, the ep raises a lot of questions about the theme: Do people really have an essential nature, or can they change their spots? Who in the episode is the scorpion and who is the frog? Is the scorpion the demon who can’t help but lie and use people? Is it the father who can’t help but try and save his son, and then turns bitter when he fails? Is it the Hunters who can’t help but hunt, even when they don’t intend to? Is it the victim who takes her shot at ending her suffering when offered the means? I could ask a similar set of questions about who is the frog.

Not to mention:

What qualities make for a good father?

Can somone overcome their (or their father’s) nature?

How do stories about the Winchesters affect they way people interact with them?

Hunters gotta hunt?

Can a frog be a scorpion in disguse? And if so, is that how they’ll sting Michael?

Is Dean’s moral compass wonky or not?

The more I think about all these questions, the less sure I get. Must be getting close to the middle of the season. :)

Barthamus the Crossroads Demon is another character who has heard of the Winchesters, and thinks he knows everything he needs to about them in order to get to the other side of the river on their backs.

Much as Evil Colonel Sanders is Lucifer!lite, Bart is Crowley!lite. He saw how Crowley worked with the Winchesters, and decided to take a leaf out of his book, but doesn’t understand the larger consequences of that choice. So far Crowley is the only antagonist who has ever realised that the Winchesters are always more dangerous than their enemies think -- they have taken down Gods and monsters, and even Death cannot stop them for long. It was almost inevitable that they would hunt Bart, no matter what was at stake (does that make them the scorpion?). Add in Smash, an actual victim, who Dean uses his supernatural bonding skills on, and that outcome went to a 100% certainty. This dilemma is prefigured early in the episode:

DEAN: You know, this could be a trap. I mean he could work for Asmodeus. SAM: Yeah, but what if he's telling the truth? DEAN: You know, after Crowley, I told myself, no more demons. SAM: Dean, we don't even know what this guy's deal is. DEAN: Yeah, we do. He's a freakin' demon. SAM: Yeah, but you said it yourself, we need a miracle. And maybe this is it. DEAN: You know what "miracles" are called from demons? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not "miracles". SAM: How about this? Let's hear the guy out. DEAN: All right, and after that, we kill him.

They enter the Smile Diner.

Did anyone else hear the name of this diner and think of Hamlet and the whole, “one may smile, and smile, and be a villain” speech? It really made me think of Crowley too -- if you go read the speech, you’ll see what I mean: http://nfs.sparknotes.com/hamlet/page_66.html.

BARTHAMUS: The famous Winchesters. DEAN: Some random demon. BARTHAMUS: Barthamus. Bart's fine. Please, sit. I ordered cherry pie. DEAN: Well, Bart, don't know what you've heard about us, but… BARTHAMUS: Everything. I've been following your careers a long time. You're a real pain in the pitchfork. And the halo. Natural disrupters. We have that in common, you and I. DEAN: Mm. Yeah, we're twinsies. (x)

Dean was a much better demon than this, and Dean was basically a shitty demon. Dean’s moral compass seems to be working perfectly here, though: some random demon, indeed.

Except... there’s the way the episode ends.

DEAN: You okay? SAM: Yeah, not really. Not exactly the best day, you know? DEAN: Well, it's not the worst. We did save somebody. That felt good. SAM: Yeah. Yeah, it did. But… [Sighs] back to square one with Jack. DEAN: We'll figure something else out. And if that doesn't work, then we'll move on to next, and then whatever's after that. We just keep working, 'cause it's what we do. SAM: It feels really good to hear you talk like that again. DEAN: I'll drink to that.

Sam and Dean clink their beer bottles and take a drink. (x)

So is Dean right here, too?

“It’s what we do,” Dean says about Hunting, as though he and Sam are only and entirely defined by Hunting, and that they do have an essential nature that can’t be changed, despite Dean’s recent bout of feelings.

If that’s really true, it’s an enormous problem, both for themselves and for Jack. Toxic masculinity is part of what they always do. Abusive fathers, the MoL’s sexism, the Angel breeding program, Mary/Dean making a deal, John/Sam sacrificing themselves...

