#and the weird thing is that it felt less cringe than maintaining an actual job

[jade-curtiss]

No one solves ethics here, he's just exposing shit and bouncing people out the only way I can.

[ficforce]

Second Chances

Akitaru Obi x Reader SFW No set timeline Old flames

“Captain, I’m fine, really!” Shinra complained as Obi all but marched him over to the Ambulance, his forehead was bleeding badly from where he had flown into a brick, but head injuries always bled a lot. “Heroes don’t sweat over little things.

“Heroes still get concussions,” The Captain gave him a little shove toward the Ambulance, the paramedic was busy getting everything away but she turned her head once she realised someone was there.

She was already putting on a fresh pair of gloves, smiling at the two and then she paused, “Akitaru?”

“…Y/N?” The Captain was taken aback but then he was grinning from ear to ear, “How are you? I thought you’d gone off and gotten married?”

Y/N smiled back, her eyes bright as she looked him over, “I’m good – Better for not going off and getting married, dodged a bullet there… Look at you, you’re… huge, Akitaru.” The last time she had seen him he was a regular firefighter, he’d been muscular back then but not like this, he looked happier too. Checking out his uniform she made an impressed noise, “Captain of a Special Fire Force… Wow.” She was really happy for him, he had always been a hard worker and he deserved the recognition. “Were you passing by or did you need help?

“I’m bleeding to death but if you two wanna catch up I’ll go find a corner…” Shinra felt like he was invisible, he was stood in between them but he felt forgotten.

“Sorry, take a seat on the van,” Y/N let out an embarrassed laugh and grabbed out a clean cloth to dab at the blood, “Hey, Akitaru?” she called over her shoulder, “You didn’t tell me you had a secret love child.”

“I have a whole new family, Y/N. As great as Shinra is, I’m not lucky enough to have a good kid like him.”

Shinra’s cheeks blushed and he tried not to show how happy he was with his Captain’s words, “Honest, if you two want to catch up I’ll just go bleed out in the Matchbox.”

“Oh shush, it’s a flesh wound at best. Stick around and I’ll tell you some cringe-worthy stories of your Captain.” As she spoke she cleaned the teens face up a little then began inspecting the actual cut, “The first time I met him, he had the same injury like this – there was blood in his eye, down his face, the front of his uniform was covered. They rushed him into the hospital and it was my first day on my own.” She was a nurse inside the hospital most days but sometimes she was called out as a paramedic when they were short. “He broke my nose.”

“What?!” The teen leaned to the side to watch as his Captain blushed, “How?”

Obi cleared his throat and leaned on the side of the Ambulance, “It was an accident, I had a concussion so I was in and out of consciousness, I bolted up and smashed my head right into her face…”

“Didn’t they give you a medal for that?” Y/N pulled out a pack of steristrips.

“Breaking your nose?” Shinra asked

Obi was rubbing the back of his head, he looked like he was enjoying the teasing, “It was a medal for bravery, I went back inside the building to help out a friend – Think it’s the same one they stripped from me two years later. Then they gave it back…”

“You never could back down when you thought something was wrong, Akitaru. Medals and titles mean nothing if you turn your back on what’s right.”

He smiled fondly at her, “You’re not much better at ignoring that stuff either, I remember the time you threatened that Doctor in the middle of the ER. You gave him the lecture of his life, told him he could take your job but if he didn’t save that kid’s life you would destroy him,” He looked somewhat proud and Obi had to stand up straight and fix his jacket as a distraction, “You used to burn hotter than any third gen.”

Shinra looked between the two, a crease between his eyebrows as he picked up the weird atmosphere, Obi ruffled his hair as Y/N finished treating him, “We used to date, long time ago.”

“But you stayed friends?” That sounded like something his Captain might do, who could ever hate the man?

Y/N disposed of her gloves and stood with her hands on her hips, “Sort of, I ended up dating a cop and then we got engaged… then I got un-engaged.” She said it so flippantly that neither man wanted to ask further, “What about you, Akitaru? You find someone to settle down with – not that you could settle if you wanted to, you’re always busy.”

“You know how clumsy I am, Y/N, you’re the only one who had enough patience…” The Captain took a breath and looked her in the eye, “Wanna go on a date sometime?”

The teen threw his hands up, “I’m right here!”

“Then go somewhere else.”

Y/N giggled at them but she wrote her details on a piece of paper and handed it to Obi, “Maybe we won’t screw it up this time?”

– -

Hinawa watched as Obi first passed the office wearing a suit, he passed again and then stopped at the door ten minutes later in his fatigues, “Too casual, right? But the suit seems too uptight…” The Lieutenant opened his mouth to reply but Obi was gone, the Captain next showing up in an odd half casual, half formal look, “Can I borrow your cologne? And what about this outfit?” He came fully into the office and sat down, his hands in his hair and his foot tapping, “Should I do something with my hair?”

“Where are you taking her?” He continued typing on his laptop, trying not to pick up on the other’s nervous energy, “You should dress in relation to that.” He typed for a little longer, the odd silence drawing it until he glanced at his Captain, the man looked like he was going to be sick, “You don’t know where you’re taking her, do you?”

“…”

“Ramen,” he suggested, “Go to your usual Ramen store and relax, stick to casual. You used to date, you have no false persona to maintain… Just be you, Captain.” He got up and stood in front of Obi, pulling him to his feet so that he could have him remove the formal jack, it left him in a pair of dark jeans and a short-sleeved black t-shirt. “If in doubt – Flex.”

“Thanks, Hinawa…” Obi knew he was trying too hard, he was excited and nervous and couldn’t quite control himself, “I was in love with her, I don’t think I really ever let go but I screwed it up so badly before that I’m worried I’ll do it again. I should be concentrating on our mission…” He felt hands on his shoulders and he looked at his Lieutenant’s serious expression.

Hinawa wasn’t the best at talking about his own feelings but he certainly cared about his Team’s emotional welfare, “You’ve been given a second chance with a woman you love, I want you to be happy, Captain. Everyone in this Company wants you to be happy and we’ll help you in any way we can.” He gave him a pat, “And if she doesn’t like you back I can always shoot her.”

“…Please don’t shoot her. Everything else was appreciated.”

– -

Y/N grinned as she stepped into the ramen place, she could see that Obi was blushing and he was rubbing the back of his head nervously - he was panicking. He was so calm and collected in an emergency but he was so cute when he had to make public speeches and always when he chose date spots. “I was so worried you’d take me somewhere ridiculous, somewhere fancy that we would both hate. This is great.” She took a seat in a booth and he slid in opposite her, Obi looked a little less stiff and she could see the tension released as soon as she had said that.

“I’d like to take the credit but my Lieutenant talked me down - I still get nervous around you.”

“Akitaru…” Y/N couldn’t help but smile, her face warm at his honesty, “You’re still a charmer.”

They passed the evening catching up, eating Ramen and then heading to a nearby bar for drinks. It was like old times, Obi felt like they had picked up from where they had left off and the time apart seemed trivial. They had originally split up because of their jobs. Being a fireman was hard work and so was being an ER nurse, they wouldn’t have much time for each other and when they did they were exhausted and irritable. Obi was often frustrated with the limits put on him, he valued lives - not rules - he didn’t train as much back then either and he’d always had excess energy to burn.

Y/N worked all hours, she had to fight with her managers on treatment over saving money, they cut corners and she was so low on the chain that they ignored her, she didn’t want to listen to him complain when she had her own frustrations.

They had to let each other go before they came to hate one another.

Obi placed another drink in front of her, they sat beside one another, close enough to converse over the noise of the bar, “So, you didn’t get married in the end?”

There it was, she knew this was going to come up eventually and she shrugged as if it were nothing, “He had a temper, so I got out of there before it got out of hand - he could be quite frightening at times…” Y/N picked up her glass and took a drink, “Why haven’t you dated in such a long time? You must have gotten offers, women love a fireman.”

“No one compared to you,” He admitted right away, the Captain looked at her surprised expression and smiled, “I let you go because we weren’t mature enough for each other at the time, I didn’t let you go because I didn’t love you.”

He came straight out with it. The way he had always been and what she had always adored, “Akitaru…” There was no hesitation in her as the man leaned in, his lips were familiar and oddly comforting, Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut and she caressed up his jaw until she could feel the prickly short hairs of his undercut, keeping him from pulling away.

— -

Company 8 had noticed the change in Obi’s mood over the few weeks he’d been dating, he was usually enthusiastic but he was so much happier than before, it spread through them all. He was still serious about their mission but it was nice for everyone to see him taking more time to relax, “Captain, you have a visitor,” Maki announced as she stepped into his office, Y/N was just behind her but the to woman went unnoticed for a few seconds as Obi continued to punch the bag in the corner. Y/N couldn’t help but admire his muscular back, his skin was shiny with sweat and if it hadn’t been for one thing then she was certain she would be thinking about getting him alone for some fun. Instead, she was focussed on the sound of his fists hitting the bag.

The sound made her flinch and she had to remember to breathe.

“Captain Obi!” Maki called out this time, her hands on her hips as she approached him, “Y/N’s here.”

That did the trick and Obi stopped, turning around to grin at her, “Thanks, Maki.” The woman gave a nod and headed out, Obi grabbed a hand towel and wiped the sweat from his face, “Sorry, I was too into it. I didn’t think you’d actually come to… visit…” He noticed that she looked a little off colour and as he looked closer he could see that Y/N was tense, “Y/N?” He walked to her and reached out to move a loose hair from her face - immediately she recoiled with a sharp gasp. Obi froze.

He watched her hunch in on herself and lower her gaze to the floor, she looked terrified… “Y/N, what is it? What’s wrong?” She shook her head and tried to look at him, a half muttered ‘I’m fine’ escaped her lips and was followed shortly by a hitched breath, then another… and another. Years of looking after people during and after traumatising events made Obi realise immediately that she was having an anxiety attack. “Hey, you’re safe, Y/N, it’s okay. Come on, take a seat.” The man took her hand and guided her to his chair, getting her to sit and then opened the office window before getting on his knees in front of her, Obi tried to reach for her face again but once more she flinched away.

She didn’t want him to touch her.

“Okay, okay…” Obi placed his hands on his thighs, he waited for her to get control of her breathing, she was a nurse and she seemed to be trying to bring herself out of the anxious state so that she could at least take a proper breath, “Do you need some water?” At her nod he got up and crossed the room to grab a bottle, bringing it back and opening it for her, “That was new…” Obi tried to make light of it once she seemed almost calm.

“I’m sorry, Akitaru… I…I haven’t had one of those in a while…”

He told her not to apologise and remained on the floor, keeping himself low and trying to seem a little less big. “Did something happen today? Is that why you came to see me?”

“I just wanted to visit… I…” She looked at his handsome face, his warm, kind eyes looking at her with such concern, “You’ll get angry, Akitaru.”

“About what?”

He would get angry and that would just give her another attack but he should know. “Sometimes… sometimes the sound of fists hitting something else… sets me off.” Y/N sucked in her bottom lip and tightened her hands into fists, “Remember when I said my ex had a temper…?”

Obi could be slow at times, known to have more brawn than brains but this was a very simple equation. “He hit you?” It was difficult for him to keep his voice level, anger began to clump together inside him and made his body feel heavy - he stamped it down and tried not to let a single bit escape him. “I’m… you…” What did he say to her? How long did she put up with that kind of abuse? How bad was it? How did she get away? He had so many questions and not one of them would make this better and would only cause her more distress. The Captain took her hands in his and pressed his lips to her fingertips, taking a long moment to compose himself and then looking up into her nervous gaze, “I don’t think I need to tell you that I would never harm you, Y/N. I get that it’s probably really hard to trust anyone after someone you were supposed to marry, who you must have loved dearly, hurt you. But I would never, ever, ever lay a hand on you with the intent to hurt you.”

“I know, Akitaru,” she understood that completely and she felt guilty for getting so worked up over his training, “It took me so long to walk away from him, I was in denial and thought maybe I could make him kind again but maybe he was always that bad. I’m sorry I freaked out - You looked pretty sexy before I had to mess things up.”

The man leaned up to press a short kiss to her lips, pulling back to make sure she didn’t feel crowded by him, “You didn’t mess anything up… Besides, I look sexier when I’m lifting weights.” Obi took hold of the seat she was on and lifted both it and her up onto his desk, the woman giving out a surprised yell as he did, “You’re the prettiest desk weight I’ve ever seen, my paperwork will never blow away again.”

Y/N ran her hand through his hair and smiled down at him, he knew how to make her feel treasured and she reached for him to pick her up and place her back on the ground, she hugged him tight and sighed in relief as he held her - She felt safe with him.

“If the furniture isn’t back in its proper place by the time our meeting starts, I will shoot you in the knee, Captain.”

Y/N heard something that sounded suspiciously like a whimper and Obi’s embrace became a little tighter as he tried to shrink behind her. She managed to turn her head enough to see that Hinawa had entered the office and didn’t seem happy to see the chair on top of the desk or that Obi had set up a punching bag, “I’ll protect you, Akitaru.”

