#and she closed them cuz 'they didnt seem necessary' maybe not necessary FOR YOU

[spookberry]

I let my mom borrow my laptop to answer some emails cuz she broke hers and after i got it back I opened it to the sight of her having Closed All My Tabs😭

[kyinpeachichu]

Genshin impact boys reaction to showing them your magical serenitea pot

===================================================Basically their reaction when you show them a whole adeptal world of your own inside something that can fit in a bag. Characters mentioned: Diluc; Kaeya; Childe/tartaglia; Zhongli; Bennett; Xiao; Kazuha; Albedo. ====================================================

Diluc:

"Your house? I never knew you actually had a place to stay."

- Aaaannnndddddd he turns you down cuz he's busy at the moment.

- You had to ask him a few times but he pretty much turned you down every time.

-He didn't mean anything bad by it. He really was just busy. He still is the dark knight hero after all.

- When he had free time though, he was sitting by himself in his room, and he feels like he's forgetting something.

- Then he remembered you and he thought "Well I have free time now. It would be interesting to see where the traveler lives."

- He went out to find you, and when he did, he brought it up.

- You were so excited and happy when you pulled out your teapot from your inventory..... that it confused him for a second.

- "Oh... uh, I didn't know you collected antiques too Traveler. Is that a new decoration you found for you home?"

- To be honest he thought the teapot looked kinda normal, and it didn't have any historic value by the looks of it. But he didn't want to be rude and question your tastes.

- You looked at him for a second before remembering that you actually have to explain

- "Oh, right. This may be a little confusing but...... this teapot, is my house......"

- Diluc was just straight up confused. He didn’t know what to say. "Uh..... I see....."

- But you didn't let him wait and you let him your teapot home.

- He was surprised of course, but at the same time, he somehow knew something like this could happen to you.

- He was in awe, but he didn't show it. (Much to your disappointment)

Kaeya

"Oh my, Are you inviting me over? Well what gives me the right to say no?"

- you were happy he said yes almost immediately.

- "So, where do we go?" / "Oh, we dont need to go anywhere. My house is riigghhttt- Here!"

- He was surprised when you dug through you inventory and pulled out a teapot.

- He was confused but he didn't say anything.

-You didn't waste time pulling him into your humble abode~

- You turned to see his reaction, and you were happy to see it

- He showed more reaction than Diluc did. His one un-covered eye was open wide and his mouth was ajar. But he didn't let out so much as a gasp.

- After that he laughed and said "You never cease to amaze me Traveler."

Childe/Tartaglia/Ajax

"Sure, I dont have anything to do at the moment."

- and just like that, he agreed

- Being a rich bank owner- (*cough* sugar daddy), you can bet his home in snezhnaya will be a friggin mansion.

- He doesn't expect your house to be a mansion though. But if he sees that it's just an old shed, he's gonna buy you one.

- "So where is this home of yours?"

- You pulled out your teapot from the inventory and he didn't seem surprised.

- But he did wonder what that teapot was for.

- When you finally showed him what it was for, he definitely didn't expect a whole terrain. Much less the mansion infront of him.

- it was smaller than the one he had back home, but it was still a mansion.

- His face was full of wonder than with shock or surprise.

- "I gotta say comrade, when you said you we aking me to your house, I definitely did not expect this."

Zhongli:

"Your house you say. Well I dont have a reason to decline right?"

- To be fair, being an archon who associated with the adepti, he wasn't surprised and immediately knew the second you pulled out a teapot.

- However, the thing that surprised him most was how one of these fell into your hands.

- He cant assumed you found one on your travels. No adeptus would be so foolish as to leave something like this around for a human to find.

- Anyways, when you were both inside he immediately knew who gave it to you.

- "Ah, I see, it was madame Ping who gave thus to you."

- "How did you know?"

- "I feel a certain..... presence of hers. Also, the terrain seems to have her touch."

- He was pleased with how well decorated the place was. (Assuming you didn't fill the place with pine folding screens)

- (He was considering getting one too because he's probably too broke to get a place of his own)

- (But lets leave it to the imagination and hope he's living with Childe in the meantime)

Bennett:

"Oh, you have a house? Gotta say, since you were a traveler, I didnt actually expect you to have a place to stay. Sure I'll visit your house!"

- You dug through your inventory and presented him a teapot

- "Woah whats that? An artifact?" / "Nope, this is where I live."

- Then lo and behold your very own world!

- His eyes were ✨sparkling✨

- Probably have the best reaction out of everyone.

- "Wooaahhhh!!!! Traveler..... you live here?!? I-in the teapot?!? This is a teapot!?!"

- The boy was so excited, running around the place and exploring the whole place!

- He almost didn't even notice the giant mansion that was actually the place where you stayed.

- When you let him inside he was even more excited.

- He asked if he could stay the night before he was even aware he said it.

- And you let him, even gave the guy an extra room.

- "I gotta say traveler, you really are lucky to have a home right in your bag! And I'm lucky to be invited here. Thanks so much!"

- such a sweet boi

Xiao

"Perhaps I can spare some time. Alright, I'll come for a visit."

- Well he was alot easier to convince than you thought

- Actually no you had to find him all over liyue and whenever you did find him, he'd be too busy.

- This is like, the 6th time you asked him

- "Where is it? Is it somewhere within Liyue?"

- You got your teapot and he was confused for a second but immediately knew what it was later.

- before he could say anything you were both inside.

- He was more or less the same as Zhongli. Being an adeptus himself, he had an idea on what was going on, but was surprised you had access to this kind of adeptal magic.

- So sadly, he didn't have the best reaction except for: "Huh, I didn't know you had access to an adeptal world like this. Much less make it your home."

- "Do you like it Xiao?" / "Well ...I suppose it is quite peaceful here."

Kazuha

"An invitation to the home of the traveler who saved Inazuma? Well, it's not like the wind tells me not to."

- He had to ask permission from Beidou first before leaving. She didn't mind.

- "So traveler, where's this humble home of yours?"

- While still on Beidou's ship (cuz thats where he was), you took out your teapot, and he looked quiet puzzled.

- "Fogive me but, is there something you need with this teapot?"

- You let him in (the crew on the ship didn't even notice)

- He was amazed yes. His face looked like he was watching a firework show.

- It was night time in your teapot so the stars were out.

- "Amazing, a whole entire world, all to yourself, inside a simple trinket that a person could turn a blind eye on if it were at a flea market.

And to think suck a world could fit inside a bag, and in the palm of our hands. Traveler, you have always been one to be full of surprises."

- Aw god his poetic speech is just 👌👌👌 (and I'm putting in more)

- he closed his eyes and inhaled the air, listening for the slightest gust of wind. (Yes there is wind the the teapot I think, I do see the grass blowing)

- "It's quiet here, so peaceful. It feels like it's completely safe here. I could find the nearest rock and doze off right now. It's beautiful here traveler. Do you mind if I stay here, just a little longer."

- Boi you can live here for the rest of your life more rent free than Mona if you'd like!

Albedo

"Huh, I never thought a traveler would have the need for place to settle in and sit still for a period of time. But sure, I'd like to see your house. I'm not too busy at the moment"

- You were in his research place right in dragonspine when you asked him.

- He began to clean up his things and getting ready to go, but then you told him that wasn't necessary.

- "Hm? Aren't we leaving?"

- You brought out your teapot, and he looked at it like it you were holding a baby bird.

