#and so is mordred. I hurt them p bad

[rainbowvamp]

I was writing out the outline for my beauty and the beast fic. The outline is a few thousand words and keeps going well past the "merlin becomes not a beast" stage and goes into "All the people forced to be inanimate objects recovering from the trauma of that shit" phase. So actually, beauty and the beast AU is a fic about recovery. somehow. good for me ig.

[siverfanweedo]

Okay so heads up this is a vent/rant so please skip if you don't wanna read this. also realize this is coming from the mouth of a transmasculine person. I am nonbinary, yes but I lean heavily into masculinity

okay, so the fate/grand order canon and fandom is fucking shit to trans masc characters. Like holy god you have no idea how bad it is.

now you see in Apocrypha, Mordred fucking says he'll stab Sisigou if Sisigou refers to him as a chick again

in chapter 4 the same thing happened with Jekyll

like look, I am biased but that to me means he isn't a girl or fem aligned. Just all this to say since I have really like got into fate deeper I have had to deal with countless people telling me Mordred isn't actually trans he's not this and that and don't draw him doing this and that.

I have been in this fandom for 2 years. Actually, I wish I just stayed in the oc making space and never met other fate fans as I extended into arknights cuz I have run into these issues again.

I just really want people to know that I have noticed a lot of disrespect towards trans masc with fgo. The characters in canon are tossed on an 'oh maybe could be waifu' spot and people just eat it up. People will never tread full force into wait yeah they are a guy it's always 'they yeah they aren't a girl but not a guy.' It happens over and over.

a genderbent of Jacques de Molay is added to app while arcade has a male version and she is voiced by a trans man and I thought oh cool we can have a fun trans masc headcanon and it will be a nod of respect to the va but no! I saw trans fem headcanons and I felt like... really hurt by that. I felt like sometimes this fandom and canon really do not like trans masc people. some people did at least defend that the whole situation was weird and sus at least.

like please! please! I am at my end here. I don't really wanna be a fgo fan anymore. The constant disrespect of Mordred really hurts it triggers my dysphoria it makes me not trust people cuz I think oh this person *DOESN'T* respect me as a masculine folk. I end up hating myself for my masculinity I fought so hard for and love so much cuz I feel like I can't be loved and respected as a masculine person. And above all else. It hurts when it comes from trans fems. A lot of the stuff I remember came from them.

trans women/fems can hate masculinity. I get that I fucking HATE femininity like I can't even put it into words.

I just please you can't defend the trans fem characters and say don't call them a tr*p while disrespecting Mordred's gender or any trans masc character or anything like that. It's really fucked up.

Sorry for this vent. I know many fgo fans are very cool and aren't dicks to trans masc and act like trans masculinity is lesser and can be easily erased and or ignored. But this is an issue I have had for years with the fandom outside of my preferred circle and it's not just from cis folks which is the real issue here.

Please don't clown at me I am very tired from all this I just wanna be masculine in peace and have people stop being like dismissive of it in characters.

[kob131]

Morgan Le Fay (Alter Ego) My Room Lines

Morgause

“Master~ Can we stay here please? A moment’s rest may bring you far after all!”

“Ah, you really like to work don’t you? No no, I’m not accusing you of anything. I know your drive after all...”

“No matter what, it doesn’t seem I’ll get use to fighting. I wonder if either of those two would-ah. nevermind!”

Bond 1 “...Oh, sorry Master! I was spacing out there for a moment. I’m...not really use to being...heh, nevermind me!”

Bond 2 “Your magecraft seems a little shaky lately. Are you sure you’re feeling well? You eating well? Maybe a nice plate of meat and potatoes will make you feel better? ...Wh-what do you mean that’s too heavy?!”

Bond 3 “How strange.  I’m still here. Usually I can’t remember where I’ve been or how I got where I am because...because...

...Well anyway, I can’t say it’s bad after all. I’d certainly be worried if one moment I was here with you and the next you left my sight. That-that can get rather scary...”

