#and now if my pcr also comes back negative im going to feel bad

[i-like-gay-books]

my boss just made me feel like shit for isolating while waiting for my pcr test because fridays are busy or whatever and what the hell??

[pepprs]

i normally don’t post abt my life in like… THIS much detail but today was so fucking insane i feel compelled to document and share it so here we go:

finished my stupid history rough draft at like 1:30am

woke up ridiculously early to get a covid test after saying up an additional 2 hrs basically bc i am stupid.

spent 2 hrs doing working on my presentation and actually finishing it at the expense of one hour of my shift????

got a new chair. and also my ******** bars finally 🥰

ran into my dad and my brother on my way to the office, walked w my brother (🥺) and introduced him to my supervisor (🥺)

ate FOUR rolled taqitos my supervisor offered me bc he accidentally bought an extra pack forgetting abt the break and my stomach was growling obnoxiously loud LMAO. i love one (1) man

passed like 2 ppl i used to be close with on my way to class???? one of my best friends from childhood and one of my hs friends a few grades younger than me. why is everyone important in my life connected to this school in some way it’s absolutely insane

pep talked my brother before his date-that-was-not-a-date-but-was-kinda-a-date (which i encouraged him to make happen lol) over text while having my first actual in depth conversation w the guy who sits next to me in theater class 😳 he is very nice i am thinking just a teeny tiny bit

did my presentation but i was soooo nervous and my voice was wobbling uncontrollably and i was shaking so bad and everyone could see and they kept interrupting me to say encouraging things and to tell me to take deep breaths… embarrassing. i kinda bombed but it’s whatever

scrambled out of class to pick up two vegan brownies my Prof brought me bc his daughter never ended up making me cookies, then scrambled back to the classroom bc i lost a glove (still haven’t found it lol whppps), then scrambled back to the apartment. all of these are extremely far away from each other and i am very small and have a heavy backpack and i literally unironically thought i was about to have a heart attack like i almost fainted and my heart actually hurt. horrible

ate a vegan brownie. aka THE best thing i have ever consumed in my entire fucki ng life.

scrambled to clean my disgustingly messy room and pack everything while having an actual conversation w one of my roommates 😳

came to terms with the fact that i wasn’t gonna be able to finish cleaning and packing in time for my dad to get me and my brother so i texted my family and we determined im coming home tmrrw instead LMAO

got negative covid pcr results

realized that i accidentally had my mask off around my roommate while we were talking, told my mom and she got pissed at me

meanwhile i headed to the main part of campus to hang out w my brother after his date and he told me all abt it and it was so 🥺😭🥰🥺😭🥰🥺😭🥰🥺😭🥰like i genuinely think today is the first time we’ve ever hung out outside of the context of home and i love him so fucking much he is like the most important person ever in the world to me actually

got yelled at by my mom who decided i need to get pcr tested AGAIN tmrrw morning bc i had my mask off around my roommate for maybe all of 3 minutes. so i had to call the covid testing site two times to make sure they can do it even tho it’s thanksgiving and now i have made my parents mad at me and burdened by me once again LOL

hung out in the office and had a deep convo w my supervisor while silently processing the fact that i made my parents mad at me and burdened by me once again. (also i gave him my 2nd brownie as a thank you for the rolled taquitos and also for being him in general bc… 🥺)

discovered during this conversation that all of the campus eateries are closed for thanksgiving break so i missed my chance to get bagels and sushi and i won’t be able to get them again tomorrow when im here all day unexpectedly. FUCK!

vividly intensely relived the moment i left the office for br*ghton and said goodbye to all my [redacted university name] People as my supervisor and i were leaving the office and saying goodbye to each other. lawl

cried abt it while walking back to my apartment

cried abt it to my counselor. the first time i have EVER cried during a therapy session!!!! and the first time ive seen her in like 3 weeks lol. it was such a good session and i felt so much better after and she was proud of me for crying. and we talked abt my future sp*use and k*ds 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🤩🤯🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

got my favorite meal from my favorite local restaurant that i haven’t been to since before i went to br*ghton delivered to me thru gr*bhub (!!!!) which involved basically walking halfway across campus alone in the dark bc the driver had no idea where to meet me but it was ok and he was rly nice 🥺