- "strange, why would we need a teapot traveler?"

- without any further explination you grinned and then you brought him in.

- He was in awe.

- his eyes widened slightly while his mouth fell ajar. But other than that, he was quiet.

- "Amazing, traveler, may I be so bold to ask on what sort of alchemy you used to create this? Or maybe, this isn't alchemy at all....."

- He was more curious about every explination there is to be made than the actual place you two were at.

[cvastals]

i brought forrest in like a month n a half ago then panic dropped him bt hes back w a vengeance......... this intro is fully jst copy n pasted from when i originally posted it bt . tosses it out anyway in case anyone hasnt read it before winks n struts into the sunset

* zethphan smith-gneist, demiboy + he/they | you know forrest abbott, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, their whole life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole golden retriever excitement when someone strikes up conversation, paint streaked overalls worn without care, polaroids of places travelled scattered across the wall thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 23rd, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

background.

for 10 years it was just forrest and his mama lydia in their cozy little trailer at lilac ridge, he’s never met his dad who left as soon as he discovered she was pregnant, not really interested in raising a kid with someone who struggled to get by even while working three jobs

from a young age forrest had to take care of himself since his mama worked sm, but he always got the concept that it was for him to live a good life and necessary for them to get by, she rly showed it well by making sure he knew how much she loved him whenever she cld b around :’)

it was around this time that things were starting to look up - his mama met a really nice man named marcel n while things moved really fast for them they seemed to be a perfect match, soon she was engaged and giving birth to triplets and they even moved into his place in aquila drive, everything was coming up roses

unfortunately as soon as things were good they sort of came to an immediate crash - lydia n marcel tried for another bebe before their wedding but she ended up having a miscarriage :( this sort of sent her into a depressive spiral for a really, really long time

it was bad enough that marcel eventually had enough, she wouldn’t take her medication, wouldn’t talk to a therapist, couldn’t even get out of bed, so he said she had to shape up or go back to their place in lilac ridge, and stubborn as she was she packed everything up that night and the 5 of them went back to their little trailer, this time with a lot less room and a lot more responsibility on forrest’s shoulders

since he was about 14 he’s juggled an abundance of jobs to help his family, it was especially hard when they moved back to lilac ridge, he mostly took care of his little brothers and mum when he could but he had school and work on top of it, it rly was the sort of stress no one shld go thru but he did at a rly young age for quite a long time

details.

still lives at lilac ridge w his family, his mum got a pretty well paying job as a psw but it’s still difficult when u have three 12 year olds running around so forrest watches over them a lot while working as a tour guide at the aquarium, selling art pieces at community events, and odd photography jobs, whatever will put money on the table

grew up incredibly shy and pretty anxious, he’s just used to people leaving so it’s hard for him to trust but he’s also a classic golden retriever boy, if people give him an inch he’ll take it right away but he struggles with approaching people himself, definitely wasn’t too popular in school bc of this

did a double major at the community college for photography and visual arts :yum:

he tries not to doo Too many photography jobs cuz he loves it more as his escape than anything, travels around irving a lot to find random locations and will just spend hours taking pictures, u cant see any of the walls in his tiny bedroom theyre jst covered in his own pictures and art

could paint for hours too tbh, does a lot of art classes whenever he has time and money to spare

has never been in a relationship or even with anyone, the most he’s done frankly is casual make outs at parties or wtvr, always kinda chickens out if it ever goes any further……….. has not picked up on the fact that hes a demisexual/demiromantic king<3 probs doesnt even kno what that is LKSHDGKLHSDG

bc of this wtvr friendships hes made hes definitely romanticized, frankly by accident, he can just grow attached quite easily and since hes demiromantic anytime hes ever had a crush on someone its been ppl hes close to n has learned to trust. it confuses him a lot. LKSDHGKLHSDLG

constantly walks around in paint covered clothes.

obsessed w 80s pop its easily his fav genre (taste)

ok i think thts all……….. i hv rn……………….. lks around hands on hips

connections.

childhood friends!!

also ppl who forced their way into his life, basically jst approached him first n as soon as they showed him any sort of kindness n affection he was automatically like . ok we’re attached fr life sis<3

neighbours at lilac ridge?? mayhaps??

ppl at parties who’ve made a move or he’s hooked up w but when it came down to the Nitty Gritty he was like . oh………….. i think my mums calling me……….. i gtg……………………….. jst no explanation. LKSHDGKLHDSGL

i rly lov the idea of him hvin someone he loves to use as his muse……. either fr his art or photography<3

mayb someone who he actually was almost in a relationship w once upon a time bt it jst didnt work out, timing was off or he backed out cuz he felt bad that he probs cldnt give them his full attention w helping his family etc.

coworkers at the aquarium!!

old college classmates/ppl who take art classes w him??

ok i think those r all the ideas i hv rn. we can also brainstorm. lets get wild.

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Kentarou is a delinquent werewolf who was taken in by Reader. Hes in his second year of highschool, a track kid whos involved with the wrong crowd. Till he meets the Schools volleyball Ace.

Part Four

Kyotani x Hajime

It was after school now and Kyotani was waiting for Hajime outside the school like he asked him too. Hands in his pockets and cigarette in his mouth with an angry expression on his face. He was only going for the food, thats it.   He groaned into the stone wall he was leaning on , switching his cigarette to the other side of his mouth with his tongue when Ayme ran over hugging his hips and dipping her fingertips into his pants. 

 “Let go” he told her, shimmying away  to lean back again.

“What are you doing ? we gotta get ready fo the party” she told him a little huffy.

“What party” he asked, puffing out smoke through his teeth, he could feel his wolf was agitated, he always was when Ayme was around him. 

Aymes parties were not parties, anything but; everyone was drunk or high and grinding on each other. Kyotani could not get drunk anymore since he was a werewolf so he just stuck to smoking his cigs while everyone practically threw themselves at him. He did not care much for it and often left unsatisfied each and every time.  Ayme and her friends often tried to play on his ‘ Mad Dog’ nick name during sex and it just pissed him and his wolf off more. His wolf tried to take over one time and Kyotani had to force him back down , he had never had to do it before and trying to focus while he had girls on him was not easy. He left as soon as he could to go change in the woods and kill something.

“My partry!! I told you about it at lunch!” 

“Mm..” he was looking around now.

“I know you dont drink but cmon baby.” she moved back to him touching his belt. “I promise this will be different”

 “Oh yeah?” he looked down at her puffing smoke in her face

“Ack.. yes! We were talking and… what if we let you tie us up?”

“Id tie you sluts to the bed and leave” Hajime was finally coming into view

“Hmph!” Ayme stepped back folding her arms. “Just you wait , youll show up at my door one day begging for me” her tone changed and she ran a hand down his tone chest. “And you can do whatever you want big boy”

“Am i interrupting something?” Hajime came over to see Kyotani looking very pissed off and Ayme touching his hips. 

“yes you are!” she told him “we -”

Kyotani pushed her off and started walking. “ no, were done talking”

“Hey! Kyotani! Just cuz your a third year doesn't mean you can interrupt !”

Hajimie flashed her a smile “ sorry, but i have no idea who you are” and left to catch up with Kyotani.

**

Hajime jogged over to the angry boy and slowed to a walk next to him.

“So are you gonna ask where my house is or are you gonna walk around aimlessly?” Kyo puffed some smoke looking in the other direction.

