#and its not right whats happening to ethan

[delicatebluebirdruins]

Mia's nightmares

a/n some time working for the connections (going off the Kaitai Shinsho guide for it)

this is very self-indulgent, yes, the pictures where needed, yes, I wanted to touch on somethings but writing wise? I am rusty.

small playlist: You shine Carrie the musical; go tell aunt Rhody (both versions original and re7); I found amber run; someday and bullet proof by Godsmack (I wish I could have found acoustic versions); I’ll make it up to you by imagine dragons.

Information on how to handle missing people is really interesting and I included a bit of my research into this.

No beta reader we die like ethan must never die but a huge thank you. To @precambrian-sea-pancake for putting up with me through out all of this. I don’t have the words to describe how grateful I am for their help.

more notes in the tags

2010 March 1st Interview Day. When she went in, she was as prepared as she was going to be. The day was warm for March. The job was entry level with some traveling involved and some desk work. It would also be putting good in the world months of research told her that much... the interview went well and by the end of April she started work and for the few months she was on desk work, and it was normal. Routine. During that time fire drills were very rare and of course the outbreak drills were slightly fewer but still there and it startled them all every time. The implications behind it created a horrible combination of safety and terror that it could happen here in her place of work. After three of these outbreak drills it was decided that all desk workers got put into the combat training course for a few months after that was done, she and a few others were put into advanced combat. For the next few months, she could have sworn she was being followed but it’s a small world you're bound to run into people outside of professional (or educational) places, right? but she didn’t actually recognise the guy when she got a good look at him, it wasn’t from work she was sure of that much, but the recognition remains, and this just seemed to be deliberate...

date night few months later: she was always giddy to see Ethan and they'd been so busy of late. This time it was simple. A takeaway dinner from their favourite place and a walk in the park and they walked past the horse statue and sat next to the pond talking and keeping an eye on the bolder squirrels as they ate their food enjoying its warmth and, talking about everything and looking at the clouds shape. it was the most normal she felt in months. Neither noticed the people watching them.

2011 May after many more dates she and Ethan got married. it was joyful their friends and family there, the favourite photos of the shoot and the gift of the music box from Ethans grandmother was what made her cry. he told her about it how much it soothed him when he was younger and scared of the dark. throughout all of it they don't let go of each other’s hands. As the day slipped away the light flickered into gold and the last pictures of the day were done everyone went home and then so did, they.

2012 She was still being taught combat training and was improving with hand to hand, and her arms training was doing even better. As time went on, she was moved away from desk work and sent out and trained off site for a greater range of terrains like the beach at night (the running she had to do was killer) that specific trip took a few days to recover from. But it all meant she got stronger, and it meant less makeup and less bruises. less things to hide from Ethan (she didn't want to think of the times he grazed a bruise by accident, and she flinched. and how hurt he looked for it) considering the world she felt confident... it was only a matter of time till the next major outbreak shook the news. (And just as quickly the BSAA will take control and the information coming out will be cut off). As it was. The civil war in Edonia and rumors of something being used in combat situations. That fear was reflected on everyone she saw during those months.

Getting home and hearing the soft music playing put a smile on her face the first genuine one in months. approaching quietly, she dropped a kiss on Ethan's head as he played a song that she hadn't heard in a while. dimly remembering the lyrics, she sat next to him and sang softly "What a surprise, gazing into your eyes. I swear that I still get lost in the light. No photograph could possibly show. The you I know" and watched a smile grace his face as it always did when she joined him here, she was glad that he couldn't see her face as she remembered how that song and the story itself ended. Realising what was coming up she had an idea of what to get him.

As time went on her business trips were training of a different kind. She got sent with minimal warning (having to come up with a plausible reason for her leaving that got harder and harder) and a firm order of no personal items. So she also had to think of when to take off and stow her wedding ring she was already worried of losing it. The missions were always how to get items from a certain point to a specific destination unimportant things with different challenges thrown in to distract and horrify her. They did at first but then they didn't as much. On the occasions of people dying (both friend and enemy) her superiors always waved it off with fake blood and hired actors to play dead. That explanation worked for a while, but the nightmares and guilt remained. It wasn’t until she got told that she had completed the training and she was sent out on more serious missions. With real life and death stakes. That she had doubts about the first explanation during the training period there was no difference between the real and the faked. And she got better at seeing the potential pitfalls the traps and sometimes the violence turned her stomach, but she worked through it thinking she was working for the good guys. The trips put their own kind of strain on her relationship with Ethan because she couldn't tell him what she was transporting or anything else and seeing each other so rarely. They had more arguments then ever during this period.

Anniversary one (2012) she got Ethan a few sketchbooks as he was lamenting that he hadn’t had a chance to get any recently. It was simple but then so were they. Ethan had her grandfathers clock fixed. It was a big clock or particularly old but when she was a child she remembered Gappy winding it, remembered when the paint faded the time he spent taking care of it. Time and use had damaged it and it was not easily fixed. And she cried when she realised that she couldn’t fix it. So this meant so much to her.

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Jan 2014 was when she was approached and told she fit the criteria to be brought onto the E-000 project and the world shattered. Alan Droney (the director of the special operations division he introduced himself as) collected her and left outside the door. She went through the blood-soaked bed was out of place in the blinding white room she did not notice the black and the man crying in pain as he cradled what was left of his arm. and the child standing over him. and they all watched as the limb regrew and the sound of the sobbing and the horrible scratching of pen on paper as the stop watches they all had ticked on marking the time for this regrowth to take place, she knew these sights and sounds would follow her into sleep tonight.

snapping to attention as one of the researchers said her daughter was so powerful, wasn't she? the fanatical gleam was even more unsettling than the words somehow then the woman turned her attention turned and she approached the child. Eveline, they called her. they didn't say any names to the researchers they just referred to each other as elements on the periodic table (it felt more like an inside joke at times) the woman with the fanatical gleam was not called anything of the sort she was simply called Maică Superioară. Afterwards the researchers sat with and described what her role will be that the imprinting protocol will be started between her and Evie. With that bond Evie will trust her implicitly and listen to her the most. The pressure and the responsibility for it was immense. She would have an increase in pay. The display when she entered was part of a show. Put on to shock her. A small test for her mind. Another one when she thought about it. They mentioned briefly that there may be a time where she had to transport Evie but didn't elaborate and she wasn't given the chance to ask. Transporting a child, a bioweapon is hugely different then transporting old treasures. She hoped they would give her more training for that event. Listening to the sales pitch and thinking of all it will entail her thoughts cycled. This went from shadiness to beginning to descend into a cave from which there would be no leaving. She wasn’t sure of anything anymore like the companies’ goals anymore or their apparent desire to do good in the world.

She was lucky to get home when she did a week later as rifling through the post, she opened the plain envelope addressed to her and there were pictures of her and ethan in their house, on dates, with friends. the message was clear you are being watched and you know what will happen if he learns anything. Anything at all. She felt like an injured animal cornered by her own thoughts and his concern and love, so she walked out the door and he found her after a bit. the ticking got louder every time he asked what she was hiding from him every time he said she was lying to him... she was relieved at not having to answer as their phones rang but it wasn't over. it never was with Ethan, but he left it alone gave her space, but she could feel his eyes watching her and the feeling of being on a balancing beam that was getting more lopsided every second (she just did her best to avoid him for the next few months)

left to right: Manganese; Boron; Iridium.

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Coming back into work the next day the researchers mentioned the envelope repeating plainly to not tell anyone what she saw with Evie... she felt anxious more than she had ever been before here. There was no official paperwork to sign and there was a threat here. A threat that became all to, clear when weeks later and she and Evie were talking (all the while being watched) and being made to interact more and more when the child said, "you're nicer than the old one" and confused she looked down and the girl smiled and pointed at the wall of pictures the researchers put up (something you can see through the large window of Evie’s room) and in the middle one was of an older woman and Eveline moved her finger to another photo of a man and said that was her husband and then there was another photo of them being covered with mold. They were both turning into the monsters she was being trained to fight. the warning was clear. don't fuck this up.

Home time brought another ominous envelope feeling tense around her shoulders and neck she opened it and it was just bills. but the day was stressful and long and the tears spilled over and didn't stop until Ethan got home. he took in the situation and crouched in front of her gently taking the letter reading it and just understood it was the last straw of a long day. taking her hands and sitting next to her and just being for a bit. then they got supper ready simple and warming then went to bed.

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there were many times where she noticed how the researchers treated Evie. when she started Evie asked her many questions about her family (she mentioned bits but never any names) about the world at large she wondered why (it didn't last long) the other researchers treated her as a tool, to a certain extent Iridium and Manganese were the closest to treating her as a person, and she was never around for Evie's one on one conversations with Maică but knowing the woman she wished she was... Iridium had an ear worm and for weeks on repeat whistled the same song over and over again or worse sang it. Evie sometimes hummed (getting a smile from Iridium) along as well adding to the eeriness of the tune but she didn’t do it often. the lyrics she didn't think much of until they found her at sleep "go tell aunt Rhody old... gander is weeping because his wife is dead" always morphed into "when she’s done, he’ll be torn apart" when that happened, she always woke up always reached for Ethan before stopping as touching him would make him wake and she would have to come up with yet another lie.

She tried not to think how many have died at her own hands during the actual missions she was sent on and the people she heard die whilst she was learning about the d series (the screams and roars echoed) and what happened to them during the nights where that song was the accompaniment. Maică seemed to see her as a rival for Evie’s affections but during this training stage Mia and Evie hadn’t interacted a lot at all. And her looking in on the lessons especially about the ones that would neutralise Evie she always had a terrifying look on her face whenever she happened across these lessons. But the researchers insisted that these lessons were worst case scenario that Eveline was perfect. That there was hope for her looking at Eveline's stony expression Mia didn’t know what to say. The day after training she arrived and was going through the motions of arriving. Getting in putting her stuff in the locker assigned and wishing she had a lab coat as well because it was getting harder to explain to Ethan why she came home in different clothes that she left in. Exchanging a smile with Manganese they pushed through the door and heard the scream. A scream from Maică, and Maică was never anything but calm and distant. No one could think of a time where she had raised her voice let alone screamed. So, they all came running expecting carnage, but nothing was amiss, but Maică just seemed frustrated hugely so. Before anyone could ask anything, she knocked over a tray of syringes making them all jump and left. They didn't see her again for the next two days. Everything changed after that Maică was distant and angry and everyone who had to cross her path did so on eggshells and Evie just seemed hurt and wouldn't speak around anyone but Mia and even then, not like she used to.

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2014 Anniversary third: last years was missed entirely all money and effort were spent in mending their house that was damaged in a storm and they were just busy. But this year busy again but they did manage to get each other something needed as their originals were no longer salvageable Mia gave Ethan a new wallet and he gave her a travelling bag with little extras thrown in. His had a picture from their first date and an old penny that his mum found. It would seem silly to anyone else, but the coin is distinct and had a story behind it.

Home time was something dreaded especially on bad days with Evie. As the rates of accidental infections of the mold became unnervingly frequent. As it was not clear for her what the imprint would mean for her if she was infected... she dreaded bringing baggage home with her, she dreaded his eyes that watched her every move and the invisible axe over Ethan's head. She couldn't bear the sound of ticking now wondering how long it will be before this blew up. they started to bicker and argue. There were many times she felt the words explaining what her job entailed bubbling up and wanting to be shared with him to help them all. The threats were effective though and she felt she could deal with her problem as long as Ethan was safe. The dreams were getting worse. one night a bad one had Ethan screaming begging for something she couldn't hear, and she tried to get to him but couldn't. She was going through treacle and her hands felt sticky and wet looking down realising they were covered in blood. Ethan's blood. Waking she began to reach for Ethan but remembered the dream. She lay down again and turned away from him and waited for the morning.

She didn't want to sleep again that night. when she "woke up" Ethan had already left fixing herself a quick breakfast she noticed a piece of paper on the table and picked it and realised it was a doodle of the horse statue in the park seeing it inspired her. During her lunch break she went out and got a pad of paper and cheap colouring pencils after she smuggled those in once the days testing was done and she was certain they were not being watched. She sat with Evie, and they doodled together for the rest of the day. To start with Evie was content with just shapes and lines as any child would do but she got more confident and drew people as well. It was one of the most normal interactions Evie and Mia has ever had. After they were done Mia hid the pictures under Evie’s mattress and said goodbye to the girl. To Evie however this afternoon meant the world to her. The next few weeks after was terrible though. Manganese didn’t show up for work at all and the others seemed on edge. Mia was kept out of the loop as usual. Then one day he was brought into the lab handcuffed and bruised. Looking like he had been tortured. And shoved to the ground he faced his fate. As Maică and Boron told Evie to take control of him and she did. As they all watched he grabbed a knife and slashed himself repeatedly. All the while this was silent… Mia wanted to stop it, but she knew this mood. It had been all to frequent with Maică recently and her ire would turn on Mia herself if she said anything. It wasn’t until the next day when she heard the reasoning behind this display. He was merely suspected of giving secrets to the BSAA or someone else. They didn’t know for sure. They found something suspicious and jumped straight to executioner. It was something a long time coming.

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October 2014 you would think Maică announcing that was leaving soon would throw a spanner in everything but it stabilised things more than anything else. And considering recent events the loss of Manganese and Iridium being “fired” she felt nervous coming into work the next day. As she entered the head office area leading to the stairs Mia noticed boxes everywhere and people packing them up and moving. She was told that this part of the building was rented out to other businesses, so she thought nothing of it. Turns out they were all moving as Maică and Boron announced Evie would be moved under the care of her and Alan. they weren't told why or why there was only two of them she felt a little confident. She and Evie had a solid rapport, and she and Alan worked well together but still they’d not been in the field with just the two of them and a powerful child. If the powers that be weren't confident in her and especially Alan's (as her superior officer) abilities, they wouldn't be sent at all. Still the doubt and the dread remained. They were given a time and a place. They were to be given an envelope holding their specific orders that was not allowed to be opened until they got onto the tanker. the Annabelle... all she heard in her dreams that night was screaming.

Date night: she was nervous. Worried. She was going to tell Ethan she was leaving on a longer trip tonight and she’d noticed people following her on and off again. And she couldn’t tell who they were working for this time. She heard the rumors that the BSAA was investigating bioweapon manufacturing in the area. She had considered calling them. Many times. But anonymous or not Ethan would still be caught in the middle. Ethan would be in danger. And she couldn’t see it be more or less if she said nothing or something. Hands shaking as she applied makeup to dark circles, she considered Evie what would happen to her. Despite everything she cared for the girl. They were both monsters at this point (especially Mia herself isolating herself from her friends and to a lesser extent Ethan himself) and she wanted to scream at everyone that showed her kindness. She was not able to protect Evie from Maică and her cruel comments (she still did not know anything about the woman other than she used to see Evie as her daughter but there was more to it than that… there had to be).

Especially recent comments. Breathing in and out she finished off her makeup and wanted to get rid of the mask. All of them and a small hope that one day she could… She hoped when it came to it, she could help the BSAA and bring down the connections. Her help would be minimal she had a few names, few places but some knowledge is better than no knowledge… going that way was where madness lies. So, she put it in the overstuffed drawer of pain and horror and tried to ignore it… The café she was going to was nice and Ethan was handsome as ever. She felt like she hadn’t seen him for years so this was so nice. Especially when they left and shared headphones. Less nice was the first song that came on “Oh I'll use you as a warning sign. That if you talk enough sense, then you'll lose your mind.” The song felt very close to raw nerve endings. She was amazed that she didn’t recoil hearing that song. He took the news well as she told him on the way home and taking what felt like a risk told him a little about Evie and he was understandably very confused about the child she was also going to be looking after as well but she just told him it was her boss’s child, and the kid was going to a new boarding school in the same area as where her destination is (he was going to ask where that was but she cut him off. Taking him aback), and they didn’t want her travel on her own just yet. So, it was two birds one stone.

October 3rd Early Afternoon the group gathered together for a photo, and she felt out of place. Maică left not soon after and then they received the envelope and were sent home for last minute packing and so they did. She felt on edge and nervous as she checked her bag. Jumping when Ethan spoke from the doorway and asked (again) why she was lying to him. All she felt looking at him was a lump stopping her from speaking and the never-ending sound of ticking in her head. Even though this time she could actually be more truthful than usual. She said she wasn’t good enough for this trip. This time he only partially believed her… she could tell. In a change of pace Ethan offered to come with her and see her off at the dock. Her panic at Ethan and Evie meeting made her “no” too sharp, a tone she had never used on him, and the gutted feeling of watching Ethan flinch back from her was something she’d never forget. Picking up her wallet and ensuring her driver’s license was inside and putting it in her bag. Which she folded around and put it in the suitcase. As she did that Ethan noticed amongst her things there was nothing for a child in there. But dismissed assuming the kid would be having her own things with her. She backtracked and hoped her panic and fear was not obvious.

That he might come anyway all she said was good enough to make him stay home but not enough to wipe that wounded look off his face. And the sound of the car horn from her taxi prevented further words and there was only just enough time for her to press a kiss to his cheek. Before going outside and getting in the car. Losing sight of home and Ethan who was at the door by that point almost made her cry, but she couldn’t. At all. The last time she had really cried was getting the bills strangely putting that thought to the side she arrived at the dock and smelling the sea and the sounds of shouts and waves. Looking up at the tanker Mia felt miles away already floating in the sea. She hadn’t even left yet but she wanted to go home to talk to Ethan and be completely honest with him, but she was rooted to the ground with the fear of what could happen and of course the feeling of cold fingers on her arm and the tug on her sleeves made her look down at Evie who was looking up at her and then turned and looked at Alan who had his camera out. they stood together and she wondered if her discontent was obvious...

Getting into their quarters she eyed the open envelope that Alan had left for her to read as well. Picking it up with a sigh she began to read through it. It was not long but it still took a reread to understand their duties. She felt sick. Any confidence she had was gone. She had seen Evie take over people with her mold and how she made them act once infected and she felt nervous especially when focusing on that last point... what would make the mission that compromised? she supposed briefly that she would know what is considered to be "beyond reconciliation" when it happens but even then, she has seen Evie infect multiple people in a day, almost simultaneously. That had been her challenge the weeks after Manganese was executed infect multiple people at once. The next few nights she dreamed of screaming and blood and a horrible high-pitched giggle.

She woke up to a beautiful day and Alan and Evie weren't in their quarters... before she could worry, she noticed the note and only slightly relaxed she took the chance and went outside on deck sending a message to Ethan. Without thinking about her actions she pressed record. Something she did not usually do but considering her location and the oncoming storm she wanted it to get through. Starting off she was bright and happy how could she not? She was told her job here was almost done. The brightness dimmed a little as she caught sight of Evie and Alan, and she signed off after telling Ethan that her "babysitting" job would be over soon she brightened up again when she took the chance to say she loved him. She tried to ignore the feeling of foreboding that only got worse when she admitted her role in this was almost done to the camera just before stopping the recording.

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October 5th evening: when everything went wrong nobody else noticed (they would soon enough) to Mia it sounded like waves normal hustle and bustle the storm picking up as she passed a porthole carrying Alan. Evie’s giggle as she ran off. Trying to stem the rising panic getting to their quarters Alan pulled away and collapsed by the sofa. Coughing and weak. She sounded a lot calmer than she was feeling ignoring the panic at Alan’s infection and that she should have gone after Evie before tending to Alan. She crouched next to Alan. Stating the obvious “Alan you’re getting worse.” He admitted it was his fault Evie got out that she heard her own voice agree with him then everything rushed in and became clearer again when she promised Alan that she was not going to let him die and saw Alan reach out to her and felt the cool touch of the vial containing Evie's tissue samples with Alan saying, “you find her- you fix this”. She knew what it meant. Taking the vial, the situation was getting bad, but it could be worse. Fix this was echoing inside her head. She just had to get to Evie in time. So, turning to the door she searched for calm and finding it and the weight of her knife and handgun on her hip said with more confidence then she was feeling breathed in and said "Okay, Evie. Where are you ."

Leaving their quarters, she followed the codex to the kitchen finding the black vomit covering a good part of it cursing she reset the codex and updated Alan who stating the obvious said “this is getting out of hand” but she agreed because he was right. Going down to the bottom level fighting any molded she sees on the way. Going into the second engine room and hearing Evie’s voice from the shadows “are you mad at me mommy?” the response was automatic and truthful “no Evie I’m not mad” she wasn’t mad but as she spoke, she stuttered when the last word registered, and she felt wary and confused and wanted Evie to elaborate “wait what did you call me?” and with a pleading voice Evie continues with “I don’t want to live at the lab anymore. I want a house. And I want you to be my mommy” listening to Evie’s voice, Mia said something that she hoped would work “okay Evie I’ll be your mummy. come back with me right now.” It didn’t and Evie ran off again giggling with Mia’s over voice saying “Evie wait” as the Annabelles blaring sirens started up. Warning off the molded or the storm that was upon them? She thought. It was both. Leaving the engine room, she contacted Alan. “Did you find her?” Alan asked straight away her frustration was there “Yes but she ran off. she’s making more friends Alan; those things are everywhere.” More Coughing came from Alan. He did not sound good… he waved off her concern reminding her she has a job to do “you just worry about getting Eveline back.”

Making the trek back to their quarters to grab more ammo and check on Alan. Found Alan not there. Calling him lead nowhere there was no answer, and she left a message then she noticed the wall and the writing on it. It looked like blood all it said was “Evie’s upstairs.” Leaving going upstairs entering the corridor with Alan hunched over leaning against the wall (she only distantly noticed the open e Necrotoxin case near him). How did he get up here? She asked him that but all he said was “where’s Evie” updating him that Evie’s condition was deteriorating. All he said was “good thing I’m already dying” feeling desperate she pleads, not quite grasping how futile it was “don’t say that.”

A look comes over Alan’s face she hasn’t seen before or how to describe it really as he says "She trusts you. That little bitch, she never—” Getting up moving away from her spinning side to side looking at something she cannot see he begs “No, Evie, I—Evie—I didn't mean to call you that, Evie." Realising what was happening she spoke as clearly as possible “Alan, listen! She's trying to take control. You have to fight her”.

But it was too late, and he started to scream as the mold appeared on his body seeping through skin and clothes and vomiting it up. As he looked back up Mia turned her attention to Evie. It was instinctual to grab Alan as he was reaching forward. Her hands, on his shoulders ignoring the coldness of the mold she commanded “Eveline, stop! Stop right now!" trying to help them all. But it was too little the imprinting bond should have made this impossible and now it was too late. Alan realising, she was touching him yelled "Don't touch me!"  Pushing her as far away from him as he could but it wasn’t enough as she watched the mold consume his body and he collapsed. She saw the codex flashing red before his arm moved and Alan died. And then she saw Evie’s boots and a silhouette of arms swinging in the air before stilling as mold formed around her and Mia felt it cover her head and face screaming as the world went black… she did not know how long she was out if it all, but she became aware of her surroundings again looking down at her hands the macabre lace gloves of mold covering them. Getting up and panting watching as the mold sank into her skin. Leaving her normal hands behind. Not so normal.

Feeling Evie call for her, she began to follow it but first she noticed the bright light of the laptop. The brightest thing here. Fighting against the summons she went to it and sat down. Clenching her fist she pressed the record button, and this final message. Because one way or another she was going to die soon. She said “Ethan...” closing her eyes shaking herself. Panting as the calling became stronger, she continued “You were right. I did lie to you. I shouldn't have, but—” confirming his suspicions with that sentence and dooming him She closed her eyes again as Evie’s call was insistent “All I can say is that if you get this...” begging she said the words “Stay away. Forget that you ever knew me. Have a good life." She wanted him to live. She wanted him to move on when she was gone. Finishing the recording she stepped away from the laptop and continued on thinking she had pressed send but she hadn’t and in her desperation and Evie calling for her she didn’t think about the storm outside... Unbeknownst to Mia when she was buffeted by the wind it also hit the laptop sending it crashing to the ground and broken.

Going through the next door she caught up with Evie. Hearing the sound of running and screaming she put her arms up to defend herself as the crew member appeared and just as he was about to run into her exploded. As he did so Evie appeared and before Mia could say anything Evie promised in the most sinister voice Mia had ever heard from her “We’ll be together forever” As the siren lights flashed highlighting areas in red a blast of wind whipped down the corridor and the windows exploded. For the first time really feeling the power of the storm outside the walls of the ship broke apart. Mia felt herself slipping and grabbing for purchase but finding none found herself falling. Gripping onto an exposed pipe she looked up as if the power of her stair would keep her stable on the slippery metal, then she saw the falling bodies. As one went past, she felt it and it made her lose her grip. Looking down at the raging see she caught a glimpse of a gash on her arm but catching sight of a fire she looked up as the top exploded then she heard more closer to her. She looked up as something above her exploded and her grip was lost, and she fell. Her last look was of the ship and trying to keep afloat fighting the inevitable, but the storm was stronger, and she lost. The sea swallowed her. Fading in and out of consciousness she saw the colours of fire and the ships destruction before she lost consciousness entirely.

