#and its also sort of a queer platonic thing sorta?

[the-writing-frog]

I Love You, I Think

I love you,

But not like that.

I want to be with you,

But not like that.

You make me feel so much,

It's hard to describe.

You make me feel

Safe. Wanted. Home. Loved.

I want to love you,

Give you this feeling too.

I want you to feel home,

Give you this feeling too.

I love you.

More than a friend,

Not like a lover,

I just love you.

I wish to be

The reason you smile.

I want to be

The reason you laugh.

I don't know how else

I'm supposed to say

I love you,

I'm home with you.

But I'll just keep saying,

"I love you,

I love you,

I love you."

[wujico]

first post.. wow hello void. this is a little more awkward than i thought. i know i should treat this like im writing on paper again in my little taco journal i got from my friend back in elementary, but... idk maybe its the thought that somebody might read this that puts me off. and also the fact that i just.... havent written anything in any sort of journal since i was 16 and making goodbye letters (ToT) what a life

anyway today is a saturday... well its sunday morning at 5am but im riddled with anxiety and cant sleep so :,) im trying to keep my thoughts busy. i work again tomorrow, only six hours which is usual for me, but its fucking -50⁰ where i live rn and I REALLY dont wanna force myself out of bed..... ugh

but ive been really good at never skipping work unless im throwing up all over the place so :,) speaking of that, i just got done being sick with the flu for the SECOND TIME within two months !!!!! i have a horrid immune system.. most of the time when im sick i spend hours rotting away in my bed and on the bathroom floor... these two times were no different

i genuinely was up at like 5am unable to sleep sobbing in my bed because it hurt so much !!! i gen wanted to die lmfao i hate being sick

but its whatever... at least i got to talk to 🍀 while i was high on meds and a 39.8⁰ fever... i said some funny shit but he just entertained me... i love looking back at our messsages.. he really seems to care for me.... crazy

neway yes saturday.. today.. what did i do- well i had work. i was stressing the entire day over being able to get my hw done for uni classes on time but then i just.. decided not to work on it at all. idk.. work was okay. i love working. even though its a a gross fast food restaurant with shady people coming and making a mess 24/7. all that bad cancels out when it comes to my cowokers. ive had so... so so so many people ive loved at this job. people ive loved more than i should and who have left me (WHATS NEW) BUTTT thats a story for another day

well anyway i got to see one of my besties who is always talking about her boy troubles ... i think everyone still thinks im a lesbian there since im not out to them as trans and have a gf 🙃 its kinda funny.. especially with all my male coworkers

who can just goof off and be close to me without the added stress of thinking its going to go anywhere (for the two of us).

wow this is already becoming so long shksjjsskjslk i have a feeling each post is gonna be like this... just a ramble about my life

anyway. i went home and immediately one of my headmates made himself know... his names nikki and hes... newish? hes been around since august 2023 but just recently showed himself. well we played sky together for a while, just the two of us. i sorta.. soft called out 🍀 on my discord status saying something like "chill cr w/ nikki!! anyone can join!" hoping theyd join my game LOL

well it was a call out to any one of my sky friends on disc (my new friend mochi actually ended up seeing it and we got to talk propery on sky for one of the first times... i was so happy)

i felt bad for 🍀 at first because he couldnt see mochis chat messages while we were having a whole ass conversation with 🍀 piggy on my shoulders... but they added each other a little later and i think the convo went well :)

🍀 's sky friend actually joined us as well.. i dont know her... nor do i really care that 🍀 seemed so close with her (well that was definitely a lie i told myself)

im so jealous LMFAOOOO definitely problems related to being stuck in a toxic friend group for 12 years BUT AGAIN thats a story for another day

anyway i was a bit sad at first because there are just things you cant say in a chat with your queer platonic partner when theres a random who you sort of know but have never personally talked to... so i shut off a bit... nikki tho bless him wtf was like- urging me to stop being so closed off towards sky friends sjhdksjsk especially because this person was really nice and even asked if she could tag along (which i said was fine because i cant say no to anything, no matter how hard i try)

it got better tho, when mochi joined

i really am a horrible person, because i felt i finally had equal grounds on 🍀 by being able to talk to mochi while they couldnt

curse being literally delusionally attached to 🍀 because he is my o n l y true friend !!!

i really am selfish for wanting to have all his attention. i am such a shitty human being

anyway... we went to eden (i lead everyone) and then sat and talked for a bit. being on equal ground with mochi about our interest in skz was super refreshing. its been a while since ive talked to anybody... but i recently joined the sky server and mochi and a few others dmed me

half way through i saw me and 🍀 's mutal friend come online.... ill call him 🌟 on here.... i only recently got to know him because i was online on sky alone and decided to join him.. he was doing quests by himself so i got some 1 on 1 time with him and omg hes so cool

i always have this habit of putting everyone else in an "untouchable" catergory, because everyone compared to me is just so much better. i guess i idolized 🌟 in a way because i never got to talk to him... he was only mutals to me through our sky friend group

anyway after that 1 on 1 i immediately felt so amazing and i wanted to talk to him every chance i get... so after mochi left and he hadnt joined our game (which was suprising because i was with 🍀 and the other person who are close to 🌟 and he likes them a lot better than me so i thought hed join one of them.... but he didnt) so i just went and joined his game immediately

i kinda ditched 🍀 but its whatever, i was still in a bad mood from earlier

i was kinda upset and sad all day so.... i was distant in my head and wasnt talking to anyone.. but that wore off the moment i got the chance to talk to 🍀 again

which was when my dad suprised me with mcdonalds !!! i really felt gross after eating it- and still do- but it helps sometimes. to eat that garbage.. ive always been a binge eater

where the hell even was i

yea i teleported to 🌟 to hang out with him and 🍀 warped to me... i didnt really mind because theyre both super cool and my idols but i got a dry ass greeting from 🌟 wheres as 🍀 got a enthusiastic one !! so yeah immediately i was like aight i see how it is

but 🍀 left to do a cr so i got more 1 on 1 time with 🌟 WHICH WAS SO NICE!! i feel like we are getting closer and closer everyday... anyway he was playing some music and i offered to stay and listen and it was gen so nice... i wanted to fall asleep just listening to him play hehe and after every song id complement him and we'd talk about what hed just played (if it was from a game or a movie) .... and well he seemed gen grateful for the compliments which made me fill up with pride

eventually 🍀 came back but i didnt really mind since i got my 1 on 1 time and i enjoy talking to both of them anyway

we had a nice convo going then 🌟 left

i always feel so prideful when i can make people laugh, even though it might even just be a lol or hahaha

then me and 🍀 had one on one time... which is what brings me to writing this

he mentioned he had a secret tumblr diary. this isnt the first time he mentioned it- back when we met irl he said if i could find it i could read it.... i tried to find it lol but couldnt so i just gave up

i didnt even think about it again until tonight.... i thought about trying to find it again but then i was like- yk what would be a better idea !!! make my own !!

so yeah i got the idea from him... a little secret vent diary place that i hope nobody can find (especially him, but if you do find it, im sorry LOL)

really i kinda wanna go looking for his but.... idk after making my own im just like how fucking awkward would it be for him to find mine and read it 😀😀 LIKE THAT WOULD BE SO BAD

so ive given up again

im gonna wait until he shares it with me.. idk when that'll be, but maybe when he does ill have wrote a lot on here and can share this with him as well

after all, i am kinda crazy. ill tell him every little secret about me if he asked.

i have so much to say but no brain power left. oh well

- ji

(1 / 13/ 2024)

[disaster-by-chance]

A lil rant about Luca and other Pixar movies of the past...

