#and people still doubt he’s a sex-haver…

[scuderlia]

every time lando is involved in a 'scandal' it's just the entire internet being shocked that he fucks

[pointnumbersixteen]

How do you see The Captain's coming out, and growth in confidence and self acceptance thereafter taking place?

I like this question! …and I’m probably going to elaborate on it a bit more than many people will want to read (I noticed back when I was regularly writing essay length posts that they did not get a lot of love) and it’s probably going to get even more ramble-y than usual (brain has not been braining as cooperatively as it should recently and the decision to drink half a bottle of wine right before answering this- sorry- probably does not help), but here we are.  

 About coming out scenarios, none of mine are particularly elaborate. While I do think he needs to come out for his story line to progress, I can’t imagine him making a big thing out of it (long or elaborate announcements, heart-to-hearts, emotional displays of bearing his authentic self or any of the like), either with the group, or person-by-person, for several reasons:

First off, that sort of a coming-out to-do is a more modern notion, and I doubt he was a particularly modern person even when he was alive, seventy-five years ago. His notions of privacy and propriety are probably much more conservative than ours, and I feel like that makes it unlikely that he’d go into any sort of detail, at least at early in this process, about his feelings/emotions or the specificities of his attractions. We’re talking about a man who doesn’t even use his own name. It’s difficult to picture him going into depth about his desires and love life.

Secondly, he’s a bit of a social coward. (He’s not a physical coward, of course, he jumped on that bomb in the garden without hesitation, and acknowledged after the fact that he gotten caught up in the moment, and therefore hadn’t really thought about how a bomb couldn’t hurt him.) And I get it, I’m a bit of a social coward, too, so no judgement. He probably faced a lot of ridicule in his life. Being a social coward is totally fair. But he doesn’t put himself into situations that might involve awkward interpersonal interactions if he can help it, and legs it whenever interactions he’s already in become to awkward for him. I feel like he’s probably quite desperate (although he’d never admit to it) to save face and protect what bits of his ego remain unscathed.

Think about it: he could have spoken to Fanny on his own about her nightly screaming disturbing him in s1e1, they have a clear association established at the outset of the show, they leave Heather’s room together at the end of the very first scene, but he doesn’t do so until he has the weight of the whole group to back him up about the screaming at their meeting. He had to buck up his courage and give himself his little ‘over the top we go’ pep talk before going to speak to Alison in Gorilla War. Also, if there was actually something wrong with his soldiers’ horseplay after hours in Reddy Weddy- if it was breaking regulations or even his own orders for quiet hours- and he heard it, he could have gone down directly when he heard it, confronted whoever was involved and order them to stop or put them on report. But no, instead he addressed the entire group of soldiers in a sixteen point morning brief. He even dispatched Pat to confront Alison about the party in s2e2, instead doing it himself… and spit out his apology/reconciliation with Pat at the end as fast as possible. And as for legging it when things get awkward, see his retreats following the group confronting him in Getting Out and after Alison telling him he wasn’t needed in the Grey Lady- and on a more figurative than literal level, but most relevantly, his quick turn from ‘I’ll miss you’ to ‘we’ll miss you’ with Havers in Reddy Weddy.

This is not a man who wants to be in awkward or embarrassing situations. And I think that coming out, at least at first, will probably be a bit embarrassing for him- it was scandalous in his time, and I think it will take him longer to get over that feeling and come to terms with himself than it will to finally acknowledge that he’s gay. So I doubt he’d make more of it than he utterly feels he has to, at least at first. And of course, he’d have to be a bit afraid that people would judge him or stop associating with him over it, as sadly, in his own time many people would have done, and most of the ghosts are from even earlier times than he was. So that might add more hesitation…

And thirdly, he doesn’t like and/or respect many of his house mates. The other twentieth century ghosts are the only ones he spends much time with. I doubt he’d go out of his way to communicate much of anything to the rest if it wasn’t “mission related” much less discuss his sexuality with them. He mostly disregards Humphrey. See his, “Oh, it’s you.” Mary obviously doesn’t like him and he only associates with her when it might be useful for his ‘missions.’ He clearly doesn’t think much of Thomas and doesn’t really even bother including him in his plans. These aren’t people he’s going to have heart-to-hearts with.

With those constraints in place, here’s a non-exhaustive list of possibilities by which I might see his coming out finally happening. They’re really just scenarios I made for myself on how I might see him coming out and I like to keep my options open (the first three are strategies he might go for, the last is an alternate scenario, presented in decreasing levels of directness on his part):

1) The ‘pull the bandage off quickly and hope it doesn’t sting too much’ strategy.

The Captain waits for the end of one of their various group activities or meetings, where all announcements seem to be made, gets up, clears his throat, stammers a bit, announces it tersely, using the most proper popular word for homosexuality that existed in his time (think: “Heh-hem. Er. Um. Well. It has recently come to my attention that I am- er- well- as it happens- gay. I, uh, thought it should be noted. That is all.”), and then beats a hasty retreat, so he doesn’t have to try to cope with the potentially negative aftermath. Of course, there isn’t a negative aftermath, because many of the ghosts already have guessed and the rest don’t really care. Someone, probably Pat, because he does the bulk of the emotional labor in the group, and more importantly, he’s Cap’s closest friend, would have to go after him. He would of course be initially defensive, and Pat would have to sooth his feathers a bit- or maybe just spit it out over his defensiveness- that he guessed a long time ago and so had plenty of other people, and they were just waiting for him to be ready, and really, it’s fine, and no one’s going to disown him for it.  

2) The ‘well maybe I should tell my friends with the hope they support me’ strategy.

He gets together with a small group, the people whose company he actually values, definitely Fanny and Pat, maybe Julian, probably Alison either at the same time or after he finishes with his ghosts pals, and says it in much the same way as the previous scenario, but waiting for their reactions rather than retreating straight away. Pat and Alison, I expect, would answer with something like ‘yeah, we figured that one out a long time ago, actually, and it’s completely fine’ and Julian’s reaction would probably be something like, ‘well, obviously.’ Fanny’s had a lot of character growth since season one, when I expect her reaction would have been very shrill and judgmental, probably still would be a touch less warm and/or nonchalant, but I picture it as something like a sigh, followed by a pat on the arm and something like, ‘well, I still like you better than everyone else here, anyway.’ Word would eventually trickle to everyone else by way of social osmosis. Or not. No one seems to care if Humphrey or the plague ghosts are well informed.  

