#and it's not like i have been wildly stupid with money before i'm very reasonable and save every cent i can 😭😭😭😭

[beesmygod]

HI EVERYONE: TODAY'S PAGE IS LATE.

im calling my shot too early, but i've spent the last 2 days getting my ass beat by lupus symptoms. im feeling so much better. the page is coming.

BUT in the meanwhile: i wrote this long post about why i left Hiveworks

ill put it under a readmore here on tumblr in its entirety:

intro: dont get your hopes up

look, i’m going to be straight up with you: there’s no messy drama or fallout that caused this. no juicy deets or salacious rumors to slurp down. you know if this were the case, i would have erupted across my various social medias in a frenzied rage with all the delicacy of a bull in a china shop partly for entertainment purposes. instead, this will probably be a boring at best navel gaze where i try to walk the line between pragmatically trying to explain why i left and moral grandstanding. because leaving abruptly looks weird externally, i do actually have to explain why instead of just mysteriously leaving during a period of time where i am being an obnoxious asshole. a combination of disdain for the current cultural zeitgeist and a growing culture of disrespect toward audiences has culminated in my online behavior devolving into the online version of grabbing people saying stupid shit on the street and shaking them very hard. this is something an insane person would do. i know.

the commodification and increasingly blatant commercialization of an art format that could once arguably be compared to other amateur transgressive arts (ex: underground comix, tijuana bibles) is borderline heartbreaking. not to be too dramatic, but i want to start smashing things like im a monster from the rampage arcade game to scare the NIMBYs away before they start building escape rooms where the fetish web comics used to be. there is no place unspoiled by the poison of advertising and sponsorships. except…

 

 

trying to make money in comics is a fool’s errand. go make furry porn commissions if you want to make money doing art! you’re completely out of your mind if you go into the arts to make money. full on detachment from reality if you choose comics. they should commit you if you choose web comics.

 

at hive:

i think people have a wildly different perception regarding the popularity of A Ghost Story so i have approximate data to give people an idea. having culled the SHIT out of my analytics results to remove bot traffic, i think i have relatively accurate results, i get about 1000 unique visitors a month (generously rounding up lol), about half of them are regulars, and 10% of them donate to patreon (this is, imo, an unfathomably large amount lol. shocking and humbling. thank you for your continued support of me in spite of [gestures]).  i feel like a small comic 99% of the time, but man. 1,000 is a big number. i can at least reasonably assume, i’m PRETTY sure, that i was a comparatively small comic in hiveworks.

my monthly payout was roughly $100 a month (and merch sales, if applicable) and their services included web site help, dealing with any merch sales, and site hosting in exchange for running banner ads (which have been a fixture on web comics since the conception of google’s ad program; remember the homestuck bidding wars??). banner ads felt like a small and reasonable compromise to be included in something that felt like a weird pipe dream. in certain circles, a hiveworks invitation was a stamp of quality with prestige; i was very aware of the company i was invited into keep and was initially pretty concerned with how my presence reflected onto them and their work. i was going through some serious brain problems due to a deeply stupid relationship and, as a result, i did my best to keep my head down, stay out of people’s way, and focus on not bringing undue shame to something i was well aware i was completely unsuited for. i had (and frankly, still have) no idea why i was chosen as i had not applied. i cannot stress enough that i was under no delusions as to the quality of my comic lol. my perception was that someone had stuck their neck out to make a special exception for me and i was constantly on the verge of fucking it up and humiliating them.

it was a very off-balance exchange extremely in my favor, and i was aware of this. especially since, being frank and honest here, i was bringing absolutely nothing to the table for them. i don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth, but its a reasonable conclusion that i was more trouble than i was worth, given the infinitesimal worth.

the vast majority of hiveworks readers completely bounced off my comic, which makes perfect sense given the hiveworks audience is i think more interested in the genre they primarily host: fantasy and magical realism. in comparison, “a ghost story” is a slow, slooow burn about federal bureaucracy and being insane with extremely amateur art; i know what i am! and that’s fine! but i became a little resentful (and i tried not to! honest!) after 7 years of perpetually being put on a back burner. it felt like i was being strung along for reasons beyond my comprehension or as the baseline of acceptable awfulness for the website’s quality. someone has to be the “worst”, objectively. it’s not a great feeling to know it, coming to terms with it i think was much healthier than trying to fight it. it was a really good driving force to keep my mind off the nightmare of my life at that point and improve my art a lot.

AGS’ irrelevance was underscored by it being mentioned once over the course of 7 years on official social media networks, upon which a great deal of importance was placed. but frankly, there is nothing worse than dealing with the guy who sucks whining for the spotlight as though they are clueless as to why they are getting the shaft. so i simply achieved enlightenment by getting over it and realizing where i was in the hierarchy and how lucky i was to have so much shit done for me. i was (am, unbelievably. it never gets less wild when i sit down and really think about it) making enough through patreon that the $100 became my monthly fun money while i lived in oregon. it was welcome, but not essential.

a lot of real life, awful things happened that suck and couldn’t be avoided: one of the main points of communication and organization became terribly ill, COVID happened and obliterated shipping and manufacturing rates for apparently all eternity, uhhh the fabric of reality began to unravel lol. it’s been a terrible couple of years. i want to underscore this stuff so that people understand i was not wronged greatly in the grand scheme of things.

there are things that started to chip away at me over time, which made me question if i was a good fit at all. genuinely: the only thing i want to do is to try to live happily within my morals doing what i love to do. even and especially if it means living very broke. that’s the exchange i’m consciously choosing to make when i pick up the pen every day. due to the generosity of the people who support me or have supported me at any time (special shout out to adam, who puts up with this shit for some reason), i am able to do that. i contribute a proportional amount to the household now but tried to be (was??) 50/50 or 25/25/25/25 when i had roommates. i don’t want my one unyielding selfish choice to be anyone else’s burden.

i was told by another artist in hiveworks that my confrontational behavior could be a poor reflection on the brand, which became the tipping point in my choice to leave. to be clear, no one in charge told me this, but even conceptually i was not comfortable representing a company that i felt i was a member of out of obligation or inertia. i didn’t belong there and my presence was an active detriment instead of a tolerated nuisance.

anyway:

when the offer to leave was presented, i didn’t feel regret, or anxiety, or upset at all. i felt a placid sense of relief. i COULD leave. that’s TRUE. i had been kicking it around on my private twitter for a few months going back and forth with myself over what was more important to me: being able to take care of myself financially or doing something about my own hypocrisy that kept me up at night. if my incessant argument is that advertising based commercialization is a societal poison, then i need to put my money where my mouth is. and if i’m consistently annoying, i need to leave as a courtesy to everyone else.

i don’t regret my time with hive at all, but the overarching transformation from a collection of cartoonists to a brand is not where i want to take my art. i can’t bring myself to work even within the proximity of seven seas, a deeply abhorrent company. i am completely disinterested in wasting time or energy worrying about “the algorithm” because i don’t make comics for the computer’s sake and recognize that there’s a finite number of people interested in web comics in the world and an even more finite amount of money to spend on luxuries (because none of us have any money lol). i don’t want to repeat the familiar cycle of lamenting the death of art as we know it every 6 months.

people who are choosing to spend their limited funds supporting me are making a deliberate choice to elevate my presence in their life. i want and need to keep this in mind at all times, because it drives my attitudes toward what i want to choose to focus on. i want to keep my art (“art”) free with additional goodies being as reasonably priced as possible in the hopes that in this way we scratch each other’s back. making money drawing comics is a ridiculous privilege granted to me by people willing to sacrifice their time and money to me; i need to be thinking more about all that i have instead of worrying about what i don’t.

