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charpository24 · 2 months

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My ex-partner found out I'm on Hinge.

I'm pretty freaked out about it. A lot led up to make me feel this way or think these thoughts, but earlier I was driving after walking out on my bible study group and a huge part of me wanted to wrap myself around the incoming lampposts or trees. Though I already texted my friend I'd be coming over.

So, I'm safe.

It's 11:36 pm so I don't really know how much detail I'm gonna get into or how sound I'm gonna be, but whatever. Here goes.

How did it all go down?

PART 1:

> show up to bible study

> two members come in, they're tense about something

> one of them is ex-partner's protective cousin and used to be my bff, heavy shit there

> atmosphere is kind of uncomfortable

> ex comes in

> conversation is happening, generally lighthearted but I'm internally freaking out cause he's avoiding eye contact and ignoring me

> I'm an anxious genius so of course I'm stewing.

> I finally just speak up and throw a "I'm sorry, I have to go"

> leave.

PART 2:

> I'm getting into my car and I saw that ex has run after me, door is open and he + cousin comes to check on me.

> TALK TLDR:

cousin:

- we're here for you

- how can we help

bf:

- wants to talk with me privately

PART 3:

> ex gets into car with me

> TALK TLDR:

- r u ok

- he's ok, some days good some days bad.

- he wasn't avoiding eye contact cause he hated me, just unsure what to do

- found out from someone that I was on hinge.

-> can't police me, ofc it threw him but he's worried I might continue my toxic relationship cycle again

- I explain I'm not looking for a relationship. Just did it cause I technically could.

- do you love me still? miss me?

- maybe there will be a second chance in the future? -> (I do not confirm this.)

- are you in anguish cause you regret breaking up with me and miss the relationship? -> no

- why? -> I feel like a horrible person (more on that later)

- can we hug? -> sigh

-> hug is long. there's something behind it. he loves me still and I can feel it.

PART 4:

> I ask if I can leave. I don't want to go back to the bible study group after exiting so abruptly.

> exits the car with another hug.

> impaired driving (CRYING)

> drive to bestie -> talk -> pet stupid dog -> fill gas -> profit

---

Here are some thoughts.

- I'm feeling quite suffocated living in... the lower mainland surrounded by people who've watched me grow up. People watch closely. Should I move away? How?

- I left my old church community. the news of the breakup is spreading like wildfire. I hate being perceived.

- extra anxious about exposure. Deleted hinge cause I know people are gonna spread shit.. news got to him so fucking fast. It really made me think of k*lling myself because I felt like I couldn't do anything

- first "adult"/mature relationship

- other exes gave me a reason to hate them, moved on fast

- i still love and care for him. he's a really really fucking good person.

- I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON

- ex is still in love with me. I can tell he still wants to continue the relationship. I don't deserve it.

- I hooked up with someone on Hinge (he doesn't know that... I wouldn't disclose it)

- he's been giving me so much grace given that I broke his heart and initiated the breakup.

- he wanted to get married and I'm sitting here being a hoe

- I've just made a mess of myself.

- He's sat through the worst mental health episodes I've had and loved me through it. Still does. I ended the relationship cause I'm selfish.

- our relationship started shortly after my previous one ended. people were quick to point out it was a rebound on my end. Funny how things turned out, I've broken his heart.

- I did all this to him. and he is genuinely the best natured and well-intentioned person I've met. It's insane to me how hard I fumbled the bag and there is so much fucking wrong with me and my mental state.

Here is the combined rebuttal of myself and bestie after talking:

- hinge

- still exploring. I broke up bc idk what I want, and by going on hinge im exploring

- I'm technically allowed to, + it's none of his business or his friends

- extra grace from my ex is something I should be thankful for so I have room to grow

- you have to 'like' the person + their company more than you love them to sustain a relationship forever

- near the end of the relationship, it looked like I was living and in it for him and not for myself to be happy with him (? if that makes sense)

- I tried really, really fucking hard to make it work

-> felt like something was wrong with me the whole fucking time. it's painful.

- still have to love yourself and put yourself first

-> who else will be there for you if not you first????????

-> priority avenue to explore over pouring all my love into a relationship and neglecting self

---

Anyway I summed it up in note form cause I have no fucking finesse. I'm tired and sad and feeling better, grounded and not trying to k*ll myself now.