3) The ‘I’m not brave enough to actually go through the process of actually telling anyone anything about me so let’s just drop hints and hope everyone figures it out without making a big deal about it’ strategy.  

The indirect approach (I’m rather fond of this one, but mostly because it was my own primary coming out approach)… he first sends out feelers to certain people on the topic of homosexuality, probably Alison, since she’s modern, hosted a lesbian wedding, and very much implied that she’d be ready to keep scandalous secrets for him in Reddy Weddy, and  possibly maybe also Julian, as he’s the most sexually experienced/knowledgeable, and after Alison spent a while inundating him with ‘it’s okay to be gay’ messages (along with a sudden and entirely unexplained influx of LGBT media) as she’s socially clever enough to see that’s what he’s looking for and after Julian spent a while telling him probably far more than he ever actually wanted to know about the potentialities of gay sex, that might boost the Captain’s confidence enough to let him start dropping hints to people, instead of telling them outright (consciously commenting on the attractiveness of men they see rather than occasionally accidentally blurting it out- see ‘the handsome one’- occasionally putting forth an opinion or stance on the LGBT world ‘it would have been nice if gay marriage was acceptable when I was alive,’ maybe occasionally mentioning how certain men would make cute couple), expecting them to meet him in the middle and figure out the point on their own… of course, many of them have already realized, so this isn’t a problem. It’s entirely possible, though, that Mary (world view not terribly grounded in reality) and Kitty (lack of life experience and/or instruction about life, see the how are babies made subplot) never pick up the hints on their own and someone else eventually has to tell them.

4) The ‘someone puts him out of his misery’ scenario.

Cap acknowledges to himself that he’s gay first and then, wishing to avoid embarrassment or lack of acceptance, obviously, awkwardly, painfully tries to disguise it and in doing so draws attention to it, until a third party decides to put him out of his misery and tell him that many of them figured it out ages ago and that everyone is fine with it. Maybe Pat. Maybe Alison. I kind of like the idea of it being Fanny (with her lovely character growth and her couple of suspicious glances his way in the Perfect Day), actually, by way of something like ‘You know, I was entirely prepared to continue on living with my husband, George, keeping his secrets, about the, uh, sort of person he was, and you’re at least one better than him, given that you at least never murdered me- or, for that matter, never married some poor woman you had no interest in to shield yourself from scrutiny… and so, what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t turn my back on you for being the, uh, sort of person you are, either, and maybe things have progressed enough that you don’t actually have to keep secrets at all.’ Cap would take all of this in with a mixture of mortification and relief. I’m rather fond of this scenario, too.  

 As for the second bit of the question, once his sexuality is out there, though, and no one judges him or hates him for it- and some are quite supportive- I do see him becoming more self-accepting. If no one’s judging him, does he need to judge himself so harshly? And also more confident. Because some of those things that he’s always felt different about and in the past has probably been ridiculed about in the past (even if he’s in denial about being gay, he and quite a few other people had to at the very least note that he’s not particularly interested in women), are, apparently just fine now. So he’s a bit more just fine now himself. And that weight of always trying to be someone else, someone who’s just right, can lift and he can relax a bit more. And that would probably help him a lot, too. I see it as a slow sort of thawing process. No matter what way he comes out, I still see Alison as very helpfully providing a variety of LGBT media to help this process along. And maybe he’d eventually get to the point where he processed enough and warmed up enough to be able to talk more in depth, at least with his friends, about what it was like being him in repressed pre-war Britain, and what sort of men he’s attracted to (I enjoy the idea of him and Fanny- gradually overcoming her own repression- scoping out hot men together). Maybe he’ll even luck out one of his male housemates will decide (or has already decided) that bisexuality is a valid option and he’ll get a date (insert whichever ghost y’all ship him with here). I bet Alison would totally help him set up a nice date, too, with her convenient still-functional-in-the-mortal-realm hands. And it would be nice to maybe see him get a taste of actual happiness.    

[pooptartselevator]

The Talk

A lot of people grow up with a very specific image in mind when they imagine “the talk,” aka the first time they hear about sex from their parents. For me, it means something completely different-- a curse, actually, one that I can’t escape, one that I have no clue who bestowed it upon me except perhaps faulty genetics. 

For me, “the talk,” is having to explain to yet another man my eternal, un-asked for dilemma: I can’t have penetrative sex. You see, I was born with congenital neuroproliferative vestibulodynia-- in layman’s terms, that means that from birth, I’ve had a constant overgrowth of nerve endings in the vestibule portion of my vagina. And while some people probably hear that and think, “Nice! Sounds like a great time!” It’s anything but. When the nervous system receives an overload of feedback, it can actually feel excruciating. The first time I described it to my mother as a 13 year old attempting to insert a tampon, I used words like, “knives,” “burning” “fire,” and “acid.” To make matters worse, I developed secondary vaginismus as a result of the pain; to fear pain means to guard via muscular intervention, and to guard means to be in further pain. Years of nortriptylene, gabapentin, lidocaine, cymbalta, physical therapy, biofeedback, and “miracle cure ointments” that I don’t know how to spell couldn’t save me. In September of 2020, I had something called a vestibulectomy, in which a surgeon removes the vulvar vestibule and advances the elastic tissue of the vagina to essentially replace bad tissue with good tissue. While the surgery was somewhat successful and I can now proudly wear tampons, I find myself faced with the same burden as before... I still can’t have sex. I’m not sure what happened, exactly. A lot of vagina-havers come out of the surgical process pain-free. Alas, witches or God or faulty genes don’t remove a curse that easily. Last night, I had to give the talk again-- this time to a guy I really hit it off with several weeks ago.

“I know this is a really weird mood killer... But like, I just need to spit it out in case this is like a dealbreaker, and I hope it’s not weird.” 

“Oh come on, I doubt it, what is it?” He asked encouragingly.

(We had been really amping up the flirting the past several days. It was time.)

“So I have chronic pain.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” And from there, I proceeded to tell him pretty much everything I just told you, except I did add in a spicy little, “There are other things I can do.” He listened quietly, giving an “uh huh,” and a nod every now and then. And yet, I could see it on his face-- the disappointment that I’ve become very familiar with throughout years of dating and being dumped or gradually un-touched. I’ll give him some slight credit; he tried masking it behind a, “I mean, that’s alright. Nobody’s perfect. We’re creative.”

