#and she thought of abyssal

[duckapus]

One day, when Abyssal happens to be in the SM64 universe, Emulator notices something very obviously off with her. So, of course, she approaches with all the subtlety she's capable of.

"Hey Abby, how's it hangin'?"

The Admin is understandably startled by the somehow-still-slightly-taller woman suddenly appearing next to her, and -with her balance rather understandably being off in her current state- she nearly falls over before Emmy puts a hand on her back to support her.

Which shouldn't have been possible, considering what's supposed to be back there.

"Whoops. Sorry about that."

"I-it's fine," she gets her feet back under her and brushes herself off, then smiles at her friend, "I should really be used to that by now, anyway."

"Still," she shrugs, then steps back a bit and makes a small show of briefly looking Abyssal over, "So, that's a new look. You just trying something new, or..."

Abyssal's smile becomes a bit forced as her shoulders twitch, instincts trying to flex muscles that should be there but aren't, and her hand goes up to her chest to fiddle with an edge that doesn't currently exist, "You, ah... noticed that, huh?"

Emmy's face twists into some cross between a grin and a wince, "bit hard not to. I mean the cloak is one thing but you're missing limbs here."

Indeed, Abyssal's wings are completely absent, and her cloak has gone from being open at the front if not for the clasp and belt to only having openings at the top, bottom and sleeves. It's a massive change, and not one she looks even remotely comfortable with.

She keeps fiddling with the front of her...well it's more of a robe now, really, "Well, uh, you know my model's been changing a little ever since the incident."

A nod, "Yeah, I noticed the growth spurt."

"Well, recently I got something a little more...drastic than that. I'm not sure if it's a side-effect from Sora breaking my connection to... It, or if it's just me being more comfortable with myself, but I'm starting to get...uh...an accent color, I guess?"

"You saw black and backslid a little, didn't you?" it's clear from her tone, that it's not an accusation, though it is mostly rhetorical.

Abyssal groans in frustration and leans heavily on Emmy's shoulder, "God I hate this. I'm free now, I'm supposed to be getting better, but I still feel like I have to hide even though everyone already knows!" she doesn't stop the (mostly angry) tears from falling as she's pulled into a hug, "I hate that that thing still has so much power over me..."

"Hun, you had to deal with that for almost a decade and a half. Nobody's gonna judge you for needing time, or for stumbling a few times as you go," a certain stick figure comes to mind, and she adds, "well, nobody who matters at least."

"I know that, I just..." she huffs in annoyance, either at the situation or herself, and gently pulls herself out of the hug, "My wings just got back to full strength and now-" her arms wave out before flopping down to her sides, "I just...I know pushing myself before I'm ready is usually a bad idea, but maybe I need just a little push this time? Maybe if one other person saw them?"

Emulator gives it some serious thought...for a few moments, then shrugs, "Well, if you're up for it. Let's see 'em!"

Abyssal blinks, a bit startled, and suddenly looks apprehensive, "Wait, like right now? With you?"

"Of course! Better to do it now while you've still got the nerve worked up, right?"

"Well, yeah, that makes sense, but uh...are you sure? 'Cause we're dealing with, you know, pink and black here. And you've kind of got a pretty good reason for... possibly not reacting well to that combo?"

Emmy shrugs, "True, but that's still an 'if.' And if I do turn out to have that kind of hangup, it'll be my problem for me to work through. You shouldn't have to keep hurting yourself just to accommodate an issue I might not even have."

When she still doesn't look fully convinced, Emmy sighs, switching to her rarely used full-voice-acting mode, "Abyssal, do you remember when we first met?"

Abyssal nods hesitantly, not sure where this is going.

"It was the day this place got activated, and just about everything that could go wrong, had. And then, when they saw me, every single Admin, even Domain and Forum when they finally woke up, wrote me off as just one more point on their long list of problems -and some of them kept thinking that for a long time. I know even CPU thought of me as an occasional headache at best as recently as a little over a year ago.

