#and the fact it was dom calling MATT that 😭😭

[aleclightofmylifewoodbane]

STOP I JUST FOUND THE FUCKING FUNNIEST VIDEO 😭😭

im sorry this is so funny. matt panicked so hard

[sturnsslut]

sleepover - chris sturniolo

a/n : not much but leave suggestions, i’ll write almost anything + lowercase intended !!

warnings - dom!chris x sub!reader , pet names, teasing, swearing, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, slight choking, sneaky

——————————————————————————

‘ i feel you inside , no better feeling ‘

me and nick sturniolo had been best friends for almost 4 years now , and i had the BIGGEST crush on his brother , chris. of course i would never tell him , but i had a feeling he already sorta knew . ever since i told nick about my crush on chris , he has been teasing me NON STOP about it for almost 2 years. and he's always feeding into my delusions , even tho im trying to get over him.

anyway nick is constantly telling me how chris is always asking when im coming over next, how he's always talking about me , how he's starring at me when im not looking, things like that.

i don't believe any of it, but i wish. anyways i was bored, and it was Saturday so i thought i could call nick to have him come over so we could hangout , because if i saw chris, this whole " getting over him " thing would go right back to stage one. i got out my phone and pulled up nicks contact to invite him to come over , because ill be damned if all a bitch does is watch netflix alone on a saturday night.

iMessage

twin 💗 - nick

me - (you obv) 😭

me

NICKKK

i miss you sm

can you come over pls

i wanna hangout

twin 💗

TWIN I MISS YOUUU

I would but matt isn't here

so there isn't anyone to drive me

you can come over here thoooo

fuck. i tossed my phone to the side and let out a loud sigh , why can't anything work out in my favor ?? i picked up my phone and texted back nick.

me

well maybe you should get a license 😒

IM JUST KIDDINGGGG

twin 💗

Shut up bitch

you don't have one either

now come onnn

you can see ur man 😱

me

i hate you

im omw

twin 💗

😘

i texted my older brother and asked him if he could take me to nicks, which i didn't want to because he was at work and i didnt wanna wait but, oh well. he said he'd take me and so about an hour later he came home and told me he was waiting outside.

i threw on whatever, not really caring considering the fact i thought i was going to be in nicks room the entire time i was there. i put on blue plaid pajama pants and a black crop top with an oversized grey jacket, and some random slippers.

i packed my bag and ran outside, thanking him for the ride. a few minutes later i was at the sturniolos house.

i knocked on the door expecting nick, but of fucking course , it was chris.

" um hey." i said awkwardly, looking down at him.

"hey pretty. nicks in his room" he replied and opened the door further for me to walk in. i brushed past him and accidentally got a little too close. like i touched his dick type of too close.

i heard him groan silently as i walked past, making my way to nicks room.

fast forward a few hours , me and nick were watching a movie when he passed out.

i was gonna go and hangout with matt, but then i remembered he still wasn't back yet from wherever the fuck he was at, so with nothing else to do, i just decided to go to sleep right alongside nick.

i remember randomly waking up around 2AM for no reason but feeling hungry, so i made my way to the kitchen and got a freezer meal or wtv tf

i heat it up in the microwave and while i'm waiting , i decide to just get comfortable and lean on the counter while i scroll on my phone.

i'm about to shut off my phone when i hear something "nick?" i whisper shouted because i was slightly startled by the noise

there was no answer , i just shrug my shoulders and continue scrolling on my phone, when i suddenly feel two warm hands on my waist.

i jumped but not enough to move, i turn around to chris with his hands resting on my waist , looking at me with an indescribable look.

"what..are you doing?" i said flustered, turning my head to look at him , but again not enough to move our bodies any further apart.

"nothing..just can't sleep." he replied

god , his sleepy voice was literally going to make me bust.

" okay.." i say confused and go back to scrolling on my phone. i feel him rest his head on shoulder

" what are you watching "

" just t.." my voice trailed off as i realized i could feel that he had a big ass boner, and he was wearing only sweatpants

i struggled to get my words out because of the situation i was in, so i just ignored the question.

i felt him smirk and her closer to me, him getting more hard the closer he gets, with his hands still on my waist.

"what..you like the way this feels mama?" he says slipping his hands down into the front of my pants, but not fully.