I know he meant no harm by the “nobody’s perfect” line. He was trying to reassure me that maybe it was something that could be worked around. But as I laid in bed after our phone call, I couldn’t help but feel pretty burned by that comment. I’m fine just the way I am. I didn’t ask for this. This is not my fault. This is not a mistake I made and now must face consequences for. This is a weird fluke; the definition of “shit happens [in the womb].” 

The thing is, I want to be loved for everything I am, not despite everything I am. 

I guess I just have to keep looking for it.

[we8comic]

i was the anon who sent the eyeroll dream thing and genuinely actually do you have any feelings about like dream and by extension sapnap trying to assert themselves into pop off trio streams

because i’m not gonna lie as much as i love dream and sapnap and yeah the going dark thing was funny, they do have this problem where they show up and get confrontational about not being invited and when they do that shit and put everyone on the spot about “being left out” it’s very weird to me you should just accept they want to have a stream alone right..? i was wondering what you thought about that and whether you think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out

like let george hang out with his other friends maybe i doubt they’d do this if it was quackity and karl with anyone else or even just them alone

also i’m too much of a coward to discuss this on my own main idk if you know who this is but i have a feeling it’s smth you agree with and it’s veryyy nice to see someone calling sapnap and dream out for their occasional annoying and stream ruining behaviour

sorry this is so long!! you also totally don’t have to answer btw lmao i just notice the same frustration sometimes through your liveblogging whenever sapnap and dream crash a stream

anonymous: wait wait to add onto my last ask it was the biggest power move for karl to announce that the sex havers only consists of george karl and quackity and i really felt like that was a hint drop from him, i think jokingly adding that anyone else is “a friend of sex havers” was to lessen the impact but i still enjoy the fact that he asserted (and has been asserting) that their group when they’re together is an exclusive trio

i felt it that time he was like yeah well. we were the original sex havers groupchat and i feel like sapnap and dream kinda wriggled themselves into being included like i hope none of this sounds mean i just really want dream and sapnap to understand it’s okay to not be included in everything

oh MAN do i have feelings 😩 dream and sapnap are almost comically emasculated by any little thing that makes them feel inferior and that includes being excluded from things. and i personally feel they have no right to get angry about being left out and to then show up onto their streams to express that theyre upset in front of an audience of thousands. i say this because the other three ALWAYS mention that they dm'd them and invited them to the activity or otherwise said they had reason to believe dream or sapnap wouldnt be available (and even outside of that, theyre not required to tell the other about every single one of their plans lol)

i think getting confrontational about it on stream in the middle of planned activities is childish. take a look at bad for example, who also isnt a part of the trio but doesnt get confrontational about having been left out. the trio is full of lighthearted people, bad came into the call and they asked him if he wanted to join in the game they were playing and he did and that was it. compare that to dream or sapnap and when they join calls. theyre consistently immediately accusatory. the trio will take it in stride (cus again. an audience of over 100k is watching. its really not the time and place to whine and get mad about feeling left out, those are convos to have in private), theyll throw some facts like "we invited you" "you said you were busy" "we already had this planned for a while" etc., then theyll offer an invitation to join. this invitation is usually met w quite frankly STUPID debate about "well why wasnt i included in the first place" like dude. read the room, youre streamers for a living, talk about these things off stream like an adult. plus they literally already said you could join if you still wanted to, whats the problem, why drag it out for longer than it needs to be. it just stalls the stream and their plans and shifts the lighthearted tone into somethin a little more careful (however briefly it might be, it didnt need to happen)

i LOVE karl for saying that theyre their own group and joking that their attitude is why theyre friends of sex havers. it felt like a lighthearted way to lift the mood again and kinda say "hey, we do our own things sometimes, chill"

i cant speak for whether i think they genuinely feel threatened about being left out cus not only do i not know them personally, theyre also not ccs i focus energy on (thats for quackity and george 😌) i DO think that with all the times theyve brought it up when crashing the trio streams, they should really by this point have talked about it off screen. it feels almost like they use the audience as a safety net to avoid the consequence of intruding/being mean cus whoever theyre talking to has to keep a certain face and therefore cant say certain things (might even hazard a guess that off screen they probably still dont REALLY talk about it)

i dont blame them for wanting to be a part of things their friends are doing but i blame them for the way they express that. it makes the atmosphere tense by making it far too personal for something thats visible to a live public audience.

i know theyre around the same age, but the way dream an sapnap handle conflict on screen IS immature vs the way quackity and karl do. quackity and karl have been entertainers for A WHILE and understand how to stay entertaining and theyre far more aware of their audience and the overall mood and how to handle problems and conflict without things getting too tense. dream and sapnap (sapnap moreso) have a habit of being confrontational and not lightening the mood and instead continuing to be mad, making everyone else in the call responsible for the energy of the stream instead of them themselves dealing with the tenseness theyve caused. it makes things awkward and im always hoping itll end fast and that theyd please for the love of god talk about it off stream

thats worded a little dramatically cus its rarely ever THAT bad, but it would be SO much better if it just didnt happen yknow. if they understood that they dont have to be a part of everything their other friends do AND if they understood that getting mad on stream and stalling their plans and souring the vibe isnt the best way to handle it.

tl;dr: theyre their own group who do their own things and arent required to share their plans w the rest of their friends (and usually they dm in advance anyway asking if they wanna be a part of their plans). dream and sapnap feeling excluded isnt something they should get overly heated about on stream (its an immature way to bring up the issue especially without ever offering a solution). these are problems they should talk about off stream where the trio dont have to be so conscious about their audience and its perception. i love karl and quackity for emphasizing that theyre their own group with their own plans and joking that the way they act is WHY theyre not part of the group. i think they deal w it as well as they can and i think dream and sapnap need to learn just a little more spacial awareness and how to handle conflict

edit: quackity/karl/george should be fully able to have their own stream together without anyone else intruding. dream and sapnap arent their bosses, they dont need to run all their plans by them first. if they want to have streams with just their own established group, they should be able to have that.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror Villains Drabble #1

Plot: The Horror Villain in your lives S/O(Who you were also very close to) has just died, and you’re there to watch them crumple. 