Figuring out how to proceed without cutting every single tie I have.

The opinion I have on myself being a terrible person runs really deep. I'm not really proud of myself or my achievements or the things I worked hard for. The feelings of pride or happiness don't really register, and I don't have it in me to celebrate when others tell me to. Because of my mental health, lacklustre functioning, relationship issues and my struggle to maintain friendships, I genuinely felt like a curse on the earth. I really really thought and felt like it would be better off without me. I know it sounds dramatic as fuck but I can't tell you that the earth is better with me.

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erosjock · 3 years

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27 Ways to Get Over a Breakup, Like, Right Now

Going through a breakup is low-key the best time to rebrand yourself. You can be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to do, and try anything you want to try without having to consider anyone but yourself.

But considering breakups = losing someone who was consistently in your life, it can be easy to dwell on the past instead of looking at what your future self can bring to the table. Completely understandable.

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So to help you cope with all things breakup (since, hi, your future best self is waiting), we’ve sourced a bunch of tangible, practical ways you can actually get over someone according to experts who want to help. Because yes, sometimes buying yourself flowers at the grocery store is a lil start.

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How You Get Over a Breakup, by Zodiac Sign

1. Shower daily. I know this seems small, but trust, it makes all the difference. “Prioritizing your hygiene and taking pride in how you look can often make you feel better inside,” says licensed clinical psychologist Kristie Norwood. So get yourself a morning and nighttime routine that requires a rinse in the shower. After all, shower thoughts are the best kind of thoughts, and it might be super therapeutic. Small wins are the best wins.

2. Create a vision board. Yup, it’s time to paint a badass picture of what your future is about to look like. (Time to get on that manifesting kick). “After breakups, it’s important to figure out what your life will look like without the relationship as it was,” says Norwood. So pick up some magazines—yes, full permission to grab some Cosmos— and cut out images that you put into art your life goals and desires.

3. Treat yourself to a new sex toy. Luckily for you, vibrators come completely drama-free (and in some cases, are better than the real deal). “Cleanse yourself of any negative energy through an orgasm,” says sex educator Yael Rosenstock Gonzalez. An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away (...that’s the saying, right?).

4. Go to therapy It’s time to make an appointment for therapy, suggests licensed clinical social worker Amalia Miralrío. Especially considering an unbiased perspective could offer you insight that you weren’t able to process yourself. Get started with some free options here.

Benefits of the No Contact Rule Post-Breakup

5. Buy yourself a big bouquet of pink roses. Put them in a vase, water them, and wait for them to wilt. When it’s time to throw them out, check in with your feelings. Guess what? By the time those roses die, you’ll already feel better. Then, keep buying yourself roses, recommends Veronica Yip, a San Diego resident who swears by this hack.

6. Visit a rage room. It’s…a legit thing. “Get out all your anger and smash objects to your heart’s content,” recommends Lauren Cook, who holds a master’s in marriage and family therapy.

7. Go on that vacation you’ve been dying to—even if it’s by yourself. “Getting away to an exotic location or somewhere peaceful is a potent source of distraction,” says therapist Rev. Sheri Heller. What’s better than lounging beachside with a good book, frozen drank, and the ocean waves? Talk about self-care.

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8. Rearrange your home. Get rid of all those bad memories. “A new look creates space for new memories. Out with the old, inviting the new,” recommends Krysta Monet creator and founder of The Feminine Truth.

9. Purge your relationship junk drawer. Yes, this includes that ticket stub you’ve kept from your first date. “You don’t need the reminders of a relationship that is no longer,” says Robyn Koenig, professional dating coach and CEO at Rare Find.

How Long It Actually Takes to Get Over a Breakup

10. Write hate mail to your ex. But don’t actually send it (and tell your sister not to either, à la Lara Jean). “The caveat is not to mail the letter but to do a ceremonial burning to get rid of the toxic energy,” recommends Samantha Gregory, author of No More Crumbs: How to Stop Dating for Crumbs and Get the Cake You Finally Deserve.

