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#and then he was like never again <3 and became one of those celebs who only ever posts like 'happy new year <3' once a year
fightwing · 2 years
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does your muse look at their internet tags yes or no
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swamp-spirit · 1 year
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I’ve been resisting getting into Internet Fights about my Oshi no Ko opinions, but they have been building in my heart and I need to get them off my chest. It’s a long ramble, but the upshot is:
1. People are way to harsh on Akane 2. Aqua sucks, but also his feelings about Ai are way more nuanced than he gets credit for 3. Ruby also sucks, and pretending she doesn’t is a disservice to her as a character 4. Holy shit this got long
Ahoy for manga spoilers
With the first episode out, I want to start by saying this: I am putting Gorou’s comments about dating Ai to the side for this meta. Obviously it is wrong for a grown-ass man to hesitate when asked if he’d date a teen celeb. I see his comments towards Serena as just trying to offer comfort, but his comments towards Ai are an absolute NOPE. If somebody isn’t able to engage with Aqua at all after that, or engage with the show, I think that’s perfectly understandable, but I also think, to discuss any other aspect of Aqua and his relationship with Ai, I am filing that under ‘yup, that’s some creepy anime bullshit‘.
Now onto the meta.
So Akane’s pissed people off again. And what she said is pretty fucked up. Like “I know your dead Mom better than you because I studied her“???
The thing is, she isn’t wrong. Like she shouldn’t have said it. Akane is good at reading people, but bad at communicating normally. But like.... she isn’t wrong.
Ruby has a very specific image of her mother. I’ve seen a lot of people comparing her to Aqua and how much more pure her love is. She called Ai “Mama“ and Aqua only ever used her name! He never got beyond seeing her as a sexy object.
This doesn’t ring true for me at all.
Ai was emotionally stunted and starved for love. Like a lot of teens in that position, she went looking for it in bad places. She became the idol of people who saw her as an object. She had children in hopes they’d give her a family.
This is actually a really common thing for teen moms, and the stories don’t usually turn out like Ai’s. Toddlers are dependent on their parents, but they don’t have empathy. They’re temperamental and selfish, they’ll kick and bite and yell that they hate you and you’re a bad mom. And that’s normal and natural! That’s part of being a kid! Aqua wanted Ai to have normal kids, but I think it’s somewhat lucky she got two kids who adored her so entirely.
To Ruby, Ai was perfect. Serena didn’t have present parents. She was a lonely dying kid, and Ai was everything she didn’t have. Ai was loved. She traveled, she could move her body like she wanted, she was beautiful and bright.
Even though Ruby wasn’t a ‘real’ child, I think Ai was entirely her mother. Serena attached to Gorou because he was there when her parents weren’t. Ai was Serena’s first chance to have a parent, and Ai seems to be this perfect being to her. Only now, as she reaches the age Ai was and experiences the intense emotions of coming into adulthood, she’s starting to wonder if maybe Ai was unhappy too. She never once considers that Ai would want the world to know about her kids. To her, Ai was the perfect idol, and anything that threatens that is disrespectful to Ai.
But that wasn’t what Ai wanted. We know now she felt stifled by her image and wanted to share her true self. I was particularly hit by the short story where one of Ai’s Idol co-starts deletes a vulnerable message from Ai, wishing for friendship. She can’t stand seeing Ai as a vulnerable, full person and wants to protect Ai’s image as the perfect idol.
I don’t mean to say Ruby’s love of Ai is any less, but she very much feels like a child who isn’t fully ready to see her mother as a person. I think there’s some happiness for her in being an idol, but I think it’s tragic. I see people wishing it could just be a sweet manga about a daughter chasing her dream to feel connected to her mother, but... I think some of those people miss the point of what being an idol means in this story. Ai became an idol to learn to love and be loved, and found herself isolated and fake. Ruby chases a sick girl’s dream and the connection idoldom gives her to the two adults that first showed her love, but we’re seeing that she’s putting that over the relationships she has now. She’s chasing the same dream of perfect love and sabotaging her relationship with everyone in her life to get it.
Now for Aqua’s feelings.
I think it matters a lot to learn about Gorou’s family situation. His life story is one of feeling he failed to protect women. And it’s made him real weird.
His mom died having him and like... lots of kids feel guilty for that, but he spent his whole childhood being blamed for it. Serena is the only genuine connection we saw him making and, by the way her carried that badge, I don’t think it’s just that his other connections weren’t on screen. He saw somebody else who wasn’t loved and did his best to be there for her. And watched her die again.
The crush on Ai is HELLA CREEPY, but, at the end of the day, he didn’t hit on her or put his feelings first. He focused on her health, and, when he was reincarnated, his thought was “good, now I can protect her“. He didn’t see her as a mother, but, unlike Ruby, he saw her as vulnerable. He wanted to protect his ‘fake‘ mother in a way he hadn’t been able to protect his real one, in the way he hadn’t been able to protect Serena, and he failed in the most brutal way. We see in his panic attack that he still feels like the responsible adult that should have been able to protect her, that Ai was a young woman under his care, AND that part of him feels like the scared five year old who was so small and tiny when a grown-ass man stabbed his mother in front of him.
It’s also defined the rift between the twins. Ruby sees herself as a victim, trapped on the other side of the glass as somebody took away her beloved mother, and who is still being shut out. Aqua sees himself as complicit, somebody who’d promised to protect Ai, that watched her get stabbed and bleed out. Ruby wants to protect her mother’s secrets and the perfect image Ai gave everything to, Aqua wants the world to know the human woman behind the image.
And it’s made Aqua weird around women. He doesn’t want Ruby or Akane or Kana to be another woman he fails to protect. He shuts them out, lies, and denies them agency to protect himself from losing them again. I think it’s also telling that, even though revenge was his reason for living as a child, when he thought he didn’t need to get revenge anymore, he wasn’t lost and without purpose, he was happy. (And declared he would now dedicate his life to protecting Akane, a chance to succeed where he’s always failed) He isn’t clinging to his revenge, he’s caught in the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and failure.
Akane is good at reading people. Kana and Ruby are both very much teens. Aqua’s actions are inexplicable and infuriating. Akane knows what’s up. She doesn’t know how to deal with it, but she knows what’s up. Aqua isn’t a baffling enigma, he’s a fucked up dude on a downward spiral.
She’s not trying to stop him from killing his dad because Murdering a Serial Killer is Bad. She’s straight up offered to help kill him. But she and the director are the only people who have picked up exactly how much Aqua hates himself, and that he very well might plan to die to do this. Aqua doesn’t think he deserves to be happy! He doesn’t value his own life! Shit is dire!
Aqua saved her, and is probably one of the few people she can truly talk to. Akane is a socially awkward weirdo who’s too smart for her age, and Aqua appreciates it and plays on her level. She’s emotionally clumsy and accidentally cruel, but I think she’s right that Ruby isn’t seeing her mother as a full person yet (which is normal for a teen! especially a deeply traumatized teen) and she’s right that, if left unchecked, Aqua will destroy himself because he feels like he deserves it.
Like, I totally get thinking Kana and Aqua are more romantically compatible, but right now, Aqua desperately needs somebody who can call him on his bullshit. I’m so sick of people hating on Akane for not being blindly supportive on what is pretty clearly a complicated suicide attempt.
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oldfangirl81 · 4 months
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Pride Prompt Day 3 : Early signs
Not fiction today. Just my memories as a fortysomething queer woman of early signs I wasn't straight.
Looking back to preschool I remember a crush on a boy. I named my first guinea pig after him. But I also remember really liking this teen volunteer from the temple (I went to a preschool that was connected to a synagogue). I remember seeking her out to push me on the swings.
I loved the baby-sitters club books. Stacey McGill was my favorite. She had type 1 diabetes so while not mine disease it was still something that made her different like me. But in my brain she was the coolest, prettiest, most sophisticated girl. I wanted to be like her. But it was also one of my first fictional crushes.
I adored Disney's Robin Hood (still do). I thought both Robin and Marian were the best. He was handsome. She was beautiful.
I remember thinking one of the woman student doctors was the prettiest. There was a teenager on the peds floor who I was convinced was the real life Stacey McGill, even if diabetes wasn't her issue.
I was teased about being boy crazy with celeb crushes. Tom Cruise and Patrick Swayze were the big ones in the late 80s/very early 90s for me. I watched Top Gun so many times.
I had to look up the dates on these two because time is weird.
My parents didn't really censor what movies I could watch. I was allowed to see Lethal Weapon 3 (1992) when it came out. Rene Russo was everything in that movie to me. And I've mentioned before that comparing scars to sex is embedded in my brain as peak sexy. And Riggs/Cole was ship before I knew what a ship was. The scene where he watches her kickass while reassuring Murtaugh that she didn't need help with an almost swoony sigh also embedded in my brain.
