#and like my brains. empty... i said something earlier abt names right???

[eggceereal]

hhgdhnsd bros i am feeling all kinds of tired for no good reason.. might just head out now...

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[peechbea]

@yukiteruakari said: Ooooh I wanna know more about your headcanons :>>

idk if you meant abt the fic or Leon in general but i’m using this opportunity to ramble anyway, rip-

right off the bat, i hc that Leon’s mother died during childbirth and his father was devastated about it, but in order to support himself and Leon, he moved in with his brother and sister-in-law. since Leon grew up in the same house as Kanon, that's why he views her as more of a sister than a cousin

this is one i’ve already talked about here BUT, i hc Leon’s real name to be Kazuo Kuwata, but that’s also his father’s name, so before he changed his name, people called his father by his name and then they called Leon “Kazzy” or “Kaz”

( hearing people call Kazuichi “Kaz” still throws him for a loop )

he doesn’t like violence actually!! he’s temperamental and snarky sometimes, but he’ll avoid violence whenever he can, unless he has to, yknow,,,defend himself, just in case that would ever happen lol-

to add onto the above, i also like to think he stays far away from violence because he didn’t as a kid and it landed him in juvie ( which i also like to think is where he met Mondo briefly, but neither of them really remember each other )

and to add onto THAT, while he will avoid throwing a punch if he can, he will absolutely intervene if other people are getting hurt. even at the risk of his own safety, he’ll be the diversion so the original victim can escape bc, unlike the victim, he actually CAN defend himself if he needs to

in the game, it’s quickly brushed over but they mention breakfast meetings and after Toko says she’s never had breakfast with anyone before, Leon also joins in and says that it’s “been a while for him too”, so i like to think he USED to have breakfast with his family a lot as a kid, but then when tensions grew between him and his dad, he eventually stopped showing up altogether

the hair stylist he talks about in his FTE is actually an ultimate and a good friend of his and her name is Kaori, but they only really talked in the time Leon attended Hope’s Peak so he forgot her name by the time the KG rolled around

his hair is actually brown and surprisingly wavy, he just slathers it in hair gel to keep it upright

to add onto the above, Kazuo has blonde hair and green eyes while Leon has brown hair and blue eyes, which are both traits of his mother. the fact that he looks so much like her yet keeps changing his appearance is another thing that pisses his dad off, mans never coped with her death properly

this one may get a little long, but bear with me: when he and Kanon were kids, his dad was incredibly closed off emotionally, his uncle was VERY busy, and his aunt always felt like she was trying to be his mom and he didn’t really like that, i like to believe there wasn’t really anyone for he or Kanon to go to if there was a problem. so, in order to be the big brother figure he believed Kanon wanted him to be, he shoved his own emotions and problems way down and focused on helping her instead. since he was really the only person who ever cared for her or tried to support her, that’s why she got way too attached to him. he just didn’t realize how bad it was until they got older, and he feels bad about possibly cutting her off because there’s no one else for her to go to.

thanks to how he grew up, he is INCREDIBLY closed off and doesn’t like showing his emotions to anyone because helping people is HIS job, he can’t have people help him if they see him break, that’s not how it works 

AND ANOTHER THING, since he often felt alone as a kid, he sought out attention from other people, so he thrived on the approval that baseball gave him. eventually, he kind of got addicted to that attention and would seek it out in any way he could. he quickly found out that bad attention often kept people talking about him more often than good attention did, so he built up a reputation as a player even though he was never really interested in girls to begin with

( speaking of, i do think he is homoromantic/pansexual, if that clears up any confusion there might’ve been rip )

he's also just, really good at masking how he feels?? like, i could look at his behavior in chapter 1 as just something to make the game run smoothly, but i wanna look at it like this: Leon is panicking, he's stressed because he committed a murder that he JUST found out he's going to have to try and get away with, and yet his behavior doesn't even change. he wears his usual mask, makes his usual comments, still has the balls to be kind of an ass to Toko, and all this while he's probably crumbling inside. he has had so long to cover his feelings, man-

also?? he will always introduce himself as “Leon Kuwata”, but when he’s alone and talks to himself out loud, he still refers to himself as Kazuo

despite being an extrovert, he's still incredibly anxious, and that extends to public outings!! because of this, he's developed a kind of code for his friends so they know what he needs since words don't always work. a tug to someone's sleeve means "i need a second to calm down", two tugs means "i'm uncomfortable" or "i don't like this conversation/what's happening", and three means "my social battery is out" or "i need to leave ASAP"

the clip on his jacket and all those rings + his necklace??? they're there for show, mans has ADHD he needs stuff to fidget with

