#literally funniest thing ive ever seen i do not even care

[aleclightofmylifewoodbane]

STOP I JUST FOUND THE FUCKING FUNNIEST VIDEO 😭😭

im sorry this is so funny. matt panicked so hard

[ssparksflyy]

Hi, I just saw that request are open so can you do a boyfriend headcanon with Jason Grace please?

ask and thou shall recieve ༉‧₊˚.

jason grace dating hcs! ✮⋆˙ pairing : jason grace x gn!reader warning(s) : none ♡ an : tysm for ur request <3! hope u enjoy thisss! also why the heck did it take me 20 mins to make that little pic collab bcs nothing was matching so i js went 'screw it' anyway, enjoy!

jason grace how i love you my sweet golden retriever boyfriend

im not even lying though

ive got a golden and she's very affectionate and he'd literally be the same

absolutely loves being around you 24/7, 365

ive seen some people say jason is like kinda tense, like he was raised to be a fighter, his guard is always up, and like he builds just a few walls to keep himself safe

but nahh best believe those walls are comin right down for you

he's only himself when he's with you !!

he literally feels so comfortable and trusts you with his life

definitely tells you EVERYTHING

not gonna lie i think jason is chismoso asf

( gossiper , nosy )

BUT LIKE secretively

like people think he doesnt care or isnt listening so they just gossip all care free when he's around cause they think he wont tell anybody

but in reality he's super invested

so like after a long day when your cuddled up in the zeus cabin he's not only telling you about his day but also updating you on the drama he's found out about

NOW I KNOW that may seem ooc, but im telling you, the walls are coming DOWN

jason literally adores it when you play with his hair

like it really just calms him down, especially after a rough day

bro just melts 🫠

i think jason is like in between with pda

yes of course he loves holding your hand and hugging you

but theres definitely a difference from when youre around people and when youre alone

dont know if that came out wrong

but he just feels more comfortable when its just you two

speaking of hand holding

he's literally a hand holding king

its literally just a habit at this point

i feel like he's a hands interlocked kinda guy

like hes just walks up to you, gives you a big ol smile ofc, and plop, slips his fingers in between yours. just like that. super casual about it.

OH MY GOD IF YOU WEAR GLASSES

he literally intentionally makes you bump glasses when youre kissing

dont know if that made sense i dont wear glasses

but he thinks its the funniest thing ever and laughs every time

lemme tell you somethin

literally even before you started dating

you haven't opened a single door while jason's around

even if youre like about to reach the door and he's a few feet away he'll literally sprint captain-america-on-your-left style to open the door for you

and then stands there looking stupid after you give him a kiss on his cheek

never fails to be left absolutely dumbfounded after you kiss him

which is probably why he isnt the biggest on pda

he knows he'll never be allowed to forget how stupid he looks

HE LOVES SLEEPOVERS

winkity wonkty

but actually he makes them so much fun

starts a pillow fight but loses

A SUCKER for karaoke

nah cause why do i think he'd be like "omg lets play spin the bottle" and youre just like "jason.. it's only me and you" and hes all like "your point??"

always ends his night with cuddles

youre literally his personal teddy bear sorry not sorry

not gonna lie i don't think jason's a jewelry fella

but get this

matching converse

they dont even have to be converse they can literally be any shoes

i just like converse

you guys got them custom made and everything ouuuu

even though he doesn't seem like he'd be too big on jewelry i feel like he has a silver necklace with your initials on it

i want to wear his initial on his chain round my neck not because he owns me but cause he really knows me

he's always wearing it, whether its like under his shirt (CLOSER TO HIS HEARTTTT) or over it and shining proudly

definitely has a playlist just titled '(name)' with a heart and its just a bunch of love songs that remind him of you ♡

he's literally so in love and makes sure you know that multiple times a day

where can i get me a jason grace :(

[quodekash]

CONTINUING EPISODE 5

sorry bro, she's into women

which is totally fair, have you SEEN women????

she's AGGRESSIVELY trying to communicate her love of women with him

HES SO JEALOUS THIS IS HILARIOUS

(its reminding me of sound getting really angry when pat suggests that tiw might like win)

(I PHYSICALLY CANNOT STOP TALKING ABOUT THE SATANG AND PERTH SIBLINGS AGENDA, IM SORRY (im not sorry))

IT'S SO CUTE OH MY GOSH

I LOVE

LMAO

NICE ONE

OML

IM WHEEZING

I THINK HE DREW HIM AS HANDSOME SQUIDWARD

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN

IM DYING

THE RESEMBLANCE IS UNCANNY

OML ITS 1 IN THE MORNING I NEED TO BE QUIET AND NOT WAKE EVERYONE UP BUT IM LAUGHING SO HARD

it's been over three minutes straight of me just laughing at this

im losing my mind

EVERY TIME I THINK IVE CALMED DOWN, I OPEN UP THE YOUTUBE TAB AGAIN, AND THEN IT BRINGS ANOTHER BURST OF LAUGHTER

I quite literally laughed about the handsome squidward drawing for nearly 5 whole minutes

OH MY GOODNESS

AND HE GETS A BASKETBALL THROWN AT HIM????

ARE WE ABOUT TO GET GUYNAWA CONTENT AS WELL???

WHEN I THOUGHT THIS EPISODE COULDNT GET ANY BETTER OMG

THEY ARE FLIRTING

TAKE NOTES, GUYS, THIS IS FLIRTING

i... have never been flirted with before. nor have I ever flirted with someone before. (at least to my knowledge)

BUT THEYRE FLIRTING GUYS THYERE FLIRTING

oh you wanna make out with him so bad

THEYRE FLIRTING SO HARD

THEYRE JUST TRYNA GET EACH OTHER'S ATTENTION

JUST MAKE OUT GUYS, ITLL BE A MORE PRODUCTIVE USE OF YOUR TIME

PO4ENKWGOPILVJWENJKGSVOJW3E4HIBSJGJPOINVOP4JWEOPINSGD

THEY SHOOK HANDS

THEIR HANDS ARE HOLDING EACH OTHER

ALSO: THEY HAVE TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER FOR AT LEAST A WHILE

AND THEN THEYRE GONNA GET USED TO BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER WITH THE FRIENDLY BANTER THROWN IN THERE FOR SPICE

AND THEN THEYRE GONNA MAKE OUT OR SMTH

WOAH

W O A H

WOAH BUDDY

I COULD FEEL THE SEXUAL TENSION OF THAT THROUGH THE SCREEN

they just need to slap their bodies against each other (clothes optional)

THE HEAD TILT

HES SO ATTENTIVE

LOOK AT THE LONGING LOVING STARE

I have no idea who this is.

but I am very much in love with her

the amount that he cares about him is literally insane and its making me insane

THE LOCKS

OH MY GOODNESS

aw nooo sailom is sad bc he knows kang likes pimfah :(

WHAT DOES HE NEED TO DO

IS HE GONNA PUT UP HIS OWN LOCK???

IS HE GONNA PUT UP HIS OWN LOCK AND ITLL BE LIKE LOCKED WITH SAILOMS OR SMTH?????

OMG OR MAYBE

MAYBE HE'S GONNA TRIP OVER IN THE ENGINEERING SQUARE THINGY

oh :(

but the sad piano music is playing and its showing sailom's face

im wanting to think that sailom's gonna turn around bc he's sad, and as soon as he starts walking away, kang's gonna suddenly have a realisation and he'll change his mind and he'll put the lock with sailom's, but im definitely delusional

what.

hang on

im so confused right now

she... likes sailom?

what?????

I-

wh

what????

I wasn't expecting a love triangle like this???

IM LITERALLY SO CONFUSED WHAT IS GOING ON

GIVE ME ANSWERS BITCH

dude.

DUDE.

D U D E

THE WAY THAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM RN??????

