#and terrified about the rising antisemitism and talking about how scared i was for my friends and family and how it didn't feel safe

[avi-on-jumblr]

it is mind-boggling that the first thing people do after seeing a horrible antisemitic attack, or the firebombing of a synagogue, or a mob going after a jewish teacher, or the assault of a jewish student, is to go out and make a statement condemning "islamophobia and antisemitism and other forms of hate" in that order.

[matan4il]

It's been a month since the lives of every Jew around the world was changed and I know that I for one will never fully recover from this. I'm sending you and everyone I know in Israel so much love and support because I know that at least I can live relatively untouched by what's happening.

I desperately want to talk to my non-jewish friends about what's going on but I honestly still have no idea how to do so because the situation is so unbelievably horrific that without having actual family and friends involved (or living in Israel), I don't think it's possible for anyone to appreciate how fucking terrifying everything is.

The news broke today of an American Jew dying after being attacked at a pro-palestine rally and there has been zero coverage of this outside of Jewish circles. I still check behind me when I commute because I'm afraid someone is gonna push me under a train because I am Jewish.

I joked, in the dark way that a lot of us do, that would I have to die for the gentiles to take the Jews' fears seriously and now someone has, it's clear that is being murdered in broad daylight (and not ok Israel because apparently it's clear that being in Israel invalidates your right to life in a lot of people's eyes) isn't enough to even get people to listen to us.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Hi, love! Sorry it took me a moment. I'm doing my best, but I hope you know that my heart is always with you!

I feel exactly the same. My life will never be the same. Everything feels different. And we will heal, but scars this deep, they don't disappear. They will always be there. We have been forever changed. And I think that's... I think that's a Jewish experience that many former generations had, and we fooled ourselves to think the generation of the Holocaust would be the last one to go through this.

IDK what advice to give you on talking to your non-Jewish friends. I can tell you I've had many who reached out to me, and it's been so heartwarming. I've had three that I reached out to, but pretty much because I saw them spreading hate filled posts, and I thought they could, and would want, to do better. That didn't really work out, but then I guess if they were extreme enough that I felt compelled to reach out to them, maybe this attempt never really stood a chance. All I know is that I do feel better for having tried. But if you have friends who are not that far gone, yet they haven't been talking to you about this, then maybe an option would be to tell them that you need to share your feelings and thoughts. People often shy away from politics, but if they're really your friends, then they would listen to you sharing these more personal aspects of what's been going on.

Yes, the news about Paul Kessler's homicide were horrifying. A 69 years old man shouldn't have to be scared to go out expressing what he thinks in a free, democratic society. Please, do be careful! What this world should be, it clearly isn't.

I'm gonna be honest, after everything our people had gone through, I'd rather Jews be alive and hated, than spoken of compassionately, but dead. If the world had shown full empathy for every single one of the massacre's victims, I would still give all of that empathy away to have our people back, alive and well, unharmed. What's insane is that even dead Jews no longer get any empathy, not in Israel, and not outside it, as you've pointed out. So many people who claim to be reblogging anti-Israel posts, because they value human life, have failed to reblog anything condemning the massacre, or the rise in antisemitism, or mourn Paul.

IDK what we can do other than be there for each other, and speak up as much as we can, and where and when it's safe for us. I am sending you so much love, and the softest of hugs, okay? Please do let me know how you're doing, if you feel like it. xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[noa-nightingale]

I didn't see anything about this on tumblr yet so I am making this post.

Last week on Saturday evening (March 2nd 2024), an Orthodox Jew was attacked and stabbed in Zürich, Switzerland. The man is 50 years old. He was badly wounded and taken to the hospital with life threatening injuries.

He, thank God, survived the attack.

According to the articles I read, his attacker was heard shouting "Tod allen Juden!" ("Death to all Jews!").

I'll include some links - they are in German, I am sorry for the people who won't be able to read them but I still want to put them here.

Article from the SRF (Schweizer Radio und Fernsehen)

Article 1 Jüdische Allgemeine

Article 2 Jüdische Allgemeine

I also read in one article that attacks like this are apparently rare in Switzerland and something like this has not happened in about two decades.

I am sad and angry and I don't really know what to say. I am deeply worried about the rise of antisemitism I keep seeing everywhere, including Germany and Switzerland.

I keep reading about and I have talked to Jewish people being scared for their safety and the safety of their families. This is not okay. This is terrifying.

(I feel like I can't do much but I try to listen and one thing I see repeated is that after the events of October 7th last year and everything that followed and is still following, antisemitism is getting worse. I really don't know if I should mention Israel/Palestine in this but there is so much antisemitism surrounding this that I felt I have to. I want to say to my followers who are not Jewish, please please take some time to learn about this. And please please especially take a look at how the word "Zionist" is used surrounding this topic, because that is terrifying too. I just want to say, I wish every Jewish person, regardless of their stance on Zionism, safety. I just wish and hope and pray that you are all safe.)

I hope the man who was attacked recovers fully. I hope his family will be okay. I don't know what else to say. Antisemitism in every form is wrong and it is horrible what is done in the name of it.