“Do you need to let anyone know your not going right home?”

“Pfft..”

“Hey uh, you think you could put that out?”

Kyotani stopped walking to give Hajime a glare, his cigarette shining bright red at the end. Hajime stopped and gave Kyotani a happy grin. “Smoking is bad man, pretty please? “

“Screw off” 

Hajime got closer, rubbing on Kyotanis side whispering in his ear . “for me? Mad Dog?”

He jumped in his skin feeling goosebumps travel from his neck to his chest . “the fucks your problem?” Kyo said moving away hitting a stone wall leaving him no options for a exit. Hajime walked over cornering him but left his left side open , 

 “Im just looking out for you.” he flashed a smile and Kyotani felt his wolf stur around in him, he felt slightly aroused as well. Why though? The fuck. This was just some volleyball kid , no one important. He didnt need anyone, not you , not Ayme and not him.

“ i can look after myself”

“Even when your backs against the wall?”

“Yes”

Hajime backed off giving Kyotani some space. “Look. you can damage your body over time by smoking, happend to my dad ,thats all. “ he looked away scratching the back of his head talking a little low. “Just dont want to lose you yet , you seem cool..”

Kyotani had enhanced hearing thanks to his wolf and Hajimes words made his heart skip a beat, he could call him out on it if he wanted to . but he was confused by these feelings.

“What?” was what he finally said.

“Nothing, you like hamima chicken?”

“Fuck yes i do”

“Good! Cuz i've got plenty” 

Kyotani watched Hajime walk past him with a smile on his face. Kyotani stood there for a minute trying to focus on his wolf. “ knock it off…” he told himself as he flicked his cigarette away to catch up with Hajime.

**

Kyotani was sitting at the island in Hajimes kitchen watching him make the Hamima chicken, no one else was home yet so it was just them, his wolf was still on edge and he was even more aroused now. What was his problem? Its just Hajime, no one important.  Kyotani caught himself looking at the boys chest a alot and his arms, so tone.. Lean.. fuck. He shook his head and looked down pulling out his phone.

Kyotani/ Ma

Y.n/ yes kyo? Are you alright?

Kyotani/ im at a 

He looked up to see Hajime still cooking , he looked down at his phone again.

Kyotani/ im at a friends house, his name is Hajime so ill be home later

You were at work staring at your phone with utter disbelief on your face. Kyo never told you where he was or texted you.  And it was a boys home and not that.. Ayme girl.

Y.n/ okay Kyo, ill see you tonight, have a good time. 

Kyotani looked up again to see the food in front of him on a plate with a water and Hajime leaning on the table looking pretty smug.  Kyotani picked up the food taking a rough bite out of it. “Like it ?” Hajime asked coming around the island to sit next to the quiet boy.

“Its fine” 

“Just fine? Im hurt.”

“Pft..” Kyotani looked away still eating and felt a finger on his cheek scoop up some food . Kyotani looked back to see Hajime eating the piece of chicken. His face felt like it was on fire , Hajime leaned close to Kyotani whispering in his ear. 

“You can at least say it tastes good… i worked so hard on it”

“Maybe you need to pull it out of me”

“Oh yeah?” Hajime smirked moving back a bit. “Throw a dog a bone?

Kyotani was feeling very flustered and aroused at everything happening. Never before had he had any interest in guys, his wolf was not fighting it or trying to rip him to shreds . Hajime leaned back in his seat spreading his legs slightly and leaning on the island. Kyotani put his food down and looked Hajime up and down, his wolf forcing him up off the chair.

“Cmere Mad Dog” Hajime said low.

His wolf forced him to take a step forward , Kyotani gripped the island leaning down so he was eye level with the smirking boy.  

 “Yes?” Hajime asked, leaning forward taking in Kyotanis scent.” you smell like cigarettes”

“I dont care, i -..” his voice trailed off once he felt Hajime brush his lips against his. Kyotani sucked in air and Hajime pulled him on his lap . “cmon Mad Dog, loosen up for me” he lightly pressed his lips against the confused boys mouth. 

“Ff!” Kyotani stumbled into the boys lap falling into his kiss. He laid his arms on the boys shoulders, kissing him back , his wolf was rejoicing inside him, he never felt better than he does right now. Normally he would make Kyotani growl at Ayme and her slutty friends but right now he was pushing Kyotani in more,

 Kyotani pulled away breathing through his mouth staring at the boy in front of him watching him lick his lips and bite the bottom one. Hajime rested his hands on the tall boys hips leaning back in the chair rubbing in little circles with his thumbs.

“You haven't killed me yet” The smug boy said.

“Shut up..” Kyotani sat down on the boys lap looking everywhere but him, he could feel his gaze on him though.

“Have you never kissed a guy before?”

Kyotani growled looking back at the boy and Hajime pursed his lips together smiling big. 

“Im flattered, “

“Pft..” 

“I guess i shouldint of done that, your girlfriend will be upset”

“Girlfriend?”

“That girl touching you after school”

Kyotani clicked his tongue leaning forward a bit till their elbows connected. “Shes not my girlfriend, just a quick fuck.” his lips were tingling from the kiss still.”unsatisfying fuck” He added, even though it was not really necessary . 

Hajime pulled Kyotani closer, smelling the cigarettes in his clothes still, he looked down looking for the pack of smokes on his person. Kyotani’s heart was racing. He wanted more, why ? why was his wolf trying to get him to do more?  It felt nice .. was that it? Feeling nice is .. nice…

 Kyotanis hands lingered down from Hajimes shoulders to his neck drifting down to the boys chest , his thumbs pulling it up. He had gotten the shirt half way up taking in his tone chest. From all that stupid volleyball obviously. No cuts or anything , no bruises.. His left hand held the shirt up while his right one felt all around the boys chest. He could hear Hajime breathing pick up in his ear and Kyotanis heart was going nuts, he ran his fingers all along his chests slowly… slowly moving down to his pants. His fingers gliding along the black belt.  

 Hajime had found the pack of smokes in Kyotanis pocket and reached in taking them out and holding them up leaning back in the chair, he also pulled his shirt back down .

  “This needs to stop, if you want to do more”

“Excuse me?”

“The smoking”

“What makes you think i want to do more huh ?”

Hajime patted the boys hips with his free hand . “still sitting on me”

“Shut up..” he got up off the boys lap walking into the island.

“And well..” he pouted when he saw his lap was empty , “you were getting pretty handsy” Hajime looked up and lifted his shirt teasing the werewolf. “Pretty sure i felt hands on my belt too”

Kyotani huffed looking away at the fridge ignoring the arousal in his pants. Hes just another guy, no one important. Just take the smokes back Kyotani..

 “Im unsure about all of this”  he finally said.

“Im okay with friends with benefits, but the smoking needs to stop” Hajime got up still holding the pack. 

 “Fine”

“Fineeee?”

“Ill stop fucking smoking”

He held the pack out shaking it around lightly. “Break each and everyone one of these sticks in here if your serious”

Kyotani snatched the smokes from him opening it up , he reached for one and stopped to stare at the 7 smokes.  Its not like he paid for these smokes, Ayme always supplied him with them. He would never get sick from them because of his wolf so he could technically keep doing it without a problem… but … Hajime would smell it on him and .. he cant say why he wont get sick..He pulled a couple out of the pack halfway and broke them. Why..?  why was he..? A couple more snapped. He never listened to what anyone said, so why was he doing this? Why did he care? Another, one left.  Something about snapping these smokes was .. relieving. His wolf was happy and he felt stronger. Snap.  the pack fell on the island and Hajime smiled up at the angry boy. 