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Back home master bedroom 9th October 2014 A tanker ship was missing. Due to a storm. He didn’t think much of it at the time. Ethan was sitting on their flooring rummaging through papers and thought about Mia and her everything, little things like how jumpy she was how paranoid at times. And bigger things like the bruises and being vague about what she was doing. At the start she told him a lot but since the bruises started appearing. She began lying to him. And now he didn’t know what to think especially looking at the letter he was holding. The one with a threat against him. Before anything solidified in his head a loud knock sounded downstairs and opening the door, he found two men who introduced themselves as police officers asked to come in. and they talked about how in reviews of lists they found Mia’s name among the missing from the ship Annabelle. He closed his eyes as they told him they knew no more than that and left after telling him they will be back with more information when they get more for it. Few hours later a different set of police officers appeared in uniform said the same thing and Ethan didn’t say anything about the first pair. He didn’t think it was bad just poor department communication. But the look in the police officers’ eyes when he didn’t react as expected (because he already knew) was suspicious. With the same promise they left.

October 10th onwards Ethan began to look at the news slowly but surely putting information together as it became known. He looked at the list of names available Captain Ed Carlile to the Physician Gerald Waddel. He felt useless reading them. The investigators only gave him so much especially when their investigation was focused on him it was hard and relationships were damaged if not severed entirely because of it but that investigation only lasted a month and 1 week. But the damage was irreparable for everyone… he had a hard time trusting everyone in uniforms after that. It was a hard time for everyone, at the meetings of families who had also been affected by the Annabelles disappearance (people like him) he didn’t like hearing the arguments between those who thought their loved ones were dead and others thought they were alive and the amount of work they had to put in to making sure everything is safe for when… if they return. And of course, his situation and three others of being suspected of having something to do with it was still hard… in 2015 a few of the families decided to get a presumption of death certificate in March. Ethan heard their reasoning and understood why they were doing it but couldn’t take part, he and a few others still had hope. But they all went to support their friends, misery loves company and watching the argument take place was that indeed. That whilst it’s been less than a year the disappearance of a ship in a hurricane and coastal rescue teams finding nothing is good enough reason to believe they’re dead… It was not long later when Ethan and the others did the same. It was easier for them. They knew what to expect and there had been more time.

The day was warm, and the sun was shining, and he looked at the simple gravestone he and the others put together with the names that they knew. People who had families and friends. Mia Winters was towards the end. The others were obscured by flowers. He looked at his wedding band. The gleam in the sun, felt the engraving and took it off. Putting it in his pocket and going to a home that no longer felt like it.

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It was decided that they move back to the old facility. It was deemed safe. The leaks potential and actual were plugged. Going downstairs the gloved hands holding hers let go when they went through door into the room with a window. It wasn’t anything different then what she had been in before. It wasn’t until she was left alone, and the lights dimmed, she sat on the bed. Lay down on the thin mattress and heard a rustle. Getting up she reached under and found what had made the noise. Pictures of things she hadn’t seen before or heard of. She could barely make out the name on some “Eveline” and Mia was on the others. She didn’t know the names, but she knew that Eveline was her sister she wondered who Mia was (she hadn’t been introduced to her caretaker yet). Realising that made her… happy. She carefully put the papers back under mattress, the rustle meaning that she wasn’t alone. She lay down again and fell asleep. And had nice dreams for once. The girl was called Elora and she had no idea what was coming next.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris Redfield read the file that was placed on his desk, then again, the third time he was able to read what was actually on the pages outside of “Blue Umbrella”. It was all the information that Blue Umbrella had on a bioweapon manufacturing group called The Connections and they were experimenting with a special type of mold that is it. There was a suspected list of incidents possibly related to it. Including a disappearance of a tanker called the Annabelle with a list of victims one seemed familiar Mia Winters nee Thorne but the familiarity was distant and he wasn’t able to place it. (the reason why would be something he remembered a few years later)

He heard the door opening as he continued reading the last page that they request him for his experience in handling bioweapons in the field when the need arises (it was never a question of “if” always “when”). No startling when a hand landed on his shoulder how could he? It was just Jill and Carlos behind her. Coming to check on him again possibly because they heard about this file. They took a seat with him and read through it all as well. Reacting as expected to the intel provided and how little they had. They had time (a week) so they read again and contacted informants. Contacting the families of the missing people from the Annabelle was a struggle and discussed every angle there was they could in that week and in the end? Chris signed the papers and started working with Blue Umbrella.

[rafeysbafey]

✮ WE THOUGHT GHOSTFACE GOT TO YOU —ETHAN LANDRY

SUMMARY. you don’t realize how loud you were with ethan until you see the group.

WARNINGS. MDNI, smut under cut, fem!reader, dom!ethan, degrading, language, fluff, mentions of gf

WORD COUNT. 0.3k

ethan was pounding into you at a relentless pace, his hands gripping your hips painfully as his nails dug into the soft skin.

your head was thrown back against the pillow as you cried out in pleasure, his cock hitting a certain spot just right causing strings of moans to escape your lips.

“you like that, slut?” he spat, one hand leaving your waist to grab your chin and force you to look at him.

your pupils were blown and tears stained your cheeks as you stared up at him.

“you like being my little fuck toy?”

you could only nod, your mind foggy and throat scratchy from all the screaming you had done.

he didn’t seem satisfied with your answer, his thrusts stilling for a second so he could loop his hands under your legs and yank you closer to him.

his cock practically penetrated your insides, ethan bringing you impossibly closer as his tip forced its way into your cervix.

“say it,” he growled, not daring to move as you wiggled against him, desperate for some type of friction.

“p-please,” you sobbed, grabbing his hands that held your legs as you scratched at them, needing him to move.

“i’m y-your little f-fuck toy.”

a dark grin took over the boys features as he hummed in approval, eyes falling to your cunt that was practically squeezing the life out of him.

he started to rock his hips into you slowly, a satisfied moan leaving your lips as your walls clung onto him tightly.

before you could process what was happening next, he dragged his cock almost completely out of you before slamming back in, causing you to cry out in pleasure.

“gonna make you cum so hard,” he panted, leaning down to burry his face into your neck and bite gently at the skin, “you wont be able to walk for days.”

your stomach formed into the all-too-familiar knot as your walls tighten around his cock, feeling every vein and detail that decorated it.

“cum.” was the last thing you heard before your vision went dark and your body shook, toes curling against the sheets as ethan released inside of you.

you don’t know how long you were out for, but when you woke up, ethan was dressed and cleaning you up.

your legs were parted as he ran a wet wash cloth over your pussy, causing you to jolt and let out a whimper.

“n-no more,” you whispered, ethan’s dark eyes softening as he was quick to assure you.

“just cleaning you up, darling.”

you let him finish before watching him grab a pair of clean boxers and a t shirt, both belonging to him.

he came over and helped you put the boxers on, your hips raising to help him slide them on easier before he did the same with the shirt.

you let out a sigh of approval at the smell of him that lingered on the shirt, feeling immediate comfort.

“i think the others will be here any second,” he said, running a hand over your face and through your hair as you leaned into his touch.

you allowed him to help you up, your legs immediately shaking and an uncomfortable pain running down them as you whimpered softly.

“did i go too hard?” he asked, no trace of teasing in his voice as he looked at you concerned.

this was the ethan you fell in love with, the nerdy—sweet boy that you sat next to in econ in the beginning of the year.

you quickly shook your head, offering him a small smile as you assured him.

“all good,” you smiled, letting him wrap an arm around your waist and walk you out of his room.

your eyes practically fell out of your head when they landed on the group—chad, sam, tara, and quinn all scattered around the living room.

“don’t tell me-” you mumbled, cut off by tara who couldn’t help but laugh as she spoke.

“yep.”

your face flushed red as you buried it in ethan’s chest, too embarrassed to face the group at knowing they had heard you two.

although you couldn’t see, you knew ethan was wearing a shit eating grin—no embarrassment found on his features.

“trust me, it wasn’t all sunshine and butterflies for us either,” chad mumbled, the group laughing before he joked—

“we thought ghostface had got to you.”

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶

i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)

have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖

i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...

i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned

mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭

i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔

i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends

i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about

people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled

in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol

the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭

its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭

mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)

i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.

its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!

she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!

she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"

she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)

she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.

he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.

THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.

she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7

but again, those are the consequences of HER actions

her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭

their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"

its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!

you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)

everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.

obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.

the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"

she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!

just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.

im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!

im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.

i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!

i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process

talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol

i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭

its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.

all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.

i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.

also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!

thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!

[dizscreams]

ETHAN WALKING IN ON YOU CHANGING FIC !!!

LETS DO IT!!! I’m not sure if you wanted this suggestive or fluff so there’s bothhh!

Accident — Ethan Landry ★

PAIRING: Ethan x fem!reader

A/N: we loveee dizzy being in her active era!!

All Ethan was trying to do was give you back the notebook you left in his dorm when you had come over to study the other day. He didn’t know you’d be half naked when he walked in. And plus he knocked! Twice! He’s never been so embarrassed, well he has, but this felt so much worse for some reason. Maybe cause he’s liked you for so long now and he’s dreamed of seeing you like that, but on other circumstances. Circumstances where it was intentional.

“Chad, I can’t face her. This is so bad, oh my god,” Ethan’s worried voice was muffled by his hands covering his face. His roommate wasn’t doing anything to help him either, he was just laughing in his face. “Dude! It’ll be fine, don’t stress it,” Chad said while slapping Ethan’s back. Ethan shot him a glare and continued to pace the living room of the apartment you shared with Sam, Tara, and Quinn. Anika was actually trying to help him, Mindy was making fun of him just like her twin was, and Tara was trying her best to help and not laugh at the same time.

There was no way he’d be able to look you in the eyes again. What did you think of him now?? Did you think he was creepy?? A perv?? Would you yell at him when you walked back in?? Tara put a hand on Ethan’s shoulder trying to calm him down, “I’m sure it’s fine, Eth-” Ethan shook his head, “Its not! It’s so embarrassing you don’t understand- I like her a lot and I was planning to ask her out soon but there’s no chance she’d ever say yes now. Oh my god, I can’t imagine what she thinks of me right now,” he rambled while he flopped on the couch.

Ethan’s hands were on his face again and he noticed how everyone went silent. He slowly lowered his hands and looked at everyone, but they were focused on something else. He slowly followed their gazes to see you standing right there. Oh no. Did you hear that? How does everything keep getting worse?Ethan’s face turned bright red and he didn’t know what to do or what to say. After a moment of silence and way too much eye contact he spoke up, “Did you hear that?” He wanted to wince at how small and weak his voice sounded.

“Hear what?” You asked with an innocent tone and a head tilt. But you definitely knew and he knew you knew. I mean you had to. He could read you like a book. There was a mischievous glint in your eyes and a ghost of a smirk on your pretty lips, the lips he wanted to kiss so bad. After another pause of silence Chad decided to put on a movie so everyone could calm down and have a chill little movie night. Ethan was extremely thankful his roommate had a good idea for once, hoping this would take his mind off of everything that just happened.

He was talking with Anika and was starting to relax until you called for him, “Hey Eth, you wanna help me get the popcorn started?” He froze. Why? He wasn’t sure. This was normal and you didn’t seem to be upset at him or anything. This was fine, everything would be fine. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbled as he stood up. He made his way over to you in the kitchen and you smiled at him. He did his best to smile back and watched you get the popcorn bag and put it in the microwave. He looked at what you were wearing, little pajama shorts and a T-Shirt. Then he remembered what you were wearing when he walked in on you, nothing but your underwear.

He’d be lying if he said thinking about you wasn’t making him flush pink and a little hard. “Ethan?” His head snapped to look at your eyes, not realizing he had been staring at your ass the whole time. “I asked if you would get two bowls out for me? Mindy and Anika want to share and Chad and Tara are sharing. I guess you could get three if you want to share with me.” He barely registered what you had said but got three bowls out quickly, wanting to drown out the dirty thoughts he had begun to think about.

It was then he realized he hadn’t apologized for barging in your room just under 10 minutes ago. He placed the bowls on the counter and glanced at you, but you were already looking at him. He cleared his throat, “Um I’m sorry- y’know about earlier. I didn’t mean to walk in on you, I mean obviously. It was an accident, I promise,” he said quickly. You giggled at the flustered boy and he tried his best to avoid your gaze, but he couldn’t. He looked at you and the look on your face and he smiled, the blush on his cheeks not leaving.

“It’s okay, Eth. I didn’t mind,” you told him with a slight smirk. His eyebrows raised slightly and you chuckled. You leaned in and his breath hitched, he didn’t know where this was going. Your hand snaked up his chest and all the way up to cup his face. You admired him for a second before you inched closer to him, making sure nobody else would hear you, “I was kind of sad you didn’t stay,” you said quietly. He didn’t understand. “What?” He asked matching your volume.

“Well all day I’ve been thinking about you.” Your hand was now touching his biceps. “I was hoping when you walked in you would’ve stayed and helped me out, been so needy for you all day,” you confessed while looking at him with big eyes. He thought he was gonna pass out. His cock was definitely hard now, now that he knew you thought of him like he thought of you. And you wanted him, you needed him, just like how he wanted and needed you. “Fuck,” he muttered. You were so close to him and all he wanted was to fuck you against the counter or kiss you, or touch you. Just something. But there were people around.

He couldn’t give a fuck less about a movie right now or that he heard Chad asking what the fuck was taking so long, all he cared about was you. You were intoxicating. “Can we go to my dorm?” He asked you suddenly, the tension getting too much for him. Ethan searched your eyes for any signs of disgust or discomfort, but he didn’t find anything like that. Your eyes were full of lust and want, and it was for him, all for him. “Yes please,” you grabbed his hand and left the kitchen. “We’re going, don’t wait up!” You rushed out the door with Ethan stumbling behind you, a dumb smile on his face.

LMAO it turned to me wanting it to be fluffy into smth suggestive im sorry 😔 fluffy fics comin soon I sweaaarrrr and I’m tired af so this is lazy I apologize but hope you enjoy regardless!

[murdrdocs]

forced proximity with ethan? :3

stuck with you | e.landry

description. turns out, the reputation of your favorite elevator wasn't unjust, as it traps you with your mortal enemy

includes. GN! reader, making out wooo, sorta mean!reader, happygolucky!ethan (kinda), nothing too crazy

a/n: reading this, i hope you can tell that i recently watched lab rats, this was not supposed to be this long but yay !

word count: 1.6k+

The elevator in the Hopkins Building was notorious for being a little sketchy. Horror stories about the lift stalling, potentially trapping its riders within it, floated around campus, eventually making its way to your friend group.

"I swear to God, I was in there one day, just trying to go upstairs, and the fucking death contraption stops." Mindy had told each of you the exaggerated story, her hands waving around and the intonation of her voice working as if she was telling a ghost story at summer camp. Which, is mostly why you didn't believe her.

Yes, you didn't want to even think about being trapped in the older elevator, but you also didn't want to have to deal with the monstrous stairs in the Hopkins building. There were many a times where you'd almost gotten calf cramps from them, so the elevator was the better option for you. 

Unfortunately, the elevator also happened to be favored by Ethan Landry. Your (one sided) mortal enemy.

Just like any other Thursday afternoon, you wanted to use the mostly-frowned-upon elevator to go to the fifth floor, and due to its reputation you'd expected to be alone. Like you usually were. Your headphones were in, you were finishing off the last minute of one of your favorite songs, and the elevator door was sliding closed with the intention to take you to your class.

Until a white hand sticks between the metal doors, forcing them back open to reveal the brick wall of the corridor, and one flustered Ethan Landry.

"Oh," he says as he steps into the space. "Didn't know you were in here." The way he says it just oozes attitude, and yeah, you would've said the same. But it's only okay when you say it.

"No offense," he adds, as if it makes it any better.

You shrug, step over for him to press his floor, and turn your music up just a bit more.

As aforementioned, the elevator is old. It's slow. It shakes a bit. But it gets the job done. Usually.

You've spent months defending your favorite elevator. So why would it decide to slow down between the third and fourth floors? Why would the old-timey dial that shows which floor its on slow to a stop between the 'III' and 'IV'?

And worst of all, why would this happen with Ethan Landry, out of all people, standing to your left?

You can only blame it on bad luck.

"No, no, no, no." Ethan's already starting to freak out. You pull your headphones down, pausing your music, to watch Ethan frantically push the '4' button as if that would help. "Jesus, fuck, c'mon."

He starts to push the other buttons; open, close, three, two, ground. You roll your eyes, fighting off your own feelings of panic.

"The phone, Ethan."

He glances over his shoulder at you, his eyebrows furrowed before he nods. "The phone. Yeah. Right."

He reaches for the red phone, putting it to his ear and pushing the button with the firefighter helmet. You wait, playing with your fingers, twiddling your thumbs. But Ethan doesn't start speaking.

He pushes it again, waits. Nothing. He pushes it again, waits. Nothing.

"Ethan..." you start, your voice starting to sound worried.

"It's not..." He pushes it again. Nothing! Ethan slams the phone back onto the receiver, wrings his hair between his hands, and turns to face you. "It won't work."

It won't work. What are the fucking odds.

"So we're trapped in an elevator that doesn't have a working phone?" You know the situation is quite clear, but you're still asking for clarification.

Ethan nods.

"Fuck!"

You and Ethan tried ringing the alarm, but there wasn't another sound on the other side. You didn't even know if the alarm worked.

You knew the elevator was old, but you didn't know it was this old. Taking a look at the certification on the wall, you notice for the first time that the elevator wasn't serviced or checked in ten years. Ten.

"When we make it out of here, I'm suing Blackmore for all it's worth," you tell Ethan.

He snorts, and the sound shockingly isn't annoying to you. "Let me in on the case?"

You turn your head, hair sliding along the metal wall when you face him head on. "As long as our cut is equal."

"Deal."

It's silent for a few seconds. Ethan speaks first.

"Do you have any service?" You pull your phone out from your sweatshirt pocket, seeing that there was nothing but three dots in the top corner of your phone.

"Nope. You?"

Ethan shakes his head without checking his phone. "Nope. Plus my phone's on 10 percent."

"Who doesn't charge their phone before class?"

He shrugs, avoiding your eye as his ears turn a light hue of pink. "I was watching a 5 hour video essay about Victorious and fell asleep without plugging my phone in."

That makes you laugh. Maybe because the proximity, maybe because that's something you could see him doing, or maybe it's just because you like Ethan Landry more than you would admit without the circumstances.

"Was it a good video at least?"

"I wouldn't know. Fell asleep within the first 10 minutes."

It's weird how well conversation flows between you and Ethan when you're not holding onto a randomly formed grudge against him.

Topics switch at the drop of a hat, caused by a word or something brought up in a previous sentence. You find yourself smiling, cracking jokes, genuinely interested in the things that Ethan has to say. And you also find yourself sitting closer and closer to him, both of you sitting with your legs crossed, the proximity causing your knees to bump into each other occasionally.

The touch is nice. You don't mind it.

"You know," Ethan starts. You hum, turning to look at him. "Up until today I thought you hated me."

You hold in a laugh. "Well, that's because I do. I did."

His eyes widen a bit, a halfhearted smile threatening to stretch across the expanse of his pink lips. You find yourself staring at them, having to blink twice to bring yourself back.

"I knew it!" He seems overjoyed, as if he just discovered a 200 year old treasure and not that a member of his friend group has hated him for practically no reason.

"I wasn't really attempting to be discreet about it."

"Still, I thought maybe it was just me. The others said that's just how you were," nice that they would lie for you, "so I thought I was going crazy."

A beat where you're noticing how nice Ethan's lips are.

"Did I ... do something wrong? Something for you to hate me?"

They're so pink, and unexpectedly plump for him to be a White boy.

"Uh ... no."

What would it feel like to kiss them? Does he even know how to kiss?

"Then why did you treat me like that?"

Fuck it. Never know until you try.

You're pushing yourself forward, hands landing on his shoulders to keep yourself steady while you push your lips to his. It's chaste, nothing short of a longer, closed-mouthed peck. And as you're pulling away, you think about how stiff he was and how you should've asked first.

"Sorry," you're immediately apologizing, scooting a few inches away from him. "I should've asked first. I'm sorry."

You watch his reaction, watching how stoic he is, his lips still parted and his eyes unblinking.

You stand to your feet, just to do something other than sit there, and decide to walk over to the phone. You knew that it didn't work, but it's better than sitting there in an awkward silence that existed because of you.

You pull the phone off of its receiver, putting it to your ear, and immediately hear a dial tone. Your eyebrows furrow, your finger reaches out to press the firefighter button.

It rings, and rings. You wait, and wait.

"Hello?"

"Holy shit. Ethan, it's working!"

You hear shuffling, then you see Ethan's body from your peripheral. You talk to the firefighter, telling him about how you and Ethan had been stuck in the elevator in Hopkins Building for the past half hour, and a sigh of relief leaves your body when he tells you that someone will be out to help in the next 15 to 20 minutes.

The receiver is back where it belongs, you have a new sense of hope and happiness, and you turn to face Ethan with a smile on your face.

Before you can even truly realize it, his hands are on your cheeks and his lips are pushed to yours.

The time, he kisses you. It's soft, slow, gentle, a little shaky, but it's a solid kiss.

With his hands holding your cheeks, and his large body crowding your frame, you melt into the kiss. There's not a single thought, even a slither, of resentment towards Ethan. In fact, the only thought you have in your head is Ethan.

How his smell is just right, musky, sweet, a hint of something strong that soothes you. How his hands are oddly soft. How the heat from his body is comforting. How good it feels to kiss him.

However, you can't continuously kiss Ethan without needing a little more oxygen, so you eventually pull back.

Ethan looks a little shocked when you do, his hands reluctantly dropping from your face but you watch his fingers twitch as if he wants to be touching you again.

"Um..." he starts. You look up at him with bright eyes. "Would you wanna go on a date sometime?"

God bless the sketchy elevator in Hopkins Building.

[no-droids]

Another Rough Day

gif credit @chrishemsworht

Part Twenty of the Rough Day Series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 13.7K

Warnings: Angst, violence, canon-typical blood and gore, language, hurt/comfort

A/N: i wanna thank yall for sticking around during my hermit era, in the time ive been gone i am now officially a junior at a university majoring in aerospace and it’s a fuckin nightmare and i hate everything and god help us all literally kill me and I will be posting INCREDIBLY slowly because of that (I’m talkin weeks or months in between updates yall, im sorry I can’t dedicate more time to this but I am going to finish this fic within the next handful of chapters idk maybe 5 or 6 so you shouldn’t have to wait too too long).  As a heads up there will be hard angst as we enter the final arc, there will be hurt and it’ll get dark but everything is gonna turn out alright so thanks for sticking with me and continuing to stick with me. im sorry if you dont like it or your expectations were subverted or if this isn’t what you’d hoped it would be after following and waiting around for so long but this was planned a long time ago and it took me a good year or two to recognize that I started writing this fic for me and now I’m going to end it writing for me and I hope yall can respect that

ALSO I asked my best BEST FRIEND in the entire world @cptnbvcks to collaborate with me for this after we both took a very long break from creating and she drew some GORGEOUS artwork for this chapter so it will be posted at the end, everyone please go follow her and say hello

ps brittany girl you’re a fuckin menace i had to use my own two ears and listen to ethan literally say the words “the mandalorian cums, hard” what the fuck was that im actually suing

anyways chapter below the cut lets get serious yall

---

You take two of them down before they even realize they’re being attacked.

Your aim is as swift and steady as if Din were behind your shoulder right now, calmly pointing out which stationary tree to hit next in rapid succession.  You’re positioned perfectly at the bottom of the ramp to take full advantage of the ambush, the only thing running through your mind is strategy and the constant calculating of angles and ricochets.  The other three troopers are trapped inside the open Crest and you’re right next to a large boulder that you can step behind for cover, but it proves unnecessary as the rumors were apparently true.

They’re… awful.

Not a single blaster is even fired in your direction—you think you see maybe one panicked red shot bounce around in the hull, but that’s it.  The troopers fumble for their guns and trip over each other at the unexpected attack—a few scream like children through the modulators, but you’re temporarily deaf to anything besides the screech of your weapon hitting its target and the crumpling of armored bodies.

Later on, if someone were to ask you to describe exactly what happened—who died first, who ran for cover, who cried out for help—you don’t think you’d be able to.  You don’t even really feel like a person right now.  The entire thing is cold, robotic survival instinct, pure ruthlessness rising in your soul for the first time in your life.  It feels sick.  Wrong in your bones.  Born from preemptive defense in fear of your life, but that doesn’t mean you stop.  Not until all of them stop moving.

You empty the entire fucking canister for a handful of stormtroopers, firing plasma and char marks across every square inch of the pristine hull even after the last one drops.  Your heart is beating too fast, your finger keeps pulling the trigger multiple times even after the blaster clicks uselessly, completely empty and beeping a warning that it must’ve begun emitting ages ago.  Being out of ammo scares you—you suddenly feel vulnerable, even though the very far away logical part of your mind reminds you that they have to all be dead at this point and no physical threat was ever able to graze you.

Regardless, you quickly spin behind the boulder and grab another canister from your belt, giving it a spare check for leaks while the empty one slides and drops to the rocky ground.  It’s the first time you’ve ever had to reload this weapon instead of just pointing and shooting, but the mechanics are relatively simple and your brain makes up for your lack of coherent thoughts with lightning fast perception.  What's difficult is that your hands are starting to shake now that you’re not aiming, you’re not breathing correctly because you’re not really breathing at all.  You can’t tell the difference between the adrenaline-fueled dissociative silence that muffles everything around you or if it really is just that quiet now.  No more clatter of armor, no modulated voices or terrified screams.  No blasters, no footsteps along the ramp, no birds singing.

