#and ofc hed blame himself for it

[justanotheryellowsoul]

Oh. Oh.

Siffrin isn't just missing the trap switch or keys because they suck at their assigned job. He doesn't. Or at least- didn't.

They miss them because they only have one eye now. Siffrin has bad depth perception. He can't tell if a space in a drawer or book is a bit bigger than it's supposed to be. They can't tell if something is sitting oddly-

He keeps hitting that one table, because he clearly hasn't adjusted to the new depth perception. It's not their fault.

It was never their fault.

[crazylittlejester]

After reading your last fic… i cant help but wonder… HYPOTHETICALLY, what would happen to Sidney if Wars did die? And vise versa? Asking for scientific purposes-

Technically it’s not really a hypothetical because eventually, one day, those two will grow old and pass and War does go first (As much as i like killing him in goofy ways for side stories, canonically for MY version of War he dies peacefully)

but because i assume you asked for extreme angst reasons asdkdkjd, we’ll say hypothetically War dies tomorrow at age almost 28 suddenly and very tragically (for scientific reasons ofc):

Sidney would not take it well at all. Yes he loves War romantically, but War is also his best friend and Sidney doesn’t really have many others except for Linkle, who started hanging out with him in the first place because she wanted to make sure he would be good to her brother and then they genuinely became friends. But yknow, if War dies it would be really hard for Sidney to be around someone who has his face, and he’d probably need some space from Linkle (she is War’s identical twin). Losing War would genuinely be something he wouldn’t be able to recover from, since he’s lost literally everyone else too, and that would be the thing that kills the life in his eyes. Part of him dies with War. He wouldn’t be as smiley or seem as happy, he wouldn’t be MEAN or lose any of his kindness, he’d just be a lot quieter and keep to himself until the gods take him too. He’d be lonely again, surrounded by a heavy silence, and he’d absolutely drown in it. He wouldn’t try to STOP himself from drowning in it

There’s no scenario in which War loses Sidney where he DOESNT blame himself because no matter how he dies War will always be thinking there was something he could have done to prevent it, and losing Sidney would destroy him. Sidney was such a crucial part in him building himself back up from rock bottom, if he were to die and leave War alone some of the foundational stones his mental health was pieced back together on would crumble into dust. He wouldn’t fall apart completely, but he would not be the same again. He can’t lose Sidney and then have to part way with the chain and all his brothers too, thats too much for him, that’s too big of a loss for him to handle. maybe after a decade or so goes by he might be able to regain some feeling of normalcy, but hed still carry that grief around forever

neither one of them would be able to or be willing to find someone else

[phantomtied]

I need to one day when i’m better organized do more past threads with these boys either during forces or before then cause I want people to meet zero n co before..happy pups..and infinite was a whole nother level I have a need

[veintrry]

I'm ngl to you, if fatui!scaramouche could fly as he does now and you did something to like wound him in any way, (most likely unintentionally) he'd suggest you two spend time together, and go on a stroll. he says he wants you to see the amazing views so he picks you up, floating high into the air, getting a good view of the land and then you feel the support on your back and legs just, disappear. he dropped you. that snarky son of a bitch dropped you, on purpose. ofc he does catch you, he still likes you. "Don't blame me for your irresponsibility." ridding himself of all blame, or, "Oops. Sorry, It appears my hand slipped." WITH THE MOST FUCKING COY LOOK AND THEN IT JUST TURNS INTO A SHIT EATING GRIN THERE ISBUT GOD I FEEL LIKE HED TOY W U SM LIKE THIS.

"Maybe if you don't want to fall and die you shouldn't be so careless." this is backhanded, cause I can see him being upset over someone else touching you in any way

"Just hold onto me tighter. No need to be shy now." the reason he wants you to cling onto him would probably be a kind of way to prove to himself that you need him, that you are reliant on him. "You've never had trouble pleading for my touch, why the hesitance now?"