 “You actually did it.”

“Were you expecting me not too ?”

Hajime got closer to the boy running a hand up and down his chest. “Yeah if im honest, felt like you were gonna tell me to fuck off”

“Pft..” Kyotani touched Hajimes chest lifting the shirt again. 

“Like what you see?” he teased pulling Kyotani closer

“Shut up”

“Cmon… be a good boy for me” He whispered in his ear

Kyotani felt his cock feel hot at those words, good...boy..

“Sit down then.”

Hajime pulled back sitting back in his chair , his arm leaning on the island to support his head, he rubbed his lap slowly. “Okay, sitting.”

Kyotani rubbed his shoulder trying to ignore the tension in his pants. “Can you..”

“Hmm? “Say it again.”

“Say what? Be a good boy for me?” His cock was straining against his pants now. “Yes , christ. Yes okay?”

Hajime straightened out on the chair leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “Cmon Kyotani, be a good boy for me”

 “..ff.. Fuck..” Kyotani swatted the boys arms away and sat down on his lap , Hajime grabbed his hips kissing him again . he leaned back in the chair smirking , pulling Kyotani closer slipping his tongue in his mouth.

[5sosbitchfest]

Reactions to Luke’s IG Story 6/14/2020

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate her as much as the next person but bi people in straight relationships are still bi

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I call bullshit on Messy being bi. Sorry, if she was bi, why didn't she come out earlier? Her 'haters'? Where? Also, Luke needs to learn the difference between supporting Pride and celebrating it while PR dating a fake ass 'bi' woman.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I also don’t think it’s fair to say Sierra has never been in a same sex relationship we really don’t know who she’s dated. This is a big problem in the LGBT community, when a bi woman is in a relationship with a man her bi identity gets erased. Halsey has actually talked about this a lot. While I agree that Lierra is not a queer couple, that does not erase Sierra’s identity as a queer woman, and pride is absolutely still for her to celebrate too 🌈

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: *i understand that it was Luke’s post but obviously she had input to post it.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Does Messy’s journey of her sexuality excuse her transphobia? Bc I don’t think so. She sure is selective about who and what she celebrates then. She posted that picture for attention, like everything else she does. It sounds harsh and if she wants to share her journey then great but let’s recognize and call it out for what it is. She doesn’t need to have Luke in a post to talk about her sexuality. Happy Pride Month to that person she purposely misgendered and attempted to invalidate.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It’s not about disliking Sierra anon. She has only officially came out in a reply on twitter that she later deleted. That’s the only time it’s been mentioned. People struggle to come out and she tweeted and deleted it as if she actually wasn’t saying it. And now her boyfriend is the one essentially coming out for her? That’s what the issue is anon she has never openly said she was bisexual and now that it’s pride month she is? This is just the first time it’s being brought up& it wasn’t even her

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I don’t care that Luke posted good on him but him posting something for pride halfway through the month makes the other boys look inconsiderate for not posting anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm the anon that said the thing about "lets not make this into a mikey situation" I agree that it was a complete distraction tactic, and I also can not stand Sierra I was just trying saying that even with those two things in mind the post isnt harming anyone and so we shouldn't get mad at luke for making it.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate to admit it but I don't see Lierra ending anywhere near soon. Yes, couples don't last forever and still I don't think they will but let's be honest, he cares about her. Idk how things are in their life, and I hope he's happy, but I think she will stay around for this year and maybe a bit of 2021. 🙄

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Okey but was the "biracial" necessary? It made me cringe...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I know luke can be cringy when it comes to Sierra but cmon haven’t we learn by now all the cringy stuff if from Sierra being on his account lol

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Sierra wrote that ... no caps, her grammar, fave chosen emojis etc totes her 10000000000% although glad acknowledging bisexual biracial but Angel? Angel by day and to stans but I thought she was the “late night devil”

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Something about Luke’s ig story doesn’t sit well with me... the fact that he felt the need to state that she’s biracial and bisexual just makes it look like he’s treating her like some kind of a trophy to show off, idk it just doesn’t feel right

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Why do L and S feel the need to make everything about S? This isn't about you, so shut up and actually get a job.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: “beautiful bisexual biracial angel” i’m gagging and laughing so hard yeah he 100% wrote and posted that himself /sarcasm

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I love luke and I'm happy if he's happy but the way Sierra clings to him in that photo is so gross. It really just feels like she's using him to do her dirty work. Like that post didnt feel genuine at all and it really seems like luke isnt even trying to convince us anymore he just does the bare minimum to make her happy. I dont blame him tho. Just feels icky.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: As a straight person, I hate straight couples and hope to never be cringe.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm sorry but that Instagram story that luke posted talking about his "beautiful bisexual biracial angel🥰🥺" does NOT (capitalize, underline and bold) sound like how luke would type something. The first part where he talks about how far we have to go sounds like him but not that that part.. not even close. Want to bet either sierra typed it, gave him the idea to say that OR did both cause we know she monitors him like crazy

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: "Bisexual biracial" is so unnecesarry. Luke, hon, shut up. People are out here fighting for their rights, and you feel the need and have the audacity to make it about your crazy ass girlfriend? Don't get me wrong, I love the boys, but making every fcking thing about your girlfriend-particularly luke- is not the point of these movements. So stfu Luke, stfu Sierra, stop making everything about S. That pisses me off, sorry I just needed to rant somewhere.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: is it just me or does the whole “beautiful bisexual biracial angel” not sound like him or something he’d say??? idk I’m kinda new to the fandom but it felt cringey reading that come from him

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Did you see what luke posted on his story? Seems him and Sierra are getting along great, smh. Also she's confirmed bi as well I guess. That's cool. Hope she doesnt use it as a weapon to defend criticism tho. Also did luke redo his hair cuz it seems very white again. Idk. Seems fishy. What are your thoughts? Do you think he was told to post that to distract from mike?

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: just when I was starting to forgive luke for his “response” to messy’s MESS, he goes and posts this... I’m TIRED

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: ok but as a lesbian it makes me sooo happy that Luke is celebrating pride and he's supportive of her sexuality 🥺 men never take bisexuality seriously and I love that he respects that. YET as someone who doesn't like s I'm like why....... like this week has been so frustrating and we were all like "they don't defend m bc they're in a sm break" and now he comes to post this and doesn't say anything? i just :(

allisonscarlett said to 5sosbitchfest: Honestly pride month came just in time cause I remember some stans saying that sierra is probably not bisexual and now there's luke insta story. I'm not trying to erase anyone's sexual orientation, I'm bisexual myself and I've found it weird that in the past years sierra didn't anything about her sexuality during pride month (and don't remember when she tweeted about being bi but I don't thing that it was in during pride month)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: is anyone else getting"i can't be racist/homophobic because my gf is biracial and bisexual" vibes from lukes ig story or is it just me??? does he know he's digging a hole???

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: should we assume luke posted that in response to the insiders muke information? interesting timing on his part

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I honestly can't stand Luke rn. Angel? Angel???? ANGELLL????????????

