#because like. if youre not willing to understand why its tiring for me and your first reaction is to invalidate or deny my feelings

[straykats]

.

[bonny-kookoo]

X♡X♡ [SEVEN DAYS] Day 2

The second day gives you a moment of reflection, and an interesting insight into his position in not only this arrangement, but the scene in general. And he also helps you use your past bad experiences go create a new one- one you'll probably never forget.

Tags/Warnings: Porn with a lot of plot basically, inexperienced!reader, Dom!Jungkook, BDSM themes and elements, discussion of past bad experiences (sexual and general relationships), bondage (tied wrists), sensual dominance, Oral (male receiving), handjob (female receiving), squirting, more of Jungkooks dirty thoughts but its pretty tame this time haha, aftercare, romantic tension is that a thing I'm making it a thing now

Length: 5.3k

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A/N: Hello hi I hope this doesn't disappoint 💗

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The next day, it's him who wakes up first. And for a minute or two, he's actually unsure where he is- why is he on the couch? And why does his chest feel so heavy?

And then it all bleeds back into him, fills his head with nothing but memories of what happened yesterday.

He wonders if it feels the same for you as it does to him. Do you enjoy it? Sure, it looks like it, feels like it- but what if you only pretend to not make him feel bad?

He knows what's going on with him, so he decides to be a little selfish for once. You'll understand- he's doing it to stay sane and in a good headspace after all, and that only benefits you at the end of the day.

His arms move around a bit, adjust as he carefully pulls you a little closer, just to reassure himself. You're sleeping deeply, resting comfortably, and that can only mean that he's not scary to you. You still like him, you still want to spend time with him.

You wake up slowly, stretch your limbs for a second before you yawn, eyes slowly opening to look at him. "What's wrong?" You ask, and he just shakes his head.

"Nothing." He smiles, speaks with an equally as tired voice towards you, as you to him. You don't buy his cheap lie though.

"If I need to be honest at all times, I want you to do that too." You argue sleepily. "Thats only fair."

"You're right." He sighs, running a hand through your hair. "You remember how you dropped yesterday, during your shower after I warned you what could happen?" He reminds you, and you nod, suppressing a yawn. "Well, I'm having somewhat of a similar situation. It's fine though- I'm already feeling much better." He reassures, but you move, and lean on your hands before you sit up.

"No, wait-" you shake your head. "-can I help with that? Like, you helped me, there's got to be something I can do in return." You tell him, and he can't help but lean his head back, close his eyes and laugh.

You're just too precious.

"I just need you." He says after a moment, hand reaching out for yours to take. "Thats all." He shrugs, and you watch him with suspicion, though you do take his inviting hand and lay back down close to him.

"Can you.. you don't have to if it's weird!" You instantly interrupt yourself, making him chuckle. "But.. okay so, it made sense to me that as the.. receiving one and stuff, you'd go through a drop of emotions. Like, of course, sure. But like, I don't really understand how you'd get the same feeling? You're the leader and stuff, right?" You wonder, and he nods, humming to himself as he thinks about how to properly explain it.

"People tend to think that the sub is.. some sort of 'victim' towards the dominant person." Jungkook says, while the arm you lay on is bent, hand drawing shapes on the tip of your shoulder. "In reality, it's a clear power exchange, right? I only do what you tell me I can. You're calling the shots. You make the boundaries- I only ever have as much power as you're willing to give me." He explains to you, and you nod. "And with that comes.. responsibility. Pressure. Because in order for you to be able to let yourself fall, I have to be able to hold you for that time." He continues, as your hand reaches out to let your finger follow some of the inked lines of his tattoos. "I go through just as many emotions as you do. It's why I told you aftercare is important for us both." He says, looking at where your finger is tracing his skin. "Without it, I can drop just as hard."

You adjust your position as he finishes his explanation, looking at him. "Is there.. can I do anything to make sure you.. like, don't?" You ask. "As in- what do you need to feel good afterwards too?" You wonder, and he laughs to himself, shaking his head before he pulls you a bit closer for a second.

"Like I said-" he says, stretching his arms as well. "-I just need you. As long as you make me feel wanted, I'll be fine." He offers, before he kisses you're forehead, only to get up and walk into the bathroom right after.

You're not entirely sure if you understand what he means by making him 'feel wanted'-

But you'll do everything that you can to make sure he's gonna enjoy this week just as much as you know you will.

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You're both having breakfast, simple foods on the table, and in a way, it feels almost domestic. You already don't want to ever leave his home ever again- everything's so calm and it feels almost.. surreal. You've never felt like this. Up until now, you've always been somewhat stressed about things, so much so that it's become normal to you. The pressure of work, someone ringing the doorbell even if it's just the mailman, your boss calling you into office every now and then- pressure and stress have always been there for you. So, in a way, this calm and carefree bubble you're currently in, is intimidating you.

A lot.

"Have you ever given head before?" Jungkook asks suddenly, making you choke on your glass of water, making him pat your back with a grin on his face. "Sorry, I should've waited until you were done drinking." He laughs, and you slowly catch your breath again.

"I uh- tried but it was awkward really quickly so he.. kind of told me not to.." you reply to him, your words growing quieter towards the end. He feels an odd sense of pity for you- not really in a demeaning manner, but more so in a way of empathy. After all, he's been through a bad relationship in the past too- one that had given him major insecurities from himself and his body, issues he needed time for to solve them for himself. He feels for you. You should've never had to experience those things.

But if he can do anything to help you heal, he will do it.

"Did you not like it?" He asks casually, eating the simple breakfast food he's made earlier. He's so at ease with these things that you can't help but be as well- shrugging.

"I.. don't remember." You answer honestly. "I'm not sure anymore. I think.. like, the idea of doing it with you seems a bit intimidating, but not.. unattractive, you know?" You say, carefully lifting your gaze to look at him, who's lips are slowly turning upwards at the corners as he chews his food.

"Would you like to try? After we're done eating?" He asks, and you nod. It's another sign that you're growing more comfortable with him- clear answers falling more freely from you, you're no longer as eager to make sure you keep your true intentions hidden. And while he knows you still hold back a lot, he still appreciates the steps you're taking towards him.

Because it makes him eager to finally take your hand and never let go.

"You know.." You start, slowly, and he let's you go at your own pace for a moment, not pressuring you by looking at you or anything. He knows you're easily intimidated and pushed backwards whenever you try and jump over your own shadow in any way, so he tries to keep things as comfortable as he can for now. Just like he said, he's getting to know you, after all- not only on a physical level, but an emotional one as well. He's got the unique opportunity to really look behind the scenes of your otherwise always carefree nature you put up.

He wants this simple act to become a reality with him. He wants to be able to actually make you feel relaxed, and comfortable, and not so stressed all the time. Because he felt it. In the tense muscles of your body, in your need to somehow prove to him that you can be independent, and even before he got to touch you he's known. You seem awfully terrified of relying on someone, of trusting, or simply letting someone else take the reigns. You never truly let yourself go, and while he wants to know why- this week, he's rather gonna focus on showing you that he can be a safe zone for you.

He can't erase what memories you've already made. He can't undo what's happened to you- but he can make sure that your future experiences will outweigh any bad past you're carrying around.

"How about we.. uhm.." You start, instantly gaining his attention. You seem to think deeply before you bite on your bottom lip, a nervous habit he's already noticed. He does it too, mostly with his piercings- so he's in no position to try and scold you for it. "Like, I feel like you're not.. uh.." You don't know how to say it, and it's clear to him. He wonders what you want to say. He's not- what? What do you want him to do?

"You know you can be honest with me." He chuckles. "Really. If there's anything I'm doing that's not comfortable to you, you should actually said it." he offers, and you nod, putting your cutlery down before you lean back on your hands.

"It just.." You still struggle clearly. "You're the.. dom, right?" You ask, and he nods. "But, it doesn't really feel like it?" You carefully phrase, probably because you don't want to scratch his ego in case he'd feel attacked. But he's not so fragile. He won't break from a simple observation like that.

Mostly, because you're right. And that's been a calculated move from the very start.

"I don't want to overwhelm you, simply." He shrugs. "I hardly think you would've enjoyed our first experience together if I was to push you around and bark orders at you, would you?" He jokes almost, and you nod after thinking about it.

He's right. That would've probably more or less traumatized you.

"But we can definitely increase the intensity, if you want to." Jungkook offers casually. "I go at your pace, after all."

"But is that even enjoyable to you then?" You wonder, a bit insecure. "Isn't it boring?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

"Trust me-" He smiles, collecting the empty dishes on the table. "-having sex with the person you love is never boring." He winks, before he takes your dishes too, and brings them into the kitchen to wash them.

All while you're left stunned by his words spoken so effortlessly and out in the open as if they were nothing.

You wonder when you'll be able to do that.

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It's only Tuesday, and for some reason, sex has already begun to feel.. almost natural with Jungkook.

He doesn't make it into an awkward show, or something you need to endlessly prepare for- and neither does he keep it strictly bound to one place or setting like you've known it to be in the past. Jungkook is a free spirit- and it shows in the way he approaches sex and intimacy.

It's odd, how you're already noticing that.

"Now remember, Tiger stops everything. Saying it is nothing bad, it won't make things awkward-" he recites to you, as he crawls onto the couch, already shirtless. "-well simply calm down, clean up, and talk about what made you use it. Not to put you on a pedestal-" he continues, and you nod.

"-But to communicate and learn, I know." You reassure him, and he smiles, tapping below your chin.

"Good Girl." He teases, probably accidentally making your heart jump.

Whenever he says things like this, does things like this, you feel like you're actually falling in love with him. And that's fine, right? After all, he wants to love you too.

He's just waiting for you, patiently.

"Alright. Eyes on me from now on." He demands, commanding tone making it clear that the scene has begun- and the excitement of it easily begins to bubble up in your veins, filling your bloodstream with warmth and anticipation, while he moves, buckle of his belt jingling a little as he discards his pants- and you just know, from the way he moves, that he's also stripping off the rest of his clothes.

But you stay strong, even though your eyes desperately want to wander lower, curiosity spreading as he moves to sit behind you, when you feel something cool but soft against your wrists he's holding behind your back. "Remember-" he lowly speaks. "-If you feel like you'll panic, say the word." He reminds you one last time, before he pulls his pelt tight, experienced movements of his hands binding together yours, making you unable to use them anymore.

And then, you feel his lips. Faintly, almost teasing, pecking your skin, from the spot where your wrists rest straight up your spine to the back of your neck.

You shiver, but not from the cold. He chuckles as if to answer, before he moves to sit down with his back against the headrest of the pull out couch you've slept on with him last night, reaching out to you.

His hand on your chin, thumb almost gently running over your bottom lip, before he dares to make you open your mouth, his finger on your tongue. Throughout it all, your eyes stay on him, just like he told you they should, and you can feel something happening to you you didn't know was possible.

You feel like you're reaching your peak just from this alone- the sight of him, your hands bound behind your back, the knowledge that he's entirely bare in front of you. You want to see him.

But you wait. He's in charge, after all.

"So pretty.." he chuckles with eyes dark, licking his own bottom lip until the tip of his tongue plays with his piercing a little, while he watches you struggle to stay calm. His hand leaves your face, before he seems to think-

Just for a second though. He won't go there yet- slow steps, steady progress, no rush, he reminds himself.

"Look at you, so patient." He praises, and your breathing picks up at the sound of his words, eyes sparkling. You're so cute, he thinks to himself. Dangerous, most of all. "Tell me what you want." He commands, and you swallow, before you speak.

".. you." You answer. He chuckles.

"I'm right here." He snickers, amused.

"No, like.. I want-" you say, looking down his chest, his stomach, muscle defined as you reach his belly button, before the prominent V-Line greets your vision, soon followed by his hard length fully erect.

It twitches once, and you can't look away.

"Eyes up, darling." He demands, and your gaze snaps back up, earning a pleased smile. "Good Girl." He grins. "Now, I'll ask again. What do you want?" He asks, and you have to physically force the words out of you.

"I want you inside my mouth.." you tell him, and he tilts his head to the side, faking innocence.

"You'll have to be more specific, darling." He purrs down at you, hand around your neck angling your face upwards to straighten your back, fixing your posture for you. It helps- though the simple touch around your throat makes you clench around nothing, oddly enough. It's clear that he's slowly increasing the intensity of the powerplay- no longer as easy to convince.

You've probably already leaked onto the sheets underneath you. And you couldn't care less.

Maybe it's the way he's gotten you to straighten your back in an almost confident position. Maybe it's the praise getting to your head. Or maybe you're just being consumed by your own lust. But suddenly, your words aren't so hard to say out loud any longer as you speak.

"I want to please you." You say, and it catches him off guard a little. "Please let me have it.." you plead, and in this moment, he doesn't care that you're technically still not speaking out what you want specifically. He really couldn't care less.

How could he, with a goddess Aphrodite on her knees right in front of him, asking to pleasure him?

"Go ahead, darling." He says, finally offering his permission. "Let's see what you have to offer, hm?" He teases with a low purr in his tone, and at that, you realize you've received the green light from him.

And quite honestly, suddenly you don't care anymore if you've ever given head- because after all, Jungkook will guide you. Jungkook will use you in any way he deems right.

And you don't mind one bit.

You're not to sure what you're doing, but you're going small steps at a time, threading carefully to check what works and what doesn't. It's intimidating, yes- but not in a bad way. More like, you know what you want, you got the goal right in sight of you, but the road there seems a bit tough to navigate.

But you'll figure it out. You'll earn his praise, his affection, and most of all-

The sight of his face bathed in pleasure.

You lick the very tip as if to taste first, eyes looking up at him to check if there's any change in his expression- but he just watches you for now, not much to be seen on his face yet. Only when you wrap your lips around the head of his cock does he lean his head back, eyes closed and lips parted, and you know that while yes, you're getting what you wanted-

It's not enough. You want to see more.

Your wrists struggle for a second as you're reminded that they're out of order for now- and instead of starting to panic like you thought you might, you instead think of any other way you could use your mouth on him. You don't want to be boring.

If you're boring he might just not want you.

And you want him to want you.

Rolling your tongue around his head, you notice the way the muscles in his lower stomach contract- a clear reaction, face also scrunched up in what you know must be a positive reaction-

Because he's smiling, after all.

You're taking him deeper and deeper, testing your own limits, and its really making him use up all his willpower not to grab your hair and fuck your mouth. Your lips are shiny with your saliva, you're slowly easing that tension in your bones too- you're becoming comfortable, and that alone is reward enough.

That, and your goddamn tongue running over his cock like a succubus.

You're not sure how to properly stimulate him considering you can't fit much of him in your mouth, so you occasionally let him pop out just to lick the rest of him base to tip. You like the way it makes his breath hitch.

"So good." He praises, breathes out mostly as you hold him flat on your tongue, swallowing around him.

And he gasps out at that, a moan escaping him that sounds so forbidden that it sends pleasure right down your core. You do it again, and it makes his face scrunch up, teeth biting his bottom lip as he starts to look concentrated on something.

"You can spit it out." He says, and for a second you're not sure what he's saying, having just started to play around with sucking the head slightly, when his thighs seem to struggle keeping still, a drawn out groan escaping him as his release shoots into your mouth.

You drink him up, and he can't help but laugh.

You really are dangerous, a demon in disguise.

The moment you let him go, you lick your lips, although the bitter taste makes you involuntarily cringe slightly. He can't help but chuckle in endearment at the sight, moving in his position to kiss your cheek, jaw and neck, tongue running over your skin it feels like, his kisses both incredibly dirty but sweet.

It makes you feel butterflies, and they're just as excitedly fluttering around as your body is as soon as his hand finds its way between your legs.

"So wet- desperate to get off, aren't you?" He asks, and you nod, easily falling onto your back to lift your legs as he strips off your underwear, clear strings of arousal clinging to the fabric for a moment before its discarded somewhere you don't care. "Look at that pretty cunt." He chuckles, hand easily moving, fingers dipping between your lower lips to cover themselves in your juices, every motion smoothly gliding. Two of them enter your achingly empty core, and he feels you clench around his digits already as he moves them in and out. "So soft and warm.. makes me wanna bury myself balls deep inside it." He says, and you whine at the thought of it.

You want it. No matter if you can't take it- you want it.

He takes out his fingers just for a moment to teasingly tap your clit, making you kick out your legs in frustration as he keeps on providing never enough friction or stimulation to truly get you off.

"Please-" you beg, out of breath. "-please make me cum!" You tell him, and the corners of his lips move upwards at your first true demand voiced out clearly.

"You wanna cum, huh.." he hums almost to himself, when he moves to perk your butt up on his thigh, before his hand cups your heat for a moment, as if to contemplate what to do next.

And then his fingers are back inside, curling and moving rapidly, heel of his palm finally giving you that friction you've been seeking. But it's fast, it's rough, and while you don't say the word that would stop it, you're unsure what's happening to yourself.

"Let go." He tells you, free hand grabbing one of your tits to let his thumb run over your perked up nipple. "You wanted to cum-" he almost mocks you, "so cum." He demands, and that you do.

You don't know what exactly happens, but you know that he doesn't seem to mind it, so it's probably nothing bad.

Wet sounds suddenly echo off the walls as he moves a bit slower, pushes you through your orgasm and straight into another, softer one that doesn't make you almost deaf and blind. It soothes you a little, until the sting of overstimulation makes your hips jump.

You only barely notice his palm soothingly running up and down your thigh now, having let go of your still throbbing cunt as you recover from whatever that was, sheets visibly darkened below you while his hand and forearm are glistening with liquid.

You can see him smile down at you, and that's enough. You don't need to understand anything to just enjoy his affectionate eyes on you.

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You're in the bathtub, when you inspect your wrists, his own hands carefully holding them, thumb running over the red marks left. They'll fade soon, you know that- and it makes you almost sad, looking at them.

"Leather is a bit rough." He hums in thought. "I'll use something softer next time." He offers, moving your wrists closer to his face to kiss the skin there.

"Its fine.." you say quietly, voice echoing off the tiled walls of his bathroom. "I like.. this." You say, and he chuckles.

"Me kissing you, or the marks on your skin?" He wonders, and you shrug, water moving a bit.

"Both." You say, looking up at him from over your shoulder.

"Noted." He jokes, though you can see something sparkle in his eyes. "Though, I gotta say.." he says, moving a bit as the water sloshes around, "...that was quite impressive for a first-timer." He jokes, and you roll your eyes, face turning red.

"I didn't even know what I was doing." You deny, making him laugh openly.

"Well, once you know what you're doing you're gonna send me straight to the moon then." He exaggerates playfully. "That'll be an out-of-body experience!" He tells you, and you just lean back into his chest, shrugging.

"Well, I've got five more days to work on my skills." You proudly say, and he nods quietly.

"Only five?" He teases, and you groan.

"Yeah.." you hum, looking up at him. "Tonight I just wanna.. cuddle?" You ask, and he nods softly down at you, arms wrapping around your shoulders.

"Cuddling it is then." He tells you, reaching over your shoulder to drain the tub of the soapy water.

And true to his word, the rest of the day is in fact spent mostly domestic and without any further mention of any.. adult activities, until a question begins to bother you, as you watch him scroll for something to watch on his TV. "Hey, Jungkook?" You wonder, and he raises his brows, humming a reply to you that shows his peaked interest in what you've got to say. "Isn't it.. gonna be, I don't know.." You mumble, unsure how to phrase it. "How come we haven't had.. sex yet?" You ask, and he looks confused for a moment, before he looks at you, task immediately abandoned at your words.

"I'm not sure if I follow." He jokes. "I'm pretty sure we had sex just a few hours earlier? When you squirted-" He starts but you wave him off like an annoying insect in panic, making him laugh at your shy antics.

"No no no, that's not-" You shakes your head, before you clarify. "That's not- like, proper sex. You know." You try to get him onto the right path, and he leans back into the couch, crossing his arms.

"Ah-" He hums out after a moment of contemplating what you've said, finally processing it correctly. "Okay, I get what you mean now. Though I've gotta correct you-" he says, putting down the remote to the TV for now. "-I don't have to put my dick in you to be able to call it sex." He corrects you in a gentle way, before he uncrosses his arms, turning his body more towards you. "But I have a feeling that's not entirely your point." he continues, and you shrug.