[2ynjns]

enhypen's s/o babying them headcanon

pairings: ot7 x gn!reader

word count:

notes: fluff! profanity..

request states “enhypen reaction to their s/o babying them"

heeseung

confused

huh (•ิ_•ิ)?

flustered

what

"heeddeungie~ come here my litol baby!"

you run towards him and hugs him

dont lie heeseung we know you like it stop acting up

"did-- did you just call me--"

"you don't like it?" (╯︵╰,)

"no no! i do like it!"

next think you know he's smiling like a idiot

he likes it

no

he LOVES IT

he lays on your chest and you start rubbing and playing with his hair and whisper sweet nothings

MF IS GIGGLY AF JJRFJFBHFCBFH

im going crazy

he loves you for that

his guilty pleasure is being babied

jay

hear me out

he doesnt hate it

he actually do like it

but you do too much

you alWAYS BABY HIM inFRONT OF THE MEMBERS

"did my baby had a bad day? ⊂(･ω･*⊂)"

you waddles towards him and pats his head and cups his face

"hey uhm,,, not in front of the members...."

(｡•́︿•̀｡) "i thought you like being babied?"

leans towards you

"yes, i do but.. not in front of the members..."

he comes of as that more domestic, cool boyfriend in public

but a little prick in private jdfbfhbhdf

moments later when youre alone, you still feel a little sad that jay is ashamed of getting babied in front of the members

so youre sitting at the corner with your phone

jay slides towards you and puts your hard on his cheeks

"can you... baby me now... sorry for how i acted earlier..."

jake

another giggly mf

"jakey~~~"

GIGGLES

SO MANY GIGGLES

he's cute how can you even blame him

loves back rubs

you would hug him, or sit next to him he expects back rubs

whether its rubs or just circles, he loves it

shamelessly ashamed

doesnt mind being babied in front of members AS LONG AS the members does not tease him

"okay you little shits, if i hear any of you making fun of how i baby jake, yall are gonna meet my fist, respectfully" ((╬◣﹏◢))

so the members dont say anything

dont worry you mean it but they're used to with you.

loves when you cuddle him

NAURRR

imagine big spooning jake

im devastated </3

sunghoon

another in denial boy

stays quiet

would let you do your thing and baby him

slight smile outside

GIGGLY INSIDE

GIGGLY 2.0

his favorite thing you do is the way you look at him and the way you compliment him

"youre improving so much!"

"youre stage presence was good to begin with, but today was extravagant!"

"your visuals... i love you so much."

one time you just couldnt hold it in

you squished his cheeks

in front of

the members

and the staffs

AND

SUNGHOON (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

MF GOT SO SMILEY AND GIGGLY HE WENT TOMATO RED

so cute </3

still denial of it

sunoo

the shameless mf

you dont baby him

HE ASKS YOU TO BABY HIM

"aaaaannnggg~ just pat my head please!"

"im craving for attention."

"i want affection"

"hug me"

"if you don't look at me right now my cheeks are gonna be sad."

STOP IT SUNOO

WE WOULDNT BE ABLE TO RESIST AND THE NEXT THING U KNOW YOUR CHEEKS DEFLATES

anyways

"sunoo stop it, im busy"

but once you baby him, he gets genuinely happy

his love language is quality time and to him a way to express love is by actually interacting and affection

so he loves if so much

"you wuv me right" (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ ‥…━━━★

"sigh,,, yes my ddeonu i wuv you bery much."

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

jungwon

confused 2.0

he likes it too

goes along with your antics

you would pull him toward you and he would lay on your lap by himself

and sleeps

hed let you squish his cheeks

or bite him (not in a mean/nasty way) (i mean lik ethe cute way)

shameless too

he doesnt mind if the members see

to him, theres nothing to be ashamed of because if thats what you like to do, then hell lets you

plus he likes it too duh

"wonie, say ah~"

opens his mouth and takes a big bite of onigiri you made

"is it good??"

*nom nom nom*

"yeth"

"good job!!"