You quickly pause to lift your elbow and check the enormous eyes blinking up at you, tiny claws still holding tight to the fabric of your tunic and completely unharmed, and then you force yourself to move.  The blaster is held out in front of you while you walk forward and your finger rests on the trigger, begging to be pulled again.  It’s suspenseful and terrifying in a different way than before—now it’s less about psyching yourself up for confrontation and more about the fact that any sudden movement could mean your very swift end.

Silence.  Silence.  You’re numb and raw at the same time, walking up the ramp as your eyes fly everywhere, not even registering the blood or gore, just searching for movement.  You don’t know if you feel like a predator or prey, you’re that much more brutal and inhuman because of how fucking terrified you are.  You count four stormtroopers in the hull laying crumpled and still on the metal floor, but the one in the far corner only has blood on his shoulder.  You quickly swing the blaster around to remedy that, but then—

“P-Please don’t kill me!”

His words remind you of something.  Reality, maybe.  A world outside yourself and the kid’s survival, the living beings behind the bloody armor your enemies wear.

It’s a miracle your finger stays hovering over the trigger, and you watch him throw the blaster at your feet with a clang and scramble to show you his empty hands.  “Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me—I’m not loyal to the Empire, I don’t want to be here, please, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die—”

Behind the mask, your expression furrows.  Stormtroopers are loyal to the bitter end, what is he saying?  They embrace their expendiality, it’s the only thing that makes them any sort of a real threat.  Kuiil told you horror stories about them during your childhood, the cloning facilities and the propaganda they’re force fed since infancy.  It’s nearly impossible to find one who hasn’t been raised from birth to serve the Empire, no matter how crumbled and trace its remaining authority may be.

No, this is a trap, it has to be.  Your expression twists with dread after hearing him speak, readjusting your aim with the blaster and preparing yourself for the years of nightmares that’ll follow—but then he cries out, “Wait!” and then removes his helmet with trembling hands.

You pause, staring down at him in shock.

It’s him, you recognize him immediately.  It’s the same face from a hologram puck you bore into your memory, spent multiple days staring at so you’d be able to spot him under any disguise or circumstances.  Oshua Ryler.  Your quarry, the fifth puck, the one Din was out Maker knows where searching for before this entire mess happened.  A stormtrooper?  His puck said nothing about the Empire, this doesn’t make any sense.  What is he doing here?  Stormtroopers don’t have pucks, they don’t have bounties or relatives or loved ones searching for them.  They’re brainwashed, replaceable, faceless soldiers in suits of armor and they don’t even have names.

“Please don’t kill me,” he begs again, staring at you with wide eyes even as he cowers.  “I have a family, I-I just want to go home, please—”

“Shut up.”  You can’t think straight with him crying like that and you’re wasting so much time just standing here trying to process when your brain had to literally shut itself down to even do the things you’ve already done.  You have to kill him and escape, you have to—you can’t trust this complication, not with the tiny claws currently digging into your back and reminding you of your purpose, but it was so much easier when he had on a helmet.  You hate looking at his face.  It’s going to haunt your dreams now, just like the man you stabbed on Corellia.

“Please don’t kill me—please don’t kill me,” he screws his eyes up and breathes over and over instead, and your stomach wrenches with disgust.  His posture and expression are so fucking pitiful, you can barely keep your eyes on him through the overwhelming nausea and aversion that climbs up your throat.  He’s with the Empire, and they’re looking for the baby.  You know what needs to be done.  Pull the trigger, just one small movement from you and it’ll be all over.  It would be the easiest thing in the world, it would be so easy.

But then instead, you ask, “Why are you a stormtrooper?”

“I’m n-not—I hate the Empire—”

“The Empire is ashes.”  You don’t know if you’re yelling or whispering with how much blood is roaring through your ears.  “They hold no power anymore.  Why are you with them?”

“Because the one thing they have left is money!”  The quarry shrills the words at you, ghostly pale to the point of turning green.  “Th-They buy troopers now—they opened up a whole new market for the smugglers, there’s a base nearby that’s used for training and…”  He stares wide eyed at you and gulps.  “C-Conditioning.”

Your brain is already going a trillion lightyears an hour and it doesn’t have the capacity to empathize or understand anything beyond the child’s survival and the relevant details right now.  “Were they expecting the baby?”

“W-What?”  He squeaks up at you.

“Was the bounty put out on you a trap set by the Empire?”  You ask him, lifting your free arm just enough to flash him the tiny child clinging to your side.  “He said they’re coming after the baby, so tell me if this was planned from the beginning.”

“Who is ‘he’?”  The stormtrooper asks, furrowing his eyebrows and looking around.  “What are you talki—”

“Tell me if the bounty on you was a trap to take this baby!”  You roar, your blaster shaking as you aim it down at him.  Your mind is acutely focused on the tiny claws hanging onto your tunic, the continued safety of the kid and the life or death situation facing him that you were given absolutely no information about.  “Now—”

“If it was I didn’t know!”  He quickly cries out, pleading with you and clamping his eyes shut in terror under the barrel sight.  “I don’t know anything about a b-baby, or a bounty!  They just put blasters in our hands and told us to search for a ship and to bring back anyone we find alive, I swear!”

You’re silent for a moment, biting your lip under the mask and caught halfway between discerning and stalling.  You could still kill him.  You should still kill him, time is ticking down and more troopers could be heading this way any second.

Shit.  “Who put the bounty out on you?”  You ask sharply.  It might not be a completely fair question, but he can’t exactly blame you for not feeling completely fair right now.

“I—I don’t know,” he gasps, clutching his bleeding shoulder.  “Could’ve been anyone—my mother, Cyra, o-or my dad, Obediah, or Thia, or Benja, or S—”

“Thia,” you interrupt his rambling, catching the slurred word and repeating it back to him.

“Yes!”  Oshua jerks his head up, tears and hope immediately filling his eyes at the sound of her name, “Yes, Thiadura Celi Ryler, that’s my sister!”

Maker, if he’s lying, then he’s fucking brilliant at it.  You look towards the cockpit of the ship, biting your lip under the mask.  Get to Nevarro, tell Karga and he’ll… something.  Din was cut off before he finished.  Help?  Know what to do?  You’re lost, but you have a clear directive and the precious seconds are sliding by.  The controls are right up there, two steps to the ladder and less than a minute until you’re rising into the atmosphere.

But then you think back to the terror in Din’s voice.  The blistering panic that made him speak faster and with more urgency than you’ve ever heard from him.  Get to Nevarro.  Tell Karga.  Get to Nevarro.  Tell Karga.

You look back at the quarry.  “How many of you are there?”

“At the base?  Around three hundred,” he immediately spills.  “Half of us are in the hole right now getting brainwashed, they do it in shifts, but they can be mobilized in a few hours.  There were a lot of bodies outside when we were ordered to split off, maybe a third of our squadron, but the rest were still shooting at whatever was—”

“So around a hundred left,”  You finish breathlessly, almost wanting him to speak faster and cut to the chase so you can calculate quicker.  “How many were dispatched on the search?”

“Uh, there were eight groups of five sent in each major direction,” he informs you, still trembling on the ground.  “Told us not to come back until we covered the entire sector.”

Of which, four you’ve already taken care of.  In other circumstances, you’d be nauseated at the thought, but right now, it’s just another number to subtract, just more panicked math in Din’s frightening absence.  That leaves at least sixty troopers left wherever the base is, minimum, and likely a couple more hours before they’ve combed the sector.  If this wasn’t a preconceived trap purposefully set for the kid, then that means reinforcements haven’t arrived yet but likely will soon.  And if this is a base meant for training and conditioning, then that also means there’s a chance not all of them will be loyal yet.

You make the decision immediately.

“Okay,” you announce, clicking the blaster’s safety switch and holstering it, sounding lightyears more certain than you feel.  “Then you’re going to help me carry out a rescue mission, and I’ll take you back to your sister.”

“You…”  He looks uncertain, blinking at your blaster and slowly lowering his hands.  “You want to rescue the men?”

Ideally?  Sure.  Realistically?  You don’t say anything in response.  Instead, you kick his regulation firearm at your feet further away from the quarry just in case your judgment is flawed, and then turn around and grab one of the bodies behind you.

Your adrenaline is still blaring so fast that you only just barely note the severity of what you’ve just done and what you’re continuing to do.  The corpses aren’t real to you right now, they’re inanimate things that you need out of your ship before you can close the doors to it.  They are, however, heavy as fuck, but the only other adult here has a wound in his arm from the gun on your hip.  Regardless, you have experience with lifting dead weight without a big, strong, capable man to do it for you.

“Help me out here, kid,” you mutter over your shoulder, and in response, you feel his claws dig in and climb up just a little bit until he can peek out in front of you.  Thankfully, the burden is suddenly lifted and you can quickly slide the dead troopers down the ramp with ease.  It takes hardly any time at all—you just yank and haul and release and all four of them tumble the rest of the way all by themselves.

When you stand back up, Oshua hasn’t moved and he’s looking at you with a pale, queasy expression.  Glancing down, you see that your white robe is now stained with streaks and patches of rusty blood.  Instead of swallowing back bile at the sight and bolting to the shower to scrub off every last remaining trace, you breeze past it, noting nothing more than a change of color.  Dirtying your white, pristine clothing with the consequences of protecting this baby—you’d rather have blood-soaked fabric with an unharmed kid clinging to you than any other combination of those things.

“Can you make it up to the cockpit?”  You ask the quarry, kicking his rifle off the ship before closing the ramp and then gesturing up the ladder.  Your voice is calm and steady but your hands are beginning to shake again.  “I need as much information as possible about the base.”  You know that’s where Din is, judging from the wall of blaster screeches that drowned him out through the comm.  Logically, you know you could be headed right into a trap, and every instinct inside you wants to find safety, but… you just cannot imagine flying the ship away from this planet without Din onboard.  It isn’t fucking happening, you’ve made your choice.

Without waiting for a response, you climb the ladder and plop down in the pilot’s seat of the Crest.  While Oshua finds some way to clamber up the steps behind you in bulky stormtrooper armor with one good arm, you hold the kid closer on your lap and begin flight checking.  Din will be fucking furious, but the scolding you’ll be sure to get is the least of your worries right now.  Following his instructions and going back to Nevarro is just making shit infinitely more dangerous for him, turning what could be a potential rescue mission into an undeniable suicide mission.  Even if Karga somehow decides to send a few guild members along to infiltrate the base, it’ll be a war you want to avoid.

Besides.  What did you always tell him about running away from him, even when he instructs you to?

It’s just… not really your thing.

---

They’re everywhere.

They crawl like flies out of the base, and for every single body that falls, three more spill from the open doors.  Rapid fire plasma beams launch from the end of Din’s blaster, melting white armor with every twitch of his gloved finger.  Their aim is terrible, as is to be expected, but the sheer number of them more than makes up for it, as is by design.

Din’s heart pounds with exertion, his breath comes in ragged huffs through the modulator as his helmet identifies and isolates which body is closest to him, which body he needs to bring down next.  His blaster is so hot it nearly burns his hand, even through the thick gloves he wears.  When he runs out of ammo, he holsters the pistol and swings his rifle from around his shoulder, spinning to catch a handful of troopers behind him in the obliterating blast.

He’s not thinking much.  He can’t think, even though your safety and that of his son is currently dangling by a thread.  If he focuses on that, he’ll be dead before he can even picture your faces.  He just reacts, he maims and kills without a single thought in his mind.  Blood splatters, screams and sirens blare as he becomes surrounded by more and more troopers.  Din can hear the sound of plasma colliding and ricocheting off his armor; every single one of them is a potential injury he could currently have but might not even be able to feel right now.

His helmet starts beeping rapidly and he turns just enough to see, highlighted in bright red on the screen, two enormous artillery turrets slowly rising up out of the roof of the imperial base.  He feels a fierce flash of anger burn in his chest, it’s like a lightning strike to his veins.

Din needs to go.

And yet… if he was another man.  If he wasn’t a father, or a husband, if he had no family and no attachments like the creed declared he should, he would go.  With just a twitch of his fingers, he could be launching into the sky and retreating as far away from this battlefield as he could reasonably get.  He’s never been the type to run from a threat, but this isn’t just a threat.  Dozens of troopers are gaining on him, they’re trampling their own dead to get within range.  Plasma pings off his shoulder, another one hits his back as they flank from behind.  He can feel the heat through the sizzling beskar, he can see them surrounding him on all sides, and the propulsion trigger for his jetpack is right there under his wrist.

Din holds his ground and continues firing, he plants his feet firmly to the dirt with only one thought in his mind.

Run, sweet girl.  Run.

---

You type in commands to scan for Din’s signal, quickly locating it through the Crest’s computer onboard.  Not far from here, three minutes or less.  The ship rumbles to life beneath you, slowly lifting off the rocky ground and rotating in place as it hovers.  It’s not on autopilot but you feel like you are, you can barely feel your hands as they move the yoke forward and the Crest takes off in the direction of Din’s blinking frequency.

“Tell me about defenses,” you instruct Oshua, restlessly bouncing your leg while the baby coos.

“Two plasma turrets on top of the base,” the quarry quickly answers.  “There’s usually guards stationed around the perimeter, but everyone who’s capable will be outside right now.”

Your mouth twists downwards under the mask.  Blasters don’t scare you much from this high up, but Din’s armor doesn’t cover every inch of his body, he’s not completely invincible.  Doubt churns in your stomach, but you have to stay focused on one task at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed.  The turrets, then.  “Are they automatic?”

“Manual,” he corrects with a shake of his head.

“Radar?”

“Old.  Only engages above fifty meters.”

You eye your altitude and dip the Crest considerably, beginning to weave through the rocky canyons and dodging crumbling cliffs while you travel.  “What about ships?”

“None,” Oshua says, “except for a passenger shuttle used for transport.  TIEs are flown in the Vesta sector, this base is remote and used for basic training only.”

“Anything else?”  You ask, stomach twisting with the knowledge that barely four questions is all you’ve got.  You’re planning to drop into an imperial base to save the man you love and you can’t think of a single other question?  

The quarry shrugs, and your heart slams, does somersaults in your chest at the mere notion that you could fucking die here.  Today, in two minutes or less, you could die here.  The child in your lap looking over the ship’s front panel with a quiet determination in his eyes could die here.  Din could already be dead—that signal broadcasts his location to this computer regardless of whether he’s still breathing or not.  He could already be gone and you’d be flying the baby right into a trap without knowing any differently.

Whelp, you think while taking a deep breath, some strangely calm existential acceptance beginning to flood your soul.  If he isn’t dead, he will be soon if you don’t make it to him on time.

You immediately lift your wrist and speak into the communicator.  “Mando?”  You have no idea if he can hear you, but you need to try anyway.  Your voice is still firm, there’s a strength to it you don’t feel in your chest, but it certainly sounds convincing.  “I’m coming to get you.  Less than a minute to your location, do everything you can to get outside.  If you can’t, I’ll just… uh.  Try to figure something else out.”

That’s it.  That’s it, improvise until you don’t have to.  Even if you’re lacking confidence, you can at least scrounge up some conviction.  Your arms gain feeling again while you veer the Crest through the stony terrain, the familiar reverberations under your feet begin to fill your body with a powerful sense of purpose.  Your breaths begin to come steady, every falling rock you see through the transparisteel feels like it drops in slow motion, allowing you to evade them easily.  It would normally be stupidly dangerous to fly this low with so many unexpected obstacles and hazards narrowly missing the ship, but considering what you’re flying into, a few boulders seems comical.

“Where’s your helmet?”  Oshua asks out of nowhere, and for a second, you don’t think you heard him correctly.

But then it strikes you all at once what he’s attempting to imply, and the sheer lunacy of the thought is enough to make you laugh while you clutch the controls.  “I’m not a Mandalorian.”

“You wear the armor of one,” he points out… rather fairly, you have to admit.  “You cover your face like one.  You have a blaster that fires Philithiorium, a rare and expensive gas native to Mandalore’s stratosphere, and you’re a bounty hunter—”

“I’m not a Mandalorian.”  Your words are short and cutting, you have a daunting task to focus on and don’t feel like having small talk right now.  “I’m not a bounty hunter, either.”

But then again, Karga made you a member of the Guild, didn’t he?  He handed you Oshua’s puck and said this one is for you to find, and you are technically part of a Mandalorian clan.  All of this seems like it happened without your knowledge.  You may be marrying a Mandalorian, you may wear his armor and mother his child and shoot a blaster with his signet branded into it, but war isn’t in your blood.  This robe was a costume when you first made it, this armor was a relic that was restored as a hobby.  In a sense, it still feels that way.  The mask covering your face lended itself to a temporary surge of bravery earlier, but beyond that, the only thing that’s keeping you moving forward now is your family.  The man you love that may or may not be alive right now, the baby holding tight to your leg while the ship sways and weaves through the stony landscape.

Your eyes quickly flick down to the child in your lap, both of his three fingered hands clutching onto the stained fabric of your knee without moving a single inch.  He’d know, you tell yourself.  If his father is gone, he’d already know somehow.  Din is still alive, and he’s counting on you.

---

There’s too many for Din to handle.

They swarmed him, overpowered his endless artillery with massive numbers and there’s nothing he can do anymore.  The backs of his knees are kicked from behind and he slams down to the ground with a clatter, his sizzling hot blasters are ripped from him, and Din folds his hands calmly behind his back even as one of the stormtroopers barks out, “Binders,” to another one, who disappears quickly in response.  In the meantime, a few of them apparently decide to just attempt holding his arms in place, and their measly combined grip is almost enough to make him roll his eyes under the helmet.  These imperial soldiers are even more pitiful than they usually are, but his silent resolve to stall to ensure your escape is enough to keep him stationary and compliant for the time being.

Eventually, a few voices call out from beyond the crowd and there’s some movement from the back.  Dozens of troopers with their blasters all pointed at him begin to shuffle to make way, careful to keep their barrels aimed at him while a path slowly forms.  The crowd of white parts and a stormtrooper with a singular red pauldron on his right shoulder saunters confidently towards Din as he kneels on the ground.

An officer, he assumes.  Conveniently missing from the firefight, the scanner inside his helmet would’ve caught the change in color and Din would’ve made sure to kill him first.

“Well now, what do we have here?”  Comes his thin metallic voice through the tinny filter.  The officer studies him curiously for a few moments, before slowly looking down by his feet, reaching out one cheap, plastic covered foot to gently nudge the body of a dead trooper on the ground with a sigh.  “What a shame.”

Coward, he thinks, his lip curling with disgust under the helmet.

“This is an imperial training base,” he turns his attention back to Din to inform him when he doesn’t immediately respond, rather stupidly he might add.  “How were you able to find us?”

Silence.  The grip on hands held behind his back is even looser now.  He just tilts his chin up slightly in defiance, the scanner inside his helmet locating each weapon strapped to the man’s body and highlighting it red.  Small text boxes blink into existence under each one with a manufacturer and classification—a BlasTech E-11 rifle, a Merr-Sonn thermal detonator, a Kolvo vibroblade—and Din is severely unimpressed with the quality.  The detonator is the only weapon that even catches his eye, and that’s only because the chamber inside that houses the explosive baradium has a release mechanism that’s completely dead.  Useless, then.  Good to know.

After a long moment of quiet tension where Din refuses to speak and the officer continues to confidently scrutinize him, in some strange sort of silent battle of egos that only one seems to have a genuine interest in, another stormtrooper makes his way to the front, shoving past his fellow soldiers to address the superior in charge.

“Commander, we’ve sent out an alert for an intruder,” he tells him, slightly out of breath from running through the crowd in the lightweight armor.  Din wants to roll his eyes, but what he says next makes him snap to immediate attention.  “The fleet informed us that Moff Gideon is currently on route.”

Gideon.  The last time someone spoke that name, it was a quarry on Coruscant and you just barely managed to stop Din from suffocating the bastard for even saying it aloud before freezing him in carbonite.  It would’ve meant half the return on a hunt that lasted nearly a month but he saw red and his hand was crushing his windpipe before he realized what happened.  But he’s dead, Din thinks with a clenched jaw and fists tightening behind his back, he watched that TIE fighter explode and slam into the ground, crushing the man inside it.  The wreck was unsurvivable, he can’t be alive.

“For what?  This Mandalorian?”  The trooper in charge scoffs in response, and Din remains completely mute.

“Yes, sir,” the other one confirms.  “Orders were to capture him, alive.”

“Hm.”  The officer turns his attention back to him, less analyzing and more musing while he tilts his head.  “I see,” he eventually says, and he sounds like he’s grinning, before strolling slightly closer as Din stays completely still on his knees.  “He must want the beskar.  I’m sure it’s worth more than this entire battalion combined.”

All of a sudden, a gloved hand carelessly catches the rim of his helmet and tugs, and Din’s movement is explosive.  He launches off the ground, arms easily slipping from the pathetic grip they were being held in and his fist colliding with the side of the officer’s flimsy white helmet, the plastic making a deafening crack against his face.

Multiple hands immediately rush forward to grab him and yank him back down again while the commanding trooper stumbles backwards in shock, and Din amicably drops to his knees and folds his hands behind his back once more like nothing happened at all.

“Binders!”  A trooper behind him roars loudly once more, and a few men surrounding him begin trotting away this time.

The officer in red stands a few feet away from him now, grabbing his helmet and twisting it back to its proper position on his head where it was skewed.  There’s a shattered hole near his jaw where the material splintered and busted like the cheap piece of banthashit it is, and while he might normally feel pleased with himself for being able to see his skin peeking through, it just fills him with more righteous fury.  It’s such a punchable jaw.

After a few awkward moments of silence, the other one clears his throat and continues.  “He… has inquired about the location and status of a child that should be accompanying him.”

Din inhales deeply through his nose and grinds his teeth.  He wants to snap their necks one by one for even just mentioning his son, but there are just too many, more than even his whistling birds can neutralize.  Still, he gave you as much of a head start as physically possible.  You should be rising into the atmosphere right now, making the jump into hyperspace towards safety.  Karga will know what to do—he’ll protect his family, separate you and the boy so the threat is evenly dispersed instead of collected all in one place, and arm dozens of trained hunters to keep watch over you both individually.  It’s the best Din can do, and it’s the only thing keeping his knees planted on the ground and his body completely motionless while they continue speaking.

“We are combing the sector for a ship with as many men as we can afford to lose,” the trooper in red says, but his voice filter is shattered and now sounds like a puny little droid with a broken voice box, “but our numbers are unimpressive.  Assistance may be required.”

It’s too late, Din thinks, mouth twitching under the beskar with a satisfied smirk.  They’re wasting their time, looking for a ghost.  You’re both long gone by now.  They’ve got no idea you even exist—

“He also spoke of a girl.”

And then he feels his heart stop in his chest.  Every single cell in his body turns to fire, it’s a fucking miracle he doesn’t move a muscle in response.  His sweet girl, the one so far removed from the nightmare of the Empire that she made best friends with the orphans of it.  How the fuck did he know?  He shouldn’t even be breathing, let alone gathering information about you, how did he know?

But then Din thinks back, remembering your makeshift bed on the floor, your panicked eyes and heaving chest as the quarry taunted him with a sick little smile.  Who’s this, Mando?  She’s just darling, isn’t she?  Does Gideon know your crew has a lovely new addition?

“A girl?”

The trooper nods.  “Moff Gideon insisted that if the Mandalorian did not have a child with him, then a girl would likely be protecting him instead.”

He’s going to kill them, Din decides.  Every single one of these imperial pigs, every single soldier standing right now is a dead fucking man.  The blood pumping through his body suddenly turns to acid, deadly black hate poisoning his soul.  His heartbeat morphs into a war drum, the armor strapped to his limbs is the barrel of a gun.  He’s going to fucking kill them and leave an imperial base full of bodies to greet his old nemesis upon his return, and he’s going to enjoy every single second of it.

Except, then—

“Mando?”  The sweetest voice in existence suddenly crackles through the earpiece under his helmet.  “I’m coming to get you.  Less than a minute to your location, do everything you can to get outside.  If you can’t, I’ll just… uh.  Figure something else out.”

And, as Din kneels there in surrender, surrounded by a crowd of enemies he thought he destroyed long ago, all the anger—all the fury and defiance and murder surging through his veins—suddenly morphs to fear.

The emotion is so foreign and old to him, it feels like a face he barely recognizes and a name he can’t remember.  He’s panicked before.  He’s been in situations where a threat has made him blind with rage, he knows what it’s like to look death straight in the eyes and say that he’s busy and to come back another time.  This is different.  This is ice cold that freezes over beskar.

He can’t speak out loud to warn you—he can’t move his hands to press the button on the back of his helmet and allow him to talk without detection.  There’s plasma turrets on the roof of the base, he can see them right now.  The helmet’s scanners say they’re manned and engaged, and though he is outside and this is how you retrieved him before whenever he needed a quick escape, he has fifty fucking imperial blasters trained on him and you know absolutely nothing about this threat.  You’re flying right into a war zone and if either you or his son dies, he won’t ever be able to forgive himself.