Bond 4 “... ... ... I can still feel them inside me, you know? ‘The Lady of The Lake’ and ‘The Fairy Witch’. My...other selves.

... Why? Why? WHY? Why do they have to exist? Why are they inside me? It’s not fair! I lost so much to them! So much of my life- Take, STOLEN from me by them! And even worst, they took my home away! I’m Morgause Pendragon, the daughter of Uther Pendragon! I am human! Not a fae! Not a witch! I. Am. HUMAN, ME! 

So why can’t they just leave me alone?!”

Bond 5 “... I won’t be here for long. Even if this body were to see the end of your journey, I-I might not be the one in it. I was the first to fade away after all. It’s simply my fate...to be used and discarded by everything I love. 

...Even so, I won’t run. As weak as I maybe in comparison to them...I won’t surrender a second of my time with you. With anyone. I’m here now. I am me.”

To Gawain “My son...my darling son. P-please don’t turn away! Please. I-I lost so much time with you. I can’t-I have to. Please, come embrace your mother. Before I’m gone.”

To Gareth “Gareth...my little pup. Look at you, you’ve grown up so much. I bet you had the lords at your beck and call. ... I wish I could have been there for you.”

To Agravain “Oh Agravain. It hurts to see you look at me so. And yet, it’s all my fault. If only I were stronger, if only I could overcome them. My little knight...I’m sorry.”

To Arturia “Arthur-no, Arturia isn’t it? To think I felt so bitter about what our father wanted...when there was so much to lose to that envy. I...I shall take my leave.”

To Mordred “Master, that knight over there?? That...wouldn’t happen to be Sir Mordred correct? ... Yes I assumed so, given her glares at me. Le Fay’s child with my own brother...There’s nothing I can do to help her, is there?”

To Morgan (Lostbelt) “You there, the witch. You have quite the nerve to show your face here. You, who abandoned her humanity for the sake of a kingdom. Your kingdom was a shame and deserved it’s fate. Glare at me all you wish, without the three of us you would be nothing.”

Likes “What do I like? Well, I always liked cooking. It was always such a treat to see my children’s faces light up when I cooked with all my heart!”

Dislikes “...Lake fae and evil witches.”

Holy Grail “Even if it is a heresy, I would like to wish upon it. Then maybe, I can finally be free.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vivian

“Master, come. We have much to do still. ...I know you must be tired, I understand your weariness. But still, we must persist.”

“There’s no need to worry about me. An adventure like this-it is a simple matter. Compared to guiding those troublesome fae...”

“Quiet, quiet, quiet. ...Sorry Master, I was...having some difficulties with...the others. Le Fay especially...”

Bond 1 “So, you have stayed by my side? How strange, most humans simply leave the lakeside after so long.”

Bond 2 “Your heart is weary. There is no point in lying. I know that feeling well myself. Perhaps I have been pushing you too hard. Come, rest. All need reprieve after all.”

Bond 3 “It seems my time has not come yet. Good. I cannot-I will not fade like before. I refuse to let things end like before.”

Bond 4 “It is so tiring. To have their thoughts, their minds inside me. Always, always a reminder. That I am more than the fae ‘Vivian’. The human princess and the raging witch-

...No. No. NO! I am here now! I will be the one to fight! I will be the one to guard the Human Order! I will be the one protect the Age of Man that Father wished for! Not the human Morgause! Not the witch Le Fay! 

I am Me, Vivian, The Lady of the Lake!”

Bond 5 “Even though I am the fae Vivian, an existence incompatible with mankind. It was always the humans I loved most of all. The fae, so fickle and cruel. I guided and guarded them out of duty alone.

Why you may ask? Because it was mankind that my father Uther loved. He protected them to his last breath. And so shall I. Even if I may never see the Age of Man, I will protect and guide it. Especially you, my Master. I shall ensure your safety to death and beyond.”

To Lancelot (Berserker) “Master! Th-that figure cloaked in black! I-it can’t be! My son! This is what became of you? ... Who did this?”