ate said food (called the giving thanks bowl 😭😭😭😭😭) while listening to marigold by pinegrove (THE quintessential br*ghton album) to comfort myself abt how thanksgiving break is only 5 days and im not actually leaving for good lawllll

called my BELOVED bestie brandon gigagasp for the first time since i moved ere and got to hang out w him and his new cat and see art from him and his students 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 but i got very sleepy and had to hang up earlier than expected but next time we hang out we are going to get food from said favorite restaurant i SWEAR IT

now im lying in bed unusually early waiting to fall asleep but i can’t bc im hungry and i basically have no food here (bc i thought it would be stupid to order groceries for only 2 days but i would’ve if id known id be here for 3) whi bc h means i have to Grubhub stuff and i am gonna try to order more brownies from the restaurant my prof bought them from but idk if i can bc of thanksgiving…. i need to grubhub something i think like i literaly am out of t everything😭😭😭😭😭 oh the grubs you can hub. but i probably should just like make pasta and eatmy ******** bars but wfpbsosfree (🥴) food has no flavor to me anymore bc i am a rebel so i don’t want to lawllll

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 31 - All members of this band caught Covid-19.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression.

Joe san, Tasai san, welcome. So, today, we have a guest. Please introduce yourself.

Y: Nice to meet you, Im YG, the bassist of Jack Caper.

J: Wow, thats an impressive...

K: He stands out, right? I think everyone took notice as soon as he appeared on screen.

J: Right, he looks different from anyone else.

K: Yeh, like 'Eh?!'. Well to begin with, the headcount is different .

J: Yeh, its different. The extra one is this head.

T: *To Y* Have you always had this haircut?

Y: Yeh, well, since summer started. I decided on it this summer.

J: Why that hairstyle again?

Y: Well, I wanted it to feel cool (*as in breezy*)

Kami: It does look cool, right?

J: Hahaha.

K: He said it does look cool, haha.

J: It got a reaction from Kami. He said it looks cool.

Kami: Ah, Im Kami-sama. Pleased to meet you.

Y: Pleased to meet you Kami-sama.

J: He's not a very impressive god.

K: Yeh, exactly. haha.

J: He's one of the lower ones.

Kami: Im really not such an impressive god. I really can't do anything.

J: He gets ¥1000 p/h 

K: Ok, so as to why he is joining us today, his whole band caught coronavirus. So, I thought we could talk about what it was like.

J: This will be a valuable testimony.

Kami: Its a world first, right?

Y: Yeah, its the first case in the world of the whole band catching it.

J: Unbelievable, its not like you could apply to Guiness, but...

K: Yeah, this won't be a Guiness record, haha.

Y: I'll be happy if its recoded as ???*1

J: So how did you all catch it?

Y: Well, its not exactly clear, but it started with our vocalist, and we think that was probably from within a live venue somewhere. And after the vocalist, the other members were tested one after the other, and we were all positive. So we all recieved treatment.

T: Was this in August?

Y: Yeh, August, the vocalist first displayed symptoms on the 13th. And one by one the other members did after that. I was the last, I got symptoms on the 16th.

J: I also know some people who have been infected.

K: I was shocked, right? haha

J: No, not me! A few people I know...but I've forgotten what they said about it, so, could you tell us what happens after you test positive?

Y:  So, you get a positive result, and then in my case, I was hospitalised.

J: Oh, hospitalisation?

Y: Yeh. Well, its probably different depending on the district..districts with free hospital space, or districts with free hotel space. I think there are even districts with no hospital or hotel space free. But I was just straightforwardly hospitalised, within the same day.

T: So, did you have a fever or a cough or anything?

Y: In my case, I had a cough first, and I developed a fever of 38.3℃ on the same day I was tested, just after i did the test. I got the positive test results two days later, and was hospitalised with those symptoms.

J: In what way was it different from a regular cold? What was hard about it?

Y: Well, it was mainly like influenza...high fever, cough, weariness...Also, its often said that you experience loss of taste. I didn't have that, but the other members did.

T: Like loss of smell or taste?

Y: Yeh

K: But you get that a bit anyway when you catch a regular cold, right?

J: Well, yeah, you do. And if you get a fever, you  can't move around much anyway, but.. all the members had this?

Y: Yeah.

J: What was it like in hospital?

Y: Well, in my case, I was in a room with one other patient. We weren't allowed to leave the room, except for shower and toilet.

T: Did you speak much to the other patient?