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Okay but I don't think that counts as a "a straight couple thinking pride is theirs to celebrate". Just cause Sierra is in a straight relationship doesn't take away from the fact that she's bi, or mean she can't celebrate pride. And I think Luke wishing her and everyone a happy pride is actually a really supportive thing for him and again doesn't really count as a straight person thinking pride is theirs to celebrate, because he's focusing on her, not himself.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: “my beautiful biracial angel” i hate it here

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Gonna say something to MAYBE make some people happy. That picture was taken at a PROTEST. So they probably aren't together 😂😂 they were just together for the protest

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The biracial part of his story post is feeding into him being a king for dating a mixed person

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: ok luke did look very cute tho

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Every single time there’s any drama in the fandom, a new “cute” picture pops up and some people really think that’s goals? Like in what world is now the time for that kind of post, if it isn’t a direct pr response to the twitter mess of the past few days? Smh they’re not even trying to be subtle anymore

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: i think it’s fine for straight couples to go to and celebrate pride when one of them or both of them aren’t straight.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I was reading this blog a few hours ago and I read a post where someone said that everyone basically assumed sierra was bi bc of a comment and now Luke comes out calling her "bisexual" as if he was confirming it...Idk felt weird lol

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest:  Bisexual biracial angel😭😭 who made him write that and thought people will take it seriously

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: have you seen luke’s story? “especially to my bisexual biracial girlfriend” i fucking CACKLED like is it how she’s supposed to be known for?

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: thank you luke for that ig post for it will keep messy ass kissers away from m mentions for a while

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Funny how you just brought up everyone saying that Sierra was bi just cause she said she loved men and woman and woopty do guess what luke put on his insta story. “My beautiful bisexual biracial gf” Luke I love you but 🤢

[maypresosan1973-blog]

And they were something tangible! It like when cereal boxes stopped putting prizes in the boxes, the way they have been with these contests lately. Like maybe give out the boxes with $88 purchase AND put the contest envelope in there as part of the box. Then it a cool bonus for whoever does win, but everyone at least benefits who spends the money. The next morning, I'm in surgery prep and once they load me up with the first dose I proceeded to tell EVERYONE "I GOT LAID LAST NIGHT." Then proceeded to be detailed. And I mean everyone. And I remember it. They assume "well she's flirty with me then she's flirty with every guy" which is a turn 거창출장샵 off for them. It may also come across as you being desperate for men's approval/attention which is a turn of for relationship minded men. I would try being friendly and happy but without the overt flirtyness, and see if that helps. They deserve to be recognized and given props for what they do. These top 5 are at the top of my charts in the comedy game.Show DetailsNecessaryHubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. I dont in any way think that they didnt really love each other before but there seemed to be a mismatch of energy but they match in a lot of other ways and I think it been the most obvious "development" in the group. On the other side of that. I feel like JK and Suga have a more obviously similar personality in some ways but very different in others. I concur with the other commenter who suggested The Grange in Hamburg. It fits your criteria for a "guaranteed dining experience" and it is within your budget. My partner and I value the experience of dining out and consider it not only a meal but an event! They are local and close to where you are staying. He had brought a new copy of The Arabian Nights for Rebecca, wishing to replace the well worn old one that had been the delight of her girlhood; but meeting her at such an inauspicious time, he had absently carried it away with him. He turned the pages idly until he came 거창출장샵 to the story of Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp, and presently, in spite of his thirty four years, the old tale held him spellbound as it did in the days when he first read it as a boy. But there were certain paragraphs that especially caught his eye and arrested his attention, paragraphs that he read and reread, finding in them he knew not what secret delight and significance. In 1890, Sophia Hayden Benett became the first woman to receive an architecture degree from MIT. Unfortunately, Sophia was unable to find work in her chosen field, eventually accepting a job teaching technical drawing in a Boston high school. But she didn't stop dreaming. At times it definitely felt like they were fucking with me, but over time (especially when they got diagnosed BPD/ revealed it to me) I realized their narcissism prevented them from seeing other people and the importance of an equal relationship. If they thought and/or felt some way, it must be right. They still my friends but god damn have I never been so happy to be single.. It plays in about an hour with a lot of it happening simultaneously. The designer is a euro head who owns tons of euros and is thoughtful in his designs. There a ton of videos of rules overviews, and a full playthrough by tantrum house that I check out to see how it really plays out :). Nothing else lol. Where did all that money go? No clue cuz they didn educate us on that. I could Google it now but I don really care.

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 11 - “Just because I am loud does not mean I am good at this game.” - Raffy

Raffy

I cannot believe that plan worked out. We got out Stephen, weakening Maynor's hold on this game which means that if he doesn't win this next immunity challenge then he's screwed. However, this next one is a doozy and I don't know if I can win this, but I am going to try my best. I just hope people credit me with this move since I managed to make the right social connections to do it. Timmy is big mad, but I think that is more towards Joseph than anything else. Either way, I am proud of myself for doing THAT. Nothing in my Survivor career will ever top this moment.

Jack

So the plan worked, Stephen got voted out (love you man) and thank fuckkkk because I got 3 votes. Joseph went for Timmy and that made Timmy mad at Joseph and I'm like *very innocently whistling* This challenge now o boyyyyy, hopefully maybe i can win maybe? Also i really like Timmy and Dylan but also Timmy is gonna kill me and i know it. He was so mad in the moment mannnn. 

Timmy

I am absolutely, positively livid. I’m thankful that it wasn’t me, but my god there are a lot of fake bitches here. Number 1 on that list is Raffy who was preaching about how they’re alone and there is no need to lie to them but then goes lying on all day. BITCH I WAS HONEST WITH YOU! I THOUGHT WE GOT THROUGH THAT SHIT! I guess fucking not though. I wanted an easy vote after the mess that was the last two but nope. And I get the irony here, trust me it’s not lost. I did it to them and this is karma and she’s really that bitch. But really, I’m just glad I still have my idol because I was real close to panic playing it. Number 2 is Joseph because he had the audacity to vote for me because the people who have been TARGETING HIM say that they have the numbers. And guess what, THEY LIED TO HIM. Literally a dumbass who will never win because they don’t understand any concepts of the game. Dylan is a huge threat right now because they are making moves and not staying true to alliances but being calculated about it. Dylan is riding the middle which right now seems like a good spot. I feel like it will put them in the target position that I had been in though, which could work for me. But I will not let Raffy skate by because he has people in jury who will vote for him. And raffy needs to go fast if there is another returning player just because it might be Zoe or John.

Dylan C

https://youtu.be/KkInofcSWYc

Maynor

Well. Back to the minority thanks to Joseph. Who honestly screwed over people who wanted to work with him till the end so he could help people who have said they wanted him out for forever. 🤷‍♂️ Im just whatever. Like if i dont win immunity, im most likely going home. And Joseph gets a free pass to f5 cuz the two next votes will be me and Timmy.

This challenge is just a huge ugh for me. I dont know why but everytime i have done this challenge, it always triggers a panic attack. Its a small one but affects my ability to do it when i mess up for the first time. I got to 29 sleds. Most likely not going to be enough to beat Jack or Raffy. Which sucks cuz i really needed this immunity.

Maynor

Hmm. I think i wont be able to pass my 29 sled score. Especially not in the state i am. The pressure i put on myself wasnt good. And has made me into a mess. I just feel bad. And i feel like i let Timmy down even though he has told me I didnt. For the challenge, i feel like Raffy or Jack will win. And Timmy n I will be the targets. No one in their right mind would vote off Joseph. He’s the goat people would take to the end to get zero votes. He really screwed his alliance for people who dont want to work with him. Im still going to fight but not going to fool myself its going to be tougher and gunna need lots of luck.

