#and ive literally spent the greater majority of my life worrying about things a child shouldnt worry about
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#kats personal#i jist want to not think yknow#and i tried to explain to him that sometimes i just want to relax but all he does is tell me to worry ahout x y z#and like i completely understand why he wants me to think about it and worry about it#but its so tiring#and ive literally spent the greater majority of my life worrying about things a child shouldnt worry about#and so now i just eant to relax a bit and kind of just. worry about the 100% necessary things#and i know that sounds so selfish but like#i told him that its just really tiring to think about so much#and he said 'no its not tiring--' and then i just asked him to leave lol#because like. if youre not willing to understand why its tiring for me and your first reaction is to invalidate or deny my feelings#i really dont want to do this again#like im ?? done trying to explain myself if all people do is invalidate or deny or refuse to listen to me#and instead just make sure that /i/ understand /them/ but they dont try to understand me#this spunds really childish HAHA#a lot of things sound really childish to me these days. idk ehats gotten into me but im trying to live my life a bit more#and trying to make choices for myself and set my own boundaries and stuff and its really weird and makes me feel like im doing wrong#and i understand the psych behind it but its still scary and makes me feel like a chidl throwing a tantrum
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