Behind the helmet, his eyes fly to each and every trooper, wondering which blaster will be the one to do it.  Which weapon is going to be the one he can’t block in time when you descend, the one that’ll kill him right in front of you.  Which turret will be the one to obliterate the Crest with you and his son inside of it.

“Maker, where are those fucking binders—” he hears someone behind him snarl, but the white noise of pure terror roaring through his ears drowns them out.  His chest starts heaving against his will, sheer panic begins to blur his vision.  For the first time in his life, his armor feels too heavy, his lungs feel like one of these boulders are sitting on them instead of beskar.

All too soon, his helmet starts making a familiar sound that signals quietly in his ear, alerting him of an incoming ship, and the only thing he can physically do is count down the seconds to prepare himself for what is to come.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two…

Like lightning, Din breaks the grip of multiple troopers and surges up, tackling the officer in red to the ground.  There’s a clatter as they both slam into the rocky floor, but in the ensuing scuffle, he easily snatches the thermal detonator from his side holster and holds it up for everyone to see, before pressing the red button on the front and hearing it begin to beep rapidly.

---

You’re right on time.

The Crest rises up through the rocky cliffs surrounding the base and you spot the turrets you were warned about.  Weapons controls are already engaged and you’re too low to be detected by radar—you fire once, twice, and blast both of them to smithereens from behind before they can even rotate around to target you.

Alarms start wailing but the guns are destroyed.  It’s not comforting, though; blasters won’t touch you up here, but that doesn’t mean they can’t fire at Din on the ground.  Your eyes dart across the sea of white, looking for a flash of silver anywhere, and then you spot him instantly in the chaos.

For some reason, the troopers in his vicinity all seem to be bolting away from him.  Their rifles are down, clutched in their hands while they nearly fall over each other to run away as fast as possible, and your heart soars when you spot his jetpack firing up.  Din launches into the sky while another trooper is revealed underneath him, seeming to juggle something in his hands and then throw it into the crowd of retreating soldiers, but the sight of the man you love rising into the air while a flurry of blaster shots from the far edges of the imperial structure follow him gives you the confidence to immediately turn the guns down towards the horde of troopers.

“Which ones are in charge?”  You ask Oshua breathlessly, who leans forward and points out the transparisteel.

“Red pauldrons—” he barely has time to say it before you aim and fire at one of the troopers wearing red that was closest to Din, the plasma beam launching from the Crest so powerful and devastating that it outright obliterates the surface he’s laying on.  Pieces of shattered armor fly and a smoking crater of rubble is all that’s left behind, but your mind is whirling and you’re already onto someone else wearing red at the edges of the complex, and then two more near the doors, and then another—

To their credit, you think the sixty or so soldiers in training seem to figure out that you’re not aiming into the enormous collection of them.  If you were, the damage would be catastrophic and spraying everywhere, but you’re precise and meticulous with your shots, and the only ones who are loyal enough to the cause to hold still and raise their blasters at the incoming threat tend to be the ones you need to mow down anyways.  The rest of them scatter in all directions, scrambling over each other to escape and then disappearing into the distant boulders surrounding the base—but you notice that not a single one of them runs back inside the safety of its open doors.

The hull dips with the weight of Din dropping in, and relief floods your soul even as you continue raining hell down on the superiors in charge.  Any flash of color you see is a target, your eyes lose focus of everything, your vision blurs and turns monochrome as you just search for red.

“Lift up!”  You hear Din’s voice roar from the hull.  You can hear his rifle unloading through the open door.  “Now!  We have to go now!”

You press the button to shut the hull door with Din inside and punch it, rising so fast that the shove of gravity makes it difficult to keep your head up.  Through the sudden surge of downward force, you just barely manage to raise your incredibly heavy arm to push the button that pressurizes the Crest and ignites the launch boosters, preparing the vessel for space travel.  Outside the transparisteel, the gray sky begins darkening as the atmosphere eventually disappears.  The ship’s engines roar, burning so much fuel at once that you’re actually accelerating through the climb, you’re boosting through the gradual ease of gravity as the planet’s curvature and glow becomes softer and softer below you.

As soon as the blackness of space begins to fill the windows, the slight subsiding of force allows you to plug in the coordinates for Nevarro with less difficulty, but you’re still moving, still rising, still escaping.  You can’t find it within yourself to slow down, but then something catches your attention.

Claws suddenly dig sharp into your thigh, sharp enough to sting and cause you to wince, and you look down to see that the kid has gone incredibly tense.  Deadly tense.  Your heart is still pounding even though you’re away from danger, you’ve got Din in the hull, everyone is safe, and yet—

It flickers into existence all at once.  One second it’s just space, just the endless depths of nothingness spread out for light years in front of you, and within the blink of an eye it’s suddenly there.

A star destroyer.

Your body freezes in horrified awe, having never seen a ship so fucking big in your entire life.  It looks like a massive satellite, the size of an enormous asteroid instantly appearing in your vision and dwarfing the vastness of space around it.  All the stars you used to dream about are suddenly blotted out within a fraction of a second, terror so immense seizes your soul that you stop thinking.  You stop calculating, you stop being yourself for a split second that lasts an entire lifetime.

Before you can move a single muscle, the computer beeps quickly and lurches the Crest into hyperspace.

---

The stars streak across the transparisteel like so many times before.  Utter silence nearly deafens you with how abrupt it is after so much noise, but the peace it used to bring does nothing to quell your fear.  Everything is the same as it always was, same bursts of light as you hurdle faster than it towards Nevarro, same quiet, same rumbling hum of the ship.  But now, everything has changed.

You hear the quarry next to you suddenly inhale and exhale loudly, and it shocks you a little bit, reminds you that there’s a person next to you and another is on your lap.  Other people exist outside of the vision of death that just flickered out of existence just as quickly as it appeared.  They’re breathing, Oshua is shakily unbuckling his seatbelt, life is continuing on in the quiet cockpit but you can’t seem to move like he is.  You can’t seem to breathe like he is.  It’s only when the baby slowly maneuvers himself around on your thigh and blinks up at you, placing a tiny hand on your stomach that you finally feel air enter your lungs.

After a moment, you reach down and click open your seatbelt with trembling fingers, scooping the kid up in your arms and slowly attempting to stand.  Everything feels wobbly and dreamlike, you have to brace yourself on the headrest to prevent yourself from falling back into the chair again.

“That was…” Ryler mutters, his voice sounding foggy and distant, “uh.  A close one.”

You look over at him, recognizing that he’s speaking but not quite able to understand the words right now.  Red catches in your vision, and you blink down at the way he’s clutching his left shoulder, the smear of blood darkening the white armor he’s wearing.  You blink a few more times at the sight of it, and though it feels like you normally would be sickened at the wound, somehow shocked out of your state of shock, it does nothing to you.  When you look back up at his face, his expression seems strangely grateful, even when it’s screwed up in what you know must be excruciating pain.    You did that, a quiet voice whispers in your mind, even though the rest of it seems incredibly blank.

Instead of responding, you stumble a few steps over to the ladder, spinning around and hesitating for a moment.  You’re severely lacking in coherent thought, but one thing seems to break through.  You’re not sure if you have enough coordination to do this safely right now.  However, when there’s movement in your peripheral and you look to see Oshua gently offering his right arm to you, seeming to understand you’d like to use both hands for this, you snap back to your senses just the slightest bit and hug the baby tighter to your chest.  Carefully, you begin making the slow climb down the ladder with the kid, still trembling with the aftershocks of adrenaline.  Your limbs feel extra heavy, but eventually the floor meets your feet.

Din is standing there when you slowly turn around, armor gleaming and still as a statue, but he has his back to you.  His helmet is tilted down at the ground, and when you follow his gaze, you’re met with the sight of the bloodstains of dragged bodies that leave dark red streaks all the way up the ramp.

You feel something this time.  It’s… cold.  A burning, searing cold that creeps into your skin.  Like your heart decides to pump nitrogen through your chest instead of warm blood.  You did that.

There’s a sudden urge inside of you to speak, to address him and inform him of your presence, tell him everything is okay, everything worked out, but you can’t find it in yourself to say a single word.  You can’t find a single word to say.  The kid twists as best he can in your clutch, his ears drag against your chest to greet his father, but for some reason, there’s still a strange sense of fear in your bones.  It’s enough to wake you up slightly, it’s enough to tell you it’s not over yet.  There’s a terror in your heart that hasn’t left since he first called over the comm and begged you to run, a crippling dread that you thought climaxed after seeing that star destroyer appear, but it’s somehow only increased after laying eyes on him like this.

You watch as his helmet turns, slowly meeting the pauldron on his shoulder, and for some reason, you feel yourself harden.  Your feet brace against the metal floor like this is another threat you have to face, you let its unyielding metallic strength transfer up through the souls of your boots to your heart in your chest.

But the second you hear cheap white armor clatter as the quarry steps down the ladder behind you, Din bursts into movement.  He suddenly spins and storms up to you in one single step while catching your holstered blaster on your hip.  It’s out and aimed in the blink of an eye, and it’s a miracle you remember how to speak before he remembers how to kill.

“Mando—” you warn, just in time for the quarry to land on the floor of the hull and turn around to reveal his face.

Din holds there for a second, his helmet locked on Oshua’s features.  His gloved fingers twitch wildly on the trigger of your gun held over your shoulder, like he has to remind himself multiple times not to.  You hear Oshua’s armor clack while he likely raises one good arm in surrender, but then Din’s helmet moves a fraction of a millimeter to your face and holds there.  He just stares down at you, and the air feels heavy, your body feels heavy, the feather light child in your arms feels heavy.

Slowly, he lowers his arm, lets it fall while he continues looking at you from behind the visor.  You look back at him, unblinking, unfeeling, and there’s a few seconds that last an utter eternity where nobody moves.  Nobody speaks, nothing happens, but then a soft coo comes from your arms before you can finally break eye contact, knowing there are still some things that need to be done.

You eventually turn around and lift your chin to address Oshua.

“You have to go into carbonite,” you inform him quietly.  Your voice sounds strange, like it’s coming from outside of yourself.  “We’re taking you to Nevarro, and then you’ll be transported to your home planet. When they unfreeze you, your sister will be there to collect you.”

He looks uncertain, one hand still raised while the other hangs uselessly at his side, and you don’t blame him.

But you also don’t feel like saying anymore, not unless he decides he doesn’t want to go in willingly.  Normally you might’ve tried to empathize, offer him further reassurance beyond just a couple short sentences, but you don’t.  Speaking feels difficult, thinking feels difficult.  You’re still in survival mode, not active but reactive.  There’s also no reason for you to lie to him about this, and you can see him glance at Din standing silently behind you, who hasn’t moved a muscle.

He eventually nods and you walk him over to the chamber without another word, watch him turn to face you as he backs into the opening while you reach up towards the control panel.

But then there’s a moment.  One where you hesitate slightly, one where your vision flashes back to the sight of those bloodstains on the floor, and that burning cold fills you again, so cold it feels completely numb.

“I’m… sorry,” you whisper quietly to him, though your voice sounds so empty.  There’s so much emotion that should be there but isn’t, so much regret and pain that should break through but can’t.  “I’m sorry I… killed your friends.”

Later, you’ll think about how you felt absolutely nothing saying it.  Your heart doesn’t constrict with remorse at the mere words leaving your mouth, guilt doesn’t flood into your soul, pain doesn’t wrack through your bones.  You could’ve been saying anything at all and nobody would be able to tell the difference.

He blinks at you, flicking his eyes between yours for a second or two, but then you press the proper button and watch the gas quickly freeze him where he stands.  He’ll be conscious the entire time, but Karga will send him to the correct location and you have no doubt that this elemental purgatory is leagues better than where he just escaped from.  It’s a benefit being the last quarry to be retrieved—he’ll only have to spend a few days trapped in here before being reunited with his family.

When that’s done and Oshua is a complete statue in front of you, bulky white armor now colored a dull metallic gray and frozen in time, you will yourself to finally turn around to face the enormous mountain of a presence behind you.  The baby gently reaches out for him, but Din doesn’t move from where he’s stood.  Your blaster is still clutched tightly in his hand, and he isn’t looking at you.

Slowly, you walk over and stop directly in front of him in the middle of the hull, blinking at him while the helmet subtly moves to lock onto your face.  The kid begins wiggling in your arms, making soft impatient noises while you both stand in complete silence across from each other.

After a few moments, you hear him flick your blaster’s safety on by his side and then toss it carelessly to the ground.  It skids along the floor, light enough to be mostly quiet.  Gloves reach out as he carefully takes the kid from you and settles him in the crook of one arm, and then he looks you up and down, still not saying anything.

Your eyes follow his movement, watching his arm slowly reaching out to you, and you think he’s going to cup your jaw, or brush your hair back.  Give you some sort of physical reassurance since he hasn’t spoken a single word of it.

Instead, Din suddenly grabs the armor clinging to your chest and starts ripping it off you with one hand.  It clangs to the floor so loudly in the silence of hyperspace, the kid’s ears twitch and flutter with each shattering bang.  You hold still while he does it, you barely respond except the unavoidable movement your body experiences as the pauldron is yanked from your shoulder and thrown against the ground.  The ammo belt is tugged over your head and hurled away, the thigh braces are snatched from your legs and they clang to the floor, and the pearly, opalescent fabric revealed underneath is stained in dead man’s blood, rusty and in such great quantities that it shows up as brown instead of red.

“Are you hurt?”

He sounds… dead.  So monotonic that you can’t possibly gauge his emotional state.  He doesn’t move.   His fists don’t clench, he says every single word like it means the same exact thing as the last.  If nothing at all was a person who could speak, they’d use his tone of voice.

“No,” you eventually whisper.

The helmet nods once, and then he spins around and walks away without anything else.  Without saying anything, without touching you, or double checking you for injuries in case you were lying.  You stand utterly still while Din climbs the ladder with the kid cradled in one arm, and you don’t even flinch when the door to the cockpit slides shut behind him.  You have no idea how long you stand there in the splitting silence afterwards, numb and unmoving.

You feel… nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

The hard defenses you strapped to yourself today to reconcile the things you had to do are still high and strong, guarding your soul even if he stripped away your physical armor.  Self preservation is still animating your body, and your facial expression barely changes.  Your first thought, as soon as you remember that you can have one, is that there are things that still need to be done.  Tasks to complete.

Alone, you shower the lingering traces of blood off your body, the normally clear and refreshing water running a sickly, toxic brown.  Alone, your stomach rolls and suddenly decides to empty itself of the very little that was in it as the scalding drops rain down over you—mostly liquid and bile that easily rinses down the drain.  The water is too warm, it beats down on you like blazing hot sand pelting your skin in the desert.  You feel like you did those first few months with Din, where the silence was suffocating, where you’d only interact with the baby if he was on a hunt or if you could tell he didn’t know how to calm him when he was fussy.  If you were in hyperspace, you usually spent time by yourself in the hull while he lived in the cockpit, and if he decided he needed to be in the hull for whatever reason, then you’d trade places with him.  It was… isolating.  Lonely by yourself.  The quiet used to haunt you before it became your cherished friend, but now it’s a betrayer, a ghost that whispers memories and nightmares in your ears.

When you finally finish rinsing the blood from your skin and get dressed, you see the sheets that used to make up your bed now have fried holes in them from your charred plasma marks, the inside of the hull is covered in them and the trails of dried blood where you dragged the bodies down the ramp.  Your armor is still strewn about the hull, the kid’s hovering shield lays dead in the corner.  Everything you meticulously cleaned and organized and collected and created, now the scene of a bloodbath.  One committed by your hand, your blaster still laying uselessly on the floor forever linked to this atrocity.

You spare a glance towards the ladder, but you don’t want to come face to face with Din yet.  You already knew he’d be furious, but… you had hoped that he’d at least…

What?  At least what?  Comfort you?  Coddle you after you deliberately ignored his instructions?  What exactly, in the past year or so of learning Din’s inner workings and intricacies, would ever give you the impression that he’d come give you a big hug after you purposefully defied him?  You flew the kid directly into an imperial base after being told to protect him, you ignored every order he gave to you in the moments he thought would be his last, and though you did it to save his life, you have a feeling that Din has never valued his life even a fraction of what you do.

The misery stabs at your soul, but your mind is finally beginning to process things logically.  He’s alive, the kid is alive, the quarry is secure, and you’re all onboard the safety of this ship hurtling through hyperspace where nobody, not even the Empire, can touch you.  You weighed the consequences before making your decision, you did what you had to do.  If he wants to be mad, then he can fucking well be mad and you’ll find some way to comfort yourself.  At least he’s here being mad, at least he’s alive and safe and breathing and mad, and your rare act of disobedience is to thank for that.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you realize it’s probably easier than it should be to reconcile the punishment.  Right now, you welcome the exclusion, the negativity and sorrow beating itself into your soul.  Four innocent people died today on this ship, gunned down under your blaster while they panicked and ran for cover.  You keep hearing their screams.

So you start to clean up the hull, needing another task to focus your thoughts on.  You work to erase every inch of the evidence of your deeds, make it disappear like the pool of blood Din once cleaned up while you were sleeping and never acknowledged again.  You only allow the bloodstains to fuck with your head for a single moment, and then you swallow back the nausea until you’re a blank slate again and sink to your knees with a rag in your hand.  After that, your vision stops focusing and it just becomes red contrasting against gunmetal gray, and you work tirelessly to get rid of all remaining traces of it.

Then you start on the blaster marks, you need them gone.  After a few informed attempts at mixing cleaning chemicals, you find one concoction that allows you to wipe them away like they’re nothing more than dirt that got tracked in.  The Crest’s oxygen recycling system works overdrive to constantly purify the air so you don’t get high or pass out, but your nose still stings.  It’s fine, it’s sterile, it burns a bit but it smells sharp and metallic and keeps you hyper focused on the task at hand.

After that’s done, you pick up the charred blankets and ball them up to throw into the trash vent.  You don’t feel anything as you do it.  You don’t think about how long it took you to collect these over months and months of being stuck on this ship, how comfortable they were when everything else was industrial and rigid, how many nights you spent with Din curled up in their softness while he breathed easy and warm.  Sheets are just luxuries, they can afford to be lost.

Next, you gather your armor and wipe it down with the rag, put it away along with your blaster.  The stained robe goes in the trash, along with the sheets and the blood soaked cloth you used to clean everything.  They’re all ruined, you’ll never be able to make them right again.

The hull is sparkling clean when you decide to take another shower.  Nothing on you is dirty except your hands, but you feel filthy.  Wrong, cold, numb, cold, stained, cold.

After scrubbing your skin raw under the water and changing clothes again, since you don’t really know what to do with yourself anymore, you slowly climb the ladder to the cockpit, keeping perfectly silent.  When you reach the upper platform and come face to face with the closed door, you can just barely hear Din’s whispered voice speaking quietly to the baby beyond it.

You raise your hand for a moment, hovering your knuckles over the metal, but then it eventually falls.  Instead, you look over and spot the corner, the same corner Din bunched himself into when he snapped at you for even suggesting going on a hunt with him, blew up at you for the mere notion of something happening like what happened today.  You back yourself into it in defeat and slowly sink down on the floor, resting your head against the metal and hugging your knees to your chest since you don’t have a tiny baby to take their place.

You can’t sleep.  You don’t even try, it’s pointless.  The concept feels foreign the longer you sit here by yourself.  You don’t hear Din or the baby anymore, but you feel… so fucking awful that it’s fitting that you don’t knock or go looking.  You don’t want to hold that sweet child with hands that were covered in blood just a few hours ago.  You killed more people than you can count on your fingers today, and of the ones who had done nothing wrong…  They screamed like younglings, ducked for cover and were able to fire off one single useless shot in the mayhem before you closed their eyes forever and left their bodies to rot in armor that wasn’t ever their choice to wear.

You didn’t know they were kidnapped and smuggled and forced into that situation.  You couldn’t have known, but that isn’t the point.  In this case, knowing doesn’t make one bit of difference.

You also can’t face Din yet, not like this.  You don’t want him to see you cowering, shattered with guilt over the decisions you made under pressure.  How will you ever get him to forgive you for not listening to him when you can’t even forgive yourself for the result of your choices?  Din is a hardened man who grew up in blasterfire and bloodshed, just because you love him doesn’t mean he’s going to magically become someone he isn’t.  You’re here letting guilt sink sharp claws into your chest over four dead men when he had a good fifty or more corpses scattered on the battlefield around him.  You decided to wear that armor, you decided to fly into an imperial base with the kid on your lap, and this is now your penance.  You’ll accept it with your back straight and your chin held high.

Figuratively, of course.  Physically, you’re smaller than you’ve ever been.  Crumpled up into a ball, taking up as little space as possible, curling up as tight as you can like an animal protecting all your vulnerable parts during a brutal attack.

So, since he isn’t here to comfort you himself, you just try to think about what he would tell you.  A long time ago, what would he tell you?

Din would tell you… that you killed someone.  Multiple people, this time.  He’d also tell you that it doesn’t matter what he tells you, what you could have reasonably foreseen or what you should have done.  The end result won’t change.  You own this now.  You’ll carry their deaths with you.

You take a few deep breaths, self-soothing with the undeniable truth that would be murmured matter of factly from his quiet voice.  He wouldn’t argue with you.  He wouldn’t deny the decisions you made or the consequences of them.  It happened, and at the end of the day, you either learn how to handle that, or you don’t.

And, for the four you did shoot, you were responsible for freeing ten times that amount.  You’re responsible for reuniting Oshua Ryler with his family, even if your place in yours is momentarily shunned.  You’d rather be out here alone than in there with the kid, wondering where his dad is or if he’s even still alive.  You rescued Din and now he gets to be here to shut this door on you, hold his son, and whisper calm reassurances to him.  If you listen really hard and imagine, you can pretend they’re for you, too.

That’s it.  Focus on them both, alive and well together.  Focus on the bodies wearing white armor that were moving, the ones that were bolting away from the imperial training base as fast as they could, free from the torture of imprisonment and conditioning.

Finally, you close your eyes and slip into unconsciousness.  It’s not a testament to your exhaustion, but rather just how long you’ve been left to sit here by yourself.  Hours, maybe.  Time is strange in hyperspace.

You dream of a faceless man ringing bells.

---

When you wake up, a small baby has been placed in your arms, and you’re being dragged into a strong, secure beskar hold on the floor.

“Din,” you suddenly lift your head as soon as you’re conscious and nearly bonk it into solid metal, apologies rising in your throat before you even remember where you are.  You did what needed to be done to keep your family alive and together and you’d do it a thousand times again if necessary, but that doesn’t mean you won’t apologize anyways.  After the deeds you’ve committed today, regret feels as natural on your lips as speaking your own name.  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I know you’re mad at me but I—”

“Shh,” he whispers, running his gloves through your hair.  He’s still wearing his helmet, he hasn’t taken anything off yet.  “Don’t say anything.  Just… stay here, stay right here with me.”

“I tried to save you,” you croak, tears instantly flooding your eyes.  You did save him.  You saved him and the baby and yourself but you’re so physically and emotionally exhausted that all you can recall is your intent.  “I tried.  Wasn’t gonna leave you there by yourself.  I tried to be brave, like you—y-you wouldn’t have left without me.”

His arms tighten around you, cradling you in such a strong embrace that you burrow into him, you find a place for your head on the hard metal strapped to him and bury yourself there, wishing that you had shovels of dirt being piled on you to justify the death you still feel staining your soul.  Your heart is starting to pound now that you’re remembering, your body is starting to shake with tremors of shock now that you’re aware of your own skin again.

“I was so sc-scared, Din, I didn’t—didn’t know what was happening,” you lament through watery eyes, gasping it out in hopes that it’ll relieve the slightest bit of the gut wrenching guilt just mercilessly crushing you.  It caught you before you could protect yourself against it, that armor you built around yourself isn’t on when you first wake up.  “I-I didn’t want to kill them, but they were already on the ship and y-you said—you said they were coming after the kid s-so I had to, I had to—”

“Stop,” Din whispers, voice so quiet that you can barely hear him.

“I-I cleaned up the blood,” you turn your face against the cold beskar to let all the positives you listed for yourself before scrape across your throat.  They don’t sound comforting anymore, they just sound like excuses.  “It’s gone, it’s like it never happened, everything is okay now, I got the quarry, I protected the baby, I saved a bunch of people, you’re both safe—”

“Stop,” he chokes out.  The modulator cuts off before you can hear his next breath, but you feel it shudder under your body.  “St-Stop it, please.”

Your eyes clench shut so tightly you feel like the streaking stars outside are behind them, tears drop down against his pauldron and you press your face tighter to it like it’s a wound, like the pressure will somehow ease the bleeding.

“Listen to me,” he says very quietly, and you instantly brace yourself.  The walls you just let down shoot right back up, your body physically tightens in preparation for another pain, another trauma, another scar you’ll carry, and you stop shaking.  You stop breathing, even when his hand comes up to ease your face away from his armor.

“You,” he whispers, holding your chin so you’re staring right at him, and your eyes flick fearfully in between his behind the visor, “are a sweet girl.”  Din’s leather thumb brushes along your skin, dragging over the tears below your puffy eyes.  “Not,” his voice catches, “a Mandalorian.”