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11. Say yes to everything. “This is especially useful if you’ve been in a long-term relationship where you’ve compromised and negotiated what you ate, where you went, what you watched, and who you socialized with,” says Trish McDermott, CEO of Meetopolis Dating. “Who are you and what makes just *you* happy? Now is the time to find out.”

12. Eat alone. Whether you take yourself out to your favorite Thai place or make a home-cooked dinner, sit at the table and eat in silence. “Becoming comfortable with newly found silence is part of the recovery process,” says Megan Cannon, owner of Back to Balance Counseling.

13. Sign up for a boxing class—or any other type of fighting class. “Sometimes you need to find an outlet to divert the negative energies you get after a breakup,” says Celia Schweyer, dating and relationship expert at DatingScout. Trust, punching the eff out of something will *def* help with this added stress.

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14. Block them from your Instagram/Snapchat. If the temptation to see if they’ve been paying attention to your Stories is too much, just block them. This way, when you do start to get out there and share your day-to-day activities again, you’ll know there’s zero part of you that’s performatively “acting over it” in the hopes your ex will see it.

15. Don’t shit-talk your ex too much. Sure, it feels good to trash-talk your ex with your besties, and hearing that you were better than them from the start feels like a drug, but don’t rely on it. Hearing your friends bring down someone who made you feel shitty feels like it should be justified in the grand karmic scheme of things, but your health and happiness need not be contingent on someone else’s pain and suffering.

16. Don’t immediately suggest to “stay friends”—and if they do, tell them you need to think about it. This is an impulse because you don’t want to seem like you care too much about the breakup. Because you’re so chill. You’re so chill that your heart isn’t beating. Aaand, you’re dead. But truthfully, during this stilted, awkward breaking-up period, it’s hard to tell whether you’ll be able to be friends. Generally, one person wants to be friends and the other wants to be more. Gotta work that shit out before it can be a healthy friendship…if it ever can be. You’re not admitting defeat by not staying friends with them.

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tbehartoo · 6 years

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Besties and Breakups

A/N: Thanks @marichat4lyf for all your help especially the idea for the comfort food idea and @sassyhazelowl for the beta work!

Rating: General

Characters: Juleka and Rose

WC: 1868

Summary: Rose needs some comforting and Juleka knows just what is needed.

Juleka looked at her phone to see who was calling at this time on a Friday night. Rose? That could only mean one thing. She jumped up from the couch already putting on her boots.

“Hey Rosie,” she said grabbing her jacket.

She was expecting the wail but the volume was even louder than she had anticipated.

“Juuuuuuuules!”

Jacket? Check. Helmet? On the table by the door. Keys? In her hand. Remember to grab the backpack!

“He dumped me, Jules!” the sob that followed wrenched at Juleka’s heart.

“I’m sorry, Rose. That really sucks.”

She switched the phone to the other side so that she could use her shoulder to hold it while she locked the door, even if all she could hear were the cries of her friend.

“I thought this guy was different,” Rose said once she’d blown her nose.

“That’s because you always see the best in people, sweetheart. It’s why everyone likes to be around you.” Carefully get down the stairs to the street, now.

“But I thought that this one would be the one. You know, that one that you can’t wait to see first thing in the morning and the last thing at night? The one you can sit in a room with and just be glad they are there with you even if you aren’t talking?” She hiccuped a little. “He was the one! At least I thought so. The one that would want to make a life together with me. I could almost see our children reflected in the depths of his eyes. See us as a little old couple going for slow walks in the park and spoiling the grand kids. Just being together until the end. You know?”

“I know, Rosie,” Juleka said quietly as she straddled the motorcycle. “I’m gonna put you on speaker now. If I lose you I’ll call you right back. Okay?”

There was another small hiccup and then... “Okay.”

Juleka switched on the bluetooth speaker in her helmet. “Are you still there?” she asked as she put her phone in her jacket pocket.

“I’m still here,” Rose said miserably. “I can’t believe that he dumped me just like that.”

“What happened?” Juleka looked for oncoming traffic and pulled out onto the street.

“Well, we were going to a movie and then to dinner,” Rose said.

“Did you even make it to the movie?” Juleka asked, remembering the one one guy that had brought his new girl to the theater for Rose to meet before he dropped her. He had still expected Rose to join them for the date and possibly for other things afterward, and had been completely baffled when she had run out of the cinema.

