#and the magic is the same. it's the same path as shirou giving his mind shape

[monstersqueen]

she's saying 'your magic' and he's answering 'archer's magic' so i think even if illya thinks only she knows the true nature of archer and shirou's relationship, shirou is aware of ti at some level this route too

shirou's magic - per illya, as well as per shirou with insight into archer's magic - is not exactly overwriting a reality his ideal is in conflict with, but giving shape to his mind

which means it doesn't rely on shirou's ideals being impossible and incompatible with reality. it's just that its effect is more obvious when his inner world doesn't make sense

[goodolreliablejake]

Okay, I'm on the last day of Unlimited Blade Works now, and I've got some shipping thoughts...

I like the way each pairing corresponds to its respective storyline. I don't necessarily think that having the best relationship means having the best story, far from it. With that in mind...

Shirou and Rin feel like the best match to me. They seem like they can meet each other on the same level and are at the same place in life. Even though Rin is supposedly the perfect school idol and Shirou's magical tutor, Shirou is still able to challenge and surprise her. They learn together. They're the same age. They're both mages. Their differences feel complimentary. And even their issues with intimacy seem well-matched. Shirou struggles to see himself as worthy of life and love, and Tohsaka feels isolated by her legacy and unable to be vulnerable, but this allows them to open up to one another slowly, to work through these issues together. And that seems fitting for the storyline that kind of ends on the note of, like, "well, I don't know if this will end badly or not, but I'm going to dedicate myself to doing my best on the path I have chosen for myself."

Contrast Sakura, whose relationship with Shirou inevitably becomes one-sided. Sakura is more than willing to give everything for Shirou, to silently pine for him, to sacrifice herself for his happiness, but she is so hurt and vulnerable and volatile that in order to be with her, Shirou has to repeatedly choose to give up everything else. He's her senior, her brother's friend, it's unbalanced, and it plays into his martyr-hero complex, even when he has to compromise his ideals to protect her. Sakura needs to heal, but she can't, so instead she gets a codependent savior. It's a toxic drama worthy of Heaven's Feel, and it's part of why I love Sakura so much.

And speaking of enabling, we have Shirou and Saber. Now don't get me wrong, I love Saber. In fact, she's really become a comfort character for me over time. But I don't think the narrative really paints her "ideal hero" shtick in the best light. She is what Shirou longs to be: the Hero of Justice who has sacrificed herself and her wellbeing, even her humanity to save others. And as we know from Archer, that's the Bad Ending for Shirou. When they are together, it reminds me of two kids experiencing their first crush, not necessarily sharing much in common beyond the extreme circumstances that have brought them together. Not the best hill to die on. Also, the fantastical elements kind of give me the ick in terms of power imbalance. Saber is a magically bound servant who must obey her master. Saber is mentally an adult who has already lived an entire life. Saber is physically a young teenager who cannot age. It's just a bit weird, isn't it?

My favorite part of the Fate route was learning about Saber, but it definitely wasn't the most satisfying ending. It felt like a starting point to get beyond, and maybe that's why the romance feels so much like a first crush to me.

[atopearth]

Fate/stay night Réalta Nua Part 5 - Heaven’s Feel Route (1/2)

Day 1-10 Since Sakura barely appears in the other routes after a while, I kinda forgot how soothing of a person she is, and how sweet it is that both Shirou and her love to cook for each other. I like how Shirou prioritised taking Sakura home for her safety rather than caring about the possibility of him and Shinji fighting (since Shinji doesn’t like Sakura going to Shirou’s place to cook). Honestly, with how beautiful and kind Sakura is, it’s really saddening how she feels like the only time she can truly be herself and have fun is when she goes to Shirou’s place to cook and spend time with him and Taiga. They’re such simple everyday things, but somehow it’s so difficult for her to truly have something so simple in her life. That bruise on Shirou…was it from one of the bugs at Sakura’s place or something? Although it seems implied in the UBW route (and explicitly shown in the UBW anime), I guess both Sakura and Rin were inspired by the Shirou four years ago that kept challenging a high jump bar for three hours persevering and never giving up for such a long time. Even though in the end, he wasn’t able to succeed, I think seeing him continue to try so hard really affected them and their mindset. In a sense, both Shirou and Sakura were feeling crap at that time, Sakura was probably plagued with the Matou family circumstances as usual with no outbreak at all (until she met Shirou properly and he taught her how to cook etc), and at that time Kiritsugu just passed away so Shirou was really down and just did reckless things as an outlet I guess. And yet now they’re both here supporting each other, it’s so cute. I loved how he brought a tea set and quietly had tea with her in the classroom until she felt better (since she seems really bothered about Shirou’s bruise).

I think a lot of the reason why Shirou is the way he is, is not only because of Kiritsugu saving him influencing him, but also the people he encountered in the fire ten years ago. It’s surprising, but it seems that in Shirou’s memories, a lot of the people he saw who died in the fire were people who sacrificed themselves for others. People who gave their lives to save children, people who would give their own limited water to another, only for them to die instead etc, and although there were people who walked past others “leaving” others to die, it didn’t really feel like something Shirou would blame them for, because he knew, he knew that in such a place surrounded by death, what you should blame aren’t the people who tried their best to survive but the existence of the fire itself, and that’s why I think Shirou is someone who aims to save everyone by not allowing such things to happen in front of him ever again, rather than the idea of saving people when terrible things happen. Well, I guess it’s kinda surprising that to an extent, Kotomine did understand Kiritsugu’s motivations etc fairly well, or maybe it took him 10 years to understand lol. Anyway, I guess it’s kinda interesting how even though Kiritsugu barely taught Shirou much about being a superhero saving everybody etc, Shirou still ended up going on this path towards an impossible dream just like him.