ITS MAKING ME EVEN MORE CONFUSED

D U D E

YOU'RE FOCUSSING SO MUCH ON HIS LIPS THERE HAD TO BE A ZOOM IN SHOT

THERE IS NO HETERO EXPLANATION

I WAS SO SURE KANG WOULD REALISE HIS FEELINGS TODAY BUT ITS JUST GOTTEN SO BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE EXCEPT HIM

O K A Y

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY

OKAY

ITS ALL GOOD

THANK GOODNESS

SO HE'S GONNA *PROPERLY* REALISE HIS FEELINGS NEXT WEEK AND HES GONNA DANCE AROUND TELLING HIM FOR THE ENTIRE EPISODE AND THEN THEYRE GONNA KISS AT THE END GJREKDBG I CANT WAIT

im so proud of myself for being right about that. I predicted that they're gonna kiss next week. im so freaking awesome

in other news: I am not okay

IN OTHER OTHER NEWS: IT'S ONLY 1:45AM TODAY AND IVE ALREADY FINISHED, IM DOING BETTER THAN I DID LAST WEEK

goodnight folks, and keep breathing drts

peace out ✌️

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

hey its time for episode 4

starting off with one of the funniest fucking scenes in this whole show with suletta just fucking hauling ass right out of there after guel just surprise proposes to her

just want to juxtapose this with her wild feelings speech in 17 about buying rings and wearing the prettiest dresses

this shot just reminded me of a random detail from the manual for chuchu's demi trainer - it says earth house can't afford their own demi trainers so chuchu's is a modified older version because thats the best they could do.

suletta pilots a demi trainer during the whole field test thing so like... does she own or have a demi trainer loaned out for school use or something? i honestly forgot chuchu pilots her own suit in this scene cuz i had just accepted that the demi trainers for practical exams etc were like just there for the students to use whenever

i know this was like probably the easier way to write suletta becoming friends with earth house but lmao why didnt she just ask miorine from the start to help for the makeup exam. baka suletta.

suletta please.

till will forever go down as bestboy in the series tbh. like someone needs to write a fic where he wingmans for suletta while nika does it for miorine

suletta, you naive little baby

there really was absolutely no reason for miorine to get all handsy and possessive here lmao like she could just stood infront of suletta or even right next to her and still had the same confrontation and warning about the other houses being bad news

the 2nd light novel picking up from here and highlighting miorine's jealousy over el4n during this whole arc is perfect lmao

kinda fun to speculate on how suletta saw miorine during the beginning. like she was completely surprised miorine didnt belong to a house. suletta's so awkward and socially inept she couldnt tell she was dealing with the one other person at school who was equally socially inept

i feel like there's a lot of frames i never paused on to read like this one lol. i never realized suletta got so many questions wrong. well "wrong" cuz reading through her answers it almost sounds like she just didnt give the benerit group approved answers lmao kinda like when you get stupid training stuff at work and they're just chockful of anti-union propaganda

never forget the first time we saw miorine's room

i know so many people don't really care about the class conflict in ad stella, but god, i wish they really hadnt dropped the ball on this. like in the 1st cour they had something really good here

obligatory shot of chuchu's dads

miorine rembran will not let anyone insult her woman

does anyone know what this gold gate/door thing was supposed to be? after the second school shooting, there's a shot shown where it's the only thing left standing in that area and i dont think ive ever seen anyone talk about it before

see like even this is good re: class politics. like its not this cut and dry all spacians are evil capitalists thing. mercurian miners were pretty much lured out by the benerit group to be exploited for their labor and then left to dry once a cheaper source for permet was found. bless the fic writers who've turned that into appalachian town suletta because it's such a perfect analogy

suletta mercury literally got decked in the face and we all just focused on the chuchu punch

imagine miorine sitting with her in her room just helping her ice her face

by the way how excited do you think suletta was to call someone senpai just like in her fair use mangas lmao

ok all set with episode 4. ive gotta say, it is super jarring to go back to these slice of life school episodes after everything we've been through in the second cours. like yeah that was kind of the point in having the first half of the series have pretty much no stakes since these kids are about to be thrown into war

you know for all the complaining a lot of losers did when the show started about this not being a "real" gundam series, the only difference between watching suletta's journey versus say amuro's... is that we got to see suletta's life before everything got wrecked. with amuro we just immediately start off at the point where Everything Goes Bad

[yuukei-yikes]

can i just say im obsessed with ur brand of shinaya. genuinely horrible and pathetic guy who is so pathetically in love x girl who is deranged enough to love him back. ur harutaka is the gayest straight couple ever but ur shinaya is the most homophobic gay straight couple ive ever seen

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST ASK IVE EVER GOTTEN also thank god an ask in my kageblog i can talk yes yes yes yes YES YESSS dude i NEED to talk about my blorbos

Bro in all honesty i ship shinaya in a good day. or bad day. it depends on how u feel about it to say if its a good or bad day. my shinaya headcanon is they date on and off and whether they do end up together or not depends on how i am feeling that day 💗 shinaya is kind of an awful trope but out of nostalgia and love for the characters i still ship it. shintaro and ayano post str going through the messiest breakup ever that distances them (but still see each other bc they literally have all the same friends) but when they find they way to each other again as more mature people they end up together again OR stay close friends. i like both.

but in the brand of dating shinaya regardless whether they end up together or not, they care for each other nonetheless. and my favorite thing to have fun with is their messy fresh off the daze dating bc they spent NO time healing/talking/etc and its a nightmare to everyone. literally that couple fighting and everyone being like Ok were leaving now and them being like NO!!!! WE ARE NOT FIGHTING STAY THERE!!!!!! and shinaya is so good bc u can twist the trope of Asshole x Angel into Guy who has it coming x Weird girl. shintaro being the one to constantly reject ayano. ayano never stopping to think why she even likes him or insists on being with him, and when she does and She Leaves Him and that makes shintaro spiral into the role of Desperately Trying To Get Her Attention Back in a pathetic role swap. idk. god i fucking love/hate shinaya theyre so fun to play with. and since im a harutaka4life of course theyre along for this awful fucking ride they didnt want tickets for but they have to be constantly there for their friends😭 i also think takane would be like sort of intertwined in at least 1 of the many shinaya problems (and therefore also a harutaka relationship problem though probably the only one LOL) bc shintaro and takane are completely codependent Post str because i fucking say so and ayano in her lack of therapy and obsession with being shintaros girlfriend is jealous shintaro isnt vulnerable with her but he is with takane (with harutaka the problem is rather takane will drop EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING if shintaro needs anything, cancelling on haruka if necessary just to go find shintaros wallet or something and haruka is like Lol this is fine and normal *will explode at any moment*) man dont get me STARTED on the shintaro and takane Ene Aftermath Codependency (i say as i already started) ummm *chews the yuukei quartet like gum* theyre my dolls i play with and you can play too but you have to follow my rules otherwise ill ask my mom to ask ur mom to pick u up :/