Y: We didn't speak at all!

J: Was it another corona patient?

Y: Yeh, his symptoms appeared so.

J: Ehh, no conversation?

T: Wasn't it tough?

Y: Well, honestly, I was only thinking about how I wanted to go home. That was pretty tough...the stress..

Kami: How many of you were hospitalised?'

Y: My symptoms were kinda moderate..

Kami: No, no, how many of you?

Y: Out of us five, only I was hospitalised.

J: Only you in hospital?

Y: Yeah.

J: Were the other members in hotels?

Y: Um, two were in hotels and two were at home.

J: So, how did you end up getting discharged?

Y: As for the flow, I had a PCR test every two days in hospital, and after I got two negative results in a row, I left hospital.

J: So its like, if the tests are fine, they say, 'Ok you are free to go'? You didn't have to do anything after that?

Y: Not really, no. They just requested me not to be in close contact with people for two weeks.

J: Just 'requested'?

Y: Yeah, nothing stricter than that from the hospital.

Kami: Eh? After leaving hospital?

Y: Yeh, after being discharged.

Kami: Eh? Even after two negative tests you were told not to have close contact with people?

Y: Yeah, just in case. But as for work, I could restart as long as I kept to this advice.

Kami: You could restart work? As soon as you were discharged?

Y: Yeh, they said that was ok.

Kami: But they asked you not to come into contact with people?

Y: Yeah, they said to limit direct contact with people.

Kami: That seems pretty difficult.

J: Yeh, it does. It would have been easier if they just told you don't meet people.

Kami: After getting a negative test result, and being told you can restart work, you can't be in close contact with people? It seems pretty difficult to understand.

Y: I think they meant like normal situations, like this...like, don't stand near people to talk to them and stuff. Or, refrain from going out to eat with peope, and stuff.

T: How long were you hospitalised for?

Y: 14 days in total.

K: Ahh, two weeks, thats tough.

T: How did you feel when you were given the all clear to leave?

Y: It sounds funny to say, but it was like coming out of jail. Like, 'Back to reality!'

K: Were you charged hospitalization fees?

Y: Not for the first ten days after symptoms appear, but I had to pay after that.

J: So out of 14 days, you had to pay for 4 days yourself?

Y: Well, I was hospitalised a few days after my symptoms began, so I paid for the last 7 days.

J: It seems kind of a unsatisfactory, if you are forced into hospitalization.

K: Well, isn't it the same with any illness?

J: Well, yeah.

K: Like, it can't be helped.

J: Well, yeh, if you are hospitalized with a cold you'd have to pay. Have you had any lingering symptoms?

Y: Out of all five, there is still one of us with no sense of smell.

T: Even after a month?

Y: Yeah, still one with no smell.

K: Thats pretty scary.

Y: I asked just now on Line, and he said he still couldn't smell.

J: Not at all?

Y: Like, recently we all tried smelling our drinks, and he was the only one who couldn't.

J: Are there any parts of it that you were dissatisfied with, or any parts that you thought were handled really well?

Y: Like, inside the hospital?

J: Yeh. Its probably ok for you to summarize what its like in Tokyo, right? Which area were you in?

Y: Arakawa ward.

J: Is there anything you thought they could have done better?

Y: I was grateful that the process leading up to hospitalization was so smooth. They sent a car to my house and stuff. They were really prioritizing me staying away from other people.  And even in the hospital, the nurses and doctors really looked after me.

J: Conversely, was there anything troubling about it?

Y: Yeh, some people were being discharged before they had two negative test results. The government covers the fees for the first ten days as I said, and you have to stay in hospital for at least that time, but after that staying is optional. I stayed and paid for it, even though it was optional. I think it would be better if the state paid for it until a negative test result happens.

J: So there was quite a lot of people leaving before they had a negative test result, for financial reasons, right?

Y: Yeah, for financial reasons.

J: So, that might end up being a reason why the virus spreads more.

Y: It might be, yeh.

J: That kinda leaves a bad taste...

Kami: How much did you pay in fees?

Y: For me it was ¥30,000 per day.

J, T: Eh!?

Y: Thats with insurance.

T, J: ¥30,000 with insurance?

Kami: So, how much did you actually pay?

Y: After that, I got the bill, and it was less than that, so I was relieved.

T: Ah, you paid for seven days?

