#and once again I am absolutely not saying that child abuse is uniquely white bc. el em ey oh thats not how any of this works | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ablednt · 4 months

Text

Granted I have the overall geographical and cultural knowledge of a 4th grader but from what I can tell the nuclear family model really does seem to be a white colonial invention

Different cultures have different approaches but I mainly hear about either large family units where multiple generations support each other and raise their children and grandchildren together or an "it takes a village" approach where children are raised somewhat communally

And I can't really speak on it much or claim that these families were free of abuse or that children aren't often an oppressed group basically everywhere I know of but the way ownership of your children is so engrained into white society is so bizarre

Like once you notice it you can't unnotice it even the most loving well meaning parents don't know what to do about it because everyone is so isolated from their own families and their own communities so you wind up with 1-2 parents who have full legal ownership of their child and are raised in a culture where you don't have personhood until you're 18 and all attempts at self actualization before them are seen as clueless rebellion. Like our culture is so divorced from the concept that a parent is someone who is helping mentor and care for their child so they can thrive as a fellow human being and it's actually so alarming

And ik this problem isn't unique to white and colonized people but it's honestly really soothing to hear about how other cultures approach and view parenting and community as a whole and to internalize it doesn't have to be this way

#like i was reading a book by Sabaa Tahir who's Pakistani #and the perspective on parenthood portrayed in it so healing #like when Salahuddin mentions that his mom taught him not to thank his parents growing up #''Ama taught me that saying thank you to your own parents is unnecessary. Akin to thanking your lungs for breathing. The times I tried #she looked at me like I’d rejected Saturday-morning paratha.''#and like obviously the idea isn't that your kids should be ungrateful im assuming that it's their behavior and overall respect thats thanks #but as someone who was raised thanking everyone for everything especially my parents no matter what it really stood out bc even little stuff #like that can make a huge difference yk? since I can remember white adults particularly my parents taught me i was a burden #and that their taking care of me was an act of kindness rather than a responsibility and I don't think it's some big conspiracy to make kids #feel horrible but it's not really teaching gratitude it's just teaching guilt #thats just one example tho #I also am at the extreme end of white cultural isolation (neither of my parents are close to their families we've never lived near them and #they specifically isolate us from everyone so the difference is a lot more drastic for me than it probably is a lot of other people #but when i hear ppl being close to their neighbors or anyone that lives near them i go a little insane with longing tbh #like what is that like? to grow up in an environment where your world is more than just your parents approval?#where there's some kind of insulation between you and all of your parents problems bc there is no one else #this was not a ramble with any kind of conclusion tho akehrjdhr #and once again I am absolutely not saying that child abuse is uniquely white bc. el em ey oh thats not how any of this works #it's just that white cultures view on children is sickening

12 notes · View notes