#and sy had her hair just down but it was clearly styled to be that way

[miyeosin]

miyeon’s hair in the tams zero video….😕

[abovethesmokestacks]

Kiss Me

Title: Kiss Me

Pairing: Captain Syverson x reader

Rating: T

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Very intense kissing? Some grinding?

I am back on my Henry bullshit, this time with the lovely Captain Syverson. As with my last Henry fic, this came about from a discussion with Brooke, which led to a personalized fic, and she graciously okayed me posting it as a reader insert for the rest of you to enjoy. Partly inspired by the video of strangers kissing for the first time. And if this guy were the one I’d get to kiss? Hold on while I go full koala on him.

The early afternoon sun had seemed blistering when she left her apartment, and the sundress had been the obvious option; light, breezy material, a pretty pattern that combined comfort and style. The sun had nothing on the man sitting down opposite her now, radiating a kind of warmth and confidence that had heat creeping up her chest and neck, her fingers fiddling in her lap.

It had been a spur of the moment decision, an audition call shared by a recent acquaintance on Instagram. Film majors at the nearby college needed volunteers for a course project, weekend appointments, no experience needed, come as you are. Sounded fun, her weekends were mostly open anyway. What could possibly go wrong. She had messaged the contact person, gotten an address and a time to show up.

The first shock, admittedly, had come as she was signed in, given a form to fill out, detailing the project. She. Was going to kiss. A stranger. In front of cameras. For a film project. 

“Miss? Are you alright?” The bubbly brunette who had signed her in, Abigail, according to the name tag tacked to her t-shirt, had looked at her, and she realized she must have made a sound.

“No! No, I'm fine, I- I just didn’t realize I’d- That this was-”

“Oh! Oh, you’ll be fine, there will be people in the room, you'll be safe as houses, darling, we won't say your names, that'll be up to you to share if you want.” The twang of her accent had was oddly comforting, but her heart was still racing, and suddenly, the handful of people lined up sitting in the corridor seemed all the more dangerous. She was going to kiss one of them. Fuck. Hastily, she'd filled out the rest of the form, handing it back and taking the number given, finding the nearest chair and trying to rifle through her purse as discreetly as she could for a chewing gum or a breath mint. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She had nearly launched out of her seat when her number was called, probably doing a credible impression of a deer caught in headlights. Abigail had smiled at her, motioning for her to follow.

“I promise, you will be fine. Our project manager wanted to explore the intimacy of the first kiss, what happens in those seconds before.”

“Why strangers?”

“It’s more… honest,” Abigail had said. “Couples know each other, know what to expect. They are comfortable. And it’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing sweeter. I still remember my grandpa kissing my grandma goodnight when my brother and I would stay over when we were kids, the absolute comfort and love between them. But strangers, they don’t know what to expect. There’s a level of trust between them, courage to take the leap.”

That’s… She couldn’t decide if that eased her mind or set it racing even more. She’d simply nodded, letting Abigail lead her to a door a little way ahead, unlocking it for her.

“You can leave your purse on the table on the right when you enter. Then go sit in one of the chairs. I’ll bring the guy in shortly. The camera will start rolling as soon as he sits down, you can introduce yourself if you want, just your name, doesn't even have to be your real one if you don't want to, and you can share whatever else you feel comfortable sharing and then…”

“Then we kiss.”

It had seemed so simple, so straightforward in all its terrifying simplicity.

At first, there is only the outline of him, stark against the light outside the room and showing a muscular frame with tensed shoulders and a wary gait. Folding her hands in her lap, she picks at the fabric of her dress, folding the skirt into tight pleats between her fingers, following the man as he inches closer. Dark jeans that reveal long legs and thick thighs, a worn t-shirt tucked into them that stretches over a chest that is… impressive. His face, though… His face is what sets her heart fluttering all anew. A strong jaw, hidden under a neatly trimmed beard, a slightly pouty lower lip and a perfect cupid’s bow. His nose looks like it may have been broken once, but it’s been set pretty well, lends character to his face, enhanced by the clear blue of his eyes that focus in on her. His hair is short, curling a little at the ends, but kept as neat as his beard, almost like a military man, but she can spot no chain around his neck that would hold his dog tags.

And then, he’d walked in. 

She barely hears the murmur to her left when the cameras start rolling.

He doesn’t speak until he’s sitting down, gaze on her, softening a little as he holds out a hand.

“Ca- Shit, sorry. No names, right?” He looks at her, almost a little scared that he’s messed up, and it is far too endearing for such a rugged man.

Without hesitation, she gives her first name, her real first name, a little surprised at herself for offering it along with her hand. His hand is calloused, warm and big, her own palm almost drowning in his clasp when he takes it. “Nice to meet you.”

The man laughs, releasing her hand and relaxing in his seat. “Sy. Nice to meet you, too. Pardon me if I'm being rude, but you don't sound like you're from around here.”

“Here for work for the next couple of months. Gotta say, you've got a pretty good ear.”

His eyes sparkle, a smile tugging at his lips, and god, the heat rises in her again, different from the apprehension that had her worked up just moments ago. He is the kind of man that draws you in, that can make you melt with a look, and she is fading fast. She is going to kiss him. He is going to kiss her.

“I won't hold it against you," Sy quips, hands resting on his thighs, and god, she wants to feel them on her.

"Me not being from around here? Or are we talking about something else?"

"Well, I was thinking the first..."

His words trail off, the suggestion hanging heavy in the silence. It feels like it stretches an eternity between them, but it's probably no more than five seconds. She's about to ask if they should start, if she should move, but Sy is looking at her, gaze wandering, assessing. The way he takes her in,i's not objectifying or greedy, not judgmental. It's… curiosity. Assessing her, planning his move, appreciating her, and she can feel it, feel his gaze move up and down her face, when it dips down for a fraction to her chest.

Everything fades with his first move. There are no cameras, no people, no one but them. Sy moves slowly, deliberately, scooting to sit on the edge of the chair, knee knocking against hers. It's electric, making her flinch and gasp, and that seems to please him. His hand comes up to rest on her knee, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb, locking eyes with her, willing her to relax.

"There we go…" Sy croons when she lets out a small sigh, his voice low and velvety. "Just relax. 'S just you an' me here. Don’t need to think about the rest of ‘em.. I'll be good, darlin', you can trust me. Isn't that right?"

She can only nod, inching towards the edge of her own chair, drawn into his warmth, the gentle timbre of his voice, the smolder behind the blue of his eyes.

"Yeah, that’s right, sugar. C’mon, come closer.”

His voice is hypnotic, not quite a purr, not quite a rumble, but it begs to be obeyed. She leans in closer, the two of them mirroring each other, and the tension is no longer in his shoulder, but sparking between them. His measured breaths fan lightly against her skin, and though everything in her should, by all logic, tell her to run, she finds herself relaxing. Sy’s thumb keeps working tight little circles, and he moves slowly, giving her plenty of time to see his intentions, and God, she welcomes it, tilts her head to welcome him.

It’s no explosion of stars or fireworks. His lips are a little chapped, but he knows how to kiss, working against her in soft pressure and the tease of his tongue along the seam of her lips. It’s not forcing the kiss, just giving her the option, showing that he is offering. When his other hand comes up to cup her cheek, she can’t help the needy whine that escapes her, and Sy smiles into the kiss, deepens it a little, swipes his tongue along her lips again.

She opens, happily surrendering, feeling him push back, soothing his thumb along her cheekbone. He kisses like she is the one thing he has been longing for, his happily ever after at the end of a long adventure. She kisses like he is the single point of stability in a storm, the one safe harbour in the entire world. Their spaces intertwine, slowly phasing and his one hand on her cheek is nowhere near enough. She pushes, Sy gives, and in one fluid moment and a happy sigh, she has straddled his lap, slinging her arms around his neck. She’s not letting go, not leaving this moment, and it’s almost like triumph when he embraces her, palms splaying on her back and she can feel the warmth through the thin material of her dress.

It’s a kiss for the ages, and they’re both hungry, both taking what the other gives freely. Sy’s hands wander, his fingertips teasing at the neckline to brush against heated skin, and she digs short, manicured nails into the skin of his neck, revelling in the groan he lets out. He pulls her closer, and oh. Her stomach does a somersault, a surprised giggle punctuating their kiss. Under her, Sy is hard, and the brief contact makes her all too aware of just how damp her panties have gotten.

There’s a less than discreet cough, and it pops their bubble, their gazes both snapping to the sound. 

Right.

The film crew are standing behind their gear, some squirming, clearly a little uncomfortable. Sy gives a laugh, and it’s hard not to follow. She still feels winded from the kiss, head swimming, and she touches her forehead to his, biting her lower lip.

“I think we… might have overdone it,” she whispers, lips brushing against his cheek.

“I’m inclined to agree,” Sy agrees, his shoulders shuddering with poorly disguised mirth. He looks up at the film crew, “So, are we good?”

“Yup, great! We’re really- we’re good, you guys can, uh… Yeah. Good. Thanks. Um. Yeah. Great.”

They both laugh again at the awkward crew member, and she slowly eases off Sy’s lap. It’s too much of a temptation not to glance down, to raise an eyebrow at the visible bulge pressing against his jeans. He gives her a mock-chiding look before getting up himself, taking care to not face the crew as he falls into step next to her.

“Look,” he says as soon as they are out of the building, wringing his hands as he walks, “I know we just met, and that… that back there was for a project. But, god, sugar, you got my head spinning all kinds of ways, and I… it would be rude to ask to continue right away where we left off, much as I… god, I would really, really like to kiss you again, and… other things… But maybe you would be okay with a date? Anywhere you want. You can get to know me better. I’ll answer any questions you have, I’ll bring character references, I’ll pay for dinner and dessert, whatever you want.”

Halting, she tilts her head and looks up at him. The steely look that had assessed her when he’d entered the room is gone, as is most of the smoldering passion when their kiss had broken. It still lingers in his eyes, simmering behind the hope that made them glitter.

“You’ll answer any question?” she asks, smiling at the way he eagerly nods. “Is your name really Sy?”

“Yes. Well, technically. Syverson’s my last name, so Sy’s just a nickname.”

“And your first name? You started saying something else when you came in.”

“No, that was… I was in the army for a couple of years,” he explained, pulling up one of the sleeves of his shirt to show an army insignia tattooed on his bulging bicep. She bites her tongue, wondering if he had any other tattoos on his body, almost missing when Sy continues speaking, “-made it to captain before I got my honourable discharge. Just became a force of habit to introduce myself as Captain Syverson.”

“So, you’d bring one of your army buddies as your character reference?” She slows down to a stop, clasping her hands in front of herself. “I suppose now that you’re out of the army they wouldn’t feel as compelled to make you look good.”

Sy mirrors her, feet shoulder-width apart and hands clasped in front of him, and yeah, now she can see it, the posture. Definitely army guy. “No, no, god no! The guys in my unit would sooner throw me under the bus if I asked them to vouch for me in front of a pretty lady.”

“Oh, then who’d get the honour?” she asks, blushing at his compliment.

“When you signed in, there was a girl, right? Brown hair?”

“Abigail.”

“Abby,” Sy says, glancing back towards the building. “She’s my sister. Talked me into coming today, said they needed more people.”

“She must have something major hanging over you if she got you to agree to this.” Her voice is light, joking a she inches closer to him.

“Well…” Sy drawls, taking a step forward and gently grasping her hand, “I was promised a really good kiss.”

“A really good kiss, huh?”