[lokidrabbles]

Perfect Fit (Loki x Reader)

Peter Parker tells reader about what Loki thinks of them.

A/N: Another oneshot, this time featuring Spiderman as the medium for Reader and Loki. Also, my headcanon remains that Loki refers to Peter as Spider Boy. As always, Gender Neutral Reader!

Warnings: None! Fluff n’ such!

Your eyes peered up from your paperwork to catch sight of the fidgeting teen sitting in front of your desk. You empathized with him. It was always some sort of hell fire when Tony or any of the Avengers reprimanded one of the outlier members for failing to complete a mission in time, or failing to follow a inward duty to protect others. Although the consequences of the damage the young Spiderman had left behind were very minimal (extensive property damage, but no one seriously hurt), Tony still upheld his duty as Peter’s pseudo guardian, and laid it hard on him.

As part of the process, you were in charge of filling all the damage reports and costs left behind by the throws of battle, and Tony ordered Peter to witness the extent of his mistake through financial eyes. Or maybe through boring clerical work. Whatever the matter, Peter looked absolutely nervous, probably dreading to hear just how much his antics caused the city (or Tony).

“You know I’m not actually going to tell you how much cash Tony is going to have to fork out, right?” You asked him, causing him to jump slightly.

“What, really? I mean, are you sure? ‘Cus I’m sure Mr. Stark wanted me to, uh, witness the depth of my carelessness.” He stuttered in response.

“I mean yes, you definitely want to be more cautious. But this, in comparison to Tony’s own damage cost analysis, is almost nothing. I’m sure this is just his weird way of wanting to make sure you’re keeping the citizens and yourself safe out there. Also I feel if I tell you, you’re going to be harder on yourself than you need to be.”

Peter let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you’re right about that. I really am sorry about what happened, I did try to be as careful as I could.”

“I’m sure you did kid. The important thing is that building was insured, and that no one was seriously hurt. You good?”

“Yes, yes!” He responded hastily, and you almost felt the weight being lifted from his shoulders. “I’m just glad you’re just as nice as Mr. Loki mentioned you to be.”

You shot a quizzical look at Peter. “Uh, Mr. Loki?”

“Well, yeah? Mr. Thor’s brother? I’ve seen you both together a lot here at the facility.”

Of course you knew who he was talking about, but the fact that Loki made his chipper self into this conversation was odd at best. From your documentation, you found out Loki had been assigned to this small escapade in the outskirts of the city. It actually made you content to see Tony’s mistrust in him begin to dwindle, allowing him to participate in the Avenger’s daily heroism. You could almost see his sour face once he found out this precise squad would be lead by Tony himself. But it made sense.

“What’s Mr. Loki doing gossiping about me to you?” You asked teasingly.

“Nothing bad! I can swear by that!” Peter said, putting his hands up in defense. “I think he just wanted me to feel better.”

“That’s a good one kid.” You chuckled. “It’s a miracle on it’s own to have Loki talk one word to anyone. You have no idea how long it took me to have him say a simple hello to me.”

“Really?” Peter asked, slowly pulling his hands down. “I know Mr. Loki is always very reserved, and he was a little scary at first. But he’s actually kind of, really nice too.”

“You must have a very skewed definition of nice.” You said sarcastically. You jested however. You had experienced Loki’s ‘niceness’ firsthand, in his own bizarre way. Loki’s form of nice didn’t really fall under your typical definition of it. Nice was, for example, telling someone thank you, bringing thoughtful gifts, buying someone lunch. Loki’s nice more so included telling you that you were being stupid and foolish for failing to believe in yourself, and that you should be ashamed of yourself, blah blah blah. He got the right intention, but his delivery was horrible. You cringed at the thought of poor little Peter having to go through that.

“I mean, maybe? He was very helpful during the mission, and his strategy at the whole thing. I was like, wow! He moved so fast in between everything, I had such a hard time keeping up. Though, maybe that’s why I got so distracted in the first place.” He sighed, still blatantly defeated for his error.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself though. For what it is, I think you’re a pretty talented kid too.” You said with a toothy smile. “Loki’s just a big show off though.”

He laughed in a much more relaxed manner. “Thanks, that means a lot. But I must have really taken it hard when Mr. Stark raised his voice at me. Mr. Loki approached me and told me I’d be sent over to your department and how you’d be very welcoming, nice and easygoing.”

You were slightly irritated at how Loki found it so easy to tell Peter all these likeable things about you, yet still failed to do so with you in person. Yet, you knew his reason’s to do so with Peter. Again, Loki wasn’t the most approachable man in the universe, but that didn’t mean he was completely heartless. His words with Peter, while few, were carefully chose to make the young teen feel less anxious. You mentally reminded yourself to give a him a big smooch the next time you saw him.

“I’m actually really happy to hear that.” You said, leaning against the back of your chair. “It looks like he found someone who he’s comfortable with, so that gives me some peace at mind.”

Peter became obviously confused at your comment. “I’m not sure I get that.”

“You said it best at first. He’s a scary fella. But it seems you got to him somehow. So trust me, from now on you got another set of eyes keeping watch of you, making sure you’re safe out there.”

“Actually, I think that make’s me a little more nervous.” He said sheepishly.

“Oh well yeah, be very wary of the God of Mischief.” You said ominously, followed by a snort and giggle.

“Oh, wait. Are you and Mr. Loki dating?”

Your giggles soon stopped, as your mouth remained agape in shock. Again, this was not where you expected a conversation about Loki to go to. You now felt like the nervous teenager in the room instead. Through its entirety, both you and Loki did well at keeping the relationship under wraps, understanding the impending chaos that would ensue if anyone (Tony and Thor) would find out. Well, maybe Loki could care less, but you still had a job and income to maintain. While inner work relationships were not uncommon here, there might be some adherence to having a relationship with someone who used to be on the blacklist.

“No.” You said lowly. Even you wouldn’t have believed that no.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insinuate anything like that. It’s just, Mr. Loki seemed to have talked fondly of you, and I do see you both together quite a bit. Also you both look really good together, but like not to mean you are dating or anything!”

“Okay Peter! I think we’re done here. I’ll take care of the rest, tell Tony you learned your lesson and all BS, and you can be on your merry little way, yes?” You said, rummaging through you documents, and handing Peter a crumpled up slip with your signature on it.

Peter took the slip slowly, unsure of what he hand uncovered with his innocent introspection. “Are you okay?”

“I’m super.” You feigned through a false smile. “Thanks for dropping by, but I got some more work to do.”

The young teen, still bewildered by your sudden agitation, took it for nothing and soon tip toed out of your small office. You let out a heavy breath and slumped in your chair. It seemed you were in the clear for now, and you figured Peter would be a smart kid and avoid spreading unnecessary rumors. Also for the sole fact that his life would be at risk if Loki were to ever find out he’d tattle at Tony. Still, your mind raced back to the encounter Peter had told you about, and how Loki made a worthwhile impression on the young teen. It warmed your heart knowing someone else seemed to have approved of your gloomy partner.

Towards the end of your shift, you were visited by said partner in efforts to soon spend a relaxing evening at your home. Loki casually seated himself on the seat in front of your desk, arms crossed over his chest.

“I hear the Spider boy paid you a little visit?” He asked playfully.

“He did in fact. He’s a sweet kid.” You responded, eye still glued on your computer screen. “A little naive, but sweet.”

“Stark was relentless on him today. Dare I say, I felt sorry for the lad. He looked like a scared puppy.”

You hummed in a chipper manner. “Yeah, he told me all about it. He also told me how Mr.Loki made him feel a whole lot better today.”

You heard Loki grunt, a way for him to avoid talking about it. You figured it was still awkward for him to hear about his ‘good deeds’ with the type of shit he’s gone through.

“He was very impressed by your skills set. You may have a little fan boy in the making.” You grinned, finally closing your laptop. “I think we should adopt him as our child.”

“You’re hysterical.” He responded flatly.

“I’m mad at you though.” You said as you began to gather your belongings.

Loki raised an eyebrow at you. “Pray tell why?”

“How come you tell Peter all of these nice things about me, yet you always avoid doing so to my face?”

Loki remained quiet, draw back by the nature of your question. You meant to approach the subject in a playful manner, still understanding how Loki had his own special way of showing affection. Yet, you saw how Loki rested his chin at the top of his knuckles, analyzing and concocting an appropriate answer. He looked adorable.

“I suppose I really haven’t done so.” He said admittedly. “What would you like to hear?”

You felt your face heat up. “It doesn’t really work if I tell you what I want to hear. Also, that’s embarrassing.”

“Ah. Of course.”

“Peter told me all the good things though.” You began. “It does make me happy that you think that way about me, instead of an absolute bother.”

He rolled his eyes. “I do hate your incessant ability to self-deprecate. However, everything else the Spider boy mentioned is absolutely true.”

“How lovely to hear.”

Loki stood up and began assisting you with your bags and belongings. You smiled with a strong sense of satisfaction, promptly turning off the lights in your office.

“I also forgot to mention to him that you’re amazing, and incredible.” He whispered behind you. “That I love your smile, and I love how your hand fits so well into mine. That I always look forward to seeing your bright eyes every single day, that I-”

You felt your lips begin to twist in both joy and uneasiness. You jabbed Loki slightly at his side, urging to promptly stop before you explore. “Cut it out. I can’t tolerate this level of cheesiness.”

He smirked mischievously at you. “Then I will have to draw out my admiration for you with the Spider boy if you aren’t able to tolerate it. I’m sure he would be more than happy to hear about it.”

“You better fucking not.”

---

Later in the evening, a young Peter Parker, overseeing the block from the top of a building, took note of Mr. Loki firmly leaving the facility with you, hands hidden, side by side. Upon further inspection, Peter deducted it would be best to keep quiet about this encounter, sensing how distressed you had been about it earlier today. He felt correct about his assumption however; both you and Loki looked good together.

[whatcouldgowrong-ohthat]

Us and Andie Ch. 5

Summary: Bucky works as an Avenger because it’s what’s right. He feels he has sins he’ll never be able to make up for, but he’ll spend the rest of his life trying. However, his life takes an unexpected turn when he comes across Andie, the daughter of recently divorced Y/N. The life he had once “maintained” in hopes of surviving changes as his heart warms for a tough-as-nails nurse and her wonderful daughter.

Word Count: 3227 words

Warnings: Reader and Bucky interaction! There is angst and mentions of abuse. 

A/N: There is a lot more angst in this chapter just because Y/N’s telling Bucky hers and Andie’s history. And guys - this divorce story is based off of real events from someone I’m very close to. I wish it wasn’t real, but it is. I actually downplayed it for this particular story. But single parents? Victims of abuse? They deserve all of our love and support because they work their asses off just trying their best.

Series Masterlist - Masterlist

Seeing an Avenger run errands was something that one wouldn’t label as “normal”. Ever. A giant of a man attempting to squeeze past other shoppers in skinny aisles? Natasha quietly appearing wherever she needed to do something as simple as grab a carton of milk? And God forbid a billionaire playboy like Tony go shopping on his own for something as trivial as frozen pizza. In fact, Sam might have been the only Avenger that Y/N could picture and it might be the slightest bit, maybe just maybe, normal.

But this particular Avenger? Bucky? It seemed…improbable? Impossible? Inconceivable. That was the word.

Maybe Y/N needed to stop watching The Princess Bride with Andie.

She watched as Bucky looked over her list, grabbing things from shelves and tossing them in the basket. Several women had noticed him. It was hard not to. The guy was massive. And Y/N had to admit, it was nice having him around. It was weird – she barely knew anything about him, but he was determined to help her.

“Tell me something.”

Bucky looked up, raising an eyebrow as she grabbed two bags of M&Ms. One peanut butter, the other dark chocolate. He wondered if they were both Andie’s favorites or if one was maybe hers. “Like what?” He looked back at her, handing her the list before pushing the cart.

She started scratching things off, shrugging. “Something not related to Hydra? Or the Avengers?” As interesting as it now was to say she met with and hung out with the Avengers, she still preferred normal. There was no denying that. And the idea of knowing something like that about Bucky? The idea made her smile.

“I like sweet things.”

That wasn’t what she was expecting. Y/N stepped in front of the cart, hopping on it and allowing him to push her. “I need an explanation behind that. I thought everyone likes sweets. At least to some degree, right?”

Bucky pulled the cart to a stop, surprised when she hopped up. However, despite his surprise, he had to admit that it was cute. He’d seen her wild and worried, but Bucky had yet to see her relax. To act less like a mom and more like…herself? There was a better way to word that, he was sure of it. He crossed his arms and leaned against it, trying to find the right words before realizing he still owed her an explanation. “Hydra didn’t exactly go out of their way to give me good food. Mostly it was IV nutrients or stuff that could hardly even qualify as food.”

Her heart sank at that. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the hero gig. “Oh…”

“Yeah, so when I got out I just…I promised myself I wouldn’t live like that anymore. I want to enjoy things and it turns out sweets became one of those…things.”

Y/N smiled at that. “I’ll make those pancakes for you. That Andie likes so much.”