[robertsbarbie]

i forgot to tell yall tucker did the FUNNIEST thing ive ever seen today and i was trying so hard not to laugh because it would’ve made my niece cry

background context: i don’t really talk all that much on here about this because it’s so mundane and not really relevant to anything but tucker is quiet genuinely the most docile, sweetest dog anyone will ever meet, even for a golden retriever. and this is not an exaggeration even if it sounds like it, he just is the king of empathy and not giving a fuck. he will immediately go up to anyone crying in order to comfort them, he will never yelp in pain even if you accidentally hurt him he will either ignore it or lightly move the part of his body away that the potential injury was inflicted on, the only time he ever comes *close* to snapping is with my sister’s dog (a maltepoo literally a quarter of his size) and that’s only when her dog is climbing on top of him and ignoring the head nods to get him off so just remember all of this

that brings us to today where my niece is in town and OBSESSED with tucker (makes sense she’s 3 and he’s fluffy) and as such she will not leave him alone, but she is also very much three and doesn’t really understand the concept of hurting things yet or being too rough** because she’s learning about the world. and so tucker has been a real champ these last few days sitting still while she pets him and squeezes his cheeks and points her wand at him and shrieks with glee at him when he’s usually just used to hanging out with only me, but since tucker does not react to anything he lets her do anything to him including dress him up like a princess…. now the crown really wasn’t an issue cause it was very similar to a dog hat and did not constrict him in anyway however there was a beaded bracelet in this dress up set and my niece wanted tucker to be pretty so she worked very hard to put it on his paw

now most of his toys are ring toys, i will sometimes put my hair tie on his paw, i hold his paws, he wears booties in the winter he is very used to things being on his paw. he is also again very calm and very gentle so typically if there is something on him he does not enjoy he’ll slowly, softly paw it off. that was not the case with this bracelet. he fully let her put it on him, sniffed it and ignored it while she sat with him

but then

she got up and ran to the living room and i finally understood seeing something happen in slow motion because as she was running in i was standing up to go get the bracelet and watched helplessly as he hooked the bottom of his mouth around the bracelet and literally as i uttered “Tucker NO—“ he lifted his head and shattered the bracelet fully on purpose. didn’t do his usual attempt to remove it, didn’t chew on it just lifted his head, snap, beads went everywhere and he walked away as if it never happened. and i genuinely thought it was so funny and like a scene out of a movie. and i wish i was recording because i really don’t think this text story does the imagery of it justice, just up and snapped and walked away without a care in the world didn’t try to eat the beads or steal the bracelet string he had just reached his limit

this was so dumb i just can’t stop thinking about it and needed to overshare on the oversharer website

**also a note me and my brother would never let her hurt him she is LEARNING control skills but it’s a process and we always step in before she would potentially hurt him and if an action has any mal intent on her behalf she has to apologize to tucker. we are not just letting her terrorize him i promise

[dunnswrld]

could you do johnny with a playmate!reader? i feel like he would be her biggest fan ever omg-

im so happy im not the only one who has thought of this-

he would eat this up for breakfast, lunch, dinner, AND dessert.

johnny would be so in love with the idea that you’re a playmate, i mean wasn’t every little boys dream at some point to date a real like playboy bunny?

there was something about you being basically a sex symbol to millions of people but you were only his. no one elses. no matter how many guys bought your posters, magazines, and shirts with you on them you were only his. he just loved the fact that so many people wanted you but you were his pretty smoking hot girlfriend.

and when word first got spread you two had a thing going on the press only seemed to focus on it for weeks, you and johnny on the face pf many celebrity gossip magazines. johnny couldn’t help but feel cocky when he saw the headline, “famous playboy bunny yn yl secretly hooking up with jackass star johnny knoxville?!” plastered on every magazine in his grocery store for weeks.

dont even get him started on those interviews.

“johnny it’s rumored you’re dating model and playmate yn yl, is the rumor true?”

“why don’t you ask her next time you see her about reverse cowgirl and see how flustered she gets. maybe that’ll answer your question.”

ugh he would love taking you out on dates, like adore it. his favorite thing to do is take you out to eat or even just for coffee. he loves sitting across from you at whatever table your at because he can really look at your face and remind himself how pretty you really are.

he loves walking down the street with you hand-in-hand with a big smile on his face while he makes you laugh with some stupid joke he told. or possibly the other way around and your

he also totally teases you when he finds one of your playboy magazines in the store.

“yn is this you?! i didnt know you were so dirty- oh my god! you have your ta-ta’s out in this one!”

“johnny shut up we are in a gas station! everyone can hear you!”

speaking of your magazines he would have every single one you were in, if you were on the cover you better believe he has a protective sleeve on it and had his favorite cover you were on possibly even framed. but if you are only on a page or two you best believe johnny had ripped the pages out and the rest of the magazine is discarded or given to steve-o.

but he loves you so much and thinks you’re just the sweetest thing ever, he doesn’t care about all those brain dead assholes (as he calls it) that call you disgusting names because you model for playboy and expose some skin or say that you’ll never find true love because you’re hyper-sexual. it totally breaks his heart when those comments get to you :(

“johnny?”

“yeah sweeheart?”

“i know this maybe stupid but you’re not only with me cause i do playboy right?”

“yn- sweetheart- no not at all. i love you because you are you. you’re the kindest, funniest, easiest going, and prettiest girl ive ever seen. you being a playmate- or whatever its called- is only a plus to dating you. i would never use you for that sweetheart.”

he’s literally just the most supportive and sweetest boyfriend ever!!!!

[jangofctts]

omg I just read so much of your writing and I’m 🥺🥰🥲🥵 the absolute royalty shit that we see here today. i’ve recently discovered I am very into ~thigh riding~ so do u have any thots on how our boys (especially our clone babes) feel about it? much obliged

IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL DAY KEJHKJRH SO HERE YOU GO OMG

boba: yEs--boba absolutely adORES when you crawl into his lap and straddle his thigh. he’ll either pat his lap and invite you up or it’s one of those times when he’s intentionally ignoring you and you have force your way onto his lap so he has to pay attention. imo the first time you ride his thigh you weren't intending to, you wanted to fuck him but with boba, if you want something from him he’s gonna do it his way or twist it into something to tease you. so he’ll say something like “if you’re so desperate, ride my thigh” or maybe “ride my thigh and then we’ll see if you deserve my cock.” he’ll sit back and enjoy the show with a smug grin, one hand gripping your hip. he’s not controlling your pace, it’s mostly just there as an anchor bc you’re gonna be doing all the work. you’re lucky if you get to ride his bare thigh, but most of the time he’s got pants on so they always end up soaked after you cum and boba always teases you for it, “ruined another pair of pants, little one” but really he isn't even one to talk, he’ll be rock hard and leaking through his pants too. he’ll also nine times out of ten put his fingers or thumb into your mouth to suck on while he flexes and pushes the hard muscle of his thigh up to your cunt. he likes that satisfaction of knowing that even his thigh can make you shudder and whine his name--a bit of a power trip esp if he’s sitting on the throne. he’ll fuck you nice and hard afterwards if you’re a good little princess for him          

din: din wants you to ride the beskar thigh plating. he doesn't realize it’s a thing he finds arousing until you sit over his thigh and he sees the heat from your thighs fog up the metal while your arousal smears over the shiny beskar. literally it’s like something just CRACKS in him and he goes feral for it. a dark thrill that comes from seeing your cunt drip over his precious armor, something so sacrilegious that shouldn't be arousing but it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. sure, it’s a bit cold at first but the more you get into it the quicker it heats up--it’s slippery too, not a lot of friction unless you drag your clit over the seams of the armor, but with din’s hands holding onto your hips and dragging you over his thigh, it’s not long before you cum. din is gonna be encouraging you the whole time, just a constant flow of praise and little moans of his own. he might bury a hand in your hair or slip off his glove and touch your clit when your hips roll up into his hand. he’d loose his mind if you lended a hand and palmed him through his pants. he doesn't even care if he ruins his trousers, he’s just so...fixated on the hypnotic motions of your hips rolling over his thigh, your wetness dripping off the plating and onto the floor. he might focus on your mouth, parted with gasping moans or how they roll the syllable of his name. he likes to watch you come undone like this, shuddering and whiney as you cum and eventually roll off his thigh. he probably busts a nut right then and there if you start to roll your tongue over the beskar, happily cleaning up the mess you made. but....sometimes...lick it off himself just to get a taste of you       

paz: big boy blue ALSO likes when you ride his beskar, but he likes it better when the armor is off and he gets to feel your wetness for himself. he has big ol’ beefy thighs and likes when you straddle one and start to ride him like that. imo he likes it when youre pressed up right near his cock so when you roll forward your own thigh brushes against his cock. it’s also just easier for him to grab your hips, set a pace and watch you squirm and whine. ngl he’s more interested in fucking you, so he’ll get cheeky and start jerking his thigh or holding you in place while he circles his thumb over your clit. p much will sabotage your wild ride and convince you to slide onto his cock instead. though,....if you were to tie him up, tease him bye riding his thigh, he might like that :)  