“Yes,” Rose said. “It wasn’t like with Alexandre, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Juleka snickered. “That was precisely who I was thinking of,” she turned down the street looking for a parking place. “You thought he was the one as well,” she pointed out, “but afterward …”

“Afterward we all realized what an actual creep he was, and that I was lucky to have made it out of his grasp,” Rose said with a sigh.

“Yes,” Juleka said with a firm nod. “He was most assuredly NOT the one for our Rose.” She put down the kickstand and, leaving her helmet on, went into the shop. “And before the creep was the crybaby.”

“Pierre wasn’t a crybaby,” Rose huffed. “He was a sensitive soul.”

“He was always close to tears and would turn them on anytime you didn’t agree with him, Rose,” Juleka said flatly. “He was sensitive only to the needs of Pierre and was willing to make you unhappy if it made his world as he liked it.” She grabbed one of the items she had been looking for and a similar item next to it. “You only liked him because he had that long hair and wore those frilly blouses.”

Rose let out a small giggle. “They weren’t frilly blouses,” she objected but not strenuously.

“They had lace, Rose!” This was an argument they’d had before. “Lace on the collar and the cuff makes it a frilly blouse.” She continued along the shelf till she came to the smaller bottles she’d need. “He dressed like a poet from the 1700’s and went around needing someone to cheer him up because all he saw was what is wrong in the world. He was like your exact opposite,” she chose the three that she knew were Rose’s favorites then had one more aisle to go. “And before the crybaby was the tank,” Juleka said moving the conversation along.

“Jérémy was a very nice, but misunderstood, young man,” Rose objected.

“Rose,” Juleka’s voice managed to sound as if she were peering over her reading glasses while wearing a bun and a severe look of disapproval, “Don’t give me that. Everyone but you could see that he liked to be the biggest and strongest guy in the room because that meant he could hit everyone else harder.” A warm tone came into her voice. “I still love the memory of tiny, little Marinette dropping him to the floor in one hit for what he said to you.”

“Well, we both know that would have been you if Adrien hadn’t been holding you back,” Rose said.

“Trrrrue,” she said distractedly as she reached for her last item. “Remind me to punch Adrien’s arm next time we see him.”

“You’ve asked me to do that everytime we’re supposed to meet up with them,” Rose said with a small laugh. “The poor boy’s arm would have fallen off by now if I actually did it.”

Juleka sighed. “Yeah, I somehow find myself giving him a hug instead of a hit for it. Next week it’ll be both,” she said firmly.

This time Rose had no difficulties laughing at Juleka’s statement. Juleka made it through the store without having to talk to a cashier. She was so glad that self-check out was an option here.

“What about the short, blond hobbit?” Juleka asked. “Why wasn’t he good enough for you?”

Rose sighed. “That one really was a mistake for both of us. Paul had just broken up with Axel, and I’d just broken up with Corentin, and we both had that literature class together.”

“Ah yes,” Juleka said as she got back on her motorcycle. “Rebounded right off each other.”

She got the bike back out into traffic.

Rose sighed. “It’s just that, well so many of our friends have gotten married or engaged, and I’d like to find someone that wants to share their life with me, too. You know?”

“I know,” she said slowly. “But maybe you don’t need to try so hard?” There was silence between them for a moment. “I’m sure there’s someone out there Rosie that wants to be happy with you, too. Maybe they’re trying just as hard to find you, but you just keep missing each other, or you’re not in the right place to really see each other right now. Or maybe your person doesn’t live here yet. Perhaps they are only going to meet you when you’re on one of your family trips.” Rose chuckled. Her mom was notorious for setting her daughter up on impromptu dates in whatever country they were visiting, it made for some very interesting family outings. “I have no doubt that you will find your person. And when you’re with them then all of this heartache will go away and you’ll see that the wait was worth it.”

“But I’m so tired of waiting,” Rose whispered.

The tears were back and Juleka let her cry. Sometimes you just need to let the salty rivers flow. She’d taken to murmuring quiet words of encouragement as Rose apologized for her tears. Rose didn’t often cry, but when she did it was because of deep pain, and Juleka always thought it was best to get the pain out. At one point the small cries turned to deep sobs, and Juleka was annoyed at not being able to be there to hug and rock her friend as she cried.