Bucky looked up at her, eyes wide and jaw dropped. She didn’t – “You don’t – “

“What, you’re the only person that’s able to do nice things?” She hopped off the cart, crossing her arms. “Not happening. Besides, baking is one of those things I do.”

“Even in that tiny ass kitchen?” Y/N gaped at him and he cringed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

But it turned out, Bucky’s apology wasn’t even necessary. Y/N was laughing and swatted his arm, earning a small jump from him. “Yes, actually, I do bake even in that ‘tiny ass kitchen’.”

Bucky felt something in his stomach when he heard her laugh like that. Not only was it sweet, but he was the cause of it. He was the cause of bringing that smile to her face. “How do you have the time?”

“I don’t,” she told him, still laughing without a shred of embarrassment. “But I make it. Whether it means losing some shut eye or not – the nurses are willing to pay me to make stuff for their kids’ bake sales.”

Bucky pushed the cart, absolutely dumbfounded by this woman. She had no superpowers, no abilities, and no reason to be such a good person. And yet here she was. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as good as you.”

Y/N laughed again, shaking her head. “I’m just trying to do my best, Buck. Whatever that is.”

Silence fell as they rounded the corner and went towards the cold section. Y/N was immediately rubbing her hands together, oblivious to the fact that Bucky was watching her. He wanted to tell her more, talk to her more.

“I also like goats.”

Y/N whipped her head around, already smiling at that new detail. “Goats? Is there a story behind this?”

“Um…after the Accords I went to Wakanda and that’s where I met Shuri. She’s the princess there…Really good kid. You’d like her. And…”

Bucky continued with his story. His movements became more animated and relaxed as she listened to him. It was a side of Bucky she never could have predicted. But it seemed the more time she spent with him, the more she realized there was a lot about Bucky she couldn’t predict. And a lot more that she wanted to find out.

-.-.-

After grocery shopping and finally dropping everything off at the apartment, Bucky insisted on taking Y/N out for food. It was a weird moment for him. Normally he stayed in, avoiding eyes and people that were far too curious. But this time that wasn’t the case. He actually wanted to be out. He wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to be seen with Y/N or if he wanted to spoil her. Maybe it was a mix of the two.

“Here’s your order,” the waitress said, placing two burgers, fries, and two shakes on the table.

Y/N thanked her, looking around at the quaint little diner. How did Bucky find this place? “I feel like we’re going to be caught in this endless cycle of being too nice to each other,” she joked, taking a fry. She dipped it in her shake and took a bite, smiling when she saw that look of complete confusion on his face. Had he even heard what she just said? “Try it before you judge.”

Bucky snorted, but did as she said. What he didn’t expect was to actually enjoy it. And judging by the highly entertained look on her face, he wasn’t exactly hiding it.

“Exactly. So quit your judging.”

They were so at ease with each other. It felt like they’d known one another for years. “So…you asked me questions earlier. Can I ask you now?”

Y/N hesitated for a moment before forcing herself to relax. It was Bucky. What was the worst thing he could ask? “Sure, I don’t see why not.”

“…Why did you and Andie’s dad get a divorce?”

Y/N’s whole body froze when she heard that question. This was why she didn’t make new friends. New friends asked personal questions. New friends asked about that damn ex-husband of hers. But Bucky meant well…She was sure he did. She had to remember that he was from a time when divorce just wasn’t done.

And she was from a time when it was always done.

“Well…” Wow, things felt heavy. Her chest felt tight.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky murmured. He leaned forward when he noticed how quickly her body language changed. “I didn’t want to upset you. Or bring up bad memories. I just…” His tongue ran across his lip as he struggled to find the words. Why was he always stumbling? Why was he always at a loss for words? “I was raised in a time where marriage was it. You were stuck with it. And even though Hydra brainwashed me, it became one of those things that was kind of ingrained in my beliefs. Even when I didn’t know what those were.” He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I was curious what would bring someone to end a relationship when they’re supposed to be in love.”

“Abuse.”

Bucky looked up, fixating on her features. There was only one tear, already fallen and gone. Strands of her hair fell in front of her face. She looked raw. His whole body was rigid as he repeated that one word in his head. Abuse. Who the fuck would abuse her? Who would be such a coward? She wasn’t a superhero. She wasn’t like him. Or a soldier or anything like that. She didn’t have a job that deserved cruelty. So why…? Bucky clenched his jaw at the sharp pain from his hair, realizing he’d been pulling because of his anger.

“Do you want the whole story?”

“You – Y/N, you’re under no obligation to share that with me.”

“I know,” she told him with the smallest nod. “I’m very well aware of that. And if it were anyone else, I probably wouldn’t. But I’m sitting across from a man who lived with seventy years of abuse. If anyone would get it, I’m pretty sure it’s you.”

He slumped in his chair, surprised that she would trust him with something like this. There was something about this that made him feel…pride? Confidence? Of all the people to trust, she was choosing him. And he never would have expected it. He never would have had the guts to believe it. Though first, he had to ask, “Did he hurt Andie?”

“Hell no.” The words were held with nothing less than total conviction. “I divorced him before he got the chance.”

“Why do I feel like there’s more to the story than that?”

“’Cause there is? My ex…” She picked at her food, suddenly losing her appetite. “God, he knew how to work the system. Played it like a game. He was verbally and emotionally abusive…Never touched me hard enough to leave a bruise. Just enough to make a point or get me scared.”

Silence passed for a few minutes. Bucky watched her, willing to listen to anything she had to tell him.  But just like any of the Avengers, that wall that she had torn down came right back up just as quick.

She shrugged, taking a sip of her water. Her stomach lurched. She felt sick. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” Bucky bit his lip, reaching across the table. His hand found her arm, squeezing gently. Learning about this, he had so much more to ask. Why would Andie try to see her dad? Why did Y/N wait till Andie was three?

“You’re not the first person to give me that look, you know,” Y/N murmured. A hollow laugh slipped free. She pulled her arm away from his grip, ignoring how comforting it felt. She hugged herself. “Part of my marriage included isolating me from my family. I was nineteen when we got married, so I didn’t know any better. God, I was so naïve. I was practically brainwashed into believing that was how marriage was supposed to be. I didn’t know any better and – “ She faltered, realizing what she had said. “I’m sorry, that was really tacky. I could’ve chosen a better word.”

Bucky frowned. What was she talking about? Oh. He chuckled, shaking his head. “If brainwashing is a good word to describe what you went through, then use it. You’re not hurting my feelings.”

She smiled ever so slightly. It hurt to see her like this. Looking so broken. Taking a shaky breath, she looked around at the near empty diner. The few people that were there weren’t paying attention to them. It was comforting. She felt like she could confide in him even with where they were. “I didn’t really care what he was doing to me, you know? I was numb after five years. I didn’t talk to anyone outside of his friends. It was just my life. But then I got pregnant with Andie. And he changed. He started treating me better…like I was a person instead of property.”

Bucky’s hands clenched on his thighs. Everything in his body wanted to move next to Y/N, to hug her and let her know that nothing that happened was right. But the way she talked about it? He knew she was aware. He knew she wasn’t that same girl anymore. God, how different would things have been if they had met all those years ago? “What changed?”

“I think actually having Andie burst some bubble of his. The reality of a daughter? Especially a mutant showing their abilities so young? He wasn’t prepared for it and,” she shrugged again, defeated. “He blamed me for her having a gift. I didn’t even care that she did, but when I reminded him that it was the male’s genetics that determined someone being a boy or girl? Someone being a mutant? That was when things went back to what I was used to. He didn’t drink or anything, but he was…so angry. And I wasn’t going to put her through that. She had just turned three and I filed. So then he threatened to take her from me.”

Bucky’s heart sank. How much of this was a reality for other women? How many women had to be as strong as Y/N? How many chose to stay? How many weren’t even able to make a choice? “How,” His voice caught in his throat. “How did you get him to…”

“To leave us alone?” He nodded, at a complete loss for words. “He doesn’t have to pay child support. And I have complete control of visitation rights. It mattered once, but not so much now. Andie…she wants a relationship, but it’ll never happen.”

Bucky ran a hand over his face, trying to wrap his head around everything. She gave up child support and was taking care of a kid while living in New York. On her own. Wow. He scratched his jaw, unable to wrap his mind around how someone could go through all of that. It was a different type of torture. Bewildered, he asked, “Why would she even want to see him?”

“Because he remarried,” she sighed. “And he has two boys. Don’t get me wrong, I am completely honest with my daughter about everything involving her father. I have raised her to be able to defend herself no matter what. She is very aware of everything.” Y/N hesitated, only able to imagine what could have gone on in Andie’s head the day her dad refused to meet her. “But she has a father who has no interest in meeting her because of things out of her control. He raises two boys and, from what I know, he loves them and his wife. He treats his new family great. At thirty-five, I still can’t help the sting I feel from that. I can only imagine what she feels.”

“She’s an awesome kid.”

Y/N laughed, tears welling in her eyes. “Yeah, I know. And she’s been wanting to meet him since she was eight. She’s been wanting to meet her brothers for just as long, but…”

“He won’t let her.”

It was a statement, not a question. He didn’t need to ask because the answer was so irritatingly obvious. What an ass. Andie was sneaking out to see what she was missing. She was trying to create a relationship with someone who didn’t want her. The thought of that, the realization, made him sick to his stomach.

Y/N let out a sharp exhale, realizing how heavy things had gotten. She had shared her story, sure, but normally in bits and pieces. It wasn’t normally such word vomit. “I can’t believe I told you all of that. It is nothing like what you went through.”

“Don’t start with all of that,” Bucky argued, shocking her into silence. “Trauma is trauma. Nothing makes what you and Andie went through any less valid. And you can’t argue. ‘Cause I’m the Winter Soldier and who better to ‘get it’ than me?”

She laughed at that, a hint of a smile reappearing when he threw her words back around. Oh, how surprising this man was. Taking a sip of her drink, she asked, “You are unnaturally kind, you realize that, right?”

“Or maybe I’m just less of a dick than the guys you spend time with.”

Y/N snorted, choking on her water and falling into a coughing fit as Bucky winced. Maybe that was too far? “That was great,” she told him, wiping away the tears that had fallen before.

In only seconds, she looked completely different. No longer broken. Any tension that had been there was gone. She was already moving on from it. Maybe that was because she already had eight years behind her.

Leaning back in her seat, she checked her phone. “I need to go get Andie from school.”

Bucky nodded, pulling out his wallet and dropping a couple twenties. “Do you want company?”

She smiled as they stood and made their way outside. As weird as it was to share something like picking Andie up, Y/N found herself wanting to. Andie liked Bucky. And Y/N felt like she could trust him. Especially after confiding everything to him. Honestly, she told him, “I would really like that.”

“Then lead the way.”

And she did. Her hand reached down and grabbed his, immediately catching Bucky’s attention and sending him on alert. He expected her to let go at some point, only making sure he stuck by through the crowds. And while he did his best to follow the route, memorizing it in case he would one day get Andie on his own, he was absolutely giddy.

She never let go of his hand.

-.-.-

That night, Tony was working late in the lab as always. While tinkering away at his suit, he had a hologram of a few documents pulled up. He was passively studying, something absolutely normal for him. It helped him focus. At least, that was the excuse he was giving himself. He preferred this sort of thing after all. But what he hadn’t been expecting was F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerting him of someone else’s arrival.

He looked up, swiping away the reports he’d been memorizing. Fixating back on the suit, he asked, “What are you doing here?”

Bucky didn’t say anything. He shoved a hand in his pocket, the other nervously running through his hair. He didn’t like the idea of coming to Tony for a favor. He really didn’t. It isn’t for you. It’s for Andie and Y/N. “You like Andie and her mom, right?”

Tony glanced up, lifting the goggles and propping them on his head. “Yeah. Y/N seems like a good mom and Andie’s been a riot ever since I met her.” He pushed the chair he sat in, rolling across the floor and landing at his desk. He set the tools down and rose to his feet, wiping his hands clean on his pants. He could always buy another pair. “Why, what’s up?”

“I have a favor to ask…”

Tony leaned against his desk. “For them? Name it.”

And Bucky did. He described everything he felt Tony needed to know. He knew the Stark had a big heart, witnessed how he had taken Peter under his wing. He wanted to do something similar for these two. And judging by the look on Tony’s face, he was more than willing.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Tag List:

@mr-robot-x​ @lets--be-honest @buckyssoul @purplekitten30 @amnahs9695 @booktease21 @niahmariec

[mostweakhamlets]

Untitled Sheep Project: Vegan Cheese and Wine

CW for mature, semi-explicit beginning. Nothing is described in detail, nothing is actually sexy, but stuff is happening. 

This is an original story in project I’m working on. I’d love to hear any feedback or if anyone enjoys it! It was posted initially on my patreon where I’m gradually building this project up! 

“We’re going to be late.”

“I know, my darling, but it ruins the mood when you keep saying it, and that’s just going to make us even more late.”

Cherry Bomb knew that when she focused too hard on maintaining her arousal, it made the whole situation that much less sexy. Once she felt herself start to lose it, she couldn’t force herself back into the proper mindset. She had to think about what was sexy about looking down at her bored partner propped up on pillows, doing the bare minimum to help her out.