1993 brought the infamous episode of Batman The Animated Series "Harley and Ivy". I still didn't know what shipping was but I immediately shipped those too. I was upset that Harley didn't stay with Poison Ivy. And yes decades later I cried when they went canon.
I also had an equal crush on Cristian Slater and Samantha Mathis. But I knew it was socially acceptable for me to only talk about the crush on one of them. Meanwhile I'd rent The Thing Called Love (1993) over and over again. Same when Broken Arrow came out.
It wasn't until years later that I'd figure out what I called a crush was typically very different from what my friends meant.
Hackers was another movie where I had a different reaction than most of my friends. I really was confused if I wanted to be Angelina in that movie or date her.
After I came out to my folks Mom said she had suspicion because of my obsession with Angelina and Eliza Dushku. For someone who isn't a fan of cheerleading I rented Bring It On (2000) a lot.
In high school when I started to get hints that maybe I was slightly different than my peers my labels became "strong ally" "open minded" "never say never" and "heteroflexible".
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peppermintbuttlemon · 8 months
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i gotta add to the discourse bc you keep taking the literal thoughts from my brain and i love it (same soho anon from yesterday getting my unmoderated goss fix in since ive gone off the grid online - so this is long)
i literally only like him bc i think he’s cute imma be so real w you. (he is mid i know my friends dog on my terrible taste all the time and he fits my tragic pattern) i saw him in game of thrones in 2019 and was like hello and wanted to slide into his dms but was not possible bc no ig (that we knew of lol) and it became a whole joke with my friends that my celeb crush was some rando who was in game of thrones for 3 mins and then when he was in ST it just became a whole bit. when he did a con by me it was a literal 2 minute walk from my house so my friend and i went just for the plot and he was actually nice when i took my photo. idk it also might have just been early so he maybe had pep in his step but i was going to leave and he stopped me mid walk and said “thanks for coming” (obvi the standard to be polite) and i literally just said “ok” bc i was hungover and that dystopian ass JC Penny portraits curtain cubicle was disorienting me LMAO. i will never ever go to one of those things ever again. then like an hour later saw his big head active on raya.
re: weirdo fans
i have literally talked about this on other goss blogs bc it rubbed me SO WEIRD and everyone dogged on me for saying it/it was mentioned/denied in some twt thread but one of the weird fans mentioned before was hanging out with a girl that literally jogged after someone on his team and was like “what i don’t get a hug???” like you’re so bizarre but okay. they can deny it all they want but i literally watched it sitting on that musty ass convention center floor. y’all ain’t gonna gaslight me w that!!! i literally could give you a police sketch description of them if i had to💀
i feel bad for ppl that had bad experiences when they pay for it (and i know he made BANDS on those cons. like a ridiculous amount) bc clearly it means more to them than it did for me but in regards to like in public or on the street meeting him and being upset - yall gotta realize that ppl don’t you shit just bc of what they do for a living. i’d be too embarrassed to go up to someone and be like “yeo love your work” while they’re just trying to get from point a to point b or eat dinner
re the reminder that he’s just a south london dude:
there is a type!!!! they all act the same as someone who’s dated 3 of them (i have no self control and clearly do not learn from my own horror stories) they have the same attitude, ego, mindset, etc. and i have come to the conclusion that if i actually knew him irl id probably hate him or try to argue with him for fun because of it. i live to humble men and at the end of the day he is just a man!!!! a man who is basically a glorified theatre kid when you think about it
re: https://www.tumblr.com/peppermintbuttlemon/741588680956952576/httpswwwtumblrcompeppermintbuttlemon74157782
can say i do not recall what he smells like but my friend always says he looks damp so we do call him a name about it (i don’t wanna add just in case someone on twitter recognizes that it’s me lmao)
DAMP 💀💀💀😂😂 oh my god I love it!!
So what’s the south London guy thing? What are the symptoms of this disease? 😂
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changebydjo · 4 years
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IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ
 so i’ve put off writing this for a long, long time, and it’ll be painful for me to make this post but at this point i feel like it needs to be done. someone within the liz fandom has been lying, gaslighting and manipulating me as well as many others, both online and offline, and after getting proof on everything (plus their lack of remorse) has prompted me to write this.
this is about gil perez, aka @unrated-g, and one of his irl friends, kim @kimbus-the-whimbus, to a lesser extent, but mostly gil. since 2016 - nearly 5 years now - he’s been lying that he’s best friends with liz gillies. i’m gonna put a read more because it’s a long, insane, and ridiculous thing that happened, but please read all of it and know how serious this is, as well as all the damage this man has done.
i met gil through tumblr in 2018 - he had been replying my posts since before that, but early 2018 is when i followed him and started chatting with him casually. over time, i noticed that he would reblog posts about liz and in the tags he would seem to be talking to her or referencing her, but not by her name - instead he would call her “goblin”. he would mention things that “goblin” liked or behind the scenes on dynasty stuff, and after a few weeks of noticing this and chatting with him about dynasty/liz, i ended up asking him if he was friends with liz/knew her personally because of the way he spoke about her. he confirmed to me that he knew her, she was one of his best friends, and he “didn’t expect” anyone to pick up on it. he told me to keep it private and i agreed, obviously, because i had no reason to not trust him, and i know that liz values her privacy.
it’s important to note that liz does NOT follow him or any of his accounts from her verified twitter or instagram accounts - instead, he said she had an “extremely private” encrypted tumblr account that could only be seen by people she follows/white listed. he was one of them. her blog would not show up for anyone else, and they met through tumblr in 2016 (even though he said she followed him back in 2010 and he didn’t realize until 6 years later) through their mutual love for uncharted, and bonded over playing uncharted 4 multiplayer together. it’s also important to note that liz has had 2 tumblr accounts since 2010, both of which she has abandoned, and he said that her private tumblr is separate from those two. she also was friends with him (according to him) through PSN, where they would play ps4 games together, and all of his text convos with her are from that app:
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(^ “liz’s” PSN account)
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throughout all of 2018, we would text on a regular basis and started becoming good friends. he was extremely kind, always willing to be there for me, and listened to me about not only fandom stuff but also my irl problems. he also became friends with my friend group, who were also in the liz fandom, and it was really nice for a while. in october of 2018, gil said he went to HHN with liz and matt in LA, and for xmas of 2018, he said he spent it with liz - both in LA and in NJ, which is what she typically does to spend her holidays with her family and friends. her pale blue eyes cover was also for him, according to gil, because he asked for her to cover it specifically and she did just for him.
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gil would also occasionally stream for friends, and sometimes liz would show up:
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beginning of 2019 is when gil and i started getting much closer - we started playing games together (mostly mario kart, at the beginning) and talking through voice chat. he would talk about liz and personal things about her/her life or dynasty, and he always willingly supplied that information himself - i never asked for it, i wasn’t friends with him to get information on liz or have an “in” with her. chatting with him made me feel good and happy and important to him, and i realized i started having feelings for him - which i told him about in april 2019. he said he wasn’t sure exactly how he felt but he thought he might feel the same, the only really complicated part (besides the fact that this was long distance/not irl) was that he also had a really deep crush on liz, someone who was his best friend/ultimate celeb crush. he was really like in love with her, even though he said he tried to suppress it. anyways, after me admitting that to him, our friendship started to develop into something more. we weren’t ever in an official relationship, but things were definitely not strictly platonic with us. we went from chatting once every week or two to almost every single night for 3-6 hours per night for MONTHS. throughout that time, our relationship became sexual, too, and my feelings for him just continued to get deeper and deeper.
this continues throughout the rest of 2019, and then new years 2020, everything just...goes to shit asap. gil got really distant with me with no explanation, i felt like all the affection he was showing me and the kind things he would say to me, as well as our bonding time when we would chat together, was just ripped away unexpectedly. i constantly asked what was wrong and what was happening, and told him how i feel, and i got no real response besides just being tired/non-sociable, etc. (which, for the record, is completely understandable, but it was such a huge 180 in behavior that it worried me and things never went back to normal after that). in addition to that, kim (who was mentioned at the beginning of this post) is one of his best friends irl, as well as his on again/off again ex (according to him). anyways, there were posts that she had made that indicated to them not being exes and instead still together - or at the very least not platonic - which crushed me when i found out, because until that point i had no reason not to trust him. i told him about it though, and how it hurt me because my feelings were so deep for him at that point i felt that i loved him, and he told me they weren’t together. this isn’t really necessary for the liz stuff of this post, but it’s important for context for how hurt and on edge i was already feeling before things got worse.