[songofmadness]

Ok, Part 2: the Screaming Continues, I guess. Let’s have a quick look at the plot of NWN1. I’ve never actually played it, mostly because I was a bitty thing with no money when it came out, and now I’m old(ish) and the graphics are just below the level that my eyeballs can safely handle. So what I’ve been able to gather is from wikis and off the cuff mentions in various blogs. It was surprisingly hard to piece together, so if anyone can recommend a decent walkthrough, that’d be lovely. Alright, lets go...

Herein lies: an outsiders retelling of the plot of NWN1, with much rage-fueled flailing and confusion. There is a plague.

((This is Fine, I'm sure the subsequent games will at least take vague note of the fact that even a conservative third of the population suddenly dying is going to massively destabilise the economy and might very well lead to a decades long decline...)) Plague is being deliberately caused by BBEG1 Desther, at the behest of BBEG2, who is acting on behalf of BBEG3 the Evil Lizard Queen Morag.

(How do we know she's evil? It's literally right there in her name, in at least half the sources I tracked down trying to figure out this mess. She's a female lizard with epic teeth in a position of power! Of course she's evil. Also a slaveowner, because gods forbid we have a single instance of the Old Ones not being slavemongering shitweasels. That would be like having a Fantasy Desert Kingdom that isn't equally slavery themed! Can't be having that.) Desther's takedown leads to the remarkably stupid miscarriage of justice that is Fenthick's kneejerk execution. Dude just had shitty taste in friends, that really shouldn't be a hanging offence. But still, that's probably the best example of "medieval justice system" I've come across in any Forgotten Realms. Oh, were you standing adjacent to the guy who offended the Powers That Be? Too bad, good sir, you're dead now. And maybe your entire extended family with you! Fun.

Aribeth goes understandably apeshit due to her boyfriend's unjust execution (isn't the main religion of Neverwinter Tyr? Wut?), ELQ Morag whispers some probably quite reasonable sweet nothings in her ear -- "They killed your man, honey. Come to the darkside, we have cookies bloody vengeance!" -- and Aribeth nopes on out to lead an army of Luskans against Neverwinter.

Except. Why is Luskan now involved?? Other than the obvious reason: It Is Always Loki Luskan.

Long story short (and omitting at least six hours of me howling at my laptop), Luskan invades Neverwinter in 1372 as the grand culmination of NWN1's plot. Because.... reasons. IDFK. Why was Luskan even there? 

More to the point, why did Aribeth automatically seize upon Luskan as the best chance of achieving her vengeance? Because: 

1) she’d been in direct opposition against Luskan forces for ages, surely there had to be some kind of pushback against the Great Champion of Neverwinter suddenly showing up to take command, and 

2) Luskan’s kind of at a massive lowpoint right about then. Or at least they SHOULD BE. They’ve been kicked out of Ruathym (yet again) by the all powerful Lord’s Alliance, and they’re just finishing up a wildly unsuccessful five years trying to invade Mintarn and Orlumber. I don’t even know where that is, but I do know that five years of throwing your men away on nothing doesn’t leave you with much of a fighting force to play with.

Actually, also 3) This is right after Arklem Greeth goes full lich and reassumes control of both the Hosttower and the High Captains. Luskan has had a shit few years decades and now Daddy is home, and angry, and no one is getting away with nonsense right now. Why is Arklem F’ing Greeth handing this super a N g E r Y paladin/blackguard lady an army? Even if he wanted to (for the lulz, perhaps) how does he have YET ANOTHER ARMY to spare?

*deep breath* Ok. Ok, backing away from the Luskans for a minute. Before I actually start screaming. The ongoing nightmare that is Luskan can have it’s own post.

Right, anyway, Luskan invades, is foiled by the magnificent Hero of Neverwinter (very recently the sole graduate of their adventuring class!), Lizard Queen is also vanquished and Aribeth either dies or is later executed by her former friends. Nasher is so hacked off by this entire chain of events that he suppresses all information regarding this fuckery. Nevermind that he’s at least partly to blame - why did the KC get a lawyer despite being accused of mass murder and not Fenthick, who just assumed guilty by association? Excuse me, Tyr? Wut? And then....

World reset, I guess. I just. I have been in or adjacent to the SCA for long enough that even though my focus is very much not combat centred I have learned Much About War. Because that is often all anybody bloody talks about. And because I don't particularly care about combat itself, I generally meander off into "Ok, so there was this battle and this battle and this ten year stalemate in that region... what did that do to trade/the availability of dyestuffs for the next twenty odd years?" Because ultimately I just wanna dye some period accurate wool.

My painfully meandering point here is that the civilizations don't just bounce back after a war. They don't bounce back after a plague either. Especially one as virulent as the Wailing Death was meant to be. Every bit of lore I could scrounge about it keeps saying that "the [majority of the populace of Neverwinter] were dead or dying within a tenday". Wut?

How the hell is the city ever meant to recover from that? How is Neverwinter even functional as a city two years later? Where did all the new citizens come from? Where is the violent economic downturn stemming from the sudden traumatic loss of most of the previous citizens??

And why is Neverwinter accepting Luskan ambassadors TWO YEARS LATER?? Because lets not forget, I got into this mess trying to write a story set in NWN2. WHICH TAKES PLACE JUST TWO YEARS LATER. SOMEHOW.