Just like before, he makes the first move, hooking his finger under her chin and holding her still while he closes the space, capturing her lips in another kiss. It’s searing, slowly setting her afire, and she wants it, wants him, wants everything he’s giving and everything he’s offering. He keeps it short, and she can feel herself get up on her tippy toes to get more, and damn him. Damn him, damn him, damn him. She bites her lower lip.

“So how about that date, huh, darlin’?” Sy husks out, and fuck, she can hear the smile in his voice.

“I can pick the place?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And I can pick the time?”

“Any time you want.”

She reaches out, puts a hand on his neck, drags her fingers along warm skin and pulls him down to whisper in his ear.

“Your place. Right now. And dinner… is on me.”

[sif-the-tsunami]

Another little drabble doodads. This time with Syverson. He's my second favorite and im so excited to play with him a little bit.

It was ungodly early, the sun hadn't quite risen and yet Syverson was up. Too many years of having to be up at zero dark thirty for PT. Lately though, the only sweat he actually enjoyed working up was working on his Jeep or playing with his dog. He and his now ex-girlfriend hadn't been working up any other kind for a few months now. Sy leaving the armed services was a difficult transition for everyone except his great big doofus of a dog, Molly. She loved having him home to herself. But when Sy got up before the sun, even she would groan comically and turn her back to him as she went back to sleep.

He pulled up to the little coffee shop down the street from his house. There was another man approaching the shop who gave him a polite head nod. One of his favorite girls was behind the counter, her personality was as bright as her bubblegum pink hair, that was styled today in such a way that suggested she was channeling her inner space princess. She waved at the retired Captain and took her spot with a cup and sharpie in hand to take the older man's order.

"Oh, your name is Julie?"

"Yes, it is" it was only written in shiny pink writing with holographic stars around it. Not that Sy used it as an excuse to check out her breasts or anything. Although, he liked that he had at least a foot on her in height. He had really great peripheral vision.

"When I was growing there was a song I used to listen to that had your name in it."

"Yeah, so I've heard."

"Do you know it? It goes..."

"Sir, you don't have to, I..." the grimace was forming on the woman's face. It was a train wreck. Sy was even feeling the secondhand embarrassment.

"Julie Julie Julie, do you love?"

"Please don't do that." Her cheeks burned as hot as her hair. Were her eyes tearing up? Fuck Sy, don't get involved.

Sy felt bad for the poor thing. If it was the other little girl, the one he's heard back talk to his pink haired friend, he wouldn't have intervened. Shit, he though.

"Hey man," he says as friendly as he could. "Who sings that song?"

"Oh, uh, Bobby Sherman." The man replied.

"Let's fucking keep it that way." Sy replied as deadpan as he could.

"Just trying to have a little fun with her. Lighten up, man."

"She's clearly not enjoying it, she asked you to stop more than once. Just let her do her job."

"Who stuck the stick up your ass?"

"Your mom while I railed her last night, now get out of here before I dislodge it and beat you to death with it." It was too damn early for this nonsense.

"She knows I'm just messing with her, right Julie?"

"Here is your coffee." She said her voice was strained.

"Oh... I guess I'll get out of here." He said, without an apology.

"Do you need a moment?" Sy asked her. She nodded. The other barista came out from the back and told her to take a quick break to compose herself.

She made herself a glass of water then went outside. Sy stopped by her as he made his way to his Jeep with his cold brew as big as his head. Julie was struggling with her shaking hands to light her cigarette.

"Here, let me help you with that." He said softly, taking the lighter from her. "These will kill you, but I'm sure you know that."

She took a long, lingering, drag from her cigarette exhaling through her nose. Wiping a tear from her face she said softly. I hate it when he does that. He knows it embarrasses me. I gave him decaf today for being a bag of dicks. Sy, thank you for trying to help, but I really don't want you to see me cry."

"Well, if you don't mind me just standing here with you, maybe we can just watch the sunrise together? I won't be looking at you, just at the mountains. How does that sound?"

Together they stood leaning on the front of her truck as in the golden tendrils of sunlight crept up from the east, splashing the mounts with a pink as brilliant as his companion. Deep purple shadows behind the mountain crests and ridges slowly shifted their color to that of the greens and browns of the day time.

"Its beautiful, there are so many things that suck about this little shit hole town. But getting to see it every day doesn't. This is probably my favorite part of working this shift." She said to him. The normal enthusiasm that she has in her voice was nowhere to be found. It was deeper, less Disney Princess like outside of the walls of the store. He liked it even more than her customer service voice. He wanted to listen to her tell him her secrets as they lay in the darkness.

"After you get off, do you want to go grab something to eat?" Julie looked up at Sy with a raised eyebrow. "What? I'm not trying to get in your pants, woman... Let's just go get waffles or something."

"I do love waffles."

"I may not know a lot of things, but I know a trauma survivor when I see one. You don't get flustered like that from just teasing."

They made their plans, and Julie went back inside. He wasn't going to pry into her past but maybe after some hashbrowns they could get to know each other better.

[hopeishappinessff]

Holding Onto Hope:  Chapter 2

Hope

I stayed stock still on my bed, doing everything that I could possibly think of to busy myself rather than focus any more than I already had in the stairwell on Benny or Taylor. Destani, being the little fast tail that she was, made it a point to put on quite the show for the boys while searching for her phone. The thing was right there in her purse, which was on the corner of her bed beside her, yet she searched frantically all over her half of the room for it as if she wasn’t already well aware of where it was.

“Damn, I can’t find this thing anywhere.” She said, halting her frantic search and standing beside her bed, directly beside her purse, running her hand over the top of her muddled curls. I rolled my eyes at her antics and decided that if these guys were going to leave as quickly as I wanted them to, I should probably point her in the obvious direction of her phone. Sliding off the edge of my bed, I eased forward to reach for her purse and pulled her phone out once I had it in my grasp, tossing it over to the center of her bed.

She turned to peer down at it as it landed with a soft thud on her bare mattress and with the cutest little giggle, she turned to face me “Thanks Sy… where was it?”

I glared at her for a moment, thinking to myself how well I was going to go off on her as soon as these guys left “It was in your purse Destani… right there on the corner of your bed.”

“Oh, I swear if you weren’t my bestfriend I would be so lost sometimes.” They’re about to leave Sy’Diyah… they’re about to leave and she’ll stop this nonsense as soon as they’re gone.

She handed her phone over to Taylor and smirked, resting her hand against her hip and biting down on her bottom lip with lust glimmering in her eyes. As I sat there observing her, I was starting to find it more and more difficult to not call her out on her phony act. I kept my arms crossed over my chest and one leg crossed naturally over the other, shaking it frenziedly from utter irritation. I could feel a pair of overly immersed eyes gazing in my direction and though I didn’t want to look up to find out exactly where this piercing glare was coming from, I couldn’t help myself and I slowly raised my gaze anyway.

There, over beside our wide-open door, stood Benny… staring right at me with a smirk tugging at his handsome lips. He gave me a knowing look, as if to say he understood exactly how I was feeling at this very moment. His friend was just as wrapped up in talking to Destani as she was with him and just watching the two of them laughing and giggling in each other’s faces must have been just as annoying for him as it was for me. We both diverted our attention to the two flirting culprits, locked gazes once again, then smiled at each other mutely conveying our displeasure.

“So, are you two roommates or what?” Destani inquired, sliding her phone back into her purse as Taylor slipped his back into his pocket.

“Nah, I got a roommate… some dude named Jonah. I don’t know what’s up with Benny, but his roommate is a no show so far.” Taylor explained, moving over toward Benny and the door.

“Yeah, our coach told me dude’s not showing until sometime later this week, so it’s just me right now.” Benny explained. I took very little interest in their small banter and I chose, instead, to busy myself with sliding my bags off my bed and onto the floor so that I could make the bed up.

“Well, um… I guess we’ll talk to you guys later then. Maybe ya’ll can show us around the campus, you know.” Destani said, smiling and combing a few strands of her hair behind her right ear.

“Yeah definitely. Aye, as a matter of fact if ya’ll ain’t doing nothing later on tonight, hit me up and we can at least take a quick glimpse at the campus.” Taylor suggested, licking his plump rosy lips to emphasize the smirk on his face.

Destani’s beam seemed to widen as she nodded her head in accord “Yeah… yeah, we can do that.”

At that point, I went ahead and tuned the two of them out completely just as I got my last bag off my bed and picked up the plastic carrier carrying my new comforter. I could feel someone’s presence just to the right of me and I quickly caught the light and airy aroma of Boss, an intoxicating cologne that I was used to smelling only when Chris was around. I swung my head around, excited just from the memory of his smell, only to be disheartened by the sight of Benny.

“Uh, you know… I was wondering, I’m not tryna come on too strong or anything, but do you… think we could exchange numbers as well?” He asked, raising his brows and biting down on the corner of his bottom lip hesitantly. I stared at him for a second, considering exactly how I could say no without hurting his feelings “Um, Benny… I don’t… I mean, I really wouldn’t mind, but… I kind of have a boyfriend.”

His head jerked back slightly in surprise and his lips shaped into a small ‘o’, because clearly he’d just been caught off guard by my response “Oh, I’m sorry… I had no idea. I ain’t mean to, you know…”

I smiled cordially and shook my head “It’s okay. I mean, I would exchange with you, but my boyfriend… he’s a little…” I tilted my head to one side thoughtfully, twisting my lips as I considered the appropriate term to describe Chris “…Overprotective.” “Yeah, I mean I understand that. I don’t even blame him for being that way with such a beautiful girl.”

I smiled and sighed… this guy was really working in the charm. With no intention of allowing him to stand there any longer, throwing so much of this alluring charisma at me, I slowly eased around him and made my way over toward the door, thanking him for his compliment as I went. He trailed along behind me to his and Taylor’s exit, chuckling and rubbing nervously at the back of his neck “You know, I hope I ain’t make you uncomfortable or anything. Like I said, I ain’t mean to come on too strong, really. I just, you know… ain’t know.”

“It’s okay, I mean how were you supposed to know that without me telling you?” I asked as I turned to face him with my hands crossed tight over my chest.

He stared at me with his bottom lip tucked into his mouth then chuckled and nodded “Yeah, I guess you right. But I still gotta apologize though… I really was in the wrong for that.”

I could hear both Destani and Taylor shuffling toward the door behind Benny and I, and I turned to face them and frowned deeply at the sight of her giggling in his face like an inexperienced school girl who had yet to be exposed to a joke.

“Well, like I said… hopefully we can meet up with the two of you later.” She spoke in a blustery tone, as if she were completely out of breath because of her simple laughter.

“I don’t know about my dude Ben here, but I know I’ll be looking forward to that. And, it’s… Sy’Diyah, right?” Taylor asked, stopping a few feet away from me with a flirtatious smirk on his face, openly dragging his eyes over the length of my body, “It was nice to meet you. We’ll see ya’ll later, aiight.” I stood just beside the door as they marched out and held onto the knob, preparing to slam the door shut and swing around with vengeance to reprimand Destani.

“Damn, these niggas at this fucking school are no got damn joke girl!” She exclaimed, propping her elbow up on my shoulder as if it were any old flat surface for her to rest on. I immediately shrugged her off me and closed the door, turning to glare at her through squinted and rage infested orbs.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She asked.

“We,” I stomped off past her, brushing roughly against her shoulder as I did so, “Need to talk.”