"I don't know how to explain it." You complain. "Like, even if I'm gonna like everything you do this week-" You offer, trying to convey your feelings properly. "-I'm still not gonna be able to.. have that kind of sex with you." You say, and he scrunches up his brows for a second, before he shakes his head.

"Doesn't mean we can't try." He tells you. "Is that something you'd want?" He asks, and you nod. "No, I mean- is that something you'd like to do? Don't just say yes because you think I'll need that from you to feel satisfied. I can think of numerous different ways to get myself off with your help, don't you worry about that." He chuckles, especially when you grow clearly flustered by his blunt way of talking about this entire topic.

"I already know I can't do it." You deflate, averting your eyes. "I told you- it didn't work-" You start, but he shakes his head.

"Just because it didn't work with him, doesn't mean anything." He denies. "There's tons of reasons you weren't able to take him. Maybe actual size, maybe poor preparation, maybe you were too tense, maybe all of it- we'll never truly know." He shrugs his shoulders. "Trust me when I tell you, that if you want to try, I'm gonna make sure I'll use any way I know of to make it as comfortable as I can." He offers, but you don't seem too convinced.

"But you're- like, a lot bigger than him." You say, probably unaware how that fuels Jungkook's ego in secret, as he suppresses a smirk.

"So?" He asks, unable to see your point. "I'm not like him. I actually care about my partner's pleasure together with my own. You'll just have to trust me, and I'll make sure to try any way to make it work." He offers, and after a moment or two, you nod.

"Okay." You say. "I want to.. try then. Like, not right now- but, I don't know. At some point." You nod, and he grins brightly, nodding as well.

"I'll keep it in mind."

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"You're still awake." He notes as he sits down on the edge of the pulled out sofa, having left his bedroom to grab a glass of water in the middle of the night, and you sigh, admitting it with that reaction. "What's on your mind?" He asks, and you shrug, turning towards him.

It'd be selfish to ask him to sleep in the same bed with you again, right? After all, this week is about sex, and finding out if you're.. physically compatible, so to say. Or maybe not even that. He'd just said he wants to convince you of his ways, not that he'd be with you at the end of this week. Have you lost that out of sight, already?

It's only Tuesday, and you're already somewhat regretting things. It feels weird, like that feeling of disappointment you get when thinking of a past experience or achievement you missed out on because you'd been simply stupid or selfish.

This doesn't mean anything to him. He's just so caring because that's what he's like with everyone he fucks.

"Nothing." You say, refusing to open up to him, and he doesn't know what brought that on. He's not sure what he's supposed to do now- after all, you both agreed to exploring each other on an intimate level, but you didn't actually clarify if you wanted to explore anything romantic either. He doesn't want to overstep a line for you, doesn't want to push anything you wouldn't feel comfortable with.

But at the same time, he can't help but feel like you're constantly reaching out for his heart, though careful, and unsure.

"If it keeps you up at night it's not nothing." He declines your answer, reaching out to adjust one of the pillows so it doesn't hide your face from him. "Tell me. I can't help if I don't know what's going on." He reminds you, and you stay still for a moment or two, clock on the wall of his open kitchenette ticking the only sound in the apartment for a good while.

"I think I-" You start, unable to finish that sentence how you'd like to.

I think I'm falling in love with you.

"I think I don't want to sleep alone." You instead say out loud, sounding horribly selfish in your own ears. But he just chuckles and nods, patting the blanket you're under.

"Scoot over then." He teases, making you move just like he'd requested, before he sneaks underneath the blanket where you're already warm and cozy. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asks quietly, as you look at him in the darkness of the apartment.

You nod, silently, hoping he sees.

He does- but he doesn't believe in it. There's something on your mind you're not telling him, and he knows he's gonna have to coax it out of you at some point this week, because there's this odd feeling in his chest that suspects, and maybe even hopes, that what he himself is feeling might just be what you're battling with as well.

And he wants to hear you say it.

He wants you to love him.

[thedarlingdearestdead]

The Jedi Way:

A quick oneshot for Anakin Skywalker! Might do a pt2 depending... Ok I did - here it is.

Summary: Anakin questions the war and his place in it, you interrupt him and try to calm him down, it does not work, he just gets wound up...

Warnings: MATURE, almost smut, dub!con kiss, angst, jedi heresy, etc.

Word count: 1,070

Anakin wasn't quite sure how he had ended up here, but he wasn't upset about it. For the first time in a long time, the world had gone quiet, and he relished the feeling. It was far too often these days that the Force became too loud for him to concentrate, for him to function. He knew it was becoming a problem but wasn't sure how to fix it. He also wasn't willing to think about it now, not when he had finally gotten some peace.

Rain was falling outside of the windows at the Jedi Temple where Anakin had returned just days before. He hadn't yet been assigned another mission, and he hadn't yet asked either. His head still buzzed with energy and fire from the days before; he'd been finding it hard to breathe, hard to focus. It was by accident that he arrived at the edge of the gardens, looking out of the large window at the end of the pavilion. He acknowledged that it might have been a habit from his days as a Padawan.

His master was always keen on this room, always brought Anakin here to practice meditating. The humidity was slightly comforting to Anakin in its warmth.

Perhaps he should try meditating. Anakin was usually so restless, but recently, he just felt tired. Tired of the war.

"Anakin?"

Of course, it was you; you always had the ability to find him. Anakin turned with a small smile on his face. "Where did you come from?"

"Master Plo and I just landed; he is doing a debrief with the Council, and, I fear, picking up another mission."

"So you're on a layover?"

"Practically. What are you still doing here? I thought the Hoth offensive ended days ago?"

He looked down at his hand; the blurry memory of blood and ash turned them red and marked in his mind. He cringed slightly and pocketed his hands in his cloak. "Yeah, well, I'm sure I'll be off again soon too."

His shoulders were uncharacteristically slumped. It had been a while since you had seen your childhood friend but surely this change in demeanour was wrought by something… 

“Anakin, what's wrong?” 

In that moment, he made a conscious choice: to tell the truth. Maybe you would understand. If any one could… ”It’s been a long war."

You reached across to him and grabbed his hand, standing beside him much closer and staring out of the window into the storm. Battle fatigue was common, you had seen it in many of your clone forces in the past months. You sighed and attempted to reassure him, to give him some of your spirit and strength, whatever remained you would share with him. 

"I know you're tired—"

"I'm not tired.” His voice was stony, stubborn, frustrated.

"I know the last few trips have been hard—"

"It's not just the last few trips."

"I know."

"Do you? I thought you would but now I wonder. How can you, and I, and everyone else know and let it continue… Why are you asking me questions? It is so obvious what is wrong.” Anakin's voice grew in volume as he continued, "The Jedi Council—"

"Anakin, stop talking."

"No, I have to. I have to speak. How can you not? How can you stand there and look at me like I'm crazy? I'm not crazy. You have to know this has gone too far." He was looking down at you now, almost challenging. He edged toward you, and you shuffled backward through reflex. “Something has to be done, some decisive action taken. There is a reason the war is continuing for so long, it isn’t an accident.”

"Anakin, you scare me sometimes. The things you say…"

Anxiety now flushed through Anakin's system. A horrible icy cold of misunderstanding, because you didn't get it. You were far too caught up in the Council's propaganda, you hadn't experienced the things that he had.

"What about the things I do? All I want is for the council to listen, to think about what I say. They exclude me but have I done anything wrong?" He was expectant, he was insistent. 

"Not yet. But you’re going somewhere dangerous. And there are some lines you should not cross.”

And suddenly, you weren't talking about the war. You were talking about the air between your bodies, the unlit spark, the quiet buzz which surrounded the two of you whenever you were alone.

He searched your eyes for a minute, angry and determined to make you see. Make you realise. And suddenly, he kissed you. His hand immediately came up to grip your face, pull you toward him. His lips were hot and all-consuming in their hunger. It took a moment for your mind to awaken to your reality, and you shoved him away violently.

"What do you think you're doing!?”

His lips were red and swollen, so were yours, you assumed. He didn't seem the slightest bit put out by your rejection.

"I'm doing what I have to do to make you understand. Don't tell me you've never thought of it; I know you have. I've felt it."

You bristled and blushed, ”I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Anakin, please…"

"Say that again." Now he moved back toward you with a dangerous, devilish look in his eye, backing you up against the window as you unsteadily attempted to push him off. One meek hand rested on his chest.

"It isn't the Jedi way…"

You were looking down at your fingers splayed on his chest in fickle protestation. His beautiful muscled chest.

"Let me teach you the Jedi way.”

As Anakin's lips hovered tantalisingly close to yours, a storm of emotions raged within you. Your heart pounded, and you felt a heat rise in your cheeks. The rain outside the window intensified, matching the tumultuous uncertainty inside the pavilion.

You took a deep breath and tried to gather your thoughts. Anakin's persistent advances had caught you off guard, but you couldn't deny the undeniable attraction that had simmered beneath the surface for years. The unspoken tension between you and Anakin, your fellow Jedi, had grown to a breaking point.

His intense gaze bore into your eyes, demanding a response. The connection between you two, an unspoken bond formed through countless missions and shared experiences, had reached a pivotal moment.

He leaned in again and you couldn’t help but to surrender. 

[zoros-sake-bottles]

What you’d argue with them over ! Pt.1 (Zoro, Sanji & Law)

Zoro

-Your arguing about him not taking care of his body

Zoro is willing to stretch his body to any length in order to defeat his opponent, he will break all his bones and loose half of his blood-he doesn’t care at all

He cannot and will not lose before he fights Mi-hawk and steals the title of greatest swordsman

You understand….BUT YOU CANNOT STAND IT

After every battle your left pale at the sight of Zoro, mortified at how he lays on his back in a sweat, bleeding and breathing so heavily 

By the time Chopper gets to him he’s barely conscious and each time you fear the worst. But of course since this is Zoro he pops right back up after a couple hours rest and instantly tries to train

“Lay down” you say your eyes meeting his

He sits up against your wishes and tries to stretch resulting in a spurt of blood from his abdomen

"moron" you mumble forcing him down

Its silent between the two of you as the topic of the afternoon hangs over you both

Your glaring at your boyfriend and he can feel it, so he turns his head away from you

He knows that your arms are crossed and your jaw is clenched

He knows your livid and he also knows why but no matter how intimidating your stance is he won't back down

"Oi, stop looking at me like that-"

"Shut the hell up" you say, your voice sharp and pointy like the edge of a knife

Zoro turns his head as he's about to give you a piece of his mind 

"I don't want to hear it, I'm done. You don't care then I won't care" 

"Go out and die then, selfish prick" you spat

Zoro huffs in disbelief, you've never gotten this callous with him before and he can't believe it 

"If I die that means I failed my goal and didn't deserve the title I was going after, I'm going to push myself beyond my limits whether you like it or not y/n!"

You get up and walk out of the room

You seemed so calm but underneath you were just seething

Zoro had basically just told you that your opinion meant nothing to him and that if he died then he just died

Did he ever really think about you? Did he think about how his death would affect you? How it would affect the crew? 

You bet Mi-hawk recuperates, you knew for a fact that he wasn't dumb and reckless like your boyfriend was

By the way Zoro was doing things, he was going to die from over exhaustion, rather than an actual fight

You cared so much and you hated it

Often there were times when you wanted to tell him "No, you can't go yet" "Zoro your wounds are still healing" "Don't lift weights the stitches will come loose" 

But you never said anything because you knew he would ignore you, telling you to stop nagging and that you were over exaggerating

You were sick and tired of it, so now you were going to let him be 

 Sanji

-Your arguing about him being sweet to other women

Arguments are rare things , that's how good the two of you get along

You’ve always been that solid couple that remembers everything: dates, anniversaries, birthdays-etc.etc.

So for the two of you to have a disagreement it kind of freaked you out

Your fights were always centered around two things: Sanji’s hyper attentiveness to other women's needs and you putting yourself in danger for the safety of others

Today it was the hyper attentiveness

You just couldn’t understand it sometimes, why he went out of his way to do things for girls who clearly had no intention of making nice with him

He would be any woman's doormat! It drove you insane!

You were all for the “respect and never hurt a woman” attitude but the things he allowed-it was a cross of boundaries ! 

Not to mention he was totally oblivious to when women were subtly flirting with him, every time he got bumped against, groped & touched- he just smiled politely

You were a calm and rational person but unfortunately someone got a fist to the face today

You had stormed away, with him apologizing to your victim and chasing after you in your wake

He tried to stop you and talk but you ended up blowing up on him

"Darling-please-" he tried to reach out for your arm

"Don't Sanji! Don't even-I can't do this right now!" you yank away from him

Still he follows behind you like he almost always does

"I can't believe you let that woman touch your chest!" 

"Ma cheri she simply fell into me-”

“What did she trip on Sanji?! The air!?

Sanji loves you more than anything so he didn’t shout not once but you could hear it in his voice that he didn’t agree with the way you handled things

It was no point in talking if he wasn’t going to understand so you left him there and didn’t talk to him much after that

Law

-Your arguing about him not communicating with you properly

This man is a loner

Even with a complete crew, he’s still a loner

You can’t even fathom how your relationship had gotten this far

There's so much he doesn’t tell you, even the small things everyone should know “oh I'm allergic to….  I don’t like when you….  I changed the ….” NOTHING HE TELLS YOU NOTHING

He often does this thing were he underestimates you 

Law operates on his own, he goes by what he thinks is best

You could talk up a whole plan for battle and research ! He would tell you “okay” but when it comes to the day of acting out the plan he’s changed EVERYTHING about it and hasn’t spoken a WORD to you

“Law, are you dead serious?! Wha-I-I looked like an idiot out there! Why didn’t you say anything sooner?!” you stressed running your hands through your hair

“Y/n- ya it wasn’t that much of a change I simply-”

“I was telling everyone the wrong information! I cost us time and-and-”

“It was fine, I'm telling you, your overthinking it…Bepo and Penguin took over and in the end everything was ok, we didn’t draw much attention either” he stood in the door of your shared room with his arms crossed

He clearly didn’t understand why you were so upset, he didn’t understand the magnitude of the issue for you

“Law, look at me…” you glared at your boyfriend

“I WANTED to help, I WANTED them to trust and follow my lead as a fellow member of this crew! Today all I showed them was that i am a clueless buffoon who just so happens to date their captain” your fist balled up

“Nobody thinks that” he raised an eyebrow, dismissing your thoughts and feelings

You were a steaming pot and just like that you were over boiling

“Will you stop treating me like I'm some blasted kid?! I'm 24, for goodness sakes Law are you even listening to me when I talk?!” you shouted but it seemed to have no affect on him

Law stayed silent in the corner and he didn’t move a muscle

You felt like you were talking to a wall

Your eyes glossed over and you stood up and pushed past him, tired of being dismissed and handled like you were incapable 

https://www.tumblr.com/zoros-sake-bottles/730292614007603200/what-youd-argue-with-them-over-pt2-zoro-sanji?source=share

[nouvxllev]

Absolutely love your work! And was ecstatic when I found out you also did Emma myers! And you write so well!! 🥹 I don’t know if you’ll be up to this, so don’t feel the need I know your probably a busy bee. But I wanted to know since you do Emma myers, if you’d be willing to to do a cc Walker aged up fic, maybe where cc is in college, and she’s in a relationship with reader (I absolutely loved your jealous Tara fic) but I was wondering if you could do cc, but make it a little more soft, and possessive? Like Cc is more afraid that reader will leave her? And just soft smut? (Sapphic of course) if not then I understand. I also wanted to know if once A good girls guide to murder comes out, will you be doing pop x reader? Because Emma is so cute as pip! ❤️❤️

would it kill you to look at me instead?

Pairing: CC Walker x Fem!Reader

Summary: ^^ request!!

Words: 5k (i was not expecting that damn)

Warnings: soft smut, slight angst. actually idk if its cut out to be angst, possessive cc aaaaaaa, author forgot how to actually write good stories

a/n: thank you so so sooo much!!!! and i was absolutely in love with agggtm when i read the book (i even got the whole series on my bookshelf!) so ofc ill be doing a pip x reader soon. hope i got to your expectations, anon.

masterlist.

"CC, what's up with you?"

Ava trailed after her, CC's shoes skittering along the hallway like some kind of menace, the slam of her door from her dorm was still echoing in Ava's ears.

Despite having just finished training five minutes ago, CC's steps were quick. Like they were avoiding any sort of conversation, she didn't even know why or where she was going.

"CC, please, you haven't even talked to me in a week!" Ava caught up to her, nearly tackling the girl to keep pace with her steps.

"Okay, what?" The blonde turned around abruptly, wind catching in her hair. She almost could roll her eyes if not for Ava being the sweetest being on this earth. "What, for fucks sake, what is so wrong with me?"

"That." She gestured using her pointer finger while the shorter girl pulled her lips into a thin line, "You keep snapping at everyone, and you've been staring daggers at the squad all week. It was mild at first, but now you look like you want to bury them in front of their families."

Ava leaned in further, squinting her eyes as she crosses her arms, "...Also you have these deep eyebags under your eyes."

CC's shoulder slumped, letting out an heavy sigh while her eyes closed. It burns, burns like fucking hell.

"I—"

Ava jumped forward, her eyes furrowing almost immediately, "Don't say because of exams since you're doing pretty good in terms of academics. You're even top in your classes."

"Well, fine. It's—"

"Don't say soccer too because I know your eyebags only come out of hiding when it's tournament or championship season."

"Okay, Wyatt—"

"Yale is like a million miles from us, CC. Also you don't even text Wyatt unless you need something."

"Well, I..." CC fidgeted under her, her head tilting left and right, "We've, my girlfriend have.... Have been fucking. Sex. Alot. Major, huge sex. Like, up and down, sideways, horizontally, transversally—"

"Alright, no," Ava pulled out her hand and stopped her, her other pinching the bridge of her nose, "Not in any universe would I want to hear about you and y/ns sex life."

CC chuckled, the only laugh she could ever muster. "Look, college's been kicking my ass lately and I'm just tired, really. Nothing to worry about." In all truth and oaths, she was.

She was tired.

For all the different reasons. Might even be petty ones.

So tired of hearing that one name—Clarissa Grey—coming out of your, admittedly so attractive, pretty mouth. She was a transferee yet she already caught your attention with a single 'hey, i'm new here, can you show me around?'

It had been five weekdays, not even counting weekends where Clarissa horribly clung onto you outside of school, of having your presence found nowhere but with that girl.

Normally, CC would spend every waking hour, if not for soccer, with you and you only. Clinging to your arms, holding your warm hands, tip-toeing to kiss your pretty lips she so adored, bringing you to the most expensive places you wanted, and most especially waking up with you in the early morning with your body sprawled atop hers.

It was bliss.

Was.

Now that CC was constantly being pulled to practice she couldn't spend as much time as she wanted with you. Meanwhile, Clarissa had you wrapped around her arms.

In short, Clarissa Grey is and will forever be a pain in the ass.

Clarissa—Insufferable, torturous, agonizing, intolerable, girlfriend-hogging—Grey.

She hated her.

Well, not hated. It's a strong word, a word she couldn't ever describe your, her forever beloved girlfriend, friends. Yet this girl got on her nerves more than ever.

And she's pretty sure this girl's been trying to get into your pants more than CC ever does after a rough game.

Clarissa was fine at first. CC wasn't those controlling partners who didn't allow their other to have friends; in fact, she was happy that you found a friend in the new transferee from across the world.

Now she felt like she was about to butcher the girl from mouth to anus if she ever so much as catching a wind of her presence of how she was constantly stealing you away from her.

CC took months just to muster a hi and introduce herself (through text mind you) and she didn't even check her phone for weeks after it. New girl did it in one damn day.

How could one even out-girlfriend a girlfriend of three years?

Now whenever it hits midnight and CC is finally in your arms all she could hear is:

"I'm so sorry baby, Clarissa made some plans for us."

"Sorry, CC. I have something to do with Clarissa on that date."

"Clarissa wanted to…"

"Baby, is it alright if Clarissa invited me to…"

"CC! Check it out, Clarissa just…

It's ridiculous and all CC could say was a simple yeah sure and a nod like she wasn't going to bash Clarissa's head in with a soccer ball.

