#and now i use a free counselling service for poor people whilst i wait for my latest nhs referral to go through

[vampyr-bite]

i have counselling in 20 mins and let me tell u… i don’t want to go!!!

[courtneybella-blog1]

Education!

Education: Success lows and highs

As a young female writer I want my voice to be heard in different forms i.e. poems, novels, articles, speeches and blogs. I have a university degree in English literature and film studies because I enjoy reading, writing and exploring education. I graduated last winter from London south bank University and the whole experience was overwhelming, emotional and happy at the same time. All my life I have been told I wasn’t good enough by teachers and bullies at school. Recently I have been feeling low moods and depression because once again I don’t feel like I’m good enough because I have tried to get a job but still haven’t succeeded. Applying for jobs and writing cover letters and CVs is the easy part but not being able to get interviews is the hard part. I have been on less than 10 interviews today and I have been rejected from all. I’m either overqualified for reception jobs or underqualified for high paid jobs.

 Interviewer’s tell me I’m too young to work or I’m too nervous or have low confidence within myself and the most popular phrase is I need more experience and perhaps take on voluntary .As a young female in Britain today I feel misplaced everyday walking past the crowds of people rushing and catching a train or bus just to get to work on time. I’m always wondering when will it to be my time to work and gain the skills too. I need to feel like an adult and pay my own bills and purchase my own things instead of signing on at the job centre plus. The job centre makes me feel like I want to throw up every time I go there because the workers there undermine me for having a degree and not being able to get a job fast enough. I start shaking and I feel anxious so my brain shuts off and the room around me gets smaller meanwhile my chest is closing in on me. My work advisor is giving me homework assignments to find work and telling me to come in everyday meanwhile stress kicks in. My stress causes for me to get rashes, boils and my hair starts falling out and all I want to do is scream I cannot even pass the interview in order to get a job

It’s unfair that I studied for many years and still cannot get a decent job in a school, library, university or work for a media company which I’m really passionate about. I feel alienated from society because I barely have any friends and I’m single too. I cannot socialize in the real world without getting out my house and actually meeting new people. I have recently booked an appointment for counselling due to my depression and social anxiety. I don’t know who to talk to or confine in so I need to talk to someone about my failures and past and how it’s effecting my daily life. I spend hours and hours on my laptop everyday looking for work or talking to work agencies who invite me in for registration. I register with them and they promise within 2-3 weeks I will get a job but still no progression. I call and email them but still no reply or sometimes they will reply back and say my CV needs to be tailored more or my references haven’t been processed yet so it’s causes delays. Overall still no luck and now I feel like 2017 is not the year that I will shine. I look at my uni mates on social media via Facebook talking about job promotion and going on holiday and I end up feeling disparaged because I wish I was in the same boat as them. I have realised the world is full of rejection and nothing is easy but we have to keep trying as much as we can until we succeed. 

I feel like due to my dyslexia it stops my brain from functioning properly and during job interviews sometimes I mix up my sentences and I’m not clear either. Honestly being dyslexic does not make you less smart than the 30,000 students in your university. As a dyslexic student some teachers would knock my confidence by telling me I wasn’t intelligent enough to complete my SATs test. From the age of 8 and upwards I was made to feel like the other because of my academic progress being a little bit slower than other students around me who were favoured by teachers. I used to get bullied in primary school which made me less confident than other students. Children at school would be condescending towards me specifically due to my dyscalculia. I felt alone, unworthy and isolated from everyone and now that cold feeling is coming back to me.

I remember teachers often saying your a slow learner its ok or you need to read books that are easier for you to manage. There were times when I felt bullied by the teachers and students which makes everything harder. It feels like your draining in failure and sometimes as a person you are so ashamed of your poor academic performance that you hide it from your own family. Now I’m embarrassed because I’m jobless, penniless and I feel like nobody is willing to give me a chance to even train and employ me. I want other students to know they are not alone in this and that there is a way out. A student can succeed through hard work, determination, dedication and patience. Sometimes you work so hard and you still do not get the prefect result or job but you have to wait on God's right timing and his rewards. Patience is the key to great success and real success. You do not want to end up with money alone it’s important to love what you do because without love your dreams won't feel like you are flying it will feel like you are walking through life.

If you want to dream big and dream huge then it’s important to focus on the positive aspects of life. You do not need the prefect grades to make it in life all you need is knowledge, common sense and wisdom. As you can clearly see this world trains us to study for whole of our lives but at the end of the day by the time we finish with education we do not remember half of the things we learnt and it doesn’t benefit us when we are unemployed either. This world is built for capitalists to control Marxists through slave labour such as working your whole life doing to many hours whilst getting less pay. This is the time where I have realised maybe I might have to pack up soon and leave just to find work in other countries because I cannot possibly be unemployed for another year.