we would still chat maybe a few times a week, but nothing like it used to be, and i was happy we would even chat at all, even though things felt so weird and different and off, and no matter what i did, i couldn’t fix it. as 2020 started going on, and this continued, his friendship with liz started making me feel extremely uncomfortable. knowing that he had the weird boundaries with his ex, plus whatever was going on with me and him, AND that he was in love with liz?? it was unsettling. i felt like i couldn’t compare, because it’s *liz gillies*, someone i obviously love and idolize and look up to. and she was up on a pedestal for him, even though he said that he never tried to treat liz differently than his other close friends just bc of who she was, but that wasn’t true. anything that she said or did, he agreed with 100%, and would defend it. when he and i would chat, and i would mention something about dynasty that bothered me, he would talk about what liz’s thoughts were on it and how she felt and that she was right to feel that way and it made me feel awful. this happened on multiple occasions throughout various topics, from dynasty to fandom stuff to liz’s friendships/relationships, etc. no matter what, to gil, liz was always right and he always had an explanation for anything that happened. the way he would describe liz and the thing he said about her made me see her in a completely different light - she was not the same liz that she presented herself as, at least in gil’s eyes. 
he would always talk about how amazing liz was to him and how she did so much for him, such as buying him gifts, supporting his art, etc. this was hurtful to hear because i was doing the exact same things for him, as well as our group of friends: we had been buying his art (not only the art prints but the ACTUAL original copies), sending him gifts or money for gifts, supporting him and his art on social media, as well as just being a genuine friend to him. he never appreciated or thanked us the way that he thanked liz; none of us ever compared to her, even though we were doing the exact same thing for him that he said liz was doing, as well. it made me feel like no matter what i did, or how supportive i was, i was never enough.
we also had a discord with gil, that involved him, me, and my friends sarah, hope, amanda, and dom. within this discord, it’s worth noting that gil was the only man there, and would talk about liz and his friendship with her there, unprompted. we never asked for info, he volunteered everything willingly, and we all kind of glossed over it at the time because we weren’t friends with him for liz or any of that.
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(the screenshot gil linked in the gc is what “liz’s” private encrypted blog looks like on his dash. please note the edit post button in the bottom right of the screenshot.)
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another important thing about his friendship with liz/being in love with her: he has this specific kink (which i don’t want to say what it is for privacy reasons) and he said that liz was engaging in this kink herself, and that he was jealous of liz’s bf/wishes he could engage in it with liz, etc. i wasn’t into this kink before talking to him but because i had liked him so much at the time, and i was slightly jealous that he wanted it with liz, i thought that i could indulge in it for him. it was something that i was not physically or mentally prepared for/able to make happen, and it really caused an impact on me, and he just...didn’t care. at all.
anyways: this stuff continues, then around summer 2020, my friend sarah reached out to him. she (and my friends, along with me) were starting to distrust the things gil was saying about liz, since it went completely against what liz would say herself. she would say she only plays the sims 3 on her computer - he would say she was a huge gamer and played the sims 4 on ps4, along with minecraft, uncharted, the last of us, horizon zero dawn, etc. he would say that liz and maddison brown (her dynasty co-star) played ACNH with him and quickly got to 5 stars - liz said in a zach sang interview that she didn’t play animal crossing. every time something didn’t add up, his excuse was that liz was lying for her privacy. she didn’t follow gil on any verified social media accounts in case “people harassed him” over being friends with her. so sarah texted him that she needed to talk to him about the liz stuff, because there was evidence it wasn’t true, and he denied all of it. he firmly stuck to his story, and sarah gave him multiple chances over several days to come clean and he wouldn’t. she asked for simple pieces of proof that he could give her, and he wouldn’t besides fake screenshots of her “private blog”:
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 he told me afterwards that if it comes between his friendship with liz or sarah’s, he’s picking liz - end of story. his and sarah’s friendship was done after that because of his decision. he blamed sarah for “ruining” liz and maddison’s friendship because of her asking for proof, and made her out to be the bad one in that situation. he ended up deleting the discord gc after this happened, with all of his screenshots/”info” as liz as well (we got screenshots of things before he deleted it though, much more that’s shown in this post).
about a month later, my friend léa also confronted him about it. gil had told her some things about liz’s “reaction” to meeting léa in paris, and at the time, it had made the experience more special for her. once she realized it was all lies, though, it really hurt her - he altered that special experience for her and twisted it into something that wasn’t real. he had the same reaction to léa’s conversation as he did to sarah’s, and he refused to tell the truth. their friendship was done with after, as well, along with a few other people from the liz fandom. i was the only one who stayed friends with him after that, and that was because i was closest with him and still trying to see if i could fix things with him. i was still naively believing that he would treat me okay again, he would make me feel important instead of always a backup option, that he wanted me again. 
but of course that never happened. he continued to ignore me, talk to me less and less, and would subtweet me on his private account. after he stopped being friends with sarah and léa and everyone blocked him except for me, i was the only follower on his private account, as well as being the only person he followed there. gil, though, kept saying that liz had a “private twitter” where she would talk to him on his private account. he also said that he had “merged twitter accounts” into one, which was his private, which messed up his account and wouldn’t show who he was replying to, quote rts, or that he was following them, which - if you have a twitter, you KNOW none of that can actually happen. but it was his excuse to constantly subtweet me and my friends for not believing him, to maintain his story, AND to have convos with “liz” on there that only i could see, where he made it sound like he was talking shit about me to her. it was extremely manipulative and served no purpose except to fuck with me, because he knew that i was the only one seeing those tweets and knew i was already struggling with not knowing what to believe. here’s some of them:
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(you can very clearly see that i’m the only follower/following on that account, the number is at literally 1, and he STILL was acting like he was talking to someone else and that other people were following him.)
now comes jan. 2021!! WE GOT DEFINITE PROOF THAT IT WAS ALL LIES. from multiple people. one of liz’s close best friends (that gil included in his stories about her, saying that he met them) said that they don’t know who gil is, have never met him, and it’s best for us all to block him for our own safety. a co-worker of liz’s (who was, again, included in gil’s lies, that he hung out with them multiple times, played games with them online, and bought him gifts) said that not only had they never met gil, but EVERYTHING he said about them was untrue. they even listed the inaccuracies he would say about them, such as gil taking photos of them at things like the SWT, and they confirmed who actually took the photo. they said that “none of it is fucking true” and that gil is a narcissistic liar, and also encouraged us to block him for our own safety. 
i confronted gil myself about this a few weeks ago, and he continued to maintain his story that everyone’s lying to protect his privacy - even though we know for sure that wasn’t the case. he FINALLY owned up to it to me only once he saw i had proof and he was caught, and his reason for doing it was “he was bored”. he said he was sorry but he wasn’t truly apologetic - he either didn’t fully realize the scope of how hurtful his lies and manipulations were, or he just didn’t care, but the bottom line is that he always chose his fantasy of liz over his actual friends. around this time, once he knew he was caught, he also deactivated his private account, but brought it back a week or so later, with all of the subtweets and tweets about liz being deleted. all of the unverified accounts that were supposed to be liz - the tumblr account, psn, twitch, etc. - were all fake and made by him, so he could make it seem more real.
even if he WAS telling the truth about being friends with liz, he still would have completely violated her privacy by the amount of “secret” things he told all of us - from her kinks/sex life, to work life, to very personal things that he claims happened to her. knowing it’s all fake though, and he made up an entire personality and life for liz that doesn’t exist??? it’s insane.
now the part with kim - she’s known gil irl for over 10 years, and has tweeted about liz all the time, about how “good” liz is to her because of gil, and that she’s the one who encouraged him to talk to her. she brags about it constantly, even though none of it is real. she also tweeted multiple times throughout 2018-2019 about how gil “finally deserves to meet liz in person”, even though gil said he met liz irl back in 2017 or so - AND that she came to texas, where he lives, to meet him and his friends. when asked about her tweets, he said that kim’s account was “messed up” and her tweets weren’t “tweeted at the right time”. one of my friends reached out to tell her and show her the proof of gil lying, because gil has been lying to her and other people irl too, and instead she mocked us, belittled us, and chose not to believe a group of women coming to her about a 30 year old (!!) man manipulating us. gil said that kim was “aware of it all being a lie for years now” to me, but i think that was another lie, that he’s STILL lying to her about it. if not, then that means that kim was also lying for many years about knowing liz too, and used it to make us all the butt of her joke, so. so much for her being an “empath” and wanting to help people but anyways!!