Includes: Jason Voorhees, Mayor Buckman and Sheriff Hoyt 

Warnings: Angst 

Hah, I think these just get shorter and shorter, which is funny because this is not the order I wrote them in. 

~~~

Jason Voorhees:

Today, I’m going to visit Jason. Who I guess a normal person would my… brother-in-law? Stepbrother-in-law, because his girl was my stepsister. Not that that matters now, she died in a car crash 3 weeks ago. Which is why I’m checking on him, bearing a new tablecloth to lighten up his creepy little cabin and ginger ale. She said once that he liked that stuff, and the tablecloth was my idea. I didn’t know what else to bring him in this situation, since I only met him once! But I thought I should, bring something.

The time I met him was because she wanted someone to know about him, that she trusts. In case something bad happened. Which, evidently, it did. How she knew it would happen? Well, there’s an ongoing news segment dedicated to the investigation they distastefully opened the day of her funeral, when the coroner that checked her out mentioned a gang tattoo hidden on the top of her thigh. Jason doesn’t need to know that part though.

From what I gathered about him when she introduced us and I stuck around with them the day we met and what I remind myself of quickly in my head as I leave the Ford Fiesta I got for my 18th birthday 3 years ago, is that mostly he’s a delicate soul. At least, when it has to do with her, or his mother. Her name’s Pamela, but I hope that doesn’t come up because their relationship scares me and I don’t want much to do with it. I especially don’t want to bring her up to him. 

I start walking towards his cabin, recalling other things about him I could mention or just that I should remember. His favourite colour’s green, like oak leaves and definitely not moss. He drowned because some councillors who were supposed to be watching him were getting jiggy with it in the forest, and because of that he has an ingrained hatred and need to eradicate all premarital sex havers.

Pft, that’ll be fine then. My lame ass is still a virgin. Not that I’m bitter about it or that I’m going to mention that, at all.

Finally, I reach the Voorhees’ cabin, which is clearly what is seeing as I can smell the stench of Mum’s rotted head wafting from inside that still haunts my dreams from last time. I put down the bag with his new, green tablecloth, ginger ale and my Christmas cookies -because I need them to get eaten and its been a month and they’re still sitting in my cupboard, and this seemed like a good a time as any. Maybe Jason’ll appreciate the patters I painstakingly iced on them. He supposedly has the brain of a child,- on the ground and stan dup straighter, biting the inside of my lips.  

Taking a cautious step forward, wondering whether I should knock even though the door’s open, I call carefully. “Jason? Hey, it’s Y/N. (Your Stepsisters Name)’s, sister? We met, and I just wanted to check on you. She asked me to.”

When in doubt, make sure he knows who I am and my connection to her. She’s his soft spot.

No answer.

I shuffle to the side, seeing if I can get a glimpse inside the house and see if he’s actually in there, without overstepping and walking on in. “I brought ginger ale- “

Suddenly heavy footsteps come up behind me and stop close by. I whip around, and suddenly I feel like a fly in comparison to the giant that is Jason Voorhees. I soften my expression and pick up the bag, offering it to him. “Did you hear all that?”

He nods.

“Is it okay that I’m here?”

Again, he nods. I let my muscles relax, and go to sit down on the moulding, termite ravished porch. Before I start taking things out of the bag, I peer up at him, and make sure this is okay. “Is it okay that I sit here? I’ll get up if its not, its okay.”

No nod this time, I guess he got tired of it which is understandable- I would too if that was my only mode of communication. Instead, he walks over, movement weirdly purposeful, and sits down beside me. The wood moves worryingly under his weight, but stays sturdy thank god.

I flash him a kind smile, and start showing him what’s in the bag. Once I’m finished, I decide to cut straight to the chase, because he is not responding to any of this. Not even the snowman cookie awakened a reaction, and that one is freaken masterful. I turn to him, as he holds gently onto the ginger ale between his knees but doesn’t open it, and drop my forearms onto my knees. “So, Jason. Sweetheart, you gotta tell me o-or… Morse code to me, or whatever if you’re okay or not. Because that’s what I’m here for. For her, and therefore you are too. You get me?” I peer up at him, hoping he understands. Because I’m already getting emotional, and I don’t want to start crying again. I will, if we have to go through this painstakingly slowly.

Again, he doesn’t nod. But he does turn his head to look ahead of him and away from me, which I take as him understanding, but avoiding the conversation.

But hey! At least he isn’t walking off or stabbing me. Swallowing, and taking a deep breath, because we have to do this and theirs a tiny part of me that wants to for him and not for her, although the brunt of it is for her, I carry my pointer finger up and ever so gently pat the bottom of his mask. He turns slightly to look at me, and I look softly, empathetically at him. “I, for one, feel terrible.”

His shoulders relax the tiniest bit, so I go on. “I-I mean… I didn’t know her my whole life. Our parents got married when she was already 12. But I was 8, and she was my big sister after that. And, she was… the better one of us! Its true! I mean, you fell for her! And, from what I can tell you have trust issues. Rightly so, but still. She broke through that because she was so good. I can’t… “I let out a heavy breath, but not looking away because I’m brave. “Help, but think that… it should’ve been me, and not her. Okay?” Ohhh god. That sure doesn’t become easier the more times you say it… More a moment, I allow myself to pause. Worry my lip, look away. Then I push back my hair behind my ears and look back at hum, refreshed. Surprising me, when I look back, he’s looking at me. I whisper. “Is that how you feel?”

A moment of meaning passes, before slowly he nods. A more meaningful significant, and consequential then the other nods -other movements, -, simply because its slower. It feels like he’s seriously agreeing with me, like he’s saying ‘Yes, yes. That’s how I feel, I agree. You aren’t alone’.

Its honestly the most understood that I’ve felt since she died. Even her mother wouldn’t look up from the funeral pamphlet and I haven’t seen her since. But Jason, feels like me. Just another flavour, and another face.

Taking a deep breath, with tears filling my eyes now, I nod and take his hand. “Yeah… yeah. I’m sorry about that.”

“One day it’ll get better.”

Mayor Buckman:

I cross my arms and lean back on the house, watching the townspeople as the go about their day. One in particular, troubles me who I don’t let up my disappointed gaze on for minutes, as he bobs through town with an obnoxious smile on his face. All week, I’ve watched Buckman to make sure he’s okay after the funeral, and he’s failed every single test.

She entrusted me with his wellbeing and health, and I’m going to take it seriously. Because, although I don’t have as high a appreciation for his existence as she did due to him… well, trying to kill me and feed me to his crazy people, I acknowledge how he changed, for her. While she was here, the death toll in Pleasant Valley went down to all time low from the last century. Because, he had something to continue for, I guess.

