#and it’s awesome it’s so cool that they made the lesbian princess and her knight canon with so much casualness

[narutos-sloppy-pussy]

Hey guys, can I be honest? I don’t much care for the lesbians from Willow (2022)

[monkey-network]

Two Cent Riffs: My Little Pony Movie, BAYBEE

#BackAtItAgain #TSPOILERS #PonyCinemassacre

Julien: Why is it “The Movie”? It can just be “My Little Pony”. We all should know this version and the superior version that was the 80s. Roy: Excuse me? Julien: Hey, the Smooze song made that movie for me.

Roy: Man, I’ll never stop liking stain glass windows. Julien: Hold up. Twilight has wings? ...Okay, I have missed a lot apparently. Roy: Yeah, but it’s nothing to worry............. Julien: I can sense a pause. What’s up? Roy: Oh, I’m just getting flashbacks....of people bitching online [shudders]

Julien: AH YES, MOVE the sun, and MOVE it back. Roy: Doesn’t seem like a big deal for this celebration. We’re just depriving people from some possibly needed sunlight and fucking with the tides to sooth the feng shui of it. Julien: Can I call the “Pony Privilege” card?

Julien: Huh, I forgot Applejack existed. Roy: She’s a main character, bruh. Julien: Yeah, it the background. Am I right lads, or am I right lads? Dom: “You’re all right, lad.” Julien: Cheers lad.

Roy: Guess we know which couple’s getting the focus this time. Julien: Do we really have to ship right now? Roy: It’s been 7 years, dude. Fans practically learned about “shipping” thanks to this show. Julien: Hmm...that sounds pitiful, but I’ve wanted Princess Bubblegum to melt on Marceline since the beginning so what can I say?

Julien: Looks like Pinkie had her climax.

Roy: Okay, I’m all for Sia pony here (does have a lovely voice), but are there any rapper ponies? Julien: They’re an underground niche of pony musicians after 2Pon and Biggie bit the bullet. Roy: What about DJ Pon-3? Julien: Dub is not rap, brother.

Roy: Bowser’s back?! Julien: And we’re only what...12 minutes in? That’s an academy record. Shit, this movie’ll be over in a blink.

Julien: Okay, I’m liking this new villain here. Design wise, very coordinated. Color scheme is on point. Roy: I just wonder how she’ll be forgiven. Julien: Come on, man. Villains aren’t always meant to be redeemed. Roy: Ye, you need watch the rest of the show.

Roy: Oh no, all the other 3D piloted ships are slowly coming this way. Julien: Yeah, Futurama’s done better.

Julien: Oh shit, that is a fucking sweep down and over Pele kick. Roy: She would be great in WWE.

Julien: Well there goes two of the most powerful ponies in this series. Roy: Well hold on. Maybe Celestia, and Luna are only powerful in the fields or cutie marks they’re given. Like yeah, they’re powerful, but only in raising the sun and moon and whatever Cadence does. So really, they probably couldn’t beat Tempest’s rock spells as much as any powerful unicorn could have... Julien: So, they were useless to begin with? Roy: Kinda, yeah.

Roy: Hey, it’s Crissy. Julien: Wha? I thought her named was Derpy. Why Crissy? Roy: Oh no, Derpy is her name; won’t deny that. But Crissy’s just short for Criss Cross, like her eyes that are the ONE DEFINING TRAIT FOR HER EXISTENCE. It feels like a better name, you know? Julien:...You got me there. That does sound better.

Julien: WELL, after a daring escape via a gigantic waterfall, now they’re on their way to go seek the hippos. Roy: Hippogriffs. Julien: Goddammit man! *sigh* I mean what if they were hippos and I could actually see some awesome hippos in this movie or show?....Fuck, you know?! Hippos are cool. They’re big, strong, and awesome and you jus- *sigh* tch, you’re a bastard. Roy: Jesus man, I’m sorry. Julien: No, I’m sorry but it’s like...I just think hippos are neat is all.

Roy: Oh snap. It’s Ray Donovan. Julien: Okay, this may be a screenshot, but I could already tell Liev Schreiber was tap dancing for his check and was just having a blast doing so; like Jason Mamoa in the Justice League movie.