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the last screenshot is of her subtweeting us and implying that everyone involved with liz is lying for her and gil’s privacy, even though we have proof that that simply isn’t true.
i’m sorry for how long this is, but i need people to understand how serious this is. he’s been lying for 5 YEARS now about knowing liz - about her “accidentally sending nudes” to him, that gil is one of her best friends and he would’ve been at her wedding, that she’s a huge gamer who plays with him - all of it. it’s all lies. he created a fantasy version of liz that doesn’t exist, and incorporated into his real life, his friendships both online and off, and made it his entire personality. he’s not sorry about what he’s done - as i’m writing this, he’s still on tumblr, talking in the tags to “liz” again, because he’d rather uphold his fantasy life where he’s best friends with liz when in reality, she has no idea he even exists. and if she did, i’m certain that she would be disgusted with what he’s done. he lied about her, oversexualized her, used his kinks on her which was brought onto me - someone he knew that was vulnerable and had feelings for him, manipulated people into trying to believe his lies, gaslit people to make them unable to tell what was true and what was fake, and had absolutely zero respect for any of us. he even listened to me cry to him on the phone MULTIPLE times about how insecure and worthless i felt to him compared to liz, and he didn’t do ANYTHING about it. he sat there and listened to me cry, knowing he could own up to his lie, and he chose not to. he’s not sorry about what he’s done, and he’s going to continue to spread his lies. please block him. i can’t express how much he’s hurt me, the therapy that i need to have because of him, how much he’s hurt my friends and how little he respects women in general tbh. he always tried to come off as “one of the good guys” but now i know he’s harmful and not to be trusted. he even tried to separate me from my friends, and make it seem like they’re the ones making this situation even harder for him. i’ve tried so, so many times to get through to him, waiting to see if he’d change or show some remorse or anything, but after over a year of this i don’t think he will, and it genuinely hurts me to know that. BLOCK HIM.
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chikkou · 4 years
Text
masterpost on the ryan haywood (and adam kovic) situation
so i already made this post as a more general “whats wrong with rooster teeth” post, as i honestly didnt expect the ryan haywood/adam kovic situation to go as far as it has - but at this point i think it’s much more prudent to put that information into its own post because the situation with both of these men, ryan primarily, has gone off the fucking rails 
tl;dr for the situation: ryan haywood and adam kovic both had nudes leak and were outed as cheating on their wives as a result of being catfished, but a great deal more information surfaced after the initial leak which led to the discovery that ryan haywood is a manipulative sexual predator, and adam kovic may have been sending sexual pictures and videos of his wife without her consent. 
i will try to break down this post chronologically as best i can and provide ample sources, and i will update it as new information is gathered. please be aware that many of these sources will be coming from kiwifarms, as it has gathered all of the relevant info into one place, but i will not be linking to the thread directly for a myriad of reasons, so if you want to find it, youll have to look for yourself. apologies if any of the screenshots contain disagreeable language; i wouldnt link them if they werent relevant.
general tw for pretty much everything in this post. all pictures of people will be largely sfw, but there will be nsfw text under the cut. i will not link to any nudes of ryan or adam. this is going to be long as fuck.
here goes.
NOTE: this post is currently up-to-date as of january 28th, 7:27 pm (EST). 
GENERAL BACKGROUND:
adam kovic and ryan haywood are both employees at the entertainment company rooster teeth. ryan has been working there since 2011, originally for more behind-the-scenes work before becoming a regular achievement hunter staple, while adam kovic was a personality who originally worked for machinima before he and a few others branched off to become funhaus. funhaus was later purchased by the media corporation fullscreen, as was rooster teeth, and both were merged sometime in 2014/2015. 
HOW THIS ALL BEGAN:
sometime in august, there were rumors circulating on certain forum sites that a catfisher had been sexting with a handful of e-celebs, and had their nudes. a torrent link was put up containing the files, but was quickly taken down. this didnt gain much traction, but was brought up again on the same forum in late september/early october. this time, the person posted images directly, showing that they’d been sexting with adam kovic and ryan haywood.
according to them, they didnt get very far with ryan and so there were only a small handful of his pictures and videos, but there were over 400 of adam’s nudes, also pictures and videos, and some of which featured his wife. after this news broke, a thread was made on kiwifarms to document everything (the thread was created on october 4th). another thread was made on /pol/ shortly before this, claiming that ryan was grooming underaged fans, and that both ryan and adam had sexted with fans (both of age and underage). no sources or corroboration for this claim were given at the time.
WEEK 1, DAY 1 (october 4th):
initially, most of the focus was on adam, due to the sheer number of his nudes and the content within them. while people were suspicious of the veracity of ryan’s nudes, it became clear that the photos of adam were legitimate, as his face was shown in several of them, there was no evidence of photoshopping, and he has a distinct tattoo which made it pretty hard to dispute. heres a more sfw picture as an example.
the catfish had all of these images on hand, and due to the “sent to you” header on top we know that they were sent directly to the catfish, and not taken from adam’s phone, meaning he willingly sent these images to the catfish. note that his wife was indeed almost naked in the background (wearing only underwear), and there are multiple pictures and videos of her completely naked and sometimes even engaging in sex with adam. after a bit of analysis, people came to the conclusion that the pictures of ryan were real, as well.
ADAM’S WIFE, JESS KOVIC:
no response came from him at first, nor his wife - the only indication she gave that she knew what had happened was this cryptic comment on her instagram account, which she has since privated. no one is quite clear what this reaction means, nor has she confirmed or denied whether she consented to the pictures and videos being taken and sent to others.
soon after, people who’d (puzzlingly) decided to sift through the nudes discovered something jarring - some of the nudes he’d sent appeared to have been taken IN the rooster teeth office. heres a sfw example, but there were at least a dozen others taken in the same location.
RYAN:
ryan’s nudes were largely ignored in the beginning - there were a great deal more of adam’s, and while ryan’s were pretty standard nudes, adam’s were much more plentiful and had a lot more variety in the... activities depicted, shall we say. people were also fixated on the status of his wife’s consent in the matter, and so little attention was given to ryan, who was simply deemed a cheater and left at that.
ROOSTER TEETH & THE FANBASE:
unsurprisingly, rt attempted to immediately suppress any and all mention of the scandal when it first broke. heres an image of a handful of threads that were made on r/roosterteeth that day; as you can see, the ones highlighted in red have been deleted, and all were about the leaks. comments on the official rt site were instantly deleted as well. no official comment from the company or any of the employees, though a former funhaus employee (rahul kohli) commented mocking adam for the situation, and implied that things were worse than we yet realized.
WEEK 1, DAY 2 (october 5th):
although adam had been the primary focus of the first day of the news breaking, it began to look like there was little else to discuss with him. at worst, he seemed to be a cheater, and potentially sent nudes of his wife without her permission. still disgusting, but as there was no comment from him and no new updates on his situation, attentions turned, and a slow rumble began bubbling up with more accusations about ryan.
ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS:
an anonymous twitter account, @brotherxteresa (whose account has since been suspended), claims to have been speaking to girls who’d been sexual with ryan. they state that everyone they’ve spoken to was of age - significantly younger than ryan, true, but still legally able to consent. however, they confirm that ryan has indeed been getting around with fans, both via sexting and in-person. he also strongly implies that the mods knew, and asks them to comment, but their responses are predictably vague. notably, though, is this tweet from @grandaddyskulls, in which they condemn “proven disgusting behavior,” heavily implying that the mods did indeed deal with “unproven” accusations against ryan in the past. unfortunately, there are no sources for this at this time.
on the same day, tumblr user @juggey creates this post, containing screenshots of a conversation they had with one of ryan’s victims. within those screenshots is this particularly interesting one, in which ryan receives a nude from the fan in question, only to ask, in an almost joking tone, if they “turned him into a felon” by sending a nude. they confirm that they are an adult, but it becomes clear that ryan did not know the age of the fan before getting sexual with them, and seems to have a very flippant and casual approach to this.
later on, this tweet is posted by @jasminewill123, confirming that ryan has indeed been messing with fans for years. no sources are posted, though, just a verbal confirmation. @brotherxteresa also reveals that he is speaking to someone who was solicited by ryan for sex when they were a minor in this tweet thread, but doesnt share any info, stating that the minor is saving it for a potential court case. there is also this tweet from someone stating that they slept with him in 2017, and that he claimed to have never had sex with a fan before and removed the condom mid-sex. once again, no corroboration for this just yet.
RT’S RESPONSE:
still mainly radio silence from the company, except for this tweet cancelling the days stream. replies on this post are locked almost instantly. rt also begins a quiet sweeping of all ryan and adam-centric content and videos, including a video of ryan reading “thirsty tweets” from fans, and straight up cut ryan out of certain videos (like a recent AHWU). some of these videos were archived, but we dont have a complete list of what was removed.
on the slightly less official side, r/roosterteeth issues a statement basically saying that any post attempting to discuss the leaks will be deleted immediately, and the people who post them will be reported (and likely banned).