But now he’s desperate to go, and although that makes sense, and I can accept it, even if it meant my last connection to her would be lost, he’s going too fast. He hasn’t even given himself time to mourn. She died, and he’s acting like she just left and he’s going to be seeing her real soon. Which, of course, may be true… But she died. Its going to tear him apart if he doesn’t sit down a second and stop grinning so crazy wide.

It’s a bit scary, actually. How full on he is right now.

As a couple new victims -teenagers, on spring break. Nothing new, - who’ve agreed to stay the night go to the room’s they’ll be staying in, our revered Mayor disappears into his home, uncharacteristically. Curious, I push off the wall and follow. “Buckman?”

“Oh,” Is the only response at first, which I take as ‘Please, come in!’, and do. It’s a very wonky ‘Oh’, coming out twisted around every which way, like you were feeling one way and tried to sound a different way. Chewing the inside my cheek, I creep across loud ass floorboards to the livingroom. There, he’s standing by the window with the blinds closed. He looks tired as hell, somehow. I don’t know how a ghost can look so exhausted, but he does. And it’s a weird thing to see on the usually vibrant southerner. “I was just looking for my good handkerchief, this one’s got the wrong pattern- doesn’t match.”

“Oh, stop it.” I walk on in and sit myself down on the couch, patting the spot beside me for him, bossily. “Why don’t you just mourn?”

He gives me a forced smile, not at all in it, and pointedly refuses to sit with me. Oh, boy. “One doesn’t mourn, when you know you’ll see them again soon.”

Okay, ignoring the fact that neither of us know exactly what happens after you really die and he could just disappear into nothingness rather then see her again because we don’t want to make him mad… Changing tact, I turn to him inquisitively. “Buckman, what are you gonna do when you see her again? What do you wanna do?”

“Ah, well, first I’ll intend to hug the stuffing out a’ her, but after that I believe it’s become a bit personal, and we don’t have that relationship my dear.”

“Okay.” Let’s move past that, because the last thing I want in my head is this man and my sisters bedroom activities. My face darkens determinedly, causing Buckman to squint suspiciously at what I’m about to throw at him. “Well, if you don’t sit down and be sad for more then the 2 seconds it takes for you to meaninglessly switch handkerchiefs, you won’t have the energy to do that. You’ll probably faint, if you can even do that in heaven or… wherever you’re going, and then there will be no hugging.” His face darkens, because he knows I’m right. I lean forward towards him, and reiterate. “No hugging. Zip!”

“Okay!” He raises his hands, begging me to stop causing a self-satisfied smile to come to my face. For a moment more, he thinks -I’m sure, - about leaving and avoiding this again like he has bene since she died, but catches my eye and that does it. He gives a defeated sigh, and sits down beside me. I change my expression to sympathetic, because I know how he feels. She was my sister. I loved her, too.

Awkwardly, I drop a couple pats on his back, as he sits doubled over with his face in his hands. Then even ore awkwardly, I cough into my shoulder. “Tea?”

“Ahhh, yes please.”

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: 

I grip my spoon so tightly that my knuckles go completely white, but I let him go. Hoyt leaves the room, and the house, and I manage not to scream at him to come back and face me, because Luda Mae asked me to. That’s the only reason I didn’t throw the spoon at him.

… But, he’s crossed a line.

So, I push out of the seat and stomp past Thomas in his breakfast seat and Luda Mae pouring him water and out the door after him. “Oh, Charlie!!”

“Who the fuck- “He turns around, as he was heading for his car and his eyes land on me. Immediately they darken from being irritated, to mad and promptly, sticks up his middle finger at me. I grit my teeth, reach him and snatch it out of the air, throwing his hand back to his side. “What do you want, I’m a busy man.”

“You’re fucking unemployed, shut your trap.” I point with my thumb back into the house, and incredulously at him. “What the hell was that?? I haven’t seen a face like that on Luda Mae… e-ever. Ever. I have never seen her that hurt. What the fuck??”

The look Luda’s face appears in the forefront of my mind again, that appeared on her delicate features right after Hoyt told her to ‘shut the fuck up’. He has never used language like that at her before. God, her face. It was a horrible mix of shocked, and destroyed. She thought, we all thought, that if Hoyt still cared and respected anyone in this family then it was her. Evidently, we were wrong.   The fire in my eyes intensify, thinking about the flagrant disrespect. To her! Of all people! That sweet woman! Since I came here, with (Your Friend Who Was With Hoyt’s Name), she has been the kindest.

Hoyt, the least kind. So, I feel zero guilt in tearing him a new one out here.

Oh, you go ahead and flare those nostrils at me Hoyt, I’m not moving. “It’s a family matter, you can stick your nose out of it.”

“Oh,” I say, clutching my heart. “I’m wounded!” He doesn’t think I’ve heard that one before? Well, he’s more of a moron then I thought. “Bottom line, Hoyt, I haven’t seen you be that awful, since you fell in love with- “

“Don’t you dare say her name.” He warns, opening the car door and plopping himself in the front seat. He tries to slam the door shut, but I plant myself between him the door, and hold it open making him deeply sigh. Seeing I wasn’t about to leave, he promptly picks up his gun and a rag and starts cleaning it.

“The person you became with her is worth being. She would never forgive you if you crumpled now. I, would never forgive you.” I point to the house again. “She’s turning in her grave!!”

Hoyt scoffs, a cough of a laugh nearly, and continues to wipe his gun off- of what? I have no idea. He’s just cleaning his gun. Which looks perfectly clean to me. “Well she ain’t here, is she?” He looks up at me next, and the look in his eyes is cold, but not cold enough to force me to back down. “And I don’t remember us ever being friends.”

“Hah, we weren’t.” We will never be. “But guess what? I’m here and I’m here to stay. I won’t let you spiral into a crotchety mess, or even more of a disgusting mess then you’ve always been even with her. And I won’t exactly like it, but I’ll live with it. Because- “

“I don’t need any of your help, honey- “

“Because,” I continue, through grit teeth. His eyes flash at getting cut off, and of course, I revel in it. “I loved her too. I won’t let you become something she would hate. She loved you. Far be it me to understand why, but she did. You could see it in her face, and the way she talked to you. And it hurts so bad, imagining what she might be thinking, watching you now. If she could see you, if she’s seeing you, whatever your stance on religion, she would be heartbroken.”

He looks up, and this time squints at me. “You think I care what she would feel?”

At that little remark, I slam the door in his face, and lean close to the window. “Yes.”

[sugarwaterradio]

Professional Athlete: Hollywood Pedophiles Are Real, Drink Adrenochrome