"Every one of them, except you. You looked at me and you saw another person, one who'd been thrown into an impossible situation and had no idea what was going on, and you walked right up and introduced yourself and asked me if I was okay. You were the first person to ever decide I was actually worth the effort, and that meant everything to me. It still does.

"That's why I want to do this with you. That's why, even if this does turn out to hit one of my trauma buttons (still an 'if' there, by the way), I'm still going to be as supportive as possible. You're worth the effort too, and if you'll let me I'll do whatever I can to make you believe that because I know you probably don't yet."

"I-" Abyssal chokes on her words, not knowing what to say to all that, then swallows and shakes her head, getting a determined gleam in her eye, "Okay. Let's do this."

There's a brief moment of hesitation, and then her form shimmers, her usual model's details slowly overriding the current one. When it's over her cloak is back to normal (though the belt is loose, revealing a small glimpse of whatever outfit she wears underneath, her top noticeably darker than the last time Emmy got a peek of it), and her wings arc gracefully over her shoulders, seeming a little larger than they'd been before, and Emulator gasps when she sees the new pattern that had caused so much grief.

"Oh, Abby, they're beautiful."

Huh. That definitely wasn't the reaction she'd been expecting, "They- really?"

She pulls one of them forward, trying to see whatever it is her friend is seeing, and blinks in surprise. What had looked like black in her peripheral vision back then is actually a very dark purple which seems to glisten in the midday sun, at certain angles even seeming to sparkle like there are little flecks of starlight caught in it. The new color is mainly on her primary flight feathers, going almost halfway down each one on the topside and only forming a narrow chevron at the tip on the bottom, with an irregular scattering of small splotches on the rest of the wing. The more she looks at it, the more she comes to agree with Emulator's assessment.

She lets out a huff that's almost a laugh, grinning, "Got all worked up for nothing, huh?"

"Not nothing. You saw something that reminded you of a time you were hurt, you're allowed to be upset about that."

"Yeah, I know. Just hard to remember that sometimes," now she really does laugh a little, "I feel like it should be weird that you're mothering me when I'm older than you."

Emmy smirks, "You know as well as I do that that doesn't mean shit in this group."

"Fair enough."

There's a comfortable silence for a little while, until Abyssal finds herself staring wistfully up at the sky. Her wingtips twitch almost imperceptibly, but Emulator still takes notice.

"How long?"

"...A few weeks, I think," she looks over, clearly yearning but not wanting to just leave her friend behind.

Emmy shoots her back an understanding smile, "You're not made to be stuck on the ground, Abby. You know what you need."

There's another hug, thanking her for things words simply can't express, and then in a few wingbeats she's off, soon becoming nothing but a pink speck swooping around among the clouds, reveling in her rediscovered freedom.

[totallynotsarkaz]

working alone

[starscr0ss]

im thinking about celestia and the abyss being literal opposites (chaos and order) and im thinking about childe and lumine being sort of embodiments of that, just not in the way we think. after the latest natlan quest its clear to us what the fatui intends and what they want- i think the tsaritsa more than anything loves humanity, which is why she directly opposes celestia who are known for bringing down different civilizations. childe, as Her weapon and Her blade is an extenction of that: he's a blade forged by the abyss, bathed in Her holyness, meant to strike down those who sin. lumine (talking solely about traveler lumine) is the literal sister of the prince of the abyss, she has clear ties to it and at this point in the story still is hesitant about fully opposing him (i love angst). her entire story revolves around chaose and disrupting celestia's (and the fatui's) order. isnt that fun

i think what childe longs for the most is control- control of himself, his life, his powers, his story, his fate. i think what lumine wants the most is freedom, which is just another phacet of chaos

anyways. you see it. the themes are theming

[sea-lanterns]

….I have no idea where to put Skirk on my masterlist 🥲

Now that she’s officially a playable character, I have no excuse. She’s technically our first ever Abyss character so I might just have to make a whole new masterlist for her

[dimonds456]

Transfem Stan Thoughtdump

Okay so @/abyssalzones made a pretty good post that sums up a lot of my thoughts as well, but I have a few extra ones I'd like to add to this discussion, as well as elaborating on one of the post's points. I've been thinking about transfem Stan for a couple of weeks now and at this point I'm like "fuck it we ball" and throwing it out there. 