rex: oH rexY BOY--listen, rex has heard ALL about thigh riding, or rather what the clones like to call it, “paint job”. he doesn't understand the big deal, thinks that it’d be a complete hassle to clean and what not. in my oPiNiOn he’ll be sitting with you in an empty break room or on a couch, you both have feelings for each other but nothing's been said yet. somehow the topic of paint jobs come up and he tells you what he thinks and how it “couldn't possibly feel good, blah blah blah”. you just roll your eyes and you ask if he’s even tried it. he definitely blushes and mumbles out a no and with a leap of faith you ask him if he wants you to ride his thigh. baby boy rex gets very shy and embarrassed about it but he’s not gonna say no. so you’ll flash him a little grin and peel off your pants and your over shirt, make rex relax against the back of the couch/chair and sit over his plastoid covered thigh. even though when you start to grind on his thigh you still have your underwear on, rex with pick a corner of the room to just stare at. it’s not because he doesn't like you, he’s just incredibly shy and afraid he’ll cum in his pants if he looks at you. you gotta cup his jaw and force him to look at you. when that happens his eye will immediately drop to between your legs and just moan at the sight. he gets it now. seeing your arousal that’s already leaking through the thin fabric and staining the blue and white plastoid--he has to grip the fucking sidearm to anchor himself. his armor is one of the only things that he owns and is proud of, so seeing you riding his thigh, moaning and whimpering his name he goes wild for that shit. unfortunately he does end up cumming in his pants but eh fuck it. it was worth it   

cody: he likes when you ride his thigh in semi public places like the 79′s, debrief room, gunships, you name it. imma explain the 79′s scenario bc im a whore but anyway, cody likes to bring you on dates there, one because the drinks are free for him, two it’s dark and so unless someone is really looking at the two of you, it’s pretty secluded. he always chooses a back corner table and after a couple drinks you start to get handsy--nuzzling his neck and wiggling your fingers between the gaps separating his thigh and codpiece. it alWAYS starts like that. cody will chuckle, push his nose into your neck and nibble a line up to your ear, then bite down onto the cartilage. in that dark, rumbly voice he might sigh “such a depraved little creature. we’re in public”. but you can feel his smile and how is pulse quickens under your fingertips. cody will sigh and shake his head as he pulls you onto his lap, bUT--he’s gonna have you with your back to his chest plate, your dress/skirt/pants rolled up or down just barely in the view of anyone who glances over or looks a little closer. it’d be no secret what you both were up to but cody likes that. dude doesn't have any shame and so he’ll wrap an arm over your hip, push you panties to the side and slide his fingers through your folds. once they're coated in your arousal he might pop them into his mouth or yours, clean them off then flex his thigh onto your pussy. when he asks you to grind on his thigh you readily agree. while you ride his thigh he’ll nibble at your throat and suck bruises onto your skin, either watching your wet pussy slide over the plastoid armor or on the look out in case one of his brothers comes near. one time, just as you started to cum, a couple fresh shiny’s got an entire eyeful of you arching and burying your nose into cody’s neck as he rolled his fingers over your clit. safe to say they were a bit spooked--but of course, cody thought it was the funniest thing and couldn't stop laughing even if you were close to tears with embarrassment. now....he doesn't invite anyone to watch, but he wouldn't say no to a few prying eyes          

wolffe: I feel like with wolffe, it’s gonna be right after a mission--one of you might've almost died or gotten real hurt so he’s not thinking about fucking you properly--he just want his mouth on yours, hands buried in your hair as he pins you against the wall. I dont think he initially meant for you to ride his thigh, but when he wedges it between your legs and you moan into his mouth the second he increases the pressure, he freezes. he’ll do it again and when it receives the same reaction from you he smirks and tugs on your hair and might say smthn like “you like that? if you wanted to ride my thigh you could've asked sooner”. he’s either focused on your face or on your pussy, just soaking up all your little reactions or twitches when you roll your cunt over the plastoid. he'll have both hands on your hips, helping you grin up on him, while you either cup his face or grip his arm. either way youre in for a wild fucking ride--wolffe tbh wants to see his armor dripping by the time he’s done with you. sO do nOT be surprised if he just, doesn't let you stop, pushes you to keep going until he’s satisfied. imo I think he’ll make you lick it up after, or just in general would really Like It if you run your tongue over any part of his armor. he likes to be Appreciated :)

wrecker (im sorry I just nEEDed to include him kejkejh): honestly since baby boy wrecker is uh, so big, thigh riding is some of the first things you try with him. you’ll both be butt ass naked bc it’s just easier to explore like this, and while wrecker is eager he knows he has to think about his strength in order not to overwhelm or hurt you unintentionally. he’s a bit of a goof ball so when you straddle his thigh and bring his thicC fingers to your cunt he’ll smile and say some shit like “wow, you’re wet” or like “is it always this wet/soft?” he doesn't mean for it to be teasing, it's more like he’s just stating a fact bc he’s curious about you. you just nod and say it’s all for you, baby/only for you. the second you put your cunt over his thigh he’ll curse and clamp his hands around your hips or ribcage, and just to make the experience all that better for him, you’ll jerk him off while you ride him. wrecker is very vocal/loud and so you’ll know exactly what you’re doing that he likes--he’ll probably tell you how pretty you look, or how good you smell etc., that bOY IS SO FULL OF LOVE and just wants to tell you! it doesn't take long for him to spill into your hand, he shakes and no doubt wakes up half the barrack/ship but who the fuck cares. you just smile and continue to ride his thigh, chasing your own thigh. once he recovers a bit, you can grab his fingers and show him how you like to be touched. he’s a surprisingly quick learner with this and so it doesn't take long for you to cum. afterwards he’ll run his fingers over his thigh, collect the mess you left and taste you and maybe say “you should ride my face. can we do that?”     

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[petewentzisblack1312]

i wanna talk a little bit about the shitty comments ive gotten over on tiktok because ive gotten my fair share and theres not really a wider message other than "black people are traumatized constantly for the crime of existing" and because this often feels like a thankless task but thats in part because i dont talk about the bad parts at all and people mistakenly think everyone is as lovely and as willing to learn as they are. make no mistake i absolutely love those of you who are grateful for the work i do but many people like, personally hate me for the work i do.

a classic is the guy who tried to convince me that wyclef jean is a pop producer as opposed to a dancehall producer brought onto pop songs to make them more dancehall, and also tried to convince me that poly styrene didnt ever talk about race or being black, and then followed that up with just. straight up inaccurate racist dogwhistling. he was like "blacks commit most of the crimes" which is patently false and we literally were not talking about crime. he just. brought that into the convo for no reason.

theres the guy whos entire argument was "you maybe made a slight error kinda and youre just saying inflammatory stuff out of context" despite the fact that a good portion of my page is dedicated to adding the fucking context. and then ended it with a death threat asking me how much cyanide itd take to poison me and my neighbours.

then theres the most recent asshole, a british imperialist who found a video where i said we (the english caribbean) want our money back before arguing that 1) england didnt take any money from us and they established our country so we should be grateful and 2) after i explained that they kidnapped us he responded with the misrepresentation that we werent kidnapped and were sold by other africans which for starters, slavery in africa was not chattel slavery and furthermore, after they realised what chattel slavery was, they stopped trading with europeans. and then they kidnapped us. which there are multiple accounts of. like he just didnt know shit about the transatlantic slave trade and was just repeating a gotcha style fun fact and that one made me so damn mad because we have to learn so much about their shit for brains country and they dont even learn what they did to us.

lets also throw in the racial gaslighting ive experienced from 21/p fans, some of which youve seen but which also happens on tiktok and instagram, even on videos i only commented in agreement of. some highlights include being told reverse racism is real (excellent company) and also what is still the funniest thing i have ever seen, someone telling me they were the first to speak out during the protests only for their example to be them posting a black square on insta. the jokes write themselves.

also the response to me saying anything negative about anyone ever is a rumour constantly used to discourage black alt kids in the scene having anyone to look up to despite the fact that its not true and actively damages the person involved and there are plenty people in the scene who have done worse than that and yet we havent held them to account. literally just to ruin my day. not even bc they care about her, just cuz they think itll hurt.

im sharing these just to kinda illuminate the way being openly black is discouraged, which is why when you get the opportunity, you should encourage it. not just righteous anger, but innocent joy too. it may not be for you, but you are a member of this community, and sharing black joy is the best way to make sure its seen by the people who need it. note: black joy is not only black people being happy, but also black people being happy while being black. talking about and enjoying black culture and black identity and black beauty and blackness. it may not be for you, but why not signal boost? being in the minority means its harder for things to spread. help us find each other.

anyway. just wanted to share. these things happen, and i think its unhealthy to pretend they dont hurt too.