Hmm I guess Zouken is “alive” through the existence of the worms? Nice to see Shinji out of the picture (for now) but Zouken is definitely not going to just stop fighting~ Honestly disgusting to picture Rider “eating” an innocent woman’s spirit and mind etc, I wonder how many people they’ve done that to already… I loled when Shinji got reprimanded as useless by Zouken, but yeah he’s probably going to be even more annoying from now on even if he’s not a Master so zzzzz. On the other hand, Shirou panicking and consulting Rin on how he can protect Sakura from the war is so cute lol. Innocent Illya is always so cute but dangerous🥺🥺 I don’t blame Shirou for having a soft spot for her when she acts like that, and it’s not like she’s faking either, she’s genuine, but at the same time, she’s genuinely intending on killing Shirou. Omgg Taiga was so cute when she got traumatised at how scary Saber can be in a sword fight🤣 Everyone is so cuteeeeee lol. I love how Taiga misunderstood Shirou and Saber’s relationship (since she wants to sleep in the same room and will always obey Shirou lmao) and did a choke hold on him and threw him, but he was too heavy and she nearly hurt herself. It was so sweet how Shirou reprimanded her for doing something that could have hurt herself rather than being annoyed at her throwing him, he’s such a good boy. You definitely didn’t raise him wrong, Taiga!! LMAO at Taiga and Sakura talking about bras and sleeping with them on or not at night right in front of Shirou hahahaha. But yeah, it was really heartwarming how insistent Shirou was on telling Sakura to stay over because he was worried about her. He’s so nice😫 HAHAHA, Taiga totally deserved it when Sakura nearly killed her covering her mouth, she literally just told Shirou Sakura’s bra size!! It was hilarious but so embarrassing hahaha. Not gonna lie, Shirou was so cool when he carried Sakura back to the room. Sakura really is so reckless though. She fell asleep in the bath with a high fever and then fell down after she changed into her clothes, like seriously, take care of yourself better please Sakura!! You really can’t blame Shirou for being so worried about her tbh. And yes, I love it when the girl tugs on the guy’s shirt so that they’ll stay beside them until they fall asleep, it’s such an adorable thing to see all the timeee!

Oh man, seeing Assassin suffer such a gruesome death was terrible… I’m kind of surprised that Kuzuki lost considering how adept he is, but I guess…Sakura is a monster? Lol. Umm, that dream of Shirou having sex with Rin was way too vivid to be a dream imo, Sakura definitely did something to him! Does she eat men for magical energy or something?😟 Saber said he’s lacking magical energy, she’s definitely stealing it!!! Anyway, it was pretty cute how Sakura insisted on staying to take care of Shirou since he apparently has a fever. But at the same time, it felt ominous lol. Like, I don’t doubt Sakura’s intentions, but there’s definitely something dangerous about her that she’s probably aware of to an extent even if not fully. Lol at her getting mad every time Shirou mentions Rin though. Honestly though, Rin is the sweetest girl ever when she got all worried and concerned about Shirou not coming to school, she legit thought he died at Ryuudou Temple, it was so adorable to see how annoyed she was that he was so alive and well hahaha. Omgg, things were so peaceful without Shinji, I should have expected he’d come to get back Sakura yuckkk. Wow, he’s so disgusting, I can’t believe he just hit her straight away, and even insulted her and Shirou saying Shirou is just using her for sex, he’s straight up disgusting!! I wonder if Sakura���s fevers are caused by a lack of magical energy or something, I mean, her eyes changed back to being lifeless when she fell down due to the fever!! I never realised but (spoiler!) technically, both Sakura and Shirou were “adopted”! It’s kinda saddening when you think about that though, by getting adopted, Shirou was able to lead a normal life, whereas Sakura being adopted turned her whole life upside down… It’s nice to know that Shirou said he’d scold her if Sakura became a bad person (since she asked what he would do), but would he really? I feel like he’d comfort her and try to get her back on the “right” path more than he would shout at her haha.

I knew that Sakura found light and meaning to her life after taking care of Shirou after he got injured, but I didn’t think that Sakura was actually the one to persistently go to his place all the time to convince him that she should take care of him and cook for him etc. But I guess regardless of what her motivations were, she definitely didn’t expect that Shirou would give her the spare key to the house that Kiritsugu used to always use. Seeing her smile and so cherish that gift was quite touching, and at the same time I couldn’t help but admire how much Shirou trusted her that he could give something so important to her. I am legit so sad that the monstrous Assassin that appeared (and consumed the previous Assassin) also ended up killing and consuming Lancer😭😭 Honestly, I kinda find it frustrating that this is all happening. So, does that mean that if you take Sakura away from her home, they aren’t able to control her anymore or something? Or is it just Zouken causing trouble? HAHAHA, I loved Shirou’s impersonation of Rin at a yakiniku place being that she’ll devour her fill and say she went easy on him lmao, and I love how Rin said he was right🤣🤣🤣 Now that they’re cooperating (due to Caster still existing even though Shirou defeated her), I’m so glad to have the Shirou and Rin banter again! Like, Sakura is cute, but yeah. And lol at Rin realising too late that Shirou’s lunch was huge because Sakura made it hoping to eat it with him. I bet she waited for Shirou at the archery range thinking he’d go there since she suggested for him to go there🥺 Oh nooo, and she bumped into Shirou and Rin!! Omg, I love how Rin so easily cleared everything up and made Shirou realise that Sakura wanted to eat lunch with him! Rin even apologised about it, she’s legit so clear about it and so cool, I love her. I bet if Rin wasn’t there, it would have just turned into a situation where Sakura would be sad and Shirou would be clueless lol.