“i.." i could barley speak due to the uncontrollable amount of flips my stomach was doing

"use your words ma." he says getting closer to me, his boner now fully on my ass

i'm gonna bust was literally my thought process. i was nervous, but of course im gonna do what he tells to.

"yea.." i say now slightly arching my back

he turns me to face him, so now im leaning against the counter and facing chris.

he takes one of his hands and guides it up to my face, "do you really."

"yeah" i let out a breathy moan and he smirks leaning closer to me, holy shit. no way this is happening.

he kisses me and i kiss him, he moves his hand down to my neck as we make out, the kiss turns into a sloppy make out, and he picks me up and i wrap my legs around him, he sets me on the counter so im perfectly aligned with his waist, as we're still making out

he starts leaving kisses on my neck and i grab his hair as he does so, leaving a trail of hickeys.

“ fuck " i slightly whisper , this felt so good.

he stopped for a moment before placing one hand on my waist and the other in my pants

" you ready ?" i nodded desperately, not being able to use my words because of how badly i needed him.

he stuck two fingers inside of me and i grabbed onto the back of his shirt in pleasure

" damn ma your so wet ..all for me? how long have you been waiting for this mama "

i nodded, physically not being able to speak because of how good his fingers felt inside me.

“ use your words. how long. " he demanded , grabbing my chin making me look him in the eyes

i paused, not wanting to me too loud. " damn ma, you like how i touch you that much you can't speak ?"

" t..two years " i struggled to push out those simple words. this man knew what he was doing with his hands.

" come on baby, if you were horny you could've told me. i would've helped you with ease. " he said, stopping for a second

" i didn't think you were into me. " i admitted

" really? i thought it was obvious. everytime you came over to see nick i would get hard just looking at you..i've been waiting for this moment a while to ma. "

he moved his fingers in and out of me again without warning, and i moaned a little too loud.

"watch your volume pretty girl..i'd hate for me to have to stop cause you couldn't control yourself "

i nodded agreeably, and trust me when i listened. i'd waited for this moment almost 2 years , i wasn't gonna let anything ruin it.

his fingers continued to move in and out of me at a rapid pace for another 2 minutes , and i felt myself start to get close

"chris...i'm close" that's when he took his fingers out of me and i caught my breath for a moment.

he took his dick out of his pants and it sprung out instantly. when i looked down, my jaw dropped.

he was easily a good 9 inches, and that was just a guess. i'm so screwed.

he stroked himself and laughed when he saw the look of surprise on my face. " what ? all your other little boyfriends had a small cock ?" he teased

i pulled my pants down further so chris had easier access. he got closer, until our noses were basically touching. "you ready ma" i nodded eagerly , because of how close we were, i felt his cock literally in between my thighs. " yes, yes i am just please fuck me " he smirked and put one of his hands on my waist , the other holding his dick. "you sure?" he asked me again, me giving the same answer.

and with that, he shoved in only 7 inches , just to see if i could take him or not. i gasped but covered my mouth because i remember what he said about keeping quiet.

" good girl " he smirked at me again, then shoving the entire 9 inches in me. i put my hands under his shirt, leaving scratches all down his back

" fuck mama..your so tight" he said pausing in between sentences

i could barley speak, but i wanted more. i managed to get two words out , "faster..please" i begged

" more already? alright ma..."

he thrusted in and out of me even faster than before, about a minute goes by before i felt that knot build up in my stomach.

" chris.." i paused before my next sentence, remembering that i had to be quiet "im close."

“ not yet pretty girl.. please- mmm fuck you feel so good. "

i giggled slightly, before telling him how we should switch positions if he didn't want me to finish so soon.

" you got it mama. " and with that, he took me off of the counter and set me down, bending me over the counter instead.

he grabs my hips and lines me up, " you ready? you know i just gotta ask" he asks

i could feel his tip touching me, he was definitely teasing. well if he wants to tease..i can do it to.

"hm not yet..i need to catch my breath" i teased and move my waist slightly, feeling his tip against me

" how bout now?" he asks eagerly

"i don't know .." i answer, he's like a needy child , how cute

" mama please ..i need you so bad. "

" im ready " and with that he slams his entire 9 inch dick inside of me , going faster than before

" you think it's funny for you to tease me ? is it because you know you take me so well ?"

his sleepy voice..fuck.

