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lovestrucked-again · 5 years

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Profiles and How They Treat You - Mafia NCT

Masterlist / Part 2 : I’m planning to do only NCT2018 group as I’m not too familiar with WayV yet unfortunately. Please leave any feedback :) Not too sure how this concept will be liked yet.

Taeil (Underboss) He manages any suspicious activities that may draw attention to the boys and the missions they’ve been completing. Considering most of their plans involve some sort of attention attracting tasks, Taeil is the one who covers all their traces (mainly because he’s the only one who can be trusted to do a good job at it). He manages to maintain good relationships with public officials such as lawyers, police officers, anyone who may be an advantage in the long run.

- Solemn, Quiet, low-key affection type - In charge of making things comes out as accident and looking like everyday problems

Johnny (International and Domestic Affairs) He’s normally one of the easiest to find within the household with his constant conversations going on. His voice can be heard almost 24/7 and usually it’s to some politician or important person. He normally sits on a comfy chair outside on the balcony from his room, trying to maintain a tranquil peace of mind while conversing with ignorant people. His involvement with international partners allows members such as Lucas and Doyoung to retrieve things they need from abroad. Additionally, keeping an association with such companies and people provides more power to NCT as a whole. - The biggest switch from stern to soft; he’ll seem extremely serious talking about work but then have the biggest reversal into throwing aegyo at everyone - Constantly making fun of Y/N (in a loving way)

Taeyong (Leader) Most of the time he’s at the office or in the headquarters (basement) sorting through missions and prioritising what needs to be done. Outside of the house Taeyong is cold-blooded, brutal, stone-faced, threatening and every other scary word you can think of. If there are deals or arrangements that need to be done with international partners, Taeyong will consult with Johnny and Ten, gathering their opinions on the matter. Majority of the time, the customers are usual business partners but the probability of betrayal when making deals is high. He doesn’t participate in field missions unless the scale of the task is considered significant. He’ll keep an eye over the boys from headquarters with the tech boys.

Due to NCT being such a notorious gang, his completely against the idea of you leaving the house alone, afraid that there’s someone who will take advantage of you or use you against him.

- Very protective of the ones he loves - Soft with the dreamies and Y/N - Code of warning, never approach this man when he’s angry. - During his relaxing mind he prefers to be in the kitchen alone or with others. He likes to experiment with cooking and a lot of the kids enjoy whatever he cooks. - Always checking the younger boys’ rooms before he goes to bed to make sure their asleep.

Yuta (Interrogation) His specialty is differing between lies and truth. He as the talent to notice little details about expressions and movements. Unlike many of the guys, Yuta is able to hide his impatience if he feels it’s necessary. He portrays himself as multiple different roles such as a sympathetic man, or play the good cop, bad cop, depending on who the person is. If nothing nice works (majority of the time), he’ll resort to using methods of discomfort including drugs and in worse case scenarios, torture.

Yuta is always your go to for advice. The way he talks about life and the things his witnessed makes his words so much more convincing and elegant. Maybe it’s because of what he does but he doesn't hesitate with advice. He’ll tell you straight what he believes and won’t go around in circles to avoid anything. He really treasures spending time one on one with everyone and so your relationship with him is one of the strongest. He’ll take you out all the time for dinner and you’ll ask him for help while you eat. - Really good at keeping straight faces - When his not inside the interrogation room, his pretty much always chatty and smiling

Kun (Medic) Due to the overloading amount of injuries and health issues the boy’s face, Kun was forced to find an assistant to help him when missions were hectic. So when Kun’s not busy looking after anyone, his either studying about health and healing processes, looking for vulnerable spots for attacking or teaching Renjun things like basic first aid as well as surgery assisting.

When it comes to the younger individuals, Kun tends to baby them out of habit. He worries a lot for the safety of the boys whenever they go on missions and his usually watching on the screens or preparing the medical equipment in advance of their return. You normally stay by his side when everyone’s gone as he portrays himself as to be the least affected. His been with Taeyong for a long time now so he is accustomed to the situation, but his fear of the boys returning with injuries beyond his capability haunts him constantly. - “Y/N can you come help me with stocktake for emergency kits.” He’ll usually call you over before the missions to help him and keep your mind busy.

Doyoung (Intel specialist) Doyoung’s job is the foundation of the missions. His job includes tracing gangs, people or items to their exact coordinates. He can gather blueprints of all buildings possible, even for abroad. During missions he’ll be set up with Jisung connected to the earpieces with all the members on the field. Doyoung will usually guide the members while Jisung hacks into control of security systems and gains access to cameras. - Constantly nagging at you and complaining how you’re not going to survive all alone in this world. - Tell’s you off for not eating your meals at the right times, not studying, not exercising or not participating in training. - Constantly sending you nutritional plans from those healthy articles for girls - He feels he has the biggest understanding in realising that girls and guys can’t be treated the same in terms of food and emotions etc.

Ten (International and Domestic Affairs) Ten and Johnny work closely together handling all the international or domestic affairs and trades. While Johnny takes most of the calls at home, Ten prefers to meet them in person and because of that, he’s barely home. He’ll go sign contracts with people and assure them of the alliance benefits that they would gain while also confirming any suspicious doubts.

Ten is one of the more affectionate older boys and after not seeing you for a long time, he’ll always try and jump scare you when his home. He loves to grab your phone when your using it and runs off to hide it making you groan in frustration. Originally he used to do it to the younger boys but they started retaliating with their own pranks and so you became the new target.

Jaehyun (Leader 2) Even though Taeyong is the leader of the group, Jaehyun’s position is almost of similar ranking. His importance is just as crucial to the group. Depending on the type of mission or severity of threat, Jaehyun will lead the boys (usually being the middle tier of difficulty). If the mission is assumed to be higher in risk, Taeyong will be on field as well. Most of the boys will report back to Jaehyun just because Taeyong always seems to have too much on his plate.

While Doyoung nags you about daily life habits, Jaehyun is more concerned about your safety and protection. He is constantly trying to get you to learn basic defence skills with weapons after your lessons with Winwin. But you refuse to touch any gun or dangerous item.

- Because you’re so desperate to help, he’ll usually leave you small tasks like researching (anything that doesnt involve violence) - He’ll joke around occasionally and leave a note on your door telling you to water the garden (even though you dont actually have one).

Winwin (Fighter - Hand to Hand combat major) He learnt how to fight from a young age earning black belts in taekwondo, judo, karate, any sort of martial arts possible. As well as that, he’s ability to predict the moves of his opponent make him extremely fast with recognising weaknesses and strengths. He teaches all the members and makes them spar occasionally just to make sure everyone’s skills are up to his liking. If someone seems to be lacking in an area, Winwin will force them for daily practices for at least 2 weeks before he decides whether they can stop or not. He’s pretty hard core when it comes to practice and takes the situation very realistically (that’s why we have a medic on hand).

After a month of staying with the boys and warming up to them, Taeyong suggested you did some training with Winwin as a precaution for self-defence. On the first day winwin said he’d take it easy and training was going to be light. However, you went back to your room that day after a 30minute visit with Kun and a ban from going back to training for a week. ⁃ “Keep your hands in front of your face Y/N” he’d say after knocking you on the side. He’d help you up but continue the training with no leniency.

Jungwoo (Social, Undercover specialist) He works closely with Lucas managing the social compartments and maintaining clients. He’ll keep an eye on potential nuisances from other gangs who visit the clubs. As well as that he uses these social environments to gather data on other gangs as well as keeping an eye on them. However, his main job includes working as an assassin. Those business partners who end up betraying Taeyong or the team? Jungwoo hunts them down. He’ll leave the house for a couple of days unexpectedly and you’ll always get a text from him before he disappears, “I’m staying at a friend’s place for a couple of days, stay safe xx.” Initially you had no idea what the actual meaning behind it was but after a couple of times you realised. After all, this wasn't just a normal family.

Lucas (Weapons and Social) Lucas is normally better with women when it comes to making deals or finding out information flaunting his looks. However, with guys, he takes a much more different approach, somewhat similar to Taeyong. You’d never be able to guess his age, he’d give of vibes of a leader himself. He’ll go out to the clubs or bars most of the nights, occasionally taking a night off at home. During the daytime his mostly sleeping, training or looking into new weaponry. He is always aware of what equipment they need or what types of bullets are necessary for the mission. As well as that, he’s most skilled with all types of weapons from guns to bows to grenades. - Tries to headlock you as a forceful method of making you “practice” hand to hand combat. - Will text you on a daily basis for no reason at all and pretty much treat you as a personal diary. - Sends memes to you and the dreamies whenever he finds something funny but most of the time, it’s not actually funny…

Mark (All-rounder) Mark is an all-rounder with skills. If he wasn't so young, Taeyong may have given him a higher position. However, Taeyong doesn't really treat Mark like his age and gives him a lot more work than the others in terms of planning and research. Mark is usually up at night very late and sleeps very little but despite that, he doesn't complain. He gets involved a lot in discussions and debates with the older guys, contributing his thoughts. He takes lead on the field if it’s not a highly risky mission.

He knows how hard it was for you to adapt to the house and the situation and because of that, he’s constantly checking in on you. Knocking on your door before bed to see if you’re okay. Mark will tell you the most when it comes to missions that they have. Most of the others will hide a lot of the truth so you don't worry but Mark finds that just causes you more concern. He keeps a few sections left out but majority of the information he’ll tell you. - Your relationship with Mark is one of the closest as his only older than you by a little and his room is just next to yours. - At the beginning when you first came, he’d keep his door left ajar just so you could see that you weren’t alone in the house. - Occasionally when you wake up at like 3am for water, you’d see the light underneath his door was still on. So you’d bring back some tea for him on your way back, telling him to sleep already.

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shuatoyou · 4 years

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highschool sweethearts

➵ pairing: jun x reader

➵ genre: fluff, slight angst but it gets better!