I loved how Shirou readied himself to go into the deadly Chinese restaurant that serves super hot spices from Hell (since Rin told him to go there after school), and he enters only to witness Kotomine eating mapo tofu (seemingly) furiously with his deadpan face lol! I knew Kotomine wouldn’t hesitate to reveal that he was a Master since Lancer is gone now and he wants info, but he really said it so nonchalantly lol. I loved how he actually ordered more than one serving of mapo tofu lmao, it was a great way to end their conversation hahaha. Do people really eat that just by itself?! On the other hand, it was obvious that Zouken used his blood sucking bugs or whatever they are to somehow live all this time (hundreds of years!), but it seems like there’s a limit and he’s reaching it since he can’t go out in broad daylight anymore. I was wondering when Shirou was going to remember his promise to meet with Illya at the park LOL. He totally deserved Illya getting mad at him, she waited for him in the cold!! Although Shirou saying he’ll do anything for her to forgive him leading to them going on a short little shopping trip seems to be the right choice (since there’s a CG of her enjoying the snow with Shirou), I really enjoyed how in the other option, Shirou takes Illya back to his house. I know it’s dangerous since she’s a Master, but it was just so innocent and sweet to see her enjoy something so simple like tea time with Shirou, exploring his house and even feeling sad that this is the place Kiritsugu was, so even if she wants to get mad at him, she can’t even show him anymore. It’s saddening, but it was rather bittersweet. Oh and I loved Saber arguing with Shirou about how dangerous it is letting Illya into the house, it was hilarious lmao.

Oh wow, so I guess Zouken devours humans with his bugs to kinda take their place/body? And his body is kinda literally bugs? I felt so sorry for the woman that literally got eaten… Hmm, so this magic of his only keeps his soul alive, so no matter how many bodies he takes over, he can only retain the form of Zouken himself, and due to that, his body is constantly rotting since it’s at it’s utter limit I guess. I find it so terrible that he now has to get a new body every few months now when he used to last fifty years in one, he’s really been killing so so many people! His soul is rotting is an interesting way to phrase how his existence really can’t be sustained in this world anymore… It seems like Archer recognises that “shadow” that swallows up everything and was forced to defeat it before or clean up after it…. It’s kinda disgusting that Zouken states that his simple wish for the holy grail to grant is for him to be able to live (without rotting) and yet he sacrifices every other person’s wishes to live for himself. I’m not surprised that Saber ended up getting consumed and possibly controlled by that dark thing that consumed Lancer too, but I’m honestly disappointed. Well… Rider appearing to save Shirou was rather random and unexpected even if Shinji wants Shirou to be alive so he can prove to everyone and Rin that he’s not inferior to him.. I knew Sakura would be “happy” that Saber is now gone, so she can have Shirou to herself, but I guess Shirou went against her expectations that he won’t get hurt anymore (since Saber is gone), and instead he’s going to go out even more now… I wonder if her intense hatred for whatever that is hurting Shirou is kinda causing her to go around at night as the “shadow”? Anyway, apparently Sakura is more of a pervert than Shirou lol! She legit just masturbated to him after seeing his stomach and his back when she tended to his wounds lol! And lol is Sakura like a yandere?! She’s literally thinking about hurting Shirou so much that he can’t go outside just so that he won’t be able to hurt himself anymore… Like, lady, I don’t know about hurting him to stop him from hurting himself…isn’t that a bit contradictory?? At least put him in a cage or something instead LOL.

Oh wow, I never realised that Taiga’s family is rich and has many housekeepers! That’s why Shirou was able to ask for one to help care for Sakura’s fever whilst he went to school. Like dang! LMAO at Tiger Dojo 28 when Illya tries to take over the Tiger Dojo with a tank and Taiga destroys it in one hit hahahah. Now that I think about it, when Rider said she protected Shirou because her Master said to not let him die, did she actually mean Sakura? Lol. Honestly, with the fact that Sakura being the legitimate successor of the Matou family and being the one who used a Command Spell to order Rider to listen to Shinji making him a pseudo Master, you really gotta wonder how Shinji can be so shameless and disgusting to take Sakura hostage and kick her and harm her all the time when really, he’s only a Master because of her. Hmm, Rider has eyes of petrification and she never used it until this route?! Anyway, Sakura always stops going crazy when she realises that she hurts Shirou so I think everyone should just do that from now on if they want Sakura to stop lol.