*kisses*

∑(O_O;)

ni-ki

the "uhm wtf?" reactor

JNJFNJFN SORRY

he doesnt like it

but doesnt hate it

like jungwon would let you do your thing

and would take a little effort to get used to

ofc you wouldnt do it excessively, you would do it if you want to and theres a good time and place to actually baby him

he thinks

"hmmm... not actually bad to get babied"

once you baby him

he wants you to baby him from time to time if youre alone

and you give him it because why wouldnt you baby niki come one now

"i saw you accidentally twist your ankle while dancing, do you want me to massage it?"

*puppy eyes* "yes please..."

"tsk, i dont want my baby to get hurt again. i know you stretch and warm up before dancing but warm up sufficiently."

"okay :)"

one time

ONE TIME HE ASKED FOR A KISS ON THE CHEEKS

[rest]

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Spoilers

What an end. From the start to finish it felt like a fever dream. It was like being hugged but getting tighter until you feel suffocation then slowly eases off. That's what I felt like reading it haha. Despite everything, those moments with gyu and oc were cute. "I want to give you something more meaningful to cheer you up." He always has but seeing his end was in a way, her saving tyun. As much as it pained her she's glad someone innocent didn't get killed.

Even if she was still present her life would still feel like hell. People already disliked her and life would be harder. A part of me knew she would have to kill him but at the same time I thought she wouldn't be able too. Seeing the hate she kept getting, her position seen as just a whore, watching Kai'd state, the nightmares.. just became overwhelming feeling like hell already. And she was pregnant too :( I felt bad. That took huge guts to do, but then her also getting hit was such a gyu thing to do. I remember saying before he would also be selfish in death and he really was. He made sure they both had the same end.

With everything happening she still finds comfort only in gyu the only one who she thinks gets her well. I still felt hurt because as much as oc is an issue too, she didn't no any better. She always had gyu on her side since young, grew with him, loved him. He moulded her the way she is. Even if she was to realise its still to late the damage has already been done and its been done since her upbringing. That's all she knew her whole life to be loved like this. Sometimes I wonder how different her life would be if she first came across Tyun and wonder if he would ever show his love fully. Makes me think of the scene of him seeing her for the first time as kids, wonder if she kept seeing and playing with him, falling in love eventually in a healthy way. I know gyu wouldn't have allowed that but just thoughts. her life would be different if gyu never poisoned her mind in the first place.

The dream scene was so good. I liked how Tyun expressed himself through this atleast bc after all she ruined his life. He has a right to feel angry and upset. He's so hot when hed possessive so this scene really gave justice eventho in reality he's cold but whatever 😭 its still nice to see. The anger was too good and real mean. Loved the switch up near the end when his face changed completely looking bruised up and saying she killed him. That's the sight she would have for the rest of her life if it happened. I liked how the necklace he put on was yet another way of indicating she's a reason for this. Since he always said she left him for these flashy things, materials. Maybe a sign of his anger too. She couldn't have lived with guilt like this. It was slow but brutal for her to go through and do what was right.

As much as i hate gyu, I still felt bad when he got stabbed. He's insane for trying to comfort her despite that but then shocks everyone when he does the same back to her. Then again that's how he always was. No matter what, he showed his love to her which was always selfish. He was devoted for his means at all times even the end. When he said "I'd get it right in the next life" I thought damn give oc a break already 😂 she's too tired of this shit!

"I can't even win against his corpse?" I dont blame him to feel annoyed but at the same time oc did save him. She doesn't know how its like to exist without Gyu's love its all she knew. A part of me thought Tyun would say something but ofc he didn't. I felt bad for her bc she always just wanted to be loved:(  just goes to show how he would never say his feelings. Ofc she would go to Gyu because he's always shown her, something tyun could never do.

The scene where oc sings for him a lullaby for him to fall asleep, even til the end she stayed stuck with him coddled just like that, both sleeping together forever.