Your heart goes cold.  Again, everything turns numb.  It doesn’t matter that you already said this yourself out loud earlier today.  It doesn’t matter that you acknowledged this fact, verbally insisted it more than once to hammer home the truth and felt some sense of comfort in it.  For some reason, hearing the words from his mouth is a fucking knife to your chest.

“I taught you how to fight, how to shoot a blaster,” he murmurs, thumb catching every single tear that continues to fall as he speaks.  “I taught you everything I know, everything that’s been taught to me.  I taught you how to defend yourself, how to protect yourself when you’re in danger.  I gave you your blaster, I gave you my armor, I gave you everything I could give you to keep you safe.  And when I thought you were ready, I let you loose on Sanctuary II.  Do you know why I did that?”  The helmet tips forward the slightest bit at the question, probing deep into the most shattered part of your heart.  “After all those months of fighting, and shooting, and training, do you know why I told you to run?”

You blink silently at him, a shaky breath quaking through you, and your expression wants to crumple under the reprimand.  You’re so fragile right now, taking hit after hit after hit to the softest parts inside you, and you want to just give up.  Let the guilt and remorse take you, let it wash you away.  But then, instead…

There’s a flicker of something inside you.  Something strong, endlessly strong, and it makes you want to revolt against what he’s saying.  It replaces the hurt and fear and desperation for comfort with a strange sense of insurgence, like it did earlier when you were hiding behind a boulder, cowering and trembling and not wanting to die.  You’re filled with a quiet urge to defend yourself in the face of this, stand up for yourself and refuse to be beaten down any longer.

“Because you needed to know how to escape danger,” he answers himself when you don’t.  “You needed to know how to disappear, how to outsmart any pursuer and find safety, even the trained ones.  Especially the trained ones.  Anything else was meant to be your last resort.  Not your choice.  Not something you chose.”

“I couldn’t leave you,” you admit to him quietly, voice shaky and tears still coming even as you try to speak up for yourself.  The regret you carry has nothing to do with this, and you decide right now that you won’t feel bad for saving him.  Your hurt comes from the meaningless things, the ones without any need whatsoever, not the necessary ones, and you tried.  You repeated his words to yourself over and over again, told yourself to run, told yourself to get to Nevarro, and it wasn’t going to happen.  “I couldn’t do it.  It wasn’t a choice.”

“It was,” he tells you.  He says it softly, whispers it like it’s the gentlest thing in the world, but the power and inherent distance of the armor strapped to his body finds its way into the words.  “And it was the wrong one.”

“What was I supposed to do?”  You ask, just a hint of that rebellion swimming to the surface now, rising out of the waves of self doubt, the one that feels like a spine growing in your back, an energy coursing through your veins that makes your heart start to beat faster.  Din’s hand slowly drops from your cheek but you don’t care.  “Was I supposed to run away and just let you die?”

“Yes.”  It’s quick and blunt and completely emotionless.  Delivered like a punch to the vulnerable parts of yourself he taught you how to protect, and the utter silence following this single word is comparable to the physical pain you learned to defend against.  It jabs hard against everything good and sweet and tender inside of you, and you’re left speechless even as he continues impassively.  “That’s exactly what you were supposed to do.”

It takes a second, but then that unfamiliar feeling suddenly surges up, breaches with the power of an entire ocean.  Your voices may be nothing more than whispers in the dark, you may be clinging to each other, holding each other with the softest, gentlest love in your hearts, but the strength of your conviction on this would rip metal apart.

“No.”  The word holds the might of your entire being, and it stands alone and defiant in the face of everything you fear, everything that threatens you, him, and this child.  Never.  You’ll die before that happens.  “I love you, and there’s nothing in this galaxy that would ever make me do that.  Not fear, not danger, not the Empire, nothing.  Not even you.”

Din stares at you.  His visor reflects your hardened expression back to you, the force in your soul and the purpose in your eyes, and you don’t even realize the gravity of what you just said because like your love for him, gravity is a constant.  It’s a fundamental truth cemented into the rules that govern your actions and it stays true no matter where you are, no matter what terror you face, or how scared you become.  You have him, you have this little boy in your arms, and if that’s all you have, then you have everything.

After an eternity of this, of feeling his eyes pierce deep into you from behind the helmet while you refuse to wither under his stare, you watch him slowly turn and look down, landing on the sleepy child tucked between you both.  He holds there for a long time, before finally whispering, so quiet that the modulator barely picks it up, “It was the wrong choice.”

You stay quiet.  It happened.  What’s done is done, you can’t change the past.  He can scold and reprimand you about this as much as he wants, but you did the right thing and that decision is the only reason he’s even here to be able to do so.  This exhausted child was reunited with his father because of your choices, and this exhausted father was reunited with his child.  You won’t argue anymore, but it’s a certitude that lives deep in your heart now, builds a home there right alongside the both of them.  Din eventually looks up, his eyes find yours again behind the visor, and his hand rises once more to gently cup your jaw.

“I… thought I’d enjoy seeing you in my armor,” Din finally whispers.  It’s not what you expected, but his voice sounds… weak.  Broken.  “You wore mine once before, and it was…”  He brushes his thumb along your cheek, and then his head shakes slightly, pushing the thought away.  “It wasn’t real.  It didn’t fit.  It dwarfed you, it made you look out of place, it made everything soft and innocent about you stand out.  I liked it because it wasn’t real.”

“Was it… really that bad?”  You whisper back, partially to ease the tension just slightly but quickly breaking eye contact with him when you realize it doesn’t land correctly, it just sounds self conscious and sad.  You try to find that conviction again, that strength and assurance that propped you up so sturdily before, but…  Not a Mandalorian, he’d said.  Of course not.  Of course not.

“It wasn’t the armor.”  Din gently tugs up on your face so that you look at him again.  “It was you covered in blood.  It was you purposefully putting yourself in danger.  You killed multiple armed soldiers of the Empire, you dragged their bodies off the ship.  And then you flew into an imperial base, where you killed the officers, too.  You…”  He shakes his head slowly at you while speaking, and although you can’t see his face, you don’t need to in order to hear the horror in his voice.   “You… collected a quarry… in the middle of a massacre, sweet girl.”

Not a Mandalorian.

“You don’t chase down bounties,” he tells you.  “You don’t fly into war zones.  You don’t kill imperials, you don’t collect quarries, you don’t sacrifice yourself, or our son, to save me.  You said you tried to be brave… like me.”  His fingers tighten against your cheek, he dips his helmet to make sure you understand.  “I’ll never ask you to be brave.  I’ll ask you to survive.”

“I’m… sorry,” you finally whisper, and his arm drops from your cheek to join the other in wrapping around you and holding tight.  They hug you and squeeze, encasing you and the baby in a beskar shield and staying there for a long time.  Long enough for you to tuck your head back into its proper place under his helmet, long enough to start to feel okay with the silence again.  It brutalized you the last time you were surrounded by it, it made you feel alone and desolate and barren inside.  You greet it warily now, settling into it for an unknown amount of time until it’s forgiven once more.

After a while, Din quietly breaks it.

“How many?”  He murmurs to you.  You already know exactly what he’s asking, there's no more clarification necessary on his behalf.

You slowly close your eyes and think back to the smoldering craters, the blood soaked ramp, the fear in Oshua Ryler’s eyes as he begged you not to kill him.

“That didn’t deserve it?”  You ask, clenching your eyes tighter at the memory.  “Four.”

And maybe, maybe six or eight months ago, you would’ve begged for some guidance on how to reconcile that.  Hell, maybe a few hours ago, you could’ve used his arms around you exactly like this, his low voice repeating the same things he’s already told you before, over and over again, if only for some semblance of stability when everything feels turbulent and uncertain.  You’ll never be able to change it, though.  This belongs to you now.

This time, all Din says is, “I’m sorry, too.”

And that covers everything.

The silence envelops you both again, but… there’s something else.  Something that still sits deep in your worries, an image that isn’t a scar of what’s happened but a dread of what’s to come.  You need to tell him.  You don’t feel like saying it, you don’t want to speak it aloud for fear of bringing it into existence, but you need to tell him.

“Din?”  You breathe out, and he makes a soft noise in his throat while cuddling you on the floor.  “I saw…,” you whisper, every word sitting tight and reluctant in your throat.  “Right when we made the jump, I was looking through the window and I-I saw…”

“A star destroyer.”  He says it like… like it’s the worst thing in the world and also completely expected at the same time.  He says it like he already knew, yet can’t even imagine.  You lean every bit of your weight against him since you can’t hold him in return, squish him as best you can against the small corner and curl up even tighter in his arms for comfort.

He takes a deep breath, a shuddery sound you don’t think you’ve ever heard him make before.  It holds untold anxiety, unsaid conflict, uncertain action, an unknown path forward.

“I don’t know what to do,” Din eventually whispers to himself, to you, to the baby in your arms.  His voice is barely a breath through the modulator, his fingers digging into your skin with how many emotions he’s repressing.  “What do I do?”

He sounds so distressed that you automatically feel your soul find the floor—instantly, you become steady and calm and you locate all that rationality that kept you going today.  All your worries still twist deep down, all the guilt and the turmoil wrestles with your soft, easy nature until you can only find bits and pieces of it in the most vulnerable places inside you, but if he’s struggling this terribly, then the least you can do is offer some good, true, unwavering faith in times of uncertainty.  You’re in hyperspace, everything worked out, and it’s going to stay that way for right now.  If he doesn’t know how to talk about it yet, then you trust him enough to wait for him.

“It’ll be okay,” you tell him with a newfound confidence and purpose, carefully easing the baby into one arm so that the other can find its way to the other side of his helmet and pull him closer.  Din tucks his head and allows you to brush your lips against the metal, whisper the words soft and steady to him.  “We’ll figure it out together.”

---

@cptnbvcks thank you so much for the incredible art!

[coryosbaby]

mutual masturbation with step brother!ethan? 🫠😣

Warning: stepcest (stepbrother x stepsister), dark Ethan landry, manipulation, slight dubcon, reader is of age, grinding, mutual masturbation, weird references to being siblings ig, praise kink, cum play, dom! Ethan, sub!reader, slightly innocent! Reader

Its not uncommon for Ethan to have sleepovers in your room.

Both of your parents don’t approve, and for good reason. Neither trust Ethan to be on his best behavior after the untying your bikini top ‘as a joke’ incident (he had apologized to you by buying you ice cream and a new dress).

But it’s really not going to stop him from knocking on your door, regardless. No matter how much you protest.

“Relax, baby,” he says to you, as he shoves himself inside your pretty pink room. It’s not uncommon for him to call you baby, either. It’s his nickname for you. “That’s why we keep it a secret, right? And if we get caught, I’ll tell them it was my idea. Promise.”

“But I don’t want to get you in trouble, E.” You frown, and he sits down beside you on your bed and begins to stroke your hair soothingly.

“It’ll be okay. Just be a good girl and have a sleepover with me tonight, yeah?” He smiles when you bring his hand into yours, and you nod with flushed cheeks. “C’mere, sis. We can watch a movie.”

And you do, your body layed between his spread thighs as his arms rest on your stomach. He draws light circles into your belly as you giggle at something on the screen. You lean back into him more; he smells really nice. It overclouds your senses and makes you bury your face in his neck.

“Needy?” He teases, when you bring your hands up to his hair.

Your brows furrow in confusion.

“For what?”

“Nevermind, sweetheart. Just watch the movie.”

And then that’s that. But then the climax starts showing, and that’s when you begin to get sleepy.

And maybe a little horny, too. Because when you adjust and feel Ethan’s cock against your lower back, you begin to subconsciously grind into it.

The boy inhales, his grip on you tightening. You feel his dick getting hard, bigger. You ache from the feeling, and you begin to hump your little pussy onto the bed. The action is so naive and virginal that when Ethan notices he lets out a whine.

“Fuck. Look at you, you dirty girl.”

Ethan’s voice reminds you of the situation you’re both in. Your mind comes back to its senses, and you pull away from his grasp. Your eyes are wide as you crawl to the end of the bed in shock.

What the fuck just happened? He’s your brother, for god’s sake!

(Well, stepbrother. But that doesn’t make it any better.)

Ethan looks confused and tries to reach for you, but you yank yourself away.

“We can’t do that, Eth. W-We can’t..”

He sighs, hands coming up to run his hands through his hair.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

He’s not sorry. He just wants you to think he is, because he knows you’re the one thing he’s not: a person who follows the rules. And he knows that you’ll do whatever it takes to make your mom and his dad happy. And that includes not fucking your stepbrother.

But you’ll also do anything to make Ethan happy. He’s your best friend, after all. The one who cares for you the most.

And that’s when Ethan gets the idea.

He smirks to himself, and adjusts his body to lean back against the bed frame. His hand goes down to massage his covered cock. And then, he slips it down into his sweats. He groans, his eyes making their way to yours. You’re shocked, face intensely heated and pussy starting to throb.

“W-What are you doing? Eth, c’mon…”

“Don’t you love me?” His gaze brings a heat to your neck, and he bites his lip and fucks into his hand when he sees your innocent eyes looking at his clothed cock.

“O-Of course I do! I-I’d do anything for you!”

Ethan pouts, tilting his head. “I don’t think you would. Your big brother needs help, and you’re not helping him.. doesn’t seem like you love me at all.”

“I really really do! I-It’s just that.. I don’t want mom and dad to find out, and-”

“They won’t find out if you’re quiet, angel.” He replies. You bite your lip, thinking over your parents rules.

“But mom and dad don’t like this kind of stuff. We’ll get in trouble if we do anything..”

“No, no, no, you sweet dumb thing.” he looks down at your body as he speaks, and you squirm under his gaze. “As long as we don’t touch each other, it doesn’t count. Okay?”

You think it through , and in the end Ethan’s gorgeous face wins you over. You nod, slowly. And then Ethan is grinning at you.

“That’s my girl.”

Your breathing begins to waver, and you bite your lip as he takes out his fat cock. You know you shouldn’t look, but you do. He begins to stroke the head, the tip dripping with precum, and you inhale shakily.

“You’re so fuckin’ perfect, y’know that?” Ethan breathes. “Why don’t you take that nightgown off and let me see you how pretty you are?”

“O-Okay…”

Your fingers nervously fumble with the silky slip, and you pull it over your head. Your body is revealed to him, only your pink lacy underwear covering your most intimate parts. Ethan groans. Your hands go up to cover your tits, feeling incredibly exposed.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Ethan coos. “It’s just me. It’s just your big brother…”

That shouldn’t make your pussy begin to ache for touch, but it does. And when he demands that you move your hands, you slowly obey. Your tits are exposed, nipples flushed and puffy.

“I’ve never…” you frown. “I’ve never done this before. Could you show me what to do?”

Ethan smiles. “Of course, angel.”

He stops touching himself, instead moving to gently adjust your body as he pleases. You moan when he pulls your ankles over his thighs, your body now laid between his spread legs. His aching prick is so close to your cunt that you can feel the heat radiating off of it. You’ve never felt this euphoric, never felt this kind of intimacy, and it makes you gush onto your panties.

Ethan’s finger teasingly ghosts over your clit, and you whine in protest.

“N-No touching, E. Remember?”

He chuckles. “Right. ‘M sorry, honey.”

“‘S okay…”

He smiles. “Can you take off your underwear?”

You nod, hands coming down to rest on your waistband and pull the thin garment down. You throw them to the other side of the bed, and when your arousal hits Ethan’s nose, he lets out a groan.

“You smell so fuckin’ good.”

“Thank you..”

And then he’s telling you directions, teaching you to rub your clit and stick your fingers inside yourself. You whine at the friction against your puffy little clit, and Ethan begins to touch himself again.

You watch the thick skin of his cock as it moves over his tip, watches the precum that drips on the sheets below the both of you. Your whole body is on fire, skin electric and buzzing.

“Eth… wan’ you so bad. I love you so much!” You babble. Ethan moans, his slick cock making wet noises in the otherwise quiet room. You can feel your first orgasm of the night moving in on you, and your hips chase your hand as it moves against your clit.

“I love you too, sweet girl. Fuck.. are you gonna cum? Hm? ”

“Yes, yeah. Mm.. fuck!” The coil in your belly snaps, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as you cum. Ethan looks at you through clenched teeth, his hand speeding up on himself.

“God. My precious little girl, doin’ so good.. ‘m gonna cum all over this pussy. That what you want?”

You nod eagerly, spreading your pussy lips apart and moving your body further to him.

It’s not exactly touching. So where’s the wrong in it? Besides, your pussy is so swollen, begging for another orgasm, and begging to be filled. Ethan’s hips thrust up, and he growls as he empties his load onto your wet little cunt. You clench at the feeling of his warm seed hitting your hole, coating you in him. He bites his lip, looking down at how well he’s marked you.

And then, he grabs your thighs and dives down into your pussy. You mewl at the feeling of his tongue pushing his cum back inside you.

Fuck it. Where’s the fun in following the rules, anyway?

[absolutelyhugh3s]

michigan maize | ee73

ethan edwards x reader!

more loosely based song fics!! this one is tennessee orange by megan moroney

thank you guys so so much for all the love and support on forever and ever!!! y’all seriously don’t understand how much it means to me!! i love every single one of you <33

word count: 1.13k (not my gif!)

“hi munchkin! how are you doing?” my mothers honey-like voice filled my ears as she answered my call.

oh god, i'm really doing this.

“hi mama” i smiled even though she couldn’t see me “im good”

“i've got some news” i said nervously, clenching the comforter of my bed in my fist.

“oh honey is everything alright?” her slight chicago accent peaking through.

“dont worry im doing okay, just please dont tell dad?” i pleaded with my mother.

“y/n did something happen?” she asked worriedly.

“yes mama. he’ll blow a fuse if he found out” my father wasn’t big on me going to the umich. being the coach of msu hockey, he wanted me to go there.

but when i received an amazing scholarship to play lacrosse, i had to take it.

the first thing he told me when i left for school was “don't run off with any of those hockey boys y/n, they are very bad news.”

well, he’s clearly never met ethan.

“i know you raised me to know right from wrong, but god he makes it so hard” i chuckle “he?” my mother questions.

“i met somebody mama, hes brunette, and he's got these big brown eyes, and he opens the door for me everywhere i go!” 

ethan and y/n go on small date’s every wednesday night. its an awkward time for some, but for them, its the only time in their busy schedules that they can be together.

today, their date night was dressing up super fancy (as barbie and ken of course) seeing the barbie movie, and eating at a small diner a few blocks from the movie theater.

ethan had planned out the entire thing and the couple had a blast. once ethan had driven her back to her on campus apartment, she thanked the older boy, kissed him goodbye and began to exit the car.

“WAIT” ethan yelled. he jumped up out of the drivers seat, exiting the car and running around to open his girlfriend’s car door. “ok now you can go” he smiled

the small action made the girl melt like a snowman in summer. the defenseman than sprinted to the main door of her apartment complex, opening that for her as well.

“m’lady” he held out a hand as y/n walked through the door a blushing mess. he than took her hand in his, interlocking their fingers, leading her up to her apartment.

though the action was so little, it made her fall in love with him more and more every day.

“he just makes me so happy! hes like perfectly perfect! god! i've never felt this way mama!” i ramble.

“hun” my mother chuckles. “whats his name?” i then realize i left out the most important part “ethan! ethan edwards! mama you would love him” i smiled.

“but back home id be sinning” the smile fades slightly from my face. “why is that dear?” it seems as though she could hear what was going though my mind.

“mama, hes got me wearing maize and blue for him” i sarcastically laughed. 

“you should come to my game tomorrow” ethan said, running his hands through the ends of the y/h/c girls hair.

“the boys would love to see you, plus i get to have my own little good luck charm in the stands” the boy smiled like a small child at the girl laying on his chest.

“really?” she looked up at the brown haired boy with big doe eyes. “yes really” he grinned.

“here” he moved the smaller girl off of his chest to stand up from his bed.

he rummages through his closet, looking for a specific item of clothing.

suddenly a large yellow piece of fabric is thrown at her “you can even wear my jersey” he smiles.

the girl holds it up a large ‘edwards 73’ stares at her. “you know what e? i think i will”

“oh hes an athlete?” my mom says, surprised.

“yeah hekindasortamaybeplayshockey” i rush out, nervous of what my mother would say.

“im gonna need you to slow down y/n/n” she chuckles

“he plays hockey mama. he had me wearing his jersey at a msu game! of course i want the spartans to win but still! his smile! oh his smile! it makes me forget i look better in green!” i gush about my boyfriend.

“so thats why you didnt want your father to know” my mom teases, clearly finding enjoyment in this entire situation.

“oh please forgive me mama, i like him a lot” i beg “oh i think its a lot more than like sweetheart” my mom says. “what?”

“oh honey you are head over heels for ethan” she laughs “i've known for ten minutes and i can tell” 

“oh god im in love with a wolverine!” i exclaim.

“babygirl its ok! the worlds not gonna end! growing up in chicago i said i would never date a red wings fan, guess what? i married one!” she laughs.

“so you’re not mad?” i asked hesitantly.

“of course not y/n! its my job as your mother to always be supportive of you” i could tell she was smiling though the phone.

i talked with my mother for a while longer about random stuff for about another half hour. “mama i have to go, ethan should be here in a few minutes” i say.

“alright sweetie, invite him home would ya?” my mother asks. “of course mama, i love you” “i love you too sweet girl, bye bye”

i clean things up for about ten minutes when i hear a knock at my apartment door.

“you can come in e!” i shout. “ok!” he shouts back before walking in.

i put the last few dishes in the cabinet when i feel two muscular arms snake around my waist and a face bury into the crook of my neck.

“hi baby” he mumbles, tightening his hold on my waist.

“hi e” i giggled. “guess what i did today” i added.

“hmm climbed mount everest?” “nope” “slayed a dragon?” “nope” “killed someone?” “god no!”

“i told my mom about us” i smiled. ethans parents have known for a few weeks now about us, but he didnt wanna push me to tell mine. he wanted me to be comfortable with doing it myself.

ethan spins me around, his hands steading my hips. “you did?” he smiles.

“i did” i mirror his smile. the much larger boy then pulls me into the tightest hug possible.

“im so proud of you baby” he says, kissing the crown of my head.

“i have a question though” i place my chin on his sternum so im looking up at ethan. “whats up love?”

“what are you doing for spring break?”

[behidethetrees]

HOLD MY HEART, ITS BEATING FOR YOU ANYWAY.

IN WHICH… You’re ethans dream girl!

Pairing: Ethan landry x Fem! Reader

Contents: non-gf! Ethan, Reader is bffs with Tara and Anika <3, Chad is definitely Ethan’s biggest hypeman, This is set in the 2000s!!

THIS IS A REUPLOAD!!! my blog got deleted so I have to re-upload all my fics :( but nonetheless enjoy!!

HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR YEAR 2005 ;

Ethan has had his eye on you for a while.

Since junior year of high school when you asked him for the algebra notes, he's been completely infatuated with you. He had daydreamed about you and everything he would do for you once you became his.

He was so sure you two would tie the knot soon that he started to plan your future together. He dreamed about having a big house with two cats, a good-paying job so he can spoil you, maybe even kids. But he couldn't have any of that if he hadn't talked to you yet.

he decided to take matters into his own hands, He was going to talk to you. He thought of all the different ways he would approach you But every time he tried, Once he got close enough to you, he would always back down because of how nervous you made him.

Ethan felt as if you were getting farther from him Until one day when you asked for the notes again…

"I- uhm, can tutor you if you want." Ethan blurts out

"tutor me? You think I'm stupid?" you said in that sickly sweet voice of yours which, at that moment, didn't feel all too sweet.

"NO!, oh God uhm-no that's not what I meant. I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that, It's just uh we have a test soon so I didn't know if-" Ethan started to ramble. He had fantasized about you for too long to let you slip away. He wasn't going to let it happen.

"I'm just fucking with you, here's my number." you laugh as you tear a piece of paper from your notebook and grab Ethan's pen from his hand.

Ethan was sure he was seeing hearts around his vision. Ethan had made YOU laugh, Ethan's heart was pumping out of his chest. As you handed him the paper, smiled, and thanked him he had to force himself not to kiss you right then and there.

Every tutor session ended with you two just talking and getting to know each other. Ethan studied you. he memorized what you liked, didn't like, your favorite foods, the shows you liked, everything you told him he would remember.

As you two became closer, Ethan became more and more devoted to you. You two went shopping? He’d carry your bags. Out for food? He’d pay. Simply walking towards a door? He’d hold the door open for you. You had started to consider Ethan a best friend and that made Ethan's stomach hurt with excitement.

When you introduced Ethan to the group, of course, Chad took a quick liking in him, So much so they're now roommates at Blackmore. Ethan would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of Chad at first. How close you guys were, how comfortable, How much trust you put in him, Everybody loved Chad and his personality, Chad had a higher chance of being with you than Him Ethan thought, and something about that made Ethan's jaw clench harder every time, But he would never admit this.

BLACKMORE UNIVERSITY, SOPHMORE YEAR 2008;

When you got that text from Ethan, Tara grabbed your pink flip phone and freaked out.

“Oh my god! y/n you HAVE to accept this!” Tara yelled as she grabbed your shoulders and shook you.

“Why this restaurant though? Why does he want to go that far out for food?” You said with too much obliviousness that it hurt everyone in the room.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Anika started “ He likes you! He's taking you to a fancy dinner to tell you, There's no other reason why he would want you to go that far out for a hamburger!”