And then her thoughts wandered to what she had to do after: laundry, shopping, meeting a client. In this case, she thought about how she had to shave her legs and how she should really try to put on a little makeup. Then, she thought about what her newest step-sister would look like, and while she had no hard feelings about the woman, she did feel a sense of competition whenever they were going to be in the same room.

She thought about Peggy’s usual well-lined lipstick and neat eye shadow. She owned expensive, luxury brand makeup from across the globe while Cherry Bomb bought most of her makeup at Boots and let it expire in her bathroom before she managed to use even half of it. If she were lucky, her mascara wouldn’t be dried up and clumpy yet.

“Fuck it.”

They lost it.

She climbed off and crawled off the side of the bed, picking her panties off the floor and pulling them back on for the walk to the bathroom. Richard lifted his hands in defeat and threw the sheets off himself.

“I’m glad we wasted our time with that,” he said.

“Don’t start with any of that,” Cherry Bomb mumbled. “Let’s just get ready.”

And half an hour later, when she heard the unmistakable sound of him jerking off in the shower as she left the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, she said nothing.

—

Vegan cheese turned out to taste not much different than dairy cheese, but it was just different enough for Cherry Bomb. She sipped her Spanish rosado wine to wash away the taste of the fake ricotta, and then scraped her tongue on her back teeth to get the coating of sweetness off.

Perhaps if she had been to an actual cheese and wine tasting before, she would know what to compare the vegan option to. Perhaps if she had a more refined palette, she would be able to make better conversation about it.

Her father, meanwhile, spoke about his latest research with the colleagues they had met. They droned on about studies and their results and gave little teasers about what they were going to present.

“You know,” Richard said, keeping his voice low. “The bar has other drinks.”

Cherry Bomb looked over at the bar that stretched across the back corner of the room, partially hidden by the crowd. Servers were leaving with trays of wine and individual people were gathering for hard liquor breaks. She waited for a lull in discussion.

“We’re going to step out for a smoke,” she said.

“Neither of you smoke,” her father said.

“We’re hoping that someone out there might peer-pressure us into it.”

She grabbed Richard’s wrist and pulled him away as he explained that they were just looking for fresh air after their many glasses of wine.

With her generous glass of whiskey and his generous glass of tequila, they stepped outside onto the empty patio. Groups hovered around the garden, smoking and making conversation. Maybe even gossiping about those around them.

Cherry Bomb took a moment to admire Richard. He was in a jumper she insisted he wear because the dark red looked so nice against his complexion and hair. That and she believed that a pale top would be a bad idea for a wine tasting—just in case of accidents. She reached up to re-tuck his white collar into his jumper.

“Can we talk about earlier?” he asked.

Cherry Bomb shrugged and took a sip of her drink. The stinging oakiness to it was a welcomed change from the sweetness of the wines that still clung to her tongue. The flavors did mix horrifically for a moment, but the next sip was that of strong liquor only.

“What should we talk about?” she asked.

“I think it might be time we talk to someone—”

Cherry Bomb cringed. Sex therapy was never something she wanted. She had always associated it with other people—people who had run out of options and were unable to communicate anymore. They were the people her father studied and wrote books and essays on. They were the fake names that appeared in studies next to stories about their failing marriages and deep parental issues.

“I don’t think it’s come to that just yet,” she said. “I don’t want to waste anyone’s time when there’s people who genuinely need that help. Besides, what are they going to tell us that we haven’t read on our own?”

“A lot.”

“I don’t think we need to resort to a therapist.”

“We’ve been having problems for nearly a year,” Richard whispered. “And it is multiple problems at this point. I’m keeping a list.”

“Then, let’s wait until it’s been a full year, okay? If February comes, and we’re still having problems, then I promise you that we can start looking for people. I’ll ask my dad if anyone he knows is taking new patients.”

“And that’s another thing we need to talk about. I don’t want your father involved in our sex life. If we do it, I don’t want him to know.”

“That’s reasonable, and I will respect your boundaries. We can Google it like other people.”

Richard smiled down at her. He looked far too sweet to deny anything. She wanted to cup his cheeks and pull him down for a kiss on the forehead, but she refrained.

Cherry Bomb watched the people around them. They all looked very posh with swanky dresses and suits and jewelry. But they also all looked the same, obsessed with being perceived as successful and upper class but not wanting to go too far as to look as if they were bragging. Though they definitely were bragging. The dress codes of the upper-middle class were all about being just relatable enough to people below them while also signaling to those above them that they had taste and money to spend as well. It was a balancing act in a circus of classism.  

Cherry Bomb counted only a few women without dyed-brunette, chemically straightened up-dos and two men in blue suits that they were trying so hard to look casual in. They swung their drinks around and pursed their lips and rolled their eyes.

It was who her father had become. Obsessed with appearing not out-of-touch but then flipping a switch once he safely could complain about how much he lost to taxes that year and how his gardener did a poor job planting new bushes.

The patio door swung open. Cherry Bomb looked over her shoulder to see Peggy scan the room before spotting them. Cherry Bomb swallowed the rest of her drink, clearing her throat after.

“I can’t blame you for wanting to get away.” Peggy walked to their side. She smiled at Cherry Bomb. “Your father is a brilliant man, but I cannot, for the life of me, follow what they’re talking about.”

Her eyeliner was perfect. It was a nostalgic style—something that would have fit in in the 1990s and went around her entire eye—and it fit her well. Just like her lipstick and foundation and dress. She wasn’t attractive in the conventional way. Her nose was a bit wide, and her face was more square than most women would have liked theirs to be. But that made her all the more attractive, Cherry Bomb thought. It made her unique, and she seemed to know it judging by how she held herself with so much confidence.

Or maybe she believed that she didn’t need to be attractive. That for her, looks were truly superficial and she had found happiness in her work and personality and social life and it had all reflected back out to give her a clear complexion and a few beautiful, silver wisps of hair.

“Imagine being raised by him,” Cherry Bomb said. “My bedtime stories were about debunking the Oedipus complex—he wanted to start me off with the Introduction to Psych basics.”

Peggy laughed. Cherry Bomb laughed, too, only because the liquor and wine she had had were all catching up to her and making her head float above her shoulders. Laughing made sense to her. Richard pressed his hand into her waist, and it felt distant.

“I’m leaving in a few minutes,” Peggy continued. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”

Cherry Bomb leaned in for a half-hug and a cheek kiss she would never give anyone else.

Richard leaned in for an awkward hug. Peggy wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed tight, though it wasn’t reciprocated in the slightest. She hummed as she pulled away and smiled up at him, letting her hands rest on his shoulders.

Maybe Peggy wasn’t that great.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” she said.

She walked off the patio and back into the event room. Her heels clicked the entire way.

“That was a bit weird, wasn’t it?” Richard asked. “I didn’t imagine that?”

“No. No, it was weird.”

They looked through the glass doors, eyes on Peggy until she completely disappeared in the crowd. Maybe Cherry Bomb would keep her distance next time they met. Surely, Peggy would catch the hint.

“Do you want to leave and get chips?” Richard asked.

“Fuck, yes. Please.”

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Spilling Tea On Phantom of the Opera 2004

DISCLAIMER: I just want to say from the start that it is not my intention to offendanyone, you're entitled to your opinions and I'm allowed to have mine...

Ok, so, I just watched this movie a few days ago on my laptop and it was pretty much my first time sitting through the movie. I watched a few clips of the movie on YouTube but... Then, I decided to watch the whole movie. And this was my reaction.

Don't get me wrong! There WERE parts I liked but... That was just half of the movie... But overall... Um... It was meh. Ahem. Down to business!

My opinion on Gerard Butler as the Phantom? Um, wow. And not in a good way. I feel like this was a case of a talented performer being grossly miscast as the Phantom. I think this Tumblr post best describes on what I thought of his singing.

"He's supposed to have the voice of an angel, but it sounds like he's been gargling vinegar" ~Quoted by @faded-florals

Don't get me wrong. His voice is quite good for an untrained singer but... The Phantom is one of the biggest musical theatre roles of all time! It's right up there with Jean Valjean. It's really not a role that could go a competent singer, someone who's never sang professionally before but could be good once they've been trained up a bit. The role demands a truly great singer... And he wasn't right for the part.

His voice felt too strainy, growly and rock-ish for the Phantom. I didn't like how Joel Schumacher bought into the whole "sexy Phantom" thing and cast a hunky heart-throb, who was nowhere near disfigured enough. It's meant to be a gothic thriller novel with a small romantic subplot, not a B-grade vampire romance movie!

As for Emmy Rossum as Miss Christine Daae... it's true, her voice is good. She should know though, should she wish to excel, she has MUCH still to learn (Heeeeehee. Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

Emmy's Christine had little-to-no character growth and personality but I don't think it reflects her as an actress, but reflects more on the director and casting director because of how young she was (but more on that later)

Not only that, her Christine was SIGNIFICANTLY dumbed down and oversexualized. I mean, the entire point of the story is that Christine grows strong enough to overcome the trauma of an abusive relationship and make sure that her abuser never hurts anyone ever again but still shows the Phantom compassion and sympathy. I mean, her story arc is her becoming strong-willed enough to overcome the Phantom's pull/spell/enchantment/hypnosis or whatever you percieve it as on her! And don't get me started on her costumes because of the SEVERE lack of modesty.

The chemistry was a little flat because she was underage and her two male love interests were both in their 30s (which totally isn't HER fault, of course, but the directors could easily have cast someone else older)

Her voice, too, strikes me as being much too young and undeveloped. She has a very pretty, sweet-sounding quality to her singing but she doesn't sound rich and operatic enough to be a convincing Christine. Rebecca Caine and Amy Manford do the best job of singing the way I think Christine ought to sound- a maturing opera voice! Though POTO is NOT an opera (you wouldn't believe how many people actually think it is...), it does revolve around opera, and Christine is an opera singer, not a pop star.

And now onto... Everyone's favourite vicomte!!!!!!

C'mon people, put your bottles down. It is a truth universally acknowledged (or at least in the wee Raoul Defense Squad Circle) that Raoul is one of the greatest and most underrated boyfriends to ever exist in musical theatre and it's almost impossible to hate him because of how relatable he is.

Ladies, puh-leeze. He's much more relatable than you admit and face it, we all have a little bit of Raoul in us. Failure to see things staring us in the face, saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a 'see it to believe it' attitude when we have little-to-no evidence on something... yeah, don't pretend you don't see a trend. Raoul is relatable whether we want him to be or not.

My thoughts on Patrick Wilson as Raoul, he was one of the few redeeming qualities of this not so great movie. Yeah, the swordfight and Tarzan leaps were a little too much but can you blame him?! And though I feel like that foppish wig made him look more like a magic elf prince than a vicomte, he couldn't control that!

His Raoul was so gentle and caring! Yeah, his acting was a bit stiff but at least his voice wasn't a chore to listen to, it has this warm, tender, comforting quality to it which suits Raoul. I really loved the way he sang "Don't throw away your life for my sake" and "I fought so hard to free you" in the Final Lair (😭😭😭) It feels like Raoul is genuinely apologising to Christine.

I know, I know... The Hadley Fraser fans are approaching with menacing expressions as we speak but let me clarify. I still think Hadley is amazing but... His Raoul kinda felt a little too shouty for me and his Raoul was closer to the LND-canon than POTO-canon (not his fault though).

Miranda Richardson (aka. Rita Skeeter) as Madame Giry is kind of weird. I mean, I know Madame Giry's supposed to be a little Strange and Mysterious. But this Mme. wasn't really Strange or Mysterious at all, or even slightly Spooky at all. She was just kind of an oddball. Popping up in random places to give warnings about the Phantom and looking at people as if she were questioning their life choices or something. As for her daughter... well, Jennifer Ellison's Meg was so-so. She's got a sweet-sounding voice and that added scene where she looked for Christine in the lair was a nice touch... But... Her Meg was kinda forgettable and uninteresting. Meg is supposed to prance around shrieking that the Phantom of the Opera is here, not whisper it in a blase manner that you half expect to be followed up with, "by the way, what's for lunch?" Not to mention, she rivaled Christine as far as low-necked costumes went.

Minnie Driver as Carlotta was spot on! Yes, I know she didn't sing the score but her acting was alright. She was very over-the-top and self-centered, which is great for Carlotta, but I felt her portrayal was a little too childish to be accurate. Carlotta is a successful middle-aged diva who's willing to scream and storm when she doesn't get her way, but she isn't a two-year-old pouting and throwing tantrums. (Yes, there's a difference.)

Ciaran Hinds and Simon Callow played Firmin and Andre, respectively. Their managers kinda felt like twits and nothing more. Also, Firmin's masquerade costume was ridiculous. The stupid kind, not the funny kind. ...Well, okay, it was a little funny.

I'm not going to touch on every song here, but I will say that "Hannibal" was beyond awful (if you thought the costumes in the stage version were a bit risque, you should see the movie ones- no, actually you shouldn't) and that "Think of Me," while very nice, was not particularly memorable. Christine's dress, however (despite its less-than-ideal neckline) was GORGEOUS, even though it looks completely out of place in a musical that supposedly takes place in ancient Alexandria.