Julien: How I feel about Michael Pena. Roy: Come on, he’s got his good roles. Julien: Name one that’s memorable. Roy: Well..........................................................

Julien: Woo, that place looks like shit. How come the ponies haven’t help them out, they could spare the resources. Roy: Maybe the town didn’t want any help? Julien: Dude, no. How can just ignore a town that looks broken down, industrial, probably impoverished, smoggy, with some pretty disgusting water surrounding it? HOW can any pony worth their riches just ignore this practically desolate area while continuously celebrating whatever they want? Roy: Let’s....never mind all that.

Roy: Oh no, 1/5 of the fanbase. ⁽ᵂᵉ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ʲᵒᵏᶦⁿᵍ. ᵀʰᶦˢ ˢᶜᵉⁿᵉ ᶜᵒⁿˢᶦˢᵗˢ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᵒʷⁿˢᶠᵒˡᵏ ˡᶦᵗᵉʳᵃˡˡʸ ᶜʳᵒʷᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵒⁿᶦᵉˢ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵘʸ ᵃⁿᵈ/ᵒʳ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗ ᵗʰᵉᵐ. ᴬⁿᵈ ʷʰᶦˡᵉ ʷᵉ ʳᵉˢᵖᵉᶜᵗ ᵃˡˡ ᶜᵒⁿˢᵘᵐᵉʳ ᶠᵃⁿˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉᶦʳ ᵈᵉᵈᶦᶜᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠʳᵃⁿᶜʰᶦˢᵉ, ᵗʰᶦˢ ʲᵒᵏᵉ ᶦˢ ᵃ ᶜᵒⁿˢᶦᵈᵉʳᵃᵇˡᵉ ᶠˡᵃᶜᶜᶦᵈ ᵖᵘⁿᶜʰˡᶦⁿᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᶜʳᶦᵖᵗ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ. ᴺᵒʷ ʰᵉʳᵉ’ˢ ᵃ ᵏᶦᵗᵗᵉⁿ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵘʳᵉ ʷʰᶦˡˢᵗ ʷᵉ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᶦⁿᵘᵉ.⁾

Awwwww, she’s sleepy

Julien: Oh boy, we got attractive felines in this universe. Roy: Eh, furry love aside, I’m more attracted to the comic’s nubian felines

Roy: Hello “Friend like me” Julien: Oye, don’t go pointing out the better things others have done. We’ll be here all week.

Roy: Can I say, “Suggestive?” Julien: Hey, they’re old enough to get some pussy in their life.

Julien: Okay, best character in the movie. Roy: Eh, I’m not convinced.

Roy: Okay, now I am.

Julien: That...is gonna cost ‘em. Roy: Pfft, like they’re gonna pay for it. Julien: I thought the ignorant rich of America were annoying.

Julien: Okay, there’s one thing that’ll never make sense here. So they’re oppressed and they work under the Storm King’s rule and they couldn’t be pirates. But it takes ONE song and they decide “Fuck it. We’re pirates again.” Roy: Have you ever had a song dedicated to helping you get your confidence and groove back?

[Gasp] The lesbian call.

Roy: I love how they play dramatic angry music over the colorful destruction that is their ship.

Julien: Hey, this reminds me of my Steven Universe fanfic. Roy: What? Julien: I dreamed and started a fanfic about Connie being an Arcane Knight that is seeking the original gems that helped salvage the land from the tyrannical Homeworld generals and this was where Lapis resided because she was originally master of nature but went into hiding after she, Peridot (master of metal) and Amethyst (master of animals) had a fallout.

Julien: When she goes so deep, she’s feeling your sunken place

Roy: WE GOT OUT THE MERCH SELLER, BABY! Julien: WE GOT THE MONEYMAKEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Roy: Now to be fair, she was trying to save her civilization while her friends were fucking around. Julien: Yeah, stealing from a civilization that suffered from the same enemies they’re dealing with now. Why didn’t the ponies help the hippogriffs when they clearly could have? This feels racist in a way. Roy: Specist? Julien: Yes. Thank you.