“I don't think he does though, I think he likes that girl in our econ class” You said, The thought of that makes your heart hurt. You had liked ethan for awhile, He was so kind and attentive, If you asked him for help, He would be there in a heartbeat. He treated you with so much respect and gentleness you knew no one else could give you like he did.

“Jill? Are you kidding? You're so blind.” Tara says “Well he looks at her sometimes-” You start getting defensive.

“She sits in front of him Y/N. I promise you he doesn't like her, if he does he's an idiot!” Tara yells.

Anika agrees with a loud yeah!

“Whatever but I still don't think he likes me, we're just friends.” In your gut, you knew that was a lie but you kept telling yourself it wasn't.

“He has heart eyes every time he looks at you y/n. He's definitely in love with you.” Anika said, Tara laughs.

The whole afternoon Tara and Anika helped you get ready and pick out what to wear. You all decided on a y/f/c colored dress with some dark shoes. Tara straighten your hair and Anika did your nails and picked out your perfume.

“He's gonna be more in love with you than he already is!” Tara says, You laugh as Tara and Anika hug you.

Ethan was sitting in the booth of a fancy restaurant that was quite the drive from Blackmore. Chad had finally convinced Ethan to ask you out and when you agreed, Chad's plan was finally in motion. Ethan smelled like Chad's cologne and was dressed in expensive clothes Chad had brought him, a baby blue collared shirt with grey dress pants. Ethan's curls were somehow curlier and out of his face, he looked like a ‘million bucks’ according to Chad.

As you walk in you noticed a group of three sitting to the left of the entrance, All dressed in black, sunglasses, and their hair covering their faces, One of them looked like Anika, You almost laughed. What you didn't notice was Ethan's eyes going wide as he saw you walk in. How his blood started rushing and his heart was about to explode.

“Hey y/n!’ Ethan awkwardly gets up from his seat, He puts his hands on your waist to pull you into a hug.

“Hey Ethan.” you say as you lean into his touch, placing your arms around his neck. It was a short but an effective hug. You too, were now nervous.

As Ethan lets go, You exhale a breath you didn't know you were holding.

You sat across from Ethan and looked at the menu, but Ethan didn't. Ethan was looking at you. Admiring you. How focused you were, how your eyebrows moved up a bit if you saw something that looked good, how you played with your silver ring, taking it off and putting it back on your finger.

“ I think I want to try this, Ethan are you looking?” you ask as you move the menu to show Ethan, “ Are you okay?” You noticed Ethan was just staring down.

“I uhm, need to tell you something.” Ethan says softly. Was he really about to do this?

“Oh okay” Ethan saw you fidget with your ring again, He knew you were just as nervous as he was.

Ethan looked down at his hand to remember what to say- oh crap, Ethan's black ink was smudged from washing his hands. Ethan cursed himself in his head for being so dumb. Ethan breathed in deeply, trying not to panic. What was he supposed to say now?

Ethan picked up his head but avoided making eye contact with you, But you on the other hand were looking right into his hazel eyes that still somehow shined even in the dimed lights.

“I don't know if this is weird because we're friends and I don't want to make you uncomfortable,” Ethan starts, He knew this wasn't the best way to start but he didn't know what else to say. “If you don't feel the same that's okay, And if you don't want to be friends after this thats fine too-” Ethan is stalling.

“Ethan what are you saying?” You knew what was coming but you wanted to hear him say it.

“Its nothing bad! I just uhm, like you.” Ethan mumbles while scratching his face.

“What?” You heard him, You just wanted him to say it again.

“ I like you y/n, I've liked you for so long it's making me crazy.” Ethan's mouth begins to move faster than his brain. “ I've loved you ever since I've known you and- and I've tried to show you, The best days of my life revolve around you, it's always been you.” Ethan doesn't notice that you get up and start to walk to his side of the booth.

“ I’d do anything you want, I already do everything you want and I'm sorry if this is weird but your all I want-” You grab Ethan's hand from his lap as you sit next to him, Now he notices.

“Ethan how could i not like you? Youre like, the best person ive ever met.” You make sure he looks you in your eyes so he knows you really mean it.

“ You have so much kindness and patience and i admire that so much, You make me feel loved.” You say as you lean in to kiss him. Ethan was caught off guard but slowly he grabs your hips as you place your hand on the side of his arm. It was a long passionate kiss filled with years of yearning and love for each other.

As you began to pull away you see the same 3 weird people from the other table in front of you.

“Tara?!” It was Tara, Anika, and Chad dressed up, Anika Was recording.

“Is it official?” Tara asks with excitement. You and Ethan looked at each other before smiling and turning to the others and nodding.

Immediately Tara grabs you out of the booth and hugs you so tight you felt like you couldn't breathe, Anika also joining in. Chad and Ethan do their handshake they’ve practice for over a year, this time they perfected it.

“Dinner is on me!” Chad yells.

A/N; Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed!

Requests

[anurst]

Girl Bradshaw

Summary: You and Bradley had a complicated relationship as siblings. He walked out of your life when he turned 18 and never looked back. What happens when your teams are forced to work together? Worse (for him, at least), Jake has taken a serious interest in you.

Pairing(s): Jake "Hangman" Seresin x F! Bradshaw! reader

Warning(s): inaccurate description of military/marine, language, alcohol

Part 1: Braidy (y/n) Bradshaw

You weren't a violent person. You consider yourself a lover, not a fighter. If your mom taught you anything, it's that violence is not the solution to your problems.

However, when it came to your best friend, Jensen Kay, you were willing to forgo everything your mom taught you. The shit-eating smirk he was sending you made everything in your body heat up.

"You wanna admit that I was right, (y/n)?" You scoffed in response before turning your back to him. His bubbly laugh echoed from behind you as your face started to turn red. The woman behind the counter giggled at the pair of you before she took the cup from your hand.

"I can make you a different drink, ma'am. Matcha isn't for everyone. Is an iced coffee drink ok?," she asked as you mumbled thanks and moved to the pick up area with Jensen following behind you.

"She's right, (y/n). Matcha isn't for everyone. Don't take it to heart that you didn't like it," Jensen teased.

"Up your ass, Jen." The taller man smiled at your response before taking a sip of his matcha latte. His eyes wandered around the cafe before winking at a pair of women ogling him from a table. They giggled once more before turning away as you turned to look at them.

"You're killing my game," Jensen told you as you rolled your eyes. Your best friend was well known throughout the marine raiders as a womanizer. Maybe that's why you two were such a good pair. You weren't against casual hookups, you indulged every now and then, but you didn't do it as frequently as Jensen. Your career was more important to you which meant you didn't have much free time for relationships and such. Besides, it's not like you had much of a life outside of the raiders.

Your parents were long gone and it was a fact you accepted after your mom died. You had an aunt from your mother's side of the family that you spoke to every now and then since she took you in after your mom's passed. Bradley and Pete had been cut out of your life for a long time. Bradley more than Pete.

"Here you go! An iced coffee. I took the liberty of adding in vanilla syrup." The barista placed the drink in front of you as you smiled at her.

"Thank you again. I appreciate it."

"Don't worry about. By the way, you two make a cute couple!" Before you could explain that you and Jensen weren't together, the barista had walked away. A disgusted frown made its way to your face as Jensen snickered.

"How about we get outta here and head to work, babe?"

"Eat shit, shitter."

"Morning Bradshaw! Kay!" Amy grinned at you two. Jensen smiled at her and the two started conversing as you followed behind them. Your service uniform was always incredibly uncomfortable for you. Something about the tightness and formality of it made you scream internally. Of course, you never showed your discomfort on the outside. Years in the academy and in the raiders taught you how to mask your feelings.

Jensen held the door for you and Amy as all three of you walked into the conference room. Politely greeting everyone, you took a seat as the lights started to dim. Your eyes met Nolan's from your spot as you nodded at your elemental leader. Carlos and Ethan were seated next to them and they gave you a friendly smile and nod.

"Thank you all for coming on such quick notice," Ari said, standing tall at the head of the table, all eyes on him. "Normally, the rest of my squad would be here to plan out the assignment, however, the higher ups have deemed that it's only necessary that I work on this." Ari Chambers was a man who respected by all. He was an efficient SOO and got the job done. His own squad was famed for their intelligence when it came to planning your assignments.

"Sir, if I may, why is it that only half our tactical squad was called for this assignment. Wouldn't it make more sense to have all of our combined skill?" Amy asked from besides you.

"The higher ups made it clear that the less people who know about this assignment, the better. I requested that only the people in this room be called back. In my personal opinion, this tactical squad is the stronger of the two in the first battalion. You have a fine squad, Meadows." Nolan nodded in appreciation as Ari continued. "Of course, it won't just be the raiders on this assignment. You'll be accompanied by a squadron of naval aviators, the best I've been assured. They'll take care of the skies while you work on the ground. They'll be arriving to Camp Pendleton within the next day in order to go over the assignment with us. I except everyone on their best behaviors."

You could see from the corner of your eye, Ethan holding back an eye roll at the comment. "Problem, Kim?" Startled, Ethan shook his head as Carlos, Jensen, and Amy turned to him with amused eyes. You and Nolan kept your focus on Ari as he opened a folder. "The squadron you'll be cooperating with has been dubbed as the "Dagger Squad." They'll be led by Captain Pete Mitchell. Callsign: Maverick."

'shit'

"Can't believe we have to actually work with naval aviators," Ethan complained from the seat behind you as Amy elbowed him. He and Amy were sitting in the seats behind you, and Nolan and Carlos were seated behind them. Jensen was sat to your right in the passenger's seat as you drove to the bar that your squad loved to drink at every time you were in California.

"I'm sure they won't be that bad," Amy reasoned as Carlos snickered from behind her. "Kim's just upset cause he got ghosted by naval aviator once."

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yu-huh!"

"Children," Nolan warned as Ethan and Carlos quickly stopped arguing. Amy started talking about a movie she saw recently as Jensen turned to you.

"You good?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" you questioned, your eyes momentarily meeting his. Your grip on the steering wheel tightened as you thought back to Ari's words. Scoffing, Jensen rolled his eyes.

"Fine, be like that." Clicking your tongue, you sighed. You didn't like when Jensen gave you a taste of your own attitude. It reminded you of how bitter you became when the topic of your estranged family came up.

"I don't know if I can work with him."

"Captain Mitchell?"

"Yeah."

"Not to be harsh, but it doesn't matter if you think you can't. You're gonna have to so this mission is successful."

"I know. I'm gonna have to act like I can tolerate him, when in reality I want nothing more than to scream at him."

The sign of the The Gunny came into view as your squadmates cheered. Quickly parking and filing out, Carlos slung his arm around your shoulders before shaking you. "You gonna play us another song, (y/n)?" Smirking, you agreed as your group made its way inside.

Bodies in uniform and civies filled your vision as you greeted familiar faces. A smile made its way to your face as you approached the man behind the bar. "You miss me, handsome?" you teased the blond, who's eyes widened and smile widen upon seeing you.

"(y/n)! You're back," Zack sweetly cheered as he hugged you as best he could from behind the counter.

"For you? Always." Zack playfully rolled his eyes as he started pulling out beers for you and your squad.

"I'm assuming everyone else is here if you are."

"Yep," you said popping the 'p'.

"The first round's on the house. I'll see you in between rounds? Oh, and your guitar's still here!"

Giving the blond a wink and smile, you nodded before taking the beers and heading to your group's usual spot. Upon seeing you with drinks, your friends cheered and laughs started to flow around.

A couple drinks in and your squad, minus Nolan and you, had flushed cheeks and wide smiles. "(y/n), you're gonna perform for us, right?!" Amy widely smiled at you as everyone else smiled and agreed. You also smiled as you turned to look at Nolan.

"Only if our fearless leader joins me," you teased. Rolling his eyes, Nolan stood and offered you a hand. Giggling, you followed him towards the small stage and quickly grabbed your guitar that was mantled on the wall.

Your friends and other marines started to cheer and gathered around the stage. Like Jensen, you has a reputation within the raiders. When your squad was stationed in Oceanside, it was a guaranteed that you were the one who would start a performance. You'd say that it was in your genes to perform music for people.

Nolan started playing the drums from behind you and as you started playing on your guitar. People that recognized the tune of the song started cheering.

Mmm, yeah!

Tonight, I want to give it all to you In the darkness, there's so much I want to do And tonight, I want to lay it at your feet 'Cause girl, I was made for you And girl, you were made for me

I was made for lovin' you, baby You were made for lovin' me And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me?

Your eyes met Zack as he laughed and shook his head. He'd seen you perform multiple times and each was as memorable as the last. His favorite was when you and Jensen were absolutely drunk and got the entire bar to sing Kids In America.

Tonight, I want to see it in your eyes Feel the magic, there's something that drives me wild And tonight, we're gonna make it all come true 'Cause girl, you were made for me And girl, I was made for you

I was made for lovin' you, baby You were made for lovin' me And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me?

The entire bar has joined in and a wide smile made it was to your face as you pointed to your friends who sang even louder.

I was made for lovin' you, baby You were made for lovin' me And I can give it all to you, baby Can you give it all to me?

Oh, can't get enough I can't get enough I can't get enough

As your eyes watched the crowd go wild, a familiar Hawaiian shirt peeked out from behind a group of guys and your eyes furrowed momentarily.

I was made for lovin' you, baby You were made for lovin' me And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me?

Oh, I was made You were made I can't get enough No, I can't get enough

I was made for lovin' you, baby You were made for lovin' me And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me?

You cheered as claps and howls sounded throughout the bar. Turning to Nolan, you grinned as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. You both bowed and hopped off the stage before joining your friends.

Amy shook your shoulders and brought you in for a hug as the guys patted Nolan on the back. Face a little flushed, you excused yourself and made your way over to Zack. Requesting another beer, you waited for him to finish up with other people.

"Quite a show you put on," a man said from your side. Turning to him, you smiled at him. His green made your cheeks heat up slightly as thanked him. "I didn't know the raiders required sing lessons."

Giggling, you shook your head. "What can I say? Naturally gifted. My folks used to say it was a genetic thing."

"Gifted, indeed," the sandy-blond man grinned. "Jake Seresin." Nodding, you momentarily turned away to thank Zack as he passed you a beer.

"So, Jake Seresin. What're you doing in The Gunny? Never seen you here before."

"In Oceanside for work. I'm a naval aviator."

Raising your eyebrow, you let out a breathy laugh. "It was nice meeting you, but naval aviators are a big no for me." Jake's grin fell for a second before he grabbed your wrist as you turned away.

"Got your heart broken by one?" he asked as you chuckled.

"Three."

"I won't be number four."

Shaking your head, you removed your wrist from Jake's hold. "Sorry, Jake, but I'm just too busy." Quickly turning away, you started making your war back to your friends before stopping as Jake called out after you.

"I'll be by the pools table with my friends if you change your mind!"

Giving him an amused smile, you continued your walk to your friends before sliding into a seat. Exhaling, you tried to hide your red cheeks. Ever the observant one, Ethan whistled and wiggled his eyebrows at you. "Who's got you all red, (y/n)?"

"None of your business," you answered as Jensen and Carlos snorted. Amy smirked at you as she leaned closer to you.

"Come onnnnnnnn. Tell us," she whined as Jensen joined her from your other side. Grumbling, you looked at Nolan with pleading eyes. The older man simply raised his hands in surrender.

"Don't look at me. I wanna know, too."

Groaning, you buried your face into your hands as your friends continued to tease you. "Fine! Some dirty blond with cute green eyes. Approached me at the bar and introduced himself. Jake Seresin."

Amy squealed as the guys started to cheer. "Here's the kicker. He's a naval aviator."

Ethan's face dropped as Jensen and Carlos cackled at his face. Amy and Nolan smiled at you before Carlos suggested you go for after him. While everyone agreed, you started waving them off. "Naval aviators are a big no for me."

"Oh come on! He had you all flustered! I've never seen you like that," Amy reasoned as everyone nodded.

"Don't stop yourself from going after him just cause I have problems with aviators," Ethan added.

Biting your lip, you looked down at your beer. Jensen quickly rubbed your back as he lowered his voice, "Not everyone is gonna hurt you, (y/n)." Sighing, you nodded before standing tall. Your friends cheered as you turned and made your way to the pool tables.

Immediately spotting Jake, you called out to him. Grinning, Jake turned to you. Smiling at him, you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear before your smile fell. The same Hawaiian shirt you saw earlier popped out from behind Jake. Stepping around the dirty-blond, you called out to the person wearing the shirt.

"Bradley?"

{A little guide to who everyone is since I didn't properly introduce them:

Jensen Kay- CSO in your squad

Ethan Kim- CSO in your squad

Carlos Ruiz- CSO in your squad

Amy Clarke- SARC in your squad

Nolan Meadows- your squad's elemental leader

Ari Chambers- SOO of the HQ half of the first battalion

Zack Ramsey- owner of the The Gunny

Braidy (y/n) Bradshaw- CSO

From what I've read the Marine Raider Regiment (MARSOC) is spit into three battalions. (y/n) is a raider within the first battalion which is stationed at Camp Pendleton in Oceanside, CA (45 minutes from Miramar actually). Each battalion is split into two sides, the HQ side and the tactical side. Ari is apart of the first battalion's HQ side and everyone else is apart of the tactical side. There's actually two squads on the tactical side but for the sake of story I only include one squad. If there's anything else I seemed to miss, feel free to tell me and I consider making some changes}

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

i know your already working on my series but just hear me out okay. hear me out. crazy x crazy trope but with ethan and reader puts bratty cocky ethan in his place. "not so confident now are you, you little bitch? or are you that drunk off my pussy you can barely think?" while he just pouts and glares at her but is quite literally unable to speak and can only whine and whimper for her. double points if she's ghostface with the baileys, taking revenge because of lets say she was either ambers ex or younger sister and is PISSED at tara for taking her girlfriend/older sister away. (TRIPLE THE POINTS if she knew ethan, quinn and richie since childhood too) sorry its thot hrs and i wanna dom him

I hope you like this! I was determined to finish it tonight. I love a good psychotic moment💕

Savages - Ghostface!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: You and your childhood best friend both lost someone from what happened in Woodsboro at the hands of the Carpenter Sisters. You start to plot with him and his family to get revenge, but he's being a little brat after his first kill.

Contains: 3.2k words, Sub!Ethan, Dom/Psycho!Reader, Oral - m and f recieving, Face sitting/riding, p in v, unprotected sex, mentions of death and violence/blood. (If I missed anything, please let me know. My brain has tapped out for the night haha)

A/N: I hope y'all like it:) I love sub Ethan and a good psycho!reader moment.

Ethan knew he loved you, but the second you put on the Ghostface robe and mask, he fell even harder. It’s hard to believe that the two of you made it to this point. He was a sweet kid, and you were always with his family growing up, until the day your parents moved you to Woodsboro. You tried to remain friends with him, until you got a girlfriend. You weren’t anything more than best friends at that point, but he’d message you like a controlling boyfriend. He professed his feelings, but it was too late. You’d already found someone in your new town. Someone you could experience a relationship with.

He was devastated when you rejected him, and when he wouldn’t let it go, you eventually had to block him. Amber was pretty much the exact opposite. She even asked you about opening the relationship up to other people, just because she wanted you to experience other things. She wasn’t possessive like Ethan, but she never wanted to just let you go.

When Richie showed up to the hospital with Sam after Tara was attacked, he recognized you immediately. He pretended he didn’t, though, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that he wasn’t originally from the area where he met Sam. You finally pulled him to the side one day and talked to him, and he pleaded with you to not tell anyone that you already knew him. That was the moment that you knew he had something to do with what was happening.

You didn’t suspect Amber, though, until the day of the party. You were upstairs in her room when she pulled out a knife.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she said, plunging the knife into your abdomen.

“What the fuck? It’s you?” you sobbed, dropping to your knees as you noticed the blood starting to drip onto her carpet.

“I can’t have you on the suspect list. You trust me, don’t you?” she asked. You hesitated before nodding, “I didn’t stab you anywhere that will cause a lot of damage, okay? I’m going to call 911, and by the time they get here, Richie and I will be done, and you’ll be saved.”

“I feel really dizzy,” you cried out, Amber’s hand wrapping around your mouth so you couldn’t make anymore noise to draw attention to yourself.

“You’re going to pass out soon. You’re losing a lot of blood,” she said, before the rest of her words sounded muffled, your vision completely fading.

She was right, you were saved. You woke up in your hospital bed the next day, and learned that Amber and Richie didn’t survive. You were devastated, but you knew the one person you could talk to that would understand your pain.

You unblocked Ethan’s number and called him. You could hear the tears in his voice as he answered. When he found out that you’d been a part of everything, he was mad at first, screaming at you until his voice was raw. He eventually heard you out, mainly because he had no voice to speak, and learned that you had nothing to do with what happened to Richie. The two of you decided that the Carpenter sisters needed to pay for taking away your loved ones.

You fake-smiled when Sam and Tara walked into your hospital room a little later in the day.

“Someone’s doing better,” Sam said, pushing Tara up beside you before taking a seat at the foot of your hospital bed.

“Yeah, I’m on a lot of good drugs,” you laughed, as Sam and Tara exchanged their glances. “What?” you asked, feeling like there was something they knew and you didn’t.

“Richie and Amber were, uh…” Tara said, looking over to her sister for help.

“They were what?” you asked, turning your attention to Sam as well.

“Your girlfriend and my boyfriend were together,” she said, a stoic look on her face. “We were both getting cheated on by psychos.”

You were livid that Sam was talking about her like that, but you felt a little hurt. You and Amber always promised that if you were going to see other people in your relationship, you’d let the other person know. A few tears started to slip out as Tara offered you the box of tissues on the bedside table.

“Thanks,” you said, grabbing a couple out of the box before Tara sat it back down. “How do you guys feel about getting the fuck out of here? Like, once Tara and I graduate?”

“What did you have in mind?” Sam asked, thinking that it might not be the worst idea.

“I think we should go to New York. I grew up there, and I really think you guys would like it,” you smiled, as Tara nodded.

“Fuck it, let’s start looking into schools. After you get out of here, of course.”

You called Ethan, squealing in excitement when you and all your friends got their acceptance letters. That’s when the plan was officially set into motion, with the help of Quinn and his dad. Having a detective on your side of things was going to heavily benefit the outcome of everything, and you couldn’t wait to make the people that took Amber from you pay for what they’d done.

Once you started school, you were ‘introduced’ to Ethan. No one could know that the two of you already knew each other in attempts to not ruin the plan before you got to do any damage. Fortunately for the two of you, when you immediately hit it off and seemed to have your own little inside jokes, they chalked it up to young love.

You weren’t official with Ethan for a while, until your “Friends’” constant nagging about it convinced you to give him the chance he wanted. Once you found out that poor boy was a virgin, and you helped him out with that, he was wrapped around your finger. He worshipped the ground you walked on and would do anything you asked him to. The only thing he hated was when you brought up Amber. He hated that she got you first.

The night Ghostface “killed” Quinn and actually killed Anika, you were waiting in the alley on the opposite side of the building for your boyfriend to finish what he went in there to do. You were both supposed to be in econ, but you were his alibi. They’d never suspect you, so they could never suspect Ethan if you said you were with him in class.

He was stripping off the robe as he bolted down the fire escape. He tossed it down to you, and you quickly put it in your backpack as he joined you to walk in a normal pace towards the alley exit at the back of the building.

“How was it?” you asked, smiling at him.

“God, baby. It was the biggest rush. I wish you could’ve been in there with me,” he said, pulling you into a kiss once you made it onto the sidewalk.

“I’m so proud of you. You’re doing such a good job for me,” you praised, ruffling your fingers in his hair a little as he started to pull away. “I can’t wait to make the others pay for what they did to Amber.”

He huffed, his irritation at the mention of her name obvious as you cocked your eyebrow at him. “Do you have a problem?”

“Yeah, I do. I was so excited about what just happened, but then you mention your stupid fucking ex. I feel like she’s all you care about,” he said, his angry tone and harsh remarks about Amber pissing you off. “We’re in this together, remember? Me and you?”

“Yeah, and your dad, and Quinn.”

He started to walk away from you, heading towards his dorm. You followed him, trying to keep up with his pace.  

“Quit acting like such a brat,” you said, a few feet behind him on the otherwise empty sidewalk.

“Quit being such a bitch,” he muttered, but the second those words left his mouth, he knew he was in trouble. You quickened your pace, slamming him against the brick wall the second you made it to him.

“What did you call me?” you asked, his eyes going wide at the lust in your tone. He stayed silent, just watching you. “Huh, nothing to say now?” you scoffed, “You know I’m in charge here, baby.”

You pulled away, smiling sweetly at him as you took his hand in yours.

The walk back to the dorm was silent because Ethan knew what he was in for. He was excited, but also nervous. The few scenarios where he did decide to get mouthy with you ended in him being edged to the point of tears, begging you to finally let him cum. He was hard at the thought, but he was always scared you’d just walk away and not let him get the release he needed.

Once you made it inside the dorm he shared with Chad, you knew you had plenty of time to be alone with him. Chad probably wasn’t coming back for the night, but you knew you’d have to get back home at some point.