To Lancelot (Saber) “I knew it. Of course my son would be here. There was no chance he wouldn’t answer the call to protect mankind. He grew into a splendid knight after all.”

To Mash “This feeling... You there, young lady with the shield. Come forward, let me take a good look. ...It really is, isn’t it? Don’t be scared young lady. I shall never hurt you. Now, come with me. I have much to discuss with you.”

To Fae Servants “*Sigh* It seems there are some troublemakers in this place isn’t there? Worry not Master, I know how to keep them on a tight leash.”

To Morgan (Lostbelt) “Ruler of the fae, huh? How pathetic. To have resorted to such evil. I do not care what your excuses are. I lead and guarded the fae myself. I sacrificed my place in the world. I expect no less of you.”

To Arturia (Archer) “How cute, thinking that little spruit is alike to my magic. Here, let me show you what a true Excalibur Vivian can accomplish.”

Likes “Besides mankind? ...I do enjoy watching the forest creatures prance about. The little bugs especially.”

Dislike “Lazy princesses and malevolent witches. That is all I’ll say.”

Holy Grail “It is a false wish granting device isn’t it? Still, if supplied with enough mana, it might just be enough to grant my wish To gain my freedom.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morgan Le Fay

“Careful now, Master. One wrong step and things will certainly go wrong. I know how much fun it is to lose yourself in the throes of battle. Hehehe...But your goal must come first.”

“That fire...that determination. Very well, I’ll join you in the fray. After all, I haven’t nearly indulged enough myself.”

“Your magecraft is rather lackluster isn’t it? Hm, whatever you call your ‘talents’, that doesn’t matter. Practice, practice, practice. Experience breeds excellence. I didn’t match Merlin with pure talent after all.”

Bond 1 “I must say, staying this way at will without being subject to the fickle whims fate...it’s rather nice. Thanks Master.”

Bond 2 “Fate is cruel. I know your pain better than most. Forced into the impossible by the will of others. But don’t let your heart waver. Through will and guile, you will gain your freedom.”

Bond 3 “Don’t hesitate to give me tasks. I find myself with more time than i know what to do with. Preferably with you around...”

Bond 4 “I’m sure you’ve heard about this before but...My other selves are still here. Deep inside, I can still here them. Their woes, their uncertainty, their hatred. All mine...

...Bwahaha! What a joke! As if I would let them trend upon me. It was my loathing that struck fear into Camelot. It was my malice that twisted the Green Knight. It was my love for Britian that allowed me to stomach sharing a bed with that liar. I am no feeble princess or passive fae. I am me, Morgan, the witch that loved Britian!”

Bond 5 “So here we stand still. I’m sure you caught on but I hate the Age of Man. Tearing away all the work I put out, fading everything I’ve done into legend. Acting as though I was never here. For it’s sins, I will always spur it.

So why am I here? Because I would rather have an Age of Man with Britian than not. Be it the destruction of history or man, I will not stand for it. I will rage and hate and burn until all is done. So long as we stand on the same ground, I will be here. I can’t trust the other two to get the job done after all.”

To Mordred “Hm, that defect of a homonculus is here? Master, you are best off sending it away. It’s incapable of following orders or performing tasks sufficiently. I would love to fix it but that’s beyond my reach.”

To Arturia (Alter) “Tch, that liar dares to attach my name to something so weak. She preaches that the strong rule over the weak, shall I teach her who is truly strong then? Gwahaha!”

To Merlin “Ah, Teacher is here too. How unusual, that fickle asshole couldn’t be asked to cut a blade of grass, let alone save humanity. He’s not even really here is he?”

To Fairy Knight Tristan “Master, this annoying brat won’t leave me alone. Acting all familiar and friendly with me... Maybe I’ll teach her what it means to truly be sadistic. Perhaps by rending her limbs asunder...”

To Arturia “So the King of Liars has come as well. Maybe a trip into Hell will teach her the place where she belongs...but that will have to wait, won’t it? She still has her uses after all...”