sometimes his brain is on autopilot and his thoughts mix with that autopilot, which sucks when he has to sign autographs. there’s been times where he’s signed things as “Kazuo Kuwata” and just prayed no one mentioned it

he doesn't trust easily!! not because he doubts people's intentions, but because he can't be sure they won't try to 1) use his fame to propel themselves upwards or 2) help him with his problems, which circles back to an earlier point. he loves to be seen but god forbid anyone understand him

his wikipedia page? nearly empty. it has his feats and public information on it, but stuff like his birthday or his real name aren't correct. the part where it would mention his life story & background is completely blank. he's also edited his height to say 6'0" ( ~182 cm ), this is not true, his shoes just give him a little extra height

 this one is just self indulgent but i like to think he’s drawn to Byakuya because he has his entire life planned out for him and has for a long time, meanwhile Leon has no idea what he wants to settle on for sure and is anxious/stressed but Byakuya never seems to be like that. he always seems cool and collected, and as Leon’s polar opposite, it’s only natural that he’s drawn to him

[infinite-insignia]

((I uh. made an edgy moodboard for myself. also a vent/rant under the cut.))

(( wasn’t exactly in a super angsty mood earlier but then I thought abt things and my brain went “man I really was a horrible person huh” so basically this is a representation of my edgy kin thoughts whenever they resurface. not even joking, some of the quotes are p accurate. especially the “killed my old self but the new me isn’t much better” one cause it reminds me of my death and honestly yeah. that was totally my doing. tryna be a better person in this life but I guess I can’t do that. I mean it didn’t work back then, why would it work now. tho if I give up on remembering my last life, I’d be giving up on what’s p much my purpose in this life. remember everything and use that knowledge to (try to) better myself before this human body gives out and this soul fades. cause I don’t think this soul’s gettin reincarnated again. not like I have another shot at remembering everything. but everyone tells me to stop focusing on the past. that it doesn’t define me now. but tbh? it kinda does at this point. the human life I’ve lived? yeah that was normal before I remembered what I was last time. and now it’s all I think abt--and to be told to stop thinking abt it? to be called delusional over it? to have people try and prove me wrong by telling me how I lived my life--or, worse, by saying it never even happened? it hurts me emotionally. like,,,deeply hurts me. I wanna talk to people abt things so I know someone’s listening. that someone cares enough to at least attempt to understand. even fake understanding would be enough cause I’d believe it was real. I’d have someone to talk to outside of tumblr, at least. sure, my psychologist knows a bit abt this stuff, but I only see her once every other week--and not this week. so I can’t talk to her. can’t talk to my mom cause she doesn’t understand and I know for a fact we’d end up arguing. she’s said it before--she wants her kid back. this messed-up delusional freak who brings past lives into their current one apparently isn’t her kid--but that’s who I am. that’s what I do. even among people like me, I feel alone. I can’t talk to anyone and it’s driving me nuts--but at the same time I’m terrified to talk to people because of the reactions they could have. I can talk abt it on here but to you guys it probably just seems like lame, delusional ranting. so I might as well shut up before I start to look like even more of a whiny bitch, huh. I say that despite knowing it’s hard to shut up once I start talking. ugh. man I went from 0 to 100 real quick in terms of bad moods. and it’s not even a bad mood? like I’m upset, yeah. but it doesn’t exactly feel like stress, it feels more like,,,emptiness. like I’ve dealt with this shit enough that I’ve figured there’s no point in stressing over what’s gonna happen every few days or so. my brain wants to mistake this emptiness for calmness--but I’m not calm. I’m not happy, I’m not content, I don’t even know what I’m feeling. I’m a freakshow brought into another life for god knows what reason. Phantom Ruby shouldn’t have had the power to reincarnate me but it somehow did. Ruby itself is here too somehow--it’s just super weak/faint. like,,,I can tell it’s there, but it can’t do much. I can’t even see it anymore or hear it out loud--it’s just like an inaudible voice, kinda like a thought that’s not actually coming from me. if that makes sense. probably doesn’t cause I’m just delusional apparently. oh well. can’t let my mom know I’m going through this cause we’d just argue. cant tell my sis cause she doesn’t wanna hear abt my kin bs. says its annoying cause I talk abt it too much. tho she also says it’s not an issue as long as I believe it and I’m not hurting anyone--and I’m not hurting people. not intentionally. I just wanna talk. have some sort of an outlet. but when most of my past life is full of war and murder and blood and stress and evil and destruction and everything else that is horrible, people are gonna judge me if I talk abt it. think I’m still some murderer today--which I’m not. definitely not. I regret the things I did. yet I’ve had someone tell me that ‘villains don’t feel regret’ and you wanna know what I did in response? pushed said person in a fit of anger. not a super strong push or anything, just enough to throw them off balance for a second. but like,,,you can’t tell me what I did or didn’t feel. sure I may not have regretted a whole bunch during the war, but afterwards? I was a walking ball of stress and regret trying to make a better name for myself but failing. waiting til the end of the planet, when I was the last living mobian, to do something abt it. and that something wasn’t pretty--it’s what caused me to move onto this current life. I get a lot of thoughts from various points in my last life, and those all cause a whole lot of emotions. yet, at the same time, I currently just feel like a void. an empty shell who feels the emotions but not the effects of them. the emotions exist but have no impact currently. tho that doesn’t make sense to you does it? wow. to think I was all happy yesterday over that follower milestone. ofc I have to go and ruin my own mood again since that’s all I’m good for apparently. might just go to bed early at this point. take the rest of the night off. nothing else to do. it’s either sleep or leave myself with my thoughts--the latter of which would only lead to more stress and/or empty feelings. anyway. I don’t want you guys worrying abt me. you can feel bad for me, try to make me feel better, but don’t worry. worrying abt me would be a waste of time. I’ll live. just going through another rough moment all of a sudden. but as long as I have a purpose in this current life, I plan to see it all the way through. meaning I won’t physically hurt myself or do anything stupid over this, so don’t worry. my physical health is just fine. mentally, not so sure. probably shouldn’t be saying not to worry cause now you’re gonna worry. whatever, I’ve been typing way too much. said more than I probably should have. probably look like an overreacting emo teen. but I’m just gonna go to bed and try not to let these thoughts get to me. tho my brain is most active right before falling asleep most nights so I doubt that’d work. gonna have to go to school tomorrow. no use in arguing, it makes everyone feel worse. it’s just gonna be a slow, crappy day. at least wednesday is a half day and then we get the rest of the week off for thanksgiving. not that we’re gonna be celebrating this year, we cancelled out plans cause my grandma’s sick and we usually go over to her place where she cooks thanksgiving dinner. but certain smells make her nauseous and the whole thing would be too much of a hassle, so we cancelled that this year. I’m kinda worried abt her. haven’t seen her in a little bit and she has another surgery in december. no idea what kind of surgery but she’s in her 70s and has been sick before so. idk. I do know I’m concerned for her and also myself. my own mental state is a wreck and idk what to do abt it. but for now I’m gonna go to bed. sorry for taking up so much of your time, assuming anyone actually read this whole thing.))