Julien: Okay, I can see where both sides are coming from, you know? However, I have a neutralizer that, possibly(?), erases both sides of this argument. How did it take them (the ponies) this long to try and stop the Storm King’s reign when it started to affect them personally? Where were any of them when the Storm King’s armada took over the Hippogriffs, the pirates, that city? I mean, I wouldn’t worry about this so much if the movie wasn’t so full of its “Friendship Solves All” theme to drive home how this will resolve when it could’ve been resolved LONG AGO! Roy: Jesus dude, it’s not that big a deal here. Julien: NO BRO, it is a big deal. Because they made 4 comics, so much merch, got good players like Sia, Liev, Emily Blunt, etc. all for movie that barely tries to integrate its new universe to a series that’s been around for 7 fucking years!

Ah good, we’re entered the third act.

Roy: Song time. Julien: I’ll allow it. Tempest is honestly the only best thing about this movie. Also, was Emily Blunt in Chicago???

Julien: So...let me get this straight. This girl stood up to a fucking bear and she gets shunned for her suffering? Fuck those kids! Roy: Yeah, I can see where she’d want revenge.

Roy: Okay movie, these Hippogriff designs are good. You live this time. Julien: This time? It’s still getting the slaughter, honey. [revs chainsaw]

Julien: You know Twilight fucked up when Sia pony is staring you down. Roy: With what eyes? Julien: Eye. Roy: I didn’t know you were Scottish.

I won’t question how they could breath in there.

Roy: Aw jeez, she was out for blood today. Julien: He’s getting creamed out there.

Julien: JESUS CHRIST, they brought flames to the party. Seriously, they are burning these beasts alive without fear.

One got consumed in the flames. Like, damn movie.

Roy: Okay, I get that Storm King’s a playful villain, but now he’s just monkeying around. Julien: Liev just wanted his paycheck. He’s doing just as good as everyone.

Roy: Looks like Pinkie Pie is on her a game this time. Julien: When she’s not yelling all her lines. Am I right lads, or am I right lads? Dom: “You’re all right, lad!” Julien: Cheers, lad.

Roy: Betrayal, I never knew could the Storm King could do such a thing. Julien: All I can think of is Twilight yeeting her into the cloud.

Gone with the wind.

Julien: Jesus christ. Roy: Exactly.

Roy: HA. He didn’t expect somebody to jump in the way of the bomb, only to then tag them and infect them with the spell as well. This doesn’t make sense in a way. Julien: Who cares, he’s fucking dead.

That’s right. Dead. On Screen. Full High Definition. YOUR MOVE, “DISNEY”.

“YEAH, WHO WANNA RIDE THE WHITE THUNDER?!”

Roy: So wait, what if Tempest actually got her horn back? Julien: Mass Genocide, everybody in Equestria incinerated; but hey: SPARKLY, COLORFUL EXPLOSIONS RIGHT?!

Julien: And that’s the My Little Pony Movie, ladies and gentlemen. Final thoughts? Roy: Fizzlepop Berrytwist is one of the worst names you could ever give your child. But other than that, I enjoyed what I got, mediocrity and all. Hell, I’m just glad there’s a 2D animated film in American theaters again. Could spell potential for the 16 mil. it earned at the Box Office. 👍👍 Julien: I thought it was alright and could’ve done better for their story beats than taking stuff from other better movies. A fun romp nonetheless.👍👎 Well, what now? Roy: Well, it’s Halloween. Wanna howl at the moon together? Julien: Sure.

[scarfninjawrites]

Scarfninja’s Jukebox/Music Writing Tag

Inspired to do this tag by @shaelinwrites even though I wasn’t tagged (you can see her post here). Of course, this gave me a great excuse to my another playlist on 8tracks again, which you can listen to here. 

The rules are:

1. List lyrics that best describe your characters from your manuscript (doesn’t have to be current)

2. List at least three characters/lyrics

Also, thanks to @sarahkelsiwrites for creating this. I love doing these sorts of posts so I hope to do it some justice. Here we go!