➵ warnings: none

➵ a/n: whew it’s been a while again huh! this one is for all my junhui stans i realised i don’t have much in my masterlist for this angel. enjoy and let me know what you think of it my lovies <3

you walk onto campus right as the bell rings signalling the start of class so you find yourself scrambling to check your timetable. even after an entire semester you still hadn't learnt the damn schedule by heart even after the many times jun had nagged at you to do so.

once you confirm which lesson you have with the piece of paper you fast walk through the crowd of students to make it to the other side of the campus. you were tired but managed to make it only three minutes late.

jun waits in class looking at the door every few moments anticipating your entrance, he already knew you would be late because you spent more time awake perfecting your assignments instead of sleeping a healthy amount of hours each night.

he watches you catch your breath at the door before quickly throwing your teacher an apology as you stumbled to your desk beside him, wasting no time in putting your bag down beside your chair and leaning your head down onto your arms on the desk. jun frowns at this, peaking at the teacher currently going on with her lesson before poking you with his pen.

“what was that for?” you hiss, turning your head slightly to look at him.

“are you not going to take notes?” he whispers back to which you groan internally. of course you had to take notes for this lesson as it was important but the one hour of sleep you got was your enemy so taking a nap through the lesson was your only priority.

“jun, i'm tired, i'll get the notes off you later.” you say with a hopeful look and jun only frowns at this again before nodding with soft eyes.

you mouth a quick thank you before attempting to travel back to dreamland. jun looks at your hunched figure, worried you would be uncomfortable, which you were, but sleeping in a classroom is never convenient now.

he takes notes for you and him, taking more than usual because he knows how precise you like your notes to be in addition to doing the work set by the teacher, making sure he took two sheets one for you to do later.

“miss y/n!”

jun jumps quickly looking to his side to see you flinch as you lifted your head off from the desk.

“are you seriously sleeping in my lesson even after you were late?” she exclaims with a look of unbelief on her face.

you sigh, not wanting to be rude so you could only apologise seeing as you were technically in the wrong.

“sorry, miss” you say quietly, holding onto the end of your desk nervously.

“i’ll see you in detention after school, y/n.” she speaks sternly pointing a finger at you in which jun rolled his eyes whereas you nodded letting the woman go back to teaching.

“i didn't even get to sleep for that long, that annoying witch.” you spit spitefully glaring at your teacher.

“your fault for not sleeping during the night.”

you roll your eyes at jun’s comment, opening up your own notebook and lazily scribbling a few notes for the rest of the lesson making the other laugh at your untidy notes that he knew for a fact you would complain about later because everything in your life had a certain order to it even if you’d hate to admit it.

when the end to the school day comes around you groan at the sound of the bell because it only notified you of the detention waiting for you. you were tired and just wanted to go home for some well needed sleep after the rough day you had but the universe had other plans for you apparently.

you somewhat manage to drag yourself out of the classroom behind the students that had rushed out seconds ago, to your surprise jun is waiting for you greeting you with a big smile as he walks over to you from the wall he had been leaning against.

“why haven't you gone home, i have detention today remember?” you ask lugging on your backpack onto your back until jun takes it and puts the strap over his free shoulder.

“i’ll join you in detention. i kinda don't want to be alone” he smiles facing forward as you look at him in confusion.

“who the hell goes to detention willingly”

“i would for you.” he says nonchalantly and his words make you blush slightly as you thank the gods above he wasn't looking at you but much to your dismay jun already knew the effects of his words on you.

“you can't just say stuff like that jun” you roll your eyes, cheeks still red while pulling your bag away from the others grip as you walk into detention with him following you closely.

“y/n, i'm surprised you showed up.” your teacher remarks as rudely as she could.

not surprised she expected the worst from you as usual, you mumbled a quick “yeah me too” under your breath before sitting down at the desk furthest away from the teachers.

“jun? how come you’re here too?” she asks and you look up at the boy who already had his gaze on you.

“didn't want to leave y/n alone.” he shrugs. your teacher shook her head at both of you before turning back to the computer screen.

“jun seriously just go.” you hiss at the boy currently sat there making paper planes.

“i'm not leaving you here alone, that's boring and you know it.” he whispers in response with a wink shutting you up because truthfully you would be more bored with jun not present in the room since he always carried some sort of crazy energy around with him.

so the two of you sit in detention talking by passing notes after being shushed numerous times and also being threatened to get kicked out which made you laugh a bit. when the two of you finally finished the full forty five minutes of detention you both left the classroom laughing.

“see! me being there made it a hundred times more fun you just don't wanna admit it y/n.” he laughed nudging you.

“fine, i'll admit it, i think i would've died under that old bat's glare if you weren't there.” you roll your eyes jokingly not wanting to boost his ego anymore than it had already been by himself.

“wanna go get some food now?”

you nod and he takes a hold of your hand dragging you over to the little cafe by the school, a place you two would rinse out on the daily with how much you came in for a little snack or sometimes a whole meal.

you look down at your hand that was now in jun’s, eyes wide as you look back up to him with the same expression. he seemed unaffected so the best you could do was fan away the warmth from your cheeks.

“what the hell” your mind raced with thoughts at the same pace as your heart now.

once the two of you are sitting down at your usual booth your mind goes everywhere but that exact moment in time and it doesn't take that long to notice.

“y/n?” he waves a hand in front of your face pulling you out your daze.

“huh?”

“you were kinda out of it but anyways what do you wanna eat? it's on me?”

“no no it's okay i’ll pay” you object to getting up but jun pulls you back to your seat.

“just tell me what you want” he sighs brushing his hand through his hair “you’re being weird anyways we’ll talk in a second”

“the usual i guess.” you mutter knowing the boy will figure out your idea of usual which always consisted of a strawberry milkshake and a grilled cheese sandwich. lots of dairy and he always complained about your crazy dairy intake but this time without a comment he walked off to order.

until he came back you took this time to compose yourself almost worried about what you two would speak about.

“now can you please explain why you’re being so weird” jun practically begs

“i'm not being weird, you are.”

“how?” he retorts

“you agreed to take my notes for me, you came to my detention and you paid for my food. weird.”

“how about the part where i held your hand?” he questions casually, taking a sip of his own drink

“huh?”

“isn't me holding your hand weird too or did you enjoy that?” he smirks as your expression changes as well as the colour of your cheeks.

“shut up” you spit. you were in denial whether you liked it or not?

“fine” jun sighs but his face lights up as another idea comes to his head. “do you wanna go out this saturday?”

“why?”

“mmm why not? it can be a date.” he hums

“jun we’re friends, w-why would we go on a date?” your voice comes out in a slight stutter causing you to mentally facepalm.

“you’re right, why would we go on a date?” he answers harshly before going back to his meal.

the two of you ate silently for the rest of your meal, you occasionally glanced at jun but his eyes were everywhere except on you.

he finished first and wasted no time in getting up and mumbling a quick bye before walking away, you stumbled to your feet grabbing your bag and going after the boy despite not finishing your food, other customers looked at you fast walk your way out.

“jun wait up” you call out but he doesnt turn around and just keeps walking in a direction that wasn't even the way to his house.

“jun.” you call out one last time once you reach him and grab his arms to turn him around.

“why did you just walk off? did i say something wrong?” you speak with clear worry in your tone.

“y/n tell me something.”

you nod waiting for him to continue.

“do you like me?” he asks, a serious look on his face that you weren't at all used to. a lot of the time the two of you would joke around about anything except a goofy smile would be plastered on his face but this time you knew he was serious.

“i don’t know.” your voice came out small.

“then forget it y/n it's fine. i’ll just see you to-”

“but i'm willing to find out jun, i'm just confused like you start acting this way out of nowhere and i don’t hate it but i'm not sure either.” you look up and meet his eyes that were softening as they also met your soft ones.

“then let me take you out on saturday.” he softly whispers, stepping closer to you.

“okay fine. but i choose where we go.”

“you got it” he promises with a chuckle, reaching to hold your hand again and turning around. “until then, i'm allowed to do this right?” he asks with a cheeky smile swinging your intertwined hands back and forth making you laugh.

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emilyjunk · 5 years

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hi im sad do you have an hcs about bemily meeting at an ice cream shop?

during beca’s senior year of high school her dad makes her get a job and the only place hiring is fucking baskin robbins so... beca starts working at baskin robbins

she hates it obviously... people suck and they’re always dropping their ice cream and she has to clean it up ://///

also sometimes people come in and get like twelve samples and then end up picking vanilla and becas like wtf why??? vanilla is the most boring flavor on the whole dumb menu????

anyway the WORST is when they get HUUUUGE groups coming in like after sporting events and things... it’s so busy and chaotic

the second worst thing is when she sees people from school because that’s embarrassing. beca always pretends she doesn’t know them.

the ultra worst thing is when people from school are in a huge group

and thats what happens every fucking saturday afternoon

this huge group of girls from school comes in after their soccer game. every saturday without fail. they’re obnoxious and always make a mess and never can decide what they want

and beca like, totally doesnt even like any of them because jocks are so lame? theyre dumb and usually dicks. the soccer girls aren’t the worst but they also arent that great

so one day beca is stressing because the soccer girls are gossipping in line and becas just fucking standing there waiting for them to pick an ice cream flavor and her shift isnt over for another hour so everything just sucks... and then... then it doesnt suck so much. bc then one of the girls is like “hey guys... let’s order and take this outside so we dont hold up the line!” and she gives beca a knowing smile... so pretty and soft and empathetic

beca recognizes her, but isn’t one hundred percent sure of her name. she’s in the grade under beca, about to be a junior, and they’ve never had a class together. but beca recognizes her face from the halls.

beca decides this girl doesnt completely suck. at least as much as the others.

after that, beca starts seeing her around all the time. she sees her in the halls at school, talking with friends at her locker. she sees her saturdays after soccer games at baskin robbins. she even sees her once at the movies when her stupid neighbor jesse drags her along to the newest superhero flick

it gets to the point where beca randomly thinks about this girl she doesnt know on and off throughout the day, and it makes her roll her eyes at herself but whatever. the girl is nice and she’s pretty and beca’s never had a gf, but she knows she really likes girls, and so just... whatever. she can think about people in her head alright? it doesnt mean anything!

“look,” cynthia rose says when the soccer girls come every saturday. “it’s beca’s crushtomer.”

“my what?” beca asks the first time this happens.

“crushtomer,” tssks her manager aubrey. “it’s when you have a crush on one of your regulars. and it’s obviously unprofessional beca.”

“she’s not my... crushtomer.”