If a person’s nature can’t ever be changed, all of these patterns are what the Winchesters are made up of and will always remain. That isn’t a very hopeful picture, so I kind of hope Dean’s wrong about he and Sam being nothing but their work.

Can people change?  Can they make different choices? Will the Winchesters make the same mistakes all over again at the end of the season -- will they sting the frog and doom themselves? Or will they try out new and better mistakes, and make it safely to the other side of the river along with the frog?

I guess we’ll find out soon enough. I’m hoping for something new, but I gotta say, I’m starting to think that Castiel and Jack are the frogs.

Previously:

I never opened myself this way (13x01 and 13x02)

You say you've only got one life to live (13x03, 13x04, 13x05)          

[puckish-saint]

Lechuza Renegade

Reader Insert Pacific Rim AU Part 2 Part 1 here

The kaiju codenamed Rift emerges while Jack and Gabriel give a press conference. They grin and bear the questions and the jabs they take at each other, looking to the world like two good friends teasing each other.

Below the table Gabriel’s hands are curled into fists.

An assistant comes up on stage, whispers into Jack’s ear. Gabriel learns from the shift in his expression there’s been a signal. They cut the questions short, Jack smiles and makes a lighthearted joke and while the collective attendants swoon they get out and back to the Anchorage Shatterdome.

Helix Paragon waits for them ready to deploy. All she misses are her pilots who gear up in silence, no longer exchanging friendly banter or assurances of success. They stopped that kind of thing years ago.

“Helix Paragon ready to deploy.” the AI announces as their suits connect to the cockpit. They drop down onto the Jaeger proper, stumble at the impact.

“Initiating neural handshake in Twenty  … Nineteen ... “

Gabriel’s mind is on the mission, going through the briefing they’ve been given on their way here. It’s a category two, small but fast and it has almost reached land. The residents can’t be evacuated in time. They all rely on Helix Paragon to save the day.

“We’re watching over you.” Jack says to the cockpit camera, knowing the footage is being transmitted all across the world. They’re celebrities, Jack especially so. He can barely take a shit without some tabloid writing about it. Something twists in Gabriel. He refuses to call jealousy.

“Eyes on the price, golden boy.” he says and steels himself for the drift. It always brings up things he’d rather forget. His and Jack’s bond was forged in blood, the strongest kind there is. Or was, once upon a time. These days it’s like drifting with a stranger.

“Neural handshake in five .... four ... “ Jack frowns at him but gives the camera a last wave before focusing on the mission.

“Three … two … one …” Something is wrong. The drift comes into view, memories rush past him but it’s wrong, he feels like he’s watching them from afar, he’s not in the drift, he can’t feel Jack like he used to. He’s alone.

It ends as quickly as it started, throws his mind back into his own body. They’re both reeling.

“Neural handshake: failed. Would you like to try again?”

“What’s wrong?” Jack says, distressed although he doesn’t show it. Gabriel runs a diagnostic on their system. All readings come back green.

“Reinitialising neural drift. Three … two … one.” Again the pull of the drift, then a sensation like crashing on the water’s surface, unable to sink beneath. “Neural handshake: failed.” The guys in communications panic. Jack barks at them to figure out what keeps them from drifting, no longer the composed and friendly boy next door. A meek voice calls over the comm, audible to Jack, Gabriel and every single person who’s watching on TV.

“The systems are functioning. You … you’re not drift compatible.”

A year and a half later the effects are still felt wherever he goes. Previously people didn’t think it possible to stop being drift compatible. It was supposed to be a lifetime deal, as sure and set in stone as someone’s eye colour or the size of their hands. The footage went around the world, dissected, analysed, discussed. Parodied, more than once. They both need new co-pilots, are grounded until they find a new partner. Gabriel doesn’t know if he wants one. Things with Jack had been bad long before the incident. They’ve grown apart, argued more than worked together. When in the beginning they spent every waking second together, in the end they mostly avoided each other. It’s a bitter aftertaste to a friendship given shape in a seven hundred feet robot. A robot they’re fighting over like children.