 Chris

I am tired. No, scratch that… I’m fucking exhausted right now and this nigga just won’t get the fucking hint and take a break. My roommate Trent and I have both been up, working our asses off since about six thirty this morning and I would expect the nigga to be just as worn out as I, but no… he wanna take his ass in the living room of our apartment style dorm to make the most noise he can with as many people that’s willing to make noise at this hour with him.

I been tossing and turning for the past twenty minutes and in all honestly, I’m ‘bout two and a half seconds from freaking the fuck out and setting off on a mission to break this lil fucking shindig up. Since I been here at Syracuse, I been taking more anger management courses for my supposed ‘over aggressive behavior on the court’ and my coach and the head of the athletic department have even threatened to prescribe me with a dose of lithium and bupropion, which are supposed to be mood stabilizers… specifically for people with bipolar disorder. I nearly lost my entire mind when my coach broke the news to me that he believed me to be bipolar and I was seconds away from living up to his opinion and going super saiyan on his ass when he gave me the choices of either taking the medicine, going to the classes, or riding the bench for the first three games if I didn’t want to cooperate. Of course I went with the classes, but not without a light argument first.

With a loud and exasperated huff, I turned my boxer clad body over onto my back, sighing and briefly enjoying the cool sensation of my sheets against my bare back. Everything about this bed was incredibly comfortable, from the sheets to the memory foam that formed the actual mattress itself… it was a bed fit for a king, which was apparently what the coaches believed we all deserved as some of not only the best college basketball players on the East coast, but in the Nation as well. Here, at Syracuse, the athletes were treated with the upmost respect and just about everyone on the fucking campus catered to all of us, including the school itself. For example, if I decided I wanted take a trip back home to Virginia to see my son for a weekend, it was the school’s job to supply the first class plane ticket along with a designated individual on the other end to pick my ass up. Now, I would be damned if I chose to take a three-game seater rather than taking anger management classes and hitting the court to play my ass off… the entire campus catered to each of us, how much better could this shit get?

Though I would have loved to enjoy every inch of my memory foam in a drunken slumber of sleep, I couldn’t seem to do that successfully with my bitch ass roommate being such a fucking obnoxious ass in the other room. I shut my eyes for a moment and used the count to twenty method that my therapist created just for me, seeing as counting as far as ten did absolutely nothing for my irritation. After I reached about thirty-one and realized I was more pissed off than before I started the count, I sat up and slid my body over to the edge of my bed. Standing up at my full six-foot two stature, I sighed and walked around my bed toward the door and glanced back at the bright neon green 2:03 glaring at me from the alarm clock on my nightstand. ‘This nigga cannot be fucking serious,’ I thought to myself, ‘two in the got damn morning, drill at six-thirty sharp, and he still in here fucking around.’

I wasted no time snatching the bedroom door open, forming my eyes into deadly slits as I scoped the room for Trent and the other culprits responsible for keeping me from that beautiful thing called sleep that I desperately craved. Spotting the nigga sprawled out on the couch across from the TV with one bitch straddling his lap, one sitting up on the arm of the couch, two niggas over at the four-person dining table playing cards, and two bitches with them… I scoffed and took a step out into the room.

“Chriiiiiiiissss… my nigggggaaaaaa. What’s good bro? Why you ain’t in here catching up on some fun?” He asked and from the way he annoyingly slurred my name, I could tell the nigga was pretty fucked up.

“Come in here nigga… come, I got you one. I called her for you. Come get her, ‘cause she a fiesty lil thing.” He muttered in a jumbled mess that sounded like pure shit to my ears. I glanced over at the girl sitting up on the arm of the couch beside him and didn’t even bother to smile at her as she smirked and looked me up and down… my mind was set that everyone in this room was my enemy at this point and I would only give them about one minute to get the fuck out.

“Nah Trent, man we got drills at six-thirty on the dot. I think it’s time for your company to go.” I spoke, surprisingly, calm and though I could feel anger boiling in the pit of my stomach, I was quite taken aback by just how chill I managed to keep myself.

“Chriiiiiiissssss, no, no, nooooo dude. The bitches, the pussy… it’s for you. For us. The school year is about to start and we ain’t had no fun yet. Come get your fun nigga… she sitting right here.” He continued to slur as he reached back and grabbed a hold of the girl’s thigh, causing her to giggle and lick her lips at me, and me to roll my eyes and sigh.

“Trent, please man… I don’t wanna say this shit again. Let your company go and we can celebrate another night.” Hell nah I wasn’t planning on celebrating shit any other night with this nigga, but if that’s what it took to get him to abide by what I was asking, then hell… let the lie ooze from my lips like water. He only laughed in my face though… he laughed and reached for the bottle of bud light sitting on the edge of the coffee table. The bottle of bud light… with a sigh, I calmly walked over to the small kitchen on the opposite side of the living room and just as I suspected, there were two boxes of bud light chilling on one of the counters. I glanced through the opening behind the sink into the living room and after noticing everyone minding their own business, paying no attention to little ole me, I grabbed one of the entire cases of booze and marched back out into the living room.

Without so much as a warning, I stopped in the middle of the room, took one last look around then lifted the box high with one hand and slammed it smack dab onto the hardwood floor. The glass bottles shattered all over the floor beneath my Nike socked feet and the intoxicating beverage from each glass bottle splattered onto the floor, but I really ain’t give two shits. The clatter instantly got Trent and his two broads to shut up and look up at me and the niggas and bitches at the table beside me did the same.

“Now, Imma say this shit one more fucking time… you two,” I spoke menacingly low as I pointed at the girls on the couch with Trent, “And all of you,” I said, again pointing back at the table’s occupants, “Really need to get the fuck out and you need to do it now. I don’t know why you ain’t listen when I said it politely five minutes ago when I walked out here, but I’m really not playing no more… leave.”

With that, I peered around the room to make sure these stupid asses weren’t simply staring at me like I was joking. They weren’t and for that, I was thankful… I was really not in the mood to be whooping some hard-headed niggas asses tonight nor did I feel like wasting my energy cussing some bitches out. I continued to stand there, watching them quietly file out the designated exit and once they were out the door, I slammed it shut and turned to Trent who was already staring at me cautiously “Make sure you clean this shit up before you hit the sack, aiight… bro.”

I gave him no time to respond… I’d already stepped right over the mess on the floor and I was well on my way back to my room. I shut the door behind myself, reached down to pull my socks off, and sighed… I was surprised to find that I even had the energy to put on such a show, but I did and now I was even more tired than I was when I initially climbed out my luxurious bed.

I stopped just beside my bed with my back facing it and fell, with an exaggerated plop, on the soft body suctioning mattress. I licked my lips and stuck my tongue out, toying with the piercing I’d gotten redone at the beginning of the summer as I stared at the blank white and depressing wall across from me. I wanted to put up some sort of artwork to liven it up a bit, but I didn’t plan on staying in this dorm with ole fuck boy much longer so I didn’t even see a reason to bother.

Just as I dropped my eyes down to a squint and finally shut them, only about half a second away from sleep, my phone vibrated wildly against the nightstand beside the bed. I slowly parted my lids and stared straight ahead for a moment then with a grunt, I reached over for the obnoxious device, not even bothering to look down at the caller id before swiping my thumb across the screen.

“Yo.” I greeted with a yawn.

“Aww, somebody is tired huh? I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” Her sweet, addictive voice filled my ear and sent the most sudden jolt of excitement shooting from my head to my toes, pausing expectantly in the center of my boxers.

“Baby! Nah, I was up… what you still doing up though?” I asked, yawning once more, only this time I held it in as best as I could just so she wouldn’t hear it and fuss about me not getting any sleep. I would stay up until six thirty on the dot on this phone with her if she asked me to.

She giggled and I bit down on my bottom lip, absolutely adoring the cute sound of her perfect laugh “We just finished putting most of our stuff away… I haven’t even looked at a clock yet. What time is it?”

“Hmm,” I glanced over at the alarm clock resting on the nightstand and contemplated whether I should even tell her… I already knew what she would say if I did confess the actual time, “It’s not too late.”

While I was busy looking over at my alarm clock, I guess she decided to find out the time on her own and I shut my eyes and prepared for her rant when I heard her gasp “Oh my gosh, it’s almost three o’clock in the morning! I’m so sorry… you need to go to sleep. You said your drills are always early on weekdays… you shouldn’t be up now.”

“Nah baby, I’m fine. If I was tired, I woulda been sleep by now,” I half lied, knowing I didn’t give a real fuck what the hour was… if I got to talk to this gorgeous little lady, I’d be up with no complaints, “And if you dare hang up on me thinking you gone get me to go to sleep, I’m only gonna call you back ‘til you answer.”

She went silent for a second and I hoped that she really hadn’t hung up the damn phone on me “Okay, but I don’t want to be the reason you’re tired in the middle of your drills.” She nearly whispered in her infamous ‘girlfriend’ tone. I chuckled to myself as I thought about that… she had a knack for purposely doing certain shit that she claimed good girlfriends did to care for their man and whenever she dropped her voice to that particular octave, I knew that mode was kicking in.

“Trust me love, you won’t be… I’m fine. Now stop worrying about me and tell me how your day was.”

She released an exasperated sigh and I could only imagine the expression on her face… I just knew she was biting down on her bottom lip, thinking over exactly what she wanted to say before she said it “Well, it started out okay. My dad helped Dez and I get situated in my room then he left. We… met some new people here in the dorm and they were really nice.”

The uncertainty in her tone instantly worried me and I furrowed my brows as I pushed myself up onto my elbows and licked my steadily drying lips “What kinda people?”

“Just some people Chris. They offered to show us around the campus later and they were just really… friendly.”

I already knew that by ‘people’ she meant niggas and of course she wasn’t about to come right out and say that shit, so I went ahead and took it upon myself to assume that that’s who she was speaking of “Well maybe you should tell these nig… people, that you can figure out where everything is on campus just fine and that you don’t need no damn help.”

“Chris, stop it. This campus is huge and we’re gonna need someone to show us around a little. I don’t want to be late on my first day of classes because I was being picky all because you don’t want me talking to certain people.” She was making every bit of sense, but I truly didn’t care… with me being all the way on the east coast and her being so far away, I had to stay on my p’s and q’s with who she associated with. Not saying that she would do anything to put our relationship in jeopardy, but still… I mean, I’m sure she was probably thinking the same way with me.

“We already talked about this shit Sy’Diyah… no introductions because that only starts shit that don’t need to be started and apparently, you already been well introduced to some ‘person’ that you probably shouldn’t have for you to be sounding so giddy about this lil campus tour.”

“I’m not sounding giddy about anything. I just…” She paused and released a sigh and I could hear her shifting around before bringing the phone back to her ear, “I knew that if I just came right out and told you who really offered to show us around, you’d freak out and I don’t feel like hearing that.”

“Well I wouldn’t have to fucking freak out if you would just make this shit easy by at least thinking about the rules we made before you start doing shit like that.” I knew the tone of my voice along with my choice of words was harsh, but I couldn’t help it… she just brought that outta me.

“Stop cursing at me Chris. All I wanna do is talk to you and if you keep talking like that, I’m gonna hang up.” She muttered. Immediately falling into hush mode, I thought over what she said and realized she was right… like I said before, with the distance between us playing such a major role in this, I’d do anything to stay on the phone with her as long as I could and I couldn’t have her hanging up on me.

“I’m sorry, but baby please listen to me okay… don’t break the rules. I’m not there and you ain’t here and I know I’m not about to think twice about even glancing at another female, but I just wanna make sure them niggas around there don’t tempt you all because I’m not there.”