“please. we can see your custoner from space.” beca stares and aubrey rolls her eyes. “customer boner. obviously.”

“you guys are weird.” beca scoffs.

but then the girl’s ordering and becas smiling... yeah... smiling wtf... as she scoops vanilla ice cream onto a waffle cone and god fucking dammit... she totally has a crushtomer.

alright so whatever beca has it bad for this customer but it’s whatever. she doesn’t even know the girl’s nam-

“emily!”

the girl whips her head around as her teammate comes jogging up to her and fine!!! beca knows her name.

it wouldn’t be that crazy or anything, until one time at school in the hall they make eye contact and emily is like “hey beca” and beca totally freezes.

“uh. hi emily. you, like, know my name?”

emily tilts her head to the side, her cheeks a pretty pink. “oh. yeah... i mean ive seen your nametag at baskin robbins.”

“oh.”

“i just thought i’d say hi.”

beca never thought they’d speak outside of the obligatory ice cream order and cash exchange so she’s not really sure what to do next in this situation. “uh. hi. but uh..... gotta get to class so um. bye?”

emily laughs, so cute and nice. “okay. see you around.”

and then beca is walking away and hearing giggles behind her as chloe beale whispers something in emilys ear and emily swats at her playfully. becas pretty sure she’s being laughed at, but she books it out of there too quick to care.

the next saturday, beca hates to admit it, but she’s kind of looking forward to seeing the soccer girls. it’s NOT because of her crushtomer though, okay? it’s because her shift is boring as fuck because it’s raining outside and nobody is coming in. so at least she’ll have something to do when they come

so beca waits in anticipation as her shift passes, the clock ticking down to her clock-out time... and they never come. beca finds herself almost disappointed to get off work... then she shakes out of it. fuck work. wtf?

the next saturday, beca initiates her very first small talk with emily. “so, you guys didnt come in last week. it was weird not seeing you.”

“oh,” emily pouts. “our game got rained out.” then she tilts her head, looking at beca curiously. “aw, did you miss us?” she teases.

beca snorts. “no.”

“Just me then right?”

and beca knows she’s teasing, but she feels the heat of it in her soul... and she blushes. “very funny.”

emily laughs, so bright and bubbly, the kind of laugh beca would normally hate. but she doesn’t. god she doesn’t.

emilys teammates have already all paid and taken their cones outside and it’s just beca and emily there at the register. plus CR down the counter mopping the floor but whatever, she has headphones in as she cleans so it may as well just be beca and emily okay?

“anyway.” beca says, clearing her throat. “that’s uh. $3.49.”

emily freezes, her eyes widening. she looks down at herself, pats her thighs where her pockets would be if soccer uniforms had pockets.

“shoot,” she whispers, looking around helplessly. “one sec i forgot my wallet in my car i gotta go grab it.”

“oh,” beca says. “no, it’s cool, it’s uh... on me.”

“what? no, it’s okay. i can go get it.”

“no,” beca says, already putting her employee numbers into the register. “we get free ice cream every shift and i uh... don’t need it. so you can just use my free one. it’s cool.”

emily beams at her. “wow that’s so nice. oh my god.”

“it’s nothing, no problem.”

“no, i have to make it up to you now.”

“that’s really not necessary.”

“beca.”

“emily.”

“let me.”

beca hesitates but emily is giving her this look like a fucking puppy, all cute and persuasive. “...alright... how?”

“are you working tomorrow?”

“um no?”

“let me buy you lunch.”

beca blinks. “this was literally 3 dollars. you wanna go to like mcdonalds or something?”

emily laughs. “no i think i can afford more than the dollar menu. consider it interest.”

“what the hell? what is this? wolf of wall street?”

“oh my god beca.” emily grins. “im trying to hang out with you.”

beca stares. “hang out... with me?”

“yeah? like friends?”

“oh.”

“so...?” emily leans forward, her long ponytail swishing over her shoulder. “lunch tomorrow?”

“uh... yeah okay.”

emily gives beca her phone and beca inputs her number in some kind of daze.

it’s not a date, beca reminds herself all during the lunch. even if emily pays and holds doors for her and is super touchy feely. it’s a friend thing. it’s just hard because they really get along. beca wasnt sure they would, because emily is smiley and nice and into sports. beca is surly and rude and fakes sick to escape gym every other week.

but they do get along. they get along great... emily is into music and beca shows emily the mashups she makes in her free time and they bond over bands they like and beca learns emily plays like 5 different instruments.

emily is also funny, in a weird way, and her smile makes beca’s heart do weird things that hearts probably shouldn’t do.

after, emily gives her a hug and beca totally isnt a hug person but it’s the best hug she’s ever had and emily smells good, like scented girly lotion.

after that, they’re kind of friends for real. they hang out sometimes, and beca teases emily about her ice cream order (vanilla... the most boring flavor on the menu), and she even drags jesse to one of the girls’ soccer games and they text here and there, sending song recs back and forth. once emily sends beca a recording of her playing the guitar and beca swears she falls in love a little with emily’s singing voice.

so yeah, they’re friends. then one day ... everything changes

becas just getting off her shift at baskin robbins and the soccer girls are hanging out at the tables outside, chatting and enjoying their ice cream. beca waves at emily as she walks to her car.

“beca, wait!”

emily jogs up and beca has to pretend she doesn’t think emily’s athleticism isnt the hottest thing she’s ever seen. they’re friends, she reminds herself. friends, beca. friends.

“sup?”

she throws her work bag in the back and shuts the door, turning to look at emily.

emily has a strange expression on her face. almost nervous. which is weird because emily is outgoing and friendly and talking to people doesnt really make her nervous.

“um, so.” emily glances behind her and beca peeks over her shoulder to see all the other soccer girls staring at them. emily frowns, pulling beca to the other side of her car by the arm so they’re out of view. “can i ask you something?”

“uh... sure dude?”

“what’s a crushtomer?”

beca literally almost dies on the spot. “what?”

“a crushtomer.” emily blushes, her fingers tugging at her ponytail nervously.

“oh. um. it’s like......... it’s stupid really, just some made up term thats like when a worker has a crush on one of their regulars, you know? it’s totally lame.”

“huh.” emily nods, her lips twisting. “so like, if i accidentally heard cynthia rose say im your crushtomer, then..............?”

beca really wishes she could crawl in a hole and die. “oh. you... you heard that.”

“yeah.”

“it’s just like... i mean.. we’re friends and stuff,” beca stammers. “you know, they know we’re like... fond of each other or something.”

“i see.” emily tilts her head to the side, looking beca up and down. “so it’s just a friend thing.”

“um i mean, well--”

“because like, say i didn’t want it to be a friend thing. say i wanted it to be a crush thing, like what would that mean?”

beca nearly stops breathing. “what?”

“like say maybe i think you’re cute and i like being your friend, but maybe i also have... once or twice thought about being more than friends and i dont know if you even like girls or anything and if you dont im really sorry like sooooooo sorry for making it awkward but it’s just i overheard that and i thought well just... what if it wasnt a friend thing but a real crush thing and just...” emily blushes cutely, glancing away quickly before looking back at beca. “the term is CRUSHtomer i mean it implies a romantic crush, i don’t know how to make this clearer so please just shut me up now”

“okay just... wait,” beca says, her heart going a mile a second in her chest. “You want to be my crushtomer. in a liking girls romantic way type of thing?”

“i mean...” emily shrugs. “only if you mean it that way. otherwise forgetting about this would be amazing and we could still be friends because i... i really like being your friend.”

“yes,” beca interrupts as emily opens her mouth to keep going. “no god yes. it’s stupid. crushtomer is stupid okay but yeah fine you’re my crushtomer. like... in a crush way. it’s a stupid term.”

emily stares at her for the briefest of seconds. then her face breaks open in the widest smile beca’s ever seen. “i think it’s cute.”

“it’s dumb” beca snorts.

“you wanna like, go out then?”

beca’s whole body is warm. “yeah. that’d be... cool.”

“hm.” emily is so smiley it kills. she scrunches her nose at beca. “i mean i kinda feel like we already were going out. i mean, you showed me your mixes,” she teases. “so romantic.”

“kay,” beca rolls her eyes, but she can’t stop smiling. “whatever. cant believe im gonna go out with a jock.”

emily laughs, her hand coming out to grip the top of beca’s car and effectively sandwiching beca in. “you ever kiss a jock before?”

“no,” beca murmurs, trying to keep her voice from squeaking, but emily is like, really close and holy shit she’s so pretty oh man...

“you want to?”

beca’s breath gets caught in her throat. “yeah.”

all beca can think when they kiss is that emily tastes like ice cream and for the first time in her life, beca maybe just maybe thinks vanilla might be the most exciting flavor on the menu

#bemily #headcanons #bulletfic #ice cream au #idk #btw i learned this crushtomer term at work and gf said i should do a coffee shop au with it #but then this came up and i decided yes.. ice cream au it is #so here ya go ellen #i hope u feel better soon #jesseswanson

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mistymark · 6 years

Text

the one with the step stool.

nakamoto yuta x reader // barista!au // enemies to lovers!au

summary: in which you and yuta are coworkers and he finds it funny that you can’t reach the things on the top shelf

lets get this started then

can I just say

you absolutely adored your job

like most people hated their jobs? not you

working at the quaint coffee shop was the highlight of your day; talking to the old ladies who came in for morning tea every week, having friendly debates with the suits who came in during rush hour as you made their coffees, fun discussions with the other students and making new close friends with your coworkers

all in all, work was great

was

over the summer, when it started to get really busy as the weather looked up, your manager started hiring some new summer staff

enter yuta

okay not gonna lie the first time you saw him you thought he was hella attractive and couldnt wait to work with him

but that was until he began openly flirting with all the customers, and boasting to one of your coworkers about how much money he got in tips from it

and honestly, it began to piss you off

who the hell does he think he is

he was so cute and flirty with all the customers but so teasing when it came to you

and no it wasn't cute you hate the guy shut up

“y/n can u stop staring at my ass” “im trying to see how many muffins are in the case, asshole”