HOPE : “So you can throw me to the wolves/Tomorrow I will come back/Leader of the whole pack" Throne - Bring Me the Horizon 

To be honest, this song could pretty much describe like 90% of my characters. But seeing as Hope literally drags herself through hell, I think it’s best suited for her.

Hope is from the first arc of my first, giant project, which I refer to as The Saga. She’s the first of eight chosen to change the system of magic within their world. A bit of a stoic, you might be shocked to see how protective and loyal she is to her friends and family.

Also she has lightning magic. get it?

LOLA: “And I don't give a damn about my reputation/Never said I wanted to improve my station"  Bad Reputation - Avril Lavigne 

The second heroine of The Saga. Fun fact: Lola is actually the protagonist of the very first book I ever wrote. Also, like her successor, Rouge, I primarily associate her with the color red.

Lola is the closest thing I have to an anti-heroine. She has less gripes with doing morally gray things if it means achieving her goal. Admittedly, her motivation, returning ancient relics to where they belong, is a pretty pure one. But she has no problems with killing or blackmailing people, and she’s certainly not afraid of standing up to people.

She’s been discriminated against for her entire life for being a halfling, so she’s pretty jaded. 

ANDY: "One breath in this moment/We'll stay 'til we're chosen, and through it all/With our eyes wide open/We'll fight 'til we're broken/We rise and fall" Rise & Fall (Krewella Mix) - Adventure Club (feat. Krewella) 

The Saga’s third heroine, and another halfling. She’s also a knight, and has a strong sense of morality and holds her ethics in high regard. Probably the most honorable of the six Saga heroines.

Needless to say, Andy is not afraid of dying in battle if she thinks it will help. She takes her status as a knight and bodyguard super seriously. I can’t talk about her too much without getting into some spoiler territory, unfortunately.

I picked this song for her because I think it has a nice “breathy” element to it that she would really like. That’s probably a weird way of describing it, but it gets at her essence. 

SHARONA: "I'm such a star/Queen boulevard/Blaze through the dark/And never stop, it's how we ride/Comin' up until we die" Break the Rules - Charli XCX 

Sharona, or should I say, Princess Sharona, is The Saga’s fourth heroine and arguably its liveliest.

The best way to think of Sharona is if you take the easy-going nature of Son Goku and mixed it with pre-Angel Cordelia. Also while keeping Goku’s battle lust. Essentially, Sharona will do whatever Sharona wants. And if she’s bored, she will let you know in the bluntest terms possible. (”Yes, Mr. Prime Minister, this meeting is a complete drag so I’m going to leave now.”) If it weren’t for her older brother, Aodh , and his mastery of persuasion there would probably be more threats against her life.

Sharona is also easily distracted. Despite in being search of previously mentioned older brother, every time Sharona arrives in a new town, she immediately goes in search for the strongest person around to challenge them to a fight. And she will not leave town without fighting them.

In a contemporary novel, she would be your local party girl and upcoming Instagram model. Would constantly pose with her tongue sticking out and would drive a car with a detached roof just like music videos. 

CHRISSI: "I crawled over broken glass/To find a place in the sun/Was with me all along" Awesome- Darling Violetta 

The Saga’s fifth heroine has no magic or fighting skill, but she has a pretty unique skill. Chrissi is a “jademaker” or someone who specializes in making magically enchanted charms that help with the most mundane of tasks to enhancing entire armies.

In terms of personality, she’s a bit of a proto-Jenna; both are dreamers, and romantics at heart, are super optimistic about life and take a backseat to the hardcore action. Chrissi is a bit more confident in herself, however, and unlike Jenna, she got her formal schooling from going to an academy rather than a tutor.

Since the fourth and fifth arcs of The Saga have the shortest time gap (only four years), she’s actually introduced during Sharona’s story, and they have cute nicknames for each other - “Cupcake” and “Roni”. (Chrissi was only eleven at the time, cut her a break. Judge Sharona more). Despite all the teasing, Chrissi really looks up to her and wants to do well by her. In fact, Sharona was the one who encouraged Chrissi’s dream of studying and becoming a great jademaker.