But damn. What a story. Phenomenal writer, storyline was so intriguing and I loved how you wrote each characters in their ways. You showed the toxicity perfectly, how selfish one could get. It was a huge battle but I can't believe its the end 💔 I honestly cried at the last parts because it was so emotional to read. Even tho this was their fate I still feel hurt 😔 I loved how you wrote it bc it still felt unexpected if you know what I mean? I know you said it felt cliche but I still very much loved it all through. You know how to keep readers hooked and anticipate every move. This is hands down the best story I've encountered and felt myself invested on. The smuts were always so amazing 👏 I love when she's mean with Gyu and takes charge through that. I'm happy for Tyun to be alive since he got dragged in to their mess. But its upsetting to see it all unfold. I felt very bad for oc, each chapter her character developed more and she felt helpless. I definitely will miss gyu and her little moments together even when its something little and sweet to them fucking. I can't believe this is finished:( I will miss reading them so much. Thank you for writing stories that can touch and make us feel every emotion because I definitely felt everything til the end 🥺💙 (sorry for the long message)

that's a perfect description for it especially from oc's pov as she gets progressively trapped by gyu. i'll die on this hill but i loved oc's and gyu's cute moments. and their sad moments. and their ugly moments. i just loved them 😭

honestly oc wouldn't have survived long after gyu's death. not just because she would've killed herself but because she would've needed to be executed for killing the literal king in front of everyone. they would've just kept her alive long enough to deliver her baby before executing her and she would've lived in agony all that time, having lost gyu and then having her child ripped away from her as she gets carried to her death

and yes you were spot on. gyu would never have let oc go ever again. he controlled her so completely that even as he killed her, she only sought comfort from him.

honestly even if gyu didn't interfere, tyun wouldn't have been able to befriend oc as his father would have prevented it. but it's nice to imagine little oc helping little tyun out of his shell. if he could have had that one true friend, maybe he wouldn't have grown to be so cold

glad you like the switch up. i was afraid people would be too grossed out by it. but yeah the dream/nightmare, the necklace, seeing tyun irl looking almost dead... it all pushed her to do what she did. besides ofc she's always had doubts about the situation which gyu kept pushing down but seeing tyun like that just made it all explode the way a piece of foam would shoot up out of the water all the more forcefully the harder you try to push it down. am i making any sense?

lol yeah gyu knew in that moment that he was going to die so he had to think quick. there would be no use yelling at her. he had one goal in his life and that is to always have her by his side and damn it he was not going to let something as pesky as death stop him.

tyun and oc are both set in their ways and i know most of you like to think that he would've changed for her but i'm not so sure about that. yes he changed a little bit but that was just initially. how many relationships have you heard of where people change for a small period of time before reverting back to their old ways? that last action from both of them was a nod to that.

i wish miss them all too. i have loved this story and its characters for almost a year now and it's definitely hard to let go but i'm just so happy to have met all of you through this and so lucky that you all were as invested as i was in the fic.

never apologise for a long message. it's my favorite kind of message. thank you so so much and i love you ❤️

[1haseulie-remaking]

Not to be that bitch but..I really hope hwalls doing okay. I saw a lot of pics from his graduation and idk..I feel like fansites shouldve...not done that. Like he definitely didnt look happy like normal. He didnt look especially sad either, but I just feel like it was obvious he was trying to maintain an image. That made me so sad like bruh..his father just died and yall wanna shove a camera in his face on his graduation? That's kinda messed up. Like idk we should give him space. I doubt it was a happy day for him. Hes normally very smiley and expressive but in those pics he just looked...placid and somber. It was really sad to me bc he isnt like this, hes obviously very affected.

I just rlly hope hes coping well and that after this he wont appear in public for a bit. I mean ofc his members are supportive, they're all close and haknyeon has gone through smth Very Similar so I'm sure he has support but still. Staying out of public eye for a bit would probably do him well. Idk I have the feeling hed really beat himself up rn for being an idol and not spending more time with his father before he passed. You dont get those moments back. I'm sure his family qouldnt blame him, but tbh if that was me, I'd blame myself for not being there enough. Like if I didnt sick my sock relatives bc of work and then they died without me seeing them much in their last days..I'd resent my job so much. Being an idol is time consuming and honestly might not be worth it in these situations. Anyways I just rlly love hwall and I wished that more fansites actually cared and weren't gonna take photos when hes obviously not in a good place, thank u.