Further rants about the aftermath of war and/or plague in medieval society to follow…

[resmarted]

dear m*rissa,

your band keeps showing up on my algorithm and begging me to look but i never do. i resist it every time with such diligence and determination to respect that boundary with the purest of intentions. today i gave in and clicked on an interview about your tour van and realized it's been nine years already, can that be right? how wild! that whole era. i am so sorry for the unruly obsession and the dramatic lovesick induced mania i caused back then. i think i like to be heartbroken for sport or something. like something is for sure wrong with me. i loved you so wildly, three books of public letters worth! what a crazy person i have been. it doesn't even feel that long ago. i look at you and can't believe how much time has passed or that was even the same life. we are so old now. i hope you are well. i hope you have someone to love you in all the ways you are meant to be and it's none of my goddamn business but man, you deserve it all. something about seeing you and really allowing myself to look for the first time in so long is very jarring and a little re-traumatizing for reasons other than what happened during that time in general. i almost wish to go back. i felt a naive sense of protection from the people in my life at the time who actually wanted me dead so they could continue living freely off money they never let me know i had. it benefited all of them to make me seem as crazy as possible and they loved how insane i allowed myself to be over you especially. what a whirlwind this stupid little life has been. i recently had an episodic crush over someone who reminds me a little of you but i like to think i nipped it in the bud before it got out of hand. can't afford to fall so freely like that anymore. i guess i never really could. everything is so sad and bland now. you were pink and purple in a grayscale sky. i can't listen to your recent album more than once out of curiosity, to preserve my sanity if nothing more (or what little of it i may have left) but i hear your voice and it does still sound like a home i never had. i wonder if i will ever find one. i hope you are well, or at least better than me. i can't imagine you will ever see this but in case you do, what up, girl? i imagine you young and wild and free forever. you are still the most talented little wunderkind i've ever come across. this feels like a yearbook entry. keep being you. class of 04 foreva.

ps. i thought of you when steve albini died and how he told you to knock it off when doing your signature vocal stylings in the studio (the word for it escapes me at the moment) unless i am misremembering this story? what a strange life this has been. i can't bring myself to look at your ig but i'm assuming there's a tribute post to him somewhere on there by now. good luck and be well.

pps. vibrato? i think it's called vibrato. okay love you bye

[albonium]

it feels like i'm never gonna be able to move out again ahahahaha

[mindthebulletso]

What?! No I'm not !! the only side I am in is that of my way of seeing the world, my conscience, my cynical character and experience. Because I am very selective and I have chosen people to follow. I don’t follow you because you are a Louie but because I consider you a smart girl, so seeing how easily many have fallen into this, imo, manipulation hurts me. For Louis above all else. Because I remember being one of the first in 2018 to speak openly about Sony Sabotage in HS2 favor and I perfectly remember what and how it was answered to me!!

Because I remember Why I looked for the Rads ....and how the world has turned upside down 🤣 Having moved away from Styles for other reasons, having taken a different approach before this perhaps affects my thoughts and reasonings but how can you not understand that you are doing exactly what Sony wants (regardless which Label we will discover has louis now) years of Larries VS Anties hasn't really opened your eyes? How is it possible? Have you ever noticed how many Louies (not larries) always write "team" and never "Sony" Have you ever noticed how full their accounts are with everything Harry does / doesn't do in real time? Twenty-five years of Kardashian (Hello Uncle Irving) did not help to understand StarSistem is based on chatter and not only on good things? They often update before Larries! if you want to know what happens in Harry Styles life follow a Louie. nice no? If you watch MV to "see how shabby it is" and then talk about it on social, however, you contribute to creating curiosity, chatter, comments, quarrels. If you always complain using Harry as a yardstick, you keep Louis in this funnel that L is crushed in one way or another. If you look back and you don't see how much 2015!Louis was tired and only blame Xander for that , thinking that he was happy for singing a bit more because Zayn was gone or for the water fights with Liam it is you who considers him half of a ship!! If you confuse his nostalgia and humility for lack of ambition or trust , you consider him half of a ship. If you love Louis and have decided that Harry is an active part of his sabotage why don't you get to completely ignore him, always, in the most absolute way after having clarified your position? And if you have decided this, how can you accept Niall and Liam, whom you consider his brothers do not take sides with him but rather, as soon as they can, they raise Star!Styles? Have you ever thought about how he can feel seeing that his fandom, while insulting Styles' new life, spends days asking for OneDirection!Louis? And the braces, and the hair, and the beanie, the headband, and the tank top .. he had to admit this is frustrating but nevertheless Louies continue and if you point it out the answer is "Old!Louis receives more likes " 😒

anyway let's go.. “Because I loved Styles anyway and I have a past with him” Ok. Let's start from here then. Azoff and Sony in 2013 begin to seriously plan H solo career. Azoff has a story, a very clear story, but you voluntarily ignored it at that time, only to blame Styles for choosing them (being chosen) now!! Like three silly kids Louis Niall and Liam until 2016 believe in an 18-month hiatus 😂 . Do you really think they are so naive? Seriously? Louis William Tomlinson who at 20 sees a hole in the writing process of the band and turns everything upside down does not understand what is the destiny designated? Among other things, the same for all boyband before 1D and info easily accessible on google But “he was in love "ok. But then you have to admit you start from the starting point that you now strongly reproach Larries. You have to admit you are living in Young & Beautiful Spin Off because instead I see a strong, smart, brilliant man, who for 10 years has been fighting tirelessly for his individuality. I think this passive Louis is the result of the FF you read because you are the first who make everything go around Styles, even before Sony. Someone stuffing your head saying Harry doesn't need Larries anymore. Are you Sure? Because business is brutal and Labels don't exist for your enjoy. They don't invest in you leaving you power. It is quite the opposite. The more you make money, the more you are a puppet. Just check the difference in numbers between H and Justin, Ariana, Selena, Ed, DuaLipa to understand what I mean!

the Direction taken is the right one, it is having a good success - well deserved - but, believe me, not enough to justify the investment made. And do you really think Azoff, manager since the barter still existed, evaluates the point of view of a 25-year-old who even made almost deny the first album? Who no longer took his mommy on holiday when Harries started complaining about her presence? Do you really think these guys signed contracts to their advantage (I'm not talking about money of course)? Do you really think Styles can say in Sony -I don't do this-? Based on what? Do you blame Harry for his ambition but do you really think he has alternatives? Especially in Sony that has no other icons of this generation? Someone make you believe Harry is loved by everyone but have you ever come out of the fandom bubble to read what so many locals write about him? don't you read how much hate he receives? Azoff arrives in 2013, from that moment on did you see his life change for the better? Less work, more attention to his health or did you see him arrive at the end of 2015 without voice? or do you think "better life" is going out with Taylor Swift and Kaya Gerber Because in that case you love the life Louis says he hates 😟 And considering the type of music he produced, do you think his 2021worldtour is to safeguard his voice and health? Really!? And how is it possible if Azoff loves Harry person and not Harry MoneyMachine? Do you really think Harry is so naive that he doesn't know this? Do you often notice how bad it is aging, How dull are his eyes.. Isn't this already an answer? And if you want to say "that's what he deserves" wow do you remember that you don't really know them and that they are only singers / strangers you love? They are not really your son? that you've never been to their room and their songs aren't a gossip magazine?