For one, it warms my heart whenever there's an older character who was raised in the mid-1900s/older times who realizes they're queer, or comes to terms with their identity in old age. You're never too old to realize you're part of the community, and never too late. Adding this on top of the many, MANY identities that Stan has had to take to survive in her life, it'd be like really turning over a new leaf for her. She'd get to really step into an identity that she aligns with completely, and not something else given to her or that she took to protect herself. 

Not to mention, everything regarding Ford. The fact that she had to pretend to be Ford for so long, she more than likely never had the chance to even think about taking on any other identities. She had to keep this one as intact as she could. Otherwise, she could risk loosing the Shack, and with it, the portal- her brother. No way that was happening. 

It was briefly touched in the post, but when Stan was watching that one movie and she was like "JUST LIKE ME FR", obviously the writers intended that to just be a joke since this was as far and away from Stan's identity as they could get. But we're gonna ignore that and take it at face value for a second. 

The channel introduces itself (jokingly) as the boring old lady black-and-white channel, clearly something that a manly-man like Stan wouldn't be into, and he reacts like how you'd expect. But once it gets going, he gets fully sucked into it, leading eventually to the scene where the main character, seemingly about to complete a Character Arc™, tells her mother "I'm not just a dutchess, I'm also a woman!" and Stan cheers for her, saying the "just like me fr" line. 

Without any transfem headcanons, again, this is a joke. Or you could interpret this in hindsight as Stan feeling a similar way about his father, since lines like "I'm a woman!" declared like that usually means "I'm free to make my own choices," which is a message resident make-my-father-proud-issues Stanley Pines would relate to pretty hard. Even though this isn't a conclusion Stan comes to in the show, we could easily see him coming to a conclusion like that in the future.

Now let's add the transfem headcanon back in. With that new layer to it, Stan (whose egg hasn't cracked yet) would be confused as to why she relates so hard. After all, she's a man who was raised to shove feelings down and be a manly-man man by Filbrick. She's more than likely gone her entire life trying to conform to that idea of toxic masculinity that her dad pushed on both her and Ford. Stan was always the one who resorted to punching, after all. That's a manly-man trait, so surely this goes no further right

There's a part of Gravity Falls that I feel doesn't get discussed enough, and that's the underlying misogyny of it. There's not a ton of it, but there are quite a few jokes about how men are stronger than women and the like. Stan has quite a few lines like that herself. So she would be subscribing to a similar mental state, the idea that if you like punching, CLEARLY you're a guy. Cuz that's how it works. Obviously. 

Introducing Mabel Pines, someone who is VERY much a girly-girl. She likes pink and unicorns and rainbows and makeup and sleepovers, stuff of the like. Now I could make a whole other post about my headcanons for Mabel and her queer journey, but one thing she can definitely do that "girly-girls" DON'T? Punching.

Mabel can punch. And she punches a lot. 

It's a small thing, and something I think Stan has just kinda accepted without question over the course of the series, but if she were to stop and think about it, she'd be like ".....wait a minute." and it could very well be the first piece that cracks the idea of manly-man masculinity vs just. existing as a person and what that actually means. 

Once Stan finally starts to break away from toxic masculinity and all those lessons she got thrown into her head, then her egg would finally be able to start cracking. 

As for why it even matters, first off, it just makes for an interesting interpretation of the character I haven't really seen before until VERY recently. Like, within the past 2 days recently (and maybe once like a month ago?? idk). 

But secondly, for her character, it would be a good, healthy step into really taking back her identity. Who IS Stan Pines? She's spent so long being other people, either as a form of self-defense or pretending to be her brother so she can help save him from the sideburn hell dimension, that I don't think she's really allowed herself to connect to who Stan is. 

This is true regardless of gender headcanon, but I think the transfem angle makes it so much more interesting. Who is Stan? Not even she knows. And she's starting to feel VERY confused about the whole thing. 