[galimatios]

fear thy fortune chatlog notes

thinking abt the underdeveloped au i have in that weird off color fantasy universe that i realized is probably similar in ways to bloodborne even before i knew abt bloodbornes plot but this is nice bc i can solidify parts of it and i can probably also combine it with the knights au i have

OK I FORGOT TO PUT A CW HERE BUT CW FOR ABUSE MENT AND GORE MENT

somewhere located in present day west asia slash east europe theres a country divided into numerous states in which princes and princesses (princex (poc)/princen/etc for gender neutral options) are perpetually in contest with eachother for the right to be the divine ruler of the country

monarchy is not guided by blood, rather the church is responsible for finding the chosen candidates via prophecy, fururesight, dream interpretation, etc, and these kids are taken from their homes and reared as royalty the nature of this country is ... severe. pain is a gift, proof that one is alive. much ceremony is based in sacrifice, bloodspill, bloodsports, and pain endurance. magic as practiced by the church is extremely powerful in terms of healing so almost all wounds can be healed provided the heart still beats its essentially one big huge freakish cult of a country that has customs that seem barbaric to outsiders

the divine ruler of each state is the princens, though more often than not their councils do most of the governing with the princen merely being a puppet figurehead. they go through rigorous training to sharpen their minds and endurance against all types of pain, so training includes physical, mental, emotional trials in which the princen is supposed to keep a clear mind, concentrate on mediation or some mantra, bearing whatever is thrown at them. additionally they receive the best training in both combat and politics as well as magic. not all princen can withstand the requirements ofc so they.. vary quite a bit in terms of stability/constitution. its a p sick system even without the knights added in bc thats super messed up

the knights essentially belong to their princens in heart body mind and soul, and each princen receives exactly one knight soulbound to them. they also undergo the same scouting process once the princen is identified, and they undergo similar training except theyre also essentially brainwashed into believing their entire purpose in life is to serve and protect their princen no matter what. obviously this aint healthy! knights delude themselves into it so hard theyll fight for the system that literally abuses them! but thats how cults work

that being said knights are extremely powerful. they act as the sole bodyguard of their princen and believe me you dont want to get inbetween a knight and their prince. they are known especially for their brutality when their lords are threatened. it is extremely common for limbs to be lost in skirmishes btwn assailants and a knight

this takes us to the games! which are essentially gladiator coliseum type bloodsport contests between knights of different princens. its a pretty big affair like how the Olympics are for us so the fanfare the cheering the everything is all there i prob dont need to describe it in detail but its very violent. its considered practice for the knights before the true battle-royale type event thats even BIGGER bc it determines who becomes god-king of the country. this time the princen join their knights in the battlefield and basically whoever is left standing is the new king

is it worth it? probably not bc i think being king actually means being killed to be sent up to the heavens bc god kings dont need bodies any longer in truth the entire debacle is a distraction set up by the church to keep the country under its own control. its super corrupt. the council behind every princen is actually made up of high ranking church members that convene regularly to manipulate the politics of the region

but thats mostly the governing sphere of this world. the commonfolk are removed from most of this violence aside from the indoctrination by the church and the messed up religion they practice. a lot of the belief system here relies on this concept of karma and fate over free will. fate is oppressive, cannot be changed, but god do they try that belief ties into how princen and knights are fated to be pairs, how princen are fated to either ascend to godhood or die trying

but there is one way to manipulate fates in this world there exists in independent of the church a monastery that practices the art of transferring karma. think of karma as a type of currency that can be spent, saved, used, etc. lots of good karma may be distributed amongst loved ones via a ritual headed by a monk, or bad karma can be "paid off" essentially. the amount of good/bad karma a person has directly affects their fortune and luck. this practice is more or less outlawed by the church but the monastery is slowly gaining power over the commonfolk and the church mostly leaves the poor folk to rot anyway- their agenda mostly concerns the monarchy