Same talk about Louis Fam. Louis Tomlinson openly lashes out against Euphoria chatting with his HetStalkerNumberOne creating more promo or against Zayn when he drops GY but is unable to tell his stepfather / sisters to stop using his life like that? Really? Or do you think he did this but Mark ignored that ? Everyone uses him but he, passively again, cannot do anything. Do you really think Louis is this? Why? Look Louies focused on commenting What Harry is doing in istagram? Look how much power they are giving this stupid thing? They put Harry at the center of Louis' life, they considered him Mrs L. Styles weak and closed in the suitcase with the only ambition to jump on his cock. why this daily need to highlight how disappointed you are with the person who has become? Are you more concerned that Harry cheated on Louis or that Harry cheated on you? Because if you think Louis has a new life why you don't go on too? The position is clear, why keep playing the Sony game? How do you think Louis feels when he sees his fandom has absorbed that his pubblic life has been closely linked to his girlfriend for years now? When you read that H's lunch with stringer was cruel and nobody mentions anymore three days later he was paps with El and the dogs? Just because The Sun canceled? What does it matter he had to undergo this, he had to get out of bed, go out and go to the pap (in 2020 only if you are 12 you can think that the paps are not scheduled) You can also think that there is a friendly relationship with E but why you accept that she is also present when a month later they go to GoKart? Why can't only Louis spend The first Christmas without Fizzy and Jay with his sisters? Why can't Louis alone participate in the B.L.M. march? We told ourselves that the cause was more important than the company and it is true. But important for whom? For us or for him that of B.L.M. did speak before everyone when it wasn't “trendy” ? Why doesn't even his fandom fight for his freedom? from everyone?! Why Do you think this imposition is healthy for him? Or do you think he chose this, because if you think this then all JLYMV was a joke for you and it's okay but I ask you, do you really believe that it is no longer hard for him suffer the presence of Eleanor than a Harry Styles SmileyNails ? Are we talking about what's harder for him or for you? Does Louis individual really care about anyone? Because my heart breaks to see how, even if it were reality, his pubblic life is linked to this girl as if she were the star! Everyone has a girlfriend but not even Kilye Jenner was so present in Travis Scott's career, private life. Why don't you rebel against this? Why "thank you Eleonor" ? Why is your selfishness more important than he has to live this actively? Why do you think it is easy for him after 10 years? Whatever your opinion about , Louis has not interacted publicly with Freddy since 2018. Why don't you get angry with Louies who do not care about this and clog social with his pics not respecting Louis' will? Why do you only get angry with a certain part of fandom and not with those who help a small group of people to spread this child's face wildly despite Louis not doing it? Why don't you ask yourself "louis does not do this, it is the case that I do it"? Who is your Louis landmark or the baby's family? Why is Louis never enough? Why don't you see Louis' individual freedom is not seized by Harry Styles but by Sony which is who should protect him from Azoff / Styles? If your answer is "Sony does not believe in him enough" I'm sorry I have news for you, you believe Louis tomlinson is not worth enough .. and while you continue this useless fight between Louies Larries Labels will continue to use Harry, Louis for their bank accounts and only for that laughing at us whatever the real personal situation between the two of which I honestly care zero but, as you can see, in one way or another it is still at the center of our attention and if Larries have the justification "I believe in them" what excuse do you have?

[the-observant-frisbeetarian]

Chapter 1

We’ll Meet Again by George deValier

Winter, late 1943 London, England

.

The Americans were starting to drive Arthur mad. For weeks now his London pub had been full of loud, obnoxious, carousing American servicemen on leave. They yelled, they drank, they fought occasionally, they drank, they flirted with the local girls, and they drank some more. Then they did it all over again. To begin with it was a vaguely interesting break in the same tedious old routine. By the end of the second night, Arthur had had enough.

To be honest, they were not all bad. They generally tried to be well behaved, they poured a lot of money into his pub, and after all, they were allies fighting a common enemy.

Truth be told, they weren't starting to drive Arthur mad at all.

He was.

"Hey, Art, buddy! Another bourbon here!"

Arthur looked up at the grinning blond holding his empty glass over the bar. Everything about the American irritated Arthur. The absurd bomber jacket he lived in. His perpetual grin. The way he never combed his bloody hair. And the arrogance… Arthur had not been the least bit surprised to learn he was a fighter pilot. Thought the whole bloody British Isle owed him their freedom and allegiance. Arthur gritted his teeth and snatched the glass.

"My name is Arthur. And kindly refrain from calling me your buddy." Arthur reached for the bourbon. Ghastly American stuff. He barely went through a bottle a year before the war. Since the Americans turned up, he went through a carton a night.

"All right, sorry Art. Thur." Alfred grinned. He was obviously used to getting his way with that grin… but it bloody well wasn't going to work with Arthur. "Come have a drink with us."

Arthur clenched the bottle a little too strongly as he poured it into the glass. "Thank you, but no. I'm working."

Alfred just laughed at that. "I thought you owned the damn place. Let someone else pour the drinks for a while. Take a load off."

Another irritating thing. That ridiculous accent. Alfred seemed able to stretch every word into seven syllables. Arthur suppressed his irritation, pushed the glass across the bar, and attempted to be polite. He had a reputation as a gentleman to uphold, after all. "Thank you again, but I'm afraid I'm run off my feet with all you soldiers."

"Soldiers?" Alfred gasped loudly and put a hand to his chest in mock outrage. "Why Arthur, you wound me! Don't you know that I'm…"

"The youngest flight leader in all US Army Air Fighter divisions," Arthur finished for him monotonously. "This must be the - twelfth, I believe it is - time you have informed me of the fact."

Alfred just kept grinning as he took a swig of bourbon. "Well, don't you go forgetting it and calling me a soldier. That's an insult to a man, that is."

Arthur shook his head as he glared at the American. The arrogance was unfathomable. "I do apologise," he said sarcastically. "Will you ever forgive me."

Alfred leant fervently across the bar. "Don't be like that Arthur, of course I'll forgive you!" Arthur rolled his eyes, but Alfred did not seem to notice. "Hey, I know, make it up to me by having that drink with us, yeah?"

"I already told you, I'm working." Alfred's face fell just slightly. Arthur felt the tiniest stab of guilt, and could not stop himself adding, "Maybe another time." It was the sixth time this week he had given that answer, but Alfred still brightened at the words.

"Well all right, I'll see you later then! I look forward to having that drink with ya." Alfred winked, picked up his bourbon, and sauntered back to his table.