CLARISSE/LIESE: "We play with fire/These yellow marks get glowing/Ember on the wire, I'm burning with you on this black tar road/When it feels this good, you don't let go" One Bad Night - Hayley Kiyoko

The last heroine of The Saga is also the youngest at fourteen. Until the night she was attacked by zombie (yes the story really goes there), she had no idea she was a fire mage. She was under the impression that her life would be normal (or rather, as normal as it can get in this world) and being inducted into an underground resistance was not part of that plan.

These lyrics were picked more for an on the nose reason - her fire magic. I think an older Liese would listen to a lot of Hayley Kiyoko and relate to her though, especially this song. More or less, she’s a pretty typical teenager thrust into a situation she’s unprepared for. Like Sharona, she thrives off of parties and people, though she’s got more tact and lacks Roni’s confidence.

Also, Liese is her nickname I chose because of one of my favorite video game characters. 

JENNA FELDBERN: "Waiting for love/Waiting for the same or/Dreaming on the other side/Hoping no matter how far I'll find my way to you/Following a rainbow" Rainbow - Colbie Caillat 

Hardcore romantic lesbian witch. Jenna’s story is probably the most easygoing I’ve ever written, and Elixir’s playlist (not the mini mix) has a lot of Colbie Caillat. This and One Fine Wire describe her best.

Jenna aspires to greatness, and wants to see if she has any secret witch abilities. It’s unlikely, considering the magic gene runs pretty low in her family. It was a major surprise that her mother was born a witch at all. Still, Jenna is determined to evolve her skills.

More to be revealed in my eventual All About My Novel post for Elixir of Heaven.

MELISSA: "My friends ain't gotta worry more/They meet outside the corner store/And walk the pavement, miss the cracks/I’d join them if I could relax" Hang It Up - The Ting Tings 

Melissa is from a short story I wrote called “From the Sidelines”. It’s essentially the story of a mistreated sidekick trying to do the right thing in the face of abuse and incompetence. 

In short, she’s Hermoine - super smart and gets everything done only for the “hero” to get all the credit. It’s only when she has her views challenged by the sidekick of the story’s villain that she has to really consider whether or not she can continue fighting the good fight the same way.

She also has a really cool friend she’d rather be hanging out with most of the time but can’t because of freakin’ Kevin.

ROUGE DELAVILLE: "We fight for the dream/We fight to the death/We fight for control" Fight Like A Girl - Emilie Autumn 

The second heroine associated with the color red. Rouge is from my Little Red Riding Hood reimagining Captain Rouge. Which is basically a retelling with sailing and magic.

She’s pretty similar to Sharona, though a bit more diluted. She’s also no where near as extroverted, and when actually trying to make friends, she struggles a bit. She’s kind of lonely. She’s also the only other noble character I have.

Still, Rouge has no problems speaking her mind, and has dreams of sailing across the oceans to see other countries. She’s definetely a fighter, and can often be seen training with either her gun or in hand-to-hand combat. She gets to sent to her grandmother to work at her shipyard, since her parents can’t tolerate her “bad attitude.” Rouge is also asexual and aromantic and has zero desire of being tied down in a political marriage, something that causes her endless stress. It’s also caused a strain in her relationship with her sister, Bianca.

I’ll be talking a bit more about her in my All About My Novel post for Captain Rouge, so I’ll cap it here.

MARIA VALENTINA: "Made of concrete made of gold/I am young and I am old/Preach the Son's eternity/You tell them lies/You tell them all" I Am Shell, I Am Bone - Gazelle Twin 

I’ve brought up this song a bunch of times, and I mentioned that it was one of the biggest inspirations for The Twilight Court, and specifically one of its main characters. I never revealed what her name was though.

Maria is one of the POVs in part 2 of the book. I can’t really tell you all that much more about her role, so here are some trivia facts instead: she’s also associated with the color red. She’s Italian and Catholic. Maria isn’t her real name. She’s unknowingly asexual and aromantic.

This was fun, so I might do another one soon, except with Disney songs.

Check out my other playlists!

The Twilight Court

Elixir of Heaven

Lola’s Novel (Dark Scarlet)

Also, I tag anyone interested in doing this.