altho i can definitely see tensions rising with the witch hunting as influenced by the church. particularly nefarious visions may result in blame being thrown around and commoners getting killed for crimes they have yet to commit and thats thanks to the teachings of the church

anyway as of rn though the monastery is still pretty small but it is an old, ancient organization with magic that runs far deeper than the magic of the church. it is a much more subtle magic- monks practice little offensive magic (they are a nonviolent sort anyway) but the ability to exchange karma is rare and has far more reaching impact in the long run i imagine they have strongholds further to the east but anyway theres one trump card the monastic order has

a subsection of the order is dedicated to the keeping of miracles. and miracles are... monsters! they are semi-physical manifestations of literal suffering and the sheer emotional energy provided by them is enough to give miracles the power to.. well. perform miracles.

when a person dies in anguish, there is a chance that their bodies will not decompose the way they are meant to. instead they slowly dissipate, bodies turning coal black and ashen to the touch. these cannot be disposed of the normal way (curses, contamination, all kinds of horrible things happen) so instead these corpses get locked up inside brick cells within the monastery

once, one of these was opened only to reveal that the bodies were gone- only a humming, massive shadow that seemed to move as if made of flies or soot combined. and it spoke, too. this was the first miracle created it was discovered then that these creatures had immense power but could not leave the rooms they were imprisoned in, touch sunlight, and similarly they could not die

imagine like the witchs nightmares in pmmm and you get what its like to be a soul trapped in a miracle. u get to relive ur worst fears and regrets forever. it suck miracles also cannot direct their powers towards their own will, only the will of others. ofc they are still monsters and exact a price for their services, whatever it may be.

a meeting with a miracle does not come cheap or without consequence, bc although miracles can be performed, karma always rebalances itself in the end. monks tasked with guarding and curating the miracles are called gatekeepers and are often someone close to one of the souls trapped in the vortex anyway i think thats the basics of everything in there... i got an au w cyrus as a prince and alex as his knight and instead of sticking around for their inevitable deaths the pair run off into the countryside far far away

actually i think something went wrong in the ceremony. cyrus and alex win godkingship of then... something goes wrong. probably the whole die-to-ascend thing is a secret kept from the princen and the public and. alex does a thing a knight should not do a refuses to let the ceremony continue. and im p sure as soon as cyrus learns of the truth hes like haha well fuck that

then they spend the rest of their days actually experiencing what life is like outside of a freakish cult and my fucking feels

i think.. meanwhile the monastic order grows in influence and power making them the enemy of the church... and jonah (yonah in this au) sacrifices himself to the miracle containing his brother in order to give the miracle a corporal form. which means august and company now have a physical conduit for all that power they had.

bad news for the church! bc august was unrightfully killed bc of a prophecy saying that hed become a huge threat and a killer

funny how prophecies work!

so now hes out for blood and he probably uses his own charisma and power to stage a coup against the church and basically the country goes to hell and i think at this point cyrus thinks. i got out of there alive. i need to do something about this. so he and alex probably join in and become arbiters of the game esp since cyrus and alex were probably the best synced, most skilled prince/knight duo the church had seen up to that date so theyre very powerful. ofc theyre still only two people so i really wonder how theyll step in btwn these two opposing parties

augusts side isnt good either bc august... is only out for revenge and self interest. he has no interest in fixing the country or helping anyone in fact once august is firmly seated on the throne of power he probably declares himself god-king anyway the end game probably looks like augusts body (which is jonahs body) being destroyed and the miracle contained in it finally put to rest jonahs soul must have something to do with the exorcism process- theyve tried to exorcise miracles before and only ended up upsetting it into violent outbursts anyway thats enough rambling from me time to paste this all into a blog post