Arthur let out a deep breath. He turned and placed the bourbon back on the shelf, took a cloth from beneath the bar, and began wiping the bar top vigorously. Arthur had never dealt with something like this before. Customers asked him for drinks, he served them. None of them ever asked him to join them – hell, most of them barely spared a word for him. Yet this American pilot had bothered him every night for a week: coming to the bar for constant refills, chatting inanely, telling stupid jokes and bragging wildly. Arthur could not understand it.

Of course, a tiny, hopeful part of his brain held the smallest suspicion - but no. Arthur had spent too long suppressing that secret part of himself. The reason he had no close friends, the reason his brothers hated him; the reason he cut himself off from society, the reason even his country's armed services refused to accept him. He had learnt from his past mistakes, and knew better than to see his own secret wishes and desires where actually there was nothing. But then, what was it about this bloody Yank? Why did he keep asking Arthur to drink with him? Why did he keep looking over at Arthur behind the bar and waving? Why did he have to grin like that? And why the bloody hell did it affect Arthur so much when he did?

Arthur risked a glance over at the pilot's table. He always sat at the same one, by the second front window, with that other fellow who looked so much like him that Arthur wondered if they were brothers. Sure enough, Alfred was looking right at him. And grinning. Arthur quickly looked down. This was preposterous. He ran a hand over his heated forehead and felt it burning red. Throwing the cloth down, Arthur stormed over to the other side of the busy pub. Surely there must be some empty glasses to pick up.

An elderly regular nodded to him as he passed. "How are you dealing with all these bleedin' Yanks, Arthur?"

Arthur gave a short laugh then backed into a table to avoid a drunk soldier stumbling past. "It's keeping me on my feet, I can tell you that much."

The old man threw the soldier a dirty look. "Ah well, chin up, eh? Don't even know why we need them here, it's not as though our boys can't take on the Jerry's without them!"

"Rather," agreed Arthur, nodding acknowledgment to a group of loud Americans signalling for service.

"Ah well my lad, with the way things are shaping up on the continent it won't be long before they're out of your hair, I imagine."

"I can hardly wait." Why did Arthur not even know if he meant it? His eyes flashed fleetingly towards Alfred's table before he quickly turned to serve the table of rowdy soldiers.

A few hours later, with the place thankfully somewhat quieter, Arthur finally had a chance to wipe down the vacant tables and collect empty glasses. He did have a few staff, but they only worked occasionally, and Arthur barely even knew their names. He preferred to do most of the work here himself. This was his pub, after all. The Emerald Lion. It wasn't much, but it was his entire life; it was everything he knew. The long bar that ran across the room, the old wooden tables and chairs that had never been replaced. The huge fireplace and its ornate mantelpiece. The ancient brick walls; the creaky narrow staircases that led down to the cold, dark cellar and up to his cosy, familiar living area. Arthur knew every part of this place like his own body. It had always been a family business, but Arthur was the last family member left here now. He felt it his duty to do as much as possible on his own.

Arthur headed back to the bar, glancing around the room as he went. Most of the patrons left were locals. The more intoxicated Americans had already been dragged back to base, but a few remained to have a few quiet drinks before close. Including Alfred. Arthur tried to avoid looking his way, but could not ignore the loud voice that called to him as he walked past the American's table.

"Arthur, buddy, how about you finally come have that drink you promised?"

"I promised no such…" Arthur trailed off, faced with Alfred's pleading expression. He sighed. This could not be a good idea… "Very well then. One moment." Arthur went to the bar, deposited the empty glasses in the sink, and poured himself a small glass of rum. After all, the place was fairly quiet. Maybe this would finally stop Alfred's constant requests, as well as put Arthur's own curiosities to rest. Alfred was obviously just a friendly young guy who treated everyone like this.

Arthur sat down at the table, taking the seat closest to the bar. He half hoped for a patron to approach it for a drink, giving him an excuse to leave. Much to his annoyance, he was far too nervous sitting this close to Alfred.

"I knew I'd convince you eventually," said Alfred cheerfully.

Arthur glared at him. "You don't give up, do you?"

The man by Alfred's side chuckled softly. "You've no idea," he said quietly.

Alfred slapped the man on the shoulder and grinned at Arthur. "Arthur, this is Lieutenant Matthew Williams."

Arthur nodded at Matthew. He really did look remarkably like Alfred. "Pleased to meet you."

"Evening. Lovely pub you have here." Matthew was so quiet Arthur could barely hear him.

"Thank you. Are you a pilot as well, Lieutenant?" Arthur figured that since he was sitting here, he may as well be polite. And besides, it was probably safer to make conversation with Matthew than Alfred.

"Matt's my wingman!" Alfred interrupted loudly. "That means he gets to watch while I do all the heroic stuff."

"No, it means I cover your butt from attack and try to make sure you don't do anything stupid. Like get yourself killed."

"Matthew, when have I ever done anything stupid?"

Matthew just blinked at Alfred silently for a moment before Arthur cut in. "Um, so sorry to be rude, but you two aren't…"

"Related?" Alfred shook his head, laughing. "Nah. Pure coincidence. Confuses the hell out of some of the superiors, I tell ya what. Finally made Matt grow his hair so they can tell us apart."

Matthew rolled his eyes. "It doesn't help that they never believe me when I tell them who I am. 'Matthew Williams' I say and it's always, 'Who?' Damned frustrating, eh?"

Alfred leant over and whispered to Arthur. "Never mind him, he's Canadian, eh?" Arthur leant away slightly when he felt the warm breath on his ear.

"I heard that," said Matthew.

"You're Canadian?" asked Arthur, taking a fortifying gulp of rum and forcing himself to focus on Matthew. Alfred was not making it easy.

Matthew started to reply but Alfred cut him off. "Oh, not anymore, he joined the good guys long ago. No longer a subject of the British Empire, eh, Matt?" Arthur narrowed his eyes slightly and Alfred quickly added, "Not, of course, that there's anything wrong with that."

"Just because I am currently flying in your Air Force does not mean that I am an American, Alfred," said Matthew with a frown. "I still consider myself Canadian."

Alfred raised his hands placatingly. "Hey, hey, as do we all." He rolled his eyes at Arthur. "He never lets us forget it. Lives on maple syrup, carries little polar bears around…"

Arthur furrowed his brow. "Carries polar bears?"

"Ah yes, this here…" Matthew unpinned a tiny fluffy white bear from one of his lapels. "…is Kumabaro. He's my lucky mascot."

"I thought his name was Kumajiro?" asked Alfred.

Matthew shrugged. "Something like that. Anyway, we all have one… a lucky charm that is. Except for Alfred."

"Oh?" Arthur could not help being curious. "Why don't you have one?"

"Well, it has to be something special. And nothing's ever turned up. But hey, never needed one before. I'm alive, ain't I?" Alfred raised his glass and drained it.