“No one is tempting me Charlie, don’t worry about that. Destani was the one overcome with temptation and I actually just finished talking to her about that.”

I could hear a feminine voice speaking loudly in the background and by the ghetto twang written all over it, I already knew it was Destani with her loud ass. Hope laughed at whatever she was saying and I couldn’t help but smile as I listened to her heartfelt giggle… the shit was just too damn cute.

“Destani said hi and she…” Her words became muffled suddenly and I furrowed my brows as I listened intently to figure out what was going on.

“Look nigga, she ain’t tempted with nothing aiight. I got her in check down here and I’m not about to let her fuck up. I got you Breezy… trust me.”

I pushed myself into an upright position at the edge of the bed and laughed at Destani’s method of reassurance “Imma trust you Dez, but don’t let me find out you got my girl down there fucking with them Georgia niggas… you know I’ll come down there and fuck that whole state up.”

She smacked her lips and I smirked, bracing myself for her oncoming slew of harsh words “Look light bright ass nigga, if you sitting up there tryna lowkey call my ass a hoe ‘cause you think I’m ‘bout to have these niggas turn your girl out, you can really kiss my high yellow ass. Ain’t nobody ‘bout to have Sy doing shit, but keeping her damn head in these books, but I can tell you this much… keep fucking with me with your smart-ass mouth, see how quick I purposely introduce her to one of these fine young southern men.”

“Aiight Destani, damn… I was just playing. I wasn’t even tryna call you no damn hoe in the first place,” I mumbled, chuckling softly to myself, “Put my baby back on the phone.”

I could clearly hear her still cursing my name while handing the phone over to Hope and I could only shake my head at her… the girl was truly a character.

“Geez, she is such a handful,” Hope said once she had her phone back in her possession, “But listen Charlie… I feel really bad having you on the phone for so long. You really need to get some rest and I’m not making it any better by keeping you up. Go to sleep now and call me back as soon as you get some spare time tomorrow.” She definitely didn’t need to tell me twice… hell, I’d call her in the middle of practice if she wanted me to.

“Aiight babe, I still don’t understand why you keep tryna rush me off the phone though. You know this is your second time doing that to me.” I said in a hushed tone, knowing it would get to her.

“Aww, Charlie Brown… I’m not trying to rush you off the phone, I just really don’t want you to be tired at practice.” She said and I smiled… I knew I got her with that one and if I calculated right, I’d just bought myself about fifteen more minutes to talk to her.

“I told you I’m not tired though, so the way I see it… you are rushing me off the phone, but that’s fine though. I’ll just go now.” I held my breath and went completely silent, waiting to see how she would react.

“Charlie… Chris? I know you’re still there. Chris… this isn’t funny.” I burst into a hearty bustle of laughter at her expense… I knew it wasn’t funny to trick her like that, but knowing that she was just that gullible to my humor, I couldn’t even help it.

“You’re not funny Charlie… don’t hang up on me.” She pouted.

“I’m not gonna hang up babe, I was just joking.” I said as my laughter died down.

“Well you joke too much. I was calling to ask you how your day was, but you won’t even give me a chance to ask.”

Turning my body with my back facing the headboard, I plopped back against the two soft down pillows that I had stacked there “I’m sorry baby mama. Go ahead… ask me how my day was.”

“Thank you… how was your day, Charlie?” I heard the grin in her voice and I could only smile widely as I thought over the events of the day.

“My day was good baby, thanks for asking.” She giggled softly and I found myself surrendering to the urge to sink my teeth into my bottom lip and slide my hand over my sore abdomen, edging closer and closer to the brim of my boxers.

“Well that’s good. How was your practice?” She asked. Rolling my eyes up toward the ceiling, I sighed… in all honesty, I really didn’t even wanna discuss the hell of a day I’d had, but she asked so I suppose I had to spill.

“The shit was seven hours too long and exhausting. My body feels like a ton of bricks that I can barely move right now.” I confessed.

“Aww, I’m sorry. I wish I was there to at least give you a massage or something.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and slowly rolled over onto my stomach, mushing my face down into my pillow with a low groan… I swear, if she didn’t stop I would so hop my ass on the next fucking flight to Georgia.

“Baby, come on… that’s not helping me at all right now.” I spoke into my pillow, barely loud enough for her to hear.

“I’m sorry… I was just saying,” She laughed, “But I really wish your coach would stop pushing you guys so hard. You’re only human and you can only handle so much.”

Another reason why I loved this girl more than the air that I breathed… what female do you know that could make her man feel this good with such a simple statement, even from such a distance?

“And I wish somebody could tell my fucking roommate that, ‘cause I swear this nigga just don’t know when to give up.”

“What did he do?” She asked, her voice low and full of concern.

“He apparently don’t understand the concept of going to practice, coming back to the room to eat and shower, then taking his ass to bed like a normal, tired citizen. Somewhere in there, this bitch just insists on getting stupid drunk and partying ‘til he can’t even wake up in the morning.”

“Was he doing all this in there while you were trying to get some rest? Is that why you’re so upset? Don’t let him get you angry Chris… just talk to your coach.”

“I ain’t really get upset about it. I’m not tryna lose my cool with this nigga and get my ass benched fucking around with coach. I plan to talk to him in the morning about this though and if something’s not done, I’m popping the fuck off and I’m choking this bitch nigga.”

She sighed and I could tell my language and the tone of my voice wasn’t doing much to convince her that I didn’t really get upset. After I’d told her that my coach had me seeing a therapist for my temper, she couldn’t have been more excited and she’d been supporting me every step of the way since. Whenever I do tend to get a bit irritated, to the point that I know I’m gonna lose control, I make sure to call her and she calms me down every time. I don’t know and never could figure out what it was, but it was just something about her… her presence, her face, even just her voice that kept me calm, cool, and collected.

“From the way you’re talking, it sounds to me like you got a little more than upset. We talked about this before Chris… you need to learn how to control yourself, because obviously I can’t always be there. If something or someone is bothering you, the first measure that you take to solve the problem can’t always be harming them to make yourself feel better. You’re supposed to use some of the methods that the therapist taught you to restrain yourself.”

“I know babe and I tried one of the methods tonight with this nigga and it barely worked. Besides, I was tired then and you know if you tired and somebody is keeping you from your sleep, you would probably bitch them out too.” I was listening to her, no doubt, but I still believed I had every reason to react the way I did with that nigga. He was disrespectful, period.

“No, I would politely tell them that I’m tired and it would be nice if they would keep their volume down so I can get some rest.”

I kept quiet as I took in every word she said and replayed it all over in my mind. Everything she’d said was right and eventually, I knew that I’d have to learn how to push past my anger and figure out other methods to solve whatever issues that caused me to be angry in the first place. God, I hated when she did this to me… she had such a knack for backing me into corners with her beautiful words of wisdom, leaving me utterly speechless and left to dwell on the petty actions I’d initially taken to solve my problems. Sometimes I honestly believed the girl was much wiser than her years.

“Well, you’re getting quiet on me now so I guess that means you’re tired of talking. I’m gonna let you go and get your rest now, okay.”

I frowned and closed my eyes, already feeling the effects of having listened to her soothing voice, which calmed me considerably “Okay.”

“I love you and I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She nearly whispered in that sweet, angelic voice of hers.

“I love you too.”

“Goodnight and sleep tight.”

“I will,” My eyes snatched open suddenly and I cleared my throat to get her attention before she hung up, “Baby, wait.”

“Hmm?” She purred.

“No more introductions… and no friendly little campus tours tomorrow or any other day, right?”

She giggled for the last time and I shut my eyes briefly and smiled, seriously willing myself not to moan right in her ear at the sound “Yes Chris, no more introductions… and no friendly campus tours, ever.”

“Good. Now goodnight… and I hope you have sweet, wet dreams about me tonight.”

She gasped and I snickered… I just had to get her one more time before I let her go “Goodnight Charlie… I swear you’re such a perv.” After blowing her a kiss over the line, we both hung up and I placed my phone back on its charger on the nightstand then rolled over onto my back, finally ready to doze off into a deep slumber… with Hope’s sugary sweet voice still on my brain like a lullaby pushing me off to sleep.

[rutisup-blog]

Mendocino Magic - Day 2

I wake up at some point in the morning…Is it 9 AM? It doesn’t really matter. There’s people up and at it in the camp-site, and I’m just laying naked in my cozy blue sleeping bag–feeling lazy. Jonny is up, and I can hear that people are cooking something or another–awesome. I could just lay here a little longer…

Eventually I have to get up. I slip out of my nest and put on my outer-space t-shirt and my blue Billabong trunks. Everyone is getting ready to go down to the reservoir and do some floating. I’m pondering if I should drop some acid. Nicole, Chris, and Dimitri are going to do it. I mull it over in my mind…If I can get some more people to do it I can.

Jonny wants help making the punch, so I oblige him. We don’t have a can opener to open the cans of pineapple, so he just takes a knife and stabs the cans, dragging the knife through the lid–that’s one way to do it. The pineapples are really chunky–it’s basically all pulp–so we have to spoon them into the small opening in the container.

This container is a clear 2 gallon container, pretty much twice as large as a ‘gallon of milk’. The opening isn’t much bigger either. This is a slow process–sloppy pulp is getting everywhere. I roll up a pink paper plate and shove it in the opening, using it as a make-shift funnel. I have someone ‘stuff my pink taco’ full of the pulp, and we get it all in there. It keeps getting jammed up with pulp and overflowing. I discover I need to grasp the shaft of the funnel and violently shake it up and down to force all the gunk through that pink hole–the sexual innuendo of it all is making me laugh, taking my mind off how gross this is. Then we dump in two handles of Captain Morgan’s and look at this revolting drink. It just looks gross. We still need to put coconut juice in there, but at that point someone else starts helping and I slip away and leave them to deal with that shit.

It was like how I imagine it would be working at a sausage factory. You wouldn’t want to eat it if you saw how it was made. Pretty much the same deal when we make jungle juice at our halloween parties.

I have some liquid acid left still, and I had planted to seed with some people yesterday. I ask who wants some, and get some ok maybes from Rachel and Liv. Chris(sy) is down, and Nick is a maybe. I make a breakfast sandwich out of cheese, bread, and some bacon Jonny cooked up. Fuck, is it ever nice to camp with people that love to be organized. I find the marshmellows, placing the bag of them on that burgundy colored bench I’m sitting on. The fire from last night is still kind of warm, although long extinguished. I pull out four marshmellows and put them on the bench, and then bust out the liquid acid.  I put a drop on each one of the marshmellows and hand them out, but the girls want to wait. Chris(sy) and I cheers the marshmellows and chow down. They’re sweet AF.

“I’ll set a timer” says Chris(sy), already tapping away at his digital watch. The race against the clock has begun. I want to hustle to get down there. I start getting all of the shit I need together in my CamelBak, also trying to encourage the girls to take the acid. They’re wishy-washy, better let them make their own decision.

The pond beside our campsite, rich with lily pads

I slackline a bit and then 35 minutes in I am feeling a little tingly–ah here we go. The sense of urgency to get moving kicks in, and we rally the troops. We all starting walking down to the reservoir as a huge crew, someone pulling a cart of stuff. I’ve just got my tripper kit with me…My CamelBak with some beef jerky in it, a sweater, pants, sunglasses. What else does a man need? I start walking down, and then there’s this huge ass hill to get up to the reservoir–aaahhh shit.