She'd admit that even you get the end of the stick with her attention sometimes because of her first-class popularity that always seemed to stick around, but either way she felt really bad.

Jealousy was a stupid emotion which a stupid college girl, mind you, like her was stupidly experiencing. She was 19 experiencing her old 13 year old problems if she met you a bit more earlier. But who wouldn't get jealous?

She had the same interests as you, the same personality, likes the same movies as you, you both had an interest in whatever artist you were listening too.

She practically hung out with you everyday with how the both of you took the same classes and courses. The two of you were perfect on paper.

Clarissa wasn't some soccer-obssessed girl who doesn't spend her time in training for championships that you found yourself spending every second with her if CC wasn't around.

She has a great fashion sense without looking like whatever a 'teenybopper' is or someone dressed like Adam Sandlers.

She's probably great at cooking.

She kept her room impossibly clean as if it were brand new that you found impressive everytime she invited the both of you to her dorm.

She had this amazing ball of sunshine whenever she entered the room like it was a plague.

She probably followed what her mom told her to be when she gets into college.

She was pretty too. Her hair all shiny and she carried absolute grace and poise. Who wouldn't like her?

And that smile of hers? You found it nice. Charming, captivating. Even CC found it enchanting, it was all so surreal.

You liked her, most of all.

Shit.

Not that CC could ever doubt your loyalty to her; hell, she could invite every former crush and celebrity crush you had, and you wouldn't even bat a single eye towards them. You'd even try to desperately find the girl even if she wasn't in the room.

She doubted herself.

Who was she if not for you?

She just missed you. So much. It's killing her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"CC!" You yelled, a smile creeping up your lips as you watched her jog up the bleachers in her new shoes you bought for her as an anniversary gift, it was an understatement to say that she loved it.

You watched how her exhausted face broke into a slight smile that managed to never fail to make your heart grow a garden of flowers trying to mimic her beauty, her eyes lighting up by the mere sight of you.

When she finally reached you, she practically melted into your inviting embrace. You held her chose, feeling the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she caught her breath, her exhaustion from practice matches slowly going away from being in the comfort of our arms.

You feel how her breaths gradually steadied, her heartbeat turned into its normal pace, her hands snaking up to your back while she buried her head into you, subtly peppering gentle kisses along your neck.

"Y/n..." She murmured, pulling her head away slightly and turning to the side.

Your arms stayed lingered around her waist, "Yeah, baby?"

She shook her head, eyebrows slightly knitting themselves as her gaze drifted at the seats as she inched closer to your ear, "Why... why is she here?" She squeezed your hand that was wrapped around her.

You followed her line of sight to where Clarissa sat on the bleachers right next to you, watching the players off to the side at her own time.

"Well, she wanted to come along with me," you explained with a shrug, "so I brought her here." A soft smile gracing your lips as you glanced at CC who didn't match your sunny expression.

"You guys done yet?" She looked up at the both of you, her voice was oddly monotone and disinterested. Unlike a few moments ago where she was clinging onto your arm while laughing.

You lowered your arms from CC's body as you sat beside Clarissa, gesturing to your girlfriend to slightly introduce her even if they already met a couple of times.

You didn't miss the way CC's face twisted into a grimace one as she crossed her arms, mumbling a slightly less than thrilled exclaim, "Fantastic."

"It is fine for me to cheer you on, right?" Clarissa smiled. Way too innocently at CC as if she wasn't just staring her down, the change in her tone didn't go unnoticed.

"Yeah. Yeah sure, whatever." CC replied, albeit the response came through gritted teeth as she picked up a waterbottle that sat beside you.

Clarissa smiled, laughed even, before leaning her head against you. "We have something to go after anyways, right y/n?" She looked up at you, innocent eyes that definitely didn't mimic yours as you stuttered out a response.

"We do? I didn't—"

"Okay, no, that's—!" CC's reaction was swift, immediately pulling you closer to her side, her hand having a firm grip on your arm as her voice rose in frustration yet faltered.

CC paused, seemingly collecting herself. You turned to her, confusion etched in your face, while Clarissa had a slight tug in her lips.

"That's... perfect. Amazing," she finally managed to say, letting go of her tight grip on you before standing up. "Sorry, I really have to go, I think they're calling for me. Enjoy whatever plans the both of you have."

You hear Clarissa giggle as you watch CC walk down the steps, her waterbottle discarded onto a nearby trashcan. It wasn't even half done. "Guess she doesn't like me, huh?"

A soft sigh escape your lips, your mood officially worried and concerned about CC before turning to Clarissa, "Yeah... Yeah, sorry, we have plans?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nothing could be more worrying than allowing your girlfriend CC-can't-really-monitor-her-liquor-properly-Walker attend a night party held by her teammates as some sort of 'pre-celebration' before a game.

You were already deprived out of her presence, being that you always stuck with that new girl you couldn't really find time to hang out with your girlfriend no longer than 30 minutes.

Not to mention what happened a few hours ago.

You miss her so much its tearing you apart. Unfortunately you're the book definition of a people pleaser so you took the courage to show Clarissa around for a few weeks until she got comfortable with the setting.

Most of the times CC would invite you to come along with to parties. Rejection often means she would be clinging onto your back like a koala and making out with you until the words associated with your academics disappeared from your mind.

Now she just entered the dorm, gave you a single kiss without explanation, and a simple text minutes later just stating 'ill be at a party. see you midnight xx.'

That in itself made you worried. No normal breathing CC Walker would ever use perfect grammar or would her be's or you's spelled correctly without any missing letters.

So imagine your surprise when she arrived two hours before twelve. Wasted and slightly teary-eyed, her pretty eyes avoiding looking at your direction. It was an understatement that the sight broke your heart.

"CC?" You rushed to her side almost immediately, ignoring the concerns of the amount of tasks you had on your desk.

You were met with silence. "CC, baby, are you alright? Did something happen?" you asked softly, "love, hey, look at me." You reach out to steady her as she swayed on her feet more and more in her intoxicated state until she reached her bed.

She shrugged off your touch, feeling a nagging sting in your heart that burned a void inside of you. You watched as she mutter something unintelligible under her breath, gritting her teeth as she stared at the ground.

"CC, talk to me." You carefully sat with her against your bed, fetching her the water that has been sitting on your desk, tilting your head to get her attention.

Her head turned to you, her eyes glassy and unfocused. Her pretty eyes that you adored were almost teary-eyed, "Would it kill you to look at me instead, y/n?"

"CC..." you tilted your head, your eyebrows furrowing, "CC... what? What are you talking about?"

"Why are you always with her? Clarissa?" Her name almost felt like poison in her mouth, awaiting to be spit out in venom, "Why is she always with you when I'm not around? Why are you always looking at her even if I'm mere inches away from you?"

She shook her head before you could respond, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. "It's dumb. I know you're allowed to spend time with your friends. And even more to her since she's new and everything. You could spend time with anyone and I wouldn't care but I—" She took a deep breath, "Every time I see you with her, it's like… like she's much more of a good girlfriend than me you know? Because she likes you. It's kind of clear."

You couldn't feel anything but that gruesome feeling that's eating you apart. You could feel your heart tearing your own self apart as she spoke more.

"She looks at you as if you're hers, y/n. Not to mention she's always touching you, calling you names, always going out of her way to be alone with you... I mean, she asked you out as a joke. Multiple times."

"CC I never thought…" You feel a lump forming in your throat, her words heavy on your heart that were surely more heavier on hers. "I'm sorry, CC."

You reached out to cup her cheek, her body turning to face you, your thumb gently wiping a stray tear that fell on her face. "I'm so sorry, CC. You're not losing me. You will never lose me," you whispered, "I care about you more than anything. More than I breathe. I'm so sorry I made you feel like you were losing me. You have my whole heart, my body, my very soul."

Her gaze softened slightly, you could see that familiar glint you always loved to look at when you locked eyes with her. You missed it. "Is that a promise?"

Gently, you brushed your fingers against her cheek, pressing delicate kisses to her soft skin. "Far more important than a promise. I'll keep it like an oath on my life."

You let your arms wrap around her, feeling her slumping against you, curling against herself between your arms like she was trying to drown all of her burdens for you. "I'm just afraid that you'll leave me. I'm sorry for blowing up on you. I'm sure Clarissa is great."

CC felt warm, comforting, a presence that made you feel like everything to her, how she always kept you grounded. "It's alright, CC. I've been there before, don't worry. And for the record, I'm kind of getting tired of showing her around. Just a slight bit. I'll try introducing her to some people."

CC smiled against your neck, "You don't have to ignore her completely, baby. It's fine. I think my insecurities just got the best of me."

She's as comforting as the day you met her. The comforting sense of love, how you'd wake yourself up everyday just to see her face. Even if your heart gives out, you'd work through turmoil for it to beat for her. Even if you're tired, you'd manage enough energy for her to enjoy life with you.

"I'll never let you doubt my love for you again. No one could ever replace what I'm feeling with you, no one could ever replace you. You're simply everything baby, everything that life never gave me and everything life never offered."

You press a tender kiss to her forehead before making your way to her lap, pulling her collar and capturing her lips in a soft yet deep kiss.

CC responded eagerly to your kiss, closing her eyes while she let her hands wrap around your waist as she parted her lips to invite yours in as her tongue slipped between them.

With a low groan of ecstasy, you welcomed her intrusion, your own tongue fighting with hers yet you surrendered almost immediately, every touch of her in on your body sent shivers down your spine, leaving you craving for more of her.

You could feel her hands sliding under your shirt, the simple warmth of her touch, how her fingers glided smoothly against your skin and trailing to your chest was like reassurance that you were wanted and loved by her, how you were only hers.

"Baby…" you managed to murmur between her assaulting kisses that only seemed to spur her on as you went limp on her body, "have I ever told you I love the way you talk..."

You couldn't help but grin at the soft chuckle that escaped her pretty lips at your words, her kisses only growing more fervent as CC pressed herself against you all while she looked up at you with those eyes, waiting for you.

"The way you smile…" you trailed off, tugging at her shirt, tracing your fingers along her jawline, "the way you get jealous, the way you get so competitive sometimes, the way you look so lovely every waking moment, it's intoxicating."

You kissed her deeply, savoring the taste of her lips as you softly bit at her bottom lip, your voice turning husky and needy with desire, "Most importantly, I love the way you fuck me into your bed every night. You know no girl could drive me insane like what you're doing to me right now."

You didn't miss how CC's breath hitched at your words, how her eyes darkened with desire almost immediately as she pulled you by the collar of your shirt and flipped the both of you around. her hands roaming all over your body as she mumbled to her breath.

"I want you," she pleaded, "I need you, y/n, please." It wasn't a question, she needed this.

You wrapped your legs around her waist, pulling her close, feeling the heat of her body on top of yours as you mumbled a weak 'yes.'

CC took her time in showering you with the amount of kisses she wanted to give you, offering everything you needed with tenderness you never thought existed, the special attention that she always showed to you, worshipping every inch of your body.

She looked up at you, noticing the way your eyes closed, uncertain of whether it was out of pure bliss or discomfort. "Y/n, is this okay?", she asked softly, squeezing your hand that laid off to the side.

That was the thing about CC that you always adored, how she took the time to make sure you were comfortable in whatever she was doing. Whether she was rough or not, she was still so gentle with you, treating you as if you were porcelain about to break.

In the span of three years, her sweet and caring nature never faded no matter how much time you'll be spending time with her. She was the sweetest girl that only you knew.

You smiled at her, "Yes, CC, everything is okay. Just remind me of how much I'm yours to handle."

She nodded before returning to her usual, pulling up your shirt until it was completely off your body, "You're always so gorgeous…" She whispered against your skin, pressing her lips on your body, trailing down your chest. Each touch was gentle and tender, all just for you to feel cherished.

"I'm gonna take it off, okay, sweetheart?" CC murmured before she was lifting up your hips herself, her fingers sliding into your waistband and discarding your shorts and undergarments off to the side.

You gasped at the sudden cold air hitting your warmth as CC knelt below you to get the perfect view of your pretty pussy she so adored.

You suck a moan under her hot breath against your clit, her arms wrapping around your thighs to pull you in, "Baby, please…"

"I'll get there, pretty girl." CC whispered, taking soft licks of your juices, lapping them as she inched a little further into your warmth, groaning against you.

She looked up, watching how your body reacts with her each touch she had on you, whether she should follow your wants or what she needs to be satisfied.

She could see the flicker of pleasure in your eyes, the way your breath hitched, how you sound with every whine that elicited from your glossy lips, the way you try to cover your moans with your palm.

CC moved away, your needy whine didn't go unnoticed, her lips brushing against your wet clit before wrapping around the needy warmth and sucking gently, your body instinctively creating the perfect arch, your hips rolling into your face as you chased to get the most friction out of her mouth as she held you down by her arms.

But just as you felt nearing an orgasm, CC pulled away, only leaving you panting and wanting more.

She towered over you, spreading your legs as she leaned in closer, the sight of your juices on your lips turned you on even more.

"What do you want, baby? Tell me," she whispered, leaning in closer and planting soft kisses along your face as she waited for your answer.

"You… want you.. inside," you whispered, "want all of you, right now, please…" you moaned as the words spilled out of you in a desperate plea, discreetly rolling your hips against her thigh.

CC smiled down at you, her touch gentle and loving as her hands trailed down below to caress your soft skin before giving you what you wanted, while the other hand held up your head, showering you with praises after praises.

You kissed her back, feeling her fingers slowly inching towards your entrance that sent shivers down your spine. You tried to kiss her once again, trying to drown out your rather loud moans yet your efforts failed.

"Such a good girl, you're taking me so well..." CC praised you, smiling against your lips, "You're so pretty like this, baby. All just for me." She inserted all three fingers inside of you, stretching you out in the most delicious way possible.

"F-fuck! CC, please," you moaned, looking up at her as she looked right at you back, covering your mouth with only your palm. Getting caught having sex with your girlfriend at night in a literal college dorm wasn't in your applications at all.

CC, however, seemed unfazed as she panted, rolling and curling her fingers inside of your warm heat, always finding that one spot that had you seeing stars. "Are you close?" she asked, speeding up her pace.

You could only nod frantically in response, feeling a knot tightening in your stomach, "Yes, yeah, I'm close," you gasped, your body almost trembling in pleasure.

"You know, Clarissa is only a dorm away from us." She took hold of your wrists and held them high above your head, her grip still soft to touch, like she was still trying to take care of you. "You're going to scream my name. Not 'baby', not 'love', not Clarissa or whatever her name is. Not anyone."

Your eyes widened in surprise, your mouth opening to protest, but you were cut off before you could speak.

"I want everybody to hear that you're mine, especially her." She continued, her fingers pushing deep into you as you arched your back, "I want her to know how good I'm fucking you, how well you're taking every inch of me. Tell them what a good girl you are for me."

In your clouded haze, you desperately nodded with half-lidded eyes that stared back at her, your mouth half opened as she kept eliciting pathetic moans and whines from your lips.

"M' gonna cum, baby… CC, please," you whimpered, your voice strained and coming out in choked sobs, feeling the knot tightening deep inside of you. CC relentlessly pushed you closer to the edge, your back arching as she whispered praises after praises.

She released your arms from her grasp and you immediately wrap them around her neck, pulling her impossibly close to your body, her fingers thrusting deeper inside of your pussy while her thumb traced your clit in circles.

"Don't hold it, y/n. Cum for me, pretty girl, it's alright," she whispered as you brought her close to your neck, pressing one last kiss to your skin, satisfying everything inside of you with one last thrust.

You cum almost immediately after, "CC! F-fuck!" you moaned, making sure everyone can hear you. Your walls clenched around her fingers all while she still tried to pump them in and out of you, her hand slick with your cum that went nowhere but down her palm.

You wrap your legs around her waist, seeking support in her body as your own trembled in pleasure, your back arching as you gradually went down from your high, "M' all yours, CC! S-shit, you're fucking me so well!" you gasped, your words coming out in ragged breaths as you were brought to a back to back orgasm.

While you were coming down from your high, CC was already showering you with kisses all over your body, whispering sweet nothings, words of praises and adoration that automatically flowed on instinct from her lips, "I'm right here, y/n. God, you're so so so perfect."

When she felt your body begin to relax, going limp on CC, she gently withdrew from you, reaching out for a nearby stand to grab a pair of tissues. She wiped her fingers clean and gently cleaned the beads of sweat that formed on your forehead.

"You did so well, baby," she murmured, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips. "I'm so proud of you, pretty girl. I love you so much."

CC slid her arms under your body, lifting you up and placing you against the headboard, taking note of how your eyes were shut close and your breaths were slightly labored. "Y/n? Y/n, are you alright? Was I too much?"

You chuckled softly, opening your eyes to meet her gaze as she settled into your lap, her arms wrapping around you protectively. Like you'd run away and never return into her hold. Her eyes were too pretty, too full with love and care for you, almost as if you already died and went to heaven.

"You were too soft, actually." you laughed, leaning in to kiss her, tasting her natural lipgloss with the mix of your juices; an odd taste you'd say. "Is that what jealousy gets to CC Walker?"

"Definitely not," she replied almost immediately. "But seeing you with her makes me feel like I am. I needed to feel close to you, for you to feel close to me…" Her voice trailed off, her words faltering. She was always the one who talked alot about her feelings, yet it always seemed so distant and struggled.

"Well, you're not really mine mine since, of course, you don't really belong to anybody. Hell, even I don't own you and no one should think that! But you know I just—"

You reached up to cup her cheek as you cut her off, your thumb brushing lightly against her skin, a gentle smile playing on your lips.

"Oh, you know a girl batting her eyes at me won't change the way I feel about you. That's completely ridiculous," you reassured her. "You're always going to be my top 1. You have my birthday on your jersey for fuck sakes, who couldn't say no to that?"

Her lips curved into a smile, a relief expression is what you'd assume. "Guess you've brought up a solid argument," she laughed, leaning into your touch. "I'll run you a bath, okay?"

"I'll come with," you were already trying to stand up until CC pushed you back down.

"As... a trophy winner of an international soccer team, I suggest you lie back down. Maybe watch a couple of movies or two and let me do the taking care part." She leaned on your forehead and walked to the shower, already gathering your clothes and towel.

You sat up from the bed, a stupid smile across your face as you watched this girl do everything for you. Oh, the way she was so sweet for you was unbelievable. "Don't you need a degree for me to believe you?"

"Yeah!" She yelled across the room, "But I am your girlfriend and you believed me when I said I almost quit soccer because of a shoulder injury when in actuality it was my mom. So." She shrugged, already entering the shower and turning on the faucet before returning back to you.

"You're simply awful." You smiled as you watch her come back with a water and her laptop. "I love you." You say as you kiss her forehead.

"I love you too. So much." She smiled, "but one thing." She sat beside you, rising up a blanket to cover your naked body as she waited for the bathtub to fill. "You have to promise me that you'll keep your eyes on me. And me only."

"Still on Clarissa?"

"Unfortunately so."

You chuckle. "Then, I promise on my life that I'll keep my eyes only for CC Walker. And CC Walker only."

"Forever?"

"Forever and Always."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: this is longer than i anticipated it to be

[decolonize-the-left]

Is anyone else just completely disillusioned? Done?

I could not think any less of people still talking about celebrities or how their biggest issues are not having a Starbucks cup that's $50

Like why are we as a collective letting people like that run the lives of everyone on the planet? A planet rife with unnecessary conflict and greed? People who can't be bothered to just Not go to chick-fil-a?

Why are people who clearly value profit over humanity in charge of humanity, ykwim? How the fuck did that become a majority opinion?

I drive thru my nuclear town, I go to our community events, our local small businesses, I try to support my community in ways I can everyday. But I can't help but notice that So Many of the people who do that alongside me, don't show up to protest for the rights of the people they claim to support.

Its all so incredibly shallow and one dimensional and obviously disingenuous and why the fuck are the rest of STILL begging for the ability to make changes within the framework they built?

Why are we still making educational posts for them and trying to make them understand when the first thing we are taught about reaching understand is that you must first be willing to listen and they refuse.