"Little Lotte" kinda lost its charm by being spoken instead of sung. And Gerard Butler's voice in "The Mirror" was too rough and raspy for my ears and made me cringe in sympathetic shame. The title song was like a cheesy, campy B-grade horror movie tbh, trying way too hard to be spooky and chilling ("ooh, look, Phantom's Lair! It's DARK and SCARY down here!") and succeeding only in being cringeworthy. Not that I've actually ever seen a bad horror movie- or any horror movie at all, for that matter. Unless you count this one.

Christine's costume, too, annoyed me no end. She was basically wearing a corset and drawers under the dressing gown. *facepalm* The dressing gown is supposed to go OVER your COSTUME to keep it CLEAN, peeps. It's not a BATHROBE. And the amount of eye makeup she had on would terrify a raccoon. Yikes.

Though I liked the random horse because of its nod to the Leroux novel.

"Music of the Night" was so blah-slash-touchy-feely that it made me summarily uncomfortable.

I'd like to be able to say something nice about "I remember/Stranger than you dreamt it" but I have none. One thing that bugged me to no end was how Christine is no longer wearing stockings, like dude, that gives some GROSS implications. Anyways, let's skip to Il Muto!

Oh, but first I should say that "Notes" was rather a flop and that "Prima Donna" is unmemorable and indeed should probably be fast-forwarded as there's a rather unsavory bit involving a crew member showing the audience what he thinks of Carlotta's behaviour.

"Il Muto," I must say, was pretty doggone funny. Carlotta's "Your part is silent. Leetle toad," cracked me up into a bunch of giggling little pieces, and the little vignette of the Phantom tinkering with Carlotta's throat spray made her croaking later on a lot more believable.

Now for "All I Ask Of You", SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I honestly can't understand how anyone could listen to this song and still maintain that Christine and Raoul don't belong together. He represents everything she needs- stability, protection, a guiding hand and affirmed affection. She represents everything he needs, in turn- someone to show affection to and his childhood friend.

One thing I definitely think could have been left out was the scene in which Erik kills Buquet- we totally did not need to see him being chased, terrified, through the rafters and finally strangled. Gross.

And the Phantom and his rose crouching behind that statue... I think this was supposed to be sad, but there was too much snot mixed with tears for it to be sad. It was, again, gross. So was Gerard Butler's pathetic attempt at the "all that the Phantom asked of you" line. And the lack of a chandelier crash in that scene made the song anticlimactic.

And "Masquerade" was so-so but... The Phantom's entrance is anticlimactic somehow, and his Red Death costume (if indeed it's supposed to even BE the Red Death) is unimpressive. I don't like how Raoul just runs off to desert Christine as soon as things start looking ugly (yes, I realize he was going to get his sword, but still... something could have happened to her while he was gone. Duh, did this guy learn anything from "Little Lotte/The Mirror"? Just sayin)

As for Madame Giry's flashback immediately following, I like how it gives us some of the Phantom's backstory, but it seems really abrupt. You don't even realize until she's done that she was talking to Raoul the whole time- it sounds like she's just randomly reminiscing about Stuff, and if you didn't know the story you might be sitting there thinking, "who is this strange woman again?"

Also, Christine leaving wherever-it-is at, like, five in the morning to go to who-knows-where, completely oblivious to the fact that the Phantom is driving her. Whaaaaaaaaa? How'd he know she was planning to go for a graveyard stroll? Was he watching her through the mirror again? THAT'S JUST CREEPY.

"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" was rather mediocre and dulled down the fact that it is a Christine Empowerment™ song. Why, exactly, does Christine's father have the biggest monument in the cemetery? If he were a rich and famous violinist as his crypt seems to suggest, why on earth was his daughter struggling along as a chorus girl taking free music lessons?

The swordfight... Well... I had mixed feelings about it. Sword fights are all well and good, but... The swordfight takes away the element of mysterious danger to the Phantom. Okay, fine, Christine getting Raoul to spare the Phantom's life is a nice touch, I guess, but did it strike no one else that his "now let it be war upon you BOTH" makes absolutely NO sense after that? If she just saved his life, why would he suddenly be all, "thanks, but no thanks, I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUUUUUUUUUU"?

And "Twisted Every Way" was after "Wishing" which made ZERO sense. Plus, I didn't like how they cut most of it because in the musical, it gave Christine a spine!

"Point of No Return"? Hooooooo boy....... There are so many things wrong with this number. Let's just a list a few.

*HOW did no one recognise the Phantom through his "disguise"?! At least in the stage play, it made more sense because of how he was wearing a cloak that obscured most of his body.

*Christine's sleeves falling down over and over again were REALLY annoying.

*It was just too touchy-feely for my taste.

*The fact that Emmy Rossum was a teenager during filming made this scene gross because of the way they oversexualized Christine in this scene.

*Gerard Butler's voice in that scene made me cringe and shake my head in sympathetic shame.

*In the stage play, Christine ran from him, showing her own agenda and resistance to his pull! While in the movie, she didn't resist him!

*Now for the one that took the cake... The disfigurement! Or it would be a disfigurement if it actually made him look, y'know, deformed. Instead, as several people have put it, he looks like he got a bad sunburn or something. It's really rather pathetic. It makes him look more like a drama queen than he already is! Yeah.... I really don't like this movie.

On to... Final Lair!!!!!!!! It was a flop. From Raoul's whining and flailing around and his stringy hair flopping about (shallow complaint, I know, but it's so ugly) to Christine's sappy melodramatic "don't make me choooooooose" faces to the Phantom's prancing around with his ropes and maniacal laughter that somehow wasn't really scary at all... yeah, it was a flop. A major, major flop. And though The Kiss wasn't all that bad, all I could think of was, "She's SIXTEEN! SIX! TEEN! THIS IS CREEPY, DISTURBING AND GROSS!"

Which is why it's so difficult for me to admit that, um, I... cried at the end.

I COULDN'T HELP IT GUYS HE WAS ALL ALONE THERE IN HIS LAKE WITH HIS MONKEY AND HIS SMASHED MIRRORS AND HE WAS CRYING AND IT WAS SAD.

And then that rose on the gravestone? That single red rose? And the look on Old Raoul's face (still Patrick Wilson, by the way, under all that makeup) when he saw it and realized he wasn't the only one visiting Christine's grave? Yup, I lost it again there, too. And I really didn't want to. Because I tend to cry over movies I love, y'know? And I didn't love this movie. At all

Yet I still cried at the end. I'm not really sure why. I think perhaps it had something to do with the way the story still "got" me, deep down inside, despite the lousy casting and less-than-perfect singing and ridiculously unnecessary elements that totally didn't need to be there. It's still a tragically beautiful romance, and even a bad film can't kill that.

In conclusion, I think Mary Poppins can best express what I thought of POTO 2004.

In conclusion, I rate it a 2.7/5

[darkspellmaster]

Thoughts on E3 2018 -EA

I’m going to start this out by saying right now that I’m basing my review of Nintendo on what they showed in the Treehouse as well as the main direct. So the score is going to be based on what we know by the end of day three of the treehouse, and the same for the other groups if they had additional presentations after their main show.

So let’s start with EA….Oh EA….

Starting out with the Host Andrea Rene, who I feel got stuck in a rock and a hard place with this weak presser, as she’s known for being a better host for her other appearances. Honestly, I somewhat had to honestly cringe on her segment with Respawn’s developer Vince Zampella due to the weird comment about getting to hold a light saber. Like I don’t know if she was trying to be funny, sarcastic, or sexy here? I was confused with it. Again, I don’t blame her for the conference, but I didn’t feel like she was a good fit for this given the response. Then again, I don’t think that anyone could have made that Conference work.

As for the games shown, I have a few thoughts.

Battlefield V looks nice, presentation wise, but given that it’s mostly a cinematic trailer, we didn’t really get to see a lot of in game footage. What we did learn though from Dice was that the environments are now destructive, and you can dive roll out windows (which might be interesting if you’re into that) as well as having movable artillery (which didn’t happen in the last game) which could be useful if you’re into that. Also they reiterated the lack of Loot Boxes and premium passes, yet didn’t mention anything about a deal with microtransactions. On top of this they’re bringing back a Battle Royal to the game.

There’s not much I can say on this other then what has been said already, although the fact that it’s pretty much what DICE has been doing in regard to the main series anyway. Given that leveling up has some ties to currency, I’m wondering if in lieu of loot boxes they’re just going to microtransaction this game. What has me a bit worried about the Single player aspect of the game is that there’s hints that it’s going to be tied into the live service which makes me think that it’s going to be limited play offline, and for someone that prefers playing mostly off line…

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order had no trailer at all. Just Respawn’s Vince Zampella explaining what it is. I’m not even sure if they were planning to have it be something to be presented (why even mention it if it’s not ready to be?) but it was a really odd vibe with that moment. The game itself doesn’t seem to have a lot going on. What we know was that it’s taking place between Episodes III and IV, and deals with a padawaan that escaped from Anakin’s moment of being nutty and you can use lightsabers. However, unless this is Kaan’s story we’re kind of running into the whole “Luke not being the last Jedi” story thus nullifying the line that Yoda said somewhat. Unless he or she never takes the Jedi oath.  I mean, sounds cool, but we don’t even know what sort of type of game it is. We do know it will be out during the Holiday season 2019. So that’s a plus, but I would think that we’d at least have gotten a quick moment of something to see.

Star Wars Battlefront II made me roll my eyes a bit, as it was repeated trailer footage over and over, which personally annoys me, but I guess was the only thing they had to show. So we saw the new Solo Content, Yay –I guess? And learned we’re getting an expansion for the Clone Wars with Obi Wan, Grievous, Dooku and Anakin showing up for that. No surprise that EA had the Director of the game saying that they made some mistakes over EA actually apologizing for their horrible practices. Yeah, no EA, you don’t get a pass for any of the BS you pulled this past year.

Unravel 2 by  Coldwood Interactive  came out the day of the conference, which was a nice change of pace. I will say this much the creative team was nervous, but showed a great deal of love for Yarny and his new companion. The fact that this is local co-op is a plus, and seems to be a fun game. Already I’m loving the blue Yarny and it looks like it’s going to be a strong story. The one thing that was rather sad about this game is that it’s not coming to the Switch and –apparently according to the development team via Twitter –they don’t have the resources to do that, even though this game and the previous one would have been a good choice for the Switch. The fact that the team said it wishes they could do it makes me wonder if EA is sending any money the way of the Originals teams that they have. If not, they should start considering porting games like this to the switch because I can tell you it will sell even more over on that console then the Xbox and PS4.

Sea of Solitude is yet another Indie that I would say saved the EA presser from falling into a F grade and leaves it at an E. The creative director from Jo –Mei games, the creators of this game from Germany, Cornelia Geppert, was extremely cute and excited to be on stage. Her infectious excitement made people applaud even more when they put the trailer on the screen. The thing that caught my attention about this game is that it covers the idea of depression and loneliness in a very strong and very direct way. The designs of the monsters and the story about a human becoming a bird like creature, which I think has ties to German folklore is really cool and again, I wish this was coming to the switch, although we don’t know at this point if it will or won’t. If EA was smart it would allow for it.

And then EA decided to screw up the love that was being given to them via the indies by pulling out…a mobile game of Command and Conquer.

Command and Conquer: Rivals…I have words about this. The original game series was a Real Time strategy game that had a lot of complexity to the creation of the game play and the set up to maintain and manage your resources while taking out the opposing team. The last game of this nature from the Command and conquer franchise came out in 2013, on PC, and then Victory was shuttered. Which leads us to the new game. Command and Conquer Rivals is mobile and while the team does boast some former members that worked on Command and Conquer a lot of the game play relies on the idea of tapping the smart phone screen. There’s no camera movement so you’re in a static place and can’t see what’s around you to figure out what you need to do. Given the reaction to Rivals so far, it seems like people are not too happy with the situation. This game, apparently, is trying to get in with the Clans like games. Which makes me wonder if we’re going to see a lot of money grabs from EA on it.

Something slightly worse was the whole shoutcast that was put up by EA, and that I wound up skipping because it seemed way too staged. The fact that it’s also a one vs. one deal makes me think that they’re going after the Pokemon go crowd as well.

The final piece from EA was the Bioware game that I’ve been dreading…

Anthem, is…in a word…Sad. I don’t mean it’s sad in the sense that it’s physically depressing to see as it has the same sleek Bioware style, that’s not the issue. I expected nothing less from Bioware and the team behind this game. My issue for the sad comes from the fact that it’s a Game as a Service, or GAAS. Which means it’s on line all the time, and that means if you have crappy internet connections you may as well skip this game. While they mentioned that the game will have no loot boxes, there was nothing about no microtransactions, and, given the nature of the game and the whole “We have content for years to come” it makes me think that this is going to end up catering only to people who like to play Destiny. The fact that normally fans of Bioware tend to like RPGs, and thus more single player affairs over multiplayer affairs makes me think that EA is trying to use Bioware to grab at the GAAS players. Now, on the one hand, it’s true that there are a lot of players that like GAAS games, and I’m not saying that they’re bad. The issue becomes, again, if you don’t have the net for it, and given the FCC crap that just went through it makes me wonder how badly this whole thing will work out. Also if you don’t like Always online games you may as well pass on this because that’s all this is going to be.  How do you manage to make Iron Man fighting Monsters seem dull. Great Job guys at doing that. 

