#and nicola can pull off a woman of penelope age

[dollypopup]

FINE, if no one else is gonna say it. . .

it is WEIRD that we as a fandom are so okay with Debling being a 'serious' option for Penelope. She is a 19 year old woman. She is a third daughter from an unpopular family who has no father. This is a 30 year old man, 40, even, who is pursuing a teenager. All the 'oh, he notices her as a woman!'

and none of us are asking why it is that a seemingly 'perfect' guy is out here going for a woman on the outskirts of her society, who most people do not pay attention to? a powerful man with a lot of money and a title pursuing a woman who is largely unnoticed in her world, in a family without a father, who doesn't have, on the surface, any other options? our fandom doesn't talk about how big of a power imbalance they have between them, or even how Penelope is being styled to look extra young in contrast to him?

she looks like his DAUGHTER. He's even styled to be a more mature man in their society. Compare him to the fashions of younger men. Clean shaven, sleeker lines in their fashion,

He is, in fact, most comparable to Will, who is a married man with three children.

Debling legit looks like he could be her father. That is NOT a 20 year old man. That man is in his 30s at best, and in his 40s at worst. Which gives him and Pen a decade or two of age difference. Add on the fact that he's titled and she's a literal teenager, and it just gives me the MAJOR ick.

People are praising the idea that Debling makes Penelope feel like a 'woman' but as someone who has been a 19 year old woman with much older men interested in me (especially a PLUS SIZE 19 year old woman with older men interested in me) claiming I am oh so mature, it's. . .uh, not usually a GOOD thing?

We'll demonize Colin for being a 22 year old man who doesn't see Penelope as a romantic option because for the grand majority of the time he's known her, she's been a minor, but see absolutely nothing wrong with the idea that the production has given her a suitor who is an outsider of their society, who could take her away wherever if she actually agrees to marry him, and now have this 19 year old woman no one is going to really check on to do with as he so pleases? And we're wanting him to. . .what? Make out with her? Take her virginity? Just the thought of that makes me deeply uncomfortable.

We'll talk about the power imbalance between Colin and Penelope, about how he has experience that she doesn't and how that can cause concern, but absolutely NOTHING about the ACTUALLY CONCERNING power imbalance between her and Debling? Colin is 22 and a third son, he and Penelope have known each other for years, he is safe. He would never take advantage of her or lead her astray, he cares about her as a person and then comes to love her and desire her in ways outside of friendship. Debling has known her for less than a month, is likely in his mid thirties, has a title and money and power, and felt okay with feeling up on her in public in an era when holding HANDS was considered scandalous.

Imma need us to give Monopoly Man more smoke because I am confused as to how he's oh so perfect and yet the option he chose for a wife is an unpopular and financially unstable 19 year old woman who is largely ignored in society. None of us find that weird?

Meanwhile, we have Colin who has, yes, held Penelope's hand and called her by her Christian name, but has also complimented her on things that aren't just her appearance, and who has asked how she's been, and tried to help her, and called her his friend, and wrote her letters, and cared about her, and I reiterate, is much much closer to her in age and can relate to her considerably more.

The whole 'oh, well Penelope should sleep with Debling to give her and Colin more even ground' is CREEPY. Colin slept around with sex workers on his travels because that's the regency appropriate safe and responsible way to explore such things for men of his age and status. He is following examples his brothers, whom he trusts and loves deeply, have set for him. He is not exploiting anyone. He is paying for a service and that service is being provided. And he's an attractive man who is young and respectful, these women are FINE, so don't go pearl clutching over how he's being oh so fetishistic just because he's exploring kink. Penelope doing these things with Debling would be HIM taking advantage of HER, and putting her in a very vulnerable and scary position. If that actually happens, what options does she have? He could say he ruined her and that would be game over for her, she has no other choices or options outside of that. And if it's actually true, she is TRAPPED.

I need this fandom to be so serious here right now. You don't ship Pebling. You ship Penelope being seen as desirable, and COLIN finds Penelope desirable. He will make that very VERY evident. We don't need an almost 40 year old man to pursue her and do nothing but compliment how hot she is and feel up on her in public to do that. He doesn't see her as a person, but Colin does. We should be rooting for one of these men, and it's not the one a lot of us are.