I lend my muscles to help, and I grab onto the cooler and team carry it up with Dimitri. Fuck, it’s a total bitch to do, but we make some fun of it. We trade sides a few times. We zig zag up this damn hill with it, taking a few breaks. We finally get up that bitch, and then Nick comes in and wants to help. He subs out Dimitri, and then we set up a kind of makeshift camp by Cannonball Camp, where there are some other people camping.

It’s less than ideal, so I talk to the boys.

“I’m going on a recon mission, whose with me?” “I’m Down.” says Nick “Yeah dude. Let’s do it” Chimes in Dimitri.

So the three of us start walking around the lake. We’re doing a recon team schtick, using radio call-signs and all. Nick is Golden Eagle, I’m Red Beaver, and Dimitri is White Russian. We find site ‘Alpha’…not great. Then next we discover ‘Site W’ on account of all the woods…Super steep, but we check it out anyways. At any rate, we’re having a fucking blast. White Russian is on two tabs, I’m on one drop, and Nick is just a little buzzed off of a PBR Tall Boy. We’ve all got a frosty PBR in our hands, and we’re using it to gauge the time. We don’t want to run out during our loop. We find a desirable site near the end of our route, and then we return to base-camp to say where we are moving. The whole convoy picks up and starts to move, but I decide to put some stuff in a cargo tube and float it over–Ojibwe Express style. I kick for probably 25 minutes to transport it, Nickel and C-dog coming with me.

C-dog does the backwards octopus to propel himself, I just kick underwater, and Nickel like jumps up on her tube and kicks wildly with her legs, splashing water everywhere. We all have our own method. We’re taking our time, moving ever-slowly across the reservoir. In the time it took us to get over there, we find out that the group has been invited over to this sweet rock even further across the bay, so we have to move again. I’ve got this Simpsons jelly donut floatie that I’m trying to inflate with my lungs. Every time I feel like I’m getting a good rhythm going some flies land on my shoulder and I have to swat them off. I get frustrated and give up, just walking over to the rock area. I find Liv and Rachel hanging out on a rock just overlooking the water. Liv has a purple flower in her hair, and it looks beautiful. The girls get me a purple flower and we put it in my beard.

It really is a beautiful moment. It’s me, Liv, and Rachel, and I think Chris(sy) as well has joined up later after transporting the cooler. We wave hello to the people that invited us, and they come to talk to us. It’s this petite little Quebecois girl wearing a Batman bikini, and her fairly athletic hippie boyfriend. They live on some land adjacent to this, doing ‘agriculture’, and living in a Yurt type thing that looks like a garlic clove. I mean, clearly they’re growing weed.

Jonny looks like a king, laughing in a huge lazy-boy floatie down there in the reservoir, cup of rum punch in his hand. He’s literally got the floaty for the cooler tied to his floaty–he is the bar. There’s a flotilla of about 10 people in tubes all tied together, and Jonny is trying to get a drink out of that collapsible container full of punch. It looks as disgusting as before, and after seeing him try to handle that flexible container, I can’t help but notice that it looks like a stomach full of bile. He’s loving that stomach juice. Everyone’s having a great time down there.

We chat with the strangers about their fairy tale lives for a bit more, a bunch of working stiffs on their long weekend turnin’ up for the weekend trying to relate to these free spirits. They tell us the realities of their situation, their extremely blue eyes just mesmerizing us.

“It’s cool, but if the wind picks up, we usually stay in town. It’s no joke, if a tree falls over, you’re done” Says the dude, his crystal gemstone sitting low on his chest, suspended around his neck with a hemp string. “Ah…” We say collectively. It’s a little too surreal a moment for us–you know with all the acid, their unconventional lives and the too blue to handle eyes. “Well, we’re headed out, it was great to meet you guys”.

We watch the two free spirits leave, that little Quebecois mouse shrinking off into the distance with her yellow and black batman bikini. So long, gov’na. “Were those people even real? They were too perfect to be real” remarks someone.

Five minutes later this strange Filipino chick rolls up and passive-aggressively tells us–with emphasis on the aggressive–“This is our private campsite, and we were promised it would be our own little private area”

Ah shit. “Oh…we didn’t know. Someone invited us over here”. “OK well this is our campsite and we were promised it would be private” she’s saying. “Ok yeah, well we will move”.

I wonder if those free spirits were even real…this surly chick sure as fuck didn’t think so. It’s kind of awkward, not the shit you wanna deal with while tripping. But no worries, we got a bunch of homies in the water. I take my time and get my shit, and then we walk back over to the new old site, the shady one. I try for like 20 minutes to blow up this inflatable jelly donut, but fail. All these bugs keep landing on my shoulder once again, and then I am with Alison and Brittany who are doing girl talk and I just can’t take it anymore. The tube is only a 1/4 inflated, but I run into the water and try to fill the tube up while swimming. I look ridiculous.

I come in hot like a sea otter, swimming into the middle of the flotilla. I try to grab a glass of punch from Jonny, but he protests a bit. “I don’t have any more cups” he says. “What about this empty one you have right here?” I say, pointing at a clean glass sitting pretty in a cupholder beside the cooler

“That’s for the ice”. “Seriously?” “OK, blow up that floaty and I’ll give you a punch”.

So I try in vain for a while, it’s just hard when you’re swimming. There’s a vacant premium floaty, looking all firm and buoyant. It belong to C-dog, but he seems to have abandoned it for the moment. I hijack his floaty and use it as a base to try and blow it up my floaty. I float over to Jonny, and that pedigree chum was true to his word.

“Stomach juice me” I say. King Jonny takes that coveted chalice out of the cup holder, and throw a little ice in. “You’ve gotta pour it yourself, but here you go, handing me the stomach. “It’s too pulpy to use the valve, you’ve got to take the cap off.

So there I am balancing on a tube with a 2 gallon collapsible plastic stomach of juice between both arms, and the cup held between both of my feet like a vise. I’m doing some sort of yoga pose here trying to get a drink. It’s a precarious move, and I’m able to pour/squeeze the juice out into the cup. All of my efforts pay off, this stomach juice is delicious.

I get a few sips of that sweet nectar, but then C-dog comes back to reclaim his tube and threatens to flip me if I don’t get out.

“I know you can’t flip me, I’ve got the stomach juice hostage!” I chortle. Jonny shoots me a concerned look and says “He’s right”.

Chris is there treading water beside the tube, and I still haven’t even managed to blow up my jelly donut tube. I’m laughing uncontrollably. Chris is getting frustrated.

“Dude, don’t mess with me, I’m like a sea otter. I’m gonna flip your ass”. “Just lemme blow it up and you can have you tube back”.

I can’t stop laughing, which is kind of a blocker when you’re trying to blow up a fucking tube with your lungs. I’m not making much headway on the floaty and C-dog is getting all frustrated.

“At least hand the punch over so someone else can drink it as well”. It seems a reasonable request, I’ve been having fun at this now for about 10 minutes. So I hand the hostage stomach and my cup of juice over to someone so they can drink it, and I promptly get flipped. I deserved that.

Treading water again, and the tube isn’t getting inflated quickly at all. I eventually have Steve help me blow it up, and he does it in like three breaths. Incredible. “I give a lot of blowjobs” he says gayly and laughs. This guy is awesome.

So there I am, floating around and tied into the flotilla with my jelly donut floaty. We keep drifting into the reeds, and people need to kick. This eventually gets a little tiring, and it’s just me Steve and Chris(sy) doing the work. We start to run out of booze and get bored of this, so I untie from the flotilla, tired of pulling ten people. The girls say ok whatever, we don’t need you boys anyways. They promptly float into the reeds across the reservoir. We all laugh at them a bit. I kick back to shore and hang out a bit. The girls eventually come back, and we walk with them.

I walk with Rachel, and I take off my Birks. Nothing better than walking barefoot while tripping. I do feel some pain when I’m walking on the rocks, but my feet are kind of hobo feet at this point anyways. I try to convince Rachel to de-shoe as well, but no dice. We walk down and then we see King Jonny yelling directions at us.

“DEFLATE THE FLOATIES, PUT THEM IN THE TRUCK. DEFLATE THE FLOATIES, PUT THEM IN THE TRUCK. DEFLATE THE FLOATIES, PUT THEM IN THE TRUCK” he keeps repeating, pointing his arms in a windmill motion towards the F-350 parked at the base of the path. He looks like he’s directing traffic–ok let’s be real, he is.

This is working like a well oiled machine–I’m impressed he has the wherewithal do this after all that stomach juice. I’ve ended up carrying the big yellow floatie Jonny was on. After we all deflate those shits and pack them in, we finally make it back to the camp–hooray.

I hit the slackline, and I’m fucking killing it. I jump in my hammock and just lay there, looking up into the branches. It’s beautiful. I sway back and forth a bit. I eat some jerky and the flavor is just so intense–wow. I hop out in search of some strawberries–they’re the best when you trip. I end up grabbing another beer and I’m just drinking and making that transition from trippin’ to drunk. It’s like 3:30 PM. The sun is out and it’s beautiful so I say “Hey I’m gonna go lay in the sun up on the path”. “We could grill up there” says Jonny.

I helped Jonny move the charcoal grill over and I throw my sarong down on the ground and grab some sun while Jonny gets the grill going–we’re starving. We set the beer pong table up, and slowly people start to come up and hang out. Jonny and I play Dimitri and Brittany, and it’s a decent game.

I’m making the joke about the punch looking like stomach juice, and it seems to catch on. We name the stomach ‘Joe’ and it’s now Joe’s Juice or Joe’s Stomach Juice. That shit is fucking GOOD. I can’t stop sipping it. It’s become a good luck talisman now, as I squeeze the sides of it to release a fresh tropical breeze of pineapple aroma before each shot for luck–my version of blowing on your dice.

It was a shame when you had to switch from the stomach juice to some of that Colorado piss water whenever they sunk a ball. We continue playing, and beat out Nickel and C-dog as well. It was close, but we got them. I’m kind of faded at this point, and we get off the table. Chrissy, Rachel, Nick and Olivia are set up on another blanket beside the Sarong, just laying out now. I come and join them, getting some sun.

I’m staring directly up, and there’s a beautiful set of branches just full of young maple leaves above me. Beside us is a manzanita tree. Two pretty different trees, existing together. I love maple trees, but maybe it’s because I’m Canadian. Everyone is looking at these lizards camouflaged in the tree. It’s trippy as fuck, It takes me a while to find them. You need to wait for them to move, and they do a quick move and then freeze. Wow, pretty cool. I’m laying next to Liv starting up at a canopy of maple leaves and talking about keeping a journal and life in general. I’m saying how I’m going to journal this…That it’ll be a 15 pager (way more than that right now).

Posted up like a mailbox on the trail

Rachel is wearing like all black and has this hat on, and we get her to tuck her pony tail through the back. She looks like a lunch-lady. We’ve got a hat heavy crew, and I like it. I read the back of her hat, and I have to do a double-take. It says ‘J. Galt’ and then an address.

“Hey, who’s John Galt?” “What” “Like, who’s John Galt? Why is the sky blue” I say trying to make an obvious reference.

No one really gets it.

“Is that an Atlas Shrugged reference?” Says Chris. “Yeah dude, that hat says, J. Galt. That’s definitely an Atlas Shrugged reference” I say excitedly.

No one else understands or has read the book, but I nevertheless think it’s mad cool that someone has made John Galt branded clothing. C-dog and I proceed to get into a philosophical debate about Atlas Shrugged. “It’s anti-capitalist” says C-dog “No man, it IS capitalism, it’s fighting communism” I retort.