Finally! The entrance to the parking garage was in view and Juleka could pull into a parking spot reserved for motorcycles. She hurried over to the elevator and pressed the button.

“I’ve got to go now, sweets,” she said gently into her helmet. “See you soon?”

“What? Oh, okay,” Rose sniffled into a tissue before hanging up.

It felt like forever for the doors to open but the car eventually arrived. Juleka stepped inside and had to wait for people to get in and out on nearly every floor. She tapped her booted foot in irritation until the doors opened on the 47th floor.

She had to make nearly a full circuit of the floor to get to #89, but her keys were in her hand and it was but a moment before she was in the apartment and hurrying over to the couch.

There was Rose curled up with the giant black dragon plushie that Juleka had won for her in lycée, dried tear tracks on her cheeks, and red rimmed eyes. The pink and purple throw that Marinette had made Rose for her last birthday was wrapped around her shoulders and it was still slightly shaking. Next to the couch was an overflowing garbage can filled with at least two tissue boxes’ worth of kleenex. Juleka heard Rose noisily blow her nose and couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped.

Rose immediately turned at the sound. Her face almost managed a sincere smile before tears sprang up into her eyes.

“Never fear, your Juleka’s here!” she said as she tackled the little blonde with a huge hug after dropping her helmet on the floor.

“You came!”

“Of course I came,” Juleka said as she drew back far enough to see Rose’s face. “And I’ve brought reinforcements!”

“You don’t mean...” Rose asked

Juleka nodded.

“And did you also get?”

“Yes. Though I still have no idea how you can like it.”

“What about the sprinkles?”

“You think I forgot the sprinkles?” Juleka put a hand to her chest. “I’m shocked. Shocked, dismayed, and hurt that you’d think I’d forget them.”

“Well you do have a track history of-”

“They were out of sprinkles!” She stood up as she headed to the kitchen. “As much as I love you, I cannot make the store just magically have them because you have a need,” she huffed.

Rose laughed and followed her, pulling out bowls and spoons as Juleka unpacked her bag.

“Vanilla ice cream, magic hardening chocolate topping, and sprinkles,” Juleka announced as she pulled each item from the pack.

Rose squealed and gave Juleka another hug. “Thanks Jules!”

“Anything for you,” she said with a smile. “Well, anything except that waxy chocolate topping,” she said as she pulled out another container, this one full of caramel. “Now how about we make our sundae’s and throw on your favorite break up movie?”

“Ice cream and monster movies?” Rose said with a grin. “How did I ever get lucky enough to have you as my friend?”

Juleka shrugged her shoulders. “What are best friends for?”

#miraculous ladybug #juleka couffaine #rose lavillant #besties and breakups #writing #mine

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keldae · 6 years

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I gotta ask about the "nasty break-up with the Havoc Squad CO" because a) "looong story" and also I have a fixation with OC/OC pairings.

Gather around, kids! This is a story back from the dark times, before KOTFE, I think even before Shadow of Revan, back when Xaja was an RP-only character. (this is so far back that Reanden was still a vaguely-formed NPC at the time that this shit went down, and I had no idea what the hell I was doing with Korin and Sorand. >.>)

In this far off distant time Xaja, being a naive young (depending which timeline we’re using, Knight for fanfic, Padawan for in-game) Jedi, met my friend’s OC, the Trooper aka Darren Kota. They had a thing going for a significant amount of time, and it ended poorly with an Imperial prison.

Now this is where the stories diverge a bit. In the Axiom RP ‘verse, Xaja was captured and framed for Sorand’s death (while he survived and defected to the Republic under a fake name), and Darren got his ass captured trying to save her in the middle of a Theron-level idiot plan. In fanfic, we know what happens to the Knight in Chapter Two. In both ‘verses, Reanden got to be all super-seekrit-spy and either let the Republic strike team in to rescue her (RP), or broke her out and got her to her ship himself (fanfic) (or so he retroactively insisted like two years later when I finally gave up and made him a proper character instead of a background NPC). Spydad to the rescue!