“Take your clothes off,” you said to Ethan, the stern tone in your voice making him comply. You watched him shed each article of clothing and smirked when you saw the tent in his boxers once he removed his jeans. “Aww, baby. Did you get hard from killing someone? Or was it me pushing you against the wall earlier?” you cooed, as he slid his boxers down, his cock standing at attention in from of you.

“It’s because of you,” he said, his arms resting at his sides as he waited for you to tell him what to do next.

“That was the right answer,” you smiled, “Lay back on the bed.”

He did what you said, watching you intently. You walked over to him, and started to stroke his cock that was resting against his tummy.

“Fuck,” he groaned, before you leaned down and took him in your mouth. He thought you were going to take it easy on him tonight, until you pulled your head away after a minute, his cock drenched in your spit. “Babe,” he whined out.

You rolled your eyes at his neediness. “I want you to grab your cock and start stroking, baby.”

He did what you said, your saliva making his hand glide up and down with ease. After a few minutes, he started to whine.

“This doesn’t feel as good as when you do it,” he whimpered, the tip of his cock turning red as he tried to get himself to cum.

“Well, that’s too bad, baby. What was it that you called me?” you fake-pondered, your pointer finger going in between your teeth, “Oh that’s right. I’m a bitch.”

“I didn’t mean it,” he said, his eyes pleading for you to touch him again. You noticed his hand was no longer moving.

“Did I say you could stop?” you questioned, as his hand movements started back up. “Good boy.” He whined at your words, his hand moving faster. “Do you want me to keep praising you, baby?”

He nodded his head as he kept going.

“You did such a good job tonight. You know how wet you made me when you killed her?” you said, your sadistic side on full display. “I’m so proud of you for doing whatever I ask you to.”

You noticed he was starting to get close, his hand moving even faster and his heaving chest, along with his whimpers making it obvious. Just as he was about to cum, you stopped him.

“Don’t you fucking cum,” you scolded, his hand coming to a stop as he started to whine even more from the lost orgasm.

“I needed it so bad,” he begged, as you shook your head.

“I don’t know if you deserve to cum. Maybe if you didn’t feel the need to call me names…” you trailed off, as he started to get really frustrated.

“I wouldn’t have called you that if you wouldn’t have brought her up,” he snapped, your eyes getting dark at his words.

“Hmm, I think someone’s a little insecure. Are you worried that she fucked me better than you do?” you questioned, “Because I don’t know what other reason you have to be jealous of someone that’s dead.”

“Stop talking about her,” he said, growing furious at the thought of you having sex with someone else.

“You are just too cute,” you said, slipping your shirt over your head. “I can’t believe that you think you’re going to have the upper hand in this, ya know? Like you really think that I’m going to stop talking about her. I loved her, Ethan.”

His eyes stayed on you as you continued to strip out of your clothes,

“What? Cat got your tongue, baby? You have nothing to say?” you asked, sliding your panties down. “Even if you did, I know the perfect way to shut you up.”

You crawled up on the bed, your knees right beside his head as you swung your leg over to straddle his face.

“You better make me cum, or you don’t get to cum. Got it?” you asked, as he nodded before you lowered yourself.

His tongue gently moved against your clit at first. He knew just how you liked it, so he wanted to pace himself. Once he started to lick a little faster, your hands went down to his curls as you really started to ride his face.

“You’re doing so good, baby,” you moaned out, his hands going to your hips as he helped you move against his mouth.

You whimpered when his tongue dipped inside you, the muscle massaging your walls as he ate you out. Once he could tell you were getting close, he lifted your hips a little to focus on your clit again. The second he sucked it into his mouth, you started to feel your orgasm building. You gripped the headboard to keep yourself stable, your hands and legs starting to shake.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you whined out, one hand staying on the headboard as your other went back to his hair. You were tugging at it as that euphoric feeling hit, his groaning from your pulling making the orgasm more intense. He kept your hips moving until you rode out your high, your body getting a little tired from the release.

You got off his face as he tried to catch his breath. He was anticipating what you’d do next, because he made you cum, and he was hoping you’d keep up your end of the deal. You didn’t say anything as you straddled his waist and lined his cock leaking precum with your entrance. He groaned out when you sank down, the feeling making his brain turn to mush.

You started slowly; your hands placed on his chest as you took your time. He was desperate for more, but you weren’t going to give in that easily.

“You aren’t so cocky now, are you? You little bitch.” You put extra emphasis on that word because that’s what he called you, and he needed to know his place. He glared at you as you continued to take your time with him.

Whimpers flooded out of his mouth when you started to bounce on him, his cock almost completely out of you before you sank back down onto him. His hands went to your hips to help you keep your pace feeling like he was finally getting somewhere. He started to babble, his words sounding like ‘I fucking love your pussy’. You smirked at his current state.

“Look at you, so drunk off my pussy that you can’t even talk,” you said, your breathing getting heavy as the tip of his cock kept hitting your g-spot. “Are you okay, sweet boy?”

He started to whimper again, his orgasm quickly approaching. You decided to let him cum, as you leaned forward, your chest almost pressed against his. He gripped your hips harder as he started to thrust up into you, your hips rolling back to meet each one.

Your orgasm was right on the edge, your walls starting to flutter a little. He was trying so hard to get you through another one before he came.

“Fuck, baby. I’m cumming,” you moaned out, as his whines got even louder. Your walls spasmed around him, making his breath hitch in his throat.

The skin slapping and his sounds were bouncing around the room as he kept pounding into you.

“Can I please cum?” he begged, praying that you’d say yes.

You were proud of him for using his words that he hadn’t been able to form. “Yes, baby.”

He whimpered out as his hot cum painted your walls, his grip on your hips getting shaky as he slowed your movements.

“Holy fuck,” he said, his hands rubbing against your back as his cock stayed inside of you.

You listened to his heartbeat as you got out of your dominating headspace, starting to feel a little bad.

“I’m sorry I talk about her so much. I really loved her,” you mumbled against his chest.

“I guess I just feel like I’m always coming in second place to her,” he sighed, sadness in his voice.

“You aren’t, though. I think we would’ve ended up together one way or another,” you laughed a little as he kissed the top of your head.

“After we’re done with all of this, can we just focus on us?” he asked, as you nodded against him.

You laid there for a few more minutes, before remembering that you needed to head back to the apartment.

“I have to go, baby,” you said, sitting up. He groaned as you slid him out of you.

“Do you have to?” he asked, wanting nothing more than for you to stay in his bed with him a little longer.

“If we want this plan to work, then yes,” you said, noticing his cum dripping down your inner thighs as you tried to grab your clothes off the floor. “You came a lot, fuck.”

You grabbed some tissues and wiped it from your thighs before you started to put your clothes back on. He started to laugh a little as you glanced over to him. “What?”

“My cum is going to keep dripping out of you,” he said, as you rolled your eyes.

“Lucky for you, I think it’s hot. It’s a nice little reminder of how good I made you feel,” you said with a smile. “I love you, baby,” you said, kissing him before grabbing your purse and rushing out of the room.

“I love you, too.”

You’d almost made it to the apartment when you noticed all the flashing lights up ahead and could see Mindy and Chad sitting on the sidewalk.

“What’s going on?” you asked, looking around to see the black tarp covering a body in the alley.

“Anika,” was all that Tara could say, before Sam spoke up, “And Quinn. Our apartment is a crime scene right now.”

“Oh my god,” you said, turning on your crocodile tears as you looked over to Mindy. “I’m so sorry.”

“Was Ethan in class tonight?” she asked coldly, her question catching you off guard.

“Yeah, he was sitting beside me the whole time. Then we went back to his dorm for a little bit before I came home,” you lied, as she started to shake her head.

“None of this makes any fucking sense.”

[girlylukehughes]

Casual ~ Luke Hughes

Description: Luke thinks things are casual between him and y/n… she doesn't feel that way anymore.  Warnings: angst, unresolved ending, smut, p in v(protected), oral(f receiving), mixed signals, asshole! Luke, anxiety attack/symptoms mentioned, naive reader(i think??) 

authors note: i’ve never written smut before this so bear with me okay

(flashbacks in italics)

When you agreed to be friends with benefits with Luke 6 months ago you never thought the argument you were having right now would happen. On opposite sides of his room in the sophomore house, his head in his hands as he sits on his blue comforter, you basically burning a hole into the carpet with your pacing. This whole argument started when you overheard the conversation he was having with Ethan and Mark outside of Yost. 

“So you and y/n have been together for a while now huh?” Mark said to Luke.

 “Yeah it's been like 6 months now bro, when are you finally gonna post her on  your insta?” 

Luke let out a chuckle, “Never gonna happen.” Mark and Ethan turn to each other, confused, “what do you mean Luke? Is this like a Hughes thing and you don’t want her to get hate?” 

“Mark, I could truly care less. She’s just a girl I bang on our couch sometimes. We're not together. Not gonna ever happen.” You can feel the tears welling in your eyes, throat burning. Over Luke’s tall shoulder Ethan spots you, mouth in a frown, a single tear slipping down your cheek.

 “Bro…” He whispers quietly, his tone full of sympathy and worry. He nods his head behind Luke causing him to look back at you. You stand there roughly rubbing that tear off your cheek so he can't see it, but he already saw, he felt nothing about it though.

 “Y/n,” he sighed out, you cut him off with a sniffle, “You know I thought you thought of me better than that but I guess I’m just the girl you occasionally fuck. Only good enough to keep your dick wet when you got tired of fucking anything in a skirt.” The tears are freely falling now, Ethan and Mark behind Luke look devastated for you, Luke himself just looks pissed.

 “Y/n we agreed that there were no attachments. You can’t get all upset when you’re the one who broke that. We said if we catch feelings it will stop.”

 “Then it never should have started Luke!” you screamed at him. His face turned to one of shock before going back to its pissed off scowl. 

“We're not doing this here. Get in the car, we're going home.” Luke starts walking towards his car, looking back once he realizes you're not following.

 “Luke, I'm not doing this. I’m done freely following every word you say, I'm not gonna follow you like a lost little puppy.”

 “Y/n please just get in the car so we can talk. I'll let you have the floor, you can talk. I'll listen please.” You sigh, following him to the car. The drive over to the sophomore house takes less than five minutes. The quietest five minutes of your lives. This leaves you where you are now. 

“Are you gonna say something or what?” Luke says, his voice muffled by the hands over his face. 

“You know Luke, you said this was “Casual” but what's casual about you, a week ago, your head between my thighs while you ate me out in the front seat of your car while you whispered things like ‘i love you’ and ‘you’re the only girl for me’? What is casual about that?” Your voice raises with each question. Luke looks up from his hands, his face twisted with confusion and regret. “Y/n/n-”  “No,” you cut him off, “It's my turn to talk. That's what you wanted right? You said I got the floor. So now it's your turn to shut up and listen. How was it casual when two weeks after this started your mom came up to me talking about how much you ‘talk about me’ and then she  invited me to the lake house this summer? Was it casual when Jack called me mid anxiety attack because he felt like his chest was caving in and I had to talk him through it?” You make your way over to his dresser opening the top drawer, “What's casual about me keeping my favorite clothes here because YOU asked me to? My favorite bra literally lives in your dresser Luke. You know I try to be the cool, chill girl but you know what I can’t fake it anymore! I’m not that girl! I have feelings, I care!” 

“Why didn’t you fucking say something then!” He finally shouts, “You didn’t have to leave your shit here if you didn’t want to! You didn’t have to deal with Jack, he’s not your fucking responsibility!” 

“But I fucking wanted to! Jesus Luke! I was delusional enough to think that you actually liked me! I had this stupid idea in my head that when you went to Jersey you’d ask me to go with you! That next year it would just be me and you! We’d have an apartment and you’d finally show me off to your friends! But no, I’m just dumb and in love with an asshole.” You sigh, sliding your back down the door, sitting on the floor with your knees to your chest. 

“You’re in love with me?” he whispers out. “Why?” 

“It was that dinner with your parents last month. That did it for me.” 

“Hey, are you almost ready?” Luke asks as he walks up behind you in the mirror, his hands on your waist. 

“Yeah, I just need to put my earrings in and we can go.” Smiling at Luke in the mirror, his face goes to your neck and he lightly sucks on the pulse point a small whine coming from your mouth. “Luke stop, I can’t show up to dinner with your parents with a giant hickey on my neck.” 

“Fine,” he huffs out. 

The drive to the restaurant is about 45 minutes of his hand inching further and further up your thigh, at one point teasing the edge of your panties before moving back down. Knowing you’re all worked up, Luke smirks at you before parking the car and getting out to open your door. Holding hands the whole way to the table you greet his parents with hugs and take a seat across from Ellen, Luke next to you and across from Jim. Halfway through dinner, Luke’s middle finger makes contact with your clit through your panties. Crossing your legs and trapping his hand, you lightly shift your body for more contact, that's when the idea sparks in his head. “Hey while we wait for dessert to come out I'm gonna go show her the tulip garden outside, they’re her favorite” Luke smiles at his parents. 

“Alright hun just don't take too long, wouldn’t want your dad to eat all the dessert,” Ellen jokes. 

“We’ll be quick, promise” You smile at her. Luke helps you out of your chair before taking your hand and leading you towards the back door. Once his parents are no longer watching he pulls you down the side hallway and into the bathroom, trapping you between him and the sink. 

“So pretty,” he whispers, stroking your cheek with his thumb before kissing you long and hard. Your body sinks into him, deepening the kiss. 

“Need you Luke,” you say looking up at him through your eyelashes. Your hands fumble with his belt as his hands work your dress over your hips, and sliding your panties down. His strong fingers find your clit again, rubbing in painfully slow circles on the bundle of nerves before slipping them further back and into you. A sigh leaving your mouth mixes with the groan leaving his as you palm him through his boxers. Pulling away before he slides his pants down and grabbing the condom out of his back pocket, you unbutton his shirt, raking your fingers up and down his toned stomach.

“Please Luke,” you whine, rushing him to put the condom on as you slide the straps of your dress down exposing your chest. In two seconds flat he's lifting you onto the counter and sliding his hard cock into you, hushed moans leaving both of you before he reattaches his mouth to yours before pumping into you harder and faster. 

“Love this pussy,” he whispers against your lips. “Love these lips too.” Your brain fogs over at the words leaving his mouth. Love.  He’s never said that before. Usually it's just possessive things like “this is mine” and “no one else gets you like this”. Love meant something else to you. Angling your hips, he hits that soft spongy spot in you and you’re seeing stars and your orgasm hits you hard, clinging to him tight. The feeling of you squeezing around him tips him over the edge. Luke waits a minute before pulling out and throwing the condom in the trash before wetting a paper towel and cleaning up between your thighs. Instead of giving you your panties he slips them into his back pocket before saying with a smirk, “You can have them back later if you're a good girl.” Straightening out your dress and  turning around to face the mirror you get a sense of deja vu as the scene from two hours earlier repeats itself with Luke kissing up your neck from behind until he reaches your lips. Pulling away a minute later he helps flatten out your hair as you fix his curls. Making your way back to the table hand in hand before digging into the dessert that arrived long ago. 

“Y/n, that was just a bathroom fuck. Why are you being so bitter about it?” Luke scoffs. 

“Luke I fucked you in a restaurant bathroom, while your parents were sitting at a table waiting for us and you wonder why I’m bitter? God you’re more dense than I thought. You know what? Just go back to bragging to your friends about fucking me and having me sit there and look stupid while you clearly don’t give a fuck about me for more than my body and what you get from it.” You open his bedroom door, making your way down the stairs with him following you. 

“Y/n, baby don’t leave, come on we can fix this.” 

“No.” you whisper, before finally looking into his eyes. Eyes that are now filled with a shine of tears and regret. “I hate that I let this drag on for as long as I did. I fucking hate myself for it.”

“Y/n please-” cutting him off, looking straight into his eyes, “Go to hell Luke.” Slamming the front door and walking home, the heavy weight on your chest gone.

[kyber-crystal]

learning to warm cold hands || ethan hunt

summary: after a particular mission, sunshine isn’t sunshine anymore, and it worries him. (aka a cliche angst to fluff fic with the following tropes: slightly sunshine and super sunshine, who did this to you, etc)

words: ~1.4k

warnings: angst, brief descriptions of violence, ethan being overly concerned for reader, but not much else asides from that 

a/n: first ethan fic (requested by a lovely anon, thank you!!) and second mission impossible fic! btw, this fic is kind of an AU? i don't have a specific timeline for when it happens, so you can squeeze it in wherever :)

“Y/N, status update?”

“Northwest exit, 430 meters. I have one on my tail. But you know I’m Usain Bolt 2.0! I can definitely outrun this doofus, I mean, I bet my mile time is way better than his. I could've gone to the Olympics, for God’s sake. The Olympics! Where are you?”

“Stay there, I’ll come find you.”

“Ethan, wait, you can't just tell me to—“ You don’t even get to finish before a an explosive sound echoes across the narrow alleyway. You make a sharp left turn but find that you’d just hit a dead end. The door was locked. Shit. You only had one bullet left and there was a guy who was definitely at least twice your weight—and over a foot taller, too—coming after you. You wouldn't even have enough time to reload.

“Y/N. Y/N—“

You don’t get to hear the rest of what he’s saying before the static fizzes out and you lose connection.

“Hey there!” You give the beefy man who’s now mere meters away from you a cheerful smile. “Lovely weather today, don’t you think? Too bad it’s going to rain tomorrow. I love the rain but I hate lightning, because I almost got struck a year ago.”

He doesn't look too happy at this, whipping his gun out without a moment’s hesitation. You squeeze your eyes shut and pray as you slide the bullet in and he pins you against the wall by your neck. 

He brings the gun to your head, and your weapon clatters to the ground. You curse under your breath. You can feel your airways constricting and there's a searing pain working its way through you. 

“You're not going anywhere, princess.”

There's a split-second; a microsecond in which he pauses. Very briefly. You don't think, just do—you knee him in the groin, hard, and quickly grab the knife that's sheathed in your boot. 

Saying one last prayer, you plunge the blade in, not even looking to see if you'd aimed right. He falls to the floor, stumbling, and you then lunge forward to disarm him. 

Another deafening gunshot rings out just as Ethan rounds the corner and finds you there, standing over the man’s dead body like the angel of death. A pool of blood surrounds your feet, and he doesn't think he wants to know if that's yours or his. 

“You made it out alive. Good job out there.”

Glancing over at him, you nod, but don't say anything. You toss him the data files without another word, and board the plane. 

“I'm proud of you.”

More strained silence. Huh, weird… he thinks. 

“Y/N, are you alright?”

No response. Ethan repeats himself again, “Are you alright? Did something happen?”

You strap yourself into your seat and tilt your head back, digging your nails into your wrist. Anything was better than being awake right now…

“Well, someone's uncharacteristically quiet.”

Still no response. Not even a snarky quip like you'd typically reply with. No nicknames, no bickering, no random fun fact you googled on the way over here. “Did you know that a pig can digest an entire human body, bones and all? That makes me think a little extra every time we pass through the European countryside and see one of them.” 

All he gets is silence from your end, and it starts to worry him. 

That’s when he follows your gaze downwards. You're clutching the left side of your abdomen, trying your best not to make a sound. 

His blood runs cold and his eyes darken. You can feel the pure rage radiating off him. 

“Did he hurt you?”

“No…shit…Sherlock…” you croak out. 

“You're hurt.”

No response again. 

“Y/N, what the hell happened out there and who did this to you?”

More silence. 

“Y/N, what did he do to you? How did he hurt you?”

After several more questions and several more failed replies, he forcefully moves your hand aside. Your shirt is stained a deep red and there's a gaping hole much bigger than Ethan wanted to see. 

“You got shot.” He sighs. “Luther, how much longer?”

“Hour and five, but we can get there in 38.”

“Hurry.”

“On it.”

Ilsa brings him a thick roll of bandages. He tries to be as careful as possible as he disinfects and wraps up your torso, but every so often, you wince in pain. 

“I'm sorry, sweetheart, just a few more minutes,” Ethan hurriedly apologizes. “Hang in there for me, okay?”

Once he's done, he sits down next to you and laces your fingers together, giving your hand a squeeze. You let out a shuddering sigh and slumped against him. 

He pretends not to notice your watering eyes, or the crescent-shaped marks in your wrist. Or the way your left foot nervously taps out the rhythm to yours and his favorite song. Or the way your tears leave faint red tracks behind as they slip down your cheeks. 

“I'm so sorry,” he repeats over and over again, “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.”

You don't sleep a wink that night. On any other day in Paris, you'd walk down to the farmer’s market below. You’d pick out Ethan’s favorite fruit and a new beret to have him wear jokingly, and maybe grab a croissant or two. Then you’d drag him along to the Louvre and point out each painting one by one and explain in great detail why you loved them so much. And he’d listen, because he could live purely off the sound of your voice for the rest of his life. He was never one for museums, but you loved them, and because he loved you, he started to love them, too.

But it's dark out, and after what had just happened the other day, you don't feel safe enough to leave the apartment. You tossed and turned for over half an hour before falling asleep, but jolted awake just a few minutes later, shivering violently. There was no way you were going to try and go to sleep again.  

Ethan stirs awake, rubbing his eyes to see a dark figure slipping out the door. 

He's quick to follow you up the staircase and to the rooftop. You're standing there in just a T-shirt (was that his?) and shorts, and it's freezing cold out, but you're sweating and fanning yourself. 

“Y/N?”

You turn around at the sound of his voice. “Ethan…”

“What are you doing up here? I was worried about you.” He makes his way over to you and puts a hand on your shoulder, obvious concern on his face. 

You bit your lip and started digging your nails into your wrist again. 

“Talk to me, Y/N,” he pleaded. “Tell me what's wrong.” 

You shook your head, feeling the skin of your wrist beginning to sting. 

“Y/N, please. I want to help you. But I can’t do that when you won't talk to me, so please…tell me what’s going on.” 

“I’m so tired, Ethan,” you finally spoke after a long pause, voice hoarse. “I should’ve—I shouldn’t be here right now, I should be dead because I panicked and I…I almost died. The man, he put the gun to my head and I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. I could’ve sworn to God that the whole ‘thing’ about you seeing your life flash by like a film reel was just a myth but it wasn’t. It scared the shit out of me because I kept seeing the same thing over and over. I thought…”

“What did you see?” he asked, voice gentle. 

“I kept seeing your face. All I saw was your face.” You looked away, suddenly unable to make eye contact with him. Heat spreads across your cheeks. “I know I care about the whole damn team, but you—you’re my future, Ethan.”

He doesn’t say anything in response and instead, leans down to kiss you.

The sudden rush of warmth from his lips being pressed against yours makes you want to forget everything in the world and completely drown in him. This was home, you realized, and this is where I’m supposed to be.

And as the sun rises and spreads a brilliant pale glow over the horizon, Ethan can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this was also exactly where he was meant to be. Not fighting bad guys, but rather, standing on the rooftop of a tiny building in the 4th arrondissement with you in his arms and your head against his heart. He thinks he could have a lifetime of this.

“You’re my future, too.”

tags (including those who may be interested! add yourself via this form, if you’d like): @mitchellpete @voguesir @fl0ating @lady-elena-adeline @the-multiverse-of-fandoms @ilsastrenchcoat @joyfullyswimmingface​ 

[nycreid]

SPENCER REID FIC RECS !

FLUFF

Books and Notes by @galaxy-siren

Summary: During movie night with Derek and Garcia, Spencer’s neighbor returns a book she borrowed and leaves a note inside it asking Spencer to dinner.

pov : you're dating spencer reid :) by @socklessworm

Little Touches by @radiant-reid

Summary: Just a few moments where Spencer learns how much he loves touches

Magic Words by @aperrywilliams

Summary: With a two-month-old, life could be messy, but Spencer won’t waste any chance to enjoy his paternity.

Sunshine by @radiant-reid

Summary: Spencer is usually really good at keeping secrets, and it takes a few months for him to drop the ball and reveal who his ‘sunshine’ is to the whole team

Baby Daddy by @shemarmooresfedora

Summary: You are running out of time to have a kid of your own so you are assessing your options.

How Everyone Found Out by @radiant-reid

Summary: a little blurb about how each of the team members found out about a secret BAU relationship

SMUT

Mon genre by @coldbrewat3am

Summary: When sugar!daddy Spencer gets jealous, reader gets to reap the benefits

You're Something Else by @samuel-de-champagne-problems

Summary: Reader reveals to her boyfriend, Spencer, that she's never had sex. He takes it into his hands to change that, with her enthusiastic support of course

Every Bit, Every Inch by @drspencerweed

Summary: After a long night out, Reader is excited to jump her boyfriend's bones as soon as she sees him. When he gets too in his head, she shows him the best way to get out of it.

Jamais by @coldbrewat3am

Summary: Reader has never had an orgasm. Spencer plans on changing that

Anatomy Lesson | Secret Sex Buddy | Not Just A Genius by @downondilaudid

Summary: Reader has some sex trouble, out of all people to ask for help, she asks Spencer Reid. (mini series)

Taboo Nightmare by ^

Summary: Reader has an amazing one night stand with a stranger from a bar, only to regret her decision days later when she walks into class and realizes he’s her new professor. 

Not Even Close by @fortheloveofwonderland

Summary: the aftermath of a hostage situation causes you and your least favourite person, Spencer, to grow closer. When you have to reevaluate your feelings for Spencer, you might find you never actually hated him at all.