[duckybeth99]

Memory Box

look at that I finally wrote smthn lmao

based off how I said Neva is working as a waitress rn and a fact that clara and i thought abt with Johnny being a busboy and pizza delivery guy. initially not meant to make a connection, but then it did in my brain and this is the result

———

He requested to not work around her when she was hired.

He told them he didn’t want to work with her. He was vague, but his co-workers were understanding. They typically listened and scheduled him and her at different times.

Except today.

Johnny parked his motorcycle and slid off his helmet, heading inside the restaurant to work. He was a busboy, also ran pizza deliveries with that fast bike of his. He just slapped on the logo sticker when he was working, and a small little flag for the back.

He entered through the back, high-fived with some people leaving for the end of their shift, punched the shoulder playfully of one of the cooks, laughing the whole time as he set his bag aside and hung up his helmet and jacket.

Walking out into the restaurant, though, he saw her waiting tables in the middle of the area.

Neva’s hair was tied back in a ponytail that made him annoyed. It reminded him too much of his sister.

She rushed back and forth with the black trays, carrying burgers and drinks and sodas. Johnny glared at her.

“Hey,” Johnny grabbed the arm of one of his co-workers, whispering, “I thought Neva wasn’t working tonight.”

“Last minute switch,” the co-worker shrugged. “Nancy called out for a family emergency, and Neva picked up the shift.” Johnny let go of his co-worker, rolling his eyes.

“Great,” he grumbled, grabbing his basket and heading over to one of the empty dirty tables to clean.

He’d be sure to avoid her, for his own sanity’s sake.

———-

The dinner rush went fairly smoothly considering being a weekend night, with only two tables filled. Johnny slid onto a bar stool. The bartender passed him a water.

“What?” Johnny frowned at it. The bartender shrugged.

“Sprite dispenser is busted,” he said. Johnny banged his forehead against the bar.

“You’re killing me, Maury. Not even a milkshake?”