WEEK 1, DAY 3 (october 6th):
we get our first confirmation of ryan having sexted a fan from @jasminewill123, in the form of this previously-unseen picture of ryan (it’s sfw but is clearly a cropped nude). rahul kohli again makes snide comments about adam and funhaus in general, but does not share any details of what he means. rumors spread that one of the former funhaus members, lawrence sonntag, has sent an email to his subscribers regarding adam kovic, but no evidence of that comes up yet. jess kovic posts this tweet plugging her online store, but still declines to comment on the situation. things are pretty quiet for a while, until finally, the first shoe drops.
TESSA GRAVES
at 4:13 pm, a woman named tessa graves posts this youtube video and links to it on her twitter account (with associated screenshots in the same thread). she discusses at length how she met ryan and when their relationship became sexual. 
as a brief summary of her video: they met at a con in 2017, when she had just turned 17, and started talking on snapchat. the relationship was platonic for a while until tessa accidentally sent him a picture meant for a friend in which her bra strap was visible. ryan began to flirt with her after this, and soon their relationship became sexual, with nudes being exchanged and dirty texts being sent. she states in the video that ryan did not know her age, nor did he ask for it. the two of them sexted and sent nudes on and off for two years, and planned to hook up in person, but it never came to fruition.
shortly after uploading the video, she posts this screen-recording of her snap messages with ryan, scrolling back through months and months of messages between them, all the way back to late 2017. the snapchat account is confirmed to be his, and the screen-recording proves to be incredibly compelling evidence. this is the first girl to come out and say that ryan was sexual with her when she was underage, and that she did send him nudes as a minor. on her twitter account, someone noticed that ryan was online in the video and inquired about it - tessa confirms that ryan messaged her when he saw her recording their chat, but declined to share what his message said.
RYAN’S TWEET
around an hour after tessa’s video was posted, ryan posts this tweet, announcing his departure from rt. he states that he “made mistakes,” acknowledging that the pictures and screenshots were real, but specifically insists that he “did nothing illegal,” a clear comment on tessa’s accusation. 
(he also asks people to stop harassing his family, but im unsure if the claim is true, as i personally have only seen people empathizing with his wife and children and no negative comments about them at all. he may be referring to people messaging his wife for comment on the situation, or he may just be straight up lying. given all hes done, the latter seems quite likely.)
people quickly begin speculating whether or not ryan was fired or quit of his own volition. personally, i believe the company offered him the option to either resign right then and there, or let them fire him publicly, and he chose the former. this is all speculation, though.
WEEK 1, DAY 4 (october 7th):
lawrence sonntag’s email to his subscribers finally gets leaked; it basically just says that hes grossed out and pissed off by what happened, and ends with the cryptic comment that “adam never washed his hands.” (he later stated that he meant this literally. EW!)
later the same day, adam privates his twitter account, and removes all references to rooster teeth and funhaus in his bio. shortly after, he unfollows everyone he was following and changes his icon and header to a black image. (basic public breakdown stuff, i suppose?) 
NEW LEAK TIMELINE:
it’s discovered that an anonymous twitter user, @d74840281, had messaged ryan and adam weeks before regarding these leaks on september 18th. they also accuse ryan, adam, and several other youtube personalities - alec paul, kootra, nenreaper, and dormstreams - of “grooming the same minor.” (i dont know any of those people, but it seems relevant so i added it.)
it’s also revealed that the r/funhaus subreddit was aware of the leaks 2 weeks beforehand, meaning that the info was successfully suppressed until october 4th, and that it was likely well-known by all funhaus members and probably general rt staff, as well.
RT’S RESPONSE:
the official rt account on roosterteeth.com posts this update to their programming schedule, cancelling several rttv programs, putting both achievement hunter and funhaus on a week long break, and delaying the premiere of two new shows (”rvb zero” and “grudge night”)
not long after, they post these tweets stating that they have “parted ways” with both adam and ryan, confirming that both men are no longer rt employees. they are deliberately vague about whether the men were fired or quit, but given the responses from both, i think ryan likely chose to resign instead of be fired, and adam was probably just fired outright. 
RYAN’S MODS:
you may recall that, on the second day, the question of whether the mods knew about ryan’s doings was posed. their answers were, of course, extremely vague, but one of them in particular strongly implied that the mods had dealt with some kind of accusation against ryan in the past and either ignored or actively suppressed it. well, sure enough, two of the mods (@grandaddyskulls and @ohdeerbambi/) post tweets admitting that they knew the entire time. 
specifically, they state that someone came forward with accusations of ryan behaving inappropriately two years ago (2018), coupled with screenshots. the mods confronted ryan about this, and when ryan (predictably) lied about it, they decided to drop it instead of pursuing it further. 
ADAM’S TWEET:
at 10:49 pm, adam finally speaks up with a post on twitter, formally stating that he is leaving funhaus. he apologizes to his coworkers and fans, but primarily apologizes to his wife, stating that he has “upturned her life.” he describes the events thus far as an “unbelievable breach of privacy and peeling back of [his] life,” and says that he is stepping away in order to focus on repairing his relationship with his wife and working on himself. 
while we still have no confirmation on whether his wife consented to having those pictures and videos taken, we know with a good amount of certainty now that she did not consent to having them sent to others. this would likely qualify as revenge (or otherwise non-consensual) porn in the state of california, so if she pressed charges, adam would likely see jail time.
CAST MEMBERS REACT:
the first direct response from cast members come from michael, jeremy, and lindsay, stating their feelings of anger and betrayal, and strongly implying that none of them were aware of the goings-on. (while they definitely HAVE to say this cookie-cutter stuff for the sake of their image, i will say that theres really not much else a person can say in a situation like this while still being professional. i do tentatively believe all three of them, with the most doubt on michael.)  
at this time, lawrence sonntag unfollows ryan, as do gus and lindsay. interestingly, the first person ryan unfollows himself is lindsay - this could potentially mean that lindsay actually blocked him, which forces the other person to unfollow.
WEEK 1, DAY 5 (october 8th):
at this point, discussion of adam kovic all but tapers off. he has gone full radio silent, and no one has come out with any more stories about him, so it seems very likely that his wrongdoings begin and end with the initial sexting and sending nudes of his wife. the conversation begins to turn to focus on ryan in earnest.
RYAN’S WIFE:
a reddit post (that is sadly deleted now) is uncovered from 3 months ago that reveals he and his wife have been sleeping in separate rooms for some time - we’re unsure exactly how long, but most people who’ve mentioned it have said it started in may. according to ryan, this was because his wife was exposed to covid at her job, but the quarantine period for covid is only 2 weeks - why would they be sleeping in separate rooms for so long when they clearly were not doing so before?
it is speculated that his wife may have somehow learned of ryan’s dalliances, as he was also seen without his wedding ring in streams much more often around the same time. it is unknown exactly why, though, so take this with a grain of salt.
MORE ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS:
a deleted user on reddit makes a post stating that they, too, sexted with ryan while they were also married. their husband found out and threatened to leak the info, but the user was able to convince him not to do so and he - according to op - deleted what proof he had. although the original post is now deleted, a pinned moderator comment on it states that the user provided proof corroborating the story in private. you can read a copy-pasted version of that story here. (apologies if it’s out of order.)
MORE CAST MEMBER COMMENTARY:
a list of all known cast member statements can be found here. it’s pretty comprehensive, but there are some i want to address here directly:
lindsay snaps at someone who tries to call her out for “not supporting her family” (meaning ryan). this, for me, is the big reason why i feel that she, at the very least, is being sincere.
blaine posts this.... weird video of him working out and captions it “me figuring out how to convert anxiety into energy.” i guess it’s supposed to be somewhat of a mood lightener, but honestly it just feels kind of trivializing to me. idk what he was thinking LMAO
aaron marquis makes this... interesting (and vague) comment. no further elaboration on it, but it’s definitely unique in comparison to many others.
meg’s statement strikes me as particularly devoid of sincerity. it may just be confirmation bias, but i just feel like it’s incredibly hollow in comparison to the others (which are also kind of hollow LMAO).
joel heyman, who was fired from rt not long ago, doesnt comment directly, but does like this tweet which calls him “the only non-degenerate connected to rt.” (OCT. 12 EDIT: he has since posted this tweet with no context, but i think it’s pretty clear what hes referring to.)
tina dayton, streamer and wife of ray, posts this tweet letting people know that mentioning the ryan/adam situation to ray in streams will not be tolerated. (OCT. 21 EDIT: she posts this tweet a few days later, on october 15th, decrying anyone who wants to play “devils advocate” in support of an abuser against their victim.)
JAN 30 EDIT: this is very late, but sometime on or before january 6th, alfredo briefly discussed the ryan haywood situation on his stream and berated those who still support him. his closing statement is the perfect summation of all of these events: fuck ryan haywood.