We don’t have much more to say of it, but then 10 minutes later C-dog says “I think you might be right man, I’m thinking about it more, and I think I had it wrong. The book is capitalist”. What a strange turn of events that was, although only C-dog and I could enjoy it.

Jonny is sitting in a little ultralight camping chair beside the grill, and a lot of smoke is starting to come out of it. He’s staring intently at the grill through his sunglasses, but he hasn’t really moved much. He’s sweating profusely–really soaking up the sun. “Is his leg hair burning?” someone chimes in. His left leg is close to the grill, and some of his leg hair has definitely singed off. I cock my head to the side and see that he is actually asleep behind the sunglasses. This motherfucker passed out in the middle of the party, but no one even noticed. He’s supposed to be watching the chicken. Suddenly the smoke coming out of the grill is much more alarming than before.

“Jonny?” I say. He’s dead to the world. I start laughing “Guys check it out, I think Jonny passed out”. We all start checking it out and he’s still asleep. Someone opens up the grill to check on the chicken and it’s all getting pretty burnt. Rachel moves the grill away from him and she takes over and starts cooking. She really looks like a lunch lady now with the baseball cap on, leaning over the smoky grill.

Quickly this turns into something hilarious, everyone camping with us wants to check it out. I figure he will wake up at any moment now, but this mother fucker is still KO’ed! So we do what anyone else would do. We pose and do a group picture with him sleeping at the front! We keep it a secret, he still doesn’t know we have this absolutely hilarious ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ inspired pic with him.

We cook the chicken and eat a little bit, and then like ten minutes later we see Jonny wakes up, but he plays it cool. He just snaps into it and a few seconds later starts bobbing his head to the beat, feeling like no one even noticed his little nap. We let him keep thinking that.

“Whatup Jonny” “Just chillin” “Yeeeeahh have some more of that stomach juice” I say.

So he’s drinking a little more and looking fine, but still waking up a bit from his stupor. A few minutes later he has a bit of a start and says “Where’s the fuckin chicken?” in a panic. We’ve completely removed the grill and served the chicken at this point. Everyone starts laughing and we’re like “Ohhhh Busted!” We tell him how we found him looking like Bernie passed out infront of the burning chicken and just let him be.

Chef Jonny serving up some Zzzz’s

Jonny has another drink, and he’s right back in the saddle. Something flipped with him after that. It’s like he turned into an old British street merchant. “We’ve got the coals, let’s cook all the meat he says”. Suddenly, we’ve got 15 hot dogs on the grill, hamburgers, basically anything he could get on that little 6″ by 12″ charcoal grill.

“Wanna hot dog? This one’s perfect” he says in his Sheffield British accent, pushing a nearly burnt to a crisp dog onto someone. He’s quite the salesman. “Hotdogs? Hotdog? He says, that British accent really sending it home. This guy wasn’t going to waste any food.

There’s some more beer pong, and ultimately most of the meat Jonny cooks ends up in a big metal bowl, aptly referred to as “the bucket of meat”. I give him some grief about cooking all the meat when it’s only 5:00 PM. “You won’t be complaining tonight when you’re drunk and there’s all this meat” he says. He’s probably right.

Some of the girls float the idea of going to catch the sunset up at the reservoir. I’m feeling so lazy, but it just sounds like too good an idea to pass up. Slowly, slowly, people get their shit together–pole pole. The sun is still fairly high, but in about an hour it will probably dip behind those Mendocino mountains. We start to rally.

The whole crew gets it together, and we set off as the sun starts to get a little low. We bring two full bottles of Jamieson with us, passing those two bottles around amongst the group of 15, taking straight pulls. I’m feeling impressed, proud even. It’s not every day you get to go camping with this many people and have everyone down to drink straight Jamieson out of the bottle.

We start to walk up the windy path up the hill to the reservoir, passing that abandoned pumping station. There’s this beautiful Madrone tree on the way up there. There’s a steep AF way to run up the hill, or a windy path. It’s time for a race. Rachel and Olivia start running up the windy way, while Chris, some other boys, and I run up the steep hill alongside a big neglected pipe. We beat them by a landslide.

I look up over the hill into the campgrounds. There’s all these tires that have weed plants growing in them. “Come in overwatch” says Nick in a radio voice, causing White Russian and me to laugh. That was the call-sign for the big eagle we saw flying over the campsite from this same spot. “He’s our eye in sky” says one of my fellow Recon Team Charlies.

It’s decided that this floating dock should serve the best purpose to enjoy the sunlight. Nick and I use a chain attached to it to pull it ashore. “Un, Dos, Tres” says Nick as we time our efforts to pull that thing ashore. We do a few iterations of this and decide that this was ‘good enough’. The whole crew jumps on the dock, and the front part of it sinks in the water a bit. It’s a nice cozy vibe, and we’re all sitting around drinking Jamieson.

This is just way too cozy for Jonny. He’s just a complete hooligan right now. He has a bottle of Jamieson in one hand, and he’s at the end of the dock jumping from one foot to the other, shaking the dock in the water. The old dock is partly submerged in the water as he does this. He’s either trying to sink it or get everyone wet, no one is sure. “No.” “No.” “No.” “No.” Chrissy says to Jonny whenever he tries to open his mouth. She’s had just about enough of his shit today. I’m ambivalent, and C-dog is totally loving it, egging him on an enabling his behavior.

squad

Chris(sy) has his DSLR, and sets up a timer photo to capture us all chilling on the dock. It’s the golden hour of the day, the sunlight just perfect for portrait photography. We all look great.

The sun goes down and Jonny tries to push the dock away. Everyone gets spooked and jumps off. He kind of ruined the moment there, I could have chilled on the dock for a little while now. Oh well. We all head down the hill, ending up near the common cooking area.

It’s twilight, and there’s some groups of people in the outdoor cooking area hanging out, some dogs roam around playing with each other off-leash. Some people are playing cornhole, and our group just sidles up beside it, and the people playing kind of just kill their game, trying to get us to take over. They either have had enough of the game, or enough of being near us. I think it’s the latter.

I lay on this huge hammock made of white tarp stretched between two huge wooden pieces. It’s suspended between two trees. It’s like 10 feet long and 4 feet wide. Several of us are laying in this big hammock, watching all the different dogs play with each other. Nick’s dog Ukiah is facing off with the other dogs, who are trying to intimidate her, but that dog has some steely resolve, completely unfazed by the bigger dogs. “WHAT NOW, WHAT NOW BITCH. WHAT NOW. HUH? WHAT NOW.” I could imagine Ukiah saying to the other dog. Body language speaks louder than words.

Jonny isn’t finished his chaos, He wants to rock the boat–literally. He’s going nuts on the hammock, making it swing wildly left to right. He’s all excited and saying unintelligible British things as he rocks the hammock back and forth. Some people roll off, wanting nothing to do with this. I remain on, and he gets in a bit of a war with Rachel. They’re on opposite sides of the hammock, trying to swing the other one off. Rachel falls off, but has resolve and jumps back on to try to dethrone the king. I’m still laying on the hammock chillin–I don’t mind a little movement.

The rumble begins, and Jonny ends up tumbling off, doing a big dramatic roll onto the ground. All that commotion makes the dogs go CRAZY! They’re all running around in circles, barking like mad. Our group really just rolled in here like a fucking hurricane. With all that pineapple rum, we’re a fucking tropical storm that’s for sure.

After that debacle, everyone walks back to the campsite, but I hang back for a few minutes just to do a comparison of what the campsite is like when we’re not terrorizing everyone. It was pretty calm. Yep, case closed. We’re obnoxious assholes, and I don’t mind one bit.

We get back to the campsite, and Dimitry has his ankle all propped up with some ice. It turns out on the walk back he was dancing, and rolled his ankle RealReal bad. It was swole as fuck.

The camp-fire is raging, and we all sit around drinking and shooting the shit. We’re all a little exhausted from our full day. Rumor around camp is that a live music show will go on at 11:30 PM. A pretty cocky start time, but we’ll allow it. We make smores and drink around the fire until we hear the music fire up across the pond. I’m pleasantly surprised to see that it’s happening.

Most of the group moseys back over, bringing the Jamieson and a 30-rack of Coors. The music is being played in this cool raised wooden area, providing a little dancefloor and stage in the woods–hell yeah. The first act is kind of reminisecent of Crystal Castles, and not bad. Then a second fellow riffs on his electric guitar about having “fridge magnets that don’t stick, so I hold ’em up with tape”. He also had a song about “Where the white things roam” as a sort of ode to gentrification.

It’s almost 1 AM now, and they’re going to stop the music. The last guy that comes on stage is just fucking horrible, so that was our cue to leave. The whole squad does an about-face and walks outta there, feeling somewhat bad about leaving in the middle of the set, but ultimately relieved to be out of there.

The fire is still going, and poor Dimitry is still there hanging out, icing his ankle. We have some more drinks around the fire, running out of battery eventually on the speaker. Slowly, slowly–pole pole–people begin to retire. At some point it’s just C-dog and I.

The stars are so incredible tonight, as they were the night before. Chris and I go out to the grass clearing beside our camp-site, bringing out chairs to just stargaze. I’ve got some of the ‘Thai crack’ menthol inhaler, the Thai herbal version of Vicks.

We don’t last long sitting, and we’re quickly laying down and staring at the cosmos. The sky looks milky with stars, you can see the Milky Way a bit. I’m shining my laser into the sky to try to find constellations. There’s too many stars for me to even identify constellations. So beautiful

I pass out soon after that.

Mendocino Magic – Day 2 was originally published on RUT-IS-UP

[hopeishappinessff]