“hey y/n,,, like what you see?” “I wasn't even looking at you until you said my name wtf”

and no he wasn't a fuckboy!!!!! but he was definitely flirtatious

“y/n you missed a spot” “no I didnt I just finished wiping this table down” “no, not that,,, the bit of drool,, from looking at me” “oh my god shut up”

most of the time u worked the machine whilst he was on registers

but one of the other girls in the back went away on a holiday, so u started covering her in the office

which meant you had to be able to reach all the files in the top cabinets

and okay,, you weren't SHORT per say... but u were sorta

vertically challenged

and Yuta had taken it upon himself to help bully you whenever you needed ingredients from the top shelves when u were in the kitchen

so watching u try and reach for the files every day made him cACKLE

literally it was the funniest shit to him

“do u need a hand” “oh uh, yes please” “come on y/n just take it” “YOURE HOLDING IT OVER YOUR HEAD YOU LITTLE SHIT I CANT REACH IT”

anyway

one day you come in to work

and you roll your eyes at him when he sends you a grin from the registers

and roll your eyes even hARDER when he winks

when u walk into the office you're working in, theres a small pink step stool sitting on the desk, heart and rainbow stickers stuck all over it

theres also just a pile of glitter sitting on the top, like not glued on or anything, just sitting in a pile on the black surface

immediately your smile drops and you turn around in a fit of rage, and he's already standing there smugly, his arms crossed as he leans against the doorframe

“nakamoto yuta i am going to KILL you” you march up to him, your eyes shooting daggers

his eyes widen a little as you stand as close as possible to him, your finger pointed at him “you're such an asshole you know that?”

his smile never falters “you’re really cute when you're mad”

in a huff, you stomp back to your desk, grab the step stool and set it down at his feet

he laughs softly at your actions and watches as you stand on the stool confidently

“bet im not cute anymore”

he shakes his head at you and leans back quickly to make sure he’s not going to get in trouble for abandoning his work

“nope” he assures you

not gonna lie,, it kinda hurt

he saw the smile falter on your face

“well, uh... good, I-”

he glances down at the stool, before dragging his eyes up to your face, hovering above his “not cute exactly, I'd say more hot, but it’s whatever” he grins cheekily at you as he watches the small, shy smile appear on your face

“um? thank you?” you let your hands drop and you keep eye contact as you step off the stool and kick it forcefully into the corner of the room

he doesnt leave

“dont you have something better to do? like, idk, your job?”

“shouldn't I be asking you the same thing?”

“whatever yuta”

later that week, you’re collecting your payslip from the box theyre kept in after your shift when yuta joins you

for once in his lifetime, he doesnt make any jokes as he easily reaches up and grabs it for you from above the cupboards

he huffs dramatically as he searches for his from the box “why can't they just do it in alphabetical order or something wtf”

“im sure its there somewhere”

“I can't find it”

“just grab it next week then”

“I can't, this is my last week”

“you're quitting?” you stop, looking up at him, instantly feeling as if it was your fault

he sent you a small smile because of ur concern, and continues looking through the box “no, im only summer staff, remember? and last time I checked, this is the last week of summer”

“so, you're not going to work here anymore” you couldnt believe it

“pretty sure thats what it means, yeah” he looked amusedly at you

when you didnt respond: “you gonna miss me, shortstack? no one to get the files down for you”

you snorted, “doubt it, and besides, I have a stool”

but to tell the truth, part of you was going to miss him

you continue to rifle through the pile you have in your hands and you find his

“this is yours right?” he looks up and makes to grab his payslip from you

“come on yuta just take it” you mock as you hold it out away from him

he reaches out to grab it and you move your arm behind your back, and he doesnt hesitate to reach around you to try and get it back

“um” you start, when both of his arms are wrapped around you, trying to snatch the envelope from your hands

it wasn't because you were freaked out because this wasn't normal, it was because you were freaked out because it did feel normal

it felt like he should always have his hands wrapped around you

and you didnt mean to ruin it;

he stopped instantly, taking in your position

you were standing there, one of his arms holding you to his chest to prevent you from moving, as his other reached for your hand

your other hand was resting on his shoulder as he bent down slightly to reach down your back

you stayed like that for a moment; trying to gage each other’s reactions

because if he wasn't lying; he was quite enjoying how flushed he made you, and how cute he thought your habits were while you were working

and how pretty you looked every morning when you walked in, and how you still looked gorgeous at the end of the day

okay okay maybe mAYBE yuta had a slight thing for you

but you would never take him seriously because of his constant flirting

“sorry” he pulled his arms away from you, taking a small step back

“no, no, um- here” you offered him the payslip

he took it, nodded and left

okay what the fuck just happened

did u have a thing for yuta

surely not

okay maybe

yes?

well this wasn't supposed to happen lol

the following week, after four days of not seeing yuta working with you, and with your friend coming back you were working the machine again, so u felt extra lonely

dont get me wrong, like your other friends were great, but you couldnt help miss him

especially with the small moment you'd had only a few days ago

the days passed much slower, but you continued your work diligently

“one regular iced mocha please”

your head shot up at his voice, and he sent you a wide grin as he met your eyes, then focused back on the girl serving him, grabbing out his wallet from his pocket

he stood waiting for his coffee beside the machine

“how have you been?” you tried to sound casual, not wanting to let on how excited you were to see him

he smiled happily “good, tho I miss working here”

“is that why you're back so soon”

“actually...” you looked up as you waited for the machine to finish pouring the hot liquid into a cup

“I wanted to ask if you were busy after your shift”

you felt a smile creep up on your face

you nodded happily, biting your lip to stop him from seeing your obvious reaction

“you still finish at 3 on Fridays right?”

“yeah” you blushed a little and began to focus on your coffees again

“iced coffee for,, hottest man alive?” you frowned at the docket you'd been handed

“wow y/n thats not necessary but thank you” he laughed and stepped closer to collect his coffee

“nakamoto yuta i will-”

“kill me? okay, y/n, but you’ve gotta wait” he checked the time “seven minutes until your shift ends”

seven minutes later, you hung up your apron and grabbed your things, stashing them on the chair beside yuta, as he stood up to leave

“I just have to grab my payslip” you turned around to rush to the backroom

“I got it”

you cocked your head confusedly at him

he held it up, then moved it to above his head

you jutted your hip out and crossed your arms over your chest, unimpressed

he lowered his hand, offering it out to you, level with his chest

quietly, he said “come on y/n just take it”

you cocked an eyebrow at him and reached out to grab it, but he grabbed your wrist with his free hand, pulling you into him, and bending down to reach your face, he closed the gap between your lips

you stood there, surprised, before you felt yourself smile and kiss him back

your hands forgot about the payslip and moved around his neck, pulling him against you

he moved the hand with your payslip in it around you waist, supporting you

he pulled away and you pouted at him

“dont give me that look, I came here to take you on a date, not just make out with you”

“funny, I like the second idea more” you mumbled, stashing your payslip into your bag

“hey it took me two months to work up the courage to ask you out, you’re not throwing my date away this easily”

you grabbed his hand as you stepped out onto the sidewalk

“really? two months?”

he laughed as he lead you down the busy street

“you have no idea”

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magallanica · 5 years

Text

sugar rush

in which the paladins make a quick stop at earth, lotor tries hot chocolate, and keith gets a long overdue gay awakening.

written for keitorsecretsanta

a/n: hello @parslynne, i’m your secret santa, i hope you like this fic!! i tried to fit in the stuff on your wishlist, but i think it turned out more gen than shippy, sorry >_<

happy holidays!

—

earth, lotor thinks, is a very small planet. it’s a wonder how the empire hasn’t crushed it yet, given how behind it is in terms of technology development, if the paladins’ amazement at galra machinery is anything to go by. he is wise enough to keep these thoughts to himself though, as they are briefed on a new mission in the main bridge.

the instructions are simple — mingle with the population, gather intel, find out if the leaders are willing to form an alliance, and maybe plant a few surveillance drones around if the opportunity arises.

“well,” pidge scoffs, and lotor does not need to look to know that she is pushing her spectacles up the bridge of her nose, “alliance talks might take a while, unless the united states has a new president.” lance and hunk both make a face at this, “and they’ll have to contact and discuss this with the leaders of all the other countries as well, so i think we’ll have plenty of time to mingle!” she smiles with barely-concealed glee.

“you are not run by a single government?” he finds himself asking, and gets treated to an extensive lecture on earth’s politics, not that lotor minds, of course. he’ll need all the help he can get to manage an empire that refuses to acknowledge him as its leader. the conversation soon derails to other things, like supplies and clothing. the paladins are scandalised when they realise that lotor’s idea of casual wear is simply just his flight suit, but with less armor.

“that’s it,” lance decides, “we’re going shopping.”

—

shopping, lotor thinks, is probably more trouble than it’s worth. they make it to the mall relatively unscathed, save the occasional stares and questions about his ‘cosplay’ that confuse him to no end. his ears are natural, thank you very much. so is his skin, and — “why do they think i’m wearing a wig?” he frowns, as lance makes a very valiant effort to not, in his own words ‘lose his shit’. lotor still doesn’t know what excrement has to do with laughing, but he chalks it up as one of those ‘earthling’ things that he will perhaps never comprehend. even keith, the former red paladin, looks amused at his plight, lips twitching in amusement as lotor ducks away from yet another round of staring passers-by.

“here,” pidge hands him a small, flat compact, filled with some sort of peach-coloured powder. lotor prods at it curiously. “use this. it’ll help you mask the colour of your skin,” she explains.

now this, he understands. while it has been relatively well-established that he is an ally of the coalition (although many of them are not too happy about it, if the wary, borderline hostile, glances shot at him say anything), his appearance would only serve to garner them attention, and that was the least of the things they wanted to deal with right now.

(he does not know how old the paladins are in galra years, but he does know that most of them are still children, thrust into the middle of a conflict none of them should have been involved in. this break would be good for them.)

they are dressed in what appears to be casual earthen attire — terribly unsuitable for combat, but then again, lotor supposes, there is no need for that at the moment. lotor is handed a large top, something hunk calls a ‘sweater’. he tugs it on, examining the stitching with visible curiosity. it is much unlike the form-fitting fabric used to make their combat suits, or the sturdier fabric of their armor.

the weather on earth, he soon realises, is a lot more unpredictable than on any other planet he’s visited — and he’s been alive for hundreds of decaphoebs. the wind today, in particular, is terribly strong, and he winces as his hair whips around his face, obstructing his vision as he follows the group down the city streets. pidge, lance and hunk take the lead easily, with the green paladin chattering excitedly about finally getting some “good fucking food”. lotor fails to see how… intercourse, of all things, is related to food. it must be another one of their earthling things, he decides, pulling his hair up into a much more manageable ponytail.