" fuck..sorry" i say , i couldn't even think cause he was fucking me so good.

he grabbed my neck from behind and thrusted faster , that's when i knew i was close.

" chris , i cant ..im gonna-" im cut off by my release , letting it all go , and man i came hard.

“i’m almost there ma...in or out"

i mean, i was on the pill. " in , cum inside me please."

" mm..you got it pretty " he releases , and i feel his warm cum inside me , best feeling ever btw.

now we're both just leaning against the counter , heavy breathing, sweaty, looking at each other " you took me so good mama."

this man was really tryna make me nut for a 2nd time huh..i grabbed the food id forgotten about out of the microwave and made my way back to nicks room.

" goodnight chris. " i say with a smirk " goodnight ma." he says smirking back at me

a/n: umm !! don’t know if i like this but i have something coming soon for the matt girlies 🤗

[prettyinpunk]

a ridiculously detailed catalogue of matt's guitars for my show*! aka a collection for people who have maybe an unhealthy obsession with Manson guitars

*4/14/23; in order of how excited i was to see them! this isn't necessarily a ranking of how cool i think these guitars are! this ranking is based purely on the amount of deadly chemicals released by my brain upon seeing them.

#10 Matt Black FR(Matt Black Whammy)/Chrome FR(Chrome Whammy)

i'm pairing them first since they're almost identical in build(though the MBFR is in drop D) and i was expecting to see both of them/have seen them used in past shows :)

Chrome Whammy also gets used the most in this era and both of them have given me so much grief when trying to identify these guitars. the dark chrome finish looks SO much like the Matt Black FR under certain stage lighting and it's nearly impossible to tell them apart by hardware, there've been so many times when i confidently think oh hey he's using the Matt Black Whammy but no its Chrome FR. and vice versa. even at certain points during the actual concert i was second guessing myself, they make me feel delusional.

used for: MBFR: Psycho; Chrome Whammy: WOTP, (Interlude)Hysteria, Compliance, Thought Contagion, KOC

#9 Matt Black 3.0

i was excited to see her with visible wear and tear from the obvious, so much so that i specifically took a picture of the broken headstock foregoing any attempt at pretending matt was supposed to be the subject of the picture.

used for: WAFF

#8 M1D1 Stealth

even knowing i would see her, i just got so excited about the kaoss pad. as one does. its a special little joy to see hardware thats so uniquely Muse. like in what other performance are you going to get to see a kaoss pad in a guitar(or bass)!

this picture is a screenshot from my video because ngl most of my image capture for SBH was spent filming dom. for a friend.

used for: SBH

#7 MB-1 Blue(Blue Steel/Blue Beast)

i just think she's sooooo pretty, the blue is such a beautifully rich shade and i love the gloss finish, as much as i love the play on "matt" with the matte guitars, i'm weak to pretty shiny things. it was also so exciting to see her because i really wanted them to play Resistance and when i saw matt with the MB-1 Blue i knew they were going to! (barring the fact that they were alternating every night and i knew that night it was Resistance's turn, for some reason i was still worried we wouldn't get it lmao) i did accidentally call her Bluebell at the time though. which i don't think has been used at all this tour(🥲).

TIRO, Resistance, Madness

#6 Oryx

somehow i neglected to take a picture of her specifically??? i'm really kicking myself because i didn't get any closeups during WSD or KOBK but the whole time i was holding my tongue from talking about her during the show 😭 because who in their right mind wants to hear some random screaming fan yelling about how the Oryx is matt's first Manson with 24 frets during the show 💀 i did get to see him use it earlier this year at my last Muse show which is why i've put it before my #5. but she is so unique and interesting, there are so many cool fun facts about her! i don't know how i didn't get a good shot, i was probably too busy headbanging.

i did get this pretty cool picture from KOBK though 🥲

used for: WSD, KOBK

#5 MB-S Prototype(Verona Sky)

to finish off the trifecta of newbies(2022/2023 additions, barring remodels)! suuuuch a beauty and makes watching Verona just that much more magical! a brand new Manson special for the WOTP era for the most tender moments of the show <3. both Verona and TDS instrumental have a dreamlike energy live, which to me is elevated by the MB-S in her beautiful sunburst orange and strat-style shape. matt was pretty far from us while perched on will's shoulder so i didn't get a great pic of it but i tried! its just such a gentle, almost pensive little moment in the set between two heavy bangers(WAFF/SBH) which i love, it feels oddly intimate in spite of being in a full arena as matt coaxes each note out of the MB-S and it echoes into the open space.