Saw an interesting thing where someone was questioning why the gays herded to Luca and ended up loving the movie when there's other Pixar movies about being different and learning to accept yourself by the end of the movie.

And that's valid, because when it comes to Pixar there's usually two things that happen. Either the protagonist is different and finds a way to accept themselves in the end, or the two main protagonists have a falling out that's ultimately the climax of the story.

However, the only Pixar movies I could think of that followed the idea of, "I'm different, my family won't accept me." were Coco, Brave, Bugs Life, and Ratatouille.

Coco and Brave sort of followed the same idea, seeing as they were both human protagonists who happened to have a family who didn't fully accept them. Miguel wanted to be a musician while Merida didn't want to be a princess/Queen.

Bugs Life and Ratatouille sorta followed a similar idea as well. Seeing as the protagonists weren't human and both had a special talent (Remy cooking and Flick inventing) that wasn't socially acceptable until the end of the movie.

Then, now we have Luca, a mix of both of those as the main protagonist who isn't accepted by his family is both human and not.

So why did the gays flock to it?

Because it is gay! It's queer! Romantically or platonically, you can't deny it was queer.

While Brave might appeal to me as an asexual, it didn't do much for the rest of the community. Not to mention, it had lots to do with family, blood family, something that a lot of people of the LGBTQ+ community usually don't get to keep.

Coco was another movie about blood family and blood family accepting you. And Miguel serves as the only child in the story, with the rest of the characters being adults. Meaning, you can't see the same things you see between Luca and Alberto.

And although I like Bugs Life (sorta) that's just,,, it's just not a movie a community can flock to over shared experiences. Plus, Flick, though he's ostracized, gets with the female protagonist in the end so-

And then there's Ratatouille. Another Pixar movie with banger music and a wonderful story. And a main character that makes you question, "Wait...Are they..?" Trans Remy for the win! And as far as I'm concerned, the gays also love that movie! It's probably another one they can relate to (me included) but I just think that the difference between it and Luca is that Luca has more metaphors and just the fact that Luca was released a few days ago while Ratatouille was released years ago. Luca is fresh, essentially.

That being said, the reason why we gays flocked to the movie rather than other Pixar movies that shared a similar idea is because of how gay it was.

Even if it wasn't intentional, there were so many metaphors for growing up queer in an environment that wasn't accepting. More than the rest of the movies previously listed.

Not to mention all the Italian love songs that were mixed it. None of the other movies had something like that.

And unlike the other movies, the protagonist had someone of their gender who was around their age help them out. So that the audience could see the subtle nods and their relationship develop as the movie went on.

"But there was blood family involved!" Yes, for Luca, yes, but Alberto? Alberto had the gay experience of parents leaving (getting kicked out for being queer) and then the chance to have a found family (Massimo and Guilia).

So when I say the gays went to it specifically because it was gay, I mean it.

Unlike any Pixar movie before, so many people could see themselves in this movie! I could see myself in the movie and tried very hard not to cry as I watched it because I didn't want my mom to say anything.

And it's beautiful??? Why relate to Bugs Life when you've got this Italian seaside beauty??

Not saying that every LGBTQ+ person enjoyed it, but a vast majority of them now call this a comfort movie (me included!). My brother, who is gay, liked the movie, but not as much as I did.

I have my theories of why that is (when I came out, my parents were not accepting and when he did, they had changed their ways) but you can't deny that it was a good movie.

TDLR; The reason why the LGBTQ+ community flocked to Luca vs other Pixar movies of the past is because of how much they could relate to this story and its characters. The music, metaphors, and character dynamics all strongly create a movie that a queer person could relate to in one way or another vs other movies that had lesser of an impact.

[aijee]

hello aijee!! what are your thoughts on mingyu and wonwoo's bittersweet?

Oh anon. Oh anon, anon, anon. I have very many feelings about this remarkable intersection of ley lines. I’m sure the WWxMG spheres of the Internet are in some state of madness, and I felt like my meager offerings would be nothing in comparison. But you are now my excuse to write up a Pandora's box answer that I've done my best to organize below the cut. It’s honestly not that exhaustive, but I have to catch a flight soon.

The short of it is: I really liked it! It was nice to see WW/MG doing something distinctly not hip-hop, or eye candy-centric, or “let’s fight over this random girl for no reason other than to give (female) fans the feeling of being sandwiched between two hot guys.” The urban imagery was also wonderful. I’m a big, big sucker for Japanese films set in cities in the 80s/90s, so this video definitely hit a specific aesthetic nerve for me. ALSO LEEHI MY BAE!!

But, fair disclaimer, I do have some reservations. Nothing is perfect!

The song itself

It was refreshing to hear a softer song with WW and MG doing so much of the vocals. I’m so used to eleven other guys contributing (I’m personally a bigger fan of the group/non-solo tracks), it was almost jarring to hear only two male voices in something very much not hip-hop or rapping. And LeeHi? My ex-YG BABEE?? I honestly wished I heard more of her!! And saw her in the video! Her voice was a perfect addition to a song that sounds more, as its name suggests, bittersweet.

I feel like all three of the artists involved have a much more dynamic range that could have been utilized, even for a muted tone. The song overall doesn’t really stand out to me, especially within Seventeen’s wonderful discography and selection of ballads. The instrumental was kinda weak ngl. But I still very much enjoyed the song! The lyrics from an English-speaking standpoint were also very lovely and definitely struck the heart on my sleeve, as you can imagine from the types of themes I tend to write about. Kudos to MG and WW for participating in it! Always love seeing SVT showing off their creative chops.

The video/cinematography

Frankly, I wasn’t impressed by it. 3.5/5 stars. I’m personally not a big fan of the blurry type of slow motion. I get that, perhaps, it was meant to evoke a sense of reminiscing on old memories, which can be blurry and choppy. But I felt like those extra seconds could have been used for more evocative cinematography between the trio or combinations thereof. There was so much potential to have a more unified sense of “story.” I felt like the acting really carried it, but overall the visual artistry didn’t hold together in my opinion.

I also thought that the imagery paired with the lyrics was often too on-the-nose. (Take this with a grain of salt from someone who doesn’t know Korean, only the official English translations.) In other words, I thought that the shots could be too literal when paired with the lyrics.Yes, yes, eyes are are meeting but something still feels far apart because the girl ain’t lookin at WW. Yes, yes, the scent of a moment fills hands because we see a glass of alcohol in presumably WW’s hand. I do like that the lyrics actually match the video to some degree (since so many Kpop MVs are just dancing in a fancy room), but, again, it felt too one-to-one without much thought otherwise.

Also, those AirPods lmao. I don’t know why, but that took me out of the immersion. WW and MG had one each, and I’d be knocking furniture down at that observation if they both weren’t wearing right-side pods, thus eliminating the possibility of sharing. Imagine!! Turning the act of sharing AirPods into something symbolic! Remembering things when someone else “plays that old tune”, being disconnected and connected at the same time, etc. To think that I’d be yell-writing about the potential symbolism of AirPods...

The duo/trio

My first thought seeing this video was: Are Mingyu and Wonwoo okay with this? They clearly had a say in the lyrics, so I feel like they’re okay. Instinctually, I get concerned about how a company can push idols pairings in official content to the point of undermining the real-life relationship; I felt like WW, as a naturally shyer and introverted person, stepped back from the WonGyu pairing at some point. I think this was a bigger concern in the group’s earlier years, and I feel like they and the fandom have matured significantly over time. Fans reading this are certainly free to educate me on their takes regarding this, since I follow Seventeen’s official content more (as much as I am able to, at least) than fan content, like fancams, and I try not to make too many legit assumptions based on official content.