I’ve always been a bit unsure of what exactly is wrong with Sakura so it’s nice that Kotomine is explaining things lol. But hmm basically, Zouken placed a crest worm inside of Sakura to monitor her, but since this worm has lived inside her for 11 years, it’s practically become a part of her like a Magic Circuit and has since transformed into her Magic Crest. But when this crest activates, it violates all her nerves and absorbs her magical energy, and since it’s so entrenched within her, it can suck all her magical energy dry and eat her for nutrition if it continues to rampage once activated.. Oh, and the crest activates when Sakura refuses to fight the battles as a Master and tries to abandon it… That’s so cruel.. and I see…Zouken never intended on using her in the war until now because he saw her as the shadow (and thought he could win the war this time)! So in the end, it’s because Shirou cared about her too much in this route that led to this lol. Ooh and I guess that shadow appears because Sakura is already using most of her magical energy to sustain Rider, so that requires the worm to get the energy somewhere else somehow.. 

Kotomine was right when he told Shirou to leave so he could perform surgery on Sakura to save her (from the attack she used on herself so that she wouldn’t hurt Shirou). All this time, Sakura has been carrying heavy mental burdens being beside Shirou. It was only when she could do simple things like cook with him at his house that she could wish for something like a normal and happy life. Even if it was like a dream, it was a happy dream for her, and she would continue doing that forever if she could. But the truth was, just as being with Shirou brought her an endless amount of happiness, it also brought her pain because she couldn’t help but think that she doesn’t deserve him, especially when she compares herself against others like Saber and Rin. She’s not as strong as Saber and she’s not as fun or witty as Rin, so she feels that she can’t win against them in any area, but regardless, she loves Shirou and wants to be the one with him even if she’s not pure. But at the same time, the fact that she’s not pure (aka a virgin) like the others makes her hesitate, she feels bad that she’s not pure like Shirou, she feels like she can’t stand by him like the others can, she can’t raise her head with pride and fight with them for him, because she doesn’t believe she deserves him, and it’s saddening to think of how terrible of a life she’s had this whole time.

Shirou’s choice between continuing to be a superhero or discarding it to protect Sakura (since as long as she is alive, she will be forced to fight and kill others) is an agonising choice. What Archer said really hit the nail on the head though, all this time, Shirou had lived in order to save as many people as he can, if he chooses to protect Sakura, he’ll be giving up on this belief that makes up what the person “Shirou” is. He’ll be burdened with the fact that he abandoned his belief for one person and will be tormented by that fact for the rest of his life. Not only would his individual guilt destroy him, but the fact that he is abandoning Kiritsugu’s promise would kill him on the inside… But I guess at the same time, Shirou can’t forgive the fact that he was always beside Sakura and yet he knew nothing of the pain she experienced and mentally carried. He was so oblivious to her even though he vowed to be a superhero, he must be thinking about how foolish he was to even dream of being a superhero when all along, he couldn’t even protect one of the closest people to him. And also the fact that he ignored how probable it was that Sakura was involved in all this by believing in Zouken’s words that she wasn’t, just because it was convenient to believe so, since if he doesn’t know, then there’s no reason to fight against her or be wary of her. But now, he’s forced to face the fact that she is Zouken’s puppet and he has to choose what he prioritises most. I didn’t realise how much Illya’s simple gesture of patting Shirou’s head even when he pushed her away (due to the pain of his indecision and regret) could sway me. I legit cried because it was such a touching thing to do for Shirou right now. She knew he was in pain and she knew she couldn’t leave him, all because she wanted to protect him and be his ally since she loves him. It broke my heart to know Illya felt so much for Shirou, she’s such a sweet girl. Illya’s right, huh? If Shirou chooses to persist being a superhero despite sacrificing the people he loves most, he is choosing the same life Kiritsugu followed; one where he threw away all the people he loved to save people he didn’t even know. In the end, regardless of which choice Shirou makes, he will hurt himself. By sacrificing the person he loves now, there is no limit to his sacrifice in the future, because if he has already sacrificed one of the most important people to him now, he won’t allow himself to hesitate to sacrifice anything else that’s precious to him in the future, because that’s the path he’s chosen. And that’s just so terrible, because it really will end up just being that same lonely path Kiritsugu and Archer had walked, a life where you abandon everything and yourself for a dream that is the “right path”… I also find it so saddening that Rin is burdened as the supervisor of this land and it’s people, so she has to harden her heart and kill Sakura to protect them. The Holy Grail War between a Rin and Shirou who have both sacrificed Sakura must be a painful one.

I never realised how much I needed Shirou to choose to protect Sakura instead of persisting in being a superhero until I actually made the choice and went to the Tiger Dojo haha. Although he’s choosing to protect the person he loves, I don’t feel like he’ll be completely abandoning his ideals, because as he said to Sakura before, if she’s doing something bad, he will scold her, and I think in this case, he will with the best of his ability stop her from causing any more harm and he will risk his life to do it, whilst using his life to atone for it if Sakura kills anyone. Ooh, so if Shirou chooses to protect Sakura, Kotomine uses up his Magic Crest (he just used up all the magic that was built up through generations!) to treat Sakura and is able to remove most of the crest worm! I guess he’s really interested in seeing how much suffering Sakura’s existence will cause upon Shirou and Rin lol. Sakura’s loss of magical energy is slowly eroding her sanity?! So that’s where the shadow comes from, huh? She’ll eventually lose all sense of herself due to that loss from the crest worm huh.. You know, with the way things have gone, a lot of people may say it’s cliche, and that even the part where Sakura unleashes all her true feelings and thoughts to Shirou is within reason of what you would expect her to say and him to react to, but I couldn’t help but have my heart crushed by it all. And I think that’s because a lot of it stems from the fact that I’ve read through the other routes. If I didn’t read through the previous two routes, I don’t think Shirou’s dilemma between choosing Sakura and persisting as a superhero would hit me as hard, because if I didn’t see his perseverance and unwavering determination, I wouldn’t truly understand how hard of a decision it was for Shirou to choose Sakura (even if he intends on saving everyone else along with her) because he is carrying the risk that people could die by allowing her to live, and Shirou choosing that shows how much he cares for Sakura and how much he doesn’t want to lose her. For Sakura, this is the first time you ever really get to see her true raw emotions of everything she has felt this whole time, and seeing her cruel past contrasted with how everything was in the beginning, you can really see how the “boring” slice of life parts of her life in each route was really what kept her going this whole time, Shirou gave her hope even if he was oblivious, he gave her happiness in the simplest form she could imagine and hope for, and now seeing Shirou choosing to help keep her simple happiness over everything else really melts my heart because of how much she had suffered all this time by herself. When Shirou said he would be her superhero, it honestly felt bittersweet because it really feels like a very painful compromise of his dream, yet it was also beautiful because it also means that Shirou has finally found something he himself deems to be more important than anything, for once in his life, he’s chosen to be a “normal selfish” person.