god what if august picked keith to be his knight. thats messed up. keiths so easy to manipulate and hed be such a wildcard of a knight. he has more magic potential than alex and hes faster on his feet. im imagining bloodlust frenzy almost hyena-like behavior. also i mostly just want to see keith being violent and evil and i have an outfit in mind that would look great with a little splash of red

think like minimalistic ouji but like all black and keith with knives and serving a clearly twisted (even more than usual bc of the miracle’s influence) august

god even better the aftermath of augusts death TIME FOR THE FUCKING FEELS TO KICK IN BC now Keith has no purpose/he FAILED to protect his king WHICH WAS HIS ONLY PURPOSE IN LIFE then alex coming in with cy and just no, you have inherent worth. what happened wasn't right im upset this is how alex and keith become family in this au

miracles i think in this case are definitely more of a means to an end i think narratively ie jonahs brother being killed and augusts soul being trapped within it- tho i think its a good tie-in into how the severe paranoid cultish way the society works ends up producing a lot of People Dying In Extreme Anguish

almost a buildup of sickness so to say.. a plague of the soul that's a cool avenue to go down tbh the idea that miracles are more like viruses spreading misfortune in the long run for some quick gain in this life but bc karma always collects her debts if i throw in some nice reincarnation that would effectively damn someone in their next life... that implies that this story may need to expand across different generations

mechanics being so much bullshit has happened in this country it houses multiple miracles whereas elsewhere its like one, or none, very few in their histories except possibly during wartime and famine

since magic is Exists in this it makes sense that the emotional energy combined w ambient energy would manifest in some kind of grotesque Being

oh no thats maybe why the church is manipulating things by purposely generating that emotional trauma in its society its producing unprecedented amounts of energy they can utilize as magic power oh  no thats super bad august would definitely take advantage of that bc hed definitely figure the truth out once hes back to being alive

im upset bc i think they use princens and knights to specifically create emotional energy

energy released upon death which typically happens after a knight/prince duo has been chosen... then the resulting STRONG ass char plague on their bodies are collected to make artifacts? yes

gems created from the ashen plague are embedded into a huge mandala that actually ... is the god-king itself

[renamusing]

reuenthals replied to your post: reuenthals replied to your post: ...

in the folder re: konhiji like we’re not told how old toshi was when he met kondo but probably a teenager considerin sougo was 6-8 so i always thought toshi’d place kondo in a place similar to tamegoro but misunderstand those feelins as smth else bc he’s just a baby + kondou’s the first to show him real (or any) affection outside tamegoro n not fear or resent him in any way but actually want to help him (he later in life realizes hed just misplaced/misunderstood their 

nature). from that same era, i think his feelins for mitsuba would fit a similar narrative as in bc of circumstances she HAD to be the woman he loved bc all men must love a woman plus she had feelins for him (tho tbh i also dont think hers were any different from the familial love she had for kondou and it was also a matter of circumstance but thats another matter) so it was a done deal but still easy to leave behind for a new life n have as backup/excuse for any other

woman hed meet or more like a shield from havin to open up w/unravel to any feelins of love of a non familial nature for anyone. his take on love is rly naive n pure (contrasted to ofc my baby whos smart n no fool) bc it also serves as shield n hes also said to be unable to relate/open up to women multiple times but is defenseless towards men (n sorachi loves that trope esp w toshi n gin chan in which theyre ‘men that are more attractive to other men than women’) which

i think is why hes so well defenseless towards gin chan durin their duel in the rooftops like for gin chan thats just a ‘crazy cop attacked me again’ moment but for toshi it like shakes the foundations of his whole bein he like lies there all wistful like wtf…..im gay? no… w a blossomin crush that only gets worse the more he interacts w gin chan (cant blame him tho gin chan is an angel) but like the way hes constructed specifically as an archetype hes too set in

performin masculinity (kyuchan says this but he also says this abt himself also multiple times) n sorachi is aware to an extent (plus hes drawin from men who were practicin mlm themselves) what this trope entails wrt sexuality n its expressions like for toshi its comfortable not to think abt love or any of that bc he has a goal n the excuse of a dead woman but its impossible to read him as anythin but not straight no matter the degree to which he is aware of it (which