Raffy

This challenge broke me. I got up to mid-70s and then I fucked it up. And apparently someone was neck and neck with me. It was probably Timmy, and he is going to win immunity then use the idol on Maynor which is terrible. I fully think there is an idol in this game and it can only be used in these next two rounds so it is bound to happen. And I am just so tired and so done and so over it. I can't do it anymore. And I'm going to go to EoE and then have to battle against challenge powerhouses and I fgjkbf j, fsjfKD dkHV dhb KB If this is the challenge that causes my game to be over, I'm going to be pissed

Jack

So i somehow actually one the challenge (i legit thought I wasn't doing that well and then Jay's like "mate you're super ahead lmao") but I'm VERY glad i did, cause no way I didn't still have a target on my back. Now the likely shift will be onto Raffy, but we've got the stirrings of a plan to go for Timmy (love the guy, he just seems like he wants to murder me so) and go with the same voting block of Ellie, Raffy, Dylan and me, and then Joseph would maybe not be told the vote (sorry dude) and instead told that the votes smthn else, so in case Timmy has an idol he wont use it (but also like only 2 more councils to use it so like he might just anyways) but yeah. Also maybe spreading that were going to vote for Joseph actually tho, but idk. Gonna chat with Dylan and Ellie in the morning.

Raffy

I was so close to winning that challenge. I do not feel safe going into this round because I think that someone has an idol up their sleeve and they are bound to use it either during this round or the next. I want to split the vote between Maynor and Timmy, but last time I tried to organize a split vote, one of my closest allies went home. Ideally, we have me, Jack, and Dylan vote for Maynor while Ellie/Joseph vote for Timmy. However, Joseph probably feels betrayed after last round so he will probably join Timmy's and Maynor's side. I think we all need to stack our votes on one person for the best success, but I'm so scared of an idol rn that it is crazy. Idol paranoia is at an all-time high. 

Raffy

I do not know why I am a front runner in this game when people like Dylan, Jack, and Ellie exist who are the ones doing the actual work. In fact, I should not even be a target. Just because I am loud does not mean I am good at this game. Either way, at least it means I have a good chance of victory if I make it to FTC, but that is a hard IF. 

Ellie and Dylan were talking, and they determined that a split vote, while risky, is probably necessary. Our main target right now is Maynor, but we are splitting it between him and Timmy. We want to keep Joseph in the dark about who the target is because I don't necessarily trust him with that information. So, we are going to tell him that it is Timmy, but three of us are going to vote for Maynor while another one votes for Timmy. This creates a 3-2-2 if Joseph goes along with the plan. And, if he back stabs us, it creates' a 3-3-1 with a tie for insurance. This is in case of an idol because if Joseph back stabs us then that means they will think it is Timmy which means, if they have an idol, they will use it on Timmy, not Maynor. This plan has its risk, but sometimes you have to take risks in this game like last time. 

Raffy

Maynor asked me to vote him out. This is strange because his reasoning is that he feels like he screwed over Timmy's game and he wants to give Timmy more chances in this game than himself. I find this incredibly suspicious because this could very well be a ploy to use the idol correctly in order to idol someone out, probably me. If this were a trick, it's a dirty trick that I cannot respect. I would like to believe him and make this an easy tribal, but this is just odd from my standpoint. 

Jack

Okay so plan rn is voting 3 (Joseph, Ellie, Raffy) onto Maynor and 2 (Me, Dylan) onto Timmy, in case one had an idol. No hard feelings for either just how it goes. I'm so freaking glad i've got immunity tonight mannnn. Also I've still got my idol so that's a thing. I'm pretty confident tonight be who knows man, Joseph's a bit of a wild card and Dylan could flip. Also love Maynor but hes gonna do a win mannnn.

Raffy

I told Joseph about the split vote because I do not believe lying is necessary anymore. Maynor knows he is going home, so he is going to use an idol on himself either way. And Joseph seemed down as long as he got to vote Maynor. This could end up blowing up in my face, but this will come back to haunt these people in the form of my bitterness.

Maynor

This tribal is gunna be extremely messy and i love it cuz there is a chance that me and Timmy can stay in the game. I knew that Dylan Effie Raffy and Jack are splitting votes. Also have asked Joseph to join them. So they wanna split 3-2 with me going home. Kinda my doing cuz told Raffy to vote for me. But Joseph is gunna vote with Me and Timmy and vote Dylan. So the vote should be 3-3-1 unless they have Joseph in the majority vote if they do then the vote would end up being 3-2-2 amd Dylan goes home. Timmy says hes gunna play his idol but doesnt know on who yet. We are assuming right now that im getting the majority. So hoping so we can pull of this amazing blindside. 3 blindside in the first 4 merge vote. We are some crackheads.

Timmy

This tribal is going to be a mess. Should I play my idol, should I not, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. And now I have to put my faith in Joseph...THE SAME JOSEPH WHO FUCKED ME OVER LAST ROUND. Like what even is this game. Either way Maynor and I want Dylan gone and everyone else except maybe Joseph wants myself or Maynor gone. If we can get through this without needing to use the idol it'll be a miracle.

Ellie

What the fuck is it with Raffy and last minute decisions???? Stick with the plan dude pretty pleaseeeeeee

Raffy

At least I was not screwed over by the idol. I still have the numbers with Jack and Ellie. So, next round I either need the idol or win immunity. Or both.

[weatheringquerist-blog]

[[The sound clearly came from the infirmary, but further shouts of surprise do not continue. In fact, it is eerily silent and moreso than usual.]]

DAVENFORTH: -Okay, so maybe he wasn't actually able to place that scream. Regardless, Davenforth wasn't sleeping well. A combination of a lot of things, a lot feelings he wasn't processing correctly...or at all. Keeping busy would help right? He rounds the corner into the infirmary, hair poofy and without its proper treatment.-

DAVENFORTH: Whats goin on here

QIRIN: =She is in the hallway in the process of stepping from wall where in her surprise she had flattened herself against it and knocked over several instruments on a medical cart. Lowering the hand she had thrown in front of her by pure reflex, she briefly rested it upon her chest then allowed it to drift down to her side.=

QIRIN: =Qirin lifted a brow to him in greeting as though she hadn't just emitted the noise.= Pleasant night, Davenforth? =On the floor in front of her in a pile of linen which had spilled from the closet rose a teal colored grub that is chirruping happily, waving her forelegs and slowly waddling her way toward the carapacian.=

DAVENFORTH: -Okay wow, that's a lot of commotion for...a grub? He raises a brow at her.- Thought someone was being murdered

DAVENFORTH: Looks like condy is enlistin em younger and younger

DAVENFORTH: Cuter too

DAVENFORTH: -Squats down to the grub- A lil messy though

QIRIN: =She knelt to the ground beside him as the grub turned her head towards Davenforth, lifting her head to sniff the air= She is not supposed to be here. Her caretakers must be wondering where she is. I must notify Miss Raziga immediately. How long has it been since we departed from Avalon? =As she continues, her voice is gradually getting more strained. She is calm however, despite hiding a great deal of panic. =

DAVENFORTH: Long enough that we cant afford to turn the ship around to bring her back -Welp....more grubs. He holds his hand out to the tiny-

DAVENFORTH: So youre not a tiny assassin huh

DAVENFORTH: Thats good because youre really sloppy

QIRIN: =Small, extended whine of despair=

QIRIN: Truly, a criminal mastermind. This was her plan all along, I know it.