—

keith likes to think that he is a good person. he pays his (figurative) taxes, eats his alien veggies, does his best on missions… so what on earth did he do to deserve two years of repressed teenage hormones slamming into him like a freight truck when he watches lotor sweep his hair back into a tight ponytail. he swallows, feeling like it’s suddenly much too hot in his coat, despite the chilly winds buffeting them every few steps.

(and then, the memory of their only interaction replays in his head. specifically, the exact moment keith had tackled lotor to the ground in order to save him from getting caught up in an explosion. even more specifically — of how they had been pressed together for those few seconds, and how the way his heart had sped up might not be entirely because of the situation they were in.)

oh, he thinks, with growing dread, oh no.

is this some sort of delayed galra puberty thing? he wonders, and makes a note to ask krolia about it later. he’s dealt with enough human puberty shit, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to deal with galra puberty, if it’s even a thing.

they make a stop at a cafe to grab some hot chocolate. “we’ll go on ahead first — there’s no hot topic here, sorry keith,” lance snickers, throwing an arm over hunk as they head back out into the cold, while pidge eyes him, and then lotor, calculatively, like he’s a gadget she’s trying to tinker with. keith does not like that look. not one bit. he resolves to keep a close eye on her, just in case.

he turns his attention to his companion. aside from the tips of his ears, lotor looks like a perfectly regular human. he eyes the cup of hot chocolate in front of him with undisguised curiosity, blowing cautiously at it before taking an experimental sip. then he takes another. and another, looking absolutely starstruck. oh no, keith thinks, that’s cute.

lotor continues to sip at his hot chocolate, completely unaware that keith is probably, in pidge terms — astral projecting, as they drink. with nothing else to do, they make stilted conversation, and it is only when keith asks a tentative question about galran customs that the ice between them is broken completely. lotor comes to life before him, his eyes practically sparkling as he speaks of social norms and etiquette — less bloodthirsty things that the galra were known for. it’s terribly endearing, keith realises.

there is something different about talking to lotor, now that they’re on the same side of the war. questions spill out faster than his filter can stop them, and he finds himself listening avidly as tales of his galra ancestors fill the space between them.

all in all, their trip back to earth has been fruitful, he thinks, as they’re walking back to their lodgings together, their shoulders occasionally brushing against each other as lotor leans down to tell keith about the galra equivalent of something on the streets.

(unseen by them, pidge chances a glance back, and smiles.)

—

#vld #keitor #keitorsecretsanta #scribbles on the sand #lokei

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h3llostrang3r · 5 years

Text

A Lifetime to Remember

Perfect Match

Pairing: Dames x Mc Summary: One-Shot.Melina Park is searching for Dames. Word Count: 3,800 Warnings: Language,Sexual content implied(I don’t think it’s anything more explicit than what you would find in a Choices 30 diamond scene.) Notes: I miss Dames. I still haven’t forgiven PB. I give them all my monies and they couldn’t give me Dames during the finale.

Do you ever have the feeling that someone is watching you? You know, when you get those urges to look over your shoulder even though no one has called out your name. Did you really see something out of the corner of your eye or was your mind playing tricks? Or when you suddenly look up from whatever you were concentrating on because you could just feel a pair of eyes locked on to you. Like you can just feel the heat from their body and it sends a thrilling chill right through you? I have been feeling this more and more every day for the past few months.

Maybe I’m paranoid. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. But it feels so incredibly real to me.

I’ve spent countless hours online searching for him…

Keegan hasn’t spoken to me since we took down Rowan and Cecile. She won’t give me any information on what happened to him. I’ve reached out to her and those I’ve found connected to her, but nothing. I don’t know why she’s ignoring me, I proved myself to her before - that I’m on her and all the matches side.

No signs of him and no body found. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I can’t think the worst. I refuse. I know he’s stronger than that. I need to know if Keegan or someone was able to fix his programing, he could have lost so much of what he had by now. He has to be out there somewhere …

That’s why I have spent so much of my down time online. Throwing myself out there. My online alias spreading like wildfire, ThePurpleHairPark. I’m in chat rooms, forums, social media outlets - there’s always someone watching,reading,lurking from behind their screen. The world knows about the matches and there are so many out there helping them. So there has to be someone that has seen him. All I need is one person to point me in the right direction. Or he can come find me. I know he knows how to. Or at least his past memories would.

Can anyone help me? Actually help me? The conspiracies, the theories, they’re insightful, but I need something more.

Where are you, Dames?

Please. I need you …

Melina sits back in her chair staring at the screen. She sighs heavily before she deletes the plead and publishes her newest post to her open forum. Her purple hair slightly covers her face as she hangs her head low. Some strand clinging to her cheeks as tears start to roll down her face. After a deep breath she wipes the tears and gets up to refill on her iced tea.

Melina was at the coffee shop close by to her apartment almost every day. Always getting looks from the customers coming in and out of the shop. She was never quite sure what they thought of her and her laptop sitting in her favorite spot by the window. She didn’t really care, she just wanted to make sure that she could be seen. Her goal was to be seen by him, by Dames.

As Melina stood in line, she checked her phone. No missed calls or texts from Damien. He had been so busy with work since they saved the President, she was thrilled that Damien’s business was booming, but it made it harder for them to make time for each other. They didn’t mind their low-key nights in just them, some takeout (Melina’s cooking still not improving, whoops) and a movie while snuggling on the couch. Yet, with Damien’s ever growing case files he would often come home, grab a snack and head straight to bed. Damien was still supportive of Melina spending time with Hayden, but even she seemed to be too busy for Melina lately.

Melina orders her iced tea - which is on the house, her friend Lily is now working at the register. Lily gives her a wink and flashes her a smile as she shoos Melina along. Melina mouths a, “thank you” as goes to wait for her drink.

Melina never minded being alone and single. There was always something to do, always a way to entertain herself or keep busy until she heard from one of her friends. So why was it now, when she had two loves in her life she felt most lonely? Even Nadia found time to be with Steve and his… abs. Luckily, her cousin would always make time for her at least once a week. But ever since they came out from hiding from Eros’ radar , life never went back to being carefree for Melina.

Her heart had been so full from being loved without judgement from two amazing people in her life, but now that love - where did it go? Had she expected too much? Was it unreasonable of her to want to see them more than 2 or 3 times a week? Melina’s mind often drifted to Dames when she was alone. There was still that spot in her heart reserved just for him. Which often ached at the thought of him, not knowing where he was or if he was even okay.

She had to find him. She needed the answer. Even if he didn’t want to see her again or even want to be with her, she just wanted him to be okay.

Her name is called and she grabs her rather large drink and heads back to her spot. She stares at her computer a few moments - and there. That feeling. Her face grows warm, her heart begins to beat a little faster, the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention. Her eyes look up from under her long eyelashes - slowly scanning the faces in front of her, nothing. She slowly turns her head to the left, no one looking at her. Her back is against a wall so it definitely was not coming from behind. Melina bites her lip as she returns her gaze back to her computer. No, no, that feeling is still there.

She froze - too scared to turn her head again. Move your damn head, Melina. Do it. She ordered herself internally. Did her body know something her mind didn’t? She blinked and a tear began to fall. Exhale, Melina - slowly she let out the breath she was holding. Her body relaxed and she allowed herself to look to her right, out the window she always had to sit by.

There he was across the street, just staring at her with his hands in his pockets and a sad look on his face. That creep, that handsome fucking creep.

“Dames…” she breathlessly says out loud. Her eyes grow wide, she has to hurry or she’ll miss him. RUN she screams in her head, RUN MELINA. She scrambles out of her seat, almost knocking her laptop off the table, but she doesn’t care. Her feet threaten to trip over each other, but she corrects herself. She pushes the coffee shop door open hard and fast, if there was someone about to get hit there was no way she was going to notice. She looks across the street again, he’s not there.

No. Fuck this noise. He’s not getting away without saying a word to me.

Melina’s feet take her to the busy New York street. Her first few steps are in the clear. “Dames” she cries out with every ounce of her heart and soul. “Dames, please.” Her next few steps just miss a car passing by. Her head is spinning, the cars honking in the background seem so far away. The yelling from the other pedestrians not even registering. Her feet stay planted in the street as she frantically looks as to which direction he could have gone.

The honking becomes louder and louder, her ears now pounding. That’s when she looks to her right and coming straight for her is a yellow taxi. Time starts to slow, her breath catches - she can’t move, she wants to scream. Then the feeling, when you can feel the heat of their body against yours. Except this time - it’s real. Her focus goes to him, but is blurred in a flash.

Dames grabs her at incredible speed and throws them both safely to the sidewalk. He envelopes her in his strong arms and shields her from the fall on to the hard concrete. Her legs sting, but that pain is far away from her mind. He holds her for a long time, her face nuzzled in his chest. Her arms tucked between their bodies, her hands gripping for dear life onto his jacket. She inhales his scent, that mix of cologne and rum that reminds her of that blissful night in Paris. In his arms felt so right, she could melt into his touch and not move for hours - but she could live without the dirty sidewalk.

“Dames…” She manages to whisper, “I thought I lost you.” Her body trembles in his arms as the reality hits her. He is here, he is real, he is alive. She lifts her head from it’s safe space. Oh what she would give to kiss along that jaw and to his mouth. To sink into his lips and wrap her arms around him and never let go.

“Melina what the hell were you thinking?” His face so close to hers, his eyes filled with concern. He brings his hand up to her face to brush back her hair and it lingers as he cups her jaw. Did he dare move his face any closer? Threatening to crash his lips against hers and tangle his hands in her hair, bringing her closer to him and never leave her again.

Before she can answer they are being helped up by onlookers. Her gaze doesn’t move from him, she’s not losing him again. She thanks them and brushes them off as she moves closer to him - if he tries to run she thinks she can be quick enough to grab him by the jacket.