It’s kinda cute how awkward they were the morning after they had sex lol. I think the funniest thing was the fact that Rider was there the whole time they were having breakfast hahaha, she didn’t say anything at all so I didn’t notice lol. It’s kinda saddening that Sakura is riddled with competing emotions of not wanting Shirou to be hurt, but also being happy that Shirou is getting hurt for her now since she’s suffered all this time and he was oblivious to her pain. Although she’s leaning more towards being happy that he’s getting hurt for her, I feel like she’s being influenced by the worm and the shadow etc and is being consumed by the darkness into feeling like that. But of course I’m sure it stems from a part of her that feels like that, I just feel like the shadow probably amplifies all those negative emotions. Although I should have expected to see Saber Alter considering what happened to Caster, it was still kinda saddening to see her appear like that. And lol, legit there’s going to a whole army of the Servants as an Alter version with how the mud is consuming them all… Saber Alter looks pretty cool, mainly her armour though, her face looks a bit too…dead? I always hate seeing Archer die😭 Especially when he sacrifices himself to protect Rin. It also seems like he has some sort of regret towards Illya too? Was he not able to save her in other times or something? Anyway, it’s interesting that Archer is able to kinda like “combine” with Shirou and grant him the battle experience etc he had? On the other hand, I really wonder how Shirou is going to react when he realises what the shadow actually is… I find it quite fascinating that they could transplant Archer’s arm to Shirou (since he lost his left arm to the shadow when he protected Illya), and that it doesn’t disappear because now the arm is being supported by Shirou’s magical energy now. Lmao at Illya and Rin arguing about Shirou being their Servant since for Illya, she didn’t kill him the whole time the war was on, and for Rin, Archer gave his arm to Shirou and saved his life so he should take Archer’s place now was pretty funny hahaha. It was hard to pick between the two, but seeing Illya so happy if you pick being “her Servant”, it’s kinda worth it haha.

I’ve never really been interested in Kirei, but it was nice to know that his father called him Kirei because he hoped for him to be beautiful, moralistic and I guess, a good person. And he lived up to those expectations, but never felt anything for doing what he did, so in the end, even though he did “beautiful” things that his father was proud of, he was never really the “beautiful person” he was supposed to be. It’s interesting that he forced himself to continue like that hoping he could understand this beauty through being a priest etc like his father, but I wonder, if Kirei didn’t feel so restrained by being the beautiful person he was supposed to be all his life and instead questioned it when he realised it, would he have turned out the same way? I know he says he finds beauty and interest in other people suffering and all the supposedly “bad” stuff, but I feel like questioning what’s good and bad is a part of life, and I feel like if he actually allowed himself to ponder it more instead of actually doing these “bad things” to see how it affected him, maybe he could have also understood himself better and understood his father’s beliefs better. Now, instead of questioning things, he’s just gone all out to do all the stuff that makes people suffer in order to satisfy himself for all the “happiness” he lacked when he was doing good stuff. I think in a sense, it’s kinda saddening that Kirei never really got the chance to explore himself properly because he was so obsessed about what was so great about doing good imo. I don’t blame Sakura for getting angry at Shirou. It’s like, if it was still before when he wanted to hide the war from Sakura I would understand, but she’s a crucial part to the war now, and it’s obvious that his arm isn’t really his anymore, it’s really disrespectful of him to lie to her that it’s just a bit of an injury, it’ll only make Sakura worry even more and think of herself as even more useless. His kindness will kill her someday honestly lol. I’m glad Shirou reflected on his actions quickly and apologised for prioritising “looking tough” for Sakura rather than her feelings.