WEEK 1, DAY 6 (october 9th):
adam kovic deletes his twitter account, and all other public social media. this is the last piece of relevant adam kovic information for several months to come.
MICHELLE VOLOGS
at 11:26 am, a twitter user named @MichelleVologs posts this tweet, containing a link to this video, called “what you need to know about ryan haywood,” in which she asserts - with proof - that she and ryan had sex on september 23rd 2017, when she was 17 years old.
brief summary: they began talking when she was 17 and dm’d him on instagram. it was platonic at first, but he began flirting with her and trying to sext with her, at which point she inquired about the nature of his relationship with his wife. he insisted that they were in a “sexless marriage” because his wife hates sex, and that he needed to seek it out elsewhere. (we have no idea if this is even remotely true - the only source claiming this is ryan himself.) they sexted for a while, then eventually met up in california and had sex in person (and much like the story that @jasminewill123 told, ryan removed the condom in the middle of sex). when michelle told ryan that she was underage, he simply stated that it was okay and that he “trusted her.” 
she shows screenshots throughout the video of their instagram dms, as well as some candid shots of ryan in their hotel room. (people have speculated that the latter two pictures may be ryan removing his wedding ring.) this picture also proves that they definitely met in person. take note of the fact that, in the dms, michelle keeps the conversation very platonic and professional - ryan is the one to initiate the sexual talk, and with zero prompting.
on top of this, michelle is also the first person to posit the idea that ryan deliberately chose to pursue young girls with mental health issues, a notion that will crop up again later.
EVEN MORE ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS
a reddit user by the name of “klowbie-frenzy” states that they, too, were victimized by ryan, though they dont publicly share their story or any particular info. they are encouraged to go to rt directly.
WEEK 1, DAY 7 (october 10th):
ryan begins deleting tweets, but other than that is completely radio silent. people analyzing ryan’s instagram notice this post, made on september 24th 2017 - the day after he and michelle had sex. sure enough, he is still in LA as he was the day before, and michelle herself comments on the post in a clear reference to the events of the day before, reasserting that she is telling the truth.
LEIGH:
yet another girl, leigh, comes forward and says she was sexually involved with ryan. she posts this (very long) document to her twitter account @leigh__sucks, which details the entirety of her relationship with ryan. unlike tessa and michelle, leigh was over 18 during the course of her experience with ryan (she was 20 when they first started talking).
brief summary of the document: she started messaging ryan on snapchat in 2017, and it remained platonic until february 2018, when they exchanged nudes for the first time. they sexted for a while, until hooking up for the first time at rtx 2018. leigh told someone she knew about the encounter, and this person began harassing leigh and ryan about it, threatening to tell his wife and leaving nasty comments on ryan’s stream. eventually the person backed off, and ryan and leigh continued sexting and meeting up for sex, on and off. according to her, they sexted as recently as september 2020.
this story is MUCH different than tessa’s and michelle’s, as leigh was still engaging with ryan fairly actively until only a month ago, and had a different perspective as an adult than the two underaged girls would have had. still, she is absolutely correct that ryan held a similar power over her due to his celebrity status, and that he took advantage of this.
she also provides screenshots and pictures of the two of them in the thread. although it is all VERY convincing - as if everything else hes done wasnt enough - theres something particularly unique in her thread, which is these screenshots of payments sent to her by ryan, under the name “sorta malicious gaming.” why is ryan sending leigh money under this name relevant? well...
RYAN’S DONATIONS:
one of ryan’s mods reveals that the email ryan used to send this money was connected to his stream. according to ryan, the money he received from twitch donations and bits went to his children’s college funds, or any necessary big-ticket expenditures like home repairs - however, as we can see here, that was a complete lie. this means that all donations he received, which he claimed went to taking care of himself and his family, were actually being spent on gifts and plane tickets for the girls he was hooking up with. im not sure if he could get into any legal trouble here - im doubtful, since they are donations - but this is just another way he took advantage of his fans, only this time is financial instead of sexual. and speaking of taking advantage of fans...
RYAN “VENTS” TO LEIGH:
shortly after posting her document, leigh added an update to say that ryan had redownloaded snapchat and that she’d immediately began taking screenshots. surprisingly, ryan messaged her and asked if she’d speak with him. leigh agreed (for the purpose of getting more screenshots, according to her), and ryan began talking about how his marriage and career were over, how he never meant to victimize anyone, and that the girls coming out would rather “make him the bad guy” than accept that theyd slept with him willingly. 
leigh mentions that it occurred to her how ryan would always cast doubt on any rumors by claiming that whatever girl hed been involved with was “crazy,” and notes that he did the same to her, all while calling her his “friend.” this will be relevant again later. 
ryan goes on to point the finger at leigh specifically, saying that he ‌“still‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌know‌ ‌if‌ ‌[she] ‌was‌ ‌going‌ ‌to‌ ‌add‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌fire‌ ‌at‌ ‌this‌ ‌point,”‌ ‌and‌ ‌how‌ ‌he‌ ‌“hoped‌ ‌[she wouldn’t]‌ ‌for‌ ‌his‌ ‌kids’‌ ‌sake.” all the while, leigh notes that he was deleting messages, proving to her that ryan was more fixated on his image and manipulating her into doing what HE wanted, rather than doing the right thing. here are screenshots of the conversation between leigh and ryan, and here are some clearer photos (as some are a bit blurry due to being taken on another phone).
WEEK 2, DAY 1 (october 11th):
this day is mostly quiet as people attempt to digest the absurd influx of information from the days prior, as well as the huge bombshell dropped by leigh in particular. 
RYAN’S DISCORD SERVER:
it’s discovered that ryan likely found out about the leaks very early on (either the very first day, or the day of tessa’s accusation), because he was noted as being online in his discord server, which he apparently rarely used.
the users in his discord server immediately disown him upon learning of his preying on minors, and assert that the server is now a general server instead of a ryan haywood server.
YOU GUESSED IT - MORE ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS:
this tweet thread is made by @trickstress_ stating that, while working with “the madhouse” (not exactly sure what this is, but it seems like some kind of ryan-themed community server), they attempted to get ryan to address a situation occurring behind the scenes in which someone was being bullied and harassed by other members. when ryan is sent five pages of screenshots and evidence, he basically says that screenshots are not proof and that the victim simply “wanted” to be offended. this caused trick and a few others to leave the madhouse.
in the same screenshot, he mentions a situation involving another certain user that he is dealing with (the name of the person in question is redacted in blue), and trick speculates that the person in blue may be another one of ryan’s victims.
meanwhile, twitter user @eacalpreon (whose account appears to be deleted) states that they uncovered this tumblr post from august 25th, 2019, about someone who spotted ryan at an austin hotel they used to work at, entering a hotel room booked by someone that was certainly NOT his wife. at the time of posting, this was simply brushed off as speculation and ignored.
KAYLA:
at 10:03 am, this tweet is posted by @HADERSRICHIE/, detailing yet another story of their encounters with ryan. unlike other stories, kayla unfortunately does not have any screenshot evidence due to losing it all after unfriending ryan from snapchat in 2018 - but in all honesty, at this point we know hes guilty, so that part is not as relevant.
brief summary of the document: the two began talking on snapchat in february 2017, but they didnt begin talking regularly until june 2017, after kayla had moved to austin (for non-related reasons). kayla reveals that she is the user from trick’s tweet thread that was bullied out of the madhouse, and that ryan was not only unhelpful, but was actively telling people that she was a “crazy psycho.” she also backs up the idea that ryan seemed to deliberately target girls with mental health issues. in late 2017/early 2018, the two “make up” and ryan initiates sexual talk. within the first day of flirting, ryan sends kayla a dick pic. the two sexted for a while, and eventually did hook up in person. they hooked up 3 times in total before kayla unfriended ryan on snapchat and ceased all communication with him. 
unlike other cases, kayla was of age (23/24) when this all went down. later on, trick confirms on reddit that kayla was indeed the person from her tweet thread whose name was censored in blue.
DOT:
at 3:37 pm, this tweet thread is posted by @alijdotroro stating that she was also involved with ryan for a few months. her thread is fairly short, and she states that they never had sex in person or anything to the same extent as some of the others - he flirted with her for the first time while she was at a concert, it continued for several months, then he got bored and stopped it. dot was unable to provide screenshots as she had deleted her snapchat. 