“Please, Dames. Just come to my apartment. Y-you don’t have to s-stay. I …” She drops her head for a moment as she lets out a deep sigh. Looking into his eyes - God, is this real? Is he really in front of me? She says, “I just want to know you’re okay. Our last talk to each other, that wasn’t fair - it wasn’t right. That’s not how things were suppo-”

“Melina…” The way he said her name made her heart skip a beat. “I’ll come with you. We can talk, I promise.” She nodded her head, still in disbelief. Instinctively, her hand intertwined with his. “Do you want to grab your laptop?” He asked as he motioned to the coffee shop.

“I’m not crossing that street again, today. I’ll text Lily to hang on to it for me.”

The walk back to Melina’s apartment was silent, apart from the noise from the city, but it didn’t phase either of them. Absentmindedly their thumbs would graze one anothers - fingers still laced together. When they reached her apartment Melina led the way, giving her hips an extra sway for him as they climbed the stairs. She wanted him to watch, and she knew he would. It took her a moment to fetch her keys from her crossbody purse and unlock her door, the adrenaline was kicking in again. This is a part of her life Dames hasn’t experienced first hand. This moment would be intimate one for both of them.

They made their way inside, Dames moved towards her living room, taking it all in. With her eyes closed, Melina slowly closed the door imagining Dames moving closer to her. His hands on either side of the door frame, closing in on her. His chest pressed against her back, his pelvis against her backside, and his lips hovering so close to her ear. She would turn around to face him and that’s when he would press her hard against the door, his lips kissing hers and his hands gripping her hips as hers would tug on his collar.

“This is a really nice place, Melina.” Dames says, snapping Melina out of her thoughts.

“Ya, thanks. Over here is the kitchen… Where I keep the rum. I need a shot, do you want a shot?” Her heart is beating so fast, her hands begin to shake. She makes her way to the cupboards and pulls out two shot glasses and his favorite rum. He sits on a barstool on the other side of her counter, one elbow propped up.

“Melina, are you alright?” His voice is filled with concern as he watches her move quickly.

“Mmhmm. I just, need to calm my nerves. It’s been so long and it’s all happening so fast.” She pours the shots and slides one over to him. He takes his and stares at it for a moment before he returns his attention to her. She raises her glass to him before throwing back the shot. He quietly lets out a sigh, then follows suit. She’s already pouring herself another round and is quick to refill his. The second shot burns her throat, but seems to do its job as it settles her down. She looks into his eyes and she can see the pain in his eyes. The pain he’s been feeling since Paris, since they left him behind in Tokyo to fight Cecile and all those matches. Her breath hitches when he takes her hand into his.

“C’mon, let’s go sit down. Okay?” He says as he leads her from the kitchen to the couch in her living room.

They settle onto the couch, space between them, but their knees slightly brush against the other as they face each other. Her arms are crossed against her body, gently tucked beneath her heaving chest. His hands are placed on his thighs, rubbing back and forth - not sure how he should proceed.

“Dames, where the hell have you been?” Melina breaks the silence, he can hear the hurt in her voice. “I have been endlessly searching for you, hoping and praying that you were alive and until today I’ve had no fucking luck.” The tears start to form in her eyes and her voices begins to shake. “Why now? I know you’ve been in contact with Keegan. Why have you been avoiding me when you know how to get a hold of me? Why? Why?” The tears fall and her cheeks are wet, she can’t wipe them away fast enough. They just won’t stop.

He hates to see her like this, it hurts him to see her cry. He wants to just wrap her in his arms again and bury his face into her hair. He wants to make her pain end, but he’s the one who did this to her - it’s his fault. It’s all his fucking fault. Fuck it, he thinks as he reaches for her and wraps her into a hug. He gently rocks her and she cries even harder. He whispers “I’m sorry” over and over into her ear. It’s not enough, she deserves more than just his words, even if he means it with every ounce of his fabricated heart and soul. “I’m so fucking sorry, Melina.” He says before she pulls back.

She wants him to look her in the eyes when he tells her why. Why he hid from her all this time without one single word, even if those words were “fuck off”, but he didn’t even give her that.

“Melina, I’m so sorry. I was a coward. I was scared to come back to you when I knew my time was coming end. Knowing I only had months to retain all my past memories and feelings. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t bring myself to be near you and lose you all over again.” Melina couldn’t believe what ehe was hearing. He didn’t even attempt to let them try -

“I eventually came into contact with Kaahn. I didn’t know if he could help me, but I couldn’t let Cecile and Rowan win. I couldn’t go down without some sort of fighting chance.” He sighed as he took Melina’s hands into his. They were so much smaller, and they were so soft. He loved how such a simple touch from her brought such warmth to him.

Her eyes grew wide, fucking Kaahn talked to Dames and he didn’t say a word?When Dames took her hands and it relaxed her for a moment, but she was still in shock. Who the hell did Kaahn think he was? “He attempted to fix my programming. Today is the last day before the original’s program was set to erase everything. Unfortunately, Kaahn doesn’t know if his override will work. I’m scheduled to… ‘reset’ if you will, at midnight. It won’t be until I wake up will I know if it worked. ”

Her world was flipping upside down. Her head was spinning, her heart was breaking, what was she supposed to do with this information? She finally had Dames back, but tonight he could be gone all over again. This wasn’t fair , Dames didn’t deserve any of this. He brushed her hair from her face, he wanted to comfort her as best as he could. He had already accepted what might happen to him, but this was all so much for Melina. He didn’t want her to have to endure all this. This wasn’t something she needed to worry about, she didn’t need to fuss over him.

“Stay with me.” Her eyes pleaded, her lips slightly parted in anticipation of his answer. “I know you wanted me to see you today. I know you weren’t expecting me to run like a mad woman into traffic, but …” she licked her lips and Dames let out a soft groan at the sight. “Please, stay. You’re finally here and I don’t think I can let you go.”

“What about Damien?” He questioned, his feelings for Melina meant the world to him, but he could never come between her and the person who he had to thank and curse for all these wonderful feelings.

She shook her head and said, “He’s surprisingly very open to me having intimate feelings for others. I don’t think you would be an exception. And it’s not about Damien right now. It’s about me and you right now, and right now I want to spend what could be last moments in your arms… if you want that too.”

That was all he needed to hear. He slowly closed the space between them, Melina’s sweet scent filling his senses, making his head swim. His lips found hers, they tasted like rum with a hint of peach from her iced tea that she had been drinking earlier. Her moan sent a tingle through his body. He needed more of her, but he was worried of what would come in the morning. Dames broke away from the kiss and asked, “Melina, are you okay with keeping it light? I want to be with you so badly, but it’s not fair to you if I won’t have any memories in the morning. I …” Dames hung his head low, scared to meet his gaze with hers. Her warm hands cupped his face and she lifted his chin until he finally looked her in the eyes.

“I am perfectly fine with being held in your arms all night long, but don’t stop kissing me.” Dames stood up and brought Melina to her feet and embraced her in a hug. He lifted her up and she hooked her legs around his waist holding on to him like she would never let go, burying her face in his neck. He led them to the bedroom where they laid in bed all night intertwined. Both Melina and Dames fighting the urge to fall asleep. Their eyelids heavy, but their lips still finding each other. Both whispering each others names on their skin, and their lips. They both succumbed to sleep, the mental exhaustion too much for them to bear any longer.

When Melina wakes up she’s not sure what time it is. She can feel the warmth of the sun peeking through her curtains. Her face is still buried in Dames chest, her new favorite place to rest her head. She’s afraid to move, not knowing what will happen if she wakes him up. Will it be him? Will he remember her and the enchanting night they just had. Just him and her wrapped in each other, never letting go. She wants to cry, the anticipation driving her mad, she didn’t want this to end. She didn’t want to lose Dames again.

Moments passed and finally, he began to stir. She held her breath, this was it, the moment of truth. What would she even say if he didn’t recognize her - she guessed she could call Kaahn or Keegan and they would know what to do. Fuck. Why did it have to be this way? Why did this even have to be a thought?

She felt pressure on the top of her head. Was that? Was that a kiss? Another, and another on her temple. She couldn’t move, does he remember?

“Melina.” He whispers in her vibrant purple locks. She looks up, and he’s smiling the brightest smile she’s ever seen. He’s beautiful, he’s perfect, he’s ….

“I remember. Everything.” He can’t stop smiling, his head clear of the fog that was his limited programing. Lifetime upon lifetime worth of memory just waiting to be stored. Kaahn did it.

“Stay with me.” Her voice gentle, she didn’t ask, she wanted him to know she wanted him.

“As long as you want me, I will always be here for you, Melina.” His lips found hers over and over again. They trailed along her jaw and down her neck. She moaned his name and begged for more. Piece by piece their clothes made their way to her bedroom floor. His groans grew louder the lower his kisses wandered. Her skin was soft, she was so beautiful and her taste was like ecstasy on his tongue. Melina’s moans drove him to please her harder and harder until she was trembling against his mouth.

“I want all of you, Dames. Please. I need you..” She begged between her panting breaths.

Dames kissed Melina ever so gently as he made his way between her legs. Their moans mingling as they moved against one another. Melina savored the pressure of Dames’ muscular body on top of her’s. She held him close, not wanting to let go. He was finally back in her life and to stay this time.

Dames is here, he is real, Dames is alive.

#perfect match #dames x mc #playchoices #30 diamond scene #long post #h3llostrang3r writes

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captainamerica77 · 4 years

Text

Rant about Work

Apologies if things are spelled wrong I’m upset and could care less about spelling or wording rn. If you read all this thanks.

So I got a new coworker this week, well technically last week but I wasn’t there. At first I thought he was just helping temporarily since we’re super short staffed(we have 3 people who can work even when its not a pandemic). But I worked with him Saturday and find out he’s now one of our new employees and he is a douche. I cannot stand him.