In the RP ‘verse, Xaja found out she was pregnant after being rescued. Darren flipped out when she refused an abortion because of her oaths to protect all life and she felt like she was going to completely lose it if she felt another thing die. He wound up being this close to hitting her to trigger a miscarriage, and that’s when another friend’s OC, Jakar Forseti (the Barsen’thor and Xaja’s bestie) swooped in to be all menacing and scary-protective. Darren left and Xaja never spoke to him again… even when she found out he was the biological father of her twins, which she surrendered to the Jedi before returning to active duty. (Given the circumstances surrounding said pregnancy, the Council didn’t discipline her for having children since as far as anyone knew, she hadn’t had a say in the matter. The secret of their true father is one that she’ll take to her grave, and she’s not sure if that’s to spite Darren or to keep her children protected from him.)

In the fanfic ‘verse (which is the ‘canon’ for the Xaja you folks know and love, or at least know and hopefully don’t hate!), she was ordered to Coruscant for a stint in a medical facility to make sure the Sith hadn’t done any further damage to her. Darren found out where she was… after he’d seen the files and reports of what she’d been doing while under Vitiate’s control. He didn’t believe her when she said she hadn’t actually fallen to the Dark Side, accused her of being a traitor, and in this ‘verse I think he actually did lose his shit enough to land a blow on her, about four and a half seconds before Kira came flying in to kick his ass and Jorgan literally hauled him away before he could get his ass handed to him by an angry Jedi. Xaja rebounded onto Doc very briefly, then decided it wasn’t fair for him to be stuck with her new baggage like this, and swore off men and relationships entirely until Theron Shan walked into her life. (I suspect Theron probably found surveillance footage or a report or something of that little incident while reading up on Xaja’s dossier pre-Forged Alliances and plans on shooting Darren if he ever meets him. If her dad or her brothers don’t get to him first. Or Kira.)

So yes. Both official versions of Xaja’s gawd-awful breakup with her first serious boyfriend and the reason she didn’t look at a guy for years afterward. XD

#thanks for the ask!#headcanons #from faaaaar back in the day when Xaja was only for RP #practically ancient history #Xaja may have actively hated men for a while after that #and if she ever does meet him again #she's going to probably kill him

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twinsoflima-blog1 · 7 years

Photo

WHAT YOU SEE

full name: Elliot Jude “Starchild” Gilbert

face claim: Adam Lambert

age: 26

birthday: November 11th, 1991

birth order: First

hometown: Paramus, NJ (The Land of Malls)

gender identity: Male

pronouns: He/Him/His

orientation: Homosexual, homoromantic

occupation: Barista-slash-yoga instructor-slash singer

WHERE THEY’VE BEEN

[tw for death, drug abuse, and an abusive relationship]

On the Hudson River Line: Elliott “Starchild” Gilbert grew up in the town of Paramus, NJ. Really, the only thing Paramus is known for is the strip malls that run through town. It was almost the most boring place in the world, but luckily for one Elliott Gilbert, it was a quick hop skip and a jump to New York City. Growing up so close to the epicenter of the universe might have made someone else a little jaded, but Elliott could feel the magic of the city in his bones from the second he stepped onto a train into Penn Station. One of the most iconic moments of his life was the time that he first saw a band play in a live music venue. There was so much energy– from the crowd, the performers, and the music itself. Elliott knew that it was something he wanted to be a part of and simply wouldn’t take no for an answer. He begged his mother for singing lessons, which she immediately obliged him, and that took Elliott right through his teenage years.

Finding his voice. When Elliott was fifteen, his father, a police office in Paramus, was killed on the job in a very tragic accident. Elliott really didn’t know how to process it, and for a period of a few months, thought of himself as someone with a lost voice. Every time he tried to open his mouth to sing, nothing came out. Instead, he focused on putting his thoughts on paper and thus, Elliott’s love of songwriting was born. He uses it as a diary more than anything else– while he struggles with writing “hits” like the superstar music idols that he admires so much, he finds it easier to write emotional ballads than anything else.

Concrete jungle where dreams are made. Probably the best day of his life was the day that he was accepted into NYU’s program for music business, with a minor in composition. Finally, Elliott was going to live out his dream of being a professional singer, and there was nothing that was going to stop him from that. Elliott threw himself into New York City, but a little too much. He found himself suddenly too busy for his family back home, and things got even worse for him when he met Gabriel. They spent several happy months together before Gabe started to drag Elliott down into a black hole of toxicity with him. Soon, Elliott’s entire world in New York became Gabe and his drama. He didn’t realize until another year into the situation that Gabe had been actively cheating on him for the entire time that they were together. Determined to make a fresh start, they both decided to pick up and move somewhere brand-new.