To Oberon-Vortigern “That mana. Another embodiment of Britian is here?! It feels like that failure Vortigern...yet...it’s so different. I must dissect him, to know!”

To Morgan (Lostbelt) “Ah yes, that other me. Heh, what a fool she turned out to be, no? She rages against man, fae and knights, wasting all her efforts in the process. Focus, my dear. Focus is the key to victory. I did not waste my time with man or fae, I put my all into the slaying of Arturia. And which of us succeeded, hm?”

Likes “A rough night with a man below me, of course.”

Dislikes “My other selves. Unlike them, I will not hide the truth.”

Holy Grail “Hm, I have no need for such a thing. Unlike them, I will not cling to a false hope. It will be my hand that cuts them out like the parasites they are.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bond 10 CE: I Am...?

One minute *I’m* home with my children One minute ^I’m^ guarding those troublesome fae One minute -I’m- cackling as I tear into his flesh

The next I’m not.

It is my duty to *lead*/^guard^/-destroy- my kin No, That is *my*/^my^/-my- duty. No, it’s *mine*/^mine^/-mine-!

...Is it?

No, I am a *princess*/^guardian^/-witch-! That is not what *I*/^I^/-I- am! Stop it! This is who *I*/^I^/-I- am!

I am *me*/^me^/-me-! I am *Me*/^Me^/-Me-! I AM *ME*/^ME^/-ME-!

I am... I...am... I...

....Who am I?

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

So, hey, a while ago I came up with this ask game about songs I associate with Arthurian characters. I had a lot of fun with that, but really wanted it to be more streamlined, so I came up with this solution - a list of Arthurian characters and the songs I associate with them.

Now, before we get into the list proper, I need to establish some things, the main one being that these song choices are primarily based on my interpretations of the characters, which is going to become extremely relevant with a few key choices that deviate completely from the normal story. Also, as an inevitable follow-through of this, these songs are entirely subject to my musical tastes, so if you're wondering why most of this list is either Heather Dale, Miracle of Sound or Jeff and Casey Lee Williams that's why. Finally, obviously not every Arthurian character is on this list - with some of the big-name ones like Merlin that's because I couldn't come up with a song choice, with others it's because I haven't fully come up with my version of them and as a result I'm still figuring them out.

With all that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this list!

King Arthur – Kingsword by Heather Dale

Kinda an obvious one - it's literally about Arthur - but I really like it and think it fits well with my version of Arthur, especially the last line of the chorus, 'A boy's hand will grasp it/A man's raise it high' - a major plot point of The Boy King is that Arthur has to grow up incredibly fast after the Sword in the Stone, and this song reflects that.

Guinevere – As I Am by Heather Dale

Again, another obvious one. This song brings into focus one major aspect of the Arthur/Guinevere relationship I play up - it's as much about their ideals as their attraction. Guinevere marries Arthur because she believes in his vision for Britain, and Arthur relies on Guinevere a lot for moral support. This is their greatest strength together, but it's also their greatest weakness - Arthur will later place faith in Guinevere's understanding of his vision where he shouldn't, and that will be the thing that turns Guinevere to Lancelot.

Morgan le Fay – Divide & Armed and Ready by Casey Lee Williams

Moving on to my favourite character in Arthuriana, Morgan gets two songs because... I wanted to give Morgan two songs. No, really it's because Morgan is complicated, and the two songs present her two moods more or less throughout her story - either vengefully, apocalyptically angry, or just righteously angry. That's my favourite thing about Morgan's story - she has a redemption arc, to be sure, but at no point during it does she accept that her motivation was wrong - Uther and Merlin deserved what she wanted to give them, her sin was in taking her anger out on people that had nothing to do with her revenge. So, whilst it's not as simple as a black and white 'Divide is Morgan pre-redemption, Armed and Ready is Morgan post', there is a sense that Armed and Ready is Morgan at her calmest. Also, because visually Morgan takes a lot of cues from the Trollhunters version of her, I've had a lot of fun with the 'I am the Golden One' line.