"I'll drink to that," said Matthew, draining his also. Arthur thought he had better follow suit.

"Now we're dry here… hey, barkeep!" Alfred shouted before turning to Arthur. "Oh wait…" He laughed raucously. Arthur was still not used to that laugh. It was the most boisterous, unique laugh he had ever heard. Usually half the pub turned and looked whenever Alfred let loose with it.

"Amusing," said Arthur, unsmiling. "Very well then, I suppose I'd better bring the bottle."

An hour later and Arthur had consumed far more alcohol than was wise while he was still working. At least the pub had quieted down even further, with only a handful of Americans still remaining. Matthew had left twenty minutes earlier - something about needing to oil an engine, Arthur couldn't remember - after Alfred spent a couple of minutes winking at him. What was with all this winking? It must be an American thing.

It felt a little odd to be sitting with the man who had been driving him to distraction for a week now. Sure, Alfred was arrogant and loud and, well, American, but he wasn't all that bad, Arthur supposed. Just very confident and perhaps a bit naive. But still rather irritating.

"And we're doing this for justice, you know, I wouldn't be here otherwise. We're fighting for freedom here, for what's right. We can't just let the powers of evil and tyranny take over while we stand willing and able to prevent it." Alfred gestured strongly as he continued his oration. He had been going solidly for ten minutes now. "It's just…" He paused to search for an adjective. "…un-American."

"Right, right. And where were you Americans two years ago?" Arthur muttered around his glass as he took a sip.

"Huh?"

Arthur waved his hand dismissively. Alfred seemed to know nothing about the war that had been raging without the Americans for years now. "Nothing." He grasped for a way to change the subject. "How long have you been flying?"

Alfred's face lit up immediately. "I used to go up with my dad as a kid. He was a delivery pilot you know, flew all over the country. Flew a De Havilland DH4, beautiful old plane. I still remember the feeling I got when I first went up with him." Alfred's face was vibrant as he spoke animatedly. "It was, well, really exciting, you know? Like that feeling you get when something is really intense and sort of terrifying and breathtaking and fantastic and you're a little nervous but you never want it to end. Know what I mean?"

Arthur didn't, but he couldn't help but be captivated by the smile on Alfred's face and the look of joy in his bright, blue eyes. "Sounds awfully nerve-racking to me, I'm afraid."

Alfred laughed softly and looked into his drink. "Ah, it's hard to explain. But it's my life. Signed up for the Air Force as soon as I turned eighteen, and before you know it, here I am in England, fighting in a war! Life can be damned odd sometimes."

"Certainly…" Arthur trailed off uncertainly. "Wait. How old are you?"

"Nineteen. Why, how old are you?"

"I… er…" Arthur hadn't realised Alfred was so young. Suddenly he felt like an old man. "Never mind."

"Oh no, you have to tell me now!" said Alfred, putting his glass down and leaning in eagerly. "Are you really old?"

"No!" said Arthur indignantly. "I'm just no longer a teenager."

"That's okay, I like older men." Alfred did that bloody winking thing.

Arthur stared blankly, shocked. Surely he couldn't mean… Arthur forced himself to respond. "I'm twenty-three if you must know. Though it is awfully impolite to ask."

Alfred laughed, high and cheerful and raucous as ever. "Hey, you asked me first, Arthur."

Bollocks. So he had. "Well. Either way. Really, nineteen?"

Alfred nodded cheerfully.

"Right. Fine. Jolly good." Arthur finished his glass, embarrassed. He barely noticed Alfred fill it up, looking up at Arthur with sparkling eyes and a tiny smile.

"So Arthur, you got a girlfriend? A wife hanging round here somewhere?"

"What?" Arthur was quickly losing track of the conversation. "No."

Alfred winked. "Didn't think so."

Arthur gasped indignantly, then felt a small flush of fear. Could he have been too friendly? Could he have been too obvious? Could Alfred know… "Just what the hell is that…"

"Here, let me show you a picture of my girl," interrupted Alfred.

Arthur felt his fear and anger dissipate as his heart sank. He was surprised at the intensity of the feeling. He told himself not to be ridiculous. Of course Alfred wasn't, well… like him. He silently upbraided himself for even daring to think it. Of course Alfred had a girlfriend. He was too handsome not to. Wait, when did he stop being irritating and become handsome? Arthur decided it must have been sometime after the fourth drink. Besides, it wasn't like he cared. "Oh. Very well, let's see."

Alfred pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, took out a small battered photo, and passed it to Arthur. "That's her."

Arthur looked at the photo and blinked a few times. "Um. It's a plane."

"Hey, hey, that ain't just any old plane. She's a P-51 Mustang, her name's Lady Beth, and she's beautiful, ain't she?"

Arthur tilted his head. It still just looked like a plane. "Yes, yes quite, uh, beautiful. I just… well, I thought you were talking about your girlfriend."

Alfred laughed again. He laughed so readily, so easily. "Oh Arthur, Arthur. Beth is the only lady who'll ever have my heart." He looked up slowly, smirked slightly, and winked again.

Oh. Oh. Bollocks. Arthur was stunned. He had no way to react to that, so he just drank quickly and hoped Alfred didn't notice his burning cheeks. Then he quickly glanced around, realised they were the last two in the pub, and started to stand. "Looks like closing time."

"Hey, come now, how about one more drink to round off the night?" Alfred grinned pleadingly up at him. His eyes were so blue, his expression so eager, his face so handsome when he smiled…

Arthur paused, wondered very briefly if this was a good idea, then sat back down slowly. Surely one more couldn't hurt.

One hour later…

"And ANOTHER thing," Arthur shouted. "Is it so bloody hard to use the letter 'u'? 'Color,' 'honor,' bloody… bloody, uh, 'flavor'…" Arthur trailed off and tried to locate his drink on the table. The bloody thing kept moving. Finding it, he took a deep sip and continued. "And so on and so forth… don't even get me STARTED on the letter 's'. Where do you Yanks get off butchering proper English spelling?"

"Well, um, I'm no grammar expert, but…"

"And BASEBALL!" Arthur shouted, swinging his drink and barely noticing half of it land on Alfred. "How the hell do you play baseball? It makes no bloody sense!"

"I'll explain baseball to you, if you explain cricket to me," said Alfred, wiping the rum from his shirt.

"Hey, hey," said Arthur, wagging a finger at Alfred, or in his general direction. Alfred kept moving as well. "Nothing wrong with the great game of cricket. Tradition. Gentleman's game. Sport of Kings."

"I thought that was horse racing."

Arthur waved a hand. "Sport of, sport of Princes then. Dukes. Sport of Baronets at the very least." Noticing his drink was empty, Arthur reached for the bottle. It suddenly disappeared. "Hey…"

"Maybe you've had enough."