We also saw notices about Fifa 19, and it’s practically become a monopoly given that Konami and another studio lost their license of the Championship and another tournament from Soccer. Not much changed  other than some sort of mini game, and then we had Madden and NBA, and I think that was it. I didn’t pay much mind to a lot of it because after seeing the indie presentation it felt like EA had lost touch with what makes for a good presentation….

So over all I would give EA an E, the indie area of their presser was nice and gave some bit of hope, but the over all presentation of mostly Online games and sports games, felt like EA has forgone making actual games and is now pretty much a version of Blizzard Activison.

[seongkiran-blog]

( i’m sobbing she’s precious )

hi guys, i’m jules and i’m so excited to be a part of this rp !! i just saw that my app was in all caps by mistake bc my phone likes to fuck with me like that and i’m cringing omg. so i applied a few days ago but life got super hectic and i only just reapplied now that i’ve come up for air rip. but this is my eternally fucked, lowkey honey girl kiran who thinks she’s stoic and intimidating af but more often than not has the smallest of smiles at the v least on her face. here’s some basic — & extensive, sorry lmao — info about her ( TW: death, self-destructive behaviour, adjustment disorder/situational depression ) :

born seong kiran/kiran diana seong on march 12, 1997

scarborough, canada born and raised to first-gen korean-canadian parents

the epitome of a bitter smol™ that’s prepared to fight over everything (stubborn brat )

has twin five year old siblings that she fucking adores, which is a big deal since she doesn’t care intensely for many people

her parents were both only kids that ventured into science-based careers; her mom was a pharmacist at her late grandparents’ small clinic and her dad was a neurosurgeon at toronto gen hospital, so they were upper-middle class you could say

s u c k e d at making friends in her formative years and when she did, they didn’t stay for v long

plenty of chances for her to find new friends though since the gta is huge and has a ton of other kids around so it wasn’t all in vain

also her vanity when she was a kid was prob a turn off for others lol

smart af, like english? a’s. math? a’s french? a+

eventually didn’t suck at the whole friend thing and had a small group of people she grew rather fond of

she ended up graduating as valedictorian and was accepted to mcgill to study pre-med and become a neurosurgeon just like papa seong

always wanted to follow in his footsteps, so it came as no surprise to her parents

( TW: DEATH ) during her midterm break in her first sem, her parents decided to take the family to their cabin near muskoka for a weekend away from the city/suburbs

they were a little over halfway there when her dad tried to veer the suv away from a moose in the middle of their lane, but wasn’t successful

kiran was conscious during the whole thing, though she sustained a concussion and the twins were unharmed in their carseats; however their mother died on impact and their father suffered from a cranial injury ( .. i only just realized how ironic and morbid this is after working with this muse for a while oh my g o d )

she went with the twins to the hospital and was inconsolable over the loss of her mother alone, while her father was in critical condition and the outlook was promising, though not certain

he was put in a medically induced coma after being operated on and she and her godparents ( who advised her on the whole thing since they were docs themselves ) decided to hold out hope for a recovery

the twins were put in her care and she was left to deal with the burden of their loss, her education and the obvious, her brother and sister’s newfound dependency on her

she withdrew from the few people she became close to over the years, her grades began to slip as well, and she was always weighed down by grief and anxiety

she tried to stay in school while taking care of the twins, but it was becoming more and more difficult to do so. she just managed to keep her head above water throughout the rest of the first sem though

moved out of res, into an apartment and relocated the twins for the time being to see if she could pull it off

( TW: SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR ) add the fact that a part of her began to question if she could really follow in her dad’s footsteps, and that she let further anxiety from the pressures of making her parents proud get to her and she was soon on a downward spiral

she slipped away from her academics and was slowly becoming a poor guardian; soon, kiran was partying too hard and winding up in the hospital or a stranger’s dorm, skipping labs, and was generally a lost cause when the twins were under the care of a sitter

failed a couple of courses by the end of the second semester and had her godparents flying out to crack down on her dumb ass

felt hopeless and lost, but especially so when she posed the risk of losing the only family that she had left, realizing how selfish her actions were and trying to amend her mistakes

dropped out of mcgill for the time being and took up a job as a retail clerk to provide for the three of them ( despite inheriting their mom’s estate and all, as she put the money that came from it into the kids’ savings )

was soon in the clear in her godparents’ opinion and has tried to do right by her parents and siblings since then

after losing herself for a while, she found that she was right back to where she started with friend-making, but rather than it being her just not knowing how, it was that she didn’t want to let people in after everything that had happened

she didn’t remain a loner, but she didn’t have a ride or die by any means

for the sake of her a.d and bc of the bad memories that t.o and mtl held, she found herself relocating to greenville of all places

but deep down she knows mama seong would be happy about the kids growing up in a smaller town than near dt toronto

about four months after settling in, she began attending a nearby college in what would have been her fourth semester and has since maintained a high gpa after retaking the courses she fucked up in

her dad has since woken up, but he’s going through extensive forms of therapy to restore his motor, neurological, etc functions

she’d be back in t.o if her godparents hadn’t advised against it since it was still rly overwhelming for him and his three kids ( two of whom wouldn’t rly know him either ) coming back prob wouldn’t help ??

still has nightmares from the accident, the girl’s scarred for life and is thankful that the twins were too young to remember

sees a psychiatrist at the behest of her godmother bc she rly can’t cope by herself in all of this but she doesn’t like to burden others with her problems ( doesn’t like people knowing much about her regardless but )

now to her personality and extra facts ig ??? this has gotten so out of hand already, sTOP ME

the most stubborn chick alive, will never admit she’s wrong unless you weasel it out of her with some heavy guilt-tripping

she used to be a fucking NIGHTMARE to most people before everything went awry, still can be but it’s more or less an act with a little bit of it also being herself

a true instagram addict, which makes sense bc she can be p vain at times

rather intuitive tbh

can be insightful as well

feigns annoyance and boredom with people/their antics

some weird ass detachment method on her part that she didn’t shake, but question her on it and she’ll shut it tf down

but is still genuinely, easily irritated all the same ?? not even i understand this chick

curses like a sailor is she isn’t too curt in her responses

has a problem with trusting others, feels like she can only truly rely on herself so if you break through that barrier then congrats ig

she won’t make it obvious though, she’s a sociable being and will actually take to you if you pique her interest with free booze or a wild story

just don’t expect her to surrender much of her life story, but she’ll also get a bit offended if you don’t offer a bit of your own ??

the most annoying internalizer of emotions ever if you’re actually friends with her, 110% will not confide in you if you’re not one of four or five people in her life

also fears loss more than anything, so she isn’t close to many people for BOTH the trusting aspect, as well as wanting to spare herself the pain of watching more loved ones die or leave

but if you’re one of the v select few people she’s let in completely, she’ll never let you go. she’s the definition of loyal and will legit die for you

so so devoted to her little brother and sister, like she loves them more than anything and does everything so that they can succeed when they’re older

all of the sports acceptable for kindergarteners, music lessons, ballet, you name it, she’s got them registered

puts them before herself all the fucking time, her mom wouldn’t be impressed with her putting herself last as opposed to finding equilibrium

anyways, point is, you’ll never see her be more affectionate and joyful than with her family, godparents included

her being good with other kids though ?? she’s been working on it and she’s coming around

still can’t stand screaming brats though lmao

will be super polite to even her enemy’s parents mostly bc fuck that person.. unless their parents aren’t pleasant people either, then she’ll be unpleasant right back lmao

trust me when i say that she has a heart of gold and will do what’s morally right, is so so soft but will forever be in denial like i cannOT STRESS ENOUGH

defensive pessimism at its finest

fluent in french and korean

memes are lowkey the way to her heart

well, memes and food ofc

such a poutine hoe™

sci fi junkie

here for aesthetically pleasing everything

her place is almost never in disorder, oddly enough

quite the party girl, though not the same as when she was a frosh, is able to control herself when there aren’t too many stressors plaguing her

queer af, doesn’t know what her sexuality is but she knows she isn’t straight ( but for all intents and purposes, she’s pansexual )

she just needs someone else to take care of her honestly, she still doesn’t know what she’s doing with herself lmao

trying her best™ to be better in general but change doesn’t happen overnight so she’s not rushing into it, aka she’s still comfortable with being a bit of an asshole for as long as possible

you sometimes won’t know who she is from one day to the next, kind of the personification of a wild ride

so that’s kiran, if you’d like to plot just hmu or like this and i’ll come to you !! i’ll link some possible connections later bc my laptop’s about to die and i can’t find the charger anywhere ? @my mom, pls stop moving my stuff, it’s giving me more heart palpitations than my econ final last month

[timdontknow]

In planning to write all of this, I contemplated a few things.  First, who gives a damn?  Writing a long essay about myself and my year is such an act of self-importance.  Relative to everything going on in this world and every other person on the planet, I’m not even a blip on the radar.  Also, what am I even attempting to say?  I have had an extremely difficult time collecting my thoughts in a cohesive, coherent way for a number of months, and constantly living with that is not easy.  What makes me think doing all of this is going to result in me having something meaningful to say?  To answer these questions briefly, I don’t know.  I don’t know who gives a damn.  I don’t know if anyone is reading this right now.  I don’t know what I’m trying to say.  I don’t know if this will accomplish anything.  

What I do know, however, is that all I have is my experiences and my perspective.  That is all any one of us has.  We can try to learn about other people, but we are not capable of fully understanding a life that we are not living.  However, that does not make our own individual experiences without value.  Why else would we get up every morning, go get an education, go to our jobs, surround ourselves with people we love and do things we love?  And, while no two of us are the same, there are experiences that we all share.  That sharing is the beauty of interpersonal relationships.  So yes, this may partially be an exercise in self-importance, allowing me to vocalize, organize, and broadcast my past few months, but if this year has taught me anything, it’s that I can use a little bit of work on that interpersonal development.  Anyway, two paragraphs of administrative bullshit is down.  Let’s get to business.

From an outside perspective, I started this year on top of the world.  I was in the middle of my first season working my dream job at twenty-three years old.  My income had tripled.  I was living in the city where I had envisioned myself living and thriving since I was a teenager. I was taking care of my body in the most respectful way I ever had. Everything was going right, and in those regards, mostly everything is still going right.  I am still working on my two favorite shows of all time, now living comfortably in a stylishly decorated one-bedroom in the gay enclave of West Hollywood.  I took a three-week vacation between gigs and spent my time driving up and down the California coast, following my favorite musical artists to see their concerts.  I had no problem broadcasting all of this.  And I did.  Is it a little showy?  Of course, but I don’t think you should be ashamed of your accomplishments, especially when the people you are connected with are supposed to be the people that care about you and support you.  It’s never my intention to diminish the lives of other people when I share about my life online, which is how I fear it comes off at times.  I just like to broadcast the things that make me happy, and I think we all should.  I like being happy, and I like seeing the people I choose to surround myself with be happy.

The flip side of that, though, is that I am the first to acknowledge that the way I present myself online is extremely manicured.  I mostly share the good, and when I do share the bad, it’s always with a wink or some self-deprecating humor.  In reflecting, I guess there’s a few reasons for this.  One, I don’t expect or want a pity party.  Everyone is going through their own shit, and I know and understand that my shit is so unbelievably minor in relation to that of other people’s.  Second, as harsh as this may sound, I find myself cringing at people oversharing.  Not always.  People who share intimate and vulnerable aspects of their lives are extremely courageous, but some people take it to an extreme of laying out every intimate detail of their lives on a daily basis, and I personally do not want to be that person, as I like to maintain a modicum of privacy.  In a sense, you could say that I’m jealous of people who are that open online, but I do think that there is a balance to be achieved.

So what problem or problems am I even talking about?  If you know nothing else about me, you know that I am a bit of a…life virgin?  Don’t drink, don’t do drugs, never have, never will.  That’s another conversation for another day.  In regards to all of this, though, I had never been on a date until this year.  My close friends who I do actually talk to about these things never heard the end of it.  Since I was about 14 years old and realized that I was gay, I have been desperately wanting a relationship.  There is a brilliant scene in Love, Simon, that to this day I can’t get through without choking up, where Simon is talking to his mother, played by Jennifer Garner.  Garner’s character made the simple, yet astute observation that being gay is something you have to go through alone a lot of the time, particularly in the beginning.  It sucks.  All throughout high school and college, I was chasing after cute boys in my head, as to not go through all of this alone, but not chasing them in reality, and every time it got to a point where I realized nothing was going to come of it, my heart shattered.  But, with time, my heart rebuilt, I collected myself, and I moved on.  Such a fun cycle, right?  Well, there is another part of that scene where Simon’s mom told him that staying closeted was like he was holding his breath, and that now that he was out, he could finally exhale.  I had never heard the experience described so simply and so perfectly.  While that was true of my coming out experience, it also applied to finally entering my first relationship.