All this being said, I think they looked really comfortable with each other in the video! Which I loved the most, honestly. The premise didn’t didn’t feel like guys fighting over a girl (yawn). I’m not a fan of the overused K-Pop trope of “let’s have a random girl act as a stand-in for fans to feel like they’re being pursued by their oppars.” I felt like, while MG and WW expressed clear interest in the girl, there was interest expressed in each other as well—especially MG towards WW in my opinion, cont’d below. And the interest was never forced to be romantic, even though it could be! LOVE that for them. (I highly recommend reading up on “queer platonic relationships”, which a friend of mine taught me recently. Made the mistake of writing “romantic” instead of “platonic” so sorry 😬)

Motherfuckin Kim Mingyu AKA my interpretation of the story

*I did read the little summary in the description box about “three longtime friends”, but I’m choosing to ignore it because I don’t think the video portrays that well and I like my interpretation better haha!

That sequence of WW putting a hat on MG, with WW’s fond but exasperated face of a hyung (I’m okay, not okay).

The cut from that shot of WW and the girl breathing heavy and looking at MG, to MG staring vacantly behind a rained-on glass window (I close my eyes but thoughts of you...).

The way MG steps out first into the rain and smiles back at WW in that last sequence of shots (Eyes meeting but hearts apart); MG looks so content despite the sadness usually meant to be evoked by dramatic rain sequences.

As someone who normally connects with WW, I really connected to MG’s character this time around. I interpreted MG’s character as going through a really complex series of emotions towards both the girl and WW, platonic, romantic or otherwise. It’s hard to pin down, but the small age difference between him and WW felt so much more apparent in the MV. I almost got the impression that maybe MG’s character felt new, naive and lost in the city (he has a few shots of wandering or being in front of urban areas). Then he found stability with the girl and WW, the consequence being the whirlwind of feelings he must be experiencing because of them. I wish there was more exposition hinting at what happened to the girl, since she sorta just...blipped out of existence by the end.

At the start of the MV, WW’s character looked like he was at the end of his rope, drinking away his woes, maybe because of what seems like a nice job based on the suit. But then he found solace in the female bartender, who was kind and had open ears. The two of them became friends (maybe more, perhaps one-sided in WW’s disfavor). Then WW met MG through her. He saw MG’s character as a cute dongsaeng to be nice to, mostly on the whims of the girl, even dancing with them after closing time. But maybe WW’s character started having complicated feelings for MG’s character throughout it all. He started seeing MG more (more than the girl? Hard to say), based on how he was staring at MG at the end of the running sequence at around 2:08, not even looking back at the girl. He ended up liking MG so much, that he followed MG into the rain despite them both avoiding it, staying indoors, before the end sequence.

That’s sort of the dirty and quick of my initial thoughts. Honestly, I wish I had the energy and speed to throw out a proper written work because I LOVE stories that are basically just complicated feelings with relationship boundaries that are hard to define. Also, gotta say, that little sassy look the female actress gave at around 0:30 was real cute. 👀

[flowerflamestars]

elain for the character asks?

Considering how long it took me to find the prompt bit, I think this has been languishing in my inbox for a shamefully long time! I’m so sorry- I am terrible at asks, but I love them and thank you :) How I feel about this character: MY GIRL. I love Elain, I love writing Elain, I hate beyond the scope of reason how Feyre sees/talks about her sister. 

As someone who, irl, has also been just like, wildly disregarded for/while presenting extremely feminine, I feel for her. Elain is still an Archeron. She’s got fire in her- even the baking thing. Noble Archeron Daughters were clearly never allowed to learn basic domestic skills, it is a rebellion. That’s our theme overall- I think there’s so much that gets swept under the rug, or goes unnoticed with her.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: So, in fic, I have thus far paired her with: Lucien, Azriel, Lucien AND Azriel, and Morrigan.  If you come from the frame of canon, Elain can be shipped with basically anyone, because we know...almost nothing about her actual thoughts/feelings.

I also...have a wild rogue option. 

1. Lucien. Come on- let Elain have some of that mischievous charm! that canonical good Autumn banging! Let them get together with aching slowness and fuck off from the Night Court that underestimates and sorta dislikes them both forever. They’re mates for a reason, even if I do also love the idea of a platonic bond.

2. AZZY BABY. Look, despite ACOWAR, the great charm of this ship remains almost purely aesthetic. They are a COMPELLING combination. Her hair tangled on his armor! Azriel blushing! the fact that they both have so, so much going on below the surface and seem to, at least on Azriel’s side, understand that. BUT. BUT. unless canon can find a way to double back on SJM changing her mind from ACOMAF’s clear Az + Mor Forever bullshit, and this is just...here Az, have another beautiful blond lady to protect, I WILL RIOT

3. Why have a love triangle...when they can all love each other?? (I remain steadfast in the fact that queer Az like...makes the MOST sense, but I digress.) 

4. Babes, stay with me: Jurian. I personally think that his actual role in canon will be to become Vassa’s king...but canon is wildly unreliable. ACOFAS, nightmare that it is, is our bridge to the future.

Elain is lowkey obsessed with regaining her humanity. It is Not Subtle. Feyre, because she’s Feyre, frames this as Elain still being in love with Greyson...which I don’t really buy. It’s about what Grayson represented: safety (which a la Jane marrying Bingley absolutely extended to her also being able to protect Nesta, fight me), familiarity, the sort of life Elain has thought she’d have since childhood. Everything around her is unfamiliar and threatening...and furthermore, the lady wants her original body that was forcible taken from her. 

Jurian is our One Human Hero. He’s team humanity 1000%. Elain is going to wildly fuck his world view: she’s High Fae, but she was born human. She’s a faery, and she wants to be human- but all the good parts of Human Elain didn’t just disappear with transformation. It is DELICIOUS.

Furthermore, we get cogent elements of other Elain ships- Jurian is fucking ancient, he’ll understand her war trauma. He’ll fucking throwdown to defend her. He’s in the unique position to understand both Magic Powers, but also, her human heart.  He probably gets, considering his own history, more than the people around her are willing to, that Elain Is Not Okay.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Not to be the most on brand, but NESTA. I always find it so ridiculous in canon, that every single time Elain says something cutting or like..remotely sassy, Feyre is like ELAIN? Elain? 

Elain and Nesta are sisters- AND best friends. Elain has more social graces..but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t also have those thoughts. They get along- they’re a team.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Not to always scream the same thing- but. I want her a thousand miles from the Night Court. She is so transparently going through the motions, and they like her for that?? Its SO unhealthy. There’s no respect for her as person, she’s fully boiled down to The Nice One We Have to Take Care Of. 

She is a GROWN WOMAN, and is she is NOT OKAY. I want her to snap. Burn down that house Rhys bought her. Fuck all the way off like, I’m a seer, I control my own destiny, I am allowed to be in pain. 

Even if what she wants in the end is a quiet, normal life, I want her to get the chance to choose it. Not because her younger sister bought it for her and shoved her into it so they’d have more pleasant smalltalk to make at family dinners. It is...not that insane for grown family members to love each other and still live lives with healthy boundaries. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Oh jesus, so many things. The limitation of Feyre’s Little Sister goggles is the most telling with Elain, because unlike Nesta, Elain doesn’t always have the tools to make herself heard.

Okay, but actual prediction: I’ve talked about this previously, but I think Elain going Full Faery is going to be an intrinsically more magical journey than Feyre or Nesta. She sees the future- her power isn’t a tool (Feyre), or a compliment to her being (Nesta)- she became something else. I want her to be the wild one. Just, utterly fey in the literary sense, otherworldly, scary beneath the prettiness! I want her to be allowed to have the range. 