Arthur glared at Alfred through bleary eyes. "I own a bloody pub, I'll tell you when I've had enough! And, and, the other thing. You know, the thing."

"The thing."

"Yes, that thing. It's stupid. Oh, and your food is terrible. Don't you agree, Matthew?"

"Uh, Matthew's not here anymore."

Arthur squinted at the identical blonde next to Alfred. "Who's the chap next to you then?"

"All right, seeing double, it's time to go to bed."

"What? Hey!" Suddenly the ground flew away from him. It took Arthur a few seconds to realise he was lying over Alfred's shoulder. "HEY! What is the meaning of this? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Where's your bedroom?"

Arthur gasped indignantly even as his cheeks burned. "I'm not telling you that!"

"Why not?"

"I don't even know what sort of man you are!"

"I assure you, I'm a perfect gentleman."

"No you're not, you're an American. Ah… blimey, how did we end up upstairs?"

"Never mind. Where's your room?"

"At the end of the thing. The whatsit. The hall. I'm warning you, Yank, I'm tougher than I look!"

Was Alfred laughing? Arthur tried to kick him in indignation. The next thing he knew he was being tossed onto his bed. Arthur glanced around at his familiar white walls, green curtains, and sparse furnishings.

"Gosh… how did I get here?"

"Magic," said Alfred, grinning down at Arthur.

"That thing! There! That bloody grin! Why do you always grin like that?"

Alfred just kept doing it. "Does it bother you?"

Arthur could feel his shoes being pulled off. Why was Alfred pulling his shoes off… "No," he said huffily. "Actually, it… makes me…feel…" Sinking into the soft pillow beneath him, Arthur could not keep his eyes open anymore. He sighed deeply as they drifted shut. The last thing he felt before falling asleep was a light kiss to his forehead. But he may have imagined it.

.

Next Chapter

Disclaimer: This story belongs to George deValier. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing.

[fdhfjdafdajfa]

Whats the story of u moving to india like do u have a job or did u just decide to go? Moving seems so complex so i'm really interested if its not as hard as it looks

h’okay so

i grew up in the usa which was an absolute hellhole for me because of, crimes, also, high housing costs, and, just kinda the way the culture is over there, americans are really insufferable, i’m sure i’ll end up ranting about this in greater detail but bottom line they’re racist as shit and im not here for it. i had a lot of crimes happen to me and so my genuine emotional response to that was like, analysing the social causes and agitating for change, even from a very young age. like as a teenager i was doing this but in the past 10 years or so things have changed over there for the worse because of the influence of third wave baloney and everyone who reads one article on VICE thinking they’re a feminist par excellence with a finger on the pulse of womens issues

so i lived basically my entire life with the long-held dream of moving to greece, where, among other things, i figured i’d encounter people who were... less... fucking stupid? and intellectually lazy? especially after the riots in december 2008 which were all about people lighting things on fire and saying smart things until something changed which i’m really into. i was like, hell yeah, i want in on whatever they’re doing right over there. only it took me ten years because of the vast, vast number of crimes i sustained but EVENTUALLY i made it over and it was dope

i prefer everyone there to americans for many many MANY reasons however i did have one major issue there and thats that immigration policy was written by 19th century ethno-nationalists meaning immigration is literally impossible for me unless i can prove i have 2000€ per month i intend to stay. spoiler alert: i don’t and neither do greeks. also my greek sucks and people were kind of patronising about it :T

anyway about a month before i left for greece i made a friend from the uk who traveled to india to visit family and kept telling me these things that were wildly at odds with my worldview, and so my emotional reaction to that was like, awesome, fuck me up with this new info, i believe you but also im going to try to prove you wrong because this is wildly at odds with everything i have ever known in my life so unless i engage i won’t understand. so i did a lot of reading like a Lot more than at any other point in my life im still doing it. it was foundational to me in understanding just what exactly it is that americans are doing wrong and over the course of this i made friends more quickly than at any other period of my life even if americans gradually started to understand less and less of the things i was talking about on any given day. i was never all that popular there to begin with, as mentioned

so that plus the time zone thing eventually i reached a point where like, 90% of my friends are in india. like in greece when i was buying a cell phone i asked about international rates in case i needed to call someone from another country. but once i moved to india, i didn’t need to ask about that anymore, because, everyone i would call lives here! 

as for a job no i dont have one. that’s not to say there was no economic component to me coming here though. see in the USA i lived in dire poverty, i was reliant on the social safety net because the housing costs are so high. the safety net in the USA has been on a downward spiral since the reagan administration at least, and with trump in office i don’t feel good about its continued prospects. i think trump gutted the food stamp program and like, if i lived in the USA when he did that that actually would have been game over for me, i wouldn’t be able to afford both housing and food. like even if i didnt want to i would have legitimately had to blow that popsicle stand. but by leaving when i did i managed to pre-empt that and leave in a much more advantageous position than if i’d waited.

at points i’ve complemented my social security income with money from donations from blogging and stuff, and it’s not really enough to live off of in the USA and truth be told it doesn’t get me to the point of economic security at all. but because of conversion rates i could actually pretty much live off of it here in india. like, securely even. 

basically every single reason a person could have for moving to a country is a reason i moved to this country

[flyingcatstiel]

Hey I'm the anon who used the phrase "positive about cas's death" and uh, I probably should've explained better. I've been a fan approx. two years, I am not very good at analysis, and I don't claim to be reasonable about where the character arcs will actually go. I am positive about cas's death because I see that it is an opportunity (not saying they will take it!!!) for cas to confront himself and maybe, maybe really figureout where he belongs and who he is, truly. Outside of influences

Same anon pt 2) also, your response was a bit hurtful to me because I am over sensitive! My own issues make me feel very insecure when people, especially people who like the same things I do with the same amount of passion, have wildly contrasting opinions. It was unfair for me to pin that on you. This is stupid, it just honestly felt like I couldn’t love cas ~enough~ if I didn’t feel the same way about what his death will mean.

(Same anon pt 3) forgive me if this is annoying, asking three questions in a row lmao. I just want to clarify that I am also sad and mad about cas’s death and I’m not trying to suggest that you shouldn’t express that. This is your space to speak your feelings abt spn just as much as it is mine. However, it’s frustrating to see this kind of conflict, especially when it deals with how much somebody loves a character Bc that often isn’t the most straightforward thing to tell abt someone. Thanks

Thank you for coming back! 

Well, see, we are looking at Cas’ death from different angles. Now, after 12x23, I agree with you that (hopefully) Cas death will bring some positive changes to him as a character and won’t be used solely for the purpose of keeping Cas away from the main plot.(Lol, new spoilers came out today) This is how we reason after the fact and when we know that Cas is coming back. 