Lastly anyone out there who feels like there failing in school or finding a job isn’t possible right now just don’t give up. Sometimes getting grades isn’t good enough even though it’s an amazing feeling to succeed in school. I remember opening my letter and looking at my GCSE results and being amazed at my wonderful grades to then opening my first sets of A-level results and crying because I didn’t do as well as I was supposed to. Grades does not define who you are! A teacher can only try and determined your life between 9am until 3pm. They do not know you on a regular basis and they do not know your hidden talents.

A work place cannot define your life because they don’t know your knock backs or your personal growth. As a writer I have focused on finding my own voice amongst the billions of writers out there and honestly writing this article makes me feel free knowing someone else will read it and actually take it in like absorbing the sea. If your feeling low right now as a young person trying to find your feet in the world well you are smart, determined, focused and you are a champion do not let anyone rule you. The world is competitive and society teaches us to compete with each other like a race but everyone is running in their own race. We won’t accomplish what everyone else is accomplishing because everyone’s path is different. After all we weren’t all designed to be the same instead we are similar as humans but also different which makes individuals unique.

Don’t let anyone define you just because they believe there beneath you and of course ideology plays a huge part in terms of controlling people. Many successful people in the world have dyslexia or they did poor in school and trust me everyone has their own struggles too. Some people successful entrepreneurs are wealthier than their teachers and school mates who might have possibly put them down. Also remember no job is beneath you so if you find a quiet part time in the library and you are happy with it then smile until something better comes along. If you find yourself working as a receptionist or as a customer service assistant then smile because at least you are growing and building skills as an individual. If you find yourself stressed, overwhelmed and depressed because life isn’t going your way and you cannot find your feet than seek help from work advisors, therapists and anyone who can help and guide you in the right way.

I will not give up on my dreams even though it seems easy to quit too. My own focus right now is to try and apply for my masters whilst trying to find a part time job. I’m even afraid and hesitant to do my masters. Recently people have told me my degree doesn’t mean anything anymore or its doesn’t apply to a job advertisement especially when I apply for recruitment consultant which clearly say, NO EXPERIENCE  but anyone with any degree can apply. I have been turned down my many schools, offices, shops, libraries, media companies. Also even my own university rejected me when I applied for a one year’s paid internship as an engagement student officer.

All I wanted to do was get a job as soon as possible so I can help my mum with the bills and ease some stress off her. I feel guilty for being unemployed and now it’s really starting to affect me. I hope this article makes people realise that the working world is challenging and it’s very hard to get into but we cannot give up. We are the VOICE for the younger generation and it’s time to be heard. We aren’t quite as a mouse but we are roaring loud as a lion. We all need to work in order to earn money and buy a house, car and purchase stuff too and especially when we get married and have children a lot more expenses comes along the way. Lastly I appreciate all of the rejection and knock backs because in five-ten years from now the world will know me as a motivational speaker, writer, film maker and teacher to inspire people of all ages.

[simonloweblog]

Brexit: Seeing the wood from the trees.