Chapter 63

After cleaning ourselves up as best as we could and pulling our clothes back on, we finally made it to my house a short while later and the moment we set foot in the front door Chris was immediately bombarded with tons of questions, hugs, and kisses. I laughed at the sight of my aunt slapping him on the shoulder and asking him what he did to get ‘locked up’ in the first place and what’d happened to his chin, just as I asked when I first laid eyes on him. Ms. Joyce was still at work when we got there, but my aunt, Tootie, Desean, and Destani were all there with more than enough questions to go around. I gave them their time with him and trotted on upstairs to my room for an immediate shower. The desperation on Chris’s face as I exited the room was priceless and I could tell he wanted nothing more than to escape all the attention, but I only giggled and shook my head at his expense… I didn’t even have the energy to try to save him. I marched straight to my bathroom the moment I crossed the threshold into my room. My shower was quick and relaxing and gave me just a bit of temporary relief for the ache in my thighs. Just as I exited the steamy bathroom, my bedroom door opened and Chris made his way in. I nibbled into the flesh of my bottom lip and smirked as I watched him yawn and lean against the back of the door.  "What you smiling at?" He asked with his lips twisted into a charming smirk as he cut his eyes at me. I shook my head and moved past him to my dresser "Nothing. You tired?" "Fuck yeah," He groaned, pushing himself away from the door, "I ain't slept a wink in three fucking days."  I sighed as I pulled on a pair of boyshorts under my towel "Well, I kinda thought we could talk… but I guess we can do that after you wake up." "Nah, we can talk now." He said, dropping his sweater and t-shirt on my dresser and kicking his shoes off near the door. He approached me and placed his hands at the top of my towel. My eyes were locked on his handsome face and I didn't bother to protest when he tugged at the towel, letting it tumble into a pile the floor. He eyed my breasts for a moment then smirked and leaned around me to pull a bra from the open underwear drawer. I turned around and swept my hair over one shoulder to give him clearance to slip the straps over my shoulders and hook it in the back.  "Now... where do we start?" He asked, leaning forward to press his lips against the back of my shoulder and wrap his arms around my waist. "Well... I think you can start by telling me what you did." I said, leaning forward to pull one of his abandoned t-shirts out of the drawer. He unraveled his arms from my waist and I peered into the mirror attached to my dresser and watched as he moved toward my bed. I slipped the t-shirt on over my head and turned to face him just as he claimed a seat on the edge of the bed. He leaned over with his elbows on his knees and his hands linked together in front of him with pure stress all over his face. I stared at him for a moment then walked over and sat indian style beside him on the bed.  "If you don't wanna talk about it, that's fine." "Oh, uh... nah it's cool. They uh... they told me I was there as a suspect for first degree murder.” He blurted quietly. I stared at him blankly, not quite sure if I’d really heard what he said correctly. My heart started to race almost immediately and fear washed over me the longer I thought about what he’d said "What? Wait… why? Why would you be a suspect for something like that?”  "Hope. Do you…" He raised his head and stared straight ahead at the door, "Do you remember that day we went to my apartment and found out it’d been broken into?”  "Yes... what does that have to do with anything?" He swiped his tongue out over his lips and shut his eyes "I ain’t tell you the full story of what happened that day. When I walked in, the place was a mess… it was completely fucking wrecked. I mean everything I owned was destroyed and the entire apartment was turned upside down. I looked around at everything, just to take in the damage then I walked down the hall to the bedroom and…” He hesitated and dropped his gaze to the floor, shaking his head as he mentally relived that day all over again. “There was a guy there, in my room. I guess, I don’t know… it was a set up and they were anticipating me coming back there… they were anticipating us walking in that room together. So without even thinking, I pulled out my piece and I shot him. His gun was already raised to me so if I would have hesitated, I wouldn’t even be sitting here right now.”  “You were defending yourself,” I muttered, not wanting to listen to him talk about how close to danger he actually was, “In your own home. It was complete self-defense, right?” "Yeah it was and I explained that while they interrogated me. But they thought I was lying… that’s why I was stuck there for three days. They tried to get me to confess to something that was completely false,” Chuckling humorlessly, he shook his head again and sighed, “And you know why they refused to believe me?”  "Why?" I muttered. "They had supposed sufficient evidence from a bitch named Daynah. She claimed to have witnessed the incident from her apartment and of course after the bullets went flying, I dipped… I ain’t stick around to find out what happened to ol dude. Someone called the cops after the commotion and when they arrived on the scene, some of my neighbors were questioned. Funny thing is, everybody either told them they weren't home at the time, or they knew nothing about what happened. She was the only dumbass to say something and I know it was purely out of jealousy. God, if I could just go over there and strangle that bitch…" I quickly shifted closer to him and placed a hand against his back, rubbing up and down soothingly "Charlie, it’s okay. I know what she did wasn’t right, but don’t focus on that… you’ll only get yourself worked up.”  "Nah man, I just got this bad vibe about that girl. I feel like she somehow had something to do with that shit. How was she strategically the only person in the area at home at that exact time and she just happened to witness it all… that shit don’t make sense to me,” He huffed with furrowed brows, “I’ll say this much, let me see her ass in public somewhere, I don't give a fuck about going back to jail, swear I’ll knock her ass out.” "Chris, stop it," I said, clutching a handful of the back of his shirt when he made an abrupt move to stand, "Listen to me, you need to calm down. I get it… what she did was wrong, but you can't go back and do anything to change it because it already happened. Let it go. You can't afford to go back to that place Charlie. I need you, your mom needs you... the baby needs you." He sighed exhaustedly and dropped his head, running a hand over his face "How'd you even get me out. When they finally processed me, they were tryna threaten not to post bail til I went to court for this shit, but then suddenly you show up and they tell me I’m being released." "Well I got some money together as soon as I got the call this morning." "Where'd you get it from?" "I don't think that matters Chris..." "Where did you get the money from Hope?" He asked again, turning his head to fully face me. I stared down at the floor for a while, hesitant about sharing with him exactly where I got the money "From your safe." "From my safe," He repeated and I nodded slowly, "In my apartment?" "Yes Chris, but..." He shook his head and quickly stood from the bed “You went in my safe in my apartment to get money to bail me out?" I could feel my heart racing as I stared up at him desperately... if I wasn’t mistaken, he was clearly getting upset at the thought of me taking money from him behind his back. I opened my mouth to respond, but I couldn’t bring myself to even form a sentence.  "How the fuck did you even get in?" He asked, furrowing his brows deeply. "Well I used my key to get in and the money was still there... it wasn’t stolen after the break in and the police didn't take it." I mumbled. "Okay, so... I'm assuming that if the money was still there and you could still use your key to get in... there was no police surveillance at that apartment. Like, you still had regular ole access to walk right in, right?”  "Chris, what does that have to do with anything?" "Anybody could have been in that fucking apartment Sy'Diyah and where the fuck was I? In jail! What were you planning to do if you walked in there and some nigga woulda hopped out at you, huh? You ain't have anything to fucking protect yourself and only Lord knows what the fuck I woulda done if word got back to me that something happened to you." "Well I was only going in there because that's the only place that I could think of to get enough money to get you out. Nothing happened to me and I'm fine, that's all that matters." I argued, standing up to face him. "So I guess you just got lucky then, ‘cause with the way shit's been panning out lately, everyone has it out for my ass and anybody that has shit to do with me," He paused and shut his eyes for a moment, shaking his head as if that would remove the thought of what I’d done from his mind, “You know what Sy, I love you… too much for this shit."  I attempted to take a step closer to him, but he swiftly moved past me to snatch my car keys from the corner of my dresser and he moved closer to the bedroom door.  "What are you talking about Chris? You love me too much for what? Where are you going?" "I don't know, I just… need to go." He mumbled. I bolted toward him before he had time to get all the way out into the hall and stood directly in his path "If it's the money, Chris I can figure out a way to get it back to you... just, don't leave." He seemed completely unfazed by what I said and he only shook his head as he moved around me into the hall and down the stairs. There wasn't much else I could do but stand at edge of the landing and watch him practically run away from me. He didn't even bother to stop in the den and tell anyone that he was leaving and I swore I could feel my heart sink at the thought of making him that upset.  With a sigh, I turned and headed back into my room. I could hear my car starting from my partially cracked window, but I ignored the sound altogether and plopped down in the center of my bed and shut my eyes. I couldn't even believe I’d just tried to be, what I thought, was the best girlfriend I could be, and this was the thanks I got.  I sighed again and shut my eyes. -- I tossed and turned for majority of the night, hoping that somehow with the right position the bone chilling cramps that shot through my stomach would go away. I rolled out of bed at least four different times through the night to rush to the restroom, hovering over the toilet and wiping myself constantly to check to see if my period had come. Every time I checked, I never spotted a single drop of blood, so I’d be left to drag myself back to bed and curl up in a hopeless ball, clutching my stomach in discomfort. After twisting and turning and moaning and groaning for nearly three hours, I finally managed to doze off for only two hours before I awoke with a strong urge to use the restroom.  With a frustrated sigh, I pushed myself into an upright position on the edge of the bed and slid a hand along the back of my neck, rolling my head around to one side when I suddenly felt a terrible cramp there as well. I stood from the bed and made my way toward the restroom to relieve myself. Once I was done, I washed my hands and leaned over the sink to toss a handful of cool water in my face to wake myself up. I sluggishly opened the door and moseyed out, not bothering to acknowledge the sound of the bedroom door closing. I already knew exactly who it was and I saw no need to even greet him. I eased around him as he stepped over to the edge of my dresser with my keys in his hand and I could feel him staring at me as I passed.  “What’s wrong wit you?” He asked gruffly. “Nothing.” I mumbled, subtly rolling my eyes at his obvious attitude. I climbed back into my spot in bed and didn’t bother rolling over to check the time or even glance out the window to see if perhaps now was a good time to actually get up.  “Why you walking past me like I’m not standing right here?” I turned my head slowly and peered at him over the edge of the comforter, rolling my eyes directly in his face and heaving a sigh before turning back over so my back was facing him. I could hear him mumbling quietly to himself and I strained my ears to hear that he was swearing about something. I was sure I had a lot to do with his choice of words, but I honestly didn’t care… all I wanted to do was shut my eyes and pretend like he wasn’t in the room with me.  “Well, here go your keys.” “Sit them on my dresser.” I whispered, never lifting my head to turn and face him. The room went silent for a while, but I never heard the door open so I knew he was still standing there like a creep staring at me. “So can I talk to you for a minute?” He asked suddenly. I snatched my eyes open, staring at the bay window across from me “What Chris?” He sighed and I felt the end of the bed dip under his weight as he sat down “Why you acting like that? What the fuck did I do?” Blinking slowly a few times to actually register his stupid question, I finally pushed myself up and turned to look at him “Are you serious?” “Yes I’m fucking serious? I mean, you acting like I stepped on your toe and forgot to apologize or some shit.”  My brows furrowed with utter irritation and I stared at him as if he’d just spoke in a foreign language. “No Chris, if I’m not mistaken you did kind of forget to apologize to me for taking my car like that last night. And oh, I don’t recall hearing a ‘thank you for bailing me out of jail Sy’Diyah, I really appreciate it.” I said, attitude oozing from my words.  He stared at me blankly for a few seconds then nodded and peered down at his linked hands “You acting pissy with me ‘cause I didn’t apologize for taking your car and I didn’t thank you for coming to get me out of jail?”  I rolled my eyes for about the millionth time and scoffed at two of the dumbest questions I’d ever heard then turned to lay back down. I could feel the bed shifting again, indicating that he’d gotten up but I didn’t care to see where he was going… I was just keeping my fingers cross that he would leave my room completely. But of course, I heard the thud of his shoes falling against the floor and soon I could feel the bed shifting once more as he made his way toward the top near me, yet I kept still with my eyes closed even after he straddled me.  “Look, I’m sorry I got upset and took your keys last night without asking. I was pissed off and you know I hate to be around you when I’m that mad. And I’m sorry I waited ‘til now to thank you for bailing me outta jail,” I could feel the sudden presence of his face closer to mine and moments later he pressed his lips against my right cheek, “Thank you for bailing me outta jail.”  