[chocolatte-and-despair]

Ayo dumbass who forgot what fandom to specify for your matchups im so sorry im a literal dumbass. I’ll completely re send my ask but like worse cause i have no idea what i said. I wanted to ask for a dsmp match up. Yandere or not i dont really mind

(if you want you can just screenshot me being an idiot because my original was a lot better)

Im 5’2 pansexual, poly, and non-binary (she/he/they) if it’s important or not im an entj. I have shoulder length washed out purple hair that now looks pinkish brownish. I fucking love braiding it. Im also chubby if that matters.

I remember saying that i tic and stim and that my current biggest stim is banana phone. 🤙I really like art and writing. I have a multiple sketch books just filled to the brim. Ive been writing for almost my entire life and im still not any good 🧍

Im really loyal and loving to all my friends and partners. I love making them kandi and little trinkets so they can stim to them. I love my friends and partners to death. Not really my family cause i dont really care about those dick heads.

Im extremely unfunny but god damn do i sure try. You’re mom and deez nuts? FUNNIEST SHIT IVE EVER SEEN.

I have a very simple style, lazy. Sweat pants and a hoddie are like the only things i wear. I sleep with lots of stuffed animals. And pillows cause 🧍 you know

Im also super interested in cryptids and spooky shit on the internet. I love freaking myself out even though i cant sleep after it.

I FUCKING LOVE LITTLE CLOWN I DONT CARE JF I SAID IT ALREAYD LITTLE VLOWNS ROCK

After thinking for a little bit, I decided to give you ... Captain Puffy/Puffy! I think you two would get along both because of your styles and your lifestyles!

A . How would they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? - Puffy is quite a teaser when it comes to her affection, making you work for it, but honestly, besides it, she is very sweet and loving with her affection.

B. What type of future are they planning with their lover? - Puffy doesn't really think much about the future, because she knows that a relationship can fail pretty easily, based on what happened with Nikki before.

C. What is the scariest moment with them? - Puffy is pretty strong and pretty territorial, so she has killed people who she thought were there to steal you away from her.

D. How do they usually act with their lover? - Puffy is very sweet to you. She knows that you are just the most perfect little thing for her, and she won't let you go that easily.

E. How would they court their lover before? - Puffy would probably be very sweet and gentle with you. She would try to make you comfortable with her beforehand.

F. What's their favorite memory/thing in the relationship? - Puffy remembers that whenever you would work around your house, you always looked so uncomfortable and that lil face always made her laugh.

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

[gayspock]

spock for the character ask!

OMG THANK YOU!!!

1: sexuality headcanon (taps the url) 2: otp him and kirk. girlie, there simply isnt a question abt it!!!! literally idk what tf is up with my brain, these days.... like idk when it comes to ships im usually more passive tbh (like i’ll be like <3 yaaay good for these gays) but spirk sent me insane for some god damn reason. bless <3 anyways

3: brotp i havent seen aos yet but i rlly do love him and miss nyota being besties... AGAIN i think. hm. like if i ever see aos, my opinion of tht might change? bc i do think they could be compatible IN a romantic sense, if you remixed both their characters but... REALLY dont know if that specific nuance is actually met in aos, and so from my total tos perspective: they BESTIES!

BUT i also rlly like AUs where he’s besties with t’pring&stonn. i think (the latter especialy) that is in part a reactionary thing: i find it funny, but i ultimately dont rlly Care for stonn&t’pring being depicted as one note, antagonistic forces or points of drama in fics... and so seeing the converse of tht is sth i just find nice and refreshing as hell and a far more interesting thing to explore, u kno wht i mean??? yah<3

4: notp hrgrhh. i cant think of..... a specific one. like, there’s deffo shit i’d turn my nose up at: but i see it so rarely, it hardly seems worthy of a remark, u kno wht i mean? i guess spock/pike? i’ve seen that a bit and i dont like that at all. OH WAIT. DOES.... SHIPPING SPOCK PRIME WITH AOS KIRK COUNT?OH BABE I HATE THAT. I DONT LIKE THAT ONE!!!!!!  

5: first headcanon that pops into my head i will be fair and honest with u i am not necessarily a headcanons kinda guy (where do you bitches get thoughts from! what the fuck!)  so im all empty i think. hm. h- hey? WAIT NO, i was thinking of this earlier actually-. i dont think my man likes flowers and this is technically a spirk headcanon but u KNO in the man trap. kirk is like “pick some flowers” and he picks fucking GRASS or some bollocks. yeah i think thats bc spock doesnt necessarily find flowers themselves that pretty but whatever the fuck (grass? is it fucking GRASS?) appeals to him. unsure of specifically why, but... maybe its due to vulcan & what grows more abundantly there (which could very well change what is used and for when). i dont know shite about shit when it comes to lore. maybe using grass or whatever the fucj tht is to actually weave and make shit with is a thing on vulcan. babe dont ask me.... im npt the headcanons man. i just think its funny if everyone looks at kirk like he’s a weirdo for parading around a bouquet of fucking grass and when he presents it to spock he’s just like stoically enchanted.

6: favorite line from this character favouRITE LINE? LINE? CHRIST. BABE HOW CAN ONE EVEN CHOOSE YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME DIZZY WITH THE COICES. I DONT KNOW. I DONT REMEMBR WORDS. COME BACK TO ME LATER. PROBABLY WHATEVER I FIND FUNNIEST IN THE MOMENT.

7: one way in which I relate to this character autism...... mixed.... gay...... gender or whatever... (i cant talk abt specifics im too queasy with embarassment bc like fucks sake spock is one of those where its like. yah the shit i relate to is TOO embarrassing to drag out specifically babe so sit with THIS)

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character SCREAM ive said it before but journey to babel when FUCKING... HIS PARENT SWALK IN AND THEY BLANK HIM. MAYBE ITS NOT SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT PER SE, BUT THAT EVOKES SUCH A VISCERAL REACTION. I CANT. ITS TOO REAL, MISTER SPOCK, ITS TOO REAL! HAVE MY HEAD IN MY HANDS AND SHIT. also ALSO not second hand embarrassment but when my king turns up in tmp in THAT goth getup???? like i AM in awe, i guess- so i guess it worked and  hence why its not embarrassment but i........ really do have to sit there and have a little okay, mister spock. okay. to myself and smirk because he really didd do that. like he REALLY did bring all that drama, get that little makeover just to show up and act like he was unbothered. ALL this effort to appear EFFORTLESS. OKAY spock! however you want to act. im screamin. drama queen.