As for Ford, I think he'd be more than willing to support an identity journey for Stan. After all, he's traveled across dimensions and more than likely had all his teachings questioned as well. I am willing to bet money he's encountered trans people before. And, knowing Ford, he'd be open and curious to the idea, not close-minded, no matter what their father tried to teach his kids. Honestly, I could see Ford pestering Stan with questions long into the night regarding the whole thing, and taking up the whole identity mystery for himself as something the two of them can "crack" (heh) together. Just another adventure for the crew of the Stan'o'War II! 

There's SO much more but I don't wanna re-say things that the og post already said, these are just the big ones that stick out to me and what I wanted to elaborate on. 

TL;DR Stan goes on a journey of realizing that toxic masculinity Is Bad Actually and honestly so was his father, and once he accepts that and starts actively challenging his own beliefs about gender, her egg cracks and she realizes that maybe she isn't a guy at all. The rest of the Pines- but Ford especially- are supportive, and although Stan has a LOT of self-reflection to do and I could see her getting frustrated, flustered, or even embarrassed of her newfound realization, ultimately it makes her happier like this. Cuz it's her identity. She's not pretending to be anyone else anymore and she can just wholly be herself.

Thank you and goodnight

[hootylover2000]

My brother just sent me this

I fucking hate him

[felixravinstills]

I watched Solaris (2002) last night, and young Viola Davis was there! As a doctor/scientist! And there was also a young man named Snow!

An 'if I had a nickel for everytime this happened, then I'd have two nickels' situation to be sure. Very strange that it has happened twice.

[greyias]

Before taking the Gale Squad to Spider Town to continue their horrible luck with animals, I decided it was more thematically appropriate to give them a reason to go down there. So I headed into the Alchemist's Shop/basement. They handily mopped up the little "surprise" left down there (I might have to toggle on Tactician Mode soon), and when I opened the chest with the scroll for Best Quasit Girl™, I found a surprise:

I genuinely don't remember these items being there in my first playthrough. Anyway, time to get even more sidekicks into the Gale Squad!

[luvlinkd]

✿  I slide you raf as a treat !

bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other - "it feels like i've known you all my life" friendship where they click with each other immediately

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from my muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other  - "it feels like i've known you all my life" (i wonder why)

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other

ANTAGONISTIC.     dangerous to each other  /  dangerous to others  /  unpredictable  /  rivals  /  petty  /  developing into sexual or romantic tension  /  based off family matters  /  based of off circumstance  /  based of professional matters  /  based off misunderstanding or lies  /  conflict of ideology  /  betrayal  /  hero - villain dynamic  /  enemies  /  fight club  /  friends turned enemies  /  lovers turned enemies  /  exes turned enemies  /  other 

pre-established relationships.

[puppydog-princess]

Another night with Her? Should I smirk when she stares me down or should I try to bite?

-🌸

my eye started twitching reading this. brat.

[lighthouseborn]

you know not to be spontaneously entirely too ambitious in the middle of the night but i've long since had an Idea of how some changes to dmtnt could make it a more Compelling addition to the franchise and i've technically already started work on compiling those ideas into a fic but. i've admittedly had trouble pulling said fic together for real in earnest and i've thought it was because there's just so many moving parts in a way that im not traditionally used to manipulating (e.g. ALL the characters(.jpg)) but i maybe in this moment think it's also because i have largely been writing with a sharp and distinct focus on Henry/Carina as the dual protagonists and it might actually take more of an ensemble approach to get it right and what im trying to get to is the thought i just had of maybe actually. there should be separate but converging storylines and maybe i need to involve his parents more than they currently are.

[akuma-tenshi]

i should REALLY be writing but i have no thoughts other than stupid disjointed shitposts

[izar-tarazed]

still thinking about Dark Souls Izar being one of the sealers who flooded New Londo, despite having been fond of the city and having been close with a darkwraith. Everything about them is like a dark and more intense reflection of Elden Ring Izar and Ensha (who do have some obstacles and challenges to maneuver in their friendship as well, but nothing as tense in comparison).

so Sealer Izar and Darkwraith Ensha were everything to each other, yet she still helped flood the city because her fellow mages convinced her it was the right thing to do and the darkwraiths had to be contained, all of them; that with the threat of the Abyss, there was absolutely no hope for this to end well. (And I think this is why she ends up being the Chosen Undead later: her ability to do what is seemingly right, even if it goes against her own instincts and affinities and emotional bonds; a trait that can be exploited so well by others).