JACK’S STATEMENT:
jack pattillo posts this tweet at 8:16 pm, containing this document regarding the ryan (and adam) situation. he first addresses his feelings of anger, betrayal, and guilt, stating that he feels somewhat responsible as he helped to create the same platform that ryan abused. he goes on to thank everyone who has had kind words for him and the other rt staff, and states that while he knows everyone handles rough situations differently, he hopes that people can understand his desire to think positively. he goes on to say that he knows it will be difficult for fans to trust rt going forward, but that he hopes they will give rt another chance and that they (rt) “will be better - [they] have to be.” 
as far as all of the statements go, in my opinion, this one is the most sincere of all (although lindsay’s is definitely the most sincere for me) - jack clearly wrote this himself instead of using standard “shocked” quotes as many of the other rt cast did, and while it is definitely very damage control-y, i can easily tell that he, at the very least, is taking the matter seriously. this doesnt necessarily mean that jack 100% didnt know, but at this point i am inclined to believe that he didnt.
WEEK 2, DAY 2 (october 12th):
twitter user @fantaisieally discusses her own experiences with ryan haywood; they chatted on snapchat starting in 2017, she would often go to him for dating advice, and while ryan finally tried to hit on her, he got completely deaded when she told him that he was “like her older brother.” honestly this one is just really funny to me, like she completely curved his ass and he had to flounder talking about “i was JOKING lol just a joke!” it’s pretty glorious after all this terrible shit.
someone on reddit notes that after ally turns him down, ryan doesnt apologize or anything, but instead continues the “joke” in such a way that prompts her to accept his offer while still giving him plausible deniability. (that phrase is going to come up quite a bit with regard to his overall “strategy.”)
KATIE B:
at 9:08 am, twitter user @frizzical/ posts this tweet thread, documenting her own relationship with ryan. she states that, while their relationship thankfully never turned sexual, ryan absolutely attempted to groom her into sex and even mentioned her to another girl, saying he wanted a threesome with both of them.
brief summary of the document: katie started watching his streams when she was 17, and ryan knew her by name very quickly. they started talking on snapchat shortly after she turned 18, and although it was generally rt-related, one day she reached out asking for advice on a personal situation that ryan was incredibly helpful with, leading to them talking semi-regularly. they talked about katie’s abusive home life and mental health issues, and while things were mostly platonic, ryan would sometimes drop inappropriate questions in, such as if katie was a virgin and what her sexuality was. when katie hit hard financial times, ryan attempted multiple times to send her money, and when katie refused to take charity, he would make a “joke” about having her pay it off with sex.
eventually ryan forced her to accept the money, stating that he would no longer speak to her if she didnt. ryan was katie’s main support system, and so she felt she had no choice but to accept it. she states that he sent her $1000 in total, all of which came from his twitch’s paypal. he also actively tried to turn katie against her best friend - kayla, who was the other victim mentioned on week 2, day 1 (october 11th) - by telling her that kayla was crazy, but this did not work. in 2019, katie moved in with ryan’s mod bambi, and ryan very suddenly cut off contact completely. ryan and katie got back in contact as recently as earlier this week, and when she began taking screenshots of their snap conversations, ryan dm’d her on twitter to confront her about it, further trying to manipulate her. she ends with a message of support for the other girls. 
the messages ryan sent katie are viewable in the thread, but i would like to link them directly here to show how he manipulates victims. notice how he once again pins the blame on the victim for taking screenshots, instead of himself for being a fucking creep. 
RT’S RESPONSE:
they’ve been pretty quiet the last few days, but someone noticed that the off topic podcast episode #177 has been removed from iOS podcasts. this episode is the one where the guys discuss ryan’s habit of leaving business trips a day late. i find it extremely interesting that the company is claiming ignorance of the situation, yet would remove this VERY key piece of information in the process.
OFF TOPIC #177
i originally just had this as a bulletpoint in the miscellanous info section, but decided to move it to its own segment because it is actually quite significant to this story. in this video, michael, jeremy, gavin, ray, geoff, and andy blanchard discuss ryan’s habit of always leaving business trips a day late.
quick description: michael brings up a conversation he had with ryan about staying an extra day on business trips, and paraphrases ryan as saying that he prefers to stay away longer because “[his wife] isnt gonna watch [the kids], im not gonna get a fucking second at home.” michael then states that theyve “gotten to the bottom of this,” that ryan just wants to sleep before “going home to that nightmare.” 
as michael is talking, geoff and jeremy both go quiet and look very pensive and glassy-eyed, while ray tries to joke that the quote was a “cry for help from ryan” but immediately frowns after saying so. gavin, jeremy, and andy are completely quiet for the entire second half of the video. michael tries to paper over it by saying that ryan loves his kids very much as evidenced by their frequent appearances in his streams, but a visibly-uncomfortable ray makes another “joke” that having his kids appear in his videos is “easy money.”
then there is a VERY awkward silence in which everyone looks super uncomfortable, jeremy takes a massive gulp of his drink, ray has his hand over his mouth as he stares hard at michael and shakes his head repeatedly (as if telling him to stop talking), and geoff lets out a HUGE sigh, as if he’s just realized something terrible. michael ends the clip with the comment that they didnt “jack” ryan, meaning that they werent making fun of ryan to have him come on the podcast and defend himself. (OCT. 12 EDIT: thanks to @juggey for clarifying this!) although it’s not included in this short clip, the full podcast shows that the incredibly tense moment is cut by fiona nova immediately walking on set with a puppy out of nowhere. very fucking weird.
while it is largely circumstantial, i find this clip is extremely telling, and i think this is the moment where they realized that something was going on with ryan’s homelife (either they recognized that the real reason he wanted to stay behind was to cheat, or they’d simply put together that he was not happy at home for whatever reason). the fact that this off topic is one of the only ones to have been taken down also really strikes me as important.
ALISON
at 2:31 pm, twitter user @adothop posted some screenshots of conversations between herself and ryan. they did not have a sexual relationship, but looks like ryan tried hard (and failed hard LMAO) at flirting with her, to no avail. not much else to say about this one - it’s pretty straightforward.
RYAN’S STATEMENT
at 7:48 pm (around the same time i uploaded this post, lmao), ryan posted this statement on his twitter account, discussing the events of this past week. he takes full accountability for his actions, stating that he abused his position and crossed the line as a public figure, while also asking that people stop harassing his family. the statement’s about as cookie cutter as it can get - after all, what can a person really say to absolve themselves after being outed as doing so much horrid stuff?
i again am skeptical of the claim that his family is being harassed, though i dont doubt that people are harassing HIM directly, but in any case it’s as much of a non-apology as one might expect. he even tries to shift blame by saying he “always came from a place of what [he] thought was a shared connection.” it’s boilerplate bullshit, as usual.
ANOTHER RH STORY ANON
sometime around 9 pm, a reddit user going by r/anotherrhstoryanon (i will call them anon for short) put this post on the r/roosterteeth subreddit, and linked to a 30 page google doc detailing their relationship with ryan. the timeline of this one is very difficult to parse, but i will do my best to lay it out clearly. particular tw for this story - it describes in detail sexual abuse, physical abuse, and features ddlg heavily throughout. i will not be linking any images directly - please view the doc for those.
(not-so)-brief summary: im not certain of when ryan and anon originally started talking, but the earliest message shown in their conversation is from december 2016, and the first time they met up in person was april 2017. they were “together” for at least a year, as anon states that it took them until march 2018 to begin distancing themselves from ryan. their relationship was HEAVILY steeped in dd/lg culture - ryan almost solely referred to anon as names like “little girl,” “baby girl,” even calls them “kiddo” in the VERY FIRST SCREENSHOT and asks if theyve ever been with an older man. given that he already dipped below the age of consent twice (that we know of - we currently do not know the age of this anon), this is a very horrifying start.
anon admits pretty early on - to both ryan (in the screenshots) and the reader - that they were very intimidated by him, and felt a sort of compulsion to do as he ordered. but as they say quite clearly, they realized soon into their “relationship” that even though they wanted to please ryan so he’d like them, they hated having sex with him, hated BEING sexual with him, and just generally hated being with him. although they enjoyed sex the first time, they note that sex with ryan was rough and painful every time after, leading to them tearing more than once and bleeding EVERY time, and sometimes causing them to be unable to sit or walk after. 
ryan not only ignored anon every time they asked him to be more gentle, but seemed to get off on it, making comments about how they “needed more abuse” or that they “had to work up to it.” on top of all this, ryan would not wear a condom while having sex with anon, and lied to them about them being the only fan he was having sex with - which they believed until august 2020, more than two years later, when ryan said there was “one other fan.” in actuality, ryan had been sleeping with multiple girls and often removing the condom during sex, a fact well-documented here. 
anon ends the document by tying their story to several other known facts, to show the pattern of ryan’s behavior, and sharing some other pertinent info. some of these include:
- a picture of them taken in a hotel room mirror, in an identical room and position to the picture leigh took. 
- this video, at timestamp 8:27, of the off topic podcast #87. in this short moment, ryan idly licks a cupcake. anon shows a screenshot in which ryan messaged her and admitted that he was thinking about her while he was licking it. 