“People associate Helix Paragon with me. She and I are symbols of hope.” Gabriel bristles, has to stop himself from punching Jack out. He reigns in his temper, if barely.

“And what am I a symbol of in your little story?” He spits the words and then spits literally at Jack’s feet, who recoils like he punched him after all. He collects himself quickly, gives as well as he takes.

“Failure. Your attitude that prevented us from drifting. You’re stubborn, antagonistic and that cost a dozen people their lives. If Pinnacle Light hadn’t intervened in time ... “ “Blame it on me, golden boy, like you do everything else. Everytime things went wrong in that cockpit you found some way to heap it on me. Now it’s my attitude? I’ll give you a fucking attitude-” “Reyes. Morrison.” They snap to attention, muscle memory overriding the wrath boiling hot underneath their skin. Only now Gabriel realises how close he and Jack are. They subconsciously moved towards each other during the argument, posturing and threatening without words. Only the Marshal’s arrival prevents fists from flying.

“I realise this feels like a custody battle in the worst sense but please try not to go complete Judge Judy, will you? You’re still rangers and are expected to act with the appropriate conduct.” “Yes, sir.” Jack says, ever the teacher’s pet. Gabriel grunts out the same sentiment less enthusiastically. The Marshal regards them both with a critical eye.

“Currently neither of you are ready to pilot Helix Paragon. You need a partner and I’d prefer you get one fast. Whoever is the first to show up with a drift compatible co-pilot gets Helix Paragon. End of story.”

“Yes, sir.” they both say, and eye each other. This has just become a competition. And Gabriel is as sore a loser as Jack is a winner.

Jack reserves twenty hours of drift time the same day. There is no way he already has a new list of candidates, but the next day he shows up with a dozen of his friends and burns through every single one trying to find someone compatible by pure chance. Everytime Gabriel walks past him he has that smug little smile on his face like he can’t wait to rub his victory in his face. Everytime Gabriel’s resolve hardens. Jack won’t get Helix Paragon if it kills him.

He’s more selective in the people he asks to drift with him. Jack may be fine jumping into the cockpit with any idiot but he’d prefer to have someone skilled and capable at his side. He refuses to take anyone lower than in the top ten percent of simulation scores but that gets him a dangerously low yield. Most of the potential rangers already have a partner. Those that don’t …

“Look, Gabe, you’re a great guy, no one says you’re not. It’s just ... ” His heart sinks into his stomach as this rookie squirms and shifts and winds around the explanation he’s gotten six times today. People think he’s an asshole. They don’t want to drift with him.

“Whatever.” he says, waves the rookie away and turns on his heel. Jack’s cruel smile burns into the back of his neck from the far side of the room.

Days pass before he finally finds someone who is willing to try. At least Jack’s tactic isn��t working out for him as he hoped, he’s going through more candidates than anyone else in the program but there’s not a single one who’s compatible.

But neither are the ones Gabriel drifts with, what precious few there are. Again and again he’s forced to listen to the AI telling him the neural handshake has failed.

“I know.” he grits out, curses the other guy out until he runs, damning him and every idiot who steps into that cockpit with him. Everytime he fails Jack gets one step closer to Helix Paragon.

He brushes the Marshal’s assistant off, storms down the long hallways with an expression that makes people jump out of his way.

As he takes out his wrath on the punching bags in the gym the nagging thought that kept bothering him since the incident surfaces from the general muck of frustration.

Maybe Jack was right. Maybe he’s the problem.

It took an open-hearted, sweet golden boy like him to cancel out Gabriel’s attitude and make them drift. He’s always been the one to start arguments under the guise of not taking shit but the truth he can barely admit to himself is that he’s just impulsive. He jumps to conclusions, gets easily offended, retaliates harder than necessary. He hurts people. He definitely hurt Jack with the things he said and did.

Jack waves excitedly from his lunch table. They’ve known each other for barely a week and already he acts like they’re best buddies.