So backstory I’ve been at this job for 4 years, same store the whole time. I am the oldest employee at that store(time spent there not age wise). So I know how the store works, where everything goes, best practices, etc. So I get there Saturday and I’m already not a fan when he says “you know you dont have to wear a mask inside right?”. Well yes we actually do according to the state guidelines but I wasn’t arguing that since what am I going to do about it(I wore my mask except when taking a drink of my water). But then I start up the computer since he had stuff open on the other 2 and I knew it was stuff we sort of needed out. And he immediately is like “Oh there was a reason I had that closed.”. I said sorry and asked why, its just more work to close it later(its not its literally hitting like 3 buttons and waiting for it to close but go off i guess). I explain why I did it and said that one of the 2 he had open is the slowest one and he says “no its not, its faster than that one. This one is new” I explain that the day before(friday) i was there with our manager and it was still super slow and we both still preferred the other 2. Whatever he already seems like he’s a pain but I chalk it up to me opening the register.

But then I work on sending out some orders and normally our shipping stuff is in the back away from the computers. So I like to sort all the items once gathered by order so I can make as few trips to the back as possible. Well I start doing that and I say, more to myself, “Okay so let me sort these by orders first.”. “why?” he says like I’m doing something wrong. I say what and he says “well just go and do each order as you open the packing list since you’re already on the screen”. I explain that this is how i do it and it’s just easier for me like this(it helps with not accidentally packing the wrong things because I now have 2 chances to verify everything is right and since I have memory issues now i need that extra chance). Then he has the nerve to say “Well {insert manager name} and I both do it this way.” Whatever I do it his way because I didn’t want to fight. So now I’m packing the first box and instead of using the one tape holder(you know those packing ones) I use these other ones we have that have always worked better for me. My manager knows this and he doesnt really care that I prefer those since I don’t ruin anything because of them. Well then New-at-my-store asks why im using those. I once again explain to this random guy who has been nothing but condescending to me the whole time that the normal packing ones dont work too well and i prefer these. I should note both have the same position (he came from another store so that’s why we have the same position) so there is no need to be fucking trying to micromanage me. HE is all like “no i fixed that one, even {insert manager name} doesn’t like those red ones either.” Okay and? Like my manager doesn’t hate having them where none of us can use them and he doesn’t honestly care that I use them. Well the one I’m using runs out of tape so I start taking off the new roll and he says, all annoyed as if I’m inconveniencing him by just using the one he didn’t so graciously fix,”Just, ugh, just don’t take the one off the packing one.” I said I wasn’t going to, I’m grabbing one from the back(why would I even grab it from the other roll, that’s a dick move and just not necessary to do that?? Like excuse me?) Anyways I have some issues with packing the orders where I messed up putting one wrong thing and the packing slip in the wrong box, huh maybe letting me do it my way that doesn’t take anymore time than your way is good??

Okay so once that is done we don’t have anything else to do(we aren’t open to the public rn). So we’re just chilling and he’s going on about ‘oh I stream, and have to edit videos, and have this new computer I built’. okay I guess that’s cool but like everyone and their cousin streams so it’s not like a niche thing that is super impressive to me at this point( I should note I work at a certain g*ming oriented store but we won’t name it so I don’t get in trouble). Anyways he mentions he spent $1500 on the PC which isn’t cheap but its not like super expensive for building your own custom PC. I mention wow that’s a lot because even though its reasonable for the stuff it’s still a lot of money, like that isn’t pocket money for most people. I then say “Well to be fair I did spend that much on a new statue”. He asks what it is I guess to be fake polite since he’s only talked about himself by this point. Its probably 45 minutes into my 4 hours shift and like he literallly hadn’t asked me anything unless it was to low key criticize me. I say “Oh it’s a 3 foot tall Evangelion Statue, I’m really excited about it”. TO which he says “Oh only 3 ft?” I say yes, the 2 meter tall human sized one is $15,000 and i do’t have that kind of money. “I have a human sized one” I say oh that’s really cool but then he says its out in CA because he lives in a 1 bedroom with his fiancee. Lets say he does there is no need to put down my excitement about buying my largest and most expensive statue to date. Like my one friend who I met at that job also collects large statues(like Prime1, F4F, etc) and when I would talk about getting a new statue even though its cheaper and smaller than the ones he has he was always excited for me. And I was always excited for him because its exciting.

So we’re talking later,fun fact this guy did like barely anything once I was there but bragged about how amazing he was and how he did such an awesome job at his other store(he’s splitting his time between 2 stores for some fucking reason). He says he has the actual sword Elijah Wood used in Lord of the Rings. That’s right this guy “has” the real prop of Sting from the movies. But I did research today because there is no way he has that when splurging is $1500 because it’s not like you paid $40 for Sting itself. So the real prop is owned by someone out there but because they bought in an auction in 2013 for $161,000. Now lets say he could buy it then but his money situation changed. Here is the problem he said his friend who works at Universal in one of the mueseums there gave him the prop when they were done with it at the mueseum. That doesn’t happen! Why would Universal Studios just throw out a real prop used in one of the biggest movie triologies? That’s like just throwing out Luke Skywalker’s Lightsaber or Captain America’s shield. Like why would Universal say to their employees at their parks hey you can have sting just because we’re done with it???? Note: he also said he has the only flux capacitor from the Back to the Future movies and some Batman props. Like real props from the movie. The flux capacitors from the the movies were all destroyed but then they made onyl one to put in a mueseum, remember the one his friend works at, and now he has that one. The only one in existence because you know why wouldn’t he have that and Sting for free. Like all that is such horseshit. I can deal wit the lying though because I had a coworker earlier this year just like him who lied all the time even if we could tell it was fake.

Flash forward to talking about my store and how it’s got issues but I’m proud of what I did. I see him like do that silent trying to hide it scoff but I don’t say anything. Now he goes back to talking about how he is the best at his store and how amazing every thing he does it. He is going to be at our store to help us get it where our new district leader wants it. I’m like okay, I mean we’ve been closed most of the time we’ve had this new dm so we haven’t had anytime to work on this but okay fine he is that makes sense. Our DM is a dick and would totally do this. But then he starts insulting my work, not in the sense of outright saying it sucks but by trying to veil it by complimenting only his work. Back story we have to make little displays at work and I do that for my store because I’m good at these things. My customers love it and so do my coworkers. Well this guy talks about how amazing his shrines are and that he is going to be doing them here apparently my manager already said that was fine. I talk about how I do the shrines and have liked the past few I’ve done save for one because we had nothing. Well when cleaning my store he had to take one down and said “it was a pain”. I know why he said that stuff was taped down but only so people didn’t steal the marketing stuff. Then he points out stuff that could have been hung(little things maybe 8 inches tall) and weren’t rather we stuck them by the registers, I even made one a little animal crossing bag(which everyone loved btw, even my DM). The guy was insulting all my work the rest of my shift. I actually got out my DS and was playing it for the last hours because I just couldn’t keep talking to him.

The worst part is that rn he’s getting double the hours during this. Like I know I chose not to work for 2 weeks(one at the start of my state’s state of emergency and one right as they started lifting restrictions). But am I being punished? I’m going to talk to my manager when I work with him Friday and just be like these are my concerns and how I feel and see what he says. What also bothers me is this new fucker is acting like him and my manager(who is one of my boys, the term i had for my 3 coworkers since they are my boys). are buddy buddy. Like fuck you, you’re not. You know how I know because he’s sitting there saying he knows all this stuff about my manager and doesn’t even know anything about him. I really hope they don’t consider him for assistant manager since ours will probably be leaving soon. I don’t want the position but if he becomes assistant manager then I will definitely be quitting sooner rather than later. Like I’m trying to find a new job but not a ton of places are hiring where I can work( i don’t drive so I have to rely on uber and family and don’t want to make my family drive super far).

Last thing though, this guy being a dick the whole time said something that didn’t make sense to me. Apparently they wanted me as a store manager at another location but since I don’t drive they passed on me. This is weird because the highest anyone ever said they were considering me was assistant manager which is one step above my current one. Seems weird they would tell him they were considering me but not even mention it to me or even ask if i wanted to look into it. Like most places would offer it if they were that interested in someone for the position? Idk I think he’s lying about a ton of stuff and is going to be a pain to work with.

Fingers crossed he is only helping until we can get more staff at our location because I can’t deal with him.

#ranting #Ive actually been thinking of killing myself to escape all this stress and shit going on #I just cant deal with this on top of everything else #I mean I was already considering suicide like 2 weeks ago but now this is just enforcing maybe i should do it #tw suicide #personal post #thanks if you read it

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extremelyaverageincrediblynormal · 6 years

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I think its time to update this thing with everything that has been going on. A lot of beautiful things have happened the past 6 months, but when i look back, its a supercut of mental breakdowns and self harm. Surprisingly, i havent seriously thought about killing myself, but I am definitely putting a strain on my mental health, and i dont think i saw the signs until i was 4-5 months deep. until i was at the hospital. until i was crying in my work bathroom every day for 5 days. and even then, i still tried to keep telling myself if i give up, i am mentally weak. i still tell myself that know, as i try to get myself out of this situation. so lets explain the situation. I will try my best to go back to may and bring you up to speed.

I started working at this job... lets call it, the hellpit. I started in February, and they agreed to give me time off in april to go to japan. I was pretty happy about that, but i remember about a month and a half in, i seriously considered quitting, and that seemed early. I was annoyed at the lack of organization with the products we were selling, and the extra stress it put on the front of house employees. The job ITSELF wasnt so bad, it was simple tasks that were sometimes fun. But the customers were the worst. This is a private club, so we see the exact same people every single day, and i work in a half grab&go half diner. And we get treated like we are nothing. most of the time, we dont even get a “hi” or “thank you”, but we are required to smile and be polite, tell the customers to have a nice day. One girl got fired because she didnt smile enough and was kind of a quiet person. oops. But then i got my best friend hired, and i started enjoying my days a bit more. Japan gave me some perspective on life and i was running off that energy for about a month. I was also moving at the end of may so that took most of my focus. I was then asked to work in the poolside snack bar/ actual bar. I was excited, it sounded like a fun, fast-paced environment. I feel dissapointed writing that because I was so wrong. It makes me feel sad.

I would be working closer to the actual manager. Now, there is drama going on with that. there was 2 managers, R and C. R had been there for 13 years, had close relationships with the people in my workplace. she was even sister-in-laws with someone there. And then C comes in, and sees that there is a lot wrong with how the cafe is running. she wasnt totally wrong, but she has a large personality and isnt afraid to shit talk people. she came in and tried to change everything, and I dont know exactly what happened behind the scenes but R left on a 3 month stress leave, came back for 3 weeks and quit. If that doesnt tell you something about what it’s like to work along C, ive got more.