Back to black. Enter Lima, where Elliott felt at home in because of his status as a twin. Gabe, too, had a twin, which made them two peas in a pod in the tiny town, and for a while, things were okay. Elliott isn’t sure what happened in the meanwhile, but he woke up one day to find Gabriel completely gone. Despite his attempts to contact his ex, it’s been made clear to Elliott that Gabe no longer wants anything to do with him. Even though Elliott is still somewhat devastated after Gabriel’s departure, he’s still determined to make the most out of his lease and enjoy his time in Lima.

WHERE THEY’RE GOING

PLOTTING

FRIENDS PLS: Jam buddies, band mates, people who love going to see live music or a sounding board for his songwriting, Elliott definitely needs people he can vibe with. He’s also very much into his own fashion and style so shopping buddies will be a go. In short, Elliott really needs people who can get him out of his own head and show him a good time. I’d love to build a supportive network of people for him to be around now that he’s sticking around Lima.

REBOUND: Elliott’s just come off of a rough breakup, so he’s definitely not looking for anything serious right now. However, that’s not to say that he won’t let himself have a little bit of fun with the right person, should that person decide to come along.

SIBLING/FAMILY: Okay, sibling plots are my favorite. Should anyone be inclined to bring Elliott a twin, I would love to explore that dynamic and their relationship!

CONNECTIONS

Musical Soulmate: These two vibe, okay? They jam. From the moment they met they knew that they were connected somehow, but it only took until there was a guitar in Elliott’s hands and their voices chiming in harmony for them to realize that these two were meant to play together. Right now, the two of them are working on their solo acts but soon, my pretties, soon they will form an indie band and the world will all be in sync.

The #Bestie: This is a person whom Elliott has met since he arrived in Lima. This person has seen through all of the ins, outs, ups, and downs of Elliott’s former relationship and has seriously taken Elliott’s phone seven hundred times when they go out so he doesn’t drunk text or call someone he shouldn’t. These two are every kind of goals imaginable and considering Elliott is a new transplant to Lima, hit it off really fast.

The Reason to Stay: There’s a lot of room for this connection, but I definitely want to give Elliott a reason to stay in Lima. This could be to support his twin, a new business or music venture that he loves, or even someone who gives him the hope that a guy might not screw him over. No matter what, this person will be very important to Elliott and play a huge part in his growth at Lima!

THEIR GOALS

Write New Music: After what Elliott’s been through, he definitely has at least three albums worth of songs that are still swimming up in his head. In New York, he found that there was too much noise– so much, in fact, that he couldn’t hear himself think. For now, he’s pulling an Abbey Road and writing in seclusion so that when the time comes, he’s ready to record. A problem that Elliott has recently been finding is the fact that he doesn’t quite know how to put his feelings on paper, so that’s definitely something he’s trying to work on in light of what’s happened.

Mend Relationship with Mom: One of the hardest things that Elliott’s ever done was leave his home for the big city, and it’s pretty safe to say that his relationship with his mother has not been the same ever since then. Even though she’s the person who first taught him how to design his own costumes and find his identity through fashion. While they may not be close anymore, Elliott still desires to have a good relationship with his mother. Whether that involves him reaching out to her to make the first step, or something else, he’s determined to improve his status with his family.

Love His Life: Elliott hasn’t exactly had the easiest couple of years, and it’s been rough for him to transition back into the single life. However, his biggest focus is to work on himself and learn how to be Elliott, Starchild, or something in between. No matter where he is or what he’s doing, he wants to be happy, and that’s the most important thing.

THE PLAYER

name: Dana

pronouns: she/her

age: 25+

timezone: EST

#elliott gilbert #gilbert

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Divorce parties are a thing, and you’re going to want one after this week’s ‘You’re the Worst’

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When you’re getting divorced from the man of your nightmares, the only logical course of action is to celebrate with your besties — and when your besties are the dysfunctional deviants of You’re the Worst, there’s a 90 percent chance that said celebration will be a total trainwreck (albeit a trainwreck with great booze and decorations).