Boxer David Rodriguez usually fights in the band. But lately, the martial artist came out to provide his 2 cents on Hollywood pedophilia rings. Assuming you are not aware, an increasing number of is coming out that reveals there’s a major issue in Hollywood, and anywhere else. The viral documentary, Out of Shadows sheds lighting on just how bad things are actually. by Marco De Francis, visitor writer Rodriguez states he’s connections in Hollywood and will verify that there’s an enormous kid abuse issue that’s been going on for many years. Heavyweight Boxer, David Rodriguez, Says Hollywood Pedos Actually are Real And’ actually Drink Adrenochrome’ Though the great news is actually there is a sting operation trying to have it all down. And any day today, news of most of this is going to hit the presses, based on Rodriguez. Within the video below, Rodriguez directs the world what he understands. He claims that there are actually pedophile rings currently being taken down. That there are actually kids sacrifices where folks in fact drink adrenochrome. Adrenochrome is a drug produced from tortured individuals, typically kids. In case you believe that is all ridiculous bull have you noticed that?

Adrenochrome How about this adrenochrome patent. Or perhaps the one. Rumor has it, best pedophile rings as well as human trafficking facilities, pick the drug from tortured kids. Rodriguez says he understands folks in Hollywood and states it’s genuine. Perhaps Barack Obama’s brother printer hl2270dw has published about this on twitter. Malik Obama? ObamaMalik On top of all the that…THIS!? 3,045 folks are actually speaking about this But before you decide to go grab the bottle of yours of Bourbon to drown at bay the tears of yours, which happens to be a very standard reaction, you need to recognize that people that are good are actually doing a thing about it. Rodriguez says I gotta inform you, a great deal of you do not love Trump though he is doing the best thing right now. Rodriguez is not the only one that believes that.

Have you ever read of QAnon? This’s the alleged optimistic military operation which is actually taking down the full state. And frankly, after dumping through a huge number of Q posts & proofs, I feel it actually is what it promises to be. Check out this Q evidence video clip, and in case you’ve proof that disproves it, make sure you write about it with me. Since I could not disprove any kind of of it. Should we trust Rodriguez? I do not understand. He is simply speaking into the fujifilm finepix a303 in an off-the-cuff approach. Though the testimony of his may result in an investigation. Or perhaps, at the very least it must, in case you ask me. I will not theorize way too significant about what he means with all he says. But in case you put the testimony of his to the dozens of specifics, including Allison Mack’s participation for NXIVM, Harvey Weinstein’s conviction, as well as Jeffrey Epstein’s murder ahem – excuse me – suicide, next it is beginning to are like there actually is a tremendous pedophile network about high profile individuals. And based on the documentary Rodriguez speaks regarding, Out of Shadows, other officials and the CIA are definitely covering up institutional kid abuse. https://youtu.be/MY8Nfzcn1qQ Here is the video clip of Rodriguez. Below the video, is actually the entire unedited transcript. https://youtu.be/C0Ef1hHpFlM START OF TRANSCRIPT As you all know I have been engaged in boxing and becoming a pro athlete for a quite a while. And um.. I have created several connections.. I have created several effective connections with mma fighters, UFC figures, expert fighters. I have been in this arena, where I rub shoulders with several big names. You know. I have existed Tony Robbins. I have been about, you know I have absent out there with like Opera. I have gone out with a great deal of people that are big. And had.. you understand been in a position to meet a great deal of people that are big as well as talk to them like I am speaking to you all. I just need to point out one thing. And I understand a great deal of you’re doubting that. But this’s the truth, male. There’s a huge sting performance going down. It is happening, and I am telling you male These pedophile rings are now being taken down. It is ahh Hollywood ain’t awesome any longer. Hollywood is actually going down. And I still speak to the sources of mine. I still speak to folks. Which are required and Pay attention. There’s a huge operation going down. And they are And they are getting taken out. And everyday is actually confirmation to me. It is an It is a secretive thing. Though I believe it is likely to come out. They are saying it is likely to turn out on the press um when it is all said as well as done. And I think what is going to happen is actually going to truly shock a great deal of you. I mean a great deal of you’re gonna kinda comb this off & be similar to, I always knew it was there. Though I do not believe you realize just how common this pedophile rings truly are in Hollywood. And also within um In the sports activities arenas.. And in Hollywood And for political arena I mean almost everywhere male. It is awful. And It is ahh It’s man trafficking. You discover And sex trafficking is actually probably the hottest thing, probably the biggest commodity right now. And I think um Once that all is released to the surface area a great deal of you’re likely to be disgusted & and feel extremely dirty for perhaps knowing the info. Um I gotta inform you, a great deal of you do not love Trump though he is doing the best thing right now. This guy is actually uh spearheading this entire thing it is an impressive thing to watch. They are moving following the cartels with man trafficking. They are going after the kid pedophilia rings All these highways lead to Clinton Foundation as well as Haiti. They lead to I am trying not to hand out a lot of info but um Jeffrey Epstein you understand, everyone knows he did not kill himself. Um Harvey Weinstein is actually dropping substantial quantities of info. Ah There is a lot going on right this moment. And it is gon na come to the surface area. And you all are planning to see that. And you all are actually going to experience something happen that is just absolutely amazing. We have to protect the children of ours, male. We are just You know Corey Haim is actually approaching available with documentaries. These individuals are wanting to leak info. Though it is all likely to come out at the proper time. And ah like I stated Hollywood is actually going down. It is fucking going down! It is sinking as the Titanic. And they are all attempting to bail themselves out there. And they are all attempting to jump ship. And several of probably the biggest celebrities that you understand were involved with this specific shit. And I am not going to disclose any names But um I’ve friends that are I am gonna just say it I am not bragging or maybe anything that way. Though I’ve friend are actually A list celebrities that are actually people that are good and they shed a number of names to me I was as whoa! I can’t think that. I mean I cannot You think You cannot realize that you will find kids sacrifices where folks in fact drink adrenochrome. Where they terrify the kid very much And this’s tough to swallow This’s difficult to even grasp though it is a real ancient ritual to terrify primarily kids, because they are a lot more clean, they are adrenal glands are more clean terrorize them to the stage where they are very afraid and they are pumping out very much adrenaline and they are and so terrified. And you eventually eliminate them and you consume the blood of theirs and it as the supreme aphrodisiac, it is as the water fountain of youth. It rebuilds collagen. And it And it ahh.. does many sorts of ahh enhancements because of the body. It is a sick. It is a