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? cant cope with this question. spock has never done anything wrong in his life. he’s a little cunt sometimes but it;s literally always justified and respectable so literally whatever you know.  like he deserves it and stuff <3

[in-a-cave-with]

can you make a list of every mavel comic you've ever read (good and bad) i just finished iron man (1998) and i thoroughly loved it with all its best and weird bits

GOOD™

iron man stuff:

tales of suspense (1963) – a classic. 100/10. would read several times

iron man vol 1 (1968) – i’m on, like, issue 20 out of 300 something but it’s also very very good! the drama..the action……..wig

iron man vol 3 (1998) – obv i know youve read this one anon but for anyone out there starting comics this one’s SUPER good, and also Love Is Stored In The Tonyru

iron man vol 4 (2005) – listen this comic. so great, so iconic. maya hansen! epic fights! director stark! good art except for, like, the 6 issues of execute program but execute program is such a good story arc that you wont even notice! 

iron man noir (2010) – INDIANA JONES AU TONY STARK, LITERALLY THE BEST CONCEPT MARVEL’S COME UP WITH. PEAK COMICS IRONFAM

iron man legacy (2010) – i enjoyed this one a lot! i’m kind of confused as to, like, what’s going on but it’s fun

iron man season one (2013) – ok so this is, like, a modern remake of tony’s origin story and it’s..kind of average imo but thats ok! bc you can just look at the very very pretty pictures

iron man fatal frontier (2013) – tony becomes governor of the moon and fights doom! also he takes down an ai with weaponized fanfiction somewhere in there. read this one with a .cbr reader

invincible iron man vol 2 (2015) – gonna maybe fuck around and rec bendis’ entire iron man run bc . the art is gorgeous and the story isn’t the strongest but tony’s characterization is v good 

international iron man (2016) – ok i dont remember what happens in this one but alex maleev’s art is literally god 

invincible iron man vol 3 (2016) – RIRI WILLIAMS!!!! AND ALSO AI TONY STARK (MY SON MY BOY WHOM I LOVE)!!!!

other stuff:

new avengers vol 1 (2005) – as i have said before. new avengers GOT the sauce. stevetony and caroljess on one team was too powerful so marvel had to break em up with civil war . also stop reading this comic when you get to civil war

civil war: casualties of war (2007) and civil war: the confession (2007) – these are both oneshot comics and also the Only Civil War Content You Need To Subject Yourself To

spider-man noir (2010) – a break from the avengers stuff to tell you that this comic is very brutal and also very good

secret invasion (2010) – ok avengers emh did it better™ but this is still very neat! also it’s pretty trippy so its got that going for it too

siege (2010) – i dont understand what’s going on but the art is very good. also the avengers get to beat up norman osborn’s bitch ass

avengers prime (2011) – apparently this is the “stevetony bible” and …honestly there isn’t anything i can say in objection to that

avengers vol 4 (2010) – this comic is SUPER fun. after the fear itself tie ins the art and story get pretty eugh though so be careful

fear itself (2012) – BEST BEST BEST!!! my favorite crossover event in comics, with cool art and a badass storyline

captain marvel vol 4 (2012) – can we get a yeehaw for CAROL DANVERS . hell yeah. this is her first run with the name captain marvel and it’s Very Good

avengers: the enemy within (2014) – captain marvel vol 4 ends on a cliffhanger and the storyline’s capped off here

avengers vol 5 (2013) – ok so *clown noises* i haven’t exactly finished it but…this is the One Was Life The Other Was Death comic and it’s super good from what ive read so far

hawkeye (2013) – matt fraction’s run! everyone and their dog wants you to read it and you absolutely should if you have not. not too sure abt the volume numbering but heres a link to download in TPBs, it’s volumes 1-4

captain marvel vol 5 (2014) – this is the volume featuring chewie (!!) and carol in outer space with the guardians of the galaxy (!!!). super fun in general, would read again

ms marvel (2014) – again i am VERY confused as to what the official issue/volume numbering is, but here’s a list of TPBs that collect pretty much every kamala khan comic pre 2019 (im gonna rec all of them bc kamala is a treasure)

doctor strange vol 3 (2015) – literally everything i want from a comic tbh, also chris bachalo’s art is amazing

marvel 1872 (2015) – no one actually calls this Stevetony Bible 2 but lbr it’s basically Stevetony Bible 2

all-new all-different avengers (2015) – BEST AVENGERS TEAM EVER. EVER. PLEASE BENDIS WHY DID YOU BREAK THIS TEAM UP IM SAD

the unbelievable gwenpool (2016) – oh god oh fuck it’s miss GWEN POOLE . this comic is super funny and also surprisingly heartfelt, plus the art is . mmm.

champions (2016) – the gen z superhero team, i love all of them so much. i can almost forgive marvel for ending anad avengers

hunt for wolverine: adamantium agenda (2018) – so this is, after 11 goddamn years, closure for the first civil war regarding tony and the new avengers that sided with steve. amazing.

the life of captain marvel (2018) – the carol origin retcon is…eh. but it’s still very good! think of it as carol’s international iron man

avengers: back to basics (2018) – kamala goes back in time and accidentally reveals tony’s secret identity and it’s the funniest fucking thing

captain marvel (2019) – the first issue is everyone bullying tony which sucks but DONT LET THAT GET YOU DOWN bc it’s, like, actually good and also tony appears more in later issues without getting bullied

war of realms (2019) – i guess it’s a marvel rule that all crossover comics having to do with asgard are Top Notch? anyway

loki (2019) – AMAZING loki shenanigans and also the REAL reason you needed to read war of realms tbh

ironheart (2019) – gosh i love riri williams so much she’s so GREAT and you should DEFINITELY READ THIS

QUESTIONABLE™:

invincible iron man vol 1 (2008) – matt fraction’s iron man run…it’s ..ok story wise? however the characterization is a lil off at times and the art is HORRIBLE

iron man vol 5 (2013) – ok so this comic is super weird ? because it’s nice that tony spends time out in space but also it confirms that he’s a furry apparently. pretty much the only truly average iron man comic

avengers vol 8 (2018) – okay so i really like the art and the story’s okay but there’s a bit where tony flirts w carol and it’s the most ooc thing ive ever seen and that’s enough to land it in the questionable category

tony stark: iron man (2018) – i debated over whether to put this here or in the Bad™ category BUT valerio schiti’s art is too beautiful and the rhodeytony content fuels me. also issues 12 and 13 (war of realms) written by gail simone are pretty good. unfortunately dan slott wrote the rest and it AINT IT CHIEF

gwenpool strikes back (2019) – it starts off strong in the first issue but goes downhill from there and tbh it’s not really respectful of the previous gwenpool run

magnificent ms marvel (2019) – ok listen i love kamala a lot but if theres gonna be a romance plot between her and bruno it’s the electric chair

BAD. AVOID AT ALL COSTS™

iron man vol 2 (1996) – just. don’t touch this. it’s a hot mess

civil war (2006) – i hate this. so much. it’s unreal. all you need to know is that steve was real close to killing tony in the end but surrendered when he saw that he no longer had the moral high ground. and also steve got assassinated right before he was going to be put on trial

mighty avengers (2007) – this comic had the potential to be SO good. unfortunately the artists for the actual avengers issues don’t respect women at all

superior iron man (2015) – they made tony evil and i could not be more angry with it. who even fucking wants to read this theres not even any emotional payoff for any of this

civil war ii (2016) – i would hit this stupid comic in the knees if i could. there is not a single c*vil w*r with rights. all you need to know is that carol put tony into a coma and it’s super ooc

iron man 2020 (2020) – listen i know this comic hasn’t come out yet but it has all the ingredients to be EVEN WORSE than superior iron man which is saying a lot.

this took way too much effort

[tossertozier]

you mentioned possibly doing a ben or mike writing guide.. would you.. be willing to post a mike one. i'm plotting a fic and im struggling to get my mans down?? also i think abt ur fics weekly bare minimum.

hi there!!! i did my best. i tried to not sound preachy or like a know it all bc y’all know i can barely write. i hope this is helpful in some way!! disclaimer of of course this is all just my opinion & there’s no wrong way to write, you’re the only person who can tell your story!!