here she is pre and post-confetti shower(she did not come through unscathed)!

used for: Verona, TDS(AR)

#4 Red Alert

since there are three red guitars in use for Uprising this tour, i really didn't know which one we were going to get! the last time i saw them in january, matt used the MA EVO Sustainiac Satin Fire Red, which is fun, but like the other Fire Red, has a matt(e) finish. i was really hoping we would get to see Red Alert and we did!!! she looks like cherry candy i need to take a bite. uh, that is to say. she's very pretty and my eyes sparkle in her presence. and she has a special name which is always important to me. i wouldn't say Red Alert ranks higher than some of the other beauties on this list in terms of how cool i think they are, but since there wasn't a guarantee we'd get to see it, it ranks highly here!

used for: Uprising

#3 Mirror 2.0

notoriously a nightmare to get a good picture of live, what with the whole... mirror finish and all, here she is!! our beloved veteran of the lineup, Mirror Manson <3. what a joy to see her, even though she's not the original. i couldn't confirm which Mirror he was using at the time since they're almost identical, but the fuzz factory knobs are slightly further apart than the OG, and 2.0 is fit with a MBK-1 on the bridge rather than the original Mississippi Queen P90s. not sure if Chrome Fuzz is in the rig for this leg, but theoretically she also had potential to be used here in place of the Mirror, so another happy slight surprise there for Mirror enjoyers. it really is another special little joy to see and hear Plug in Baby with such an iconic guitar, and especially when we get to play call and response with the fuzz factory!

used for: PIB

#2 Chrome Whammy 2.0

now i know it seems like an odd choice to put her here especially considering i had Chrome FR as my #10, but let me explain.

YMMFLIH is one of my favorites on WOTP so as it is, i was already losing it from the moment matt sat down to play the intro(WHICH IM CRAZY ABOUT). about halfway through the second verse, i regained enough mental consciousness to realize matt was using the new Manson Origin Etch pickups on the bridge!!! this was a huge surprise since MuseWiki isn't updated and i had been totally drooling over the pickups on instagram for weeks(months??)(<- still has never touched an electric guitar) so getting to see them in person and being used on stage was SO EXCITING!!! unfortunately by the time i realized, i wasn't able to get a clear picture of the bridge since matt was playing the final chorus. thus began the search for my new white whale.

after the concert, i scoured my pictures and videos for a shot of it, confident that i saw it during Halloween and on the Chrome Whammy. i looked at every picture i had, but found that all my pictures of the Chrome Whammy just had the MBK-2 humbucker on the bridge, so i thought maybe i made my usual mistake and thought it was Chrome when it was actually Matt Black. i checked my pictures of her too and it was the same so at that point i felt like i was going completely mental. i checked every video and picture from the Muse instagram with manic obsession and could only find a tiny glimpse of it in one of the mini clips from a concert reel.

i went back to MuseWiki to see if i could find it there and thats when i realized. it wasn't Chrome Whammy. it was Chrome Whammy 2.0.

live reaction to this realization:

in hindsight i should've realized the guitar matt was using for Halloween had a humbucker on the neck instead of a single coil Sustainiac which is a dead giveaway, hence the above reaction. the problem still remained though, i had no photographic evidence. though MuseWiki reminded me it was 2.0, it still says the bridge is a MBK-2 and the pictures remain un-updated. i had confirmed for now that i was not delusional, but i still didn't have a picture and i wanted so desperately to talk about it. but then my savior appeared right under my nose. my dear friend @domwhoreward found this picture from one of her shows and i was FINALLY VINDICATED!!! HERE SHE IS IN ALL HER GLORY!!!

used for: YMMFLIH

anyway. that brings us to...