Everybody seems to be either bored, angry or perplexed about Brexit; it is easy to comprehend why.The millions of column inches devoted to it on a daily basis have become pretty repetitive. Anger, because neither side seems to be getting its way.Perplexed,because in spite of two years of discussion, argument and negotiation few if any really understand the consequences of the myriad of possible results of leaving the Union on March 29 2019. What we do know is that time is running out and that the position the Government finds itself in, namely unable to please either Remainers or Brexiteers is due to Teresa May losing her majority in last year’s general election. Any negotiation is always partly a game of poker and sadly it appears that the PM is not a good poker player. That said, history has taught us that all negotiations go to the wire and are rarely settled before one minute to midnight. We shall have to wait to see what each side’s final positions are but in the meantime I would like to point out a few facts. • Britain’s exports to the E.U. in 2017 were £274 billion. The E.U.’s exports to the UK were £314 billion. Let’s forget the usual contentious arguments that it will hurt them more than us if we do not agree a trade deal or, it will be a disaster if we do not get a trade deal. Lets assume that we do not and that we will have to pay tariffs on all goods entering the E.U.. For every 1% the cost to Britain would be £2.74 billion. As is the norm, if one country imposes tariffs/import duties on another, the other generally responds in kind (note, the emerging US/China trade “war”). That suggests that Britain would charge £3.14 billion per 1% on all E.U. goods coming into Britain. If tariffs were 5% the UK would collect £15.7 billion and pay out £13.7billion in export tariffs; at 10% it would be £31.4 billion and £27.4 billion respectively. Either way, the UK would earn more than it paid. Whereas all tariff barriers impede trade but far from being a cost to the country, Britain would make a substantial “profit”. • The UK's net contribution to the E.U. last year was £8.6 billion; that equates to 0.42% of GDP (which was £2.02 trillion) which compares to 0.7% of GDP which was spent on foreign aid and 7.5% on the NHS (2016) I conclude that although the net contribution is alot of money it is not in percentage terms of GDP and therefore should never be a major factor in the Brexit argument. • The” Irish question”, is almost entirely a political problem. I doubt whether 27 European countries really care very much about the border question. It is being used as a technical excuse to attempt to force the UK Government to stay in the single market and Custom Union. The Irish government are bluffing. Irish exports to the UK account for 11.8% of their total whereas UK exports to Ireland are just 4.9%.So if there are to be tariffs because of a no deal, it will hurt the Irish a lot more than the British. The Irish Taoiseach and Mr. Barnier are good bluffers but are in reality not holding many aces. For me, sovereignty is the issue; neither Germany, France, Italy, Austria, or Hungary have anything to teach us about Governance, Justice or Democracy As a free trader (I wrote my thesis on the UK joining the EEC back in 1971) I welcome barrier free trade, but Political Union, laws crafted by unaccountable bureaucrats on the Strasburg gravy train and a drive for a common foreign policy and a European army is not for Great Britain especially as increasingly votes in the EU parliament are determined by a majority vote and a country’s veto no longer governs much of European legislation. Long term, that is likely to mean that even if Britain “Remained” it would not be able to control the laws and regulations that govern is own citizens, as so often claimed. The British parliamentary system has produced the best democratic process in the world and has served this country well; we certainly do not need nor pay for European “expertise” to help us govern ourselves. • Remainers constantly accuse Brexiters of wanting to cull immigration. Most politicians on both sides have pledged to reduce immigration, but freedom of movement is one of the four non-negotiable tenets of E.U. policy. Brexiters position is that they want to take back control of UK borders. That means that Britain would have the right to restrict immigration. Interestingly, practically every EU member now wants to restrict immigration albeit at this time only from outside the EU. I doubt it will be too long before EU citizens in Western Europe will want to curtail immigration from Eastern EU countries and that the freedom of movement principle will quietly die a death. • London and the South East dominate Britain’s economy. England has for many years been a one city country. Those who claim there has been a magical revival of Leeds, Manchester and Liverpool basically are either misinformed, misguided or unfamiliar with the stats and actuals of life north of Watford. Since Margaret Thatcher challenged the Unions and along with the general decline of the North’s principal industriesof Steel, Textiles, Shipbuilding, Fisheries and Coal disappeared, prosperity in the Midlands and the North suffered a major decline.Thatcher and her successors have done little to revive it. Southerners always cite the Nissan factory in Sunderland, which is indeed a very successful car plant as demonstrating the revival of the North, but one swallow or even a few swallows do not make a summer. Osborne’s Northern Powerhouse was fuelled with candles not electric lighting. It is the heartland of England that swung the referendum vote to leave and it is the North-South divide that needs fixing and is the area of real division between the “have & the have nots” . • Many of the cognoscenti and intellectuals (including one of Britain's most famous journalists and a former top Diplomat) tell me that we will lose influence in the world if we leave the E.U.; that Britain is one of only four Tier One military powers in the World; that five of the world’s top Universities are British and that Britain is in the top ten in the world for soft power. My response is that Germany is not a Tier One military power nor a permanent member of the Security Counsel and that does not seem to have dented its economic well being which is the measure that most citizens treasure. Neither Germany nor France have one university ranked in the top 30 in the world whilst countries including Canada, Switzerland Australia and the Netherlands are in the top ten (see Portland Communications and USC Center on Public Diplomacy) “soft power” table without being members of the E.U. • I maintain that citizens are more concerned with the fact that cancer survival rates in the UK lag behind most developed 1st world countries. Simply put too many people are dieing in the UK because they can’t get to see a specialist before it is too late. Whereas we can boast that Oxford University is no. 1, our general standards of school education are constantly criticized by industry who can’t hire school leavers because their basic standard of Maths and English are so poor. According to the OECD(last report in 2013) Britain lags behind Vietnam, Poland and Estonia and in Maths is ranked 27th in the world! • My friends concern is that outside the E.U. Britain’s role in the world will be diminished. I say that a Government’s principle objectives must beto provide security, a good education, the best healthcare available and ensure that each citizen can enjoy good housing and living conditions. Seats at the Security counsel do not produce those anddo not distract other governments from the task of doing better for their people than the British government manage in spite of being ithe Sixth largest economy in the world There are other pressing objectives such as the ageing, decaying infrastructure and opelessly over-burdened, inefficient, over expensive transport system that results in massive productivity losses due to the increasing amount of time wasted in getting to and from work. Economists are obsessed with productivity figures. The unaffordability of decent housing in London and the South East is a major cause of low productivity. Today, house ownership stands at 63% (survey from the DCLG) which is the lowest level in 30 years. In short, the economy needs to be rebalanced, and if leaving the E.U. means that some bankers and financial institutions leave, well so be it; yes it will cause some loss of taxation and even prestige, but the country’s overdependence on financial services is not healthy. In Noah Tahiri’s book “Homo Deus” (a brief history of tomorrow) he contends that historically the State sought allegiance and sacrifice from its citizens and whereas many States have “Liberty and the right to the pursuit of happiness” in their constitutions, they have done little to promote Happiness forthe individual; only Bhuttan and the UAE have a “Minister of Happiness”. In conclusion it is high time that Britain’s leaders pay heed to the real issues that British citizens are really concerned about and see the “ wood from the trees”