To every Jewish person reading this, I just wish you safety and joy and love and peace. I hold you in my heart.

[i-swear-my-name-isnt-raz]

I am so fucking tired of being mistreated and walked over. In order to be walked upon, you must be lying down. and I'm done lying down.

I am only starting to speak up about these kinds of grievances of mine in recent years because they have brought so much pain for the last 15 years. I have had former classmates tell me I didn't face racism growing up, or that I dealt with bullying. I have had others tell me I have nothing to fear on campus. A tall, white, straight man telling me, a queer jewish asian, that I shouldn't be at the very least worried is rich. I have traveled to more than 25 countries and to all four hemispheres, I think I can talk about where and where I don't feel safe. And right now I have felt safer walking through Istanbul at night than walking around my own city. And this is fully due to the rise in antisemitism. and the lack of support from goyim I have seen for the women who were raped and assaulted on 10/7.

I don't talk about being sexually assaulted and harassed for 6 years by one of my classmates because I have a friend who tells me people should have been nicer to my assaulter. This person also follows my main account, which is part of the reason I created this side blog. I don't want people who know me to see these posts. It's easier talking about deep trauma in front of strangers than people I have known for 16 years.

I am terrified that I will run into him one day. I cry about it at night. I hope that 10 plus years has changed my physical appearance enough to go unnoticed. I think one of the scariest realizations was that he still remembered me in high school, because one of his classmates went to my dojo. And she told me I was still on his list. It terrifies me that I could still be on his mind. I have blocked his family members on social media, because his grandmother and my mom are Facebook friends. Which means he could know what I look like now.

I never express this fear out loud because people around me see me as a strong person, which then makes it hard for me to break down around them. I am the strong person my friends go to for support, but I feel like I would crush them under the weigh of my problems. I mention it in passing sometimes, but I never get into the details. because it scares me to vocalize it.

I have trained in karate and Brazilian Jiu jitsu for 10 years. It took me two years before I was comfortable rolling (bjj version of sparring and training) with male students in full uniform. It took until my 7th year training to be comfortable wearing leggings and rash guard to class. I would wear gi pants and a rash guard, because the thought of men touching my legs with their hands makes my skin crawl. But once the pandemic came around, it was no longer practical to wear gi pants and cheaper to wear leggings. And even though I am one of the highest ranked women at my dojo, I still don't feel comfortable in male dominated classes, especially when I am wearing just leggings and a rash guard. In karate, it took me a few years before I was comfortable wearing just my bra under my gi. because I was worried how it appeared to men on the floor.

I have never been super comfortable wearing revealing clothing, but I have been slowly reclaiming those clothes. And I am slowly trying to overcome this trauma. I spent a good amount of time this summer not wearing a shirt because it was so fucking hot in Portugal (and I only brought seven shirts with me: 3 work shirts, 3 day trip shirts, 1 sleeping shirt). And for the first two weeks, I was living with three men and two women. It scared me at first, but I decided that if I am used to changing around women, and wearing skin tight clothing while grappling, I could wear my bra and biking shorts in my own living space. So I did. and it felt great.

I will keep talking about these events, partially because it makes me less afraid and partially because every time I tell a story, the easier it gets. Maybe one day I will be able to say some of the things in this post out loud. for now I will keep taking small steps

[sol1loqu1st]

under a readmore because. yeah. cw for discussion of like. everything happening on the news rn

i don't know how to talk about any of this without it sounding like i am making. like. Literal G*nocide (censored to avoid tags not because i think it's a Bad Word) about Me And My Mental Illness so i guess prefacing with. like. this is not any sort of #Take, i'm just processing some complicated personal feelings that i don't know how to talk about with my therapist. at the core of it all i'm scared and not sure how to help and i feel like there's so much confusion that if i ask for real, tangible things i can do, there's a not-insignificant chance i might end up helping to make things worse.

anyways like. i've probably got moral ocd and at the very least have a lot of the symptoms, and i also have cptsd from like. a million different things but partially from constant, unrelenting exposure to horrific news (specifically, in a way where the narrative tends to be both "if you aren't spending a majority of your time and effort thinking about and trying to solve this, you are complicit" AND "this is hopeless, there's nothing the average person can do, no amount of donations and calling your reps and front line activism is ever going to help") since i was a young teen, again, who probably has moral ocd, and just. idk. everything happening right now is immensely triggering on so many levels.

i don't know what's *actually* happening because it feels like there are a hundred different narratives but i know there's a horrific genocide happening and i'm terrified that by not reblogging or talking about it much i'm not doing even the bare minimum of my part. but so many of the posts i would actually reblog (specifically, posts with actual information or ways to help -- as a personal rule, i won't reblog posts that are just fear or anger or venting (not because i think that's Bad(tm) but because it just makes me feel hopeless and suicidal)) seem to go out of their way to like. pin the blame on average citizens, or even jewish people, instead of the israeli (or hell, the united states) government, and i know that like. nuance gets lost when you're scared and angry and grieving and as an outsider it would be ridiculous to tone-police but with the rise in rampant antisemitism in the last few years, at least in the US, happening alongside all of this i am so so scared for my jewish friends and i'm scared for what it means for me when i eventually start my conversion process (or if it means that i'll never start, for my own safety) and i've already been struggling with activism burnout since like 2020 and i'm just. i feel sick watching genocide happen across the world and not knowing how to help and being scared that even if i attempt to help it's going to make a different problem worse. and i feel disgusted and horrified at myself for being so paralyzed by fear and confusion and my own much less significant trauma that i'm essentially no better than someone who intentionally sticks their head in the sand and doesn't care at all. which, see above, makes me worry that i'm complicit.