I slowly pried my eyes open, staring at his chest and raising my gaze to meet his. I wanted to lay there with my eyes closed pretending as though I were asleep, but I knew he would only force me to open them and look at him. I also wanted to turn over and bury my face in my pillow… my eyes were starting to water after his apology and I didn’t want him to see me cry. A deep frown washed over his face immediately as he stared down at me “What’s wrong?” I shook my head and lifted a hand to wipe away the stray tears. The longer he hovered over me and stared, the more I cried and soon I was sniffling in a dire effort to control my tears.  “Baby what’s wrong?” Chris asked softly, lifting a hand to use the pad of his thumb to assist with wiping away my tears. I swatted his hand away from my face and pressed the palms of both hands flat against his chest. In that moment, I had no desire to have him so close to me let alone in my presence at all. My emotions were noticeably out of whack and the longer he kept me restrained underneath him the more upset I got.  “Nothing, get up.” I muttered, pushing harder against his chest. “Am I hurting you?” He asked, moving away from me in a flash. I shook my head and wiped at the steadily falling tears.  “No… can you please leave?” My voice quivered as I spoke and I couldn’t bring myself to speak any louder than a whisper.  Chris’s head jerked back in surprise and he stood up near the side of my bed closest to me “You want me to leave? Why? I apologized and thanked you… what else…” “Just get out… please.” I begged.  “But I…” There was clear desperation written all over his face, but I forced myself not to look him in the eye for the simple fact that I knew I’d only cry harder if I did.  He took a step closer to me with his arms stretched wide and I stepped back as though he were venomous to me “Chris, please don’t. Just… go.” He blinked rapidly and parted his lips as though he were going to speak, only no words left his mouth. After a few seconds of standing there staring at me utterly dumbfounded, he released a deep sigh and swiped a hand over his head as he started a slow retreat to the door. I could feel his eyes on me as he moved away, but I kept my eyes glue to the floor as I stood there with one arm lingering at my side and the other wrapped protectively around my waist. He stood hesitantly at the door as if he wanted to say something to me, but eventually he took heed to my desire to have him gone and he finally slipped his shoes back on and walked out. I rushed forward to the door to shut and lock it behind him and moved back to my bed where I plopped down on my side and cried like a baby into my pillow. -- I was in bed on my right side with my head buried partially in my pillow. Destani had come over a while ago, claiming to be too bored to sit at home alone and she now sat on the floor across from me under my window. She was in the middle of reciting the story of how she’d had an encounter with Rashad the other day, but my thoughts were so out of control I could barely pay attention.  “Oooh if I coulda just popped that lil nigga in the side of his fetus size head. Then to think he had the nerve and fucking audacity to come try to speak to me like we cool… I was like nigga, fuck are you doing? We ain’t cool! I swear I hate that shrimp ass nigga.” She fussed with a roll of her eyes.  “Mmm…” Was all I managed to respond with. Her entire rant literally went in one ear and out the other and after nearly fifteen minutes of her talking nonstop, she finally started to notice my lack of interest in what she was talking about.  “What’s wrong with you?” She asked with a raised brow. I shook my head with a sigh… I really wasn’t in the mood to explain myself to her and I specifically didn’t feel up to dealing with an interrogation from her.  She smacked her lips dramatically and hopped up from her spot on the floor, plopping down on the edge of my bed directly in front of me. She stared at me for a while, with an uncertain twinkle in her eye. Suddenly, she leaned in close to me and lifted a hand to my belly, which she started to rub in small circular motions.  “Dez, what are you doing?” I asked, quickly shifting back away from her. “I know what’s wrong with you,” She whispered still leaning in close to my stomach, “You know what’s wrong with you too, but you just don’t wanna admit it.”  “Nothing is wrong with me Destani. I’m just tired.” I argued, pushing her hand away from my stomach and moving into an upright position. “Girl, that’s just a symptom. I tried to tell your ass before, but you ain’t wanna listen to me… you’re pregnant Sy’Diyah and you know it.” She said as she stood up at the side of the bed and wedged her hands against her hips. I rolled my eyes at her silly assumption and slid to the side of the bed to stand up “Shut up Destani. I think I would know if I was pregnant or not and I know that I am not.” She only nodded her head and nibbled into the corner of her bottom lip “Alright, but don’t come crying to me when that morning sickness starts kicking your ass. Now, since I’m sure both of us is just a wee bit emotionally distraught today, let’s hit up Dairy Queen or something.”  Though I was completely against her idea of me being with child, I could honestly agree that my emotions were completely out of whack and a nice cold and creamy treat would be a good pick me up.  A short while later, we exited my bedroom and made our way downstairs to the den. My aunt wasn’t leaving for work until later, so I figured we should let her know that we were leaving and check to see if she wanted anything. Luckily, Chris had already left so I didn’t have to worry about any awkward tension the moment I set foot in the den. We departed from the house after speaking to my aunt and since Destani had so lazily drove to my house rather than walking the few yards, we hopped in her car and hit the road. I was praying for a nice silent ride there, but Destani almost immediately crushed my hopes the moment we got in the car and she proceeded to go on yet another rant about this make believe pregnancy. I didn’t even put up an argument with her… I simply leaned my head against the window and stared out at the scenery, barely paying any attention to her nagging.  By the time we arrived at the fast food restaurant, I was on the verge of drifting off to sleep. If it weren’t for the slight bumps along the ride along with the sound of Destani’s obnoxious voice, I would have been completely knocked out. We entered the establishment and claimed a seat near a large window lining one side of the restaurant. I didn’t have much of an appetite after the ride here, so I sat quietly and patiently waiting for Destani to place her order up at the front counter. Casually glancing out of the window, I instantly spotted a familiar looking SUV in the parking lot. I eyed it closely and the moment the driver side door popped open, Destani slipped into her seat across from me, taking my attention from the window.  “What you staring at?” She asked, peeping out the window. “Nothing. Where is your food?” I asked, hoping that she would go along with my change of topic. She glared at me through squinted eyes and twisted her lips into a smirk “Why, you hungry? I can go order you something?” With a quick roll of my eyes at her mischievous antics, I diverted my gaze to the door just as a tall frame stepped in that looked all too familiar. I gawked at the back of his head for a while, until he turned and gave me his full profile. My jaw nearly dropped to the table as I continued to stare… I never would have imagine running into him after the incident between him and Chris over that stupid ring months ago. As he continued to mosey through the door, I failed to notice that I had slumped as far as my body would allow down into the seat.  “Why you sitting like that?” Destani asked curiously. “I’m not sitting like anything Dez. Can you please go get your food so we can leave?” I begged. “What you rushing for nigga…” She started, whipping around in her seat to see what’d sparked my sudden change of mood. She spotted him just as he turned in our direction and from the corner of my eye, I could see that he’d spotted us as well. A simple smirk stretched across his lips immediately and I couldn’t ignore the eerie chill that shot through my bones.  In no time at all, he was standing tall at the edge of our table with that same annoyingly handsome smirk plastered on his face and his hands tucked in his pockets.  “Trey? Hey… where’d you come from dude?” Destani asked entirely too jolly. “Hey… Destani, right?” She nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but he’d already locked his gaze on me, “Hey Sy. Long time, no see?”  I cracked the tiniest smile and sat up appropriately in my seat. Through my peripheral, I could see Destani staring at me with pure amusement in her eyes. They both kept their eyes glued to me and I prayed that my cheeks weren’t as hot red as they felt.  “Um, I think my food is ready. I’m gonna go get it and uh… yeah, I’ll be back.” Destani blurted as she slipped away from the table, making her way up to the front counter. Trey glanced back at her as she walked away and casually helped himself to her vacant seat. He seemed way too enthusiastic about speaking to me, even after I practically crushed his pride months ago. “So, how you been?” He asked. “I’ve been okay… I guess.” I muttered, refusing to look him in the eye. Chuckling softly, he crossed his arms and leaned them down onto the table “What you mean ‘you guess?’ You don’t know how you been?” “Well yeah I do, it’s just that… I don’t know, everything has been pretty crazy for me lately…” I clamped my mouth shut abruptly before I could even think to complete that sentence and shook my head discreetly, “How have you been?” He shrugged his shoulders and glanced back toward the front counter “I been chilling. You know, had to take a lil time to myself to mend my broken heart, but I’m straight now though.” My mouth flew open in shock and I gasped when I felt that sinking feeling of my heart dropping “Trey, listen… I’m so sorry... I swear I never meant to cause you any problems or hurt your feelings…”  He chuckled a bit louder and swiped his tongue out over his lips “I’m playing with you ma. I’m cool, really. I don’t want you to feel guilty for hurting my feelings or anything. I mean, I just… don’t feel like you caused me any trouble because you didn’t.”  “Are you sure? Because if me even sitting here talking to you right now is, you know…” “Nah, nah love you good… trust me. Talking to you makes me feel better, you know?” He reassured me.  I sighed and attempted to relax myself a bit in his presence… if he was determined to be so insistent, I might as well make myself comfortable. Our conversation started a bit tense… he would ask me a series of questions and I would simply respond with a one or two word reply. After a while, I nearly forgot that I was sitting in the restaurant because I found myself so in depth with the conversation. Other than Destani, Chris, and my aunt there weren’t many people I felt completely comfortable revealing my personal life to. But there, in that very moment, I couldn’t stop myself from going on and on about every little thing that’d been bothering me lately. From the way I randomly burst into a fit of tears earlier in the day with Chris, to Destani’s assumption of me being pregnant… I spilled it all to him and the most amazing part was that he simply sat there and listened. He didn’t interrupt once and the way he stared at me intensely as I spoke made me feel like he actually cared. For the past few weeks, I’d been feeling like nothing but a stressed and emotional wreck, but every bit of that seemed to disappear the more I spoke. I almost failed to notice Destani standing near our table as I continued on, but the moment she cleared her throat I paused mid-sentence and turned to face her.  “Hey, um… you ready to go yet?” She asked.  I furrowed my brows and glanced down at her empty hands “Where is your food?” “I ate it. I figured I should give ya’ll some time to talk. So, I ate, flirted with a few niggas, got a few digits and everything, then come back over here to find you still popping off at the mouth.”  I glanced quickly at Trey just as he lowered his head and laughed. He raised his head a second later and glanced up at Destani. “Did you drive here?”  Shifting her weight to one leg, she placed her hands on her hips and stared down at him “Yes I did.” “Aiight, well I’ll tell you what… if you want to go ahead and leave, I can just take her home.”  “Oh no Trey, you don’t have to do that. I can go with her… I’ll just call you…” I blurted. “Or you can just stay here and finish what you were saying,” He replied smoothly, “Don’t worry about her Destani. I got her.” Destani stared down at me with an amused smirk and raised her hands in a surrendering manner as she took a step back from the table “Well alright. I’ll text you if Breezy’s home Sy.”  I rolled my eyes and released a withheld breath in a huff… I really could care less if he was home or not. If I wanted Trey to give me a ride home, Chris would just have to shut up and deal with it.  With Destani finally gone, I glanced at Trey to find his eyes already set on me with an amused look on his face “What?” Tilting his head to one side, he shook his head his head and swiped his tongue out over his lips “Your dude still has beef with me, even though me and you don’t even communicate anymore?” I sighed and quickly ran a hand through my disheveled curls “No, he doesn’t. And even if he does, I don’t care. He’s been acting really stupid lately and I honestly don’t care who he ‘has beef with’ right now.”  His head jerked back in shock and he chuckled softly “My bad, I didn’t know you felt that way.” “No, it’s fine,” I giggled, “My feelings have really been all over the place the past few days.”  His brows furrowed almost instantly and he stared at me through squinted eyes “What you mean?”  “Well, I don’t know… I’ve just been really emotional, you know. Like one minute I’ll be just fine… happy and laughing and everything. Then the next thing I know, I’m like depressed and crying for no reason at all.” I explained.  “And how have you felt in the past hour?” He asked randomly.  I stared at him blankly as I considered exactly how I felt during the entire hour I’d been sitting there talking to him and I couldn’t contain the slow grin that tugged at my lips “I’ve felt good… really good.” He smirked handsomely and leaned his crossed arms back down onto the table “Not depressed or upset or anything?” “No… not depressed or upset.” “You didn’t feel the urge to cry at all right?” I laughed softly and shook my head as I continued to gaze at him in amazement “I didn’t want to cry at all.” “Good… it’s nice to know I can keep you happy.” He mumbled, moving abruptly to slip out of the booth before I could respond, “You ready to go?”  With a quick nod, I reached over to gather my things from the corner of the booth and made my way out of my seat to follow him out of the restaurant. TBC...