“I saved you a place, Gabe!”

He ignores him, sits down at the other end of the canteen, just because he can. Jack stands there like an idiot, hand slowly sinking.

“Gabe?”

“You Reyes?”

He looks up, sees a Ranger candidate uniform, the look of someone who’s not familiar with their surroundings and tries not to let it show.

“What do you want?” he asks, steps away from the punching bag to grab his water bottle. While he drinks you introduce yourself and explain why you’re here.

“I’ve been posted here from the Hong Kong Shatterdome. My orders are to report to you to test for drift compatibility.”

He gives you a once-over but there’s not much he can tell from appearances alone. All the other people on base he’s seen fight and train, had their simulator scores at least. You are an unknown. Although there’s more to it.

“Who gave that order?”

“Captain Amari suggested me.”

“Figures.” He had a feeling she’d be involved. Over five thousand miles between them and she still looks out for him.

“Excuse me?” you ask, confused. He sets down the water bottle, eyes the ring. There’s more than one way to test for drift compatibility. “Forget it.” he says and stretches, suddenly feeling a lot more optimistic about his chances. “Let’s hope this isn’t just a waste of my time.”

He steps into the ring and to your credit you follow without a fuss, discarding your uniform jacket and boots before taking up a defensive position.

“Best out of three?” you ask. He attacks without an answer.

Fifteen minutes later half the base has gathered around the ring. Neither you nor Gabriel notice. You exchange blows, dance around each other like it’s a routine you’ve practiced for years. He takes a jab, you deflect, counter-attack, he dodges. Sweat stands on his brow, he’s breathing hard, but you’re not in much better shape. He didn’t keep track of the score but he has a feeling you’re tied.

He moves in for another attack, puts you on the defense until you turn the tables and rain a rapid flurry of blows down on him that almost make him stumble. One of your hits goes too high, your defense weakens, he takes advantage.

It’s exhilarating. He hasn’t felt this way since the early days, understanding his opponent on a level that can’t be described, only experienced. You’re drift compatible, he knows it, you know it. Your audience knows it. You keep sparring just because, for the joy of having found someone at your level.

It’s that decision that costs him his victory.

“What do you mean he’s found someone?”

“What part don’t you understand, Reyes?” The Marshal sounds tired of a discussion that technically hasn’t taken place yet. He gestures towards the cockpit of Helix Paragon, currently occupied by Jack and his new co-pilot.

“He came in here five minutes ago, we attempted a drift, they’re compatible. They’ll be piloting the Jaeger.”

His shoulders sag. The Marshal hesitates, like he wants to offer a kind word but leaves it be. Gabriel has never been receptive to those.

If he hadn’t waited, Helix Paragon would have been his. He knew you were compatible a minute after you stepped into the ring. He should have gone to the Marshal right away, instead of fooling around like children in a sand box.

You lay a hand on his shoulder and to his surprise the gesture makes him feel better.

“Let’s get out of here.” you say and he doesn’t need telling twice. Jack will be insufferable.

You end up in a diner a mile off the base, sharing fries, milkshakes and disappointment.

“Would have been cool to pilot Helix.” you say, staring wistfully at the TV screen in the corner that shows Helix Paragon’s first drop after eighteen months of inactivity. People are cheering, Jack grins at the camera like he always has, pretending to be sweet and optimistic, but Gabriel sees the mocking glint behind the friendly facade.

“She’s not that good.” he says derisively. “She’s only a Mk 1, upgraded and retrofitted to kingdom come. Her chassis looks nice but on the inside she’s a mess. Half the time spent in maintenance the guys just try keeping all her parts together. She should have decommissioned years ago but people associate her with the program. They sink funding for three Jaegers into her just keeping her running.”

You hum thoughtfully, trace a pattern into the salt spilled on the table.

“So why’d you want to pilot her?”