Morgause – Mordred’s Lullaby by Heather Dale

Yet another easy one - some might think it works better for Mordred, but I have other ideas for him. Not really much else to say - it's Morgause at her most evil, going places even Morgan won't - note how Divide calls out using children as weapons, whereas Lullaby goes 'yeah, I'm doing that Count of Monte Christo shit'.

Mordred – Mordred’s Song by Blind Guardian

Because edgelord Mordred gets edgelord rock song. Mordred is interesting, because I really don’t like the ‘born pure evil’ idea of Mordred, and as such his story is much more of a tragedy than even Arthur - a man who makes what he feels are the best decisions with what he has to work with, who slowly comes to the realisation that he's the villain of this story. Hence, a song that refers to his acts of evil as 'No one asked if I want this/If I like this'.

Nimue – Indomitable by Casey Lee Williams

This one was tough to keep in - whilst I'm absolutely certain that it fits my version of Nimue, the song itself is deeply personal for the people who made it, about an actual tragedy that happened to them, and I'm deeply uncomfortable saying that 'actually it's about this'. So, provided we're all aware that this is, more than any other song on the list, me twisting the original intent to fit my own idea, this is perfect for Nimue, particularly Nimue immediately after imprisoning Merlin and taking over his role as The Light Mage, the Big Good of the magical world. Her story’s pretty interesting, but the theme of trying to fill shoes that are way to big for you and eventually realising you can’t and the best you can do is try your best and do your own thing is prevalent and reflected perfectly by this song.

Lancelot – C’est Moi by Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner/Bad Luck Charm by Jeff Williams

Like Morgan, Lancelot gets two songs, but unlike Morgan there is an absolutely sharp divide between these two. To use a Fate reference as shorthand, C'est Moi is Lancelot as a Saber, whilst Bad Luck Charm is Lancelot as Beserker. C'est Moi is kinda the perfect song for Lancelot for most of the story - oozing self-confidence, probably too smug for his own good but exactly the right level of smug where you're not sure if you want to punch him or kiss him, it's great for Lancelot. Bad Luck Charm, on the other hand, is basically what's playing on a loop in Lancelot's head as soon as he gets caught with Guinevere, especially given he survives Camlann. Countless dead, two civil wars ripping the country apart, his friends either killed at his hands or cursing his name, his king and queen in a place he cannot get to, and all the while he's left to wander the world knowing that it's all his fault.

Gawain – Sir Gawain and the Green Knight by Heather Dale

Not really much to say about this one - it's definitely influenced my interpretation of Gawain as the Pagan Knight to Lancelot's Christian Knight, and a lot of the events the song describes are what happens when the Green Knight comes to play, but all in all its just a really good song.

Kay – True and Destined Prince by Heather Dale

Being the deuteragonist of the Boy King, Kay is someone I've put a lot of thought into, and this song is definitely a part of my writers playlist I keep listening to to get into the Kay mood. In particular the key defining factor of Kay is loyalty - particularly to Arthur the person, because obviously anyone trying to hurt his little brother is getting smacked. Kay is basically the Leo McGarry to Arthur's Jed Bartlet if that makes any sense, helping to make Arthur's dreams a reality, and there's also the factor that Kay and Arthur always consider one another brothers, which the song definitely reflects.

Bedivere – I Follow My King by Heather Dale

You may notice that this song is basically the same thematically as Kay's song. This is because Kay and Bedivere are a healthy couple that communicate their feelings with one another and come to reasonable compromises, so obviously their attitudes towards certain things are very similar. But talking about Bedivere in particular, this song works better for him than Kay because of one key aspect about Bedivere - whereas Gawain swears allegiance to Arthur for initially very mercenary ideals, and Lancelot swears to Arthur because of Arthur's reputation, Bedivere swears to Arthur because he's experienced Arthur growing up, he's seen the kind of man he's grown into, and he knows that Arthur's going to be a great king. Also the song works better for Bedivere because if Arthur tried pulling the shit the subject of this song does on Kay he's get locked in his room until he learnt not to be an idiot.