The ruling classes never listened. Never, ever have they granted anyone any oppressed group rights that they asked for without the group needing to fight for it. And it's always after generations of oppression.

I'm fucking tired of being nice and pretending the laws they made up matter and like their socially constructed bureaucracy is the only way to make change to be quite fucking honest.

They're LUCKY we use it EVER and now they don't even fucking listen to our voicemails?

The only things stopping me from taking what's mine are disabilities and I'm Dying to know what everyone else's excuses are.

Or is that?

Are we all physically too incapable? Is every single able bodied person actually a liberal fascist?

Asking for the disabled Turtle Mountain Ojibwe person typing this who's life literally depends on y'all caring enough about other people to make life anything but a list of systematic circumstances I'll suffer from until I eventually die early of an illness I can't afford medical aids for and which are not provided for me either.

And if you're able bodied and you feel the same... Start working outside that framework and stop asking so nicely. Stop giving a shit if you don't have the support of the oppressors and their liberal foot soldiers.

Stop worrying about what CNN is gonna say about you because I promise that the people who matter and Understand you will be inspired to follow in your foot steps and supportive.

Get active in your co-ops, mutual aid groups, and consider training like you're black bloc.

Learn what direct action is and how to do it and start doing it. Just reading theory era is over.

More of this

less whatever the level of cognitive dissonance this is

Imagine saying 'i voted so I did everything I could' like the suffragettes didn't have an arson and bombing campaign because the people who Could vote were people benefitted from their systemic silence and thus did almost Nothing to help them get voting rights and they Refused to let oppressor laziness be their obstacle.

Yeah, they don't teach you that in Voting Matters School the suffragettes were bombing the UK just a year or two before they got their rights do they?

The only language oppressors will listen to is their own.

And I'm Tired of pretending otherwise because that delusion is what makes the privileged feel like they don't have to do anything but vote and makes them feel they're justified to criticize those of us that fight back through other avenues.

And maybe if we had politicians that gave a shit about any of us then those votes and movements and public sentiment would have a bigger sway in government, but they don't.

They don't fucking care.

Why are we still giving them power over any of us and letting them tell us what to do and demonize us when they use that power allowed to kill us and bury us in unmarked graves in some field in Mississippi? And make everything so expensive that the richest citizens on earth struggle to pay their bills?

Why can a government only "condemn" a state agent's right to shoot an unarmed protester 57 times, but they can bypass Congress to send Israel billions upon billions worth of weapons?

I'm tired of pretending this country is anything but a front for White Supremacists when every liberal I see is trying to gaslight everyone into thinking genocide is acceptable.

Shut the fuck up and get out of my equality tags, fascist.

[kathaynesart]

What do you take from the Rise movie’s “This isn’t about me,” message? *It’d be interesting to see this become a Tumblr thread cause I’d love to see what others think too.

That's... an important line to decipher. Deep enough to mean so many things but vague enough to be easily taken out of context. I have a lot to say about it, but I'll keep it under the cut to save others the trouble.

TLDR: Future Leo's a dum dum hypocrite

I think... when Leo used the line in the future timeline. He was trying to remind Casey of the harsh reality that they existed in. That this was a world where they sometimes had to set aside their personal wants for the greater good. It's for that reason that Leo was able to ask Mikey to do the unthinkable and sacrifice himself in turn.

What I find fascinating about the movie, is that it both supports and counters this message. It tries to find that healthy middle ground, between present Leo's narcissistic attitude in the beginning and the downright sacrifice he's willing to make by the end. Because him sacrificing himself was NOT the happy ending. And while we get that "ending" for only a moment. We can see that method doesn't feel right either.

In that way, I don't think "it's not about me" isn't actually the "message" of the movie as some might assume at first glance. Merely a gentle reminder to check yourself before you wreck yourself. Because technically, yes, "it's not about me" does apply to many aspects of life. We can get so caught up in our own worries and concerns and perspectives and it just... muddles reality in a way. We need to see how our actions and words affect others and understand that there's so much more out there than our own little bubbles. But we also should understand our own worth within the big tapestry of life and be willing to fight for the things that matter to us.

That's why I think the actual message of the story isn't "it's not about me." It's about balance. It's about the knowing look Leo and Raph share in the end and the fact that Mikey was able to achieve the true, best ending with his brother's help to save Leo, because they know that the world may mean more in the long run, but they mean the world to each other, and I think it's really important to understand.

But that's just my long-winded opinion on the subject and there’s plenty of other interpretations I think I can totally get behind as well. It will be an element within Replica but let's also remember that Future Leo is kind of hypocrite with this line. He's says "It's not about me" but that's coming from someone who the entire resistance has centered around as its leader. He's probably a little tired of the idolization by now and does not like the idea that he's somehow more important than others. I think that's where that line really stems from for Leo. It's obvious that Casey isn't just talking about his importance as a leader, but Leo with the same line is asking him to set those feelings aside even if he is one of the most important people in Casey's life.

And then Leo turns around and throws one of the most important people in his life through the portal. A damn hypocrite (/positive)

EDIT: I was sort of ending it on a silly note but @dandylovesturtles added such a great point that I haven’t been able to put into words but feel in my heart when it comes to future Leo and definitely something I want to show with the healing process he’s been going through in Replica: and that’s the “not all about you” sometimes just means that bad things happen but you can’t just blame yourself for it, and it’s not some cosmic attack for your mistakes. The world did not come to an end because of Leo’s mistake, even if he might have once felt like that. What’s more it means you can’t put the whole world on your shoulder or always try to fix things on your own like how Leo tried to after Raph’s capture. It’s ok to seek the aid and support and ideas of others your trust. It really lines up so well with a lot of the events in the film.

Thank you @dandylovesturtles and everyone else’s amazing comments! I want to hear all of them and take notes.

[enderwoah]

im so unwell about q!pac no its not even funny anymore i need to put him in a terrarium up on a shelf and keep him safe up there. he doesn't deserve any bad thing, ever. i don't even care about "having a good story" or "giving your character a conflict" anymore, nah, no, if ONE (1) MORE BAD THING HAPPENS TO HIM IM GONNA LOSE IT!! IM GONNA START BREAKING THINGS!!!

he's so. sad. hes such a sad character. his insecurities about being useless to everyone are so real and so painful because he's not, all of us know that he's not, but we also completely understand why he feels that way because he's had everyone he loves ripped away from him and he hasn't been able to lift a finger to stop any of it. he's just left to sit in the ruins without any help. he's collateral to all the tragedy surrounding him and the favela 5 in general and he's. tired. not in the way that cellbit is tired (though that works, too). he's exhausted of feeling sad all the time. of crying all the time. of feeling that loneliness that gnaws holes into his bones and settles in the marrow and never leaves, not when richas' bed is empty, not when mike's bedroom has started to collect dust, not when he can't see a real, tangible presence in forever's dilated eyes. the only person he has is cellbit, and he could never ask cellbit to give up what he still has when pac has nothing to lose (and god, how selfless, how kind is that?), so when he figures the only way to get an antidote to the drug is to have the drug itself, why wouldn't he offer himself up? and if that wasn't the only reason he tried to get his hands on it, who could blame him?

maybe he took it first to just feel the effects and understand the angle it took in affecting his mind. maybe he just took it for research. do you think he had slipped by the second time? do you think he took it once and, for a short thirty minutes, found that he could forget about all the sorrow lining his lungs and breathe? do you think reality crashed back onto him after that first try? do you think he was scrambling to take it again, to go back to that...maybe it wasn't blissful ignorance, per se, but willful disregard? do you think he couldn't wait to be submerged so deep that he couldn't think one more time? do you think he was hesitant? do you think he kept promising himself, one more, one more, one more...

god he is so. so sad. i was watching phil's pov, so everything was like a neat little movie for me, and just. cellbit and forever arguing while pac was just sobbing in the background was AWFUL. just. awful. it hurt. (cc!pac was damn good at acting, too, and that DID NOT HELP.) the moment he stepped on the trap i felt like i was hit with a brick. like no, of COURSE we should NOT be putting PAC in a CONFINED JAIL CELL. ALONE. and i know it was for his own good but i still felt so so so sick. the way he immediately curled up in the corner. the way he was crying to himself. the way he instantly answered richas' birthday the moment bad asked for it. the way he got visibly more upset and terrified when cellbit started shouting at forever. what the hell. no seriously what the HELL.

and, like, oh my god, making him the one to solve the antidote? proving that even though he may have fallen to the drug (the drug which was basically created by GODS, by the way, lets be real, the federation is nawt normal), he's still so useful. he's still such an asset. he's smart and he's kind and he's charismatic and he's trusting and he's so so selfless and so so brave and so strong. tubbo put it perfectly. the fact that he's gone through all the horrible awful stuff he's gone through and he's still standing just proves how capable he is. how tough he is. cellbit calling him "my dear." pointing out the fact that he sacrificed himself without knowing he was going to come back. "i'm only afraid of being sad again." "you will be sad again. but you won't be alone." he's so. he's just. he's. im frothing at the mouth. he gave himself up to save the rest of the island from this plague that took one of his best friends and might've taken the entire island if he didn't do anything. under that stress. experiencing that level of loss.

pac is one of the toughest goddamn people on the island and if anyone on that server even dares try to imply otherwise i will do heinous heinous things, mark my WORDS.

[ioniansunsets]

would you be willing to write about School AU Jock!Sett whose mama is the school nurse? i want Sett’s mama to get Sett to take care of you who visit the sick bay monthly for insane period cramps please 👉👈

✖ School AU! Sett Comfort ✖

✖ Word Count: 670

✖ Tags: Mutual Pining

✖ A/N: I imagine him as Vastayan still! Wasn't too sure if you wanted a scenario or headcanons so I wrote a little scenario for you. Have fun I got a little carried away and wrote a lot!

----

It was horrible. Absolute shit. You almost trip from the pain as you make your way to the nurses' office. The familiar smell of antiseptic hits your nose as you step in.

" Oh my are you alright? It's that time again huh?"

You nod as the sweet nurse helps you to the bed. You were a regular here, whenever it was that time of the month, you found yourself crippled in the infirmary beds. Over time you slowly figure out that the pretty Vastayan was the school's star player, Sett's, mom. His constant injuries making sense as to why his mother was the school nurse. Poor lady sees him every other sports game. It almost felt like he was getting hurt on purpose to be sent here sometimes.

" Sett! Come help."

She calls out to her son who was slacking off in the other bed. There's a small mumble as he gets up, the sound of the chair against the floor grating against your ears.

" I'm tired ma- Oh hey, its you again."

He whines as he gets up, his head pops through the curtain, about to complain, before he realizes it's you. He has gotten used to seeing you around, you were, too, a regular here anyway. He never really learnt your name, but by now he knew the routine to help you out.

Running off he comes back within minutes with a hot water bottle, painkillers with water and some chocolates from the secret stash in the infirmary. That damn jock was really fast! You thank him as you grab the array of things from his hands. He sits down by your side, almost affectionately patting your head as his ears seem to twitch, seemingly excited to be of use to you.

" Let me know if you need anything, the great Sett's got your back."

He laughs, giving you an almost cheesy wink. His signature cocky smile plastered across his face. It almost draws a laugh out of you. Seeing you smile again brings a warmth to his heart. Sett doesn't really understand what it was. Maybe it was just how you seem so genuinely appreciative of his help, or how you tolerate his boisterous activity. Or was it something more?

" Let me know if you wanna be alone alright?"

How could you chase him away, his messy hair falling to his face as he turns to smile at you. Sett's fluffy ears flicking to the side. His boyish charm was too much you let him stay. Sitting by your side, Sett does some homework on the desk beside you, just accompanying you while you suffer. Hoping his presence somehow comforted you. You don't even know why Sett's mom always gets him to help you out. Maybe she was just using him as some free manual labor for making her treat his bumps and bruises so often to be honest. After a few moments of silence he turns back to you.

" I read somewhere that having someone like, rub or hold your stomach or something helps...so if you uh...need some help I got you alright?"

It was almost adorable, his hand behind his head as he rubs his hair messing it up further. He read up on how to help you? How sweet! If you weren't blushing, Sett sure was. He had no reason to try and help you so much, was it him trying to do his job properly as his mom's helper or was it because of you? You couldn't figure it out but you gave him the OK anyway. His large warm hand lightly pressing against your abdomen. Surprisingly it helped. A lot. As the pains begin to fade, you can't help but drift off to sleep, exhausted from the cramps. Sett never left you side even through that, his left hand resting on you as he continued with his homework with his right. He was there for you, whatever small casual relationship the two of you had in this small room in the school.

[pansear-doodles]

-> Pansear ; any pronoun ; genderfluid bisexual (taken) ; Neurodivergent ; 21 ; April 9 ; Local Filipino

-> GAD and MDD (Please be patient with me, thank you)

-> If I blocked you(usually because you blocked me first or because I thought your account was a bot) and you wish to be unblocked, please lmk on an alternate account or friend.

Welcome to my blog. There's lots of important stuff under keep reading. So if you care and have the time, do read.

-> Hello. I'm Pansear. I have done stupid shit but also cool shit, and stupid cool shit. My stupid shit don't mean I'm being malicious- I think most of the time I was just silly or very emotional about it. I really like to draw, play specific video games, and enjoy animated content like movies and cartoons. I think animals are cool, plants are cool, sharks and aquatic creatures are cool, and for some reason I really like vending machines (I think they are exciting). I like to make food and eat them, and even draw them. I like video game music and music with guitars and bass in them. I really like plushies and collect those of my favorite characters.

-> Oh and speaking of Favorite characters... They're my blorbos alright and sometimes I accidentally project onto them. These blorbos include: Werewolf Cookie (Cookie Run), Legoshi (Beastars; look I even share birthdays with him!), Nick Wilde (Zootopia), Plague Knight (Shovel Knight), Artificer and Hunter (Rain World), Ichimatsu Matsuno (Osomatsu-san), Foxy the Pirate (FNAF), Pinkie Pie (MLP), Spamton (Deltarune), and a bunch of goth/edgy backstory and generally edgy/tired old men from Pokemon like Nanu and Larry. I could go on more but just know that if the character looks like they deserve some sort of hug, 90% of the time they're likely my most favorite character.

-> A troubled person trying to get by in college. Currently seeking therapy and found support with many lovely individuals (my friends!) and making some form of progress to fix myself. My primary form of coping is drawing and making stories where the characters fight similar struggles as mine (They are essentially my Earthbound Flying Men). This is one of the reasons why I make a lot of art and draw fast- It is not to chug out content- I just draw fast and a lot. Well... I used to draw fast, but with the advice of many, I'm taking it easy.

-> I also like to play video games and listen to music repeatedly until I get bored to help cheer me up. I do not want to go into detail about my trauma and its details and progression shouldn't be everyone's priority to know. I'm here in the internet to have fun and maybe earn incentives along the way, and whenever I get tired, I dock out until I feel better.

-> I'm not looking for attention, especially those that spout negativity. Let me know of anything that concerns you and don't be afraid to be honest. I don't want to hurt people, but I will bite if prompted or cornered. I apologize if my episodes do leak out and cause worries, and I apologize that I may go on manic, narcissistic and overzealous tangents at times. It may be hard to control my emotions, but it doesn't excuse it.

-> Most things I say are gender neutral and loose. Don't take everything too seriously. Sometimes my distinctions in art and portrayals are not clear to people so please browse with an open mind. I also might not know certain subjects for cultural and personal reasons, so if you wish to educate me on some manners, please do- I never mean anything malicious in my work. Feel free to request tags.

-> Everyone has the right to share and use my art anywhere as long as I am credited. (there are some exceptions to this such as using them for monetary purposes or using them for malicious intent)

-> For anyone who is willing to be patient, kind, and understanding of me, thank you. You make my journey less scary. I hope it isn't weird to say "I love you" platonically, and to a stranger nonetheless! I think, even on brief times, everyone deserves a form of appreciation, especially for taking the time to read all of this, haha. I have done a lot of mistakes in the past, and people who are mature and understanding of the such are to be treasured. I truly believe it is important to know that everyone here is only human, who all went through different experiences and learning journeys, and you are only human too.

🌈Links -> Commissions CLOSED -> Support me (Ko-fi) -> Support me (Patreon) -> ✨Patreon Supporters List✨ -> Linktree -> Carrd

🌈Content Resources -> Rain World Shipping Name Masterlist (semi-outdated) -> Rain World Art Archives -> Rain World Emotes F2U -> My First Artihunter Comic -> Rain World Anthro AU Series -> Follower Contract (funny)

~Common Blog Tags and their meanings~

#my art - A majority of art I made use this tag.

#gift - Stuff made for me and sometimes for other people. Sometimes the gift comes from the creation of it, so some posts can have that too if I find that criteria.

#my anthro au, #anthro au - My Rain World Anthro AU uses these tags. The former is the new one that specifies my au in particular. The older tag is mixed in with other anthro aus people have.

#oc - Occasional posts containing my very original stuff.

#thoughts - Posts that have my random rambles. Somewhat unimportant but my mind works like that. However, since my second personal blog, these posts will be less frequent.

#rw shipping, #shipping - As most of you know, I am a shipper and I actively participate in doing it. My blog is filled with shipping content and I'm very vocal about #artihunter . This is not the only thing I do though, but if you do not wish to see it, I would tag such posts as this so people can filter them. Please lmk if I forget to tag.

#vent - This and the self harm tags used to be prevalent in this blog. I realized that these are things that shouldn't be revealed so publicly, and in front of the potentially vulnerable. This MIGHT come in rarely, but I'm hoping that not anymore from here on out. I'm sorry to those who witnessed such tags.

Occasionally, this blog may tackle sensitive and more mature topics (which would be tagged as such). This does not mean this blog is completely full of that. If you have any issue with them or if you wish for me to tag them, please let me know!

Out of everything, thank you for supporting my content and acknowledging my humanity, sincerely.

I have more to say. If you are willing to hear it.

[bad-and-drawn-that-way]

Electric Love - Full Chapters

Want early chapters? Read on Ao3!

Chapter 2: Pleasantly Surprised

Notes: Support me by reading on Ao3! Kudos and comments help motivate me to see multi-chapter fics through to the end! I'll be posting announcements for the updates here. Chapters will come out on Ao3 BEFORE tumblr.

Word Count: 6863

"You want to make a deal," Vox realized, the corners of his mouth curling up slightly, and dead pixels flickered to life under his lip. This just got so much more interesting for him.

You lean back and cross a leg over your thigh. "Exactly. But I’ll have you know Mr. Big Evil Overlord, I’m nothing if not ambitious. If you think I’ll hand over something like this for just my life, then you won’t be getting shit."

“And remind me why I shouldn’t just kill you before you have the chance to blab?” Vox smirked as his eyes flickered over you like a shark considering its prey.

“Because you have no way of knowing if I’ve uploaded the information somewhere,” you grin back. “You don’t know if I’ve told anyone. You don’t know if I’ve written it down. You’d have no guarantee someone else wouldn’t find the clues I’ve left behind.”

“You’re not a total idiot,” Vox chuckled. “What is it you want then?”

“How about this,” you start slowly. What you wanted was something you doubted Vox would be willing to get involved with. Still, you had a golden opportunity in front of you and you’d be a fool to not at least try. 

“I know you snooped through my computer, so you already know I have quite a few friends in Valentino’s studio,” you sigh. “Not all of them are exactly pleased with their contracts, so here’s the deal. I’ll tell you how I resisted your magic if you promise to make Valentino terminate their contracts.”

“That’s it?” Vox grumbled as he thought it over. You weren’t expecting the easy grin as he shrugged. “We’re definitely talking over the details, but that’s simple enough.”

You blink, surprised at how ready he was to throw his companion under the bus for his own gain.

"You'd fuck over your closest friend, lover, fuck-buddy, business bitch for this?" You say, unsure of what to call Valentino. There were a lot of rumors about the ever-shifting relationship between Vox and Valentino.

"Without a second thought." Vox grinned, not showing any kind of remorse or hesitation in his voice. "A few of Valentino's fuck toys in exchange for knowing what can repel my hypnosis? It's a no-brainer."

"That's fucked up," you blink slowly. "But from a business perspective, I guess I can understand that." You hum as you think it over.