I guess I should clarify that we never really explicitly put that label on it.  All I know is that whatever it was, was all I ever wanted.  To rewind, I was on a weird schedule towards the end of May and had Monday and Tuesday nights off, and one fateful Monday went to grab drinks (in my case, fountain cokes) with a friend.  The bartender was just about the cutest thing I’d ever laid my eyes on.  My lack of social skills reached new heights, trying desperately to have an organic conversation, but at the same time thinking about how I was coming across as a dick with every line coming out of my mouth.  Despite that, somehow, we both knew that underneath the nervous facades we were putting up, there was a connection.  The next week, I went back to relive what I was sure was just a short fantasy of me actually, you know, talking to a guy.  As the season wrapped up, I kept going back and back, and back and back, each time with different friends, figuring out another piece of the puzzle of whether or not he was interested, until we concluded, yes, he was, and I scribbled my number and a horrifying smiley face on a napkin that I wrapped in his bartending tip.  The next morning, I woke up to a text from him.  The rest was history.

We could talk for hours on end, about everything, about nothing.  That exhale that I had mentioned?  He was my exhale, nine years in the making.  Someone, finally, who understood me, who shared my interests, and who most importantly, I felt completely comfortable around, comfort the likes of which I had never experienced.  I fell really hard, really fast.  I knew I was probably being extremely naïve, but I did not care.  The one piece of my life I always thought was missing had arrived.  I was walking around with a massive smile on my face.  Friends noticed my new demeanor and were taken aback by it.  It was that intense.  And in those moments, those were the happiest few weeks of my life.

As you could probably deduce, this does not have the happiest of endings.  Things started to get complicated, primarily that he was not making time for me.  We were hanging out at most once a week, and sometimes, even that promised once a week fell through.  I started with gentle nudges, which over time would turn into full on fights.  I knew what I deserved, and it wasn’t being given to me, and it hurt.  But what also hurt was knowing that he had his own issues he was going through, which he was very guarded about.  With that, I made excuses for him, because I saw the amazing person he was underneath all of that, so I would let it slide over and over again.  That is until he went three weeks without following through on any plans to see me, despite still always talking to me, and bailing on me on my birthday, which was the final nail in my coffin.  I dumped him.  On my birthday.

I called up a friend, sobbing my eyes out, having them walk me through what to say and how to say it.  No part of me wanted to follow through with it, but it felt like an act of self-preservation.  I couldn’t continue to be strung along, only to be disrespected time and time again.  As much as I had wanted a relationship for almost a decade, I always told myself that I wouldn’t be in one at the expense of my own self-worth.  It was toxic.  I know, intellectually, that I did the right thing.  Intellect seldom wins in the battle against the heart though, so less than 48 hours later, I went crawling back.

It’s been nearly two months since that break up, and to this exact day, I have tried through every means necessary to rekindle what we had.  Trying to say the exact right thing at the exact right time to get him either to have a serious conversation with me or hang out with me in person.  I’ve even gone to the bar during his shift several times, just so I could steal a glance of his eyes, his smile, his personality, and his heart, as much as I knew that it would make things infinitely worse should it not work out.  What have I accomplished in these past two months?  Nothing but constant confusion, anger, and sadness.  The cycles that brought us here in the first place have just been repeating.  Broken promises of seeing each other.  Broken promises of serious conversations.  I’ve sent multiple of what I thought were ultimatums that he ignored, told myself I was done, and then completely melted back into him when he would send me a meme on facebook.

This begs the question, what the hell is wrong with me?  A very fair question.  This guy is clearly not going to change.  I have been trying to get him to put in the effort for five months, because in spite of his bullshit, I just like him so much.  When you’re too picky, scared, or unsure to pursue someone for 23 years, and you finally meet the person that makes all of that go away, you want to fight for it, no matter the cost.  The cost has been rough.  I have kept myself largely cooped in my apartment since things started to go south while we were still together.  I’ve stopped taking care of myself.  I’ve let relationships with friends slip through the cracks.  I’ve entered a cycle that is impossibly hard to escape from.  Over a boy that didn’t even treat me right.

I sent one last message to him last night, pleading with him to tell me what he wants.  Where his head is at.  Anything that will give me some semblance of an answer.  I told him what a toll these past few months have taken on me mentally, physically, and emotionally, and said that I was prepared for any answer, but that I just needed an answer to start to heal.  All that I got was another non-answer.  He said that he likes me, but doesn’t feel the need to say that he’ll hang out with me, because he’ll just hang out with me at some point, and that he doesn’t have the time for a full on relationship right now.  What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?  He’s giving me a semblance of hope and then basically saying but not right now.  So, does that mean it may work in the future?

Of course not.  All that was was a “no” shrouded in some bullshit, that I am eating right up.  I know what the answer is.  As I responded to those messages, I knew what the answer was, but I searched high and low around that answer and pulled out the part that would bring me right back into the cycle.  I woke up today, stayed curled up on my couch waiting two hours for his answer, and then spent another two hours curled up on my couch processing that response.  So here we are.

I guess now that I’ve spent the better part of two hours writing all of this down, I’ve reached some conclusions.  First, nobody is exempt from going through shit.  I have been, to my detriment, put on a pedestal for practically my entire life.  I’ve expected nothing but excellence out of myself, and, to my standards, have achieved that so far in nearly every facet of my life.  However, the higher you are, the harder you fall.  When there is one thing that you desperately want, and you finally get it after so long, only to have it crash and burn, it can really suck the life out of you.

The second thing I guess I’ve come to realize is that if you spend your entire life chasing nothing but perfection in every part of your life, you are going spend your entire life being sorely disappointed.  I have let one bad relationship diminish and damage all of the beautiful things in my life.  Achieving life long goals at 23, living in my dream city, meeting my idols, having amazing people around me.  That’s a damn shame.

The third thing I realized is that you rarely see the people immediately around you talking about their shit while they’re going through it.  Usually, we feel brave enough to broadcast our most intimate struggles once we have gone through them, processed it, and made it out stronger on the other side, and don’t get me wrong, there is beauty in that.  But I am not there yet.  Not even close.  If anything, I’m sure I’m going to keep making these exact same mistakes for the foreseeable future, and knowing that makes things even worse.  We go through trials and tribulations as humans, though.  We make mistakes, we experience loss, heartbreak, confusion, anger, and sadness.  These are all a part of the human experience.  We don’t need to just pretend that we’re not feeling these things until they’ve passed.  As bad as self-sabotage is, containment isn’t much better.  So, I guess if one person going through their own shit is reading this and feel like they’re in an inescapable shit storm and realizes it’s ok to live through this rough patch, that’s great.

At the end of the day, I know who I am.  I am a strong, talented, funny, charismatic, resilient, independent person.  I don’t need pity.  I don’t want pity.  I am still largely a happy person.  I really get to wake up and go live one of my dream every single day, and when I’m in those walls, I am so happy.  I’m working on making new friends on my kickball team, and when I do have the energy to meet up with the people important to me, things pick right back up where they left off. As different as these circumstances may feel right now, I know that one day, whether it be a month from now a year from now, or many years from now, that I will come outside of this on the other side with a new arsenal of lessons and experiences to carry with me through life. Life has been potentially undeservingly kind to me thus far.  That’s hard to see right this second, though, and I know I have to be the one to reclaim my life and put in the effort and steps to get to that point.  What are those steps?  To refer back to the beginning, I don’t know just yet.

[makeitwithmike]

Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary

By Dara Fontein

Have you ever cringed at something a brand or business said on social media? Often, small words can make a big difference in how brands are perceived.

Language is powerful and has a huge impact on the sentiment your content expresses. Nobody—not even a social media marketer—is perfect, so it’s understandable that a company’s social media feed may have the occasional language choice misstep.

Here’s a collection of wince-worthy words—broken down into four categories—to ban from your social media vocabulary.

4 types of language to ban from your social media posts

“Hip” lingo

You know that feeling when your dad asks about the “hippity hop” you’re listening to? That’s the same feeling audiences get from brands who try to be cool. Unless it fits your brand voice, using overly trendy lingo is a risky move for most professional organizations.

Brands don’t decide what’s cool—audiences do. When businesses try too hard to seem cool, they risk alienating their audience.

Some examples of words and phrases that you might want to swipe left on if hoping to avoid making your audience cringe in embarrassment for you:

AF: This acronym is used to help get a point across. For example, “I am hungry AF.” The ‘A’ stands for ‘as’ and the ‘F’ stands for a certain four-letter curse word. We’ll let you fill in the blanks.

I can’t even: A term that suggests you’re so overcome with emotion that you can’t form words. It’s a piece of adolescent slang that got picked up so quickly by brands that it became rapidly uncool. While a company like Taco Bell has a brand voice that allowed for the application of “I can’t even” at its peak, they have worked hard at establishing and maintaining this very specific tone.

Lit/Turnt: These mean essentially the same thing: to be intoxicated and hyped up on an event or situation. Unless they fit your brand voice, it’s probably a good idea to leave out of your social media lexicon.

Fam: If calling your audience ‘fam’ (as in, family) fits your brand voice, don’t let us hold you back. But chances are if you’re running a business, your customers might not be ready for this informal label.

Pepe Meme: While not a word or phrase, the popular Pepe the Frog meme has unfortunately become associated with racist and bigoted themes. Don’t use it.

Meaningless jargon

As a marketer, your job is to make sure your brand’s message is clear. Unfortunately, the use of marketing jargon, buzzwords, or ambiguous terms by businesses on social media is all too common. This practice alienates audience members who don’t immediately understand what the content means.

“Jargon masks real meaning,” Jennifer Chatman, management professor at the University of California-Berkeley’s Haas School of Business tells Forbes. “People use it as a substitute for thinking hard and clearly about their goals and the direction that they want to give others.”

Some common examples of marketing jargon to avoid—in your social media content or when discussing your strategy—include:

Viral: This refers to the phenomenon where online content receives an exceptional amount of engagement across social media networks. And social marketers sometimes use the term to describe their content goals. Instead of saying that your goal is for your post to go “viral,” it’s better (and easier) to establish measurable goals. For help with this, check out our guide to setting smart social media goals.

Synergy: This typically refers to the interaction between two things that creates a better result. But in the business world “synergy” is one of those terms that gets thrown around so often that it’s lost all meaning. Mashable even crowned it “the buzzword you can never escape.”

Optimize: This just means to make something as efficient as it can be. But the word ‘optimize’ has now become a catch-all for simply creating good content. You’ll often hear that “the post has been optimized,” when usually that simply means that the post was edited or reposted at a more highly trafficked time of day. This is another case where it’s better to just say what you mean, rather than throwing in a word that makes you feel smarter.

Millennial: Used by marketers to “describe people born between the early 1980s and the early 2000s,” the term “millennial” has become meaningless. While it may be helpful when your brand is trying to connect with a more mature audience who are trying to understand a younger generation, no millennial will self-identify as such. Being stereotyped in general is off-putting, and as described in our post all about the term, “there are countless competing views within that age bracket as to what is popular and what isn’t.” When marketers use the word “millennial” as an all-encompassing descriptor, they are missing the mark when it comes to authentically targeting their social media content.

Clickbait

Clickbait refers to sensational headlines that don’t deliver on their promise. As The Guardian’s Charlie Brooker explains, “We’re trying to fit in because exaggeration is the official language of the Internet, a talking shop so hopelessly overcrowded that only the most strident statements have any impact.”

If you want your brand’s authority and clout to remain intact, avoid using hyperboles in your social media posts.

A helpful tip for avoiding clickbait is to ask yourself whether the claim you’re making is really true. Some common terms to stay away from include:

Top/Best: Can you really back up a claim that what you’re offering really is the “best” advice? Don’t give your audience an opportunity to doubt you or question your credibility.

Worst: Same tip as above. If you’re going to say something is “the worst,” make sure it’s true.

Need: Again, ask yourself if this is the best word to use in your social media content. Does somebody “absolutely need to see this,” when “this” is a video of yourself acting out a Shakespearean scene with your ferrets? When you deem everything you post on social media a “need to see” or a “must-read,” it becomes a “boy who cried wolf” situation—and your audience will catch on quickly.

Only: While it’s tempting to declare your post is the “only guide to _____ you need,” the truth is that there are probably other posts of the same type and with similar information out there. When you use this kind of language, you again give your audience a chance to challenge your claims, which can cause you to lose credibility.

Cringe-worthy job titles

The final group of terms to consider cutting from your social media vocabulary has to do with marketing job descriptions. Some of these that I have come across include:

Social Media Ninja

Marketing Rock Star

Content Maven

Social Media Guru

Social Media Hacker

These kinds of nicknames, while seemingly innocent and fun, can actually have detrimental effects on your professional persona. When Jeff Barrett asked his Twitter community what they thought of these self-made job titles, he found that 9 out of 10 people felt that they devalue the person and cause others to take them less seriously.