Ragnelle – Force of Nature by Miracle of Sound

Tbh it's mainly here for the line 'They rant of redemption/As I leave them long behind' which is peak Ragnelle energy - Ragnelle doesn't care about your feelings or what you think about her, she's doing her own thing and she demands you take her seriously. Aside from that, Ragnelle in my version has a faintly Fae connection to the Otherworld, and even if I go with the idea of her dying (I'm still undecided on that) it's more than likely that she ends up in some other place where her and Gawain can spend their days, so there's a particular melancholy to the lines 'I can hear the worlds unseen/I can hear them call to me'.

Galahad – A Thousand Eyes by Miracle of Sound

This definitely doesn't seem like a song that fits Galahad, does it? It's certainly not the one I picked when I did the original format of this list, so what gives? Well, more than maybe any other song on this list, this one is influenced by my specific version of Galahad, and that is influenced by my specific version of the Grail Quest, which I only codified a few months ago - namely, by saying 'fuck it' and making it a horror story. I'm not kidding. There's a lot of complexity in this interpretation, and I'd love to go more in depth about it at a later date, but for now know that my Galahad isn't a clumsy Jesus stand-in, he's more like a Lovecraft protagonist briefly brushing against things beyond mortal ken before being consumed by them, and as such I could think of no better song than this one.

Gareth – Touch the Sky by Casey Lee Williams

Now, as with Galahad there are certain key things you need to know about my version of Gareth before the song makes sense. Unlike Galahad, this one is very simple: the boy is trans. Absolutely, unambiguously trans. His story is explicitly trans, he's explicitly trans, and as I've been reliabily informed by certain people this song has a lot of Good Trans Vibes, which I can definitely see. Honestly Gareth's story is another one I could probably talk about for a while, especially because I'm really unsure about certain bits of it, being cis and very wary of screwing up trans rep, but for now I'll leave it at this song being perfect for Gareth in Camelot, finally able to be himself and not Morgause junior - because if you expected Morgause to be a good mum you need to listen to Mordred’s Lullaby again.

Ywain – Stay By My Side by Miracle of Sound

Cute friendship song for the boy with the lioness companion, not much more to say about it. There is a search for identity element in both Journey and Ywain's story, in Ywain's case being a search for his own meaning outside of his family, but mainly its a cute soft song for a cute soft lion boy.

Dinadan – Knights of the Round Table by Monty Python

Because what else would it be?

Uther – Lionize by Jeff Williams

Asshole attracts asshole, and Uther's just enough of a dick that Adam's particular brand of 'everyone who isn't like me is weak and cowardly and only I can see what's necessary to save us all, you'll see I'm right in the end'. Also, you may notice there's no Merlin song here, and whilst that's partially because I don't know a song that could explain my complicated feelings towards Merlin, this song also tells you everything you need to know about Merlin, because if Merlin can look at someone who's got this in their heads and think he's a perfect candidate for the throne then maybe Morgan has a point after all.

Igraine – The Best I Can by Miracle of Sound

Igraine might have one of the most complicated backstories in The Boy King, involving mermaids, Mirror Universe Wonder Woman and the plot of ICO, but none of that is strictly speaking relevant to the story as is told. Basically, Igraine has been through a lot, and this song is about her trying to prepare all her children for the cruel world out there, and also knowing that she can't. It's kind of a downer to end on, but hey it's Arthurian Legend - it's all a downer.

