#and like im alwayssss saying terms just exist to describe experiences so im not like gatekeeping ur experience or whatever

[cruelsister-moved2]

I was wondering if you could elaborate on what you mean by you don’t think femme4femme is a thing? Like do you not agree with it or not think people have that experience, or is a historical or terminological disagreement?

no like theres plenty of feminine women who want to fuck other feminine women it just doesnt really have much to do with the butch/femme subculture and like most people who are going out of their way to announce that they're femme4femme are just doing it in a defensive like uhmm i only like pretty cute soft pink uwu girlsss 🥺 way thats just terminally irritating 😭 ur the default majority already so it like comes hand in hand with this idea that butch4femme couples are like somehow privileged and proximal to heterosexuality or something ... and to me in that context femme is just meaning like that ur a feminine woman in purely aesthetic terms so like idrc if ur using that word to describe who u wanna bang in the appropriate context, but i dont think it constitutes a femme identity in the butchfemme way which literally only exists in the first place out of courting rituals between butch and femme women. so yeah its historical/terminological for sure, hopefully what i said makes sense<3

i do think its worth considering like how internalised lesbophobia and the stigmatisation of gnc women etc might be affecting this and like i say, a lot of the like aggressively femme4femme ppl are young gays w a lot of internalised lesbophobia who need to make it clear that theyre like an acceptable pretty soft whatever lesbian not like those dykes, but thats not me saying that ur problematic for not fancying butches or something - like were the roles reversed id be the exact same bc feminine women just arent what's attractive to me n thats fine. but the reason a lot of our hackles go up at that term is because through experience we've come to associate it with dehumanisation of our partners and dismissal of our desire, etc. a lot of ppl have some kind of variation and maybe like really androgynous girls or all sorts of girls who are both feminine and masculine or whatever whereas i feel like if ur out the gate dismissive of anyone whos not hyperfeminine that is just to me more likely a sign that uve got some stuff to deal with. but thats for u & like ill never dismiss someone purely based on who theyre attracted to thats crazy but if ur framing it in a way thats clearly defensive against proximity to the gnc women in ur community or something then yeah i dont think you have any right to the subculture which they built and defended as a safe space from people exactly like u!! i hope that makes sense and any follow up qs are totally welcome if i said anything that confused u or u dont agree, i hope i dont come off hostile or anything 🥺 also i just realised i have a really bad habit of oscillating between second and third person when i start talking about an abstract group so jic im not referring to YOU, anon but to like a vague ye <3