#1 HOLOFLAKE MY BELOVED

words cannot describe how absolutely insane i went when i saw her!!! Holoflake is my favorite guitar currently in use(though it's very close with the Black 7-String 2.0), i just love the glittery, glossy black finish so much, it's so pretty!! not only that, but the only song it's being used for this tour is MOTP, the one song i wanted to hear MOST out of all the songs on rotation and one of my favorite muse songs of all time!! it was such a personal moment for me because if they hadn't played MOTP, we wouldn't have gotten to see Holoflake at all. this was my most special moment from my show, i think the guy next to me probably wished i was dead though. this is once again a screenshot of my video since i spent most of it in a manic panic screaming crying and throwing up. its a miracle i was even still alive after that. or anyone within a 5ft radius.

used for: MOTP <3

[numbknee]

I posted 481 times in 2022

That's 480 more posts than 2021!

31 posts created (6%)

450 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@victimized-martyr

@wxtchofthewxlds

@moondiamonddust

@sunny-cyrus

@angryushankas

I tagged 324 of my posts in 2022

Only 33% of my posts had no tags

#kyman - 11 posts

#no thoughts only kyman - 9 posts

#ask - 9 posts

#kyman-core - 9 posts

#anon - 7 posts

#sp kyman - 5 posts

#south park - 4 posts

#numbknee writes - 3 posts

#screaming crying throwing up - 3 posts

#i am looking 👀👀👀👀 - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#he’s like ‘no one wants to hear us talk for 20 mins straight’ like uh sir???? yes we do???? that’s why we are listening to the commentary!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

just had a vision of cartman singing heart boner by nsp to kyle at their wedding and beforehand he’s like “this is a song by a beautiful Jew... but not nearly as beautiful as THE JEW I JUST MARRIED!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU KYLE” and then he belts it out with his beautiful tenor voice and fucking kills the performance. many in attendance are scandalized by the crude lyrics, though most people there are either confused or laughing their asses off. it’s also a weirdly touching song and kyle loves it asdjfkldsjf. stan is already drunk by that point in the night so he actually tears up a little when cartman hits the long high note and kenny pisses himself from laughing too hard

33 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#4

HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KYMANS?? please I beg u…. this fic is making me insane I need someone to share my suffering

anyway here have some out-of-context memes from the fic under the cut:

chapter 1:

See the full post

47 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

#3

a big part of the reason why I like the idea of cartman being a sub is because it’s SOOO MUCH FUNNIER than him being a dom!!

like here’s this selfish, cruel, horribly bigoted kid who has fucking MURDERED people and is the worst piece of shit on the planet.... but what he secretly wants more than anything in the world is for someone to bend him over a table, yank his hair, call him a slut, and fuck his brains out ajfkldsjfksldjf. it’s the same reason why I loved rabbi cartman in post-covid, because him converting and becoming more involved in the jewish faith than kyle after years of spewing antisemitic bullshit is fucking hilarious compared to like... generic mean CEO cartman

and this counts double in the context of a potential relationship with kyle!! it’s WAY more interesting that he’d want the kid he’s bullied relentlessly do those things to him because he has a secret giant crush on him, all while in complete denial and putting up a sadistic front to cope. it’s completely within his character to play those sort of mind games with himself. 

in the sp documentary “six days to air” trey parker’s main piece of writing advice is to replace ‘ands’ with ‘buts’ or ‘therefores’ because that makes for a better story. so like, “cartman is antisemetic BUT he actually has a crush on kyle. cartman appears to be a sadist BUT he’s secretly a masochist, BUT he’s ashamed of that fact, THEREFORE he puts on a huge front and plays mind games with himself to cover up his true more shameful desires” is more interesting than “cartman is cruel and antisemitic and enjoys hurting people and is a dom” since the only ‘but’ in that scenario is that he’s antisemitic but he likes kyle.

tl;dr cartman is a sub. fight me

57 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

#2

this clip’s been floating around on tumblr recently and matt’s acting made kyle sound SO GODDAMN CUTE, I wanted to see how it sounded with his adult/actual voice lol. the last 20 seconds especially make my heart melt 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

61 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i feel like i’m going fucking insane I was rewatching ‘night of the living homeless’ and there’s that scene of the boys escaping a house and kyle takes cartman’s hands and pulls him up to the vent and my brain just goes

like it was such a minor interaction but at this point my shipping goggles are GLUED to my FUCKING FACE 😭

79 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

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