i'm open to replies to this post, including ones that challenge the way i feel and especially if anyone has any suggestions on constructive ways i can help (or groups i can donate to who are doing constructive things -- i've heard someone say even donations aren't helpful right now, i don't know if that's true or not) but i'm begging for compassion because like. believe me, whatever thing you're going to say about my position of relative privilege or like. White Guilt(tm) or anything like that, my brain has already guilt tripped me about it. i'm not necessarily asking for advice on how to turn this into actually constructive activism because i know that ultimately it's kinda on me, but i'm open to hearing advice anyone has

sorry for this being kinda incoherent, i didn't want to talk about it at all since i know it is like. the way i personally feel about this is not relevant or important. but it's consuming a lot of my thoughts and energy and i'm trying to find a way to find some sort of balance where i can still function without just sticking my fingers in my ears and pretending it's not happening

[mullroy]

so... SPLC recently released a guide for college students on combating the campus tours various neonazis are doing. They specifically condemned what happened at Auburn (my university, my hometown, and a protest I was at), and I agree with many of their points, but I’ve got a couple things to say. (Okay, looking back over this post, a lot of things to say.)

Around the same time Richard Spencer was confirmed to be coming to speak here, a student organization called the “White Student Union” started to gain recognition. Fliers about “peaceful ethnic cleansing” and similar shit started to pop up around campus. There was a rise in vocal antisemitism that I had never encountered in my hometown before (I can’t say “since”). I was dead fucking terrified. And I didn’t see a damn person doing SPLC’s “outreach and support for marginalized groups” for Jewish students. Or ethnically Jewish students, because damn is it fun to finally see your complicated relation with your ethnoreligious heritage validated... by a group who wants to use it as a reason to kill you.

In the examples of marginalized groups to reach out to and support, SPLC didn’t actually mention Jewish student groups. They mentioned Muslim student groups, POC student groups, and LGBT+ organizations, and holy hell am I aware that these groups are horrifically targeted, always and especially right now. And a lot of them are more visible targets than Jewish people (and there are a lot of Jewish people who are not white and/or not cis and/or not straight). But here’s the thing. When I showed up to that protest, there were a hell of a lot of specifically anti-Jewish signs. A guy started screaming “sieg Heil”. Denying that we’re in danger too, that we have reason to be scared, is some fucking insidious bullshit.

I did a quick CTRL-F through the guide, and there were a lot of mentions of “Jew” or “Jewish”. But every single one of them was in quotes, because they were something said by a neonazi. SPLC did not make a fucking mention of how to combat antisemitism in the entire guide.

I've heard more antisemitic jokes out of liberals than I've heard out of staunch conservatives (and I live in fucking Alabama, 90% of my town is staunch conservatives). It was my hyper-liberal history teacher who parroted Nazi rhetoric about Jewish people being inbred and having briefcases full of money (and who asked me after class if I was going to take the Israel heritage trip-- not because she knew anything about my actual heritage, but because I have a ‘Jewish’ surname). It was a vocally liberal classmate who snarled "they’re all white" when the subject of whether Jewish was an ethnicity came up. It was my considerate, liberal roommate who showed me Hitler memes about genocide in the expectation that I’d laugh.

Could we just acknowledge that antisemitism is still a very present bias and danger? That it needs attention and allyship the same as other shit? Thanks. Anyway.

Pretending that a disorganized attempt at setting up an "alternate event" in support of peace will do anything to help the people actually being targeted is overly optimistic. It rings the same as telling a kid “ignore the bullies and they’ll go away”. Here’s the thing-- we can ignore the bullies all we want. They’re still getting support from the people who like them, who think the bullying is funny. All we’re doing is taking away opposition.

People who are curious about the kind of things he's saying are going to show up anyway, and there's a hell of a difference between showing up to a calm, reasonable talk about how genocide is just dandy (with maybe one or two over-sensitive SJWs weakly protesting) and showing up to see a quarter of campus standing there saying "not here, you son of a bitch, not here”. Ignoring someone is a damn different thing than nonviolent protest.

I fucking know that that made people pay attention to him. I have not had the luxury of not paying attention to him since he started trying to tell my friends and neighbors that they’d be better off if they ran me out of town. The first time I felt safe on campus in weeks was in the middle of a crowd of people saying “YOU’RE WRONG”. “WE WILL NOT LET YOU SAY THAT THIS IS NORMAL, THAT THIS IS SAFE, THAT THIS IS WHO WE ARE.”  “YOU ARE NOT WHAT AUBURN IS.”