Overall, for now, there’s nothing much to say about the fights since they’re really just the shadow eating up everyone lol. As for the emotions though, I’m really liking how Shirou has been dealing with the ups and downs of caring for Sakura and prioritising her. His decision was definitely the highlight of the ten days, but I also really enjoyed seeing how cute and innocent Illya was. Kinda wish she did get her own route haha. Otherwise, things are just building up for now as usual, so nothing much to comment! I’ll still say that although I see why Sakura is the way she is, I honestly still find her a rather lacklustre heroine where I don’t particularly feel anything for her? It’s like, for Saber, I got annoyed sometimes with how stubborn she was, but Shirou was also stubborn so fair enough, and I just really loved Rin because of how cool and great she was etc. But for Sakura, I honestly don’t dislike her or like her because I still feel like she’s more of a trope than a character to me? It feels like she’s there to push Shirou into doing what he needs to do to protect her, but on the other hand, there’s nothing really interesting about her? Maybe that’ll change in the second half though, so we shall see~ Honestly though, I just don’t want to see Rin or Illya die🥺

[wroughtironhero]

Boy Meets Girl

     The chips are down, so to speak.  Archer bought us time to escape from Berserker, but he didn’t survive the task himself.  Tohsaka is down her Servant, I feel like death, and Saber’s so drained I had to carry her here into these ruins myself.  Apparently the red bowman scouted this place out in advance as a potential point to retreat to, almost like he know how their rescue mission for me was going to go.

     Saber’s lying on the bed Tohsaka cleaned off for her, the two of us standing across from it.  It’s the tidiest room we could find on the second floor and the first might as well be a greenhouse.  Thankfully, the Master who just lost her Servant seems to have thought of a way to make sure this Master doesn’t lose his.

     “Yes, you and Saber have not only a spiritually connected path, but also a physical path.  So there’s no need to use difficult magic to give her energy.  All you have to do is give her energy.”

     ...?  Tohsaka’s flipped her switch into school teacher mode again.  She says all I have to do is, “give her energy,” but I don’t know any way to do that.

     “Hold on.  You say the Master gives energy, but how do I do that?”

     Tohsaka looks at me in surprise.  She stares at me for a while, and then tells me it’s simple.

     “Sleep with her.  Saber’s a girl fortunately, so it should be easy, right?”

     She says lightly.

     I put up my best argument against such a plan, not being a savage beast.  Tohsaka shoots down or merely flat our rejects my protests.  It goes without saying I’m flustered and it takes me a few interjections before I finally settle on what I should have lead with from the beginning.

     “...Oh!  Tohsaka, that plan won’t work.  Putting myself aside, Saber will definitely refuse.  Saber would never give up her body just to replenish her magical energy!”

     “Really?  Then why don’t you ask her?”

     Tohsaka’s attitude doesn’t change.  No, she just smiles smugly at me, like she’s in on a secret that’s been staring me in the face this whole time.

     “Wha-?”

     I look over at the bed, still breathing heavily, Saber is looking at us, without objecting to Toshaka.

     I stare at her bug-eyed and incredulous.  For my unbelievably beautiful, stoic, and reserved Servant to be silent over this discussion, she must simply be too embarrassed by the suggestion to immediately object to it, right?  Right?!

     “...Saber?”

     Her silence hangs in the air for what feels like an eternity.  Her ivory skin is still flushed and covered in sweat, her white blouse clinging to her transparently.  I audibly swallow as I see her teeth gently bite her bright red lower lip.  Finally, she says in a shy voice-

     “          No.  I would not mind, Shirou.”

     The windows of this place are perfectly in tact and yet somehow I hear the sound of glass shattering.  The next thing I hear is Tohsaka giggling, her hand over that smile she has whenever she’s found a weak point to tease.

     “It seems we’re all in agreement then.  At least, I’d assume so judging by that tent in your pants, Emiya-kun~.”

     I didn’t think my face could get any more red than it was and then Tohsaka points out my raging hard on in front of Saber.  My jaw hangs open as a weak sputtering is all I can muster in response.  Tohsaka just puts her finger to my lips like she’s scolding a child before walking towards the other side of the room.

     “Well, as everything appears to be in order, I think I’ll let nature run its course.  I’d almost say you two have this coming from how you’ve been dancing around each other.  Conflict once again proves to be the most prudent method of progress.”

     Reaching a sofa that can miraculously still support any weight on the room’s far end, she turns on her heels, sits down, and gives me her best, “I’m going to murder you before Illya does if you screw this up,” smile.

     “I’ll just take a seat here then.  To watch and make sure you two sleep together.  Because if you don’t, we’re all going to die.”

     Crossing her legs and folding her hands over them, she taps a finger impatiently against her thigh as she waits for the proverbial and not-so-proverbial magic to happen.

     Taking a deep, if not incredibly shaky, breath, I walk over to the bed Saber’s lying on and sit beside her.  I can feel my pulse racing as I stare at her, the moonlight shining in through the windows giving her that same radiance she had the moment I first laid eyes on her.  ...The moment I fell in love with her.

     Forcing myself to salvage what little pride I might have left, I lean closer to her, my palm cupping her cheek tenderly.  I make myself look her in the eye seriously, making sure to impress upon her that I understand the gravity of this situation.  Even if she didn’t reject the idea, I care about her far too much to do this before hearing what she wants herself.

     “...Saber, I’m sorry.  I didn’t want to have it happen like this.  I didn’t want anything else getting in the way.  So, if we’re going to do this... I need to know you want to.”

[rosaxui]

There were times in a person's life where silence could say more than any word ever spoken aloud. Even Heroic Spirits ( as grand as they were ) could have these moments; sometimes understanding them, or—like Archer—not so much. He may not be able to explain why he has his arms around her, or why his heart races alongside the relief flooding over his face; but only with confidence will he admit to being thankful for her survival ( yet again ).