"Hm..." Vox nodded, thinking about the deal you were offering. "And the reason you want Valentino's contract on those souls to be released… It’s only because they’re your friends?”

"Yup," you sigh as you look down at the floor. "Not all of the friends I have in that circle want their contracts canceled. I can't say I understand, but that's their choice. However, some are desperate for a fresh start. I'm willing to do anything for them to have that."

"Why do you care so much about the well-being of other sinners?" Vox asked, looking at you with raised eyebrows.

You quirk an eyebrow back at him. "Why not?"

"So, you're just helping them out of the kindness of your heart?” Vox asked in disbelief. “No other external motives or personal gains at all?"

Your face scrunches up, "More or less, but I don't like it being phrased like that. Makes it seem… I don’t know. Just don’t dwell on it. It’s what any non-jackass would do."

"And you think you're a non-jackass?" Vox said with a sneering smirk. He didn't believe that you were helping those other sinners for nothing more than just the kindness in your heart. This was Hell. No one did that.

"I try," you snort as he shoots your phrasing back at you. "There are enough people in Hell doing their best to be the biggest asshole. With what little energy I have, I'd rather just focus on my passions and be nice to the people around me. It's a lot less tiring to be a decent person than a jerk."

Vox said, raising a skeptical eyebrow. "That sounds fishy as fuck. You have to realize that. For all I know, you could be deceiving me right now with that sweet facade of yours."

"Do you really care what kind of person I am?" You sigh, growing uncomfortable with an overlord like him putting your personality under a microscope. "Regardless of my personal preferences, I have something you want, and you have the power to give me something I want. Plus, if I was trying to fuck you over, I wouldn't have let you go through my computer,” you add for extra measure.

"That's true," Vox said, nodding his head slightly in acknowledgment. "But I still refuse to believe that a sinner like you is only doing this out of the goodness of your heart. You must be getting something else out of it. What is it?"

You huff, getting frustrated. "I don't know what you want me to say, man. I just don't like seeing my friends suffer. Why is that such a hard pill for you to swallow?"

"Because it doesn’t make sense," Vox said his eye twitching in irritation that mirrored your own as he tried to figure out what you were planning. He didn’t like the idea of making a deal when he felt he didn’t have the full picture.

"Are you seriously telling me you wouldn't do the same for your friends?” You ask, finding yourself questioning his character just as much as he was questioning yours. “The other Vees?”

"Hmm..." Vox said, raising a hand to his chin and rubbing it back and forth as he took a moment to consider your words. He was standing here seriously considering screwing over Valentino. But he knew that the deal he was considering wasn’t of any real consequence to the other overlord. Vox had a hard time imagining what it would be like to have a mindset like the one you had. It was stupid on a fundamental level in his opinion, but he could see your point.

"Actually..." Vox said, finally replying to your question. "I suppose I would."

"Fucking hell," you say as you slump against your seat. "Finally."

"But..." Vox said, a smirk slowly returning to his face. He was on the cusp of believing you, but he wanted to see what would happen if he pushed your buttons just a little more. He’d be lying if he didn’t find a tinge of amusement at your frustration. "There is still this one, small, tiny, insignificant little detail that you're keeping to yourself... What is it?"

You groan as you resist the urge to grab Vox’s stupid bow tie and strangle him. "Oh my gooood, dude! I'm not like you! I'm not some big conniving evil mastermind! I'm a broke bitch who's living off of ramen noodles and discount veggies, who likes the people she gets high with on the weekend, and would like to not see them suffer. It's not rocket science!"

Vox's head tilted slightly forward, not bothering to hide his smirk as he got closer. "But to go so far as to develop an anti-aphrodisiac out of kindness? That's a whole new level of cotton candy bullshit. The only other person like that in Hell is Lucifer’s little bitch and unlike her, you ended up in Hell for a reason.”

"I'm going to kick your ass if you don't drop this," you sigh as you drag a hand down your tired face. "Do you want to make the deal or not?"

Vox smirked at how easy it was to work you up. Deciding not to push any harder before he had you locked under contract, he finally relented. "Alright. I won’t kill you for everything you’ve shown me today. I will convince Valentino to cancel the contracts that you ask me to, but only if you reveal to me how one may repel or counteract my hypnosis and agree to never tell another soul what you know."

You let out a deep breath. "Finally, fucking Christ."

Your eyes glow as you activate your magic. Stars and purple mist appear around you as you reach out your hand. Like any other sinner, your magic reacted to the binding contracts that made hell function. Anyone could make a deal, and the magic made it so you couldn't back out. No one could be trusted, and it was the only way to guarantee someone wouldn’t go back on their word.

You hold your hand out for him to shake. Once he did, the deal would be sealed, and you'd both have to hold up your end of the bargain.

“One last thing,” Vox adds as he recalls the pictures he’d seen on your computer. “I may be able to convince Val to drop most of the deals, but there’s no way he’ll relent his hold over Angel Dust.”

You frown, your hand flinching back as you think it over. As much as it pained you, Vox had a point. Angel Dust was different from anyone else under Valentino’s control. You had hoped Vox wouldn’t have come to the same conclusion you had before making the deal, but he wasn’t an overlord for nothing.

Vox waited a moment to see if you’d back out. When you let out a deep sigh and looked up at him, extending your hand again, he smirked. You were both one of the dumbest and smartest lower-class sinners he’d run into. It was refreshing and made him all the more curious about the accidental discovery. 

He took your hand and shook it, and his bright electricity lit up the room as the binding magics of Hell seeped into your minds and bodies. You were now both bound by soul to honor the contract. Vox didn't let go of your hand, though, as his intense stare continued to penetrate your eyes. “Now then…”

A weight feels like it’s been lifted off of your chest now that you know you’re safe and you managed to help at least some of the people you cared about. You smirk at Vox, not bothering to try and pull away. "Unlike with Valentino, your ability doesn't need magic to repel. Try using it on me right now."

"As you wish," Vox said, glaring into your eyes once again as he tried to use his hypnosis on you. Even though he already expected it, the fact that it didn't work still unnerved him. He didn’t like the idea of Hell being able to slip out of his grasp. He was already paranoid enough as is with the return of Alastor. 

There was a brief flicker of control, proving once again that you weren’t immune. However, it disappeared in an instant and your eyes didn't change to red and black spirals like the usual victim of his power. Instead, your hand tightened on his and your smirk grew as you proved your point.

"Interesting..." Vox said, staring at you with a mixture of skepticism and admiration. True to your word, he sensed no flare-up of your abilities or anything of the sort. “Now tell me how you do that.”

You let go of his hand and pull out your phone. You don't say anything to him, leaving him in suspense as you scroll through your pictures. Vox’s anxious energy only grows as he waits for you to show him what you’re looking for.

He’s not expecting the quiet chuckle when you find it, nor is he expecting to see the image in front of him as you turn your phone for him to look at. It's a picture of Vox from many many years ago. An old photo of him when he was still new to Hell and a completely different person. His TV head was an older model and instead of holding himself with sinister confidence, he was timid, frail, and honestly? Extremely dorky.

"I- h-how did you find this photo…?" Vox said, his facial expression softening slightly as you showed him the photo. He wasn’t expecting the flood of conflicting emotions. Embarrassment, rage, and…  a tinge of nostalgia.

"I stumbled across it on a forum when I was studying overlords," you say, before blinking and quickly correcting yourself. “Not the ones for Eternal. This was just some normal history of hell thread on a public domain.”

You took back your phone from him and smirked as you pocketed the device. "You crazy fuckers are great inspiration for character design. The outfits, the abilities, the psycho agendas. All of it is fantastic for creative inspiration.”

You lean back to sit on your desk as you shrug. "Once I saw that picture, I realized that you used to be just like anyone else regardless of who you are now. Confused and scared. After that, the hypnosis hidden in your products and media stopped working on me. It's not that I was scared of you before, it's just now I don't think I could be without reason.”

Vox stared at you with a look of mild shock and disbelief. This was the first time in decades that someone had acknowledged the fact that he was once a normal human being on Earth. A person who was lost and scared and wanted nothing more than to find their place in the world. The nostalgia he felt from seeing himself in that photo brought back a flood of emotions he quickly tried to stomp down before you noticed.

"Valentino's abilities are based on a chemical reaction, while yours is based on psychological origins. There's no magic counterpart to your abilities,” you say as you deliberately ignore the flash of emotion on his face. It wasn’t your place to push. “It just depends on the mindset of who you're using it on. That's probably why if you were to try using it on Alastor or another overlord, it wouldn’t work either."

"This whole time, it’s been something so… simple?" Vox thought about it for a minute. He felt a spike of panic as he thought about how easily Hell could simply stop falling under his spell if Alastor made a fool of him again. “Then… what’s stopping a̸l̶l̶ ̵o̶f̴ ̸H̶e̵l̶l̵ from realizing..? F̴̡̉ṷ̶͊c̶̲̀k̸̠͗!̸̤͆”

You flinch as Vox starts to short-circuit. The way his body jerked and his voice glitched out, it looked painful. That being said, if anyone asked, you’d deny it as much as you could that the change in his voice didn’t make you feel a certain way though.

"You pull them in with charisma, instant media serotonin, and promises of things that will benefit them,” you find yourself reassuring the overlord before he has a panic attack in your tiny office. “They want to look. They want to listen. They want to be convinced."

You give your best smile and do little jazz hands at him dryly, "In short, capitalism, bitch."

Vox barks out a harsh laugh, glitching again before his systems seem to calm down slowly. You had a point. Even if people one day stopped fearing him, Vox had what people wanted. He had the confidence, he had the charm, he had the products. He had power. 

"So, if I'm to understand you correctly…” he stated slowly as he tried to talk himself down from losing it in front of a stranger. “The reason why my hypnosis doesn't work on you is because you don’t fear me outside of circumstance and you don’t want anything from me aside from something that isn’t actually for you. So what? You’re a sinner who doesn't care about material possessions? You just do your own thing and don't care about anything else? That’s it?"

"Mm, I wouldn't say that entirely," you hum as you cross your arms. "There are plenty of things I want. I'm still just a person like anyone else. It's just that since I understand the motives and origin of the source pulling the strings, I can just… walk around them."

"Interesting... very interesting..." Vox mumbled, thinking over this. It was a completely new mindset that he had never even considered before. His hypnosis relies upon the desire for material possession and a sense of power at the expense of others. But you somehow managed to counter his hypnosis through willpower alone. 

He wondered just how far that mentality could be pushed. "So, when you say there are things that you want..."

You quirked an eyebrow at him, feeling a shift in his demeanor that made you feel somewhat uneasy. "Yeah…?”

"I'm just curious,” Vox grinned as he changed his approach and closed the distance between the two of you. He looked down at you like he was once again trying to solve a puzzle, only this one seemed far more… entertaining to him. “What exactly do you want?”

"Why do you want to know?" You ask, shifting back to give yourself space, only to realize he once again has you trapped.

"Because you seem to have a different mentality than the usual sinner here in the hierarchy of Hell. While it’s a unique perspective, I doubt you’re the only one who has it. As you mentioned before, there’s a good chance my hypnosis could be resisted by other overlords as well,” Vox explained easily as he noticed your discomfort with a sinister grin.

“Can you blame me for wanting to find out just how far that mindset can take you before you fall under my spell like anyone else?” Vox smirked as he watched you squirm uncomfortably.

You will the flush on your face to kindly fuck off as you look away from him. It was obvious he was just interested in seeing what it would take to regain power over anyone who managed to dodge the influence of his magic. You thought that there would never be a consequence to the countless nights you stayed up late reading fanfiction filled with romantic tension, but the habit was now biting you in the ass as your mind filled with scenarios the overlord was definitely not implying. 

 "That's a fair enough question then, I suppose,” you mutter as you push on his chest to get some space. 

Vox relents and backs up, giving you the illusion of control for the time being. It was easier to pry information out of you that way. You move from the desk to the couch he was on earlier and grab a pillow. The two of you had been talking longer than you expected, and you wanted to get comfortable. You sit criss-cross, holding the pillow in your lap.

"Well,I guess I want the same things a lot of people want… I think. I want to get better at the things I do. I want to be prettier. I want to fall in love one day, but with how fucked up everyone is here, I'm not holding my breath there,” you chuckle dryly.

“Uhhh, I like plushies, but I don't need any more of those..." you hum as your mind wanders on how else you can answer his question. You personally didn’t think any of this could help him in his endeavors, but he had asked.

"You want to fall in love?" Vox said, raising a brow curiously at you as he sat across from you. He had never expected any sinners in hell to say they wanted to fall in love so openly. It was so... "pure" so to speak. Vox thought about what you said and asked, "What's stopping you, exactly?"

You snort, "Experience."

You laugh about it, but it's hollow. "I don't live up to the standards media portrays. I'm not skinny, I'm loud, and I have boundaries. Name one person in Hell who would be into that. I'm like the pet a kid gets and likes for a month and then sends back to the pound 'cause they got bored."

"I see..." Vox said as he thought the answer over. It was true that you were the furthest thing he was used to seeing in media or on the streets. A lot of sinners came in all sorts of shapes and sizes, yet a lot of them were thinner than twigs. He hadn’t given it much thought before, but you did stick out a bit more than you would have on Earth where body types were more varied.

Your answer made a lot of sense, but it still made something inside of him shift uncomfortably. Media and social media often paint a distorted image of what is considered 'beautiful' that leaves people's self-esteem in tatters. Normally, his business thrived off of the low self-esteem of sinners and he never had to face what that emotion felt like. After all, he had it all. Money, looks, power. So to sit face to face with the reality of those schemes left a sour taste in his mouth.

"And what about your personality?” Vox found himself asking before he realized. A part of him felt shocked that he’d bothered to pursue the subject, but he couldn’t help his curiosity. “Surely your sugary disposition has attracted people in the past, right?” 

Your face scrunches. "Attracts them, sometimes sure, I guess..." You look to the side, trying to keep your energy nonchalant and starting to fail. "But that's never been enough for anyone."

You sigh, shaking your head. "Any other weirdly intrusive questions, or do you have dissected my morals to your satisfaction?"

"Hmm..." Vox said, his eyes narrowing as he continued to study you with curiosity. There was a certain sadness to the way you described yourself. Clearly, you'd been through a lot of heartbreak and rejection over the years. But he had to know more. So he asked, "How have you managed to sustain your cheery nature after all the rejections you've faced?"

"I'd go fucking insane if I didn't," you chuckle. "And besides, it's not all bad. I can focus on learning new things and work on projects when I don't let other people fuck with my emotions."

Vox chuckled, your candid answer eliciting a laugh from him. "So, you use the rejection as motivation for your work, huh? That’s… something I can respect."

"Everything is shit enough as is," you say tiredly. "I'm tired of being miserable, so I just do what I can to be less so. It doesn't solve everything, but it helps."

"Well, I must say, that's quite admirable,” Vox smirked as he used some of his standard ego-stroking techniques on you. He saw potential uses for your skills in the future and wanted to get on your good side now that the two of you had struck a deal. “Your ability to remain upbeat and optimistic even after all that you've been through... I'm very impressed. It takes a lot of willpower and strength to do that, something that most demons here in Hell rarely have. It is a very admirable quality to possess."

You cringe slightly at the praise. Even if Vox was saying it in a business-like matter of fact, it was something that you just couldn't accept. It felt fake as fuck and made you uncomfortable. Granted, even if it had felt genuine, you still would have struggled to accept any praise.

"You're mocking me," you huff.

"Hmm... I suppose it may come off that way." Vox grinned. “Ah’” he thought to himself. “Laid it on too thick. Interesting though…”  He enjoyed teasing you because you got so frustrated by it. "It's not my intention."

You roll your eyes, completely unconvinced. "Uh-huh."

You smirk, leaning down to rest your cheek on your hand. Despite everything that had happened, you found yourself starting to enjoy talking with Vox. It felt weirdly refreshing and kept you on your toes. "What about you? What do you want, Mr. Big and Powerful Media Man?"

"Oh, well, I suppose there are a couple of things I would like to have," Vox said, rubbing his chin as he thought. His voice had regained an air of confidence as he talked about himself. "To finally kick Alastor’s ass once and for all, for starters. That prick showing his face again really fucks up my main goal of becoming the top overlord in Hell."

Vox leaned back as he followed the trail of thought. “Although he’s not the only one. To rise to the top, I’d have to surpass Carmilla, Zestial, the giant fucking dino lady, hell, even Valentino.”

"Wait, wait, wait," you say as you sit up. "Valentino? Isn't he like, your closest ally?"

"Oh, he is," Vox said as he grinned in a way that made his teeth seem sharper and almost inhuman. "But he’s a resource who constantly threatens the ability to outshine me as well. It’s a… fine line. It’s not like I need to destroy him like several of the others, but he could stand to be knocked down a peg or two once I’ve gotten what I need from him.”

Vox truly looked the part of a villain as he shrugged like he wasn’t talking about someone he was so close to. “Once I do, I will be the top overlord in Hell! No more media competition... no more Alastor stealing the spotlight from me. The top media overlord role will be mine alone."

"Damn, that's cold," you chuckle. "Not my flavor of a lifestyle, but weirdly enough, I'm rooting for you.”

“Really now?” Vox smirked as he quirked an eyebrow at the unexpected response. 

“If it means Valentino gets kicked in the back of his knees along the way, I guess I can support the big backstabbing game just this once,” you shrug. While it may not have been the main part of Vox’s big schemes, you were a fan of anything that bit the shitty mothman in the ass.

"Fair enough," Vox smirked. Despite how sappy you were, Vox found a twisted delight in seeing how his business partner brought out a darker side in you. He wondered what kind of person you could be if he corrupted you over time. His sharp teeth flashed in the light as he started singing to the anti-Valentino tune you wore plainly on your sleeve. 

"I think many in Hell would agree that Valentino has made their existence in Hell far worse than it needs to be,” Vox says, looking to the side as if he were remorseful. “I’ve turned a blind eye to it for a long time… Perhaps too long. I care about him a lot… but I won’t let him stand in the way of what I want."

"Don't you guys like, date on and off, though?” You ask as you shift and look over Vox quizzically. “You don't love him?"

"Oh no, definitely not,” Vox said with a bitter laugh. He wasn’t acting with that response. For as much as he and Valentino went back and forth, it had been made clear how loveless whatever it was they had was, even if he had hoped for more once upon a time.

“We have a… mutually beneficial work partnership, that's all," Vox said, trying to hide the awkwardness that came with that statement. "A romantic relationship would do me no good because ultimately it requires me to be more emotionally vulnerable,” he stated as he tried to make it seem like things were the way they were by his choice and his choice only. “And as you've discovered, I'm not the type of person to be very vulnerable."

"Ah, just fuck buddies then," you nod. "Fair enough."

"Hm, yeah, that would be a fair assessment," Vox said, shrugging his shoulders as if he didn't actually care. "It's more of a physical than emotional relationship anyway. I don't love him or anything like that."

"Fair," you say. "I can get wanting his power, but if you ended up taking him down completely, what would you do with the porn industry?"

“Who said that I’d take him down that far?” Vox frowned. He didn’t like that there was something to be considered there. He hadn’t dared to imagine what his afterlife would be like without both Vees by his side, but he had to admit, you were bringing up an interesting line of thought.

You shrug, “Humor me. I’ve listened to your crazy ideas about Hell domination. Just… consider it food for thought.” 

Vox clicked his tongue, uncomfortable with the thought and yet also somewhat intrigued. Without Valentino in the picture, he’d have control over a very large corner of the media industry. Ultimately he did crave power over all of Hell, but he’d never considered that as a possibility until now.

You look him up and down as he gets lost in his own mind. "Although,  now that I think about it… Hm… Don't get me wrong, you've got the whole sexy and evil thing down well, but you don't strike me as someone who'd be comfortable running that area of things, huh?"

"Well, that's the thing,” Vox mutters as he runs a hand over his screen. “In the hypothetical, it's not just his power and influence that I'd want. It's his industry and his influence over the masses. If I were to ever take over the media industry, I wouldn't leave the porn industry as is. I'd transform it into something much better and much more powerful than Valentino's industry. He simply lacks the vision for what the industry CAN be. And I could show everyone that stronger vision."