“Boss told me to stop giving you them during work.”

“Ugh,” Johnny groaned, rolling his eyes. “My night just keeps getting better. Can I get a bendy straw at least? Or am I to be stripped of all my joy?”

Maury swapped the regular straw for one of the color changing ones for kids drinks.

“This isn’t even bendy!” Johnny nearly yelled at the cup. Maury only gave another shrug and moved to clean the other side of the bar.

“Yo, can I get some fries with that shake?”

“Lay off,” Neva sighed, tucking a black tray under her arm. Johnny glanced over his shoulder to see Neva, face slightly red, walking away from a table full of guys. They were snickering. He initially thought what they said was an actual order. Johnny looked over at Neva as she passed him by. She stopped suddenly and looked over at him and Maury.

“Stop staring, too,” she mumbled, her face redder. Johnny turned his attention back to his water and fiddled with the straw.

“Wasn’t even staring,” Johnny mumbled.

“Still,” Maury shrugged, “she looks good for her age.”

“Don’t,” Johnny rubbed his temple. “She’s the birth mom of my sister.”

“Yeesh,” Maury crossed his arms, a subtle look of tension on his face. “Sorry. What, you don’t like her?”

“She’s the cause of all the things my little sister went through before my dad and I took her in,” Johnny grumbled. “Don’t wanna go into it. But she’s selfish, flaky, stupid, annoying, and a coward.”

“Wow,” Maury smirked. “Little harsh?”

“Just the right amount of ‘harsh’,” Johnny sipped his water. “I know her better than you or anyone else here. So don’t mind a bird coming your way.”

“What?”

Johnny held up his middle finger. Maury laughed heavily.

“Alright, I’ll lay off,” he teased. “Haven’t seen you this riled up in ages.” Johnny took a quiet sip from his water, staring at it. The straw was blue, but every time the water shot through, it turned purple. He remembered being fascinated with it as a kid, when his dad would take him here after little league games.

It’s not easy to be a parent on your own, Johnny thought to himself, twirling the straw. But he could do it. So why couldn’t Neva? Exceptional incompetence?

“Yo, Johnny, you’re up,” Maury nudged his head to a table behind Johnny. The couple just left. Johnny tossed out his straw and drank the last swing of his water, wiped the water from his lips, then grabbed the basket and his washcloth, flinging the damp thing over his shoulder.

He picked up the dirty dishes and baskets, tossed in the messy napkins and started to wipe down the table.

“Please, just leave me alone.”

Johnny looked over his shoulder at Neva, arms crossed as she stood in front of the table of guys.

“Why you gotta be like that, babe?” one smirked. Neva glared at him.

“I’m nobody’s babe,” she grumbled. “Lay off. Or else we’ll kick you out. We have anti-harassment—”

“You talk like anybody here is gonna help you,” another guy laughed. “Look around, sweetie. Barely anybody’s here. Just that busboy, and if they’re like any other guy, they’re probably just wanting to compliment you, too.”

“You think you’re complimenting me?” Neva’s voice was struggling to hide her anger. Johnny never heard it before. “Look, one more shot. Don’t bother me again, and I won’t force you out.”

“Sure, babe,” a man winked. Neva looked disgusted and turned to leave the table. Johnny glanced up at the clock. He finished cleaning the table and headed to the back to clock out and grab his stuff.

Just as he finished and took his name tag off, he heard the guys outside whistling and laughing. Something didn’t sound right about it.

The young man pushed open the door, seeing Neva bright red and covering her bottom. Maury had left the bar. Nobody else was out to see this.

“Don’t touch me!” Neva yelled at the men. Her chest was heaving. Johnny’s eyes narrowed and he felt his jaw tighten.

“Hey,” Johnny stood next to Neva, an arm in front of her, “I think she told you to stop earlier.”

“What’re you gonna do about it, busboy?” one of the men frowned.

“I got a name,” Johnny glared, “and I’m actually off the clock. Busboy’s gone. Guy who’s gonna kick your ass if you don’t leave this lady alone is in charge.”

“Oh, yeah?” another man rolled his eyes. “There’s one of you and four of us. You’re all talk—”

“You wanna fucking try me?” Johnny grabbed the shirt of the guy, instantly making him go quiet with a gulp. “This lady said stop. She told you we have an anti-harassment policy. We can refuse service to anyone. Pay your damn check and get out.” Johnny let go of the man, nearly tossing him back into the booth’s cushion. Johnny turned around, gave one last glare to the men, before popping the collar of his jacket and heading to the back again to leave.

Neva kept staring at him in disbelief as he walked away.