“When someone works to showcase themselves as an expert, and then resorts to a self-declared tacky title, there’s something weird,” Christa Freeland, marketing specialist for Powershift Group in Austin, Texas, explains, “A lot of the time I see the marketing and social media types using this terminology, and it doesn’t help their case.”

The immense power of language means that careful consideration of the words and phrases you’re using in your social media and content strategies is key. Stay woke, fam.

Do social media the right way using Hootsuite. From a single dashboard you can easily schedule and publish all of your social media posts, engage with your followers, and track the success of your efforts.

Learn More

The post Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary appeared first on Hootsuite Social Media Management.

The post Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary appeared first on Make It With Michael.

from Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary

[unifiedsocialblog]

Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary

Have you ever cringed at something a brand or business said on social media? Often, small words can make a big difference in how brands are perceived.

Language is powerful and has a huge impact on the sentiment your content expresses. Nobody—not even a social media marketer—is perfect, so it’s understandable that a company’s social media feed may have the occasional language choice misstep.

Here’s a collection of wince-worthy words—broken down into four categories—to ban from your social media vocabulary.

4 types of language to ban from your social media posts

“Hip” lingo

You know that feeling when your dad asks about the “hippity hop” you’re listening to? That’s the same feeling audiences get from brands who try to be cool. Unless it fits your brand voice, using overly trendy lingo is a risky move for most professional organizations.

Brands don’t decide what’s cool—audiences do. When businesses try too hard to seem cool, they risk alienating their audience.

Some examples of words and phrases that you might want to swipe left on if hoping to avoid making your audience cringe in embarrassment for you:

AF: This acronym is used to help get a point across. For example, “I am hungry AF.” The ‘A’ stands for ‘as’ and the ‘F’ stands for a certain four-letter curse word. We’ll let you fill in the blanks.

I can’t even: A term that suggests you’re so overcome with emotion that you can’t form words. It’s a piece of adolescent slang that got picked up so quickly by brands that it became rapidly uncool. While a company like Taco Bell has a brand voice that allowed for the application of “I can’t even” at its peak, they have worked hard at establishing and maintaining this very specific tone.

Lit/Turnt: These mean essentially the same thing: to be intoxicated and hyped up on an event or situation. Unless they fit your brand voice, it’s probably a good idea to leave out of your social media lexicon.

Fam: If calling your audience ‘fam’ (as in, family) fits your brand voice, don’t let us hold you back. But chances are if you’re running a business, your customers might not be ready for this informal label.  

Pepe Meme: While not a word or phrase, the popular Pepe the Frog meme has unfortunately become associated with racist and bigoted themes. Don’t use it.

Meaningless jargon

As a marketer, your job is to make sure your brand’s message is clear. Unfortunately, the use of marketing jargon, buzzwords, or ambiguous terms by businesses on social media is all too common. This practice alienates audience members who don’t immediately understand what the content means.

“Jargon masks real meaning,” Jennifer Chatman, management professor at the University of California-Berkeley’s Haas School of Business tells Forbes. “People use it as a substitute for thinking hard and clearly about their goals and the direction that they want to give others.”

Some common examples of marketing jargon to avoid—in your social media content or when discussing your strategy—include:

Viral: This refers to the phenomenon where online content receives an exceptional amount of engagement across social media networks. And social marketers sometimes use the term to describe their content goals. Instead of saying that your goal is for your post to go “viral,” it’s better (and easier) to establish measurable goals. For help with this, check out our guide to setting smart social media goals.

Synergy: This typically refers to the interaction between two things that creates a better result. But in the business world “synergy” is one of those terms that gets thrown around so often that it’s lost all meaning. Mashable even crowned it “the buzzword you can never escape.”

Optimize: This just means to make something as efficient as it can be. But the word ‘optimize’ has now become a catch-all for simply creating good content. You’ll often hear that “the post has been optimized,”  when usually that simply means that the post was edited or reposted at a more highly trafficked time of day. This is another case where it’s better to just say what you mean, rather than throwing in a word that makes you feel smarter.

Millennial: Used by marketers to “describe people born between the early 1980s and the early 2000s,” the term “millennial” has become meaningless. While it may be helpful when your brand is trying to connect with a more mature audience who are trying to understand a younger generation, no millennial will self-identify as such. Being stereotyped in general is off-putting, and as described in our post all about the term, “there are countless competing views within that age bracket as to what is popular and what isn’t.” When marketers use the word “millennial” as an all-encompassing descriptor, they are missing the mark when it comes to authentically targeting their social media content.

Clickbait

Clickbait refers to sensational headlines that don’t deliver on their promise. As The Guardian’s Charlie Brooker explains, “We’re trying to fit in because exaggeration is the official language of the Internet, a talking shop so hopelessly overcrowded that only the most strident statements have any impact.”

If you want your brand’s authority and clout to remain intact, avoid using hyperboles in your social media posts.

A helpful tip for avoiding clickbait is to ask yourself whether the claim you’re making is really true. Some common terms to stay away from include:

Top/Best: Can you really back up a claim that what you’re offering really is the “best” advice? Don’t give your audience an opportunity to doubt you or question your credibility.

Worst: Same tip as above. If you’re going to say something is “the worst,” make sure it’s true.

Need: Again, ask yourself if this is the best word to use in your social media content. Does somebody “absolutely need to see this,” when “this” is a video of yourself acting out a Shakespearean scene with your ferrets? When you deem everything you post on social media a “need to see” or a “must-read,” it becomes a “boy who cried wolf” situation—and your audience will catch on quickly.

Only: While it’s tempting to declare your post is the “only guide to _____ you need,” the truth is that there are probably other posts of the same type and with similar information out there. When you use this kind of language, you again give your audience a chance to challenge your claims, which can cause you to lose credibility.

Cringe-worthy job titles

The final group of terms to consider cutting from your social media vocabulary has to do with marketing job descriptions. Some of these that I have come across include:

Social Media Ninja

Marketing Rock Star

Content Maven

Social Media Guru

Social Media Hacker

These kinds of nicknames, while seemingly innocent and fun, can actually have detrimental effects on your professional persona. When Jeff Barrett asked his Twitter community what they thought of these self-made job titles, he found that 9 out of 10 people felt that they devalue the person and cause others to take them less seriously.

“When someone works to showcase themselves as an expert, and then resorts to a self-declared tacky title, there’s something weird,”  Christa Freeland, marketing specialist for Powershift Group in Austin, Texas, explains, “A lot of the time I see the marketing and social media types using this terminology, and it doesn’t help their case.”

The immense power of language means that careful consideration of the words and phrases you’re using in your social media and content strategies is key. Stay woke, fam. 

Do social media the right way using Hootsuite. From a single dashboard you can easily schedule and publish all of your social media posts, engage with your followers, and track the success of your efforts.

Learn More

The post Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary appeared first on Hootsuite Social Media Management.

Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary published first on http://ift.tt/2rEvyAw

[bizmediaweb]

Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary

Have you ever cringed at something a brand or business said on social media? Often, small words can make a big difference in how brands are perceived.

Language is powerful and has a huge impact on the sentiment your content expresses. Nobody—not even a social media marketer—is perfect, so it’s understandable that a company’s social media feed may have the occasional language choice misstep.

Here’s a collection of wince-worthy words—broken down into four categories—to ban from your social media vocabulary.

4 types of language to ban from your social media posts

“Hip” lingo

You know that feeling when your dad asks about the “hippity hop” you’re listening to? That’s the same feeling audiences get from brands who try to be cool. Unless it fits your brand voice, using overly trendy lingo is a risky move for most professional organizations.

Brands don’t decide what’s cool—audiences do. When businesses try too hard to seem cool, they risk alienating their audience.

Some examples of words and phrases that you might want to swipe left on if hoping to avoid making your audience cringe in embarrassment for you:

AF: This acronym is used to help get a point across. For example, “I am hungry AF.” The ‘A’ stands for ‘as’ and the ‘F’ stands for a certain four-letter curse word. We’ll let you fill in the blanks.

I can’t even: A term that suggests you’re so overcome with emotion that you can’t form words. It’s a piece of adolescent slang that got picked up so quickly by brands that it became rapidly uncool. While a company like Taco Bell has a brand voice that allowed for the application of “I can’t even” at its peak, they have worked hard at establishing and maintaining this very specific tone.

Lit/Turnt: These mean essentially the same thing: to be intoxicated and hyped up on an event or situation. Unless they fit your brand voice, it’s probably a good idea to leave out of your social media lexicon.

Fam: If calling your audience ‘fam’ (as in, family) fits your brand voice, don’t let us hold you back. But chances are if you’re running a business, your customers might not be ready for this informal label.  

Pepe Meme: While not a word or phrase, the popular Pepe the Frog meme has unfortunately become associated with racist and bigoted themes. Don’t use it.

Meaningless jargon

As a marketer, your job is to make sure your brand’s message is clear. Unfortunately, the use of marketing jargon, buzzwords, or ambiguous terms by businesses on social media is all too common. This practice alienates audience members who don’t immediately understand what the content means.

“Jargon masks real meaning,” Jennifer Chatman, management professor at the University of California-Berkeley’s Haas School of Business tells Forbes. “People use it as a substitute for thinking hard and clearly about their goals and the direction that they want to give others.”

Some common examples of marketing jargon to avoid—in your social media content or when discussing your strategy—include:

Viral: This refers to the phenomenon where online content receives an exceptional amount of engagement across social media networks. And social marketers sometimes use the term to describe their content goals. Instead of saying that your goal is for your post to go “viral,” it’s better (and easier) to establish measurable goals. For help with this, check out our guide to setting smart social media goals.

Synergy: This typically refers to the interaction between two things that creates a better result. But in the business world “synergy” is one of those terms that gets thrown around so often that it’s lost all meaning. Mashable even crowned it “the buzzword you can never escape.”

Optimize: This just means to make something as efficient as it can be. But the word ‘optimize’ has now become a catch-all for simply creating good content. You’ll often hear that “the post has been optimized,”  when usually that simply means that the post was edited or reposted at a more highly trafficked time of day. This is another case where it’s better to just say what you mean, rather than throwing in a word that makes you feel smarter.

Millennial: Used by marketers to “describe people born between the early 1980s and the early 2000s,” the term “millennial” has become meaningless. While it may be helpful when your brand is trying to connect with a more mature audience who are trying to understand a younger generation, no millennial will self-identify as such. Being stereotyped in general is off-putting, and as described in our post all about the term, “there are countless competing views within that age bracket as to what is popular and what isn’t.” When marketers use the word “millennial” as an all-encompassing descriptor, they are missing the mark when it comes to authentically targeting their social media content.

Clickbait

Clickbait refers to sensational headlines that don’t deliver on their promise. As The Guardian’s Charlie Brooker explains, “We’re trying to fit in because exaggeration is the official language of the Internet, a talking shop so hopelessly overcrowded that only the most strident statements have any impact.”

If you want your brand’s authority and clout to remain intact, avoid using hyperboles in your social media posts.

A helpful tip for avoiding clickbait is to ask yourself whether the claim you’re making is really true. Some common terms to stay away from include:

Top/Best: Can you really back up a claim that what you’re offering really is the “best” advice? Don’t give your audience an opportunity to doubt you or question your credibility.

Worst: Same tip as above. If you’re going to say something is “the worst,” make sure it’s true.

Need: Again, ask yourself if this is the best word to use in your social media content. Does somebody “absolutely need to see this,” when “this” is a video of yourself acting out a Shakespearean scene with your ferrets? When you deem everything you post on social media a “need to see” or a “must-read,” it becomes a “boy who cried wolf” situation—and your audience will catch on quickly.

Only: While it’s tempting to declare your post is the “only guide to _____ you need,” the truth is that there are probably other posts of the same type and with similar information out there. When you use this kind of language, you again give your audience a chance to challenge your claims, which can cause you to lose credibility.

Cringe-worthy job titles

The final group of terms to consider cutting from your social media vocabulary has to do with marketing job descriptions. Some of these that I have come across include:

Social Media Ninja

Marketing Rock Star

Content Maven

Social Media Guru

Social Media Hacker

These kinds of nicknames, while seemingly innocent and fun, can actually have detrimental effects on your professional persona. When Jeff Barrett asked his Twitter community what they thought of these self-made job titles, he found that 9 out of 10 people felt that they devalue the person and cause others to take them less seriously.

“When someone works to showcase themselves as an expert, and then resorts to a self-declared tacky title, there’s something weird,”  Christa Freeland, marketing specialist for Powershift Group in Austin, Texas, explains, “A lot of the time I see the marketing and social media types using this terminology, and it doesn’t help their case.”

The immense power of language means that careful consideration of the words and phrases you’re using in your social media and content strategies is key. Stay woke, fam. 

Do social media the right way using Hootsuite. From a single dashboard you can easily schedule and publish all of your social media posts, engage with your followers, and track the success of your efforts.

Learn More

The post Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary appeared first on Hootsuite Social Media Management.

Words and Phrases to Ban from Your Social Media Vocabulary published first on http://ift.tt/2u73Z29