sick, sick, sick, ill, ritual ceremonies. And today they bottle it up as well as promote it within the vials. And folks purchase that shit. It is a drug. And in case you see You know I have looked at before and subsequent to pics of several of these celebrities that were on adrenochrome, allegedly, and next off and it looks as they aged 20 to 30 years in a question of a month. This shits real. And I do not care whether ya’ll telephone call me looney, a conspiracy theorist. I am not. I understand others in that company that that ahh are actually verifying to me what I realize. And this’s an operation moving down. And I cannot wait to notice these dominos fall male these parts of shit get removed, trigger it is time. And I feel I actually do think, on a religious level, it is a question of a mass awakening taking place at this time. I think our earth is actually going through a worldwide shift of consciousness to the place we’re all waking up and discovering the simple fact of what what actually is this matrix what’s actually going on in this particular truth. And I believe that um that we are likely to haver to cope with a great deal of great and a great deal a large amount of ugly. And bring about you gotta have both. You gotta understand the dark side as well as the good side. And I think the deep side is actually likely to reveal itself. And you all are actually likely to be extremely very um bothered by that. And disgusted. I mean, in case are actually In case you’ve some sort of effective grain left in you or perhaps some great of a morality, you are gonna be disgusted with everything you see. Ahh You know I am sitting back patiently with this particular quarantine kinda knowing this info kinda like, impress this shit is actually going down. I everyone knows the economy isn’t going to actually be the exact same. I do not understand what is going to take place there. There’ s rumors serotonin to a gold backed dollar. And eliminating the Fed. I cannot I cannot validate any of this Though I can I feel comfortable enough I do understand the pedophile rings are actually going down. And we’ve ships in the Caribbean at this time intercepting medications. Trump has sent large battleships out they are fighting the cartels. I mean This’s going down. Now I believe that the virus was a worldwide episode by way of a it would have been a bioweapon. I do think that. I believe the virus does are available but never to the level they say it’s. I think Fucking everybody is actually dying of this coronavirus but wig ahh.. breaking down of various other ailments and then they are thinking it is the coronavirus. I do not realize I am skeptipal skeptical about everything that. Though I do know Hollywood is actually going down today. And I just needed to say the little piece of mine. There’s a silver lining within this within this particular quarantine and in this particular lockdown. And I feel all of us simply have to be patient to find out what surfaces. And it’s going to um There’s a documentary online which came out that a good friend sent me called From the Shadows It is possibly in the shadows of from shadows. But I’ve to check out. I believe it is out the shadows. And it is on YouTube I ahh.. I will check it out. Um it is actually good. Goes in level about this material. And um You are gonna to simply find out how disturbing and just how ill these fucking individuals are actually. Um Ahh You learn Sigh You understand, right now everybody just stay diligent. You know Keep your sessions simple. It is an exciting moment to be alive in the opinion of mine. I believe this’s an extremely exciting moment to be alive. Though I think a great deal of earth shattering breakthroughs are actually likely to be occurring. You know I believe the path where going is actually like for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. And I believe we are going to begin coming into a great deal of ahh ahh preventive medication, remedies organic ahh You know treatments as well as um remedies for diseases. And I believe we are going to have a lot of breakthroughs today is such an exciting moment to be alive. So that is the positive note of mine on it. And I believe many of us have to um pay attention.. you understand I am learning how you can mediate now. I am praying each day. I am staring to you realize I never ever used to do that within boxing. I was constantly go go go go go locomotive locomotive train locomotive battle strong guy. And now Im beginning to sit just and back you know as enjoy the view as look at the perspective You know like That is all of Mexico above there. All of Mexico. All right there. I am simply enjoying going out edge. I am enjoying being with the family of mine. I am truly keeping it simple. And simply quite ahh down to earth male Though I am telling you what is happening today is a really very exciting time. So pay attention. Keep the ears of yours to the ground. And understand that things that are big are happening. And I am I am convinced on that. Um yeah what it is in no way going to be the exact same. I think the same as when the web came out it altered humanity. It altered consciousness for you understand humanity’s consciousness. It was a change the internet. There is pre internet and then there is each technology was moving somewhat.. it had been moving slower all through time, for a huge number of years. But as soon as the web struck boom, it was as an explosion of technological breakthroughs and information and ingenuity and inventiveness, directly after the web. I believe that was a change in the planet, right. I was a change a change in consciousness. I believe the exact same thing is taking place today with this worldwide shutdown um the economy actually being wrecked. I believe it is going to permanently shift the consciousness of ours. And we are moving into a more religious way of being in case you chose the route in case you chose the route. And I believe it is really important that um we concentrate on the great things. We we go inside. And um actually pay attention to ourselves as well as what we really want in daily life and be a lot more innovative. Anyway that is my 2 cents. Thank you just about all for tuning wearing. Um I just needed to provide my 2 cents, that is it. Thank you all. You’ve a great day. I am hoping you love the day. Go for a stroll. Go for an operate. Um Looking at all of the folks asking questions I cannot read lead to the sun’s in the face of mine a little bit. But yeah it is a paradigm change, Sonya. It is a paradigm shift. And so huge things happening. And I feel we simply gotta be patient.

https://www.music-realestate.com/quick-radio-play/ Read the full article

[alisemartinez91]

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[theconservativebrief]

Adam Driver has it, as did Carrie Fisher. It fuels Themyscira and her Amazons. Imperator Furiosa and Mad Max both have it. Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor wield it, as does Angela Merkel. So do Tilda Swinton, Cher, and Cate Blanchett. Johnny Cash had it, same with Prince and David Bowie. LeBron James, Serena Williams, and Katie Ledecky have it, too.

If you look hard enough, it’s everywhere around you. So is its absence.

We are talking about Big. Dick. Energy.

Big Dick Energy (BDE) is the unavoidable subject of the minute on social media. What began as a joke inspired by the death of one of the premiere possessors of BDE has since sparked an all-consuming cultural urge to determine who possesses it and who is lacking — as well as the urge to define it, which raises some trickier questions.