Y: Yeh. So in total...at first they said it would be ¥30,000 per day, but I got the bill afterwards, and it was about ¥155000.

J: Oh, not bad, right?

Y: Yeah, its not bad.

Kami: So you paid ¥150,000? Im struggling to understand, could you explain again?

J: He likes talking about money, haha.

Kami: How much did you pay?

Y: I paid ¥150,000, actually ¥155,000.

J: Thats with insurance, right?

Kami: Out of pocket?

Y: With insurance, yeh.

Kami: And how many days was that for?

Y: Umm, seven days.

Kami: I though it was only from after ten days?

K: Ten days from the start of symptoms. After that it costs you.

Kami: Oh, is that it? So you paid for seven days.

Y: Yes, I paid for the optional longer stay.

K: This was already explained earlier.

J, T: Hahaha.

K: It was, right?

Kami: Eeehhh?

T: There should be some way to get it back in taxes, it may be a good idea to check.

Y: Thats what I'll have to sort out from now.

J: I think this is a problem. It sounds strange to say it, but in terms of income, low earners have a higher chance of being infected than higher earners. Naturally, rich people won't be getting on packed trains everyday, they will be going to crowded places far less, it some how ends up like that. But if you pass that ten days, and have to pay out of pocket, there will be people who can't. Its like, how is this gonna go? There will be people who don't have the money, and just decide to go home.

K: Yeah, there will be.

T: When corona first started it had this image that it was life threatening, right? But once people actually catch it, their impression might change to it not being that bad. What did you think?

Y: Yeah, when I caught it, I thought it wasn't as bad as I expected.

※On screen note: Symptoms differ depending on the person※

Y: It was like influenza.

J: What kind of reactions did you get from people around you? Were they worried about you? Or were they trying to stigmatize you?

Y: There were both. I had some messages from people in my home town who I barely spoke to before asking me if I was ok, and some derogatory messages from people I don't know.

K: Well, the way the media has dealt with this issue from the start, had been to blame people going out drinking, or enjoying entertainment, thats the image. Its not the case all of the time. But you think you picked it up from a live  event or something?

Y: Yeah.

K: So live shows have that kind of image too. But we don't really know where its originally coming from.

J: Well, as long as infections keep rising, we won't be able to trace it in real detail. Have you had any detailed explanation about that?

Y: I just had a phone call after our vocalist tested positive. The members were then recommended to get tested, and arrangments were made for that.

J: Were you asked about your recent activity?

Y: Yeh, what I did on which day etc. And my temperature at the time.

J: I see. So, at the moment they are saying you will have anti-bodies if you've caught it once, but there have also been reports that the anti-bodies might not last very long. What do you think about that? Have you had an anti-body test?

Y: About a month after all of us got symptoms  and when we were all close to total recovery, we had the opportunity to do a broadcast, and we all did an antibody test at that time.

J: And the results?

Y: The results were that one of us didn't have a lot of antibodies, but the other four did. That was about August 16th *2

J: So its been about three weeks since then. Are you gonna continue to have antibody tests from time to time?

Y: Well, I don't have plans to at the moment, but its a good idea.

T: What kind of talks have you had about how to contine band activity?

Y: Well, forward looking, focusing on putting out material. We've already re-started live shows, so we'll be putting our energy into that.

K: Oh, you've started lives?

Y: Yeah.

K: Well, if your band has antibodies, its easier to move.

Y: Yeah, its safer.

J: Now is the safest time.

K: Right.

J: In relation to corona, its the safest time.

K: People who have antibodies could all do a live?

Y: Ah, us too. Thats interesting.

K: ???? *3

J: But infection numbers are culminating in Japan, so if you think about it, its kinda of the reverse idea.

K: Hm, but if you really think about it, the numbers are still small.

J: How about that? As a band, do you wanna try it?

Y: Yeah, I do. If it was a success, it might help return the music scene to normal.

K: Well, we have to keep moving, little by little, otherwise nothing will start.

J: Yeh, thats it.

K: If we don't try, we too will be always waiting. If there's any chance to get moving, I want to take it. So if these guys can get moving even a little, I can kinda begin to see the light. So, do your best.

T: It puts out a good message, right?

K: Yeah. Ok, well, lets end here. Thank you very much for today.

Y: Thank you.

K: Please subscribe.

T: And check out Jack Caper!

*2 Dates right??

*1, 3 Couldn't catch