"And what vision is that?" You ask with a tilt of your head.

"A vision of technology and media that has the masses drooling for the products and services that we provide. A vision in which we truly have total control over the sinner population here in Hell and the population back on Earth.” Vox started, slowly getting invested in the hypothetical.

“I would expand the industries far beyond Valentino's limits, to the point where all other media and technology companies would be left behind in Hell's dust,” He said with a manic grin. He could feel the dead pixels under his lip as if it were blood dripping from his mouth. 

“I could make it so that everything in our industries is tailored to the needs and wants of the masses. All of it. Every person would seek us for entertainment, information, and technology, and we would give them just what they need."

"And what happens then?" You say, realizing you’d triggered his evil mastermind brain cell. It was both fascinating and somewhat terrifying.

"Then...?” Vox blinks slowly as he comes down from the power high. “You mean what happens after I take complete control over the media industry?"

"Yeah," you shrug. "You turn everyone into a mindless consumer, but then what? If there's no one left to beat, no one left to control because everyone is already under your control. Well, would that make you happy?"

"It would make me very happy," Vox said, smiling at the thought of having complete control over everyone both here in hell and back on Earth. "In fact, I would consider that as 'game set match.' Because once I have that level of influence over the masses, nobody can possibly hope to compete with me. I would be the one and only media overlord, and everyone would love me for it."

"Mm," you hum as you flip the pillow in your arms for stimulation. "You may have lost me there. I feel like if you controlled everything, then there'd be no room for new ideas. I feel like you'd get bored."

"Well, that's where you're wrong." Vox scoffed. "Even with complete control and domination, the media industry will continue to evolve and change. After all, new technologies will emerge and new trends will crop up as time goes on. With complete control over the media industry, it is I who would have the final say on such changes and innovations. There will always be new ideas to keep the industry fresh and new, but the underlying system will remain the same. The system of control and dominance over the minds of the masses."

"Huh," you say. "I don't really get it, but if it's what you're passionate about and it takes down the guy who hurts people I care about, then I'm not one to complain. It will kinda be weird being like one of the only people not brainwashed by your tech though."

"It's fine, you don't have to understand it," Vox chuckled. "And by then I will have ironed out this little inconvenience regarding the ability to resist my control, so you’ll be just as swept up by the ordeal as all the other idiots.”

"Well, before all of that, you have a deal to uphold," you remind him, with a smirk.

"Ah yes... the deal. I forgot about that," Vox chuckled. "I've gotten so caught up in my own world that I almost completely forgot that you managed to beat me in round one our little mind game."

You snort, "Had a feeling." You get off the couch, cross the room, and lean over him to grab a pen and start writing a list of names in your notebook.

Vox watched you and thought over the conversation as you worked. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had entertained his fantasies like that. Even if you didn’t fully agree or understand, you let him ramble and you even dared to suggest something like betraying Valentino in full. He couldn’t remember the last time someone other than Velvette had been bold enough to talk to him about something that could contradict or upset him. It was refreshing how you were both keenly aware of the danger he was and yet also… saw past that.

You look over the list twice before nodding with satisfaction and ripping the page out. You stand up and hold out the paper to him. "These are the souls you'll need to make Valentino release his contract with. Make sure no harm or repercussions come to them after the fact as well. Don't be sloppy or I’ll kick your ass."

"Of course, of course," Vox smirked, taking the paper from you and looking over the names. “Although, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t genuinely interested in seeing you try.”

He pocketed the list and hummed as he stood from the couch and looked around. The risk you’d put yourself at today with him, the vials, the deal. “You really hate Valentino, don’t you?”

"Of course I do," you cross your arms. "He's abused the people I care for countless times. Why do you think I made the repellent?"

"Well, I suppose that would be a pretty justifiable reason," Vox said, nodding. "So then... this is a personal vendetta for you.”

"Completely," you nod. "I don't give a shit about the political power struggle in Hell. As far as I'm concerned, you're all just as bad as each other. There's no point in me getting too invested. I just want my friends safe from his control over them."

"I can respect a person with strong convictions," Vox said, a slight frown appearing on his face as he considered your words. "Although I do mourn your lack of desire to get more involved. It serves me well enough, but if you ever wanted to play the game…"

You sigh as you wave away his words, "Yes, yes, I've been a great tool for you. I'm helping one evil to take out another. Yeah, yeah, just don’t get used to it.”

"I appreciate the help, is all," Vox smirked as he approached you and lifted your chin with a single claw. "But tell me... is it truly so bad? I mean, you're helping to make Hell a better place. If I can lessen the damage Valentino has done along the way, then his manipulative, abusive reign over the masses will finally come to an end. Is that so awful?"

"Depending on what you do after, it could be," you mumble as you hug your arms to yourself and look away.

Vox raised an eyebrow. "You think that my plan for domination would be detrimental to Hell? That I would use my power to spread nothing but misery for my ego?"

You look up at him, with a smirk. "Your words, not mine."

"Touche," Vox muttered, with a small smile. "I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I said that that's not my intention after acquiring complete power and control."

You step up to him and straighten his pin-striped suit jacket. He'd fashioned himself to be the ultimate image of control and power and yet his suit had wrinkles from laying on your couch. "I have never once heard of a person hungry for power and control with good intentions."

"Hmm, I suppose that's fair." Vox grinned as you absentmindedly tended to his appearance. "Still, I believe that the people of Hell would be better off if I were the one in charge. I am far more capable than the other overlords, and I could ensure that Hell operates the way it should. The media industry would thrive under my rule, I would be able to improve the lifestyles of the sinners in a way that no other overlord has even attempted to do. It's all for the greater good."

You shake your head, the smile you give him unreadable. "Then I hope that works for the best. Truly. I'm sure I'll see how it plays out one day, we all will. After all, you do love to put on a show."

"Yes, I do love my dramatic flair," Vox said, smiling faintly as if enjoying a mental image. "And it seems you're quite a bit of a drama queen as well. You do love being mysterious and difficult to read, don't you?"

You snort, shaking your head. "I consider myself an open book, actually. You just spend so much time with other big politicians and villains that you forgot what a normal person is like."

"Hmm, perhaps," Vox said, a smirk coming across his face. "But I must admit, you are certainly a different type of person compared to the other sinners I've met. You are far more unique than I initially thought."

You giggle, giving a silly little bow. "What an honor to be one of the few the future ‘Great Big Overlord of Hell’ will remember. It's ironic, all things considered."

"Oh? And what's ironic about that?" Vox grinned, tilting his head curiously as he felt himself being pulled in by your energy. He never knew what to expect and he found himself realizing just how much fun he was having, despite everything.

You smirk up at him, leaning up on your toes. "Because for all of this, you don't even know my name." You say quietly with a playful smirk.

"Well, aren't you just a cheeky little thing?” Vox chuckled as you stepped back. He watched you as you smiled like you’d just won another match in the game the two of you had been playing.

“Fine, I'll admit you got me... I don't do the whole getting to know people before I try to manipulate them thing,” Vox shrugged before grinning at you with a spark in his eye. “Are you going to tell me or do I have to beg for that little bit of information?”

You quirk an eyebrow at him, meeting his playful remark with one of your own. “Are you saying you would? Because I’m sure there are plenty who’d pay good money to see you on your knees.”

Vox laughed, while you internally screamed and did your best to play cool. Did you seriously just flirt with the egotistical maniac who broke into your home? Seriously?! God, you needed therapy. Or alcohol. Or both.

“You really are something,” Vox snickered. He’d never been so happy to have his expectations proven wrong before. This entire exchange had left him feeling more alive than he’d felt in years.

Your eyes widened as he took your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Whether he was making fun of you, lying with his usual business bullshit, or something else, you had no way of knowing as he looked up at you with a downright devilish grin.

“As much as I hate to cut this exchange short, I believe I have a list to get started on.”

Your brain is too busy buffering at the unexpected action as he stands tall and straightens his suit jacket with a satisfied grin. That was a point for him in your little game that he took pride in.

“Until next time, Y/N,” Vox smirked as he used your computer screen to teleport out of the office and leave you standing there dumbfounded and with a blush dusted on your cheeks.

It took a solid minute before you snapped out of it at the realization he’d used your name. You smacked your forehead and groaned as you realized he’d been on your computer, which meant that he’d seen that your name was on the main user account for your PC. He knew the whole time.

“Fucking damn it,” you whined with embarrassment. 

[spadesolace]

the game: college student! hanni x fem! reader

you never understood how hanni’s mind works. one day she’s clinging to you like a koala and telling you how much she loves you then the next, you’re non-existent. does she like you or is she playing some type of trick?

WARNINGS: internalized homophobia, disloyalty, confusing

maybe you did mess up.

Pham Hanni was this other classmate of yours in your majors and she immediately caught your attention when your friend, Minji, introduced you to her. you had to admit, she’s really pretty but you never really acted upon it, she was just that girl that’s way out of your league. slowly, you became close. probably because you two hanged out alone without minji and clicked, it was a bit concerning how all you had to do was to be left alone with her.

that’s where it all started, the way she would look at you with admiration and adoration, kissing you on the cheek if she got the lesson you were teaching her, and overall the way she would hold your hand under your desk. the thing was that she always did it in private. everything she did, confused you. these feelings that you have for her, you knew you had to stop it, feelings weren’t supposed to be there. 

one day, she’s clinging to you as if her life depended on it and the following day with your friends, it’s as if you didn’t go on a date the night before. confronting her leads to arguments that you never seem to get the grasp of, all you wanted was some clarity but she left you with clues that led to nowhere or false hope.

“all i”m asking Hanni, is what are we?”

“dating, we’re dating! do you not grasp that i’m only seeing you?!”

“do you not understand the fact you’re hiding me!”

the benefit of the doubt was there, maybe she wasn’t ready to be out, maybe she’s not yet ready to be in a committed relationship. yet these arguments always led to screaming at each other, ignoring each other until one of you breaks which is always you. she knows how to reel you back in, its like clockwork. you fight, ignore each other, she makes you jealous, and then you’re back in her arms telling each other how much you love her.

you’ve finally reached your limit once you saw hanni with someone else, kissing in public, holding their hands, and ignoring you as if you never existed at all. it hits different if your competition was a guy that clearly wasn't afraid to show off. this time, it wasn’t you running back to her, you’ve had enough. if she was scared to be out, why would she date you in the first place? all you did was give your all to her and the least she could do was stay loyal.

“YN! Baby! Look at me!” Hanni held your face, forcing you to look at her. slowly, you removed her hands, still holding onto them as you finally speak to her after a month.

“Hanni… just stop.”

“Hanni??? you rarely call me that.” you see it, from your peripheral vision, there he was, the guy she kissed, letting go of the bouquet he probably bought for Hanni and ran away. maybe you did mess up, maybe ending things with Hanni isn’t worth it. were you willing to sacrifice your sanity only to see this happening again in the future? she wasn’t ready, clearly. letting go of her hands, you looked at her, tears flowing from her beautiful face, wanting to hold you close.

“I love you, YN. please just listen to me. let me explain.”

“i love you too but i’m tired, Hanni. whatever this is. i’m done.”

that was the last time you talked to hanni. you never really understood what was happening inside her mind. all you knew was that she did mean it when she screamed at you while walking away from her from the very spot you shared your first kiss. she loved you, but not enough to fight for you.

[kurogane2512]

HELLO IM BACK FROM MY BREAK ITS ONE OF ALICE’S ANONS (in all honesty i forgot which emoji i was) ANYWAYS

i would like to request

cocolia (hsr) x reader (obviously fem) <3 angst to smut :) i give u free reign <3

NO ONE WRITES FOR HER AND IT MAKES ME SAD i just finished the trailblazer mission, I MISS HER

Hello, welcome back anon! Good to see you again <3

You have no idea how much I relate with you; truth be told that her death and unplayability is one of the main reasons I'm not playing the game (others are I don't like turn based plus I have way too many gacha games in my mantel).

I had found out what happens in beta itself and decided to save myself the pain and suffering, it feels like they repeated Signora's case. Mihoyo has something against blonde ice mommies I'm sure. Your request came at a perfect time since I was really craving to write something on her!

(18+) CONTENT MINDORS DNI

Game: Honkai Star Rail

Characters: HSR Cocolia x fem! reader (trailblazer)

Type: Smut and Angst (comfort sex, fingering, oral, scissoring, kissing, Cocolia doesn't die because we protect fine women like her <3

W.C: Uh....very long. This is pretty much a rewrite of the mission, please bear with me :(

The moment you laid your eyes on her, you were mesmerised. She appeared like a goddess, a queen— so regal, commanding, beautiful yet harbouring something....cold deep within. The moment your eyes met her violet ones, you felt a connection, an unknown feeling awakened inside you.

"Welcome, visitors from beyond the Eternal Freeze, or perhaps I should say from beyond the sky. I'm Cocolia Rand, the Supreme Guardian of Belobog. I would be grateful if you could tell me why you have come."

The enchanting woman in front of you spoke, her eyes gazing at you and your allies. You felt her look at you particularly, the same violet eyes staring deeply into you and making you entranced.

"Ahem, Y/n— answer her." March whispered to you, making you come back to your senses and blink a few times.

"Apologies, thank you for accepting us. It's surprising that you don't seem to doubt our identity."

"Hehe~ Do you want me to doubt it? Or are you not confident in it yourself? Rest assured, I don't doubt it. I can see you are not from this world and....for 700 hundred years, the Architects received no communication from the stars but I knew of your existence. Tell me why you have come."

Dan Heng took over from here and began explaining to her about the Stellaron and the Fragmentum Corrosion that plagued the planet, Cocolia listened intently and seemed slightly surprised that he summed up the planet's situation down to the exact details.

"I see....You understand our situation well but, I fail to understand why you would want to help us. Even if this Stellaron you speak of did bring about disaster, I fail to see its connection to you. I don't believe that anyone would go to such lengths to help a world unrelated to them....unless they had something to gain."

You then further explained to her and she eventually agreed to take your help, the negotiation went quite smoothly unlike your expectations but you were glad to see she seemingly trusted you.

"Very well, I'm willing to assist you in any way possible to locate the Stellaron. You must be tired now, I'll have you escorted to our most comfortable hotel to rest. Get a good night's sleep and we can discuss this matter in more detail tomorrow."

"Thank you for believing us, ma'am. We'd be glad to help restore the planet and help you live in prosperity like old times."

You spoke determinedly while looking at Cocolia, making her slightly surprised at your conviction. She gave a small smile and nodded then you turned around to go out with March and Dan Heng but suddenly heard an eerie whisper in your mind, making you stop and look back at Cocolia who was now looking out of the window and pondering.

"What was that? Why does it feel like there's someone with her, speaking to her....?"

You squinted your eyes then shook off the thought and walked out to meet up with Dan Heng and March. You were shown around the city by Gepard before finally being dropped at Goethe Hotel, you bid farewell to March and Dan Heng as they went to their respective rooms to sleep while you went to yours and rested on the bed, pondering about the day's happenings.

"It's been a long day. The Supreme Guardian was really something....so strong, commanding and....beautiful. Her voice was....really attractive too."

Your face turned redder as Cocolia continuously appeared in your mind; there was something about her that had captured your attention— the way she spoke, acted, smiled— everything was captivating you. You shook your head and turned over in bed, trying to keep your thoughts aside and sleep. You had barely closed your eyes when suddenly the same strange whispers echoed in your mind followed by a faint dream.

"Cocolia...Cocolia..." the whisper spoke.

"Wh-Who are you? What are you....?" Cocolia replied back.

"We are allies....allies of the guardians through generations."

"....What do you want?

"To rebuild....this dying world...To help you....achieve your wish."

You struggled around in bed and held onto a pillow, the dream becoming unbearable but it didn't stop yet.

"They will suffer, sacrifice and die because of my order...." Cocolia spoke.

"It is not death which greets them....They will be swept into the infancy of a new world." the whisper replied.

"What about the Underworlders? They will lose the protection of the Architects. They will see me....as a tyrant."

"You have witnessed....the world we have promised. A temporary misunderstanding....for an eternity of prosperity. We will honor....your decision."

"....I understand."

You immediately opened your eyes and sat up on the bed, gasping for breath loudly. You held your head and looked around to see it was still the middle of the night then thought back to what just happened.

"Those voices....Cocolia? And who? Who was she speaking to....? And why can I hear this....? Don't tell me....it was the Stellaron? It can't be....she didn't know what the Stellaron was. Unless....she was lying. Could the whisper I heard there be the same thing....? I need more clues....It seemed like she started talking to it at a young age, or more like it manipulated her from a young age...."

You looked at the time again then firmed your decision and stood up to walk out of the room, discreetly, without waking up March and Dan Heng. You navigated through the city to escape the gaze of the Silvermane Guards and reached the place where the Astral Express was parked.

"Himeko, Welt. I want to talk to both of you."

The two of them came out into the lounge area at your announcement, surprised to see you here all alone.

"Y/n? What happened? Why are you here alone?" Himeko questioned.

"I....I think I figured out something about the Stellaron on this planet. And I need your help, I didn't tell March and Dan Heng yet...."

"Fine, go ahead." Welt replied.

"We met the Supreme Guardian some hours ago and got her approval to let us remove the Stellaron. When I was there, I heard some....eerie whispers for a short moment and it also felt like there was someone else in the room with Cocolia but we couldn't see anything. Then later, when I tried to sleep....I had dreams. I'm not sure but it sounded like the Supreme Guardian was talking to a Stellaron."

Both Welt and Himeko were caught by surprise then pondered for a while before Himeko spoke, "Are you sure, Y/n? Did you also see something?"

"Yes, not very clearly but....it looked like her younger self, she seemed to be in pain and agony, trying to resist the voice but it kept showing her something that she couldn't refuse. It said something like....fulfilling her wish to save the planet by giving her a new world...."

"....I see. It's manipulating her by showing the world it'll make by destroying this current one, and little does she know that the Stellaron won't do anything it showed her....It's simply going to destroy everything and take over the world...." Welt spoke.

You nodded along and looked down in distress, trying to think what to do.

"I....I don't want anything bad to happen to her....Of course, I don't want the planet to suffer either but Cocolia herself too, she just wants to protect everyone and be a good Supreme Guardian and a mother...."

Himeko looked at you sympathetically then smiled softly and patted your head, "It seems we underestimated our newest member, Welt. She exceeded both Dan Heng and March already and is even showing considerable conviction~"

You blushed slightly at her compliment then Welt spoke, "So, do you have any suggestion, Y/n?"

"Uh....maybe we can try talking to her and persuading her before anything else happens. I think she started believing in the Stellaron because their own God didn't do anything for so long, the planet is still facing the Eternal Freeze and the Fragmentum Corrosion has even reached the city."

"Mhm, seems reasonable. Then Y/n, I assign you this mission— meet with the Supreme Guardian and persuade her will, with as little struggle as possible."

"W-Wait, me?! Just me?!" you exclaimed in shock.

"Yes, you. You have to do this, Y/n. You are the only the one who has seen and heard the dreams, you know it clearly unlike any of us. Not to mention, if she is already so persuaded by it then she'll likely show an aggressive nature when you reveal everything to her. If there are too many people then she might see it as an ambush."

"....Alright, I'll do my best."

You exited the train and made your way over the residence of the Supreme Guardian; naturally expecting to meet guards outside, you told them you wished to see Cocolia and they took her permission then escorted you to her chambers. Yes, it was her personal chamber and not the office you had been in earlier. You gently knocked on the door and heard a stern 'come in' then opened to go in and found Cocolia standing near the edge of the bed, wearing a sleeping gown and robe.

"My apologies for disturbing you at this hour, ma'am. I...wished to talk to you about something."

"Was it so important that you couldn't wait until our meeting tomorrow? And I see that your companions aren't here either...."

"Y-Yes, they don't know I'm here. I wanted to talk to you personally."

"Hm, interesting. And here I thought you all were faithful to each other but I suppose everyone has their secrets...."

"....Even you?"

You questioned in between making her slightly surprised then sigh and sit on the edge of the bed.

"If you wish to know, then yes, I do. I do have secrets of my own, some that even my daughter doesn't know."

"I have been wondering for some time, is Bronya your real daughter?"