What is BDE? Does one need colossal male genitalia to possess it? How do we spot it? How does one obtain it? And why would one want to?

No doubt, the concept of BDE and the discussion it ignites are entertaining — but beneath the initial jolt of faux-erotic titillation and scandal is a bigger conversation about how we talk about masculinity and admiration. BDE is as fascinating as it is frustrating, in that you don’t need to be a man or have prodigious genitalia to possess it, nor does it necessarily refer to anything sexual, but rhetorically it’s still very much dick-dependent. And as we sort various members of society into those who have BDE and those who don’t, it ultimately says a lot about us and what we value.

A warning to those with delicate sensibilities: This piece includes some colorful descriptions of male junk.

BDE’s origin story begins with death. This month saw the death of chef/author/food personality Anthony Bourdain, a man known for his taste, intelligence, and irreverence when it came to food and travel. Bourdain had pure grit coursing through his veins, and the courage to try to change the way we look at the world.

And when he died, Twitter user @imbobswaget coined the term Big Dick Energy to eulogize him:

we’re talking about how anthony bourdain had big dick energy which is what he would have wanted

— vampire workday (@imbobswaget) June 9, 2018

At first glance, remembering Bourdain’s legacy in connection with his genitalia might seem crass, but it works because Bourdain wasn’t afraid to be crass and humorous when the situation called for it. It’s not hard to imagine Bourdain laughing, possibly in a Vietnamese phở shack, if someone told him he was going to be remembered for having the air of someone possessing gargantuan reproductive organs.

That tweet went viral, amassing over 6,000-plus “likes,” but it took another factor to make BDE taxonomy inescapable: the alleged mythic proportions of Ariana Grande fiancé’s penis.

In a screenshot of a since-deleted tweet — which may or may not be photoshopped — Ariana Grande, a sentient affogato with a four-octave vocal range, intimated that her fiancé Pete Davidson’s Pete Davidson is around 10 inches long. This rapidly invited speculation that the magnitude of Davidson’s endowment might be one of the reasons Grande and Davidson got engaged after a short time dating, as Twitter user @babyvietcong noted:

Pete davidson is 6’3 with dark circles, exudes big dick energy, looks evil but apparently is an angel, and loves his girl publicly the only thing wrong w him is that he’s a scorpio but anyway…..id married him within a month too

— Tina (@babyvietcong) June 23, 2018

That tweet also went viral, further cementing BDE in the public consciousness.

But the thing to remember here, even though Grande’s tweet about Davidson refers to literal inches, is that Davidson and Bourdain are connected by the concept of BDE — emphasis on the E — as opposed to literally possessing big genitalia. It’s more about attitude and personality than it is anatomy.

“What we’re talking about is really more of an aura, a vibe,” Allison P. David wrote for The Cut. “There are men with Big Dicks, but who do not ooze BDE. There are men with average to little ones who can have so much BDE you’re surprised to find that their wang does not touch their knee.”

BDE is not about brandishing large, flapping genitalia when someone insults you, or constantly proving to people that you possess a BD. BDE is the complete opposite. It’s the self-confidence to know that a colossal endowment isn’t a measurement of one’s value. BDE might stem from having a literal BD, but it’s not dependent upon any sort of genitalia. And in fact, perhaps the epitome of BDE is the complete security of not needing other people’s benchmarks — wealth, intelligence, beauty, or a BD — to know one’s own worth.

Any suspicion of tryhard vibes kills BDE, as does the kind of cockiness that speaks of insecurity: the true BDE-haver is respectful to those around them, but with swagger. Someone with BDE will never text an unsolicited dick pic, because it would simply never occur to them.

But if we’re talking about aspirational levels of confidence and security when we talk about BDE, and how BDE isn’t necessarily dick-dependent, it raises the question of why we’re all so enamored with making it all about the D.

Rihanna demonstrates the feminine strain of BDE at this year’s Met Ball. AFP/Getty Images

We’ve established that BDE is an emotional rather than physical attribute: Rihanna does not have a dick, but she has BDE for days. Bourdain’s eagerness to learn from those around him was part of what gave him BDE. Chris Evans’s lack of arrogance is why he is the Hollywood Chris who most often makes the BDE list, while Hemsworth’s jock vibes and Pratt’s faint smarm disqualify them. (Pine maybe has BDE. It’s a debate the public deserves to have.)

Needless to say, any hint of misogyny destroys BDE. No one involved in the building of Gilead had any BDE whatsoever (they had the opposite, what you might call Tiny Hand Energy), but Themyscira, the island of the Amazons in Wonder Woman, runs on BDE.

That is why the inverse and the spawn of BDE is toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity is what the Good Men Project calls “the cultural ideal of manliness, where strength is everything while emotions are a weakness; where sex and brutality are yardsticks by which men are measured, while supposedly ‘feminine’ traits — which can range from emotional vulnerability to simply not being hypersexual — are the means by which your status as ‘man’ can be taken away.” It’s the belief that in order to be a “real man” you must be strong to the point of cruelty and never feel anything, and it underlies violent and damaging ideologies like that of incels and the alt-right.

Toxic masculinity is an unsuccessful attempt to mimic BDE, and then furious resentment when that mimicry becomes impossible. It is the belief that you are owed the kind of easy confidence that comes with BDE, and then a desire to destroy the world that has not granted it to you. “I was not born Chris Evans, so fuck you all.”

But while BDE and toxic masculinity are opposites, they come from the same not-great source (your fave is problematic, meme edition), which is the belief that men’s worth is in some mystical, Freudian way linked to the size of their penises.

Reducing men’s worth to their bodies is not harmful in the same way that it is harmful to do the same to women: one of the ways that the patriarchy systemically oppresses women is by reducing them to their bodies. Joking about big dick energy does not reinforce systemic sexism. What it does do is reinforce a system of masculinity that eventually leads to toxic masculinity. BDE as a quality has nothing to do with actual dicks and is valuable regardless of the actual genitalia of its possessor, but our collective cultural impulse is to link it rhetorically to penis size. The dick part of BDE is just a metaphor, but that metaphor is not value-neutral.

On the other hand: As far as reinforcing the gender binary goes, making jokes about which celebrities have big dick energy is a pretty harmless and entertaining pastime, and here in the dark days of 2018 we need all of that we can get. And labels aside, BDE is all about celebrating a masculine-coding energy that is constructive rather than toxic, and respectful rather than violent.

Anyway, Cate Blanchett has BDE, and so does Stanley Tucci.

Original Source -> How Big Dick Energy explains modern masculinity

via The Conservative Brief