Tumgik
#and my parents are the todflers and i spend all day just like
urbanfiltered · 2 years
Text
can’t breathe
#i am so fucking overwhelmed and depressed jesus!!!!!!!!#i feel like i’m unwraveling i feel like my parents sit at night and scheme to make sure i lose my grip on reality day by day#i can’t fucking breathe#it’s like the millisecond i get off work i do not have one single solitary second to myself#any moment not spent with my parents is such an ultimate sin#it’s making me sick#i feel like a parent in many ways#and my parents are the todflers and i spend all day just like#managing their emotions and planning play dates and playtime activities for them and putting on movies and shit#and i HAVE TO bc if they don’t get enough enrichment time they start getting restless and begin ripping into me instead#better to take my mother shopping for the fifth time this week instead of be her punching bag#im like crying in the bathroom as i type this im like not built to live like this#i lived on the floor of a 1 bedroom apt for 2 months with no privacy whatsoever and then i live here with my parents and#i just spent a whole week couch surfing on my various friends’ couches and it’s like#i just never get to be alone unless i stay up till 3 am which makes my next day so much worse and i just don’t think it’s#long term sustianable#might need to check myself into a psych ward or something#to sit in a solitary confinement room for a few days idk#i might genuinely die if i don’t#i can’t explain what i’m feeling but i think my actual body is breaking down#the sickest thing is all the weight i’ve gained in the past few motnhs making it harder on my body to just do things#like i’m never this heavy and i FEEL IT slowing me down#and my mom will yell at me till the cows come home about my eating habits but i can’t find time to go the gym if i’m constantly sitting#there with them participating in the 10th conversation of the day#i’m a wittle introvert baby i wasn’t meant to handle this#also if i try to leave the house alone they narrow their eyes because ‘going to the gym’ means i must be out there doing every drug#known to man or something#tbh in many ways moving away from each other was harder bc now when i’m around they pay unbearable amounts of attention to me#i can’t sleep anymore idk i wish i was dead a little bit
2 notes · View notes