[bonesandblood-sunandmoon]

Growth (& sharing a poem)

CoA prompt for Jan 2020 - “New” [Call for Submissions]. As of this post [Jan 9th], the Carnival of Aros WP hasn’t released its Call for Submissions link, so the link is to the direct post from @aro-neir-o.

The poem was not written by me, but @opaline-words (link and poem provided below the cut).

1) New things you have learned since discovering aromanticism (about yourself, about aromanticism, about other arospec people, about the queer community in general, etc.).

I’m not sure to what extent having to interact with family that involves re-closeting myself has created a temporary and/or artificial split in how I approach aspects of my identity. I don’t necessarily combine gender musings with aro musings, for example, and especially when it’s far more obvious in my daily life while closeted on the gender front, I just don’t prioritize finding out I’m under the aro umbrella in the same way that other aro bloggers seem to. Maybe it’s the fondness for sideblogs where they’ve made the choice to prioritize their aroness in that space, but I alternate feeling like a lurker and feeling like I’m intruding where I don’t belong. It’s not quite as dire or pessimistic as the phrase ‘rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic’ suggests, but I guess I’m at a stage where other things have to take a higher priority for now.

I’m not trying to get some sort of reassurance that I can include myself in the aro community with this. (I figure someone would’ve asked me to stop writing submissions for the Carnival of that were the case.) It’s more that I’ve realized that not every group or community is made up of 200% committed Ride Or Die people, even if said group is considered young and relatively smaller than more established groups. I’m under the aro umbrella, but as an example, I’m just not going to be at the forefront of aro community leadership or education efforts. I don’t have the time, energy, or in-person capabilities for certain types of community building like that, y’know?

2) New things you have learned since interacting with the aro community (about yourself, about aromanticism, about other arospec people, about the queer community in general, etc.).

It’s mildly annoying when I interact with an allo-allo person who assumes that something I’m doing platonically is romantic, but I have to work on stopping myself from reacting too quickly (out of a place of hurt) when aros do it. I’m afraid a somewhat public post about my perspective of greyro included that type of a knee-jerk reaction, but I’m hoping to do better in 2020.

3) New experiences you’ve had since learning about aromanticism and/or discovering your own aromanticism (e.g., new types of relationships, new types of feelings, new vocabulary that you found described you, new conversations you’ve had with others).

Confession: When I was first trying to figure out if I was somewhere under the aro umbrella at all, I came up with a term that I felt encompassed my specific experience. It kinda, sorta has overlap with a few other terms that I’ve seen a few times (definitely not often), but I’ve honestly never felt like sharing that term would actually accomplish anything in the aro community. It might lead to someone creating a flag or something, but I just don’t see it catching on or being helpful.

Other: I really like the idea of crafting a relationship through collaboration with my friends (not related to QPPs or waverships, but inspired by that level of intent to talk about where the friendship may be going), and I know at least a few of them have already figured out some of amatonormativity’s side effects. Occasionally, some aro vent posts come across like alloromantics are fine and peachy with amatonormativity, but from a personal level, a few of my friends are frustrated with the unevenness towards valuing friendship, too. It’s just that picking up on this doesn’t actually counteract amatonormativity or make any sort of relationship maintenance easier in the face of it. And as much as certain posts have gone around saying that the aro community digs in deeper and more in-depth into discussions about amatonormativity, relationship conventions, and whatnot, it’s not exactly easy trying to figure out how to talk about this with people outside of the aro community.

4) New aro or aro-coded content you have come across that you want to share or critique.

A poem titled “what does love feel like?” by @opaline-words [link to original tumblr post]. For those who don’t want to open a new tab or window, the poem is shared below.

what does love feel like?

is it the wit or the whimsy;

the pull or the repulsion;

the handle or the edge

of the knife?

you walk through the dog park

devoid of dogs,

or

you walk yourself to the car

in the rain,

and

you have no idea.

you can’t remember

or

you never knew.

One of the first things I told my friend, ~opaline-words, after this poem crossed my dash back in Oct 2019 was that it had aro vibes. From the first stanza: “what does love feel like?” (literally one of the first discussion points that questioning aro folks go through), “the pull or the repulsion” (romance repulsion or lack thereof), and “the handle or the edge | of the knife?” (the interplay of societal expectations around romantic love hurting aros versus feeling like you’re hurting and/or manipulating people).

From the second stanza: “the dog park | devoid of dogs”, which I think resonates with feeling the distinct lack of what’s expected, and for those struggling with feeling like a social failure, a feeling that gets into purposelessness. However, I would caution against a depressing interpretation of uselessness in “you walk through the dog park” because a dog park isn’t necessarily restricted from humans walking through it. I can see a certain kind of repurposing or twisting of conventions that reads more like the greyro or otherwise spectrum/umbrella portion of the aro community.

From the third stanza: “you can’t remember | or | you never knew”, which makes a certain part of inner-me go chef’s kiss. I personally resonate with feeling like I’ve ‘lost’ my ability to detect romantic attraction, and while I could write down memories of crushes in November’s CoA post (an extent of literal memory remains), I do feel like a certain part of me can’t remember how to decipher romantic attraction. I can’t say that it’s a universal aro experience, but I figure it may also resonate with others. I can more clearly see the aro feels for the ending thought “you never knew” and the last line of the second stanza “you have no idea”, particularly for the aromantics who haven’t experienced romantic attraction (handle/end-case).

I don’t want to say that this is the only reading of ~opaline-word’s poem that anyone can have, but I had to get the initial impressions out of my system, and I wanted to have some context for why I’m reblogging this poem in the latter half of February and including an aro tag on it.

[littlehollyleaf]

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) 

Then tag ten people

Tagged (ages ago, whoops!) by @castiel-saved-me-from-myself 

(I’m sorry, I got distracted!)

1.Supernatural. Castiel.

Obviously. I may be out of the fandom now, but I’ve never loved a character as much as Cas, and probably never will.

2. Good Omens. Aziraphale.

Thought I’d put both my darling angels at the top :) I suspect that without Zira there to pave the way Castiel may not even have existed, so I love him double - for himself and for Cas as well :p 

While really quite different when it comes to their personalities (just think how Zira would SHUDDER at Cas’ trenchcoat), they share a lot of character traits and tropes (mini-series!Zira anyway, maybe less so in the book, or less obviously anyway), so, no surprise that I should adore them both. I’ve also said before, and I stand by it, that Aziraphale is sort of a combination of my favourite aspects of both Cas and Dean in one, with Cas’ struggle with Heaven/god and trying to be a good angel and finding he loves humanity/earth more, plus Dean’s whole ‘performing Dean’ thing and repression of queer feelings he is scared to admit to (out loud) because he believes they are somehow ‘wrong.’ 

...just to give a little insight into my feelings about these two that was neither needed nor asked for...

4. Hellblazer. NBC Constantine. Legends of Tomorrow. John Constantine. 

Aaaand the other guy I love twice because Cas, and indeed spn in general, kinda owe their existence to him. Though in turn his fabulous live action portrayal by Matt Ryan probably owes its existence to spn and Castiel’s popularity. So... there’s a weird ouroboros situation happening with my favs here that makes my head spin whenever I think about it, but I love it - stories within stories built on stories feeding off stories, which connects to wider themes of story and storytelling being vital and intrinsic to life and stuff.