─「☬」─  why did he wear red ?

the question crossed the mind of the MAGUS countless of times — but never once she had came into - conclusion - as an appropriate answer to that question. was it merely ( coincidence ) that his attire bore the same COLOR as hers ? it would be - easy - to write it off as simple chance and not thinking too much into it. that was what she TOLD herself — but everytime eyes of cerulean landed upon the fluttering cape of DEEP RED, it tugged at her ( heart ) with how the shade was EXACTLY the same as hers. the query lingered at the back of her mind.

why did he wear red ?

it was PERPLEXING why that ( inquiry ) flashed upon her mind at this moment. the moment those ROYAL BLUE glanced up into the sky — the DARKENING of magic and the omnipotent wish-granting device creating - black hole - in the sky as it spilled out corrupted content from within was now gone. everything seemed to - escalated - so quickly after she heard that voice. strength zapped from her figure when she MADE it out of the - tainted - being with the son of matou. the events after that went by in a SWIFT movement of a flash. like ( lightning ) as the WAR came to an end.

the GRAIL was destroyed.

it marked the end of their ( journey ), yet now the ruby magus was running with her weak legs. despite wanting to COLLAPSE from - exhaustion -, she pushed forward, knowing — SENSING a presence waiting for her. he was there — she heard his voice inside that thing. she heard him telling her not to GIVE UP, the way he ( opened ) the path before the CORRUPTION could take her whole.

         ‘ i refuse to listen to such pathetic whining. ’

          ‘ now go, rin ! ’

the sight of HIS BACK came to view, her mouth parted and a sound of his name ripped from her lungs. those ( speckles ) of cyan radiating from his - very - form signaled his limited time on this earth. on this realm. but what greeted her wasn’t - more words - of tease or the usual SARCASTIC REMARK he offered most of the time. she was welcomed by the - tight - embrace that his arms created. the ( strength ) he carried within his body now mellowed into a protective — meaningful embrace he took her whole body in.

the WARMTH of his frame, the thumping heartbeat echoing so ( close ) to her ears. there were no words to explain - why - he did it, but perhaps, in that VERY moment, any syllable or ( language ) of human’s knowledge would be inferior in EXPRESSING the very - emotion - that ran through both of them. no vocabulary could hope to translate this pounding HEARTS of them which seemed to be - matching - in rhythm. the flood of relief as well as the ( dreading ) of what to come in just a few minutes after this.

but he was here… she was here…

they were here… at that given moment, at that ( split ) second where the WORLD itself stopped turning and - nothing - mattered than the sound of his HEART close to her ears, the faint breathing of his where hers was ragged and uneven from the - running. - NOTHING ELSE MATTERED.

          archer archer archer…

he was STILL here… and the ( magus ) could feel the bottom of her eyes burning fiercely so. face - pushed - into his chest, head defiantly shaking as though to - deny - what was to come. the freckles of blue light a DAUNTING reminder that his ( time ) was running out — yet, nothing will separate them. not now.

fingers tightened on his back, his cloth absorbing the tears that ( escaped ) from the shut gaze of aquamarine. her - goal - was ringing louder than ever. her DESIRE rooted so deep within her ( left chest ) as the organ inside rammed against - crumbling - rib cage. she wanted to SAVE him — not just emiya shirou…

she wanted to save ( HEROIC SPIRIT EMIYA. )

the way her DIGITS clutched so tightly, so ( desperately ) at his broad back spoke of the - unsaid - words reigned over and over in her mind. the words she so BADLY wanted to say — yet so terrified that it would - shatter - this moment as a whole. she just wanted it to last, this halted moment granted to them as though the WORLD itself would be - forgiving - enough to allow them together. the moment the heiress would prolong with the TWO WORDS uttered to him — to their linked minds despite the PACT that was severed.

          don’t go…

she didn’t KNOW if he would hear it — but it didn’t matter one bit at that point in time. call her in denial, but he was - here - right now… and the world could come CRASHING DOWN and she would accept that. she would take it all to be - with - him forever.

         why did he wear red ?

         because he’s her archer.

[queenofnohr]

FGO Material III - Amakusa Shirou Tokisada Profile

Another commission! That makes three for three ^^

*If anyone is interested in commissioning me, here’s my regular commission page, and here’s my chart for Chapter America/E Pluribus Unum!

Class Skills:

Magic Resistance: A

It is the equivalent to a Saber-class Magic Resistance, however, it does not include holy sacraments.

Personal Skills:

Revelation: A

Equivalent to the skill “Intuition.” Intuition refers to the sixth sense in battle, but “Revelation” is applicable to any event related to the achievement of a goal (for example, picking the best path on a journey). It has no basis (as in, it is only experienced by the person themselves) thus it cannot be explained well to others.

True Name Discernment: B

The true name and parameters of Servants directly encountered by a Ruler are automatically revealed to them. However, if a Servant has a concealment ability, a luck check is required. (This was not implemented in FGO)

God’s Resolution: C

A skill only possessed by Rulers, it is the executive use of Command Seals against Servants.

Charisma: C-

The natural talent to command an army. At this level he cannot command a nation, but his ambition and will to throw give his life for the cause is shared by allies who have a strong connection with him. It also makes his allies more likely to believe the content of his “Revelation” skill. (This was not implemented in FGO)

Baptism Rite: B+

Magic that changes one to that of the church. It has a tremendous effect on the spirit. By linking his two Noble Phantasms, even the sublimation of a Servant is possible.