"No, I adopted her some years ago. But I treat her no less than my own, she will eventually follow in my steps and take up this mantel."

"I see, that's a really kind gesture. To give a home to an orphan and groom her into such a capable adult."

Cocolia looked at you in surprise then smiled and stood up, "Forgive my manners, have a seat if you'd like. Shall I serve you something?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you."

"Hm. Well, was this what you wanted to talk about? My personal life?"

You struggled to answer her as you hadn't really thought out the conversation in advance, but you realized you had to be careful as you couldn't just spring up the question of her alliance with the Stellaron so casually.

"If you don't find it offensive then yes, I did wish to know more about you personally. I was just curious how your life has been, serving as the Supreme Guardian and before it."

"What an intriguing outlander. If I didn't treat you as the highest guest of honor then I would have thrown you into the prison by now."

"Ah....I understand that....I know it's late and we just met, I would offer to tell you about myself too but I unfortunately don't remember anything...."

"You don't remember anything? How very strange...."

You awkwardly looked away, finding it difficult to hold the conversation and move to the important topic.

"....You know, I did wonder about something when I saw you. Why are you with the Astral Express? Why become this....trailblazer?"

"Uh, well....for one, they were the ones who found me when I had just awoken with no memories. They took me in and I have been travelling with them since, Jarilo-VI is the first planet I have visited with them."

"Hm. So....they are like family to you."

"....In a way, I guess. At least they are willing to keep me and treat me well, doing these missions for them is a way of repayment. I somewhat relate with Bronya's situation here...."

"Ah, I suppose you could be seen as an orphan indeed, adopted by the crew."

"Yes and....I won't let any harm come to them, just like how Bronya would always protect you."

Cocolia's eyes widened at that and she looked away with a distressed expression, "I can't say for how long....If she disagrees with me some day then we'll be on opposite sides."

You sensed a weakness, an opening. You cautiously walked towards her and sat beside her on the bed, looking at her with sympathy.

"Is this part of your secret from her?"

Cocolia moved her gaze towards you to be met by a worried expression, catching her off guard. Suddenly, she turned away and you heard the same eerie whisper in your head. You looked at Cocolia and moved slightly closer and heard her mumble, "I know. Just....give me time."

She then turned towards you again and you quickly moved back, resuming your old posture.

"....It is part of it indeed, a secret so grave that she might not see me as her mother anymore."

"I see.....I hope that doesn't happen, the two of you are very affectionate with each other."

"Thank you for your kind words, I hope you can stay with the crew for as long as well."

You smiled then looked around the room slightly before continuing, "So, uhm, what did you do before becoming the Supreme Guardian? I feel like you took up the post at a young age."

"I did, I took up the post as soon as I graduated from my studies. I adopted Bronya just some time after it."

"Oh, so there is a school here."

"What? Did you expect we are so down in the drain that we can't even offer proper education to our citizens?"

"N-No! I'm sorry, I didn't mean that!"

"Hmph, we have all facilities any normal functioning city would. We just have too much ice all around."

"....And the Fragmentum Corrosion."

"Yes, looks like you saw that it has made its way into the city."

"I did, that's why we need to remove the Stellaron as quickly as possible...."

You again heard whisper and saw her turn away from you; this time, you tried to focus what it was saying to her.

"You are....wasting time....Put her....away...."

"I know....I'm just looking for the right moment...."

"She will....create problems...."

"Ma'am? Are you okay?" you called out to her in the middle of the conversation and she turned towards you with a distressed look on her face, almost as if she was in constant pain. 

"I'm fine. Is there more you want to talk about? Unlike you, I do need sleep to maintain my body."

"....What are these whispers that you hear?"

Cocolia was extremely shocked at your question and squinted her eyes into a glare, "What whispers are you talking about?"

"...The voice in your head, it's the Stellaron, isn't it?"

She glared even more and stood up, making you stand up as well and take a few steps away towards the door.

"Seems I underestimated you. You are much more perceptive than your companions."

"It has been talking to you since a young age, hasn't it?!"

"Silence! Do not question this further. Guards!"

She shouted and 2 Silvermane Guards immediately came inside the room with weapons.

"Put her in the prison, she is a traitor now!"

"Wait, listen to me! I know what it is and what you hear! It's controlling you! You are being brainwashed! Don't listen to it!"

You shouted as you fought with the guards, knocking them out one by one.

"The Stellaron won't save the planet! It only wants to destroy everything, it won't rebuild it the way it has shown you!"

"How dare you speak of the true God this way?! Our God has long abandoned us and this our only hope!"

"It isn't, it's going to destroy everything! Your home, your people, your daughter!"

Cocolia was suddenly taken aback and became silent before raising her arm and shouting, "I was going to wait until morning but....In the name of the Supreme Guardian, I hereby strip you of your freedom and beseech the highest degree of treason on you and your companions!"

You gritted your teeth and heard sound of fast approaching footsteps hence prepared to escape as quickly as possible.

"Please think about what I said. I promise to save you."

You ran out of the fort with hordes of guards behind you, you were soon surrounded by even more guards then heard Dan Heng and March coming towards you. They cleared a way for you and the three of you ran away together into the alley you had seen before.

"How did you both know where I was?!"

"We have been following you since you left the hotel." Dan Heng replied.

"That's right! Don't you dare abandon us and run away on your own like that ever again, Y/n!" March 7th followed in.

You eventually met up with Sampo again and followed him as he took you three away from the guards. Bronya had also caught up in the pursuit as you all reached the Underground and formed a temporary truce while looking for the Wildfire group. After you had left, Cocolia was in deep thought. The words you spoke resonated deeply with her and she pondered over her actions but the voice of the Stellaron soon plagued her again, sending her into the same torment she had been tolerating for years.

"Look what happened....she knew....It's your fault..."

"Shut up! She...she....she is right..."

"We showed you what we'll give you....you accepted it....You know the truth"

"When I finally had someone who understood me....you took them away...."

"Useless sentiments....it's your duty as the guardian to do this...."

Cocolia clenched her head then stood up, her resolution firm once again, "I know...it will all be over soon."

Upon making allies with the Wildfire group, you had been escorted to the Goethe Hotel in the Underground to rest. In the past few days, you had gathered a lot of information about the planet and Cocolia as a person. You talked to Bronya as she was the closest to her and found out more about her and how she had been ruling in recent times. All the things connected too well— she lost faith in the Preservation and started following the Stellaron as it promised a new world to her free from the disaster.

You were currently laying down on your bed at the hotel, thinking about your mission and about Cocolia. You did not want her to go down this path of ruin any longer, the times you heard her thoughts, you also sensed her pain and suffering. You could sense how much she had tried to resist it but she was only human, the continuous torment weighed on her too much. Just then, the whisper returned again and another dream flashed before you.

"I lost her....My wish, your so-called plan....What is the point of it all?" Cocolia barely spoke, her voice shaking from the constant despair she was facing.

"Your grief....sorrow....useless sentiments....abandon them all..."

"Silence! She is my daughter, my only....You soulless thing— how could you begin to fathom!? You will never understand....Never!"

"You did not lose her....She waits to be reunited with you on the other side."

"A new world...."

"Rise....guardian. Fulfill your destiny...Fulfill a mother's wish."

The voices finally stopped and you were on shaking by now, it felt too much to you. Her pain, sorrow, grief— everything was shared with you and made you scared, uncertain. How did she survive for so long with all that constant torment? How is she still carrying on her Guardian's Will? She was no frail woman but no ordinary human could tolerate such mental torture for so long.

"I need to do something quick. She's....dying, she's practically dying like this....Would she listen to Bronya? Maybe, I can try. They have ignored the Underworld for so long, now Bronya has seen it and she understands.....But, there needs to be something more concrete, she needs to be shown that the Amber Lord is still watching over them."

You had talked to Bronya soon after and explained her everything you had been experiencing, trying to make her understand how her mother had been suffering for such a long time all because she wanted to save the planet. Yet, your attempts had been in vain so far and here you were, at the battlefield of ice and snow, facing Cocolia in all her power.

You fought and struggled, trying to find a way to turn her over but her will was unshaken. The Stellaron gave her immense power, she awakened the Engine of Creation which created even more obstacles for you but you were determined. You were going to defeat the Stellaron and bring her back, there was no way you were going to leave her.

"If that thing is the Stellaron then....we need to weaken it to power her down." you thought while looking at the structure beside you that was radiating an eerie and powerful glow. You turned to face your comrades and called them near to explain your plan.

"Bronya, you said you heard the Stellaron there, right?" Bronya nodded. "Okay then, help me reach her up there and when I signal, all of you attack that structure with all your powers. You can't destroy it but we just need an opening for me."

Everyone was surprised at your proposition but agreed as they trusted your judgement, they readied themselves and assisted you as you navigated your way atop the Engine of Creation and be face to face with Cocolia again.

"You again....What a persistent little one you are."

"I promised to save you and make things right, I'm going to keep it!"

"Hmph, big words from a gullible Nameless! Only I understand that Stellaron is the true hope for this world, your name will be engraved on the foundation of the new world that the Stellaron has promised!"

She drew more of the Stellaron's power and transformed into a new form, complete with accessories made of ice and her body reflecting the galaxy. She summoned a lance and jumped at you, piercing you in the left side of your chest, very near to the heart. You gasped and were pushed back from the force but held yourself in place by holding onto the lance, she struggled and applied more force to thrust it deeper when you suddenly heard the whispers in your mind that were also in Cocolia's mind.

The whispers soon faded away and your mind went numb from the pain, you then found yourself in a place surrounded by nebulous stars, seemingly enveloped by an amber-colored destiny. A small child was in front of you who called itself the Guardian's Will, it spoke about the Supreme Guardian's duties and how it felt it had failed them since even the strongest minds could succumb to dark desires like this.

"We could not deny the will of the Stellaron after all...The Fragmentum had been expanding for the past 700 years. There is no faith nor wealth left for our successors...only despair. To see the home we vowed to preserved wither away....That in itself is torture. Not to mention the haunting whisper of temptation...." the child spoke.

"....Cocolia only did what she did to save the planet, your home. The Stellaron tormented her for awful long years, she has experienced so much pain and suffering all for the Will that she succeeded into. She felt she found a way, even if that way leads to destruction first but she saw paradise beyond it. That is why she succumbed, for her people, for humanity."

"....What are you implying, outsider? The day will come when even the strongest of wills cannot help but give in to such influence. It is only a matter of time before the Amber Lord forsakes us."

"I'm saying she needs to be guided again! She has a good heart and a strong will; she is a good mother and did her duties exceptionally all this time. You can't abandon her like this!"

"You wish to save her? You, a stranger, seek to bind your destiny to hers?"

"....I don't want to be a hero. I just want everyone to be well and happy, that includes her too."

"Hm, very well. Touch the light of the Amber, trailblazer. See if your will can attract their gaze."

You walked up to the shining fiery lance and proceeded to touch it, only to feel slightly burned by the intense heat. You remembered Cocolia's face and firmed yourself to be stronger, you were going to do this for her. You grasped the handle and pulled out the lance when you saw a faint imagery of a higher existence, the Amber Lord. At the same time, your consciousness was restored in your body and you found yourself at the same place like before.

You were tightly holding Cocolia's lance as it pierced you and she was unable to shake you off. You gasped and opened your eyes to look around then clenched her lance tighter, channeling fire through it which made Cocolia shocked and she tried to retract back but you reacted faster.

"Now! Everyone do it now!" you shouted as loudly as possible and at your command, everyone down below attacked the Stellaron with all their strength. Cocolia felt her power weaken for a few moments and held her head, that's when you established a connection with her and showed her what you had previously seen.

"Look, Cocolia! The Amber Lord! He's still there, the Will of the Preservation lives on! Don't listen to the Stellaron anymore!!"

Cocolia heard your words loud and clear, she found herself in the place you were at earlier and gazed at the Amber Lord for a brief moment. Her body trembled at its presence and she kneeled down in horror, trying to grasp the situation. However, this is as long as you had. The Stellaron repelled your allies and established its connection with Cocolia again, causing you to be pushed back with the lance still pierced in your body.

You both fell down to the platform below where everyone else was and pulled out the lance with all force you had and it soon turned into a weapon of fire; at the same time, Cocolia turned back to her normal form and was struggling very hard against the Stellaron's impending influence. Dan Heng and Bronya helped you stand up and watched as Cocolia struggled around, kneeling down and holding her head.

"Out of my way!" you shouted and ran up to Cocolia to hold her, the Stellaron was not letting her go and continued feeding its powers to her.

"The Fragmentum Corrosion will overwhelm her if this goes on!"

You thought hard and fast, time was running out. Cocolia now clenched her chest as a light started glowing around it and for the first time, she uttered her plea, her cry for help with a trembling and pained voice.

"H-H....Help....Please....I don't w-w....want to...."

You were caught by surprise then firmly held her shoulders and made your decision, this was the only way you could think of. You leaned forward and connected your lips to her, her body immediately stopping at the sudden contact. You heard gasps of surprise from behind you, not surprising but you had no time to care for them. You connected with the Stellaron that was powering her and channeled your own energy to overpower it.

"Get out! Leave her alone!"

The moment lasted for a short while, the Stellaron had left its control over her and you released the kiss. You opened your eyes and gazed into her teary yet gentle ones, clearly surprised by what you just did but she soon fainted in your arms before she could say anything. She clearly exhausted all her strength earlier but she was fine and breathing, that's all you cared about. 

Your companions walked around you as you picked up Cocolia in your arms bridal style and stood up. March was blushing and covering her face in excitement, she was ready to burst out any moment. Dan Heng had his usual stern expression; Seele was grinning in a weird way while Bronya seemed embarrassment but was the first to clear her throat and speak.

"Ahem, thank you for your help, all of you....especially you, Y/n."

"N-No, it's okay....Happy to help...."

Bronya smiled, "We can keep mother at the residence then discuss what to do from now on."

You nodded then looked at Dan Heng, "We have to inform Welt and Himeko to deal with the Stellaron now."

"I know, I already did that. They'll be here soon. Now that the Stellaron is sealed, the Eternal Freeze will slowly recede. The Fragmentum won't aggressively expand anymore, but nor will it disappear. Jarilo-VI has a chance to return to life, but it will take time..."

You smiled then looked at Bronya and Seele, "I'm sure they'll handle it."

Exchanging nods of agreement, you proceeded to go to Qlipoth Fort to place Cocolia in her room and let her rest. The guards were ready to attack you but seeing you carry Cocolia that way made them retract back and wait for further orders. An eventful day finally came to an end, you went to the Underworld and explained the situation to them as discussed with Bronya until Cocolia awakens so you can further decide what to do.

It seems your expedition had come to an end, now it was in the hands of the people of Belobog to take it from here. You spent the day bidding farewell to all your companions before you finally returned to the Astral Express to continue your journey. You had wished to meet Cocolia one last time before leaving but it seems that was not quite possible, nobody knew when she would wake up and you were to leave as soon as possible.

It was the morning of next day, you woke up to find messages from Bronya telling you that Cocolia had woken up and was asking to see you. Surprised yet relieved, you informed Himeko and excused yourself to go to Qlipoth Fort since you had time, the train was scheduled to depart in the afternoon. You were escorted to Cocolia's chamber, the same one from earlier. You saw her sitting on the edge of the bed and stand up as soon you entered, the two of you looking at each other shyly.

"Uh...do sit down, Y/n. Would you like something to eat and drink?"

"Um, just a coffee is fine...."

Cocolia nodded with a smile and ordered her butler who soon served 2 cups of coffee to both of you. You sat upon the bed beside each other, finding it difficult to speak. All of a sudden, you felt nervous around her, you couldn't look her in the eye. You would feel your face heat up at her gaze and you'd stutter your words, almost appearing like a fool.

"....I heard everything from Bronya. And I do remember many things myself now that I have recovered sufficiently."

"I-I see...."

"It was all my fault....my weakness made everyone suffer so much...The people of the Underworld I neglected, my guards that I sacrificed with no remorse, the friendships I broke and....threatened my own daughter's life. I don't think I can ever forgive myself...."

You looked at her wide eyed then gently held her hand, causing her to face you. "Don't blame yourself this way, you only did what you felt was right for the planet, to save it. The Stellaron manipulated you, it's not your fault."

"....I couldn't resist it's influence. If I was strong enough and held on to the Preservation then none of this would have happened."

"Yet you tolerated the Stellaron's torment for so long, that's no ordinary feat. That shows how strong you are, for not breaking for so long. You have what it takes to bear the Guardian's Will, don't think you are undeserving."

"You...." Cocolia fumbled on her words, tears filling her eyes as she gazed at you and recalled all that you did.

"You had no reason to do all this yet you....went so far for me...."

"I...I didn't do much...."

"You did...You saved me and all of us....How can I ever repay you....?"

She came closer and cupped your face, gazing at you with love and causing you to blush. 

"D-Don't worry about those things....I just wanted everyone to be well and happy, that's all. I don't want anything in return."

Tears rolled down her cheeks which she wiped away then moved her hands towards your chest, "I'm sorry for hurting you. Does it still pain? Did I leave a scar?"

You smiled then moved your shirt down slightly, exposing some of your chest to show her.

"See? Everything is fine. I don't know how but the lance didn't pierce my skin at all, or maybe it did but I healed and I didn't even realize it...."

You chuckled and she smiled in return looking at you, you had unintentionally come very close to her face. Your eyes trailed over her exquisite features, her captivating violet eyes, long lashes and rosy red lips. She too was gazing at you the same way, your lips enrapturing her as she remembered what you had done the day before.

"I-I'm sorry for....k-kissing you that way yesterday. I stepped into your personal space without permission, it's the only way I could think of to get the Stellaron away from you....."

You blurted out an apology as sincere as you could, you were still overwhelmed by her presence. She squinted her eyes then suddenly held your face firmly, looking at you with determination.

"Then, you have permission now. Do anything....even more than just a kiss."

"W-What—?!"

Your words were blocked as she crashed her lips against yours, engaging in a gentle yet passionate kiss. A softness enveloped your lips instantly, her lips moving with yours in perfect harmony, as if they were made for each other. You felt blissful, a strange yet addicting feeling engulfed you. She was slow and gentle, savoring the feeling and taste of your lips and you of hers. 

Your hands settled on her waist and subconsciously pulled her closer, her body pressed against yours as she pushed you back by your shoulders, making you lean on your elbows. She was practically all over you, capturing you within herself in every way. She was already occupying your mind for days and at this moment, she had your body wrapped around herself as well.

"Aaah~ Mhmm....Y-Y/n~"

She muffled out moans of your name, her tongue swiped your lower lip and you naturally let her in, almost too eagerly in some way. The kiss became rougher as you continued, her tongue swirled with yours in exquisite rhythm. Your hands crawled around her back, sliding into the hip windows of her dress before she finally stopped and abruptly pulled away. Flushed, she straddled your waist and you quickly removed your hands from her body.

"I-I'm so-"

"Ssh~ Don't be, don't you dare be." she placed her finger on your lip, effectively stopping you from uttering the wrong phrase.

She took a moment to compose herself, breathing in and out a few times before shyly looking away.

"Are you sure you want to do this with someone like me....? Y-You know I'm not exactly considered young now, you might want someone your age. Not to mention, all the heinous things I did....I'm not really desirable."

"....I didn't think of those but....I could say the same things. You would be better with someone your age; I have no experience in this so I may not be able to satisfy you. I don't consider myself attractive either, nobody really compliments me for my looks—"

"That's not true! You are really adorable!"

Cocolia exclaimed and held your face, leaning down near you.

"I had found you cute the first time we met; I didn't express it but I really did think that."

Your eyes widened in surprise then you extended you hand towards her face, "What a coincidence. I had found you very beautiful at that time too, I didn't even think about your age. I was just...instantly captivated."

Her face flushed even more; you could look at this adorable expression all day.

"Does that mean you....liked me since then?"

"....I did. I didn't realize it back then but now I do. I really like you."

You spoke honestly, not wanting to hide your feelings any longer. You expected her to be surprised— which she was— but not for long. She instead smiled and gently pecked your lips, "....I like you too. And I want to show my gratitude for all that you did, will you let me?"