[[MORE]]

i think the first really important decision you have to make as Person Writing Mike is his

family & background

-are both of his parents alive?

-if yes, what’s their relationship like?

-if no, who’s his primary caretaker? what’s their relationship like?

-if no, when did they die? did he cope well with it? what’s his relationship with their memory like?

these are really really where you gotta start to write mike imo. or any character! i think one thing stephen king is to be admired for is he doesn’t neglect the parent-child relationship as so many people who write youth do. your parents are the most important people in your life for a long time. i don’t think there’s a wrong or ooc way to answer the above questions tbh. canon has really left a wide open field for you to run amuck in.

(example: i’ve mentioned in the past that my & tfat mike being a small adult is no mistake and intentional. it’s a bit of a throwaway scene, but i mention in on pointe that mike’s parents are coming. it’s intentionally done there too. mike is goofier, more outgoing, more immature in general in that fic in the small bits he’s in & that’s all a response to his familial life. )

culture + friendships

after you answer those questions, important follow up questions are:

-are the losers his first set of friends?

-how much social exposure has he had?

-has he dated? who is he attracted to?

-who influences him? (celebrities, family, culturally)

-what are his cultural interests? what does he do in his free time? how would that impact how he interacts with the rest of the world?

again, no wrong way to answer these. i’ve seen a super broad spectrum of indirect answers to these questions. even thinking about where he might pick up patterns of speech can make him feel much more like a realized character. i’ve noticed some people dip fully into aave to an extent that doesn’t even seem logical in their character’s current situation & it can really seem like a caricature, but i think to write mike without any sense of aave at all is a little ?? too. just be cognizant of it is my only real advice here. it doesn’t so much matter as long as you don’t forget who mike is which next point

humor & personality

-what do you think he would find (shows, comedians, youtube videos) really funny?

-does he have something he quotes often? something he started saying ironically but never stopped?

man i know i’m all there’s no wrong way to write mike !! in this post but i will say real quick that i think mike is funny and i don’t really respect depictions of him where he’s not. i think this is where the movies really just fucked up. book mike drops some of the funniest lines of the book. and honest to god tip is to write out a scene as you feel the urge too, look away for five minutes, look back and give half of richie’s lines away. (or... dialogue.) this sounds like a joke but it was what i did when i first started writing & tfat

i’d always be like “n the funny part goes... to richie.” and thats a fandom inclination too. nooooo. avoid this trap. it doesn’t even make sense. have u ever been in a friend group where only one person... makes jokes? that’d be genuinely so weird. especially bc if you give the joke away to someone else, you can also build on it. amazing things start happening when u start thinking of the characters in flexible patterns. like for example, i almost always give absurdist humor to stan now. wholesome to ben.

mike’s humor is largely situational to me. solid comedic timing & he’s an observant person. sometimes i read back my own writing & have to change the pov bc richies making jokes about things he would never ever notice to make fun of. mike would. mike genuinely sees all. i think he’s just got one of the most analytical brain of the losers. & i think intelligence is subjective and people are smart in different ways but i think it’s foolish to write him as anything other than incredibly intelligent both academically and emotionally. he’s just a natural observer and pattern notice-er. which brings me to my next mike thing:

love & selflessness

i think the biggest part of mike being harder to flesh into a fully realized person is the fandom tendency to make him kind and nothing else. here’s mike. he’s nice. next. bc the book kind of points out his selflessness in his decisions and it makes itself one of his strongest character traits.

especially bc nice seems to trump him having any other emotions. ...no?

i believe in general, but ESPECIALLY in the case of mike, that kindness is a choice. it’s one i genuinely believe he’d make, over & over again. but a choice he makes. he gets annoyed with his friends being annoying like anyone else would. he gets hurt when he feels left out. he feels tired & anxious & hungry and all those other human things. sometimes he might not let it show outwardly, but there’s a difference between that and not giving him feelings at all.

people are selfish. it’s a defense mechanism. it’s to protect us. it’s not a bad thing. we think of how the world impacts ourselves first. we don’t always act upon those thoughts or voice them, but don’t forget to let mike have them. he doesn’t need to be happy for his friends all the time, or rooting for them or supportive. he should have his own things going on.

also. mike’s not a doormat. yes, he stays in derry. but those were life-death consequences for generations of children. it’s really not comparable to almost any decision mike would make in a pennywise free universe. yes, he made a sacrifice in the book but i don’t think he’d just lay himself down in any given universe to whatever fate wants to hand him. but this is where i end this topic bc i’m actually only barely beginning to get to this topic in my own fic!

it’s hard writing the losers young sometimes bc i do feel relationships are naturally a little unbalanced based on basic maturity levels as young people. sometimes friendships just are unbalanced bc of who people are at that time. everyone involved can still be good people in these relationships. it’s about growing together and learning how to be good friends to each other.

for example, in &tfat: certain losers are always checking in with others. others are really wrapped up in their own shit and don’t really notice what bothers the others. it would probably take a chart the size of a textbook to explain how i think this dynamic wholly pans out in full. and yeah, i think it grates on mike a little bit that he is always the checker and never the checkee.

but even when mike snaps, even when he gets upset, i always write it coming out of him with a lot of love. i genuinely think mike, regardless of experience in that fic, has the deepest understanding of love as its own concept and an understand of how exactly it rules his life and and his relationships. mike knows to feel strongly about something he has to care about it. there are lots of things he just doesn’t care about. in the book it’s stated he’s difficult to connect with as an adult. he’s distant. he’s focused on what he wants to focus on. i think mike is actually the most interesting when he becomes a little bit of a disaster man with very little time for what doesn’t interest him.

which last thing, dislikes & disinterests

-what annoys him?

-what makes him genuinely angry?

-what bores him to tears?

i always make jokes that i bring up the nastier parts of the losers bc i love nasty boys but thinking of things people don’t like is as much a part of them as the things they do.

for example, in &tfat, i write richie as making fun of “nerdy” things like anything you could find at comic con. i write bev as not giving a fuck about sports. bill doesn’t care about richie’s music tastes. eddie hates getting condescended to.

bc of the ... kind thing, mike’s one of the harder losers to do this with. i genuinely think mike would listen to any of his friends tell him about anything. & he knows, in return, they can’t say shit when he wants to ramble about history. but dislikes can also be super situational.

again, for example in & tfat: mike doesn’t like when his friends talk about college right now. no one is really being sensitive to him at all. he hates getting blamed for stuff that isn’t his fault, mostly bc it keeps happening.

anyway. i based a lot of my mike (mostly sense of humor and personality) off of a mix of real life friends of mine. it’s a luxury. i know. i’ve been blessed to have friends from literally all walks of life & for me borrowing little habits & quirks & sayings & jokes to slip into my fics and characters is my way of writing one massive love letter to those ive known. i hope i’ve helped you in some way anon. n if not.... don’t be sad i’m hardly one to take writing advice from anyway jandjxjx

overall, as i used to do often, i’d genuinely stop myself and say: is this a person, or a convenience for the plot? and if it was the latter, sigh, and get my backspace key ready.

[adriannaelle]

Treehouse and Chill

The Simpsons reached another milestone this year with the recent airing of its thirtieth “Treehouse of Horror” special which, coincidentally, is the show’s 666th episode. While certainly not the best installment of this annual series, “Treehouse of Horror XXX” was pretty funny. Still, even the funniest jokes in this episode pale in comparison to some of the classic “Treehouse of Horror” specials. To this day, iconic segments such as “The Shinning”, “The Devil and Homer Simpson”, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, and “Citizen Kang” are still hard to top.

So, in honor of Halloween, thirty years of scary tales, and 90’s nostalgia, I want to briefly discuss my favorite five episodes of the Treehouse of Horror series. As always, ranking articles like these are subjective and are based on personal taste. Therefore, I don’t care if you nor yo’ mama thinks “Treehouse of Horror III” was trash. It’s still going on this list!