Anyway, despite his wardrobe, Johnny is NOTHING LIKE CAS. He is, in fact, a lot like Dean. But I like him more. Maybe because he’s British :p He has the whole ‘repressing his feelings’ things, a bit like Zira, but it’s not because he thinks they are wrong, it’s more of a coping mechanism to deal with the constant tragedy/trauma his life/lifestyle/fate causes him to suffer. But whatever the reason, I like my characters facing that struggle :) (actually the British element is probably way more significant to my enjoyment of him than I’ve been fully aware of... that’s probably why I loved Zira so fast as well... obviously they are both a completely different class of British, literally, but the fact they ARE British is INTRINSIC to both their characters, and I guess a little, vaguely patriotic part of me is excited by that... :p)

4. Gotham. Edward Nygma.

Since I’ve started giving explanations - I love Eddie because he’s also got the whole ‘emotionally repressed’ / out of touch with (his) emotions thing going on (as seen in Zira and Cas), but with the addition of various geeky / ‘tech guy’ character traits that I also love.

5. Doctor Who (Classic). Vislor Turlough.

I waxed poetic once about how I liked Gotham’s Edward Nygma because he reminded me a bit of Turlough. That was early on in my Gotham days though and given how Eddie developed I don’t see as many similarities now. Turlough shares some of Eddie’s ‘dark’ traits however - self-centered, often lacking in empathy for others and nonplussed (sometimes even happy) to see them get into trouble or hurt. But ultimately his attempts to be self-serving and cowardly end up thwarted by him developing feelings for specific individuals despite his best efforts, which is what I enjoy about him (and actually that’s a lot like Eddie still, huh... their endgame’s are opposing though ofc - while Eddie goes on to embrace being a villain, Turlough gives up on villainy and even becomes a bit of a hero, now and then). Plus, Turlough is the ONLY Companion (IIRC?) to have joined the Doctor specifically in order to MURDER him and... idk, I just think that’s cool :P

6. Doctor Who (New). Donna Noble.

(I’m trying not to double up on fandoms/shows so I can cover more, but New and Classic Who count as different things, kinda, right...?)

Donna doesn’t really fit any of the character traits I’ve talked about above, though I guess her low self-esteem is something that all my other favs share in various ways (though it’s not such an EXPLICIT aspect of their characters and story arcs as it was for Donna I’d say). What I first loved about her was that after YEARS of New companions (and other randoms) being literally in love with the Doctor, she had a strictly platonic relationship with him. Yeah, I think maybe the show was a bit heavy-handed about it, but even so it came as a huge breath of fresh air and frankly a RELIEF to me. Not that I’m opposed to the Doctor having romantic/sexual  relationships, it was just that... coming from a childhood love of the Classic series where that just... didn’t happen (save a fleeting kiss in the TV Movie - which I actually enjoyed fyi!), it just... idk, was starting to stretch my credulity that EVERYONE seemed to be falling for him maybe? Or at least for me it was growing tiresome. So the fact she didn’t have that element to her character/story was a plus. Then I just adore how loud and brash she is when calling anyone, including the Doctor, out on their shit (I envy her that maybe). Plus I like the way she isn’t... traditional TV pretty, you know? (ie. young and slim, like a lot of other companions).

...or maybe I just like redheads *shrug emoji* 

7. Spartacus. Naevia.

(she has two actresses okay? and they both deserve kudos!)

Truth is I love FUCKING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW. Spartacus is like... my PERFECT SHOW. There isn’t a single moment, a single plotline, a single character that I don’t enjoy. I have never even CONSIDERED looking up or writing fic because the finished product is completely satisfying exactly as it is. God. But I wanted it represented in this list so I had to pick someone!

Considering the time period there couldn’t really BE a ‘geeky, emotionally repressed with low self-esteem’ character :p BUT nearly ALL of the characters have the whole ‘struggle to understand/discover who they are’ thing and the ‘who I am and want to be is counter to who I’ve been told I am / should be’ arc, on account of the main cast being rebelling slaves (though the other characters are equally complex and compelling and I love them too - Lucy Lawless in particular is incredible!). Anyone who’s seen me blog about the show before might have thought I’d pick either Agron or Nasir as my favs, since I do like to squee over their romance. But whenever I think about the show it’s usually Naevia who I remember first, because her character arc/development just BLEW ME AWAY. She went from someone I’d kinda dismissed at first as a typical het love interest to a WARRIOR GODDESS and you SEE all the key moments of that growth, you FEEL it, it makes ALL THE SENSE. And her romance with Crixus, which again I was initially a bit dismissive of as a typical, sudden, weak het romance, grows into, imo, one of the deepest, most developed, most believable love stories in the show. So yeah. Naevia. Amazing.

8. Due South. Ray Vecchio. 

(he’s the guy not the dog - gifs were limited! ...also the dog is actually a wolf, it’s a whole thing... that doesn’t need exploring at this juncture)

Ray was my first TV crush :P He had a bit of a sidekick vibe to him I guess, which I like (lead characters tend not to interest me as much). He wasn’t ‘geeky’ exactly, but he def had the ‘trying to look/act cooler than I am’ thing going on... also an obsessive attachment to his vintage car... meanwhile his partner Benny was the stoic, ‘British, stiff upper lip, keep emotions in check’ one who was always trying to live up to the ideal persona dictated by his people/employers, in this case the Royal Canadian Mounted Police... HUH, so... it’s actually SUPER WEIRD that I ended up loving Cas and Zira over Dean and Crowley when it seems pretty clear suddenly that my first big fictional fav was CLEARLY the Dean-Crowley to Benny’s Cas-Zira......?? Ray was FUNNY in a way Dean and Crowley aren’t though, I think? He def filled a ‘comic relief’ slot on the regular and I liked that a lot (it also made his serious, angsty moments EXTRA serious and angsty, and extra angst is something I always love!)

9. The Librarians. Eve Baird.

Remember this little show? It was... is... sorta ridiculous. Not amazing. Based on some... very cheap, very OBVIOUS Indiana Jones rip-off films, that were also ridiculous and... not... great (the third one is the best, with an awesome performance by Stana Katic aka Kate Beckett as a vampire, but I digress). But... idek, I am EXTREMELY FOND of the series for some reason :p

There are a WHOLE BUNCH of characters that fit my ‘type’ more than Eve tbh... in fact... probably every.single.other.main.cast.member (save perhaps Jenkins?) shares the traits above that typically make a character my fav. But... EVE! I just... think she’s neat! ...maybe it’s BECAUSE all the others are main/lead characters that makes me gravitate towards her? In a cast where ‘geeky, socially awkward, struggles with emotions’ is the norm, Eve being the no-nonsense, socially competent, badass soldier type therefore becomes different and thus more interesting to me? Also, much like with Donna, I appreciate that she’s an older woman who gets to have a full character and plot of her own. There’s also something about her romance with Flynn that... makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jonathan Levinson.

(tumblr gif search failed me so I had to grab from elsewhere...)

Listen. Look. Okay. Buffy is pretty old school these days so, for anyone not in the know, as a character, originally, Jonathan... he wasn’t even a side character, he wasn’t even REOCCURRING, he was barely a background character. For several episodes he didn’t have a name and it wasn’t until several seasons after he became ‘Jonathan’ that he actually got a surname. Danny Strong was just an actor who happened to be occasionally on-hand when the script called for a random to have a line, until eventually that happened often enough for Joss to think ‘hey, you know what, let’s make this guy an actual part of the show...’ 

He got a couple of episodes focused on him in S03 and S04 respectively, but didn’t become a regular until S06 (and wasn’t in S05 AT ALL). Other than that he had a HANDFUL of ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments here and there, not even full scenes for the most part, usually lasting no longer than the above gif.