So this poolside hellbox was usually run by some other managers in the club, but C insisted on running it herself, putting her employees in it, etc. it was going to be the best year the poolside hellbox has ever seen. it was small, but it needed at least 3 people to run properly. Sure, it could be slow on cold days, but on hot days, it was a nightmare if there was only 2 people. Because we had to do everything; open, stock all the food, take orders, make orders, and pass them off, and close. it was truly exhausting and our days were always 9-10 hours, no breaks. She also stopped putting 3 people, brought it down to 2, usually 1. it was incredibly stressful. I tried to talk to her about my concerns, and she completely agreed. so i thought things would change. they did not. after some time, i injured my rotator cuff, and that lasted about a week until my entire back seized up and i had to go to the doctor. i was physically burnt out. and she had to work one of my shifts because i was medically ordered to take a break from work. writing this is making my back hurt.... funny how that works. anyways, i came back and she told me about how HARD of a day she had when she had to be in there for 6 hours. I thought to myself, good, she will finally understand. She never did. put me back in it, working 6 days a week, no tips, no breaks, 9 hours. there was a day where the air quality was so bad that my coworker with asthma expressed how ill the smoke makes him feel and that he cant breath, and she made sure he felt guilty for not telling her before hand. and then when we werent even making money that day, she blamed the people upstairs for not making the call to close it. i cant believe it.

the PSH finally closed for the year, but she wanted one more day to make a bunch of money. So there is another key player here. J. J has the title of supervisor but doesnt always act like it. C expresses how she feels about J often, and shes the only one who has the power to do something about it but does she? No.

So on this day, C is not at the Bad place, so in any other situation, J would be in charge. But C insisted that I text her and listen to what SHE said. and she said she wanted to open the PSH 2 hours early. J said it was too busy and we needed coverage. I listened to J. The fact that we didnt open 2 hours earlier really upset C. she was so mad at J for making that call, and i was upset that i was put in a position where i had no idea who to listen to.

So that was the day i decided i couldnt be there next summer. I needed to leave before the PSH opened again.

And since then, there has been a lot of hostility towards me. I remember C telling me that people might not like me because she likes me, and people dont like her. that should have been my first red flag to get the fuck out. I honestly thought she was a woman of her word, and that sticking with her was the right decision. she made me all these empty promises, like i’ll be getting a raise in September, or that she has big plans for me and my career there, or even that we were getting a company-paid night to reward us for all our hard work. and what has unfolded? nothing.

since then, it has been a series of bullshit. she comes down, yells at everyone and everything thats wrong, comments on how terrible the communication is, and how this doesnt look right, and how stupid everything is and how no one knows how to do their job, “except for you, this isnt directed towards you.” I have a feeling it may not be IN THAT MOMENT, but im sure it has been directed at me at some point. Shes manipulative, and takes advantage of people for her own personal gain, and completely lacks empathy. If it doesnt affect her, why does she care. If someone cant help her, why does she need them. that is her mentality, and she is a psycho. she wants complete control, but does nothing to change anything. She wants people to do certain things, but never tells them. She is by far, the worst manager i have ever had. not to mention she puts out the schedule thursday night-friday for the upcoming monday. so, yes, 3 days in advance. I feel betrayed, i feel disspointed, i feel burnt out.

She also made a sarcastic remark about how i could “never disappoint her”, which was the last straw for me. That was the day i decided i need to get out of there.

So, thats whats been going on at work, but behind the scenes, i have been unraveling. My manager has qualities that remind me of my mother, and not in a positive way. it’s very triggering in a way, and when i feel like i have disappointed her, i have the same feeling i would get when my mother would be disappointed in me. when she is completely unsympathetic to me being burnt out, i remember all the times my mom told me to stop feeling sorry for myself when i would cry. so i deal with daily triggers that i have a hard time shaking. there are also some things that go on in that club that really disturb my core values. I am a caring, inclusive person and these people treat us like dirt. I think most people are used to it, i even feel like im less sensitive to it as time goes by.

But i have been having mental breakdowns at least once a week. they were worse back in june or july, i remember completely trashing my room, throwing my books around and slamming my book case on the ground, and the colapsing and hyperventalating on the ground until my roommate found me. I remember scratching myself until i bled. I remember running to a park and crying in a field. I remember crying on the bathroom floor naked. I remember not being able to get out of bed. i remember punching a wall so hard i almost broke my fingers. this all happened withing 3 months. and after the big explosions came depression and giving up. I cry in the work bathroom often, i dont care about being on time, i dont care about my job, i dont care about my health or being in pain. i am in a constant fog, im exhausted and angry and i have a beautiful partner who loves me so much and i cant feel any of it, because i think i shut down everything so i can make it through the day. I’ve gained weight, i hate my body again, and i feel stuck. i feel ugly, i feel useless, i feel trapped. i need help. i need help getting out of this. i am so exhausted mentally, i do nothing with my day because im too tired. i am so incredibly miserable, i get those depression headaches every single day. I have a surgery coming up that i am not willing to compromise. maybe ill take some extra days off then? look for a job? rest my mind and prepare to job hunt and grind for a job that i might not hate? maybe i should leave now, go work at starbucks, see if i can get the time. maybe i should find a part time job, but will my manager hate me for it? does she already hate me for it? i just want to survive. i just dont want to get to the point where suicide feels like the only option again. I am not there yet, but its on the horizon, and that’s why i am scared.

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cutscarsandbrokenhearts · 7 years

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oK so once I was with my ex this was like a year ago, and we were together for about a few months or so but it was those relationships where it all feels like everything is perfect and you love each other so much and everything is just more than you dreamed! IN SAYING THAT! I quit my job one day and was on my way to another job that has been wanting me for months. (I was a manager/waitress) I called my boyfriend at the time to tell him what happened and it was around 5pm and he finishes work at 3, goes home and chills and at 7 he goes gym, but he didn’t answer so I assumed that he either fell asleep or maybe went to gym early. I didn’t bother texting him thinking he will call me back later or that after I go see this job I will see him. So I continued driving, parked my car when I got there and I spoke to the owners and they wanted me to start right away considering it was a Friday and they were understaffed. So I said okay also being said I was told I could leave at around 9 so I didn’t complain. So I was told I had to stay outside and bring some customers in, by holding menus and showing them to customers as they walked by. I was outside for a good hour just standing there and talking to some people who walked past. AND I SWEAR AS I WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE FROM THE CORNER OF MY EYE I SAW MY BOYFRIEND (at the time) AND THIS GIRL RUN ACROSS THE ROAD! HOLD HANDS AND CONTINUED WALKING IN MY DIRECTION! I swear my heart starting beating I was literally about to faint but at the same time I was so fucking angry I was literally ready to smash both of there fucking faces in but something in my heart told me to just stand there and wait. And so I did. And I kid you not they stopped right in front of me. This girl was still holding his hand, looking at me smiling and he was looking at me red in the face trying to avoid eye contact. And I didn’t know what the fuck to say. And OUT OF ALL THINGS THAT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH WAS

“Table for two” and she just looked at me in the most friendliest way and she goes

“Can I see the menu” I fucking handed it to her SO POLITELY SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR BUT BURNING WITH RAGE!

I couldn’t help myself I just wanted to know what was going on so I asked

“You guys together?”

And she’s like “yeah we are” smiling at him and grabs his hand and he’s trying to push away and she’s just still holding it and smiling

“How long you been together?”

“3 months” I swear to god, the devil in me was ready to fucking throw hands and start burning human flesh but I still shut my fucking mouth and spoke so nicely

“You guys make a cute couple” I said

“Oh thanks! Do you have a boyfriend?” Deadass I looked him right in his face and I said

“No not anymore he’s a lying cheating scumbag and I hope he burns in hell” and she thought it was funny and she was full having a conversation with me about how men that cheat are pieces of shits and I’m just standing there thinking to myself this poor girl is so fucking nice and she doesn’t know anything and if I open my mouth I could destroy something that could either A) work out for her or B) DOESNT AND WE COILD TEAM UP AND SACRAFICE HIM. So I decided to shutup. In the end after the awkward but not that bad conversation between me and this mistress they ended up walking to another restaurant because my ex wanted to eat somewhere else. WHICH WAS FINE WITH ME!

After my shift, I copped about 70 missed calls and 30 messages from this scum bag wanting to see me and how sorry he was and blah blah blah. So my dumb ass decided to not reply and wait till 3 in the morning to answer his calls because I knew he had work at 5:30am to see him. And so I drove to his house, thinking of everything I could say. Picked him up and ONCE AGAIN THIS IS WHAT CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH

“How was your day!?” ACTING COMPLETELY NORMAL AND HE IS LOOKING AT ME LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU BUT IM JUST LOOKING DUMB AS FUCK.

We continued to small talk, acting as if nothing ever happened, and I got so lost in our conversation I realised we’ve been driving for 30 minutes and ended up in another area. I parked the car. And that’s when we decided to talk serious. He spoke all this shit about how sorry he was and that it was his cousin and then it was his friend and whatever. Mind you I haven’t even spoken yet. And then when I decided to talk. I don’t know who unleashed this person and where the fuck she came from but I looked at him dead in the face

“Do you still want to be with me or not”

He said “no”

And I SAID

“Well like the dog you are you can fucking get out of my car and walk home because if you think for a second that I am driving you home, you have rocks in your big head.”

And HE SAID

“Please don’t make me walk, I don’t have my wallet on me and my phones dead. And it’s like hours walk”

I said “GET OUT NOW!” And so he did.

1 year now they are getting married and so am I to someone who knows my worth and to SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME UNCONDIOTIONALLY SO LADIES IF YOU THINK THAT YOU LOST SOMETHING MEANINGFUL IN YOUR LIFE BE FUCKING PAITENT BECAUSE SOMETHING BETTER COMES ALONG AND IF THE GIRL HE CHEATS ON YOU WITH ENDS UP BEING THERE FATE REMWBER THAT SHES EATING YOUR FUCKING CRUMBS

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