She probably tried to warn at least her darkwraith about what was going to happen without giving away too much (after all, she could not betray her fellow sealers), urging him to leave New Londo, but only ended up irritating him since she was basically asking him to give up his loyalty to the Four Kings, and he wasn’t going to do that. This led them to fall out, and was probably the last straw for her to join in on the flooding: It felt like the confirmation that the other sealers were right, there was no hope for redemption for any darkwraith. (Convinced that he was never going to choose her over his duties, she didn't either; the tragedy being that they maybe both would have chosen each other if she had been more forthright with him.)

Yet still, once the city was flooded and sealed, she couldn’t bear staying there, and fled, purged her memories, shed her crimson robe, intending to walk away forever.

Of course, she ends up remembering, and drains the ruins (so much time has passed). But what then. Does she find him again. Maybe he even remembers... but that of course means that there’s no way he’ll ever forgive her.

[aerieherbal]

Sometimes I think about the negatives of authenticity. Authenticity is important to me and if I'm following someone I want to see the real them, even the ugly parts. Most people don't want this though, they want a perfect person who fits in their perfect bubble and has never had any real flaws. Minor flaws are fine, but real deep soul changes? Naw. You were a bad person in the past? Naw. You had spiritual growth that wasn't surface or palatable. Nope, not a fan. The world isn't ready for real healing, so if they see a true change, they can't handle the deviation from their perfect character they found.

This is just a random thought. Not pertaining to anything lol enjoy.

[felixravinstills]

lu is in fact upset that today's chat did not happen when she was with me...

[randomnameless]

Thinking about muhritocracy again or as our Supreme Leader puts it, "rising and falling by your own merit" -

Isn't Cyril basically the poster child of this ideal sucking?

Both in Almyra and during his spiritual retreat in House Goneril, Cyril mentions that he had to "work hard", it's implied he had to work hard to earn whatever keep he could have (food, but even then that was not common).

Cyril embracing muhritocracy also wants to work "real hard" to repay Rhea, otherwise he feels like he cannot remain in Garreg Mach.

We know the Nabs would never kick him out for this reason (hell Hilda was enrolled and Manu is still a teacher) and both Seteth and Rhea (the latter only did so off-screen and it's basically mentionned in his S support with Billy bcs Rhea can't have screentime I guess) tell him that while repaying a debt is admirable, he needs to start on living now.

Aka, Cyril is allowed to "exist" and "live" even without overworking himself to the bone to have the "right to exist".

Now, FE Fodlan being what it is, the angle of GM being a safehaven/place where old people, children and basically people who cannot "rise due to their own merits" live is completely ignored bar that off-handed comment in Cyril's support with Claude that Rhea basically wants to make a place for people without status/who are vulnerable.

And that place is Garreg Mach.

CS introduces the Abyss that is basically GM+Asylum for people seeking it, even if Aelfric paints it with a Rhea BaD veneer, it's here to offer a shelter to those who are "persecuted" on the "surface" like Dagdans and Almyrans, the poor, the sick, etc etc - basically a "place for those who have nowhere to go".

Constance's family was demoted to nothing by Ionius because they failed to defend Adrestia against Dagda? Her house "fell" by its own "lack of muhrit"... so GM offers her a place to be, even if she (her house, but Adrestia always deals with Houses and not with people!) failed once.

Tldr : GM is the place that completely pissed on Muhritocracy, and where people who have no "muhrit"/status are supported/receive help by the Church.

Cyril works very hard to "earn" the right to remain in GM, but he has yet to understand (only with his supports with the Nabateans!) that he doesn't need to "earn" any right to be and live in Garreg Mach, it's just that kind of place.