Noble Phantasm:

Twin Arm: Big Crunch

Rank: A+ Classification: Anti-Army Range: 1~200 Maximum Number of Targets: 500 people

Twin Arm: Big Crunch. Both arms are connected to a spiritual vein, the extra magic running haywire through the magic circuits in the arms. Imitating the purification of dark matter, it is a destructive Noble Phantasm that draws in the very existence of all its surroundings. Because it requires so much magical power, it is impossible to use normally. In order for this Noble Phantasm to be used to its full power, a source of magical energy must be supplied from something other than his Master.

Right Hand: Evil Eater / Left Hand: Xanadu Matrix

Rank: D Classification: Anti-Unit Range: 1 Maximum Number of Targets: 1

Right Hand: Evil Eater, Left Hand, Xanadu Matrix. The arms the kept on producing miracles for the sake of inspiring hope in believers who walked a path of suffering became Noble Phantasms. They can connect to any Thaumaturgy Foundation, acting as an all-purpose key - or skeleton key -  to use any magecraft. At the same time, his right arm has an ability equivalent to “Eye of the Mind (True),” while his left has the equivalent to “Eye of the Mind (False)” - they also strengthen his Baptism Rite.

Personal

Personality:

He is a young man of sociable and gentle demeanor. He thinks long-term to the point of abnormality, and his behavior sometimes seems strangely calculating. Rather than creating a solid wall between himself and others, he always creates distance by being just barely un-antagonistic, and is the type to ensure a relationship doesn’t become too close. If there were someone who could shorten the distance between themselves and him, it would be someone who has the strength to support his ideology.

Motivation and Attitude Toward Master:

The relationship with his Master will remain exceedingly proper. No matter how close they are, unless the Master accepts his desire to obtain the grail, they will always be subject to purge. But that is an if. If his Master agrees with his views and declares Amakusa Shirou as a human suitable to entrusting that dream to, he will gladly offer his own life.

Speech Example:

“Servant, Ruler. Amakusa Shirou Tokisada. You say I resemble someone? It’s just a coincidence.” “Tyranny, violations, massacre. Anything of that sort is what I dislike.” “Oh? …...No, it’s nothing. I don’t see eye to eye with that saint, though I still certainly wish for peace.”

Portrait of the Historical Figure:

Amakusa Shirou Tokisada was the teenage boy who lead the greatest uprising in the early Edo period, the “Shimabara Rebellion.” At the time, the peasants of Shimabara were suffering under heavy taxes implemented by the feudal lord, Matsukura Shigemasa. The reason for the unforgiving tribunals was sloppy land inspections accounting for said tribunals being more than twice the original crop yield. Not only was there this annual tribute, but population taxes added on to that as a way for the lord to  squeeze out every yen made the exasperated peasantry leap to action--- the Shimabara Rebellion, said to be the largest civil war during the Edo period, excluding the Bakumatsu period, then broke out.

And within that rebellion, there existed a spiritual leader. For the oppressed Christians, he was a child of miracles. Just like a saint, he possessed the power to walk on water, heal wounds, and command birds. These were actions not possible for humans, but miracles only attainable by a saint. His name was Amakusa Shirou Tokisada.

It is unclear how much command this teenage boy held in the rebellion. But in any case, there is no doubt his position was top ranking or close to there.

……I heard the voice of heaven, the boy murmured. In this way, the boy believed in happiness. Explaining was too difficult, but it was not necessary. Those who looked up to him as a leader fought in accordance with those words.

---Was it greed, or did he go too far?

And - he refused the suggestion of “By killing yourself, the rebellion will resolve itself;” was it because he was of the opinion that everyone should fight, if the Edo Shogunate got serious? In the tragedy following the Shimabara Rebellion, it is said that 37,000 people were killed by the shogunate forces (though some accounts differ). Amakusa Shirou Tokisada was, too, beheaded.

……In becoming a Servant, what Amakusa Shirou Tokisada seeks is the salvation of humanity. His wish is toward all of humanity, regardless of good or evil. For that purpose, he can wait even sixty years. The incineration of humanity is nigh, but he will not mention that desire---

Ties to Characters

Jeanne d’Arc: A saint. I have a faint connection to her from another certain Holy Grail War, and conducts herself in a nostalgic way. For once our ideology doesn’t clash - it’s not bad.

Edmond Dantes: An avenger. For a certain reason, I understand his existence, as I fought against it*. I feel neither longing nor sympathy toward he who harbors the desire for vengeance I myself abandoned.

Semiramis: The Queen of the Middle-East……? Fufufu, isn’t it impossible for a sham of a Heroic Spirit like me and a person like her to be connected by fate? It shouldn’t be possible, but…… Fate is strange, indeed.

Illustrator Comments:

As is often the case, he has an unintentional resemblance to someone. I wonder if I should call this the Shirou series? He has a lot of that kind of feeling. The ponytail in his final ascension gives his charm point another direction. “Who is that, the final ascension isn’t a sailor uniform or miko garb?” people said! Please come to the student council room later. Since you’re steadily reading this, teacher will give you candy as a reward.**

*If the second line didn’t clarify - he doesn’t mean he fought against Edmond Dantes as Edmond Dantes; he means he fought against Edmond Dantes’s existence as an avenger. **Unlike (or maybe similarly? I haven’t really read many of the illustrator comments) other design notes this one isn’t all that cohesive (i.e. it makes points about Amakusa’s design, but point by point instead of in a train of thought), but basically, Konoe Ototsugu compares him to Shirou, comments on his ponytail, makes a joke about the final ascension, and thanks everyone who purchased the material book.