The question takes him off guard. It’s not one he’s ever asked himself. Now that he watches the Jaeger patrol the coastline of Anchorage, he realises he should have. Ever since Jack and he stepped out of that cockpit the last time he wanted to be her pilot again, wanted to get back in there no matter the cost. But what he said is true. Helix Paragon is outdated, barely holding together. She’s not the most effective in combat, she’s not the fastest or the strongest. Every drop he’s been frustrated with her limitations, her slow reaction time, her lack of power. Compared to the Mark 3’s she’s little more than an oversized action figure.

“I guess,” he says and shrugs, looks at his milkshake instead of you when he comes to the realisation why he wanted her so bad. “I just didn’t want Jack to win.”

It’s a nasty thing to learn about oneself, his entire ambition based on pettiness. It proves Jack’s opinion of him, proves the others reluctance to drift with him. He’s a dick.

“You’re a dick.” You grin, hold up your hands in defense when his eyes shoot up. “Just sayin’, dude, you kind of are.”

Instead of arguing he huffs, shakes his head.

“You and I are drift compatible, what does that say about you?”

“That I like dick?” you suggest and he laughs loud enough to make half the diner turn and stare.

He hasn’t laughed like that in a long time and it’s enough to distract him from what’s happening on TV. It takes you, shaking his shoulder to make him aware. You and the rest of the diner stare at the live broadcast of Helix Paragon’s patrol. A patrol that just ended. She’s dead in the water.

“What the hell happened?” Gabriel demands, running to catch up with the medics pushing Jack and his co-pilot towards the clinic. The latter is out cold. The former -

“I have a nosebleed, for god’s sake, I can walk there myself.”

“Protocol, Morrison.” the EMT reminds him. Jack rolls his eyes, Gabriel catches himself doing the same. “What happened?” he asks again. Jack answers, sheepish like a boy taken in front of the class to be scolded.

“Connection became unstable. I was alone out there for a split second before I could cancel the drift. They’re towing Helix back to the dome right now. Something messed with the drift.”

“Maybe it had something to do with the huge bag of heroin we found in your partner’s bags.”

Dr Angela Ziegler welcomes her two patients with a frown scary enough to make even Gabriel wince.

“Your ‘friend’, god knows where you picked him up, brought hard drugs into the drift. Do you have any idea what could have happened, the consequences your recklessness might have?”

She directs her team to take care of Jack’s co-pilot and turns the full focus of her wrath against Jack. Despite himself, Gabriel feels sorry for him.

“I just thought … I knew he might not remember drifting, but I didn’t think-” “That’s right, you didn’t think. This stunt could have fried both your brains. You’re damn lucky you got out in time. Prepare for a full physical and pray this didn’t cause any permanent damage.”

She stalks out of the room, leaving Jack, Gabriel and you alone. Jack sighs, runs his hands through his hair and tugs at it briefly before letting go. You noticed Gabriel doing the same and wonder who picked up the habit from whom.

“Guess you won after all.” he says, trying his hand at a smile and failing horribly. It comes out as a grimace and he drops it quickly.

Gabriel doesn’t answer. He stares into nothing, acknowledging neither you nor Jack. Helix Paragon is in his grasp. In a few minutes the Marshal will come in and declare him and you her pilots. He won. Jack fucked up and it’s all on him, there’s no way he can blame Gabriel this time, he won, he has all the power and …

… and Jack sits on the gurney just like he did every day in the mess hall when Gabriel stalked past him without a word of acknowledgement. He makes the same puppy eyes he made everytime Gabriel told him he wouldn’t join him and his whitebread friends for movie night for all the money in the world. He wears the face of a beaten man.

When the Marshal comes in for a debriefing and dressing down, Gabriel tells him in few words they couldn’t pay him to set foot in that ancient bucket of bolts again. He’ll expect his own Jaeger, a proper Mk 3.

“Jack can wrestle with Helix for all I care.”

He leaves before they can ruin the moment.

“Smug bastard.” you say fondly, trailing behind.

Lechuza Renegade deploys for the first time seven months later, an apocalypse on legs, destruction given form, carnage in eight hundred feet of awesomeness.

Her pilots love her like their own child.