The Oct. 18 episode of FXX’s fan-favorite comedy sees Gretchen (Aya Cash) promising to throw Lindsay (Kether Donohue) a divorce party for the ages to celebrate her freedom from Paul (Allan McLeod) — although, naturally, it’s long-suffering Edgar (Desmin Borges) who ends up doing most of the heavy lifting.

And if you’re divorced, the recipient of a bad breakup, or just a person with a suitably dark sense of humor, you’re definitely gonna have party envy when you see the spread for this shindig — even if the guest list leaves a little to be desired.

We spoke to writer and supervising producer Alison Bennett to find out exactly what you need to throw your own rockin’ divorce party (or just a rad You’re the Worst watch party, TBH), that will make you the envy of all your exes.

1. The Decor

Image: FXX

It should come as no surprise that divorce parties are a real thing, and Bennett says she drew on her own life experiences for inspiration when writing the episode.

“I got divorced about two years ago and I did not have a party, but friends definitely were sending me links to some of these products that were featured in the episode. I was actually planning my wedding to my second husband while writing the episode, so between the research of planning a wedding and also having got divorced, I kind of fused those together, threw a little Pinterest in there and that’s how the divorce party was born.”

Customized cake toppers featuring the bride and groom’s likenesses are available online (decapitation optional, probably), and Bennett says a banner declaring “I do, I did, I’m done,” was a Pinterest find.

“‘Cause I figured Lindsay’s not a genius by any stretch of the imagination, so she definitely would be offering ideas that she would have seen other women execute on the internet,” she explains. “Lindsay’s probably one of those people that would end up on one of those Pinterest Fail blogs.”

2. The Drink

Image: fxx

Every good party needs a signature cocktail, and Lindsay’s divorce bash gives us the Mezcalimony, which was apparently the brainchild of writer Shane Kosakowski.

“He’s a master of both drinking and puns. When we were riffing on the episode before I went to script it, he just dropped Mezcalimony and we all lost our minds because the You’re The Worst writers’ room, we’re all big fans of Mezcal.”

The recipe calls for Mezcal (natch), lime juice, watermelon juice, ginger, honey and chili, but “be careful — if you fall in love with this drink, you’ll end up paying for it later,” as the sign warns. (Yes, you’ll be pleased to know that the writers tested it out to make sure it was up to their high standards — for science, obviously.)

“What’s better than Mezcal and drinking and also getting money from somebody else?” Bennett points out. “That’s great. That’s a combination of heaven.”

3. The dress

Image: fxx

When it comes to divorce party essentials, “The top pick is the hot dress,” Bennett says. “Just in case your ex does show up, so you can be like, ‘Look how good I’m having it now.'” Lindsay pairs a low-cut mullet dress with a black veil, fishnets and cat ears, because we all know that hot dresses are her specialty.

4. The crew

Image: fxx

What’s essential to any party? “Lots of girlfriends, who will protect you from making bad rebound hook ups, or encourage you to go in that direction,” Bennett suggests. “Just surround yourself with a lot of supportive women, and a couple of hot dummies who maybe you can hook up with.”

Bennett previews that Lindsay’s divorce party is one small step on a much longer journey of self-discovery in Season 4, although it’ll clearly be a winding road.

“I think by having this renewed sense of independence and getting to have a job and her own place — even though Gretchen’s there farting up the couch for three months of it — she is on this self-reflective path and she realizes something’s not working,” Bennett says.

“I think Lindsay is going on a journey of taking responsibility and realizing that she’s doing things that kind of bring the bad luck into her life that’s not actually bad luck, it’s choices. Also, finding out how she got there: What were her life experiences that made her into a person who is doing coke off their kids or whatever? She’s making those steps to figure it out, which I think is really beautiful and nice because all the other characters have gone through some self exploration over the years, and it’s nice to see them be that deep with her history.”

In other words, in true You’re the Worst fashion, the light at the end of Lindsay’s tunnel could be self-actualization, or it could be an oncoming train; either way, we know it’ll be fun (and scarily relatable) to watch.

You’re the Worst airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on FXX.

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