Bureau by @coldbrewat3am

Summary: Staying late with your boss has its benefits

Jazz & Jealousy by @imagining-in-the-margins

Summary: On a visit from New Orleans, Ethan takes a liking to Spencer’s crush. Spencer is not thrilled by this.

Devil eyes by @sinfulspencer

Summary: Spencer, dressed up as a devil, is drawn to the angel dancing around him at the club.

ANGST

It’s Just Indifference by @andiebeaword

Summary: Reader goes on the best date of her life. Her only regret was not getting his number in return. 15 months later, they see each other again at her favorite coffee shop.

The Antithesis of Loss by @radiant-reid

Summary: With Spencer in prison, Y/n struggles with how much she loves him until he’s finally out.

And I’ll Do Anything That You Say (If You Say It With Your Hands) (+18) by @samuel-de-champagne-problems

Summary: Spencer and Reader are forced to share a room, but can't resist falling into old patterns, even though it's dangerous and just might break them.

SERIES

The Love Hypothesis by @goldentournesol

Summary: Y/N is a third year grad student who kisses the first man she sees in order to cover up a lie. What happens when she finds out that the man she kisses is none other than the legendary Dr. Spencer Reid? Will Dr. Reid play along? (loosely based off the novel The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood)

Twisted by @dreamwritesimagines

Summary: No one can outrun their past. 

Settle Down by @write-orflight

Summary: Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one thing you need someone else for… A baby. You can plantonically start a family, right?

Part 2?

[bluewxrld07]

It’s Always Been You (Ethan Edwards)

In honor of gaining 100 of you guys on my page, here it is!! The much needed part 2 to Hurt My Feelings you’ve all been waiting for. I’ve been taking the time to perfect it, but beware this one’s a long one. Thank you all for 100 followers!!!! I appreciate every single one of you, I cannot wait to share more. Enjoy :)

Ethan Edward’s X female!reader

Warning(s): mutual pining, angst, fluff, hints to smut

If there was one thing y/n was good at, it would be known as her future career and major in school. She was in the progress of becoming a sports social media manager, always locking some of the best shots and behind the scenes when necessary.

She was the one the Michigan athletic department could count on. They had put with the Football team during the fall, and Basketball during the winter. She would sometimes end up subbing in for other sports managers when they had other opportunities in place, or just plain out couldn't do the job at hand. She was the one to call.

If there was one thing she absolutely terrible at, it would be avoiding people.

Especially certain people.

The UMich Basketball team didn't go too far into the season which led to y/n's schedule being more open to doing whatever. Which led to her slowly becoming more involved with their University's Hockey team.

When she was asked to help out with the guys more, she was a bit hesitant. Yes she loved them all and adored getting to be behind the scenes. Especially when it came down to her being there instead of one of the other interns down the road. What wasn't great to deal with, was having to see Ethan more often than she was planning on.

Many of the boys on the team know about her current situation of avoiding Ethan. This was due to the word getting around about her and him's night on New Year's, thanks to Luca spilling the beans when Ethan told him.

The boys all knew to keep their mouths shut about it, due to Ethan still being with his girlfriend, as well as y/n already stressing out about having to work alongside Ethan the rest of the season.

For now, it would be put to the side strictly on the business part of things. Yet it was hard to just act like there wasn't a giant elephant in the room when the pair were in a room together. She did her best keeping it strictly professional and positive when he was around. It seemed to slowly get easier as time went on.

That was until the intern quit, opening the spot fully to y/n to take, which she could never say no to. It was opening an opportunity for her to work in the side of the sports media field she has been waiting for, for much too long.

Especially with the boys making it to the Frozen Four.

This 'avoiding Ethan' chapter really was not going to happen for her the way she wanted anymore. Which concluded of her just never seeing him and talking to him again after he left her there that night.

She could never fathom how hurt it made her. Sitting there for hours on end waiting for his door to finally open its him behind it.

She knew deep down that it wouldn't have happened so easily like that, but part of her couldn't help but hope it would turn out for the best for her.

Y/n tried avoiding Ethan as much as she could after that. It was hard to most days, as the pair had a few classes together, and hung out in the same friend group. The guys could never have stopped hanging out with her, it just wasn't right in their book. Ethan even agreed that it wasn't right.

Of course the two were hurting, they had been inseparable for years on end. It hurt more when y/n would be at games watching from afar, or when his mom would shoot her a text or call asking where she was.

That was until she finally caved and told her everything. She couldn't hold it in from the one other woman in her life that treated her like she was her own child. Y/n told her that even though they were going through, well, whatever this was, that Ethan shouldn't be frowned upon for it.

His mom had agreed with her statement, understanding that the pair of complicated best friends had to figure some things out. They both would find their way back to each some day, is similar to something his mom had told her.

So now here she was, coming off the bus in Florida with the boys for the Frozen Four. Her hair was a mess, the outfit being oversized sweatpants, that she was pretty sure were a certain guy's old pair of pants, and an oversized UMich hockey sweatshirt.

The group gathering around the coaches to hear the spiel, y/n walking into the hotel while having a conversation with Rutger. The group all tired and about ready to take the night to relax before more early mornings continue.

Once they were all given their room keys, they all scurried to their floors and rooms, y/n happy to be getting her own room to sprawl out and do what she wanted. Due to this mainly being because she was the only female besides the adult media manager on the trip.

As soon as her door shut she slumped back against the door, leaning her head against it. Being up at two in the morning for the flight was not ideal in her mind, but she knew that this opportunity would be worth the exhaustion she was feeling.

Y/n tossed her stuff on one of the open beds, stretching out her limbs before plopping herself back on the other free bed in the room.

As soon as her body landed on the comfy mattress, a knock was heard at her door. The girl instantly groaned, turning over to the opposite side to face away from the door.

"Y/n I know you're not sleeping yet open the door," Luca laughed on the other side.

"I'm dead." she groans back to him, her eyes closed while she soaked in the cozy covers.

Luca knocked again. "Y/n/n if you don't open this door I will go tell the front desk I lost my room key for this room," he trails off, her eyes opening with an eye roll.

As much as she would like to still have ignored him and say no, she knew he would absolutely go down to the front desk.

She lets out a puff of air before pulling herself off the bed and towards the door. When she swings it open, she makes sure to give him the harshest scowl she can muster.

"What could possibly be more important than sleep?" she asks, eyeing him as he walks into her room and shuts the door.

He launches himself on the bed she was just laying on making himself comfortable, y/n going to crawl in next to him with the scowl still on her face.

He was laying on his back with his arms crossed behind his head, her laying on her side with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"The guys and I are all going to sneak into one of the clubs tonight if you want to join," he sits up with a finger pointing up. "Correction. You are joining us in going to the club tonight."

Y/n groans instantly, pulling a pillow to her face. "Luca no I want to sleep before the day we have tomorrow." she groans out with a long whine. Luca rolls his eyes at her playfully.

"Oh come on it would be so fun. Besides, this is basically the time we all are going to get to experience this together." He explains, trailing off in a tone to convince her. She shook her head behind the pillow while humming a 'no'.

"Y/n come on please?" he asks nicely, slowly pulling the pillow down from her face. "It's just there inner circle going tonight if that convinces you."

Y/n stays silent for a moment, letting it sit in her brain for the time being.

"If it's not me dragging you out, I'm making Ethan do it."

"You didn't even give me a chance to think Luca!"

"Well I know that face. It was your 'leaning towards a no' face." he says to her, a pillow being thrown at his face a second later.

"So is that a yes?" he asks, y/n getting off the bed with her hands on her hips. She looks back at him with a look. "I don't really have a choice do I," she retorts.

"Nope!" Luca laughs, clapping his hands together before getting off her bed and heading to the door.

"I'll come get you at nine, sunshine." he sings out while opening her door.

"I'm taking a nap before that then!"

. . . . . . . . . . .

Y/n was finishing up her makeup when she heard the soft knock on her door.

She shook her head at herself while she looked in the mirror. She loved the outfit she chose, going with her hair slicked back in a bun. She was awake, but was also still so exhausted from the morning. The nap not doing much to her energy tank.

She opened the door up to see not Luca, but Rutger standing there on his phone. When he looked up he smiled warmly at her, fanning her off and hyping her up for the night ahead. She blew him a playful kiss before the pair walked downstairs to join the rest of the group, her insides freezing at the sight of Ethan once again.

Sure she should be used to seeing him nowadays, but it was never something she could just get used to. He's been the one giving her butterflies since before she could remember, and the one who makes her heart stutter whenever they're in a room together.

From what she noticed, it was the inner circle as Luca promised.

He was currently smiling and talking with Mark when she walked up to the group, his eyes leaving Mark's as soon as Rutger announced their presence.

Ethan's smile immediately dropped, his mouth staying slightly ajar as his eyes took in her figure. She kept her eyes on his own while she watched him fully take her in, the boy's cheeks turning red when he catches her eyes.

He gives her a small smile, y/n instantly looking away from him and taking a deep breath as she followed the group out to the uber ordered by Luca.

The group all began to pile in, but slowly coming to a halt when it started to become full. "Luca you dumbass how're we all gonna fit into this one uber?" Luke asks as he tries to squeeze into the back.

"Couple of you will sit on the floor, and a couple in the trunk. Not that bad of an idea." Luca snorts, taking his seat in the front passenger side.

"Okay at least give y/n the front seat so she doesn't have to squeeze back here or sit on the floor." Rutger says, motioning to where Luca is sitting.

"Yeah, my dude you gotta be a gentlemen and give her the front seat. No wonder you're single." Mark retorts, earning a smack to the thigh from Luca. Y/n rolls her eyes, an amused look on her face as she hops into the small packed van.

"It's fine, I can sit on the floor. Luca's never changed his ways. Who says he will now?" she jokes, earning a whine from Luca and laughs from the guys.

"Watch it young lady, or I'm gonna kick you out." Luca says, making her eyes light up as he eyes her.

"That's all it takes for me to go back up to my warm and cozy bed? Say less," she says, Luca rolling his eyes with a sarcastic smile thrown her way.

"You wish it were that easy." he says before facing back to the front.

Y/n lets out a huff getting ready to sit on the ground behind Luca's seat, only to have arms slither around her waist and be pulled into a lap.

She lets out a shocked squeak and places her hands on the armrest to steady herself as the car takes off, feeling the hands place themselves on her hips with a squeeze. The hands were an oddly familiar pair she had grown to know all too well.

Y/n slowly turned her head and looked down, only to see the familiar head of brown hair she had been avoiding. He wasn't making eye contact with her, instead was looking over and talking to Mark next to him.

The girl kept her hands on her thighs, squeezing them tightly to keep herself together as she sat on Ethan's lap. His hands stayed on her hips, squeezing every so often which made her freeze and her insides warm each time he did so. It had been so long since she was this close to him at all. Her body didn't know how to react, her mind screaming alarms to her in the process of it.

What about his girlfriend?

Couldn't he just let her sit on the floor?

What would his girlfriend say right now?

Once they arrived to the destination, she had never been more relieved to open the door more than she was in that very moment. She hopped off of his lap as if it didn't happen, waiting for the rest of the boys to pop out one by one.

The group made their way up to the entrance, Luca doing some talking to the bouncer while they all talked amongst themselves for the time being.

A few seconds later Luca looked back to the group with a shit-eating grin, the bouncer opening the door to let them all in. Y/n looked up at the bouncer with a soft smile, thanking them for holding the door open as she walked inside.

As soon as she stepped in, the vibe was completely different. Strobe lights being seen from the hallway they walked through, The Weeknd playing in the background and the smell of marijuana wafting through her nose. Y/n kept herself close to the boys as she looked around the venue and overlooking the balcony they were now on, seeing the pile of bodies below on the dance floor.

All the guys immediately making their way down the stairs, hyped up and talking about what their plans were for the night.

Y/n was still super tired from the flight and already thinking about how early she had to be the following morning. More like counting down the hours till her alarm went off. Which wasn't many.

Luca found a couple of sofas for them to all chill on, announcing the first round of drinks were on him. Each guy listing their drink for him, Luca finally finding Y/n's gaze. She shook her head. "Not tonight. Busy day for me tomorrow." She declines, Luca pouting at her.

"ThO come on, have a few drinks and let loose before chaos begins! Technically I win the busy day argument. I play tomorrow, so it's automatic win for me. What're you having y/n/n? Besides I'm buying pretty girl," he asks, watching her roll her eyes and shrugs her shoulders.

"Tequila and sprite." she caves, waving him away as he pumps his fist in the air at her answer.

"He's ridiculous." she laughs at Mark, the boy nodding his head with a chuckle. "Trust me I know. Try being his roommate."

"I basically was for a year, remember?"

Mark rubs his hand over his face and nods. "How could I forget the year in sophomore house?" he trails off, making her shake her head with a sour face.

"Too much went down." Y/n grimaces, Mark bursting out a laugh at her reaction.

Mark's laughs quiet down a few seconds later, him finally turning his body to face her with a more serious look on his face. "So what's the word between you and Eddy now?" he says, her stomach tightening.

"Meaning what?" she asks, looking away from Mark. He snaps his fingers back at her to make her eyes look back into his own.

"Real shit," he says. "What's going on now? You two still not talking?"

Y/n shook her head, her fingers picking at her pants. "I can't Mark. Not after New Years." she admits.

"You mean when you two finally got into it?" he asks, her nodding with an eye roll.

"We shouldn't have done that Mark. He cheated on her with me. You know how I feel about that type of stuff." she admits, watching him purse his lips.

"Sorry sweetheart but one, you kissed him from my understanding. Two, so what? She's a puck bunny anyways, y/n. She wants nothing more than the attention that comes with dating Eddy," Mark admits, and Y/n puts her face in her hands. "Well I should say came with dating Eddy. Past tense." Mark slips out, y/n's hands leaving her face to look at him with a frown.

"What do you mean past tense?" she asks. Mark looks around them to see all the other guys in their own conversations. Then turns his attention back to her.

"The only other people that know is everyone in this club in our group. So don't say anything till he's ready to tell you," Mark starts, her face contorting to more confusion as he goes.

"She broke up with him the day you two saw each other at the library. The day you were leaving with Rut's girl." he explains, watching the girl's face turn from a frown to complete shock in a matter of milliseconds.

"Wait what? There's no way, they were kissing and being all lovey-"

"It was after you left she decided to do it. She saw how he looked at you when you were leaving, and knew right then and there she had no part of him to herself anymore. So she dumped him right then and there." he finishes, watching y/n's face fall as she facepalms.

"Mark that was weeks ago! I'm now just finding this out? Why now?" she stutters out, Mark putting his hands on her arms. He makes her look up at him.

"Because he said you deserved your space, especially after he left you there in his room that night. He said that wasn't something he should just drop on you when you were feeling so many different things."

"Goddammit Ethan." she mumbles out, her eyes looking over the boy her heart wanted so much, watching him laugh with Rutger and Luke.

"You can't tell him I said anything-"

"And I'm back with drinks! Let's get this shit going!" Luca announces out, walking back with two drinks in his own hands, a server next to him with a tray of their drinks to set down.

Luca picks up Y/n's drink, bowing towards her with a smirk. "You're drink m'lady." he says with a fake accent, making her smile at him.

"Why thank you kind sir." she chuckles, taking a sip.

"Alright, now that drinks are ll sorted out, let's go dance dudes! Plenty single ladies, and plenty of dance floor!" Luca hoots, fist-bumping his way into the crowds with the some of the other guys.

She gives Mark a knowing look, indicating she understood what he was going to finishing saying. He reached down and squeezed her hand before disappearing into the crowd.

Y/n was too tired to want to join, not wanting to be there in the first place. She sipped on her drink slowly, her eyes people watching as she sat there, music bumping loudly.

She would much rather be sleeping in her bed. She'd rather be decompressing and charging up for the busy days ahead she knew were going to be horrific.

Y/n let out a huff as she looked into the dancing crowd, seeing and spotting each boy doing their own thing.

Her eyes stopped when they found Ethan's. His eyes were already on her own. Their eyes like magnets to one another. It always felt like things were going so much slower when they locked eyes. Like it was just them in the room.

Y/n bit her lip, shaking her head slightly to herself and finally broke their staring contest. She looked down to her drink, gulping down what she could to help herself feel a bit more loose than she planned.

At this point in the night, she was avoiding his eyes, knowing they were constantly being put on her. She could sense it. Sense him. It was like a sixth sense almost.

During a certain point in the night, y/n made her way over to the bar to get herself another drink.

If she was going to be stuck here, thanks to Luca, she might as well not be sober and enjoy her time while it lasted. A hangover wouldn't be the worst thing for her after the last few weeks she's been dealing with.

She gives the bartender a warm smile, yelling out a 'thank you' over the loud music and turned away from the bar to lean back against it. She took a sip of her third glass of the evening, already feeling the oh so familiar buzz coming on. She let it take over her nervous system, closing her eyes and her head tilting back while blowing out some air.

House of Balloons played out, making y/n smile to herself as she began to sway to the music.

The girl began to sing out the lyrics, knowing the song all too well as it made her feel some type of way every time she heard it. It brought out something in her each time any music like this played, her actions becoming harder to control especially when intoxicated.

Which was where she was at right now.

When she opened her eyes to look at the crowd, biting her lip as she watched many people paired together dancing the night away, grinding bodies are the only thing to be seen on the dance floor.

The lights were dark, flashes of different shades of reds straying out every so often, those flashes being the only lights in the entire place.

As if she could feel it once more, she finally found the familiar eyes that had been finding her figure all night. This time it was making her heart race.

He slowly starts to make his way to her, y/n's heart rate picking up as he got closer.

Before she knew it, he was in front of her standing over her figure.

He reached his hands out to her as if asking her to join him, the girl's eye not leaving his own.

So instead of walking away like she wanted to, after all this time she spent avoiding him.

She gave in.

Y/n sat up straight, her empty glass long forgotten now on the table behind her. She had to still look up at him due to their height difference, but nonetheless had let her hands slide into his own.

He slowly backed his way into the crowd of dancing people, the music setting the vibe and pace for the pair on the floor.

They found a spot away from the other boys, secluded in the crowd surrounded but hundreds of strangers but only entranced in one another. Their eyes never left one another, no matter if they tripped of bumped into other people.

His forehead found her own, his hands still entwined with her own to show he wouldn't push unless she gave him the green light. He wanted to show her he would move at her own pace.

To Y/n, for the first time in weeks, wasn't scared of what would happen or what wouldn't happen. Ethan was taking the lead to show her he was still in it, but at the same time was taking it slow to not push her further.

He closed his eyes as the song played in the background, his mouth starting to sing along to the words.

Face it, you want it, you crave it

Believe when I say that you'll know once you taste it

Y/n watched his lips move, her heart pounding out of her chest as they had their moment. Like they were the only two existing in that room.

She was letting the alcohol take over her nerves, letting it do what she knew she wouldn't be able to do completely sober.

Y/n slipped her hands from Ethan's only to place them over the top of his hands to lead them onto her waist, hers going to slowly slither around his neck.

Ethan opened his eyes to look down into hers, his hands sliding down from her waist, wrapping low around her hips just above where her lower back met her backside.

Y/n took the opportunity to let her hands cup both sides of his jawline, looking up into his eyes then down to his mouth as she sang along to the song this time.

What the hell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends

This doesn't make much sense, but I'm not hurt I'm tense

Cause I'll be fine without you babe

Her eyes found his again, the two wrapped up in one another's company, tension building more by the minute. Y/n bit her bottom lip once again, trying to stop her thoughts from getting bigger and bigger as they sway with one another.

She snapped out of her daze when she felt his thumb slowly pulling her bottom lip free from her teeth, rubbing it slowly after. His eyes went down to her lips as he leaned in, but stopping just millimeters away to let their lips brush ever so slightly.

"Please," he says, his voice weak. Just wanting to finally have her to himself. "It's always been you, y/n. Always."

He put both of his hands on the crook of her neck where it met her jawline, her hands wrapping softly around his wrists. He could see her having an argument with herself, the boy saying her name to catch her attention. "I know I've been a fucking idiot and an asshole to you. You don't deserve any of it. Slap me, punch me, kick me in the nuts I don't care what. Just please don't push me away anymore." Her eyes lock with his once again.

"I won't hurt you," he assures her, shaking his head. "Not again. Not ever. Just please. Let me prove to you. Let me prove it's always been you." he begs her.

Y/n stills for a moment, knowing that she wants this just as bad as he does. Probably even more than he ever would.

"Eddy,"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me. Please kiss me."

Ethan didn't even let her finish her sentence, immediately placing his lips over hers in a bruising kiss. Tongues and teeth clashing when they connected, immediately y/n sighs into his mouth. Her body calming instantly at the feelings of his lips on her once again after far too long.

It didn't take long for his hands to leave the sides of her face, wrap around her waist and pull her impossibly closer to his own body. Her hands finding the back of his neck, letting her elbows rest on his shoulders while her hands pulled at his hair.

Their lips moving in sync, things becoming more heated the more they kissed.

His lips finally broke from hers only to kiss down her jaw to her neck and collarbone, y/n moving her head to the side for him to gain more access as her hands pushed his head further into her. She was becoming more and more enticed by the feelings of his lips and touch on her, it was like a drug she couldn't escape.

When his lips latched on the all too familiar sweet spot she let out a breathless moan, feeling him chuckle in her neck. He broke his kisses for a second, only to bring his lips to her ear to whisper something.

"Only I will get to ever make you make those sounds. Not Luke, not anybody," he pants into her ear before leaving a soft kiss on it, going back to attacking her soft spot as she bit her lip to hide a smile.

"Still on that whole ordeal are you?" she chuckles but it's turned into another moan when his teeth bite on her neck, his hands moving down to her ass and squeezing at the same time.

"Don't get yourself into more trouble, brat." he tells her, his tone darker than usual. She just nods, taking his head away from her neck to bring his lips back to her own. "As long as you promise to never hurt me again, I think I can manage."

He smiles against her lips, placing a hand on her neck. "I've got lots of making up to do, don't you think pretty?" he mumbles in between kisses, hearing her hum with a nod.

"Let's get out of here shall we?" he says, placing one more kiss to her lips before looking down at her. Ethan had to bite his lip from going back in, seeing the marks littered on her neck and her swollen lips making his pants tighter.

He just about loses it right there when she bites her lip and pulls him closer by his waistband.

"Lead the way, baby."

[scottsstreet]

Glad you came

PAIRINGS: Luca Fantilli x Reader

WARNINGS: none

AUTHOR’S NOTE: please let me know your thoughts, opinions and suggestions. enjoy!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

you first met Luca in your Econ class.

he was late on the first day and since there were no other seats available, he sat down next to you and began politely asking for the notes he missed.

the next time you had that class you sat in the same spot, enjoying being off to the side away from everyone else. you didn’t expect him to come in once again and ask if this seat was taken?

and that became routine. you would be one of first the people to arrive in class since you walked from your off-campus apartment not too far away and then Luca would arrive a few minutes later, take the seat next to you and start talking about whatever he did on the days you hadn’t seen each other.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

you had been in Econ class that morning and just like any other day Luca was catching you up on all the things you’d missed on your days apart. his friends, his other classes, hockey, his favorite tv shows, etc.

you would give your input every now and then to let him know you were still engaged and listening, but let’s be honest it was hard not to be engaged when Luca was talking.

“then he scored the winning goal and Ethan was pissed,” he laughed “it was hilarious. you had to of been there.”

“and you were playing what game?” you asked trying to understand what exactly he was talking about.

“NHL 23.” he said.

“interesting, you’ll have to show me sometime.” you responded absentmindedly, you didn’t even realize the weight your words actually carried.

“you should came to one of my games sometime, that way you can see first hand how to play the game.” he suggested shyly, shrugging.

you finally raised you attention from you notebook and turned to him with an are you serious? look.

“yeah. i know you aren’t the biggest sports fan but you should come. We play Friday.”

before you could even try and muster a response your professor dismissed class and you and Luca parted ways.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

now its not that you hated sports. you watched the occasional Saturday night football game with your family growing up and you went to your siblings sporting events to show your undying support, but you just never got into it. you never really found it enjoyable.

regardless your easily influenced and after talking to your best friend about what happened with Luca, she convinced you to at least go for a little bit of the game because it could be fun and because he seems like a really nice guy.

so you decided to go.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

when the game ended you were a bit sad but you shrugged the feeling off and just chalked it up as an experience you didn’t completely hate.

before the game had started Luca had tossed you a puck that said meet me by the locker room. so that’s where you headed as you made your way through the crowded halls of the Yost Arena.

when you neared the locker room you saw Luca standing there waiting for you talking to a few of the other player on the team.

when he saw you coming his way, he parted ways with the other boys and made his way towards you.

“you came? and here i thought you hated sports.” he greets you.

you shrugged, “i do, someone has to cheer for you right? otherwise it’s just-“ *ignoring all the people still crowding the Arena dressed in maize and blue who were obviously there for the Wolverines, waving around vaguely* “embarrassing, no one here for your team. clearly” you replied back continuing with the banter.

“clearly.” “what would you do without me?”

his smiles widens “i don’t know. in fact, you might have to keep coming to the games, you’re probably the sole reason we won tonight.”

“probably.”