I tell you all this so that when I say childhood me (well... somewhere between 12 and 14 years anyway) was OBSESSED with this character in the show, and I mean O B S E S S E D (to the point of spending hours painstakingly making VHS recordings purely of the episodes he was in), you understand how UTTERLY BIZARRE that was. Because this obsession pre-dated S06. Was, in fact, in full swing during the airing of his S04 episode - which was, like, a fucking DREAM COME TRUE for freakily obsessed me fyi, because the whole episode was constructed with him as the LEAD CHARACTER, because he’d performed a spell to make him super awesome. They even changed the title sequence to read ‘Jonathan’ instead of Buffy! And while other fans were no doubt just lol-ing at the random I was bouncing about on my sofa all ‘MY TIME HAS COME!’ and fucking SWOONING over seeing MY CHARACTER suddenly in the spotlight and getting to do crazy fun OOC shit like this -

Then when S06 rolled around and HE WAS A LEGIT REGULAR, omg, I was in HEAVEN! First TV boxset I ever bought that - Buffy S06 :P

So... yeah. A bit of a fav. Geeky. Outcast. Slowly grows more morally grey, what with that spell I mentioned and also the fact he was teamed with the ANTAGONISTS in S06. I guess you could say he was the beginning of a lot of my fav fictional character traits/tropes (though looking back - I think his ‘villainous’ teammates in S06, Andrew and Warren, are more my ‘type’ these days, and I did end up loving Andrew especially a whole damn lot, but at the time I’d been a Jonathan fangirl for so.fucking.long. there was just no chance anyone else in the show was ever gonna come close to my heart!)

THE END.

Sorry not sorry for the tmi. I got a bit too into this one.

Actually sorry I have so few women on the list :( Internalised misogyny/sexism is a real thing and I spent a lot of my life being... somewhat unfairly dismissive of female characters or at least prioritising male ones over them. I’m working on it.

Ten people is SO.MANY. to tag. But I might as well do this right this time, since I’ve come so far. But if you’d rather not play, no worries! <3

@enchantersnight @momecat @bold-sartorial-statement @vampirebillionaire @edwardnashtons @miss-olivia-cellophane @knightinpinkunderwear @supes9 @leaper182 @hamburgergod

Honourable mentions (because I CAN):

Gotham. Lucius Fox.

Gotham. Fish Mooney.

Gotham. Tabitha Galavan.

Doctor Who. The Doctor.

Doctor Who. The Master/Missy.

Supernatural. Hannah.

Supernatural. Naomi.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Andrew Wells.

[emberkyrlee]

Critical Role: Taliesin’s trio of characters.

Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III(I remembered how to say it all, but I had to look up how to spell it. XD)

How I feel about this character

I love the complexity of Percy, the fact that he had very human flaws, and would much more willingly tarnish his own soul further than let any of his found family make any deals with any devils.Watching him grow and move on to have a future was incredibly satisfying, from a storytelling standpoint.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Vex’ahlia. He originally never thought he’d even go so far as to tell her how he felt. But as he healed and lived to become a better person, he actually dared to hope he had a future. And she saw him, darkness and all, and loved him, not in spite of it, but for it along with the rest of him.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Taryon Darrington. Science Bros!What can I say, I loved watching the two of them nerd out, not to mention Tary’s adorable crush on him.

My unpopular opinion about this character

No idea. What are people’s opinions on Percy?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I’m hoping to see him and the family in C2 at some point. I want to see his reactions to them, how he’d get along with them, or not.

Mollymauk Tealeaf

How I feel about this character

Molly reminds me of the happier parts of my upbringing. (Having grown up in a pagan/queer/poly household and frequenting fantasy events) He’s a smartass manic pixie disaster teifling and I love. He made me remember to embrace my weird.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Nobody in specific. For the period of time we had him, he gave me the impression he wasn’t likely to want to be with just one person.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I was really enjoying watching his and Beau’s... not-quite-friendship develop. They were almost sibling-like at times. The effect his death had on Beau was so incredibly strong, too.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Again, I don’t know what opinions are popular or unpopular for this one. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Obviously, I wish he hadn’t died. I was (still am) attached to that character, and losing him was heartbreaking.I’m sorta sad he and Clay never met. I’d love to know what they’d think of each other.

Caduceus Clay

How I feel about this character

So soothing. Also rather entertaining to watch. I love how he’s a good example of low intelligence but high wisdom.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

None. I think I low-key headcanon him as asexual? I don’t know if Taliesin ever confirmed an orientation for him, but he strikes me as full of platonic love.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I’m currently really enjoying how he’s sort of being a guide and mentor to Fjord’s transformation.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Another character I haven’t seen enough of other people’s opinions of to really know.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Like I said, it would be interesting to see what he and Molly would think of each other.I think there’s more of this character to see yet, for the character to learn about himself. Taliesin said its finally dawned on Clay just how broken the rest of the party is. That having helped even one person heal and grow is worth all the trouble. I want to see him have that sort of relationship with everyone in the party at some point.

[themadcapmathematician]

Me explaining/working out some of my sexuality things under the cut

Also yeah i consider myself both bisexual and aroace. Its just what best fits my orientation. "Bi platonic" might be closer to what i experience but it just sounds wrong to me and i consider myself greyplatonic anyway and its really annoying to explain to people and maybe this is internalized aphobia but it also sounds like im only kinda sorta in the bi community but like no im just bi. Im bisexual. I like to have sex with all sorts of genders and im aesthetically attracted to all sorts of genders and i am open to relationships with all sorts of genders. Im bi.

I might somewhat consider myself asexual without sam but the aromantic part is really important to me. It reslly describes me. And i kinda use grey-a labels but im still lowkey tired of having to explain all that and also it kind of...suits me but doesnt. Which is how i feel about a lot of labels tbh.

Also i id with omni, pan, and polysexual labels i just rarely bring them up because i guess theres that fear of being accused of collecting labels, they just all suit me. And i guess some part of ke dismisses them as not important but like...they are. And they are to me. Its just me dismissing myself again i think but they are important. maybe i should bring them up more. theyre my communities too.

Over all i id with queer the most but sometimes i wanna talk about intracommunity issues yknow?

[motherstone]

Can you tell us more about your OCs? How are the OG cast their ancestors? Are Gabi and Sandra happy together now? Married yet? Your OCs are so rad and I love their story

!! AaaaAA thank you!! 😄😄😭😭💟💗💞💘💓💕💘💝 that’s is so rad of you op!!! And I’ll try my best to tell them a bit of their story:

Lemlin is born with a birth defect (underdeveloped elf ears), which makes him unable to receive vibrations (I hc the tip of elf ears are used to detect so) and hear things properly. He doesn’t really want implants and is actually perfectly fine with his disability, so he wears hearing aids instead and elf ears prosthetics just in battle. He had a full-blooded elf brother, Jaqes, who was the son of a wealthy nobleman before the Nobility class was dissolved a long time ago. They have a close and amiable relationship with one another, but Jaqes didn’t know he’s a member of the covert Auxiliary, much less a sharpshooter (which is ironic, because he’s the head of the Central Intelligence Division in there, a mix of CIA and FBI). Lemlin has a variety of friend including both humans, elves, and halflings. He’s really interested in theater, which is actually pretty suitable with his disability (deaf people are incredibly expressive while signing so yea!), and often goes on shows (Gigas goes with him on ocassion. They sorta have a father-son relationship haha). He’s the elf equivalent of 16 (no one knows. They thought he’s 22, it also doesn’t help he has his helmet on all the time). Lemlin is pan-ace. He lives in Milre, Gulfen.