tbh i think its a lot more than what ppl in fandom give him credit for) i have more detailed backed up analysis of this somewhere but i cant find them but basically at the end of the day i think toshi meetin kondo n at least havin some mixed up feelins abt what he feels towards him that hes able to resolve as bein brotherly later on in life set the path for him realizin he can love other men not in a brotherly way n in the way he (as a man) is supposed to love women

wow long but yes like toshi’s archetype in other manga/literature is easily read n can be coded as mlm/gay n is often the case but his issues run too deep for him to even consider that part seriously (at least tbh until 551 maybe baragaki but i dont think that early) so he has to suffer for it he deserves the worst the only reason gh is okay is bc he provides economically for gin chan n would be willin to pay any outstandin debts as shown in the soul switch arc. the end

i feel like this was just a sneak peek into that folder, but I loved it 200%! it’s super hard for me to reply without going into my own headcanons about gh and how they relate to one another, cause the way toshi relates to gin is so different from kondo in my perspective; in fact, it’s why i can’t get romantic konhiji at all, though i admit you make a fair point when u address the transition of toshi’s “most important person” from tamegoro to kondo (at that young age mixed feelings would be acceptable) plus, i always saw kondo as the character that ‘saved’ toshi, while gin was the one that ‘healed’ him. ofc both relationships go way beyond these dynamics, but without any actual canon romantic proof it’s difficult to postulate from toshi’s limited pov. 

so, while the shinsengumi became his substitute family and kondo tamegoro’s substitute (the family core), it’s a given that toshi perceives this love as unconditional, would-die-for etc. however, it would be interesting to explore his feelings for kondo back then in relation to mitsuba; like in an effort to answer the love of a woman (as you so brilliantly put, that in those circumstances toshi HAD to love a woman) he tried to shift his romantic feelings/attraction to kondo’s masculine figure to her ? (IM ONLY  REALIZING NOW THAT THIS WAS PROBABLY WHAT YOU MEANT BEFORE? IM SORRY) tho i don’t agree that mitsuba’s love for him was familial cause ponytail toshi, mack, like pls, she had to be blind ???

then we come to ginchan, whose whole relationship with toshi is based, imo, in the fact that they not only see a part of themselves in each other (the guilty, self-hating, rebel part) but that in seeing it they understand themselves better and are able to open up, share their experiences and encourage one another; not to mention protect what’s dear to them. aka they love each other. there is literally no other explanation for ginchan waiting in the rain for toshi so they could go out for a meal? i mean, sakata gintoki sat in the rain, under his umbrella, looking all complacent & shit. ALRIGHT. 

btw i bolded some of your bits cause i rly relate to them in the way i see toshi, especially the ones about him putting up a shield. toshi has always had problems dealing with his feelings, even before we knew of his past with his brother (which for continuity’s sake was probably what triggered him to bottle  everything up), he had always been written/regarded as a cold, level-headed character who doesn’t let emotions get the best of him. his rank in the shinsengumi further emphasizing this (and his otaku persona as well). so, without disregarding ginchan’s merits, i think that kondo’s influence (and even mitsuba’s to some extent) may have contributed to lowering toshi’s shield enough that he was able to give himself a chance to connect with someone outside his comfort zone/past. the fact that that person happened to be a man only makes more sense given his background and the hints that tell us he was never able to relate to women or feel like he could make them happy. it’s Tough on my heart to say that ginchan is basically ideal because, even though he is the mc, it’s like he was made to play that role in toshi’s life. he doesn’t bring all the answers but rather more questions cause there’s no way toshi can be confused now because his attraction to ginchan cant be excused with the role of ‘brother’ or ‘fated woman he was supposed to love’, gh bond is their own, their closeness in canon SHOULD raise suspicion cause it sure doesn’t seem straight.

well, i digressed WAY more than i should, but yeah that’s it, kudos on that folder.