But we have been here before, you know? He had died already 4 times. Cas was mind controlled (s8), human (s9), seriously sick (s10), depressed (s11), suicidal (S12). Every single time Cas’ fans hoped to get some kind of resolution to his issues, and all we got was 12x23. When I say that I’m not positive about Cas death, I mean it was not necessary for him to achieve some change. I look at everything that happened to him before and don’t trust the show to do better this time. And talking about the opportunity for Cas to confront himself - it could have been done in any other way? Without killing Cas and plunging his fans in 5 month of sadness and possibly more Cas less episodes of s13. 

Imagine if after 12x12 when Cas almost died there’s an episode with Cas in the bunker, the Winchesters being nice to him. Then, one day, suddenly there’s a some magic thingy and the Winchesters are frozen in time - Dean while watching porn, Sam Skyping to Eileen, Mary with a cup of coffee and typing report to BMOL. Only Cas can move around, so he switches of Dean’s porn to save him money, tries to calm down Eileen, reads Mary’s report to BMOL. Then Cas confronts whatever magic there’s was, gets help from Eileen (more ASL on the show!). During this case Cas is alone, and scared, and confronting his deepest fears. Maybe he is offered something that is hard to refuse. Maybe he’s showed a future that looks terrible. All I’m saying is, IF the show wanted to explore Cas’ state of mind, it could be done in many ways without killing him. Instead, it seams that we will be getting some scenes of Cas in other realm while Dean makes PB&J for Jack. 

As a fan, I’m allowed to criticize the show even when there are fans who think that everything is great. SPN is originally scripted show, they’re not bound by a book like Game of Throne or say True Blood. And even in those cases, if the show hit jackpot with perfect actor for the role, they kept the character instead of killing him like in the book (Lafayette in True Blood). So, when TPTB say that their original character Cas is great but too powerful to be involved in more eps, they’re lying liars who lie. Cas has been human, sick, seriously damaged and he was kept away from the main story every time. The show writers have full control over Cas’ power levels and it is up to them to keep him in the story or to chuck him away. This is why I think Cas’ death happened for the convenience of the show and not Cas’ personal story. 

Speaking about being positive about Cas death. I think the divide is among fans who have been in fandom longer and have their hopes crushed every season, and more recent fans like you, who still have hope that Cas will be treated right by the show. And you know what? You may be right! If the show ends soon, they may give Cas something nice. Maybe a friend in other realm?

Anon, I understand that you’re over sensitive! So am I, and many other fans. The best cure is to keep talking to each other. And I absolutely understand what you mean by wishing that all people who love Cas could also have the same opinions about him. I was in your shoes when I was new to fandom! I thought that all destiel shippers want the same because we agreed on so many things. With time, I’ve came to realize that that is not the case. It’s a learning curve, my dear anon. Every year, with each new season I found out that some of my favorite blogs didn’t react to major Cas’ scenes the same way I do. It always hurt. Every time I felt that I went deeper and deeper into a bitter Cas girl territory. And even here, a lot of Cas’ fans have wildly different opinions about Cas as a character! Even now, my closest friends and bitter Cas fans just like me can have wildly different opinions about angel Cas vs human Cas, bamf Cas or softer Cas, top or bottom Cas. The key here is to respect your friends and not talk to them about issues you disagree with. 

Our love of Cas does not depend on agreeing on everything. 

/I reblogged Cas’ death positive meta just before this post, check it out!/

[itwilltoteshappen]

So...he signed with Syco in January and they literally brought Eleanor back a week later lmao. It's wild...Syco is so sloppy with everything they do they couldn't even try to be more subtle. And then the staged pap fight at the airport. And Ann Marie showing up to his house. I know people want to see the positives and I'm glad for them but I don't find it coincidental that right after he signs a solo deal he gets a scandal . I just feel so heartbroken for him b/c he deserved a fresh start too💔

Hey bub. I'm sorry you're feeling sad. And I get it because Louis does deserve the best. Recently I've had quite a few conversations off blog with people where I've talked about how Louis is an absolute DREAM client. He has a built in extremely loyal fan base who got his first song INCREDIBLY high in the charts in both the U.K. (During a wildly competitive time) and also the US, he is extremely talented, and he's just a lovely person in general without any real scandals (except for a stupid fucking bullshit arrest that will never fail to make me beyond angry whenever I think about it but could also be easily spun because HE DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG and I'm gonna stop talking about it before I get super angry again). ANYWAY. I'll be honest, I've mostly been offline since around 6, but how do we know he signed in January? From the (admittedly very little) bit I've read so far, I actually do personally believe the full record contract wasn't signed until more recently for a couple reasons. First, I think JHO was a test of sorts. Depending on my mood and weather and how low my blood sugar is at any given moment, I may even argue that it WAS an attempt to sabotage him. To put him in his place if you will. A kind of "look you tried your best but you still didn't succeed as a solo artist so maybe you should stick to behind the scenes stuff, kid." But then the fans rallied and foiled those plans. At least that's what I'd like to think to explain why there was no real promo for it from louis' team. Once that ended up doing well they were like well shit. Maybe they can make money off him after all and decided to sign him. Now I obviously don't know all the ins and outs of his contract. I assume it was a matching clause issue. I also will fight to the death for the idea that Louis did not have to sign a record contract with any label if he did not want to, particularly if he decided he wanted to stick to the EDM world which seems to be going in the direction of only singles rather than full albums. He also has enough connections to release something independently if he wanted to. He could easily build up enough name and face recognition being a brand ambassador or doing tv personality gigs or shit I will still fight for Actor Louis because if he wanted to he could totally kick ass at it. My point is, he's not desperate. He doesn't NEED to have a label if he doesn't want it. In general, I'm the type of person who tries to see the good in situations. I'm not one for handwringing before we have details. And if it IS a shit deal and he does end up getting dicked over them yeah that sucks. It absolutely sucks because we know how he deserves so much more. But the way I see it is fretting about it before we know anything isn't going to help. It's just going to make you more miserable. So I'm popping on my rose colored glasses and saying WE GET A WHOLE ALBUM OF JUST LOUIS. Songs he wrote. Songs he's going to sing. Songs that will make us feel a million and one things because that's what he does. And we're going to get more tweets where he teases us and then watches our reactions because you know he loves that shit. And then tweets a shady sunglasses emoji to show us he knows. And we're going to get pictures like him on set of his music video where he's smiling so big and bright because he's getting to do what he loves to do. Those are the things I'm focusing on. Anyway. I've now written an entire essay drunk in the back of a cab (what else is new) and I hope this makes sense. At this point I don't even remember the initial question and I'm on mobile and can't really look at it now so I hope this actually answers what you were asking. I'm just gonna end this by saying how much I fucking love Louis Tomlinson. The end.