There was no need for that but you didn't deny her, you felt this was the only time you could be together like this. Nobody knew how long it would be when you'd return to this planet, and nobody knew how she would change in that time. You had yearned to hold her, feel her and if she was willing as well then there was no greater joy for you.

You both sat up and she proceeded to untie her hair, letting them freely flow before taking off your jacket and t-shirt. She caressed the same spot on your chest as before, possibly still feeling guilty about what she did. She then leaned in and placed soft kisses on the spot, feather like kisses that felt comforting and sent shivers in your body. She moved to your neck and planted more kisses, along with licking and biting at some spots.

"I'll give you a good time. Do tell me if there's something you don't like, I don't want to do something wrong that would....make you hate me." she whispered in your ear while kissing the lobe, her warm breath tickling you and making you squirm in place.

"D-Don't worry, I trust you....I won't hate you, ever."

She smiled in contentment then pushed you down before sliding off her down clothes, her ample breasts displayed in front of your eyes. She sensed your gaze was fixated on her chest, she then leaned down and laced your palms together, fingers interlocking while she initiated a passionate kiss. She seemed to be cautious, considerate that it was your first time. And possibly, she didn't want to hurt you in any form, you were the only one who still loved her this way.

Tears formed in her eyes as you kissed, she became uncontrollable now. She knew things would never be the same with her people, her daughter. She'd most likely be punished once she steps outside this room, and once everyone knew the truth then nobody would ever look up to her the same way again. She released your palms and instead held your face, her lips trembling but she didn't want to part from the kiss.

"I-I'm sorry....really sorry. And thank you....thank you very much...." she mumbled while ghosting over your lips, you felt disheartened and wrapped your arms around her to hold her close. She then started kissing you passionately again, roughly moving her lips with yours. The uncertainty and despair in her mind were reflected in her love, she was desperate and needy but also careful and gentle. 

Before long, her hand slid down to your pants and slipped underneath, making you groan in surprise. She released the kiss to let you breathe, both of you panting while gazing at each other. She crawled down unbuttoned your pants and removed them, leaving you in just your underwear. Your face flushed as she stared at your naked self, but she gave an assuring smile before planting kisses on your stomach.

"You are really cute, Y/n. Your reactions are adorable and I want to see them more~"

You blushed even more and averted your gaze, too embarrassed by her words. She chuckled then gently moved your face up front again and pecking your lips.

"Don't be shy, let me look at you. I want to engrave all your expressions in my mind~"

You slowly nodded then she slid her hand under your panties, gently caressing your folds. Her face buried in your shoulder, lips right near the ear as she whispered sweet praises and encouragement while rubbing your clit. You shuddered; her fingers were slightly cold yet felt so good. Her sweet voice didn't stop mumbling at all, at some point you couldn't make out anymore what she was saying because your mind was hazy from the way her fingers moved.

She gathered your juices and thrusted in, delicately at first to let you get used to and find your sensitive spots. She kept note of your reactions profoundly, she wanted this to be perfect. The jerk of your legs and moans spilling from your lips whenever she touched that one spot gave her all the assurance, your breathing became ragged as she fastened her pace now. She inserted another finger seeing how wet you were and it gave her confidence, confidence that she was doing good.

You bit your lip as you tried to stifle your moans but she instead held it in her teeth to make you release, an indication that she wanted you to let it out as much as you wanted. The action sent you over the edge and she didn't miss that, your walls contracted on her fingers and she started thrusting faster now. Incoherent moans and gasps left your mouth and she relished those.

Cocolia was also strangely quite....motherly during the whole act. She was continuously praising you, encouraging you, telling you how adorable you were. You felt like being pampered, not that you were against it. Perhaps it was in her nature, intentionally or not. She kissed your cheeks before burying herself in your shoulder again, you clenched the bedsheet as you felt your high approaching soon.

"Cumming? Let it out, sweetheart~"

Adding that nickname was the last thing you needed, you had no restraint now. You arched back and released all over her fingers, your eyes shut tight and a loud moan echoing in the room. She smiled and gazed at your panting self before taking out her fingers, coated with your juices. What followed was something even more arousing to you— she licked all your juices from her fingers, not missing a single drop and cleaning it completely. You swear you almost came again watching that sight.

"How sweet....just like you~"

She slurred on her words; oh, how irresistible the sight was.

"Was it good? Something you didn't like or would prefer?" she questioned with sincerity. Even though it was clear how much you liked it, she wanted to be sure.

You smiled and nodded then sat up, she smiled back and was about to lean closer but you suddenly turned over and placed her on the bed instead, straddling her now. She was extremely surprised yet aroused, your eyes glinted with an insatiable desire while gazing at her. She felt like burning at your intense gaze, rubbing her legs together and face turning redder. She was likely not expecting this from you but she couldn't be more ready.

"You said you wanted to show your gratitude through this. Then....I want to show my love, and the fact that I will always support you and be there for you. I know you are feeling very distressed over what happened, you are blaming yourself too much for it all. I-I know it may seem like empty words considering I won't be here but—"

Cocolia quickly pulled you down and crashed your lips onto hers, preventing you from speaking further.

"Don't say more, don't...." you smiled then she pulled you down and hugged you, your head enveloped between her boobs while she caressed your hair. 

You blushed and moved your hands to cup her breasts and knead them, soft gasps leaving her mouth. You attached your mouth to her nipple and flicked your tongue, her chest instantly heaving and back arching as she gasped out. You swirled your tongue around the hardened bud while pinching the other one, she was holding you close the whole time, almost hugging you like a baby.

You sucked on her nipple then released it with a pop, continuing to plant kisses down her stomach until you reached her core. You spread her legs making her shiver in anticipation, she was already so wet, clearly inviting you. Her scent engulfed your senses, you pecked her clit and she instantly cried out then attempted to close her legs but you held them open. You then smirked and wrapped your lips around the sensitive clit, licking long strips over it before sucking.

Her head flew back and fingers intertwined in your hair, her hips jerked up and she moaned out loudly. "Aaah~ Y-Y/n.....More....Hahn!~"

You complied and sucked on her clit harder before licking her walls and inserting your tongue inside, your thumb was playing with her bud while you scissored your tongue inside her spongy hot walls. Juices flowed down as her grip in your hair tightened, you could feel her move her hips on her own as your tongue thrusted in and out. 

Cocolia cried out and moaned feverishly, messy whines accompanied by incoherent words filled the room. Her thighs enclosed around your face giving you the chance to raise her body up and go deeper with your tongue, that had her undone soon enough. She pulled you closer in and you religiously ate her out, taking a moment to look at her face which was drowned in pleasure and laced with sweat.

"Y/n! Cumming!~ I'm cumming! Aaaaaahn!~"

She released her sweet and addicting juices over your tongue and you delightedly drank them, savoring the taste. You put her legs down and gazed at her panting self, she smiled and extended her arms for you to come in and hug her, wrapping her whole body around you and holding you contently.

"You said it's your first time but that was really good, didn't seem like you were inexperienced at all." she mused, kissing your forehead.

"Really? I'm glad then."

You raised yourself up and gently kissed her lips, gazing at each other for a while before you crawled back again and settled yourself between her legs. She was confused for a moment but soon understood what you were doing as you intertwined your legs with hers, making a scissor formatting. She flushed with excitement and embarrassment, she didn't expect this from you but she would be lying if she said she didn't want this.

You came closer and slowly rubbed your clits together, an electrical feeling going through both of you. She watched you from beneath as you groaned and whined, picking up the pace and finding the right rhythm. You too watched her from above, her boobs jiggling with your thrusts and her eyes glimmering dark with hunger. 

You planted your hands beside her and leaned down more before vigorously rubbing against her. You moaned in unison, your clits rolling with ease due to your juices coating one another. Her own hips began rolling upwards while her hands wrapped around your back and clenched your skin, nails digging in and leaving marks. 

"Mhmmm~ Faster Y/n! M-More!~"

She shamelessly whined, her clit is hard and throbbing, wet with arousal. You could see her body tremble and how she wriggled with the tension building in her stomach. She looked like an absolute goddess, a queen, so needy for you. Her head flew back and she wailed in pleasure before biting on your shoulder to stifle her moans, you hissed as you felt her teeth sink in and suck on your skin. You were sure a bright mark would be left, not that you minded it. If anything, you wanted her to leave more such marks.

You rutted your hips faster and so did she, your cunts were wet and messy with each other's juices, she squealed and jerked up as she came all over your cunt. You wanted to continue more and take in more of her heavenly expressions but you soon approached your own release as well and came over her. Both of you crying out in pleasure together then you fell atop her and she lovingly held you close, planting soft and sweet kisses on your shoulder and face.

Sometime later, you were lying down beside each other under the sheets. Your face was nestled comfortably on her chest while she ran her fingers through your hair and hummed softly. Both of you felt at peace and were comfortable, your arm wrapped over her waist and she occasionally planted kisses on your head.

"Y/n, I wanted to tell you something."

"Yes?"

"I....I have decided to give up the position of Supreme Guardian."

You were taken by surprise and looked up at her, "Why? Are you still—"

"No, that's not it. I feel it's the right time. It's true what I did is also weighing on me and the judgement panel will likely strip it off me anyways but....I do feel I should give it now. Bronya is more than capable, she has even seen how the Underworld is and I trust in her to make Belobog prosperous again. I don't want to hide the truth of what happened, it's okay if the people end up hating me. It's their right and I deserve it. I will accept whatever punishment is bestowed upon me and wish Belobog a happy future with their new leader."

"Cocolia....are you sure?"

"I am, and you gave me the courage for it. I'm okay with this...."

You slowly nodded as you knew she has made this decision with all her heart and there likely is no other way. You thought for a moment then an idea came to you which you weren't sure of saying but firmed yourself.

"Then, I have a suggestion."

"Hm? What is it?"

"Come with me, aboard the Astral Express. Become one of us, we'll travel together and stay with each other. I'm sure the crew will listen if I insist and I know they don't hate you, they will accept you."

Her eyes widened in shock and she wasn't sure of what to say, "Y/n....I appreciate your offer but....I can't leave Bronya alone. I can't make her bear the responsibility and just leave without offering any aid...."

"You can. You just said she's more than capable. And she has many people by her side, there's Seele, Serval, Gepard, all the people of the Underworld— I know she will be able to handle."

Cocolia thought for some time then nodded, "Alright, I'll see what I can do after the judgement. Will you wait for me until then?"

You smiled, "Of course, I will. I have anyways delayed our time of departure so might as well stay a bit more~"

"Did you not inform them?"

"I did— but I didn't foresee doing this before coming here, you know?~"

You teased making her giggle and peck your lips before holding you closely again. Time came to pass and you were back at the Express and explained the situation to everyone. Welt scolded you for leaving like that without any information while Himeko calmed the situation and accepted your request. More time passed and you heard the door of the train open, a visitor coming in.

You went to check in the lobby and found none other than Cocolia standing there with a bag in her hand, she smiled looking at you then spoke. 

"May I come aboard the Astral Express and travel with everyone?"

She said intently and you smiled widely then lunged into her arms, tightly hugging her with happiness. 

"I wish to stay with you from now on, Y/n...." she whispered while hugging you and you happily nodded. No matter where the journey was going to go from here, you were glad to have the woman you love beside you during it.

[ultimateloserboy]

i cant go to sleep until i release the thoughts so here they are. im sorry if this is a bit more nonsensical or rambleish than my other ones, im very very tired but anyway

this is going to be a bit upsetting for the lovey-dovey sunshine and rainbows crowd but people give red guy and duck WAYY too much credit when it comes to their relationship (or at least how it used to be) like they DID NOT //start out// functional AT. ALL. they used to go together like a car and a tree. and honestly this makes them even more interesting

They’re both insecure in different areas, and they react differently to these insecurities as well. from what ive gathered, red guy dislikes how “odd” he is. he tries to act bitter and uncaring about everything and everyone, either to fit in with the other red things, or to keep himself distracted or distanced from the world hes stuck in. he distances himself from his friends as well. this is a horrible contrast with ducks outward and open love of his friends (despite how horribly he treats them lmao but i digress) duck reveals in the family episode that despite loving himself, he wants other people to love him too. duck is not necessarily insecure in himself, hes the best one after all, but he does feel very lonely. he feels like nobody loves him as much as he loves himself, like the only person he truly has is himself because nobody else is willing to love him. this obviously makes him feel very alone. this is why red guys denial and dismissal of his friends hits ducks insecurities harshly and directly, even if its not intentional.

once i got to the fridge scene during my first watchthrough i was very confused. firstly because i was utterly flabbergasted that they were gay for some reason (i had never even considered it), and secondly because ducks reply caught me off guard. duck is a very full-of-himself character. so why would he be surprised to find out someone likes looking at him? shouldnt he reply with something like “well yeah duh you big stupid idiot im the prettiest and the best etc etc”?? well i understand now why duck reacted that way. he doesnt get many compliments from anyone but himself, probably talking in the mirror. and he ESPECIALLY hadnt gotten many compliments from red guy at this point. red guy denied being his friend very adamantly. EVEN AT HIS FUNERAL. HIS FUNERAL!!! and yes red guy does realize he misses duck eventually, but duck isnt even there to see it, and when he comes back he finds himself literally replaced?? (like.. red guy ur fumbling so hard right now. fumbling straight into a divorce. and ur not even married yet man. but anyway, back on topic)

slowly throughout the series red guy starts being more open, and whether he realizes it or not his whole uncaring act isnt that good to begin with. my favorite small detail during the funeral is that red guy calls the plates “our plates” without even realizing it, right in the middle of denying his best-friendship with duck. like dude who do you think youre fooling other than yourself!?

with all of this considered, despite red guys poor performance of denial, it’s perfectly understandable for duck to be surprised when red guy openly confesses his honest emotions. an up-front confession of feelings is not something red guy ever wants or allows himself to do, so duck was probably confused as hell.

my favorite part of this scene is how red guy is looking away when he says it, still clearly embarrassed but saying it anyway. this is a HUGE deal for his character. it was a character development that had been slowly growing throughout the tv series, and by episode six i think it was as close to completion as its ever been. he does pull the whole “its fine just ignore it” thing with duck earlier in the episode, but he does it more to calm him down in this context. the fridge scene confirms to me that red guy has almost stopped running, not necessarily from the house, but from his friends. he has finally let himself love them. hes finally let himself admit not just to himself, but to duck, that hes important to him.

this is why i think theyre so interesting, because these two characters are cynical assholes. that’s how becky and joe have described them at times. these characters are not the best of people, theyre both messed up people in a messed up and confusing world, so of course they wont be perfect. but thats the beauty of it. they dont want to hurt eachother, so they try their best to change. they try their best to fight against the cruelty of their minds and surroundings and let themselves love eachother even if only for a second, even if in the end it wont really matter

ok im going to sleep now goodnight

[naughtybg3confessions]

I really don’t get why polyamory is on tag list with all of those triggering topics. You have made so many positive changes to this blog, yet you choose to keep this because of one single anon. Why?

I understand your concern, anon. It was never intended to be a cw tag from the beginning, and after repeated exchanges with the community it was decided that it would remain a tag, but remain not considered a part of the content warning list. Just its own, neutral tag. There haven't been a lot of requests for other tags of that nature yet, so it can be easy to confuse the content tag list with the cw tag list.

I don't publish every tag request, especially those made over DMs and not the ask box. Multiple people messaged me and requested it be tagged for their own personal reasons, and I was willing to accommodate that, since everyone seemed fine with it remaining a tag as long as there was no implication that it be treated as an overall controversial subject.

You can see a play by play of this discourse, and my consistent opinion on it, here, here, here, here, and here.

I do understand why it looks bad, having it beside so many controversial content tags though. At this point I will amend this, so that the confusion finally stops. The last thing I want is for people to think this blog is anti-polyamory in any way. I'm trying to respect the requests of my followers, but I also don't want to alienate anyone or make them feel like their relationships are somehow wrong or negative.

At this point, I'm getting tired. Not of you anon, your question is valid, but just in general. I will continue to use the tag as promised to the people who came to me, but I'm removing it from the tag index so nobody takes it the wrong way. It's really not necessary to have it up there, anyway.

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

Okay so I wanted to talk more about the poll listing Hero as a villain song and how little sense it makes to me. Admittedly Les Poissons also doesn't make a ton of sense as Louis is more of an antagonist not a villain but at least Sebastian sees him as a villain so it kind of works. But Hero is called well Hero for a reason, and classifying it as a villain song is strange to put it mildly.

The first lines from Hero that most fans heard where:

I would die Without regret, I'd offer up my life With zero reservations I would fly Into the sun, if that would keep our dream alive

I say most fans heard as those are the lines the song starts on in R/WBY during the Gravity fight. The first lines of the song are:

Take my hand I'm here to protect you Nothing will stop me Understand There's no sacrifice that I won't make I'll risk it all to keep you safe Trust me to be strong I'll be your hero, just hold on

Now regardless of which lines a fan heard first, both convey that James is willing to die to protect people. He is willing to sacrifice himself to protect people and keep them safe. That is not the mindset of a villain. It doesn't meet any criteria for a villain song. TVtropes describes a villain song as: "The Villain Song is an over-the-top, gloating cackle about their Evil Plan, philosophy of life, or why they do what they do" They also mention a villain song can be someone else singing about the villain and what they've done like Cruella Deville or it can be a villain trying to trick or manipulate someone to do what they want like Friends on the Other Side or Poor Unfortunate Souls.

Now lets take a look at every version of villain songs. Hero doesn't discuss some evil plan or really any plan. It's about James's desire to protect people, which definitely isn't villainous. James isn't singing it so it's not him talking about his philosophy and their is no mention about why he does what he does, only a desire to help people. No one else is even singing the song so its not like Cruella Deville and again their is no villainous deeds being discussed so even if someone else was singing about it, it doesn't work as a villain song.

Now some people might argue that it is James tying to manipulate people but again, James is not singing it, so he can't be manipulating someone when he is silently fighting a known terrorist and trying to stop him form destroying Amity Tower and killing everyone. And again, even if he was singing it, it doesn't make any sense to be "manipulating" Watts as Watts works for Salem and is helping end the world. He is not a hero in any sense so the argument James is manipulating a villain because he is a villain despite his only goal at the moment being to stop a terrorist makes no sense.

So, the song doesn't match any sort of definition of what a villain song is. Furthermore, the lyrics are not those of a villain. RW/BY songs are said to be the characters own inner thoughts. A villain would not think about being willing to die for someone or a greater goal. They would not think about offering comfort and kindness.

Now this goes more into head cannon territory but for me parts of Hero like:

Deliver you from harm Shelter in my arms The fear will surely fade Know right now the plan I made will guide us home We'll survive this storm

or: Hope's not gone, just hold on

Are words James wishes might be said to him. Just look a t how happy he is when he's told Ozpin is back and in Atlas.

Vs how crushed he is when he finds out Ozpin is gone again.

For me personally this always read as someone who is tired but carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders because their isn't anyone else who can carry it. He has to but hopes their is someone who can help him, but when he realizes that isn't the case he continues carrying the burden and continues to stand tall and offer hope and shelter to people the best he can.

Back from head cannon territory, I want to focus on this line here: Hope's not gone, just hold on

Offering assurances that the war is not lost, that they just need to keep holding on and not lose hope. Those are not the inner thoughts of a villain. They're the inner thoughts of a Hero. The very name of the song.

Even if we could convince ourselves that Hero has lyrics of a villain song. James is not yet a villain when the song plays (yet is used vey loosely here as volume 8 is just. So bad. He shouldn't have been a villain ever but that's another post). He is actively fighting Watts, someone who works for Salem, someone who is trying to end the world. He is actively working to keep people alive when this song plays. Trying to apply Hero as a villain song to an arc that happens in a volume the song never plays in makes little sense.

The writers themselves said the ending of volume 7 was supposed to be a trolley problem with no clear right answer. So calling him a villain in volume 7 also just doesn't work based on the writers own words. But again, even if the writers now say James was clearly the villain at the end of volume 7, that doesn't fix the issue of James clearly being the hero in the Gravity fight where the song Hero plays.

I don't know how else to put this, but saying Hero is a villain song is so laughably wrong it's crazy I have to discuss this at all.