Ian has a very strained relationship with his father (hc is that nearly all who is part of the Elf army are abusive fathers because they didn’t get the treatment they needed at the time), who is at odds with his homosexuality. He doesn’t care though, although at first he inherited his racism. That is, until his sister (Mako) had teenage sex with a human (who broke up with her when she got pregnant), and thus giving birth to a halfling, much to his anger. He’s even more furious with humans over this, but eventually realize his anger was bullshit, especially when his nephew was born. Now he has human friends, a human BESTfriend (Sandra), and is now seatching for a boyfriend (he’s working on it. If they can’t handle his personality they gotta go). Ian is passive-aggressive and sarcastic at times, especially on the field, so it causes great friction among the group, he is also prideful and assured with his great skills and technicality. However for all of his ego, he is a good leader when Gabi is not around and gets the job done, and is incredibly competent at what he do (he’s based on a few teachers and a classmate of mine haha). He’s the elf equivalent of 26, with kinfe skills, mechanic skills, pilot skills, and tactic skills, only second to Gabi (but the gap is still wide). He’s gay. He lives in Gorbon, Windsor.

Gigas! Big and friendly Gigas. He used to live in Ganon’s Gate, and had a halfling bestfriend, that is until said friend was lynched, to his great horror. It leads him to killing someone who went after him, which landed him in jail. Thankfully, Gulfen’s prison system is revised thanks to the King (Trellis. It’s similar to how prisoners are treated in Norway), so his actions are recognized as self-defense. While in prison, someone from the Auxiliary sees potential in him (it helps that he’s huuuuge. Like, 6"10’ huge. I decided that 7 feet is too tall), and thus offers to recruit him once his term is finished. By then, he’s a changed man, learning from experience, books, and stories from the inmates helped him develop a kinder and helpful personality (still cheerful tho. He’s always a joyous and passionate man). He gets into the Auxiliary and was assigned to Lufen, Coco, where he met his wife. It was a celebratio for the end of the great war, and the city was holding a huge banquet (similar to the fiesta of the Philippines where the food is laid out on a huuuuge table), and that’s where he met his future wife, whom he loudly comolimented her cooking (he’s a cook himself). There’s a lot more to his story besides this but I’ll cut it off. He’s the elven equivalent of 36, and is an incredibly strong guy, but lacks any sort of outstanding ability besides that. His personality acts as a great mediator amongst the group, and as a guiding and kind voice to all, and is very friendly towards Theorn. He’s straight. He lives in Coco, Lufen with his son and wife.

Sandra! She’s the physical incarnation of Dumb Bitch Energy (aaaa bit of a self-insert ahah). But by God is she agile and fast. She has 4 siblings (a couple are adopted) and she’s the oldest, her family owning a farm in Lufen. She used to be assigned in Gulfen to detect and neutralize landmines with her dog, until her legs got blown off along with her companion. It devastated her so much, she uses sex to cope (she’s hypersexual, but dw she is working on it). Sandra can a bit slow and dim-witted at times, but has a treasure trove of street smarts with instincts to match and is a friendly person to anyone regardless. She is on ocassion sorta oblivious to the atmosphere, which makes her make a situation worse, but if you direct her on the field, she uses her creativity to do her job efficiently. She’s bffs with Ian, often spending time with one another to the point of a qpr (queer-platonic relationship. THAT close). She’s 23. She’s bi/pan. She lives in a developing town of Lufen.

Theorn, an expert swordsman who is the only person left from the Redbeard warrior clan. He’s still using Leon’s sword, still at good shape, at the age of repulsor and stonekeeper tech (which is impractical but he’s still good fighter so they don’t stop him). He was orphaned at a young age, but developed a strong moral code regardless and became a police officer in Kanalis as a result. He got tangled in with the Auxiliary when he gets out during a lockdown (upon which all citizens goes underground for safety) to help people when the city is attacked by a rogue mountain giant, and sees Gabi slaying the thing and encountering Ian (who is in a different squad from Gabi. This is so long ok), which he is not meant to do or see, as the Auxiliary’s existence must be kept secret. He and Ian fights but they were toe to toe when it comes to close combat, they knock him out and takes him to the Hexagon (Auxiliary HQ) with the intent to wipe his memory of the event, to which he simply pleads to join, feeling he’ll be able to contribute more. Now he’s in a squad of the weirdest, egoistic people he’s met, and although looking serious, is absolutely at a loss of words at the Auxiliary’s odd happnings and morbid humor (heard soldiers develop nihilistic and fatalistic sense of humour once), but deep respect at the fights and sacrifices that they do. His lawful, goody-good personality is often at odds with the group (he’s kind of the prim and proper guy while these dudes… Can be wacky at times), to his great frustration, with Gigas the only person taking him seriously. He is at most odds with Ian (haha sexual tension everyone?) and with Gabi’s chaotic neutral/good personality. He is still good friends with them tho and cares about their sakes. Theorn is still a reliable and the most trustworthy guy of the group, and although his skills are nowhere near outstanding outside parkour, hand-to-hand combat and swordplay, he is strong, fast, and agile in his own way. He’s 24. Theorn is bi/pan.He lives in Kanalis, Windsor.

Gabi. Hot-headed, incredibly petty, batshit strong and skilled Gabi. She follows her own moral code, and is often at odds with the authority at Auxiliary and her own squad until she realizes her toxic attitude aint shit and changed. Now she’s the most serious of the group, but at least reasonable. Has a very fucked up sense of humour and hates Theorn’s personality (cop-convict anyone?), but ultimately came to resoect him for insisitng on doing good in a shitty world. Has a serious crush on a developing artist, who was pretty nice and her cheerful and lax personality helps her feel safe and comfortable, helping her develop social awareness and skills. She is in fact, not in a relationship with Sandra (not her type). Her crush used to have a crush on someone, but eventually stops and slowly has a crush on her (not that she knew. She was p much resigned to unreqruited love). But like her, her cursh has a deep set of mental issues, leading her to fall into depression and neglect, making her unable to work on her recruitment piece for Gulfen’s Institution (which offers free tuiton to its students should they oass and it’s a great school). Gabi then often breaks out of the Auxiliary without permission and during vacation months to take care of her recovery (it started when her mother beat her up in her OWN home, an small dilapilating apartment, making her feel paranoid and unsafe. It ignited old self-loathing and unwavering sadness yet again). She eventually gets better, and gets accepted, to the duo’s happiness. At a celebration party, she takes Gabi as her plus one. As they dance, Gabi finally confesses her feelings, which her crush actually reciprocates. They then starts a happy and healthy relationship. She the elven equivalent of 25. She’s a butch lesbian and lives in an unspecified part of Gulfen. Did I mention Gabilan is her pops

Ravis. He, him/they, them. They think idealistically on ocassion, even ny Theorn’s standards so the squad is kind of exasperated with him. It doesn’t help he is more naive and inexperience in comparison to them (yes, even Lemlin), with a good childhood to boot (in comparison to theirs) so it took quite a long while for them to warm up the guy. Ravis used to have a happy and healthy childhood in Lucien with his mother, and his father working abroad in Gulfen, but visits them very feequently. It all changes when the King suddenly (tw: suicide) committed suicide (?) (they never found the body), plunging the Elf nation into chaos and government shutdown affecting their lives outside Gulfen. They continue on regardless, with their mother ending up as a widow, and they studied to become one of the leading pioneers of Alchemy, under their mother’s tutelage. They then studied combat under three teachers during their teen years, and in nearing the end of their third term, theur mother is afflicted with an unprecedented terminal illness, and dies. Even though they are of age, they quietly move into the North East of Gulfen, in a remote village where they work as a healer. Needing his intelligence, the squad was sent over to recruit and escort them, in order to investigate a chemical used when an attack on the Border Guard occurs, leading to a breach and thus ending the 500 years of the Gate being infallible. They nevertheless have a compassionate and empathetic nature, driven to help others especially those in need. He is quite well-spoken and intelligent, and has good social skills. Oddly enough, he doesn’t really have friends until the squad. They’re the elven equivalent of 20, and is a certified doctor.