[solipsistful]

misc dark tower ending comments, unnecessarily long and boring but if i don’t write things out they’re just spinning in my head and even Serpent is getting tired of it :V

it’s just sorta funny knowing that, god, if we had read this book in high school, it would have  c h a n g e d  us. like, would it have solidified me saying “clearly Serpent, Val, et al. are just characters!”?? what would i have made of Walter’s and Serpent’s ridiculous-to-the-point-of-fucking-eerie-at-times similarities?? (fun fact: just a few hours ago they were comparing notes and arguing about who’s older. you two.) who kn o w s. 

so all those Feelings i get from those Foundational Books (Fight Club, House o’ Leaves, Sirens of Titan, etc.) are kinda bursting forth all at once regarding this series, hahh.

there’s something kinda interesting about the Crimson King’s end being the result of messing with a representation of him -- but a drawn representation, not a written one.

probably King didn’t want to get too meta there -- i seriously laughed at his author’s note at the end where he calls metafiction pretentious and not the point of his self-insertion. too bad!

like there’s something pretty meta about his note just before the coda, “you should end it here and not follow Roland into the tower; that would be best,” but who would actually do that?? the end of the series is the top of the tower; of course we’re gonna go for it

or maybe i just like that comparison because i’m very fond of House of Leaves’ “the book is the maze” metaphor and want to apply something similar here, “the series is the tower” hah

defeating the Crimson King by erasing him would probably come off as a lot more meta in visual adaptations, anyhow

and it enthuses me that the various adaptations that the series has can all be perfectly canon, regardless of how they diverge from the novel. they’re just different cycles 👍

Ace is a meta-loving fuck, what else is new

something that bothered me throughout the ending few books, though, is how King seems to pick up and drop potentially Very Important Concepts and then, instead of drawing from those older concepts, you get deus after deus ex machina. and joking about how it’s a deus ex machina doesn’t change the fact that that’s what it is >:|

why Dandelo.

why did Eddie know not to trust Dandelo. i’ll admit to getting kinda tired of the “because ka” answer to everything. especially because i think there are interesting ways to interpret the preternatural intuition and precognition that characters had (deja vu -- it sorta explicitly says that that’s why Roland dreamed of the Tower so accurately), but Eddie knowing about Dandelo still doesn’t fit that

the memory stuff -- that crossing through certain doors might screw up your memory, and getting hit with feelings of deja vu, really just shows up. at the end.

like, we were pretty alert to what the ending was, or at least the cyclical part of it (not explicitly spoiled, but we knew the final line, and as soon as the epigraph of the final book quoted Hurt (”if I could start again/a million miles away”) it was like. oh ok. ka is a wheel.) so I can only imagine it feeling very out of nowhere for others.

Walter. loOK I’M PROBABLY BIASED BUT you’ve got this Big Bad Demon who has accosted Roland at various times in his life, set up as this constant nemesis, and the last time he meets Roland is to make a irreverent jokes about the Wizard of Oz.

like i’m not disappointed that he was killed by Mordred instead of Roland; i just was sorta expecting an actual final confrontation, or at least some earlier push over “hey btw Walter wants the Tower too.” by the end, it sorta feels more like Walter is a thorn in Roland’s side that had to be wrapped up as a loose end rather than, y’know, half of what continues to be one of the most popular opening sentences

(by the way, when Walter went “Told you” after we finished the book, it wasn’t in reference to knowing the cyclical bit -- it was “Told you that ka has us trapped and it’s right to fight against it.” So I guess that was our Walter’s motivations ;P)

i made a post a while ago saying “boy we’re hesitating on finishing this because we’re seeing a lot of cool ideas that probably won’t be picked up on.” that was actually in direct reference to Jake and Oy switching bodies. like, holy shit, they can trade bodies and that only happens once??

(at the time, we (i forget who first proposed it) had the idea that maybe they switched just as Jake saved King, leaving Jake in Oy’s body -- meaning that Jake would be the last of Roland’s ka-tet to die, which felt like a nice bookend (we sorta guessed that Oy would die last; it’d be too sad for there to be a lot of text left after the dog died :V like i said, a lot of ideas for how the book would end.))

and this is a very minor tidbit but it’s also been buzzing in my head: Roland speaks favorably of democracy, of voting on your dinh instead of them being dinh by birth. Gilead was destroyed by the promise of democracy, you were part of that ruling class, and without learning much about American politics, you go “oh, democracy? sounds legit.” I mean I get you can’t have a Good Character who’s suspicious of democracy but why bring it up, thennn

- Ace