GRUB: =She's squinting under the bright infirmary lights and gingerly bats at Davenforth's hand, i.e. the blurry blob in front of her=

QIRIN: This one has been following me from the brooding caverns since the Union's physicians were assigned to give the little ones health checks. I should have known something was amiss when she did not appear at the ship for her scheduled stalking within a week. =her shoulders droop= I suppose I had hoped she had finally lost interest and another lusus had selected her under their keeping.

DAVENFORTH: -Congratulations grub, you have a hand. Davenforth squints at her behind his shades- So you never told anyone she kept sneaking off

GRUB: =still squinting, she hooked her other foreleg around his hand and dragged herself forward. His hand is going into her mouth, and she subsequently began to nibble at it.=

QIRIN: Of course I did. Dirk has known of these occurances since he caught me returning one day. At the time, I told no one as it was merely a minor issue and I felt it was unnecessary to inconvenience staff. The caretakers of the mothergrub know. Some of them thought this to be quite funny.

DAVENFORTH: -Ugh...gross...this is his life now- Looks like shes got somethin in common with jin

QIRIN: Jin? =She's a little out of the loop=

GRUB: =Now that the meat has been sufficiently tenderized, it is time to scale this mountain.=

DAVENFORTH: -Just gonna let this grub climb on him.- Uh yeah

DAVENFORTH: Me and lif have a grub

DAVENFORTH: Thing just kept stalkin her so she decided to keep it shes a limeblood

DAVENFORTH: A statistical impossibility

DAVENFORTH: Like me being a parent

DAVENFORTH: Which apparently i am now

QIRIN: =Her eyes trail from Davenforth to the grub, who is now crawling up the length of his arm=

QIRIN: =she snickered= Congratulations. It should have been expected with the way impossibilities seem possible on this ship. Trolls caring for the own, mystical abilities, coming back from dead. Even you, Dave, becoming a guardian.

DAVENFORTH: Yeah no shut up im not supposed to be a parent

QIRIN: And why is that?

GRUB: =Now perched upon his shoulder, she continues her exploration by sticking a leg in his ear=

DAVENFORTH: -This is fine. Except it's not, and he cranes his head away like please no.-

DAVENFORTH: Because ive got no right bein apart of a kids formative years all im gonna do is fuck it up i dont even know how to take care of a kid

GRUB: =when he moves, she makes a mrrrrrp! noise=

QIRIN: ... =You and me both, Dave=

QIRIN: I am sure you would make an excellent caretaker. If not, there are many on this ship from who you can take advice.

QIRIN: Your namesake, for instance. He has a child of his own.

DAVENFORTH: First things first im his namesake

DAVENFORTH: Im not askin my little nephew about baby pointers

QIRIN: You will have to forgive me for that slip up. Blame it on the fact that I am still reeling from the shock of a grub leaping at my face from what was supposed to be a harmless linen closet. =She laughed again=

QIRIN: Are you betting your child's life on a matter of pride, Dave? ^_^

DAVENFORTH: No cuz lifera is a great mom the kid is halfway in good hands

QIRIN: And why not make "the kid full way in good hands"?

DAVENFORTH: Because my hands aint good for raisin kids -Speaking of, he plucks up the grub into his hands and boops her nose-

QIRIN: =eyes those hands= You are not providing sufficient evidence to prove your theory correct.

DAVENFORTH: Playing with a kid and actually helping them grow without fuckin em up are two different things

GRUB: =looks astonished by the boop and waggles her legs around trying to find the source of what did it=

QIRIN: =she glances at the bby troll, slightly concerned. The eyedrops hadn't improved her vision problems, and Qirin wouldn't know more information until pupation.=

QIRIN: You have barely begun. How are you so sure of this?

DAVENFORTH: -Squints at the little grubby and places his hand over her eyes, kind of shielding it from the light-

DAVENFORTH: Because its me and if theres one thing i know its me

GRUB: =squints a little less=

QIRIN: =she watches this interaction closely. He wouldn't be a good father my ass.=

QIRIN: So. What you are saying is that you have already resolved to failure and you are not even going to attempt it?

DAVENFORTH: Its the light thats botherin you huh yeah its stupid bright in here -Bye Qirin-

QIRIN: Why is it when I come close to making my point, you divert the subject?

QIRIN: =She huffs and gets up to stand to fix the lighting situation, because he may be onto something there.=

DAVENFORTH: Whats that rami

QIRIN: =She flicks off the lights to that portion of the hallway and dims the others to the floor lights so that they arent sitting in complete darkness.=

QIRIN: I am trying to state you will not know until you try, and there is absolutely no harm in asking for advice from those who know the subject of childrearing.

QIRIN: =she began picking up the linen that had fallen to the floor, neatly stacking them back in the closet again.=

QIRIN: You can either accept that there are certain subjects of which you are unaware, and pursue sources of knowledge to rectify that. Or you can make no attempt and remain ignorant. ^_^

DAVENFORTH: Pffft and here you are preachin again look i know what i know and i know what i dont

DAVENFORTH: Didnt know a damn thing about being my own manager and i figured that out

DAVENFORTH: If youre so high and mighty as a parent then why dont you take care of this one instead of screamin bloody murder

QIRIN: =she seems aghast at the prospect.=

QIRIN: Dave, I know that I may sound—

GRUB: =At the adjustment of the lighting, the grub's eyes turn spherical and she chirrs. Nibbling Davenforth's fingers in thanks, she makes a subsequent beeline for the Carapacian.=

QIRIN: =eyes the grub almost fearfully= ....incredibly...hypocritical....

GRUB: =starts crawling up Qirin's skirts=

QIRIN: But I literally know nothing of the subject. When I was cloned, childrearing was not written into the construct of my DNA. I have no intrinsic knowledge of how to care for the upbringing of my own kind, and I especially do not have the knowledge of how to care for children of another species.

GRUB: =Slides back down the fabric of her leg=

QIRIN: =slightly distressed= Oh, little one, I do not fit the requirements necessary to be your caretaker. D:

QIRIN: Surely, there are others far more qualified.

GRUB: =tries climbing up her leg again=

DAVENFORTH: No one is born with child testing in their dna

DAVENFORTH: Besides

DAVENFORTH: You wont know know until you try and theres no harm in asking for advice from those who know

DAVENFORTH: You can either accept that there are certain subjects of which you are unaware and pursue sources of knowledge to rectify that or you can make no attempt and remain ignorant

DAVENFORTH: B|

QIRIN: :(

QIRIN: I admit I dug my own grave there.

DAVENFORTH: Theres always someone more qualified

DAVENFORTH: Just because i think im gonna fuck the kid up dont mean i wont try

QIRIN: Well.

QIRIN: That is good, then.

QIRIN: Effort is always commendable.

QIRIN: However Dave, this is an entirely different situation that I—

GRUB: =manages to crawl up her side and into the crook of one of Qirin's arms=

QIRIN: =her arm automatically (and subconciously) moved to cradle the grub.=

GRUB: =She snuggles in, just wanting to be held.=

QIRIN: =horrified=

QIRIN: This is a manner of...of...of mistaken identity! I am no lusus!