[kendrixtermina]

Opinion time: Lapidot is Boring

Disclaimer: This is supposed to be a subjective personal opinion, not the Divine Voice of Truth. This is just what I think and I’m aware of that. I’m not demanding that anyone change their opinion.

So: I don’t care if anyone writes in their fanfics or makes fanart about. It’s none of my business. I most certainly have no problem with wlw (I’m bi myself) and neither does this show (Ruphire, Pearl etc.)

Neither do I really share common complaints about some of the episodes (I liked that Lapis was allowed to be angsty in a non-pretty way and that everyone understood & tried to make her come around gently; Really, she’s always been the angsty one I don’t get why the fandom turned so viciously on her character as a whole)

Thing is, and again, subjective perception, (though this may be what Non-Lauren writers actually intended, a few vaguely shippy frames) I always read those relationships as platonic friendships, especially Amethyst & Peridot, who had this dynamic where Peridot, always a bit of a suckup, tries to get cool with the highest ranking gem and “hang with the cool kids”, (and Amethyst is cool af but could also really use some validation) and then they actually liked each other & had lots in common, jived with their more ‘rough/ edgy’ humor & forged an actual friendship - Like I love both characters and I liked how they became close friends, and how it added to the group dynamics that the three ‘younger’/post-war gems now have this club of their own where they can feel like they belong?

And well, Lapis & Peridot were those hilarious wacky rommates & sorta spiting the homeworld system by being two former enemies turned friends, living in peace & growing past their functions a techie & an aristocrat living together & so far it’s nice for a few gags here & there at the beginning of the episodes before the plot really starts. 

But I never really saw the appeal as a couple, though I considered that it might happen & was mostly indifferent to it, though I generally trust the writers to do whatever is best.

But with the fans being obnoxious about it, putting it everywhere & making it hard to find any Peridot fics without it that have like, character analysis, the ship wars and the behind-the scenes drama - It’s particularly the hijacking of someone’s carefully planned project that soured it for me, though I generally liked Lauren’s Episodes, at this point I’m glad that it will not actually be cannon. 

 (I frankly never saw this supposed Arc including a supposed lovers-to-friends dynamic with Amethyst and hence had no complaints, but if it was supposed to be there it was very badly handled, barely there & kind of seemed to give Amethyst’s character no agency (does she ever turn ‘Dot down formally?) and it just feels shoehoned. I just really liked the “Amethyst gets a friend who can relate to her” plot because she felt so isolated & unwanted in the early seasons, and that’s what I chose to see it as.)

But mostly, and again, subjective opinion its just not interesting.

I guess with Amedot I could maybe kind of understand as they have some commonalities & participated in each other’s character developement (still meh tho, especially to shoehorned varieties), even so I think the friendship scenario is more interesting because their arcs so far showed a lot more longing for social validation more than intimate closeness atm and already have sources of such closeness (in the family kind of sense) - like, sure, they don’t have love interests as of now, but it’s not like they absolutely need one, and if they did give them one I’d rather they did that properly in a way that adds to their characters rather than just slap  characters together for the heck of it. 

But Lapidot? Frankly, WHY? Queer relationships, yes, but why snatch those particular characters, other than that they are (or well, in Lapis’ case, were) fan favorites? 

Like, for an extreme example - Even Jaspis is more interesting. Not in the sense that I think it will happen or want it to, or remotely think that it resembles anything healthy, but precisely because of the fucked-up-ness and character contrasts involved, it really has potential in an angsty fic kind of way, in things & situations that could be explored. 

Lapidot is boring. Not that angst is necessary for a ship or that happiness & wholesomeness is bad (see Rupphire, which is consistently played for maximum wholesomeness and has this as pretty much the point of them but also has plenty of depht, history & coplimentarity) 

But, it just doesn’t seem to do anything with the characters. Why those two, what’s the selling point of the romance? What character arcs does it serve, what challenges does it lampshape, what traits do complement each other, what would attract them to each other, what relationship arcs could we do with these two together specifically?

I guess you could have them fuse to show how they overcame their bad experiences/ attitudes toward it, but they don’t need to be a couple for that and that’s not the sort of thing you wanna force or shoehorn especially if they’re sort of playing out this slow & gradual trauma recovery thing with Lapis atm. 

The thing is also that it wouldn’t fit with the general style of the show - All the relationships we see, particularly the romantic ones, are planned out from day one and slowly showed to us in tiny bits and puzzle pieces & gradual reveals, and its gradly incorporated into their character arcs. 

Like, Rebecca has repeatedly expressed a “tease everything, ship & let ship, they’re all my favs” but with the cannon ship there’s a lot of slow burn long game going on (as there is, really, with ALL plot elements)

In some stories, characters will get stuck together because “They just look cute” and that’ll work fine for those stories but this is not one where you can just shoehorn in a major ship. 

[mister-lady]

honey: what is one thing you like about yourself? mushroom: what is a quote you find comfort in? tea: how do you take your tea? cow; what is one tumblr blog you really appreciate? Tree: what is one thing in the future your looking forwards to? thread: what is a recent creative project that you are proud of? cat: are there some pets you really want? peach: what is a color that makes you smile? sheep: what is a comfort item that you own?

uh, this is a lot... oops. I was gonna make the list smaller but uh, I rlly wanna know the answers to these questions lol. you don't have to answer them all!

Shush, I love answering questions and I will gladly answer all of these ily /nm/lh/gen

Honey: what is one thing you love about yourself? I uhm,, ,well.. I like my hair a lot!!! Very floofy and it's fun to mess with or do hair ruffles or do different styles with :D!!!!

Mushroom: what is a quote you find comfort in? A lot of quotes from the incomplete/puzzle song ckfkdk. Specifically "you're lost, its okay." And "no one wants to be a joke- but a life free of jokes is incomplete!"

Tea: how do you take your tea? Ooo!!! I've been experimenting with tea!! I forgot you could add sugar and stuff to it so I thought I didn't like it but!! I mostly like it with sugar and not as much, but a little bit of creamer/milk! (I mostly use milk for tea and creamer for coffee but that's just personal preference)

Cow: what is one tumblr blog you really appreciate? Oh like I could name one!!! I like a lot of tumblr blogs but if I had to name one theres this really rad one that reblogs a lot of stuff from their special interest and sometimes little other stuff!!! An it's very pog and the person running it is super duper rad. Oh and the blog title is @remusmainblog uwo (sorry not sorry for actually tagging you here)

Tree: what is one thing in the future you're looking forward too? Well as of close future, getting these smelly tests done with. I know I keep saying that but I mean it! And as of far off future, getting a car and being gay with it so I can meet the people I'm gay and sorta gay but not gay-gay for (I dont know how to explain queer platonic)

Thread: what is a recent creative project that you're proud of? Hmm.. I don't know if I got any projects that I'm proud of, but I'm messing around with a a slightly new art style to hopefully look more realistic if that counts ^w^!!

Cat: are there some pets you really want? Uhmm,, currently nothing too crazy, but maybe a hamster or gerbil of some sort! Or hermit crabs!! Or a more simple one like a fish :D!! Or maybe a rat or mous!

Peach: what is a color that makes you smile? Hmm... a lot of colors do!! Though mostly pastel colors, or maybe yellow!! Yellow was the first color that came to my mind :D

Sheep: what is a comfort item that you own? Well normally merch products, like necklaces or shirts cuase it's easier to carry around and have on me an such! Tho I have this realllyy soft unicorn plushie that I really like and is verie nice! Also my weighted blanket is verie good!!