A few minutes later, and Johnny had his bag slung on one shoulder and his helmet tucked under his other arm. He whistled and twirled his keys on his index finger, when he heard another voice.

“No, no, no!”

Johnny poked his head from the back of the building to see in the side parking lot, Neva staring at her car. The windows were smashed. The doors and sides had dents that weren’t there before. He was pretty sure something was leaking from under the car.

Johnny glanced over his shoulder at his bike. He still had a spare helmet from when Beth was alive and Ghost made him get one for her.

Johnny rolled his eyes and huffed. He shoved his hands further in his pockets with a pout and slight glare, then walked over to Neva.

“Hey,” he said. Neva jumped at it, turning fast to face him. She quickly brushed the tears and starting to trail mascara and blush from her face with a sniffle.

“It’s too late to call the local mechanics for help,” Johnny mumbled. “And I don’t have any of my tools. So, here.” He held out Beth’s old helmet to Neva. She blinked at it with a confused look. Johnny’s head sunk further into his popped collar. “Come on, don’t make me say it. I’ll give you a lift home and you can figure the car trouble out later.” Neva gently took the helmet, sniffed again and brushed some more tears away. Johnny led her to his motorcycle and buckled up his helmet. Neva clicked hers on.

“Just sit behind me and hold on,” Johnny instructed, sitting on the bike. “I like to go fast. I know the way to your apartment still, from when Beth had us help move you in.” Neva was silent, but climbed on behind Johnny. Her hands wrapped around his stomach as he started up the motorcycle, and drove away from the restaurant.

The drive was silent. Johnny drone fairly fast—he wanted to get her home ASAP and be over with her. As she adjusted her grip, Johnny glanced down at her arms.

From her wrist and a few inches past, were thin scars against her tan skin. Johnny quickly looked away from them and back at the rode. It was deja vu. He remembered driving Beth when she was alive and seeing her scars the first time. This felt all too similar.

At the apartment complex, Johnny parked the bike and followed Neva to her apartment. She shyly brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and never made eye contact with the young man.

“You didn’t have to walk me up here,” Neva turned her key into her door. “I don’t really have any problems with any male neighbors here.”

“Still,” Johnny mumbled. “You’re shaken. I can see it.”

“I’m… I’m not,” Neva sighed, opening the door to her apartment. Johnny shook his head.

“You’re a bad liar.”

Neva froze for a moment. She slowly shook her head, shaking the words off. Johnny could see the boxes he carried in still there.

“You haven’t had time to unpack?” he asked. Neva turned back to look at him.

“Not really,” she murmured. “Uh, you don’t have to stay in the hallway. Here, I’ll give you money to make up for wasting gas to get here.” Johnny adjusted his collar and huffed as he entered.

The plain apartment was barely decorated, brown boxes everywhere in the living room. He saw an ashtray on the coffee table, some dishes in the sink, and a single photo sitting on one of the side tables beside the sofa. It was a younger Neva, and a baby Beth. Presumably, the only moment they had spent together, shortly after she was born and shortly before she’d be sent off to be adopted.

He noticed another photo with Neva, about the same age as the other photo, accompanied by a dog and a man with curly red hair.

Johnny’s face felt hot at seeing it.

As Neva walked past it, without even noticing Johnny, she flipped the photo down against the side table.

“I’ve been too busy with work, applying for other jobs, and trying to spend time with Beth when she gets a day off,” Neva sighed. “And when… you and your dad don’t mind me coming to hang out with her.”

“Well, it would suck if I carried in all your stuff and it just stayed in boxes,” Johnny tapped his boot against one of the boxes. It was a small one labeled as only ‘memories’. “What’s this?”

“Stuff from high school and college,” Neva looked over the counter of the kitchen to see the box, as she counted dollars from one of the drawers. “It’s little things. Kind of random. That’s stuff I want to deal with last.”

“Why?”

“It’s miscellaneous. It’s mainly junk, too. Stuff I took out of storage from my last place but I can’t really sell or throw away.”

“Liiiiike?” Johnny raised a brow, looking down at the box. The flaps were already opened. He lifted his shoe to push one side open.

Neva handed him the money before he could finish.

“Thank you,” Neva murmured. “For everything. From the guys to taking me home. Thank you. You better get home, though. Ghost might be worried if you’re late.”

“Yeah,” Johnny gave a quiet chuckle. “He gets like that. Thanks, for the change. See ya.”

As he headed to the door to leave, he glanced over his shoulder at the photo of Neva and Beth.

He saw Neva staring at the photo she turned upside down and kicking the memories box to the side.