[dahniwitchoflight]

bleh im thinking about things again

just fyi talking about lapis lazuli again and my opinions about stuff probably because im hyperfocusing on/relating to her again, feel free to completely ignore if you dont wanna engage in that kinda stuff i wont judge

but anyway, ive also been wondering on why there such a clear divide in who people think did what exactly, when to me its seems perfectly clear, cuz like, ive been through this kind of thing my whole life. thats why i relate to lapis because i was isolated and trapped for my whole existence and she was for like 1000 years. At times I still feel intensely the emotion of “i have no mouth and i must scream” like she did in the mirror

but like slowly and slowly im coming to the conclusion that people who think Lapis was abusive, or that mutual abuse is a thing that exists instead of the oxymoron that word is, are either people who don’t fully get what abusive dynamics are, or people who are still in abusive situations themselves.

which is why im gonna do my best to frame my thoughts as nonjudgemental as possible, despite my clear stance that Jasper was abusive and Lapis was abused. 

because fun fact about abuse dynamics, making the victim feel like they are the true abuser is abuser tactic #1 and the most hardest to recognize from both the outside and the inside. people can live their whole lives thinking they truly deserved the abuse they lived through because the people abusing them told them they were bad people, monsters, and thus had to be punished, their abuse was just “natural discipline” or “an appropriate response”

like, blame shifting by acting like the person being abused is actually the abuser is how the abuse cycle keeps proliferating

people ask all the time questions like “why didnt you see it coming, why didnt you escape, why didnt you get out” but he answer is because the abuser doesnt just abuse, they cut off all escape routes, abuse isnt abuse because someone got physically hurt, abuse is abuse because its about psychological control and dominance. thats how they keep their victims trapped. thats how victims stay trapped. because theyre worldviews and beliefs and mentality get distorted by the abuser, the abuser makes them think all of their actions towards the abused are justified, the abused deserved it because the abuser got them to doubt who’s the real person in the wrong by intentionally muddying the waters of right and wrong

the abuser tries to make it seem like they are the ones getting abused, not the people they are actually hurting.

the myth of mutual abuse is what lets abusers keeping abusing people. that is there entire modus operandi and part of why the cycle of abuse is so hard to dismantle.

and maybe thats why i have such a strong reaction to people doing the same thing, claiming it was mutually toxic or Lapis abused her back or their both to blame or etc

but i get that this tactic intentionally makes it difficult to discern reality, thats the entire tactic, thats the point, to try to hide the reality that the abuser is actually the bad person here not the victim by making it seem like the tables have turned

so to people unfamiliar with the cycle, or people currently inside the cycle themselves (like old me, so i totally get it, i do), it can seem like an impossible he said-she said match where both sides seem like they have valid points but sympathy is created or had for either side so the waters get muddy and instead of seeing the reality of abuse they see it as “both were abusers and both were victims”

like, i get that there are other victims of abuse who identify with jasper, because jasper displays some familiar behaviors to them, there are parts of her that seem sympathetic, i totally get that. i can totally see where this entire post can look like im doing the same thing with Lapis towards Jasper to people who identify with Jasper

but the problem is Jasper in canon is displaying those behaviors intentionally to manipulate people close to Lapis into believing Lapis was the terrible person in the wrong instead of Jasper. and afterwards when shes not around Lapis she shows no remorse, believes she is justifed in her actions, and uses them against other people as well.

and we know Jasper clearly understands how to use people’s weaknesses against them, that was the whole point of making her the antagonist in Amethysts arc as well. to showcase her behaviours and personality outside of her dynamic with Lapis so it becomes clearer what kind of person she is when Lapis isnt in the picture, in a place where she hasn’t intentionally muddied the waters by calling Lapis the true monster, trying to manipulate Steven into siding with her against Lapis and preemptively apologizing for Lapis’s behaviors for her saying yes you were terrible and what you did was bad but look i can be the bigger person and look past all that, see im even better and changed, we can make this work, we can both work on both of our problems that caused this situation.

like i just keep going back to this website because it explains it so well: http://www.loveisrespect.org/content/myth-of-mutual-abuse/

like when looking for the differences in Jasper’s and Lapis’s behaviours, there are key differences that need to be acknowledged

Jasper acts differently around Lapis and around other people. Painting herself as the victim to Lapis or the people around her, but clearly having no such sympathy for others who are not Lapis when’s not around her, like Amethyst. Jasper played on her insecurities, emotionally manipulating her in order to achieve the upper hand in battle. and not once does Jasper ever consider that her behaviour was genuinely a bad thing to do, no matter what her behaviour was in Alone at Sea when she was actively trying to manipulate the situation in her favor. The fact that we see her later act otherwise with Amethyst’s situation, justifying her own behaviour as the Strong should beat the Weak, is proof she doesn’t see anything inherently wrong with the behaviour itself, only that it looks bad to others, so she blame shifts to get that off of her and onto Lapis.

Lapis meanwhile acts consistent around everyone, Jasper or otherwise. She sees herself as genuinely in the wrong, no matter what people say to her. Even Steven, the one person she trusts unconditionally. Abusers don’t ever actually think they were genuinely in the wrong. If Lapis was actually displaying abusive behaviour, instead of self defensive behaviour, then she would take Steven’s words as Steven being “on her side” and immediately say “yeah you’re right, I’m not the monster here, see Jasper even Steven believes me!” and that would be a blame shifting tactic. But that’s not what she did and that’s not what happened. Then also, she is the first to try to break the cycle of attack and self defense, even if she thinks she was partially at fault or mutually abusive for self defending, even believing that to be true she still took it upon herself to end the situation, to say no, that was awful, that hurt me and it hurt you and was good for no one. Lapis said I don’t want anything to do with Jasper anymore. Jasper said I want this to keep happening.

Abusers generally don’t want their victims to “escape”. If Lapis was an abuser here, she would be wanting Jasper back in her grasp after Malachite ended and was no longer necessary to protect Steven

and I get that sometimes victims can be addicted to bad relationships and go back to their abusers, but thats a sentiment that Lapis clearly displays when she says she needed that awful situation, no matter how terrible it felt to both of them and that she missed Jasper

Jasper instead stalks Lapis across the earth in order to coerce her back into the relationship. Like, even if a victim missed a previous abusive situation because it felt familiar. I cannot imagine a victim going as far to stalk their abuser back into one. and maybe thats just me. But Lapis fled was she felt was a terrible situation and felt internally conflicted about it afterwards. Jasper genuinely believes that them fighting for control over Malachite was fine, likely stemming from her belief that Power rules All, and again, her unrelated behaviour with Amethyst, and wanted that back to the point of stalking Lapis. 

there is a clear difference in motivations here. 

Lapis shows internal conflict related o her actually being the terrible one and also remorse over the entire situation and avoids the other person

Jasper clearly shows no genuine internal conflict, only manipulative tactics meant to shift blame onto Lapis, does not feel remorse over those actions and actively shows further abusive behavior both towards Lapis (Stalking) and other people (Amethyst) making any previous apologizes resonate as hollow.

this is why I stand so strongly and resonate so strongly with Lapis, because I can recognize when an abuser is trying to paint themselves as a victim, and when a victim is painting themselves as the “true” abuser

the dynamics of psychological control is what abuse is all about.