Alright, let us continue.

Honorable Mentions: “Treehouse of Horror II”, “Treehouse of Horror VIII”, and “Treehouse of Horror X”

Number Five: “Treehouse of Horror VII” (Season 8, Episode 1; 1996)

Although “The Thing and I” was a strong first segment, I enjoyed it least in “Treehouse of Horror VII”. Don’t get me wrong, I thought the story was pretty funny, I just like the second and third stories better. However, I do have a bone to pick with the ending of “The Thing and I”. Instead of confining Bart to the attic, why not keep both Hugo and Bart around after they discovered Bart was the evil twin? I mean, the family already lived with Bart for 10 years. They might as well kept the mistake going.

“The Genesis Tub” was amusing.  It may be the creative in me, but I really enjoy the concept of creating your own world and overseeing it.  Still, I felt the ending of “The Genesis Tub” was a bit abrupt.  I feel like the writers could have done so much more with the concept of Lisa creating and ruling her own Universe. Maybe she could have assaulted Bart with more fighter pilots. Maybe she could have built a massive ray gun a la the ray gun seen in “Citizen Kang”.  The ideas are limitless.

Speaking of “Citizen Kang”, this story is one of my favorites in the entire Treehouse of Horror series.  It's a brilliant satirical take on elections in the United States and the country’s politicians.  I especially like how the writers make fun of our ridiculous two-party system.  Like really, are our only choices between a drooling, Gangreen Gang, cyclops squid, and his twin sister?  Ross Perot should have brought up Kang’s and Kodos’ emails.  That always works.

Number Four: “Treehouse of Horror III” (Season 4, Episode 5; 1992)

Akin to my feelings about “Treehouse of Horror VII”, I’m only a big fan of two of the three segments in “Treehouse of Horror III”.  “King Homer” was just a’ight to me. Granted, the segment did have a great exchange between Mr. Smithers and Mr. Burns about the former’s distaste of seamen and women mixing.  Yet overall, I didn’t get a kick out of this story as much as I did the other two.

“Clown Without Pity” is a parody of the lauded Twilight Zone episode “Living Doll”.  This segment had its share of funny jokes, particularly the line from Patty about losing the remaining thread of her heterosexuality after seeing Homer horrifically run through the house butt naked.  I also like how the key to turning off the Krusty doll’s murderous rage, is switching the lever from “evil” to “good”.  Like, what happens if the lever accidentally switches back?  What if it breaks and he gets stuck on “evil”?  Take the doll back and get a refund!  Like, what are y’all doing?!

Finally, there is “Dial ‘Z’ for Zombie”.  No matter how self-aware I am about the absurdity of my kinemortophobia (fear of zombies), I still have it.  That is why I hated this segment as a child.  But as a grown woman, I find this story very funny.  It’s a pretty simple zombie story, but the jokes strewn throughout are what make it a highlight of the series.  The joke about Homer being immune to the zombies because he lacks brains is one that stands out in particular.  Also, what are George Washington, Albert Einstein, and William Shakespeare even doing in Springfield?

Number Three: “Treehouse of Horror IV” (Season 5, Episode 5; 1993)

Choosing between “Treehouse of Horror IV” and “Treehouse of Horror V” as my second favorite episode of the series was the hardest.  Ultimately, I prefer V ever so slightly over IV, but IV is a heavyweight in its own right.  “The Devil and Homer Simpson” shows just how far our dimwitted protagonist is willing to go to get his favorite, sugary snack.  You got to be desperate as all hell to sell your soul for a donut!  Other than Homer’s enjoyment of his ironic punishment, the best part of the segment is the trial itself.  The Devil’s voir dire game is trash.  How do you select the jury and still lose the case?  Never hire this man for anything.

“Terror at 5 ½ Feet” is yet another hilarious spin on an old Twilight Zone classic. This parody of “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” stays true to the basic horror elements and story structure as the original tale, but, of course, adds its own Simpsons brand of humor to it. However, unlike the original, Bart is still tormented by the gremlin after he’s hauled off to the psych ward.  Side note, Ned Flanders really took a lot of L’s in this episode.

I’ve never seen nor read the original Dracula, so I do not know how faithful “Bart Simpson’s Dracula” is to the original story.  Well, I guess that doesn’t really matter here because this story is so funny and scary that it holds your attention from beginning to end.  From the super happy fun slide that leads to the vampires in the basement to Homer staking Mr. Burns (Burnscula?) in the crotch, this story provides many laughs that make this story a classic.  Also, the plot twist that Marge (Margecula?) is really the head vampire is funny as hell.  Sorry if that was a spoiler but in fairness, this episode is 26 years old now.

Number Two: “Treehouse of Horror V” (Season 6, Episode 6; 1994)

“Treehouse of Horror V” is solid from beginning to end.  “The Shinning” is firmly in my top five list of favorite Treehouse of Horror segments.  This segment has several hilarious moments, from Homer taking three days to make the voyage to the cabin due to his forgetfulness to the blood not getting off at the right floor, to that scene where the complete lack of television and beer made Homer go . . . something . . . hmm.  Well, anyway, I can definitely say that every time I watch “The Shinning”, I’m feelin’ fine.

“The Shinning” is not the only highlight of this episode.  Homer’s time-traveling escapade in “Time and Punishment” introduced us to numerous interesting alternative timelines that ultimately drove Homer to a pure state of “IDGAF” at the end.  Still sucks that he missed out on that donut rain.  That timeline would have smacked!  

This episode’s final segment, “Nightmare Cafeteria”, truly is the stuff of nightmares. I mean, it’s super funny now that I’m grown, but this segment used to legitimately scare me as a child.  It also didn’t help that I was a fat kid.  Like, imagine living your best life and then the next moment, you’re Ms. Wilson’s Fried Adri.  Woo, chile.

Number One: “Treehouse of Horror” (Season 2, Episode 3; 1990)

It’s often said that nothing beats the original, and in the case of Treehouse of Horror episodes, this sentiment rings true.  The very first Treehouse of Horror is the greatest episode of the series.  One of the highlights of this episode is the dulcet baritone of James Earl Jones as the mover, Serak the Preparer, and the narrator of “The Raven”.

The first segment “Bad Dream House” is a comedic spin on the classic haunted house movie trope.  The quintessential 80s style horror music that accompanies the story throughout greatly adds to the mood of the piece without overdoing it.  The conclusion of “Bad Dream House” is what makes this story so funny.  The house destroys itself rather than live with the Simpsons. I don’t know what it feels like to be curved by a house, but it must make you feel all kinds of insecure.  

“Hungry Are the Damned” is our first introduction to Treehouse staples Kang and Kodos.  It is also our introduction to the sorely missed Serak the Preparer, who definitely needs to return at least once in this series.  This segment parodies the classic Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Man” and gives us a humorous plot twist at the end.  I suppose this episode also serves as a sort of origin story of Kang’s and Kodos’ beef with mankind because this is the only episode where they are genuinely nice.  Dang, all Lisa had to do was sit down and eat her food. Literally.

Finally, there is “The Raven”, which is absolutely my favorite segment in any Treehouse of Horror Episode.  What I like most about “The Raven” is how the crew manages to add comedy to the piece without losing any of the mystique of Edgar Allen Poe’s riveting poetry.  It also made this poem a bit easier to understand, which I greatly appreciate.  It’s a refined piece of television without the pompousness of the bourgeois.  In short, I like it. 

Honestly, no matter which of the thirty Treehouse of Horror episodes you like best, all are great for watching on Halloween for squeamish, easy-to-scare people like me.  So for those of us who aren’t bravely equipped to watch the more realistic, gory, and scary productions, I highly recommend binge-watching these episodes for some softer scary vibes and lots of laughs.