- screenshots of ryan attempting (again with limited success) to give anon money or buy them presents. anon was resistant to this, as katie had been, but ryan managed to convince them to accept a remote controlled sex toy. later in the same exchange, he uses the term “plausible deniability” again. there is a reason this keeps cropping up - he very likely used the phrase often.
- a screenshot of anon telling ryan point blank that the power dynamic between them was imbalanced. this message is dated may 23rd, 2020 - and around june 12th, 2020 was leigh’s exchange with ryan, in which he tells leigh that he is older and “some kind of quasi-internet person,” and is worried this will influence her.
- screenshots of ryan admitting to choking anon without their permission. according to anon, this was not the first time he did something to them without permission, and it wasnt even the non-consensual act anon was referring to when they brought it up. i sincerely cannot overstate my fucking disgust here.
there is a lot more i can get into here, but im going to cut it off here for the sake of brevity (and out of disgust, honestly). please consider reading all 30 pages, if you can stomach it - it truly is even worse than it sounds. theres a reason i didnt link to any of their messages directly.
WEEK 2, DAY 3 (october 13th):
sometime earlier in the week (im not sure when, as the “adam kovic” aspect of the story has been pretty much lost the plot), jess kovic deletes her twitter account. the reason why is pretty easy to guess. then, sometime today, it’s discovered that she has also deleted all posts containing pictures of adam on her instagram account.
(JAN 30 EDIT: this was originally an archive link which showed all of the most recent posts on jess’s insta, of which quite a few adam ones had been deleted [i saw it myself the day it was posted]. unfortunately, it appears the archive was taken down, so ive replaced the original link with a screenshot from kiwifarms of the first person to mention it on the thread. i know thats not amazing proof, but sadly its the best i can do.)
this all but confirms that jess did not consent to having those pictures/videos sent to other people, if she consented to having them taken at all, and this makes adams actions even more disgusting than we initially believed them to be.
RH ANON PT. 2:
people are still reeling from the absolutely horrendous document released the day before (oct. 12) when anon posts a short update on the very last page of the doc, which you can read here. they clear up some points that people were confused on; most are not relevant for our purposes, but the biggest one is that anon confirms they were NOT underage during their “relationship” with ryan and that he knew this. 
anon also confirms that ryan deliberately lied about the circumstances of their “relationship” in order to keep them from backing out of it, as he knew they would not want to proceed with a sexual relationship if he admitted the truth. based on context, i am taking this to mean that he lied about not sleeping with anyone else, and about wearing condoms if he did. 
MEGASHINY:
at 3:04 pm, ryan’s mod meg (who i will be calling by her username, megashiny, for the sake of clarity) posts this tweet, which contains a link to this document. in this document, she admits that ryan took advantage of his position over her (as, being his mod, she was basically his employee) and started sending her nudes without consent in september 2017 (she says it was a sunday, so either the 6th, 13th, 20th, or 27th - notice the proximity to his encounters with michelle and tessa). 
brief summary: he played the same card he had with the others, talking about his sexless marriage, and convinced megashiny to sleep with him. when she asked him point blank how many other girls he was involved with, he lied and said only one or two - as we clearly note, there were many, many more than that. she did not want to sleep with him, but like anon from yesterday, felt compelled to do what he asked. even when megashiny tried to say no to a sex act he wanted to do, he told her he “knew how to make her say yes.” he also knew about her having adhd and anxiety, and in conjunction with the other girls, strikes me as yet another continuation of his pattern of targeting mentally ill and neurodivergent women and girls.
while megashiny was somewhat close in age to ryan (she was 28 at the time), if youll notice in her picture, she is quite thin and small in stature - both of which contribute to her looking pretty young. while i do believe ryan knew her age, it would not surprise me if he pursued her because she had the APPEARANCE of being in her late teens.
megashiny posts an update later the same day, detailing the exact method weve seen happen with the other girls before - ryan would “throw all this attention and praise at [them], make [them] feel special,” only to “basically ghost [them].” this left the girls feeling like theyd done something wrong, but in actuality, it was all part of his plan to keep them dependent on and obedient to him. these same patterns crop up in every story, no matter the variables.
she also admits that she essentially helped ryan with his “sexcapades” by either covering for him, encouraging the girls to sleep with him, or just generally keeping her mouth shut regarding what she knew about them. (this part is very vaguely described, so i can only surmise what she means specifically, but i do think this is essentially what she is saying.) shortly after she posted this, ryan called her and begged her for over an hour to not divulge anymore information, and to “think of his wife and kids.” 
RYAN BEGINS MESSAGING VICTIMS: 
at 7:04 pm, michelle posts this tweet, with the caption “how it started vs how it ended (hopefully, and please stop harassing me)” and two pictures. the first picture is of her first exchange with ryan on instagram; the second picture is a more recent message from ryan (not sure exactly what day it was received, but as it still shows his old icon, it is definitely a few days old), begging her to take down her video and tweets and to “think about his kids.” (brief tw for suicide mention in the next two paragraphs.)
he even goes so far as to strongly imply that he is going to kill himself, telling michelle that he is “going to die” and that “he will die for this if you [michelle] want.” from the statement michelle made, it seems likely that he has sent her similar messages over the course of the last week. michelle must have blocked him on his original account, because he then made this throwaway account and dm’d her again, repeating the same sort of rhetoric and begging her to remove her statements “for his kids.”
in the same tweet thread, another victim, ileena (who was shown accusing ryan very early on in a previous screenshot) posts an old screenshot of a conversation between her and ryan, in which she is actively suicidal and ryan begs her not to kill herself because “practically there’s no way they wouldnt investigate and figure out you and i had stuff going on.” he straight up tells her that he doesnt want her to die because their affair will be discovered.
(note: ileena’s original screenshot contains a full, unblocked number that could potentially belong to ryan - but DO NOT CONTACT THIS NUMBER. he is a disgusting monster, but it is not anyone’s place to needlessly antagonize him, and we dont even know that that is his actual number to begin with. i am only putting this disclaimer because the screenshot is easily viewable in the thread; i wouldnt even mention it otherwise.) 
CAS:
not long after midnight, @slayercas/ (who i will refer to as “cas” for short) posts this cryptic tweet, strongly hinting at needing to say something important, but being scared to do so due to a lack of evidence - the surrounding tweets are all about ryan haywood, making it highly likely they are alluding to having been one of his victims. approximately 4 hours later, they received this message from a throwaway account, ostensibly owned by ryan.
notably, though, is the fact that this is NOT the same throwaway account which ryan was messaging michelle from - the account michelle was messaged from is @pleaseR73880233, while the account cas was messaged from, although the name is partially obscured, ends with the number “7384736.” no confirmation on cas’s claim, nor whether the account is truly ryan’s. 
(OCT. 14 EDIT: the full name seems to be @pleaseR27384736, which originally led to this cryptically bereft page. note the join date, amount of tweets, and amount of followers - the account was in use for quite some time, and may have had a different username before messaging cas. someone also takes note of the fact that there was an intern named “amber” who worked at rooster teeth years ago, but so far no connection has been made between the name and anyone else. 
sadly, this account has since been deleted, so no proper analysis of who it is following and who follows it can be done. the username has since been taken and the account replaced with this - take their personal opinion with a grain of salt.)   
MJ:
at 9:21 am, twitter user @mjmills_ posts these tweets containing these screenshots of a recent conversation with ryan. although she declines to share her story right then, she notes that ryan has been taking screenshots of their old conversations, a statement which causes ryan to message her asking “where [she is] on the hate meter” and once again trying to manipulate her. although nothing is forthcoming right away, this will pop up again later.
WEEK 2, DAY 4  (october 14th):
rt’s community manager, jackie izawa, announces her departure from the company. i cant even imagine how much shit she was inundated with after this news broke, but given that she explicitly mentions her mental health being a factor in her decision, im willing to bet it was a lot.
joel heyman also posts this incredibly eyebrow-raising tweet, clearly accusing rt staff of having known full well about ryan’s actions ahead of time. given that he was fired not long ago, it is entirely possible that he is just stirring the pot - but as he is a former rt founder, there may be some truth to his claim. if it IS true, however, then it reflects just as poorly on him, as it means that he ALSO knew about ryan and did nothing.
RYAN’S SOCIAL MEDIA:
sometime in the morning (before 11 am), ryan deletes his twitter account and his instagram. the throwaway account that was used to message michelle is also deleted around the same time, making it highly likely that it did indeed belong to ryan.
interestingly, the account that messaged cas is not deleted until much later (somewhere around 1:30-2 pm), and not before sending some more harassing messages. note the final message which says that “[his] family can’t handle another story coming out.” this strongly implies that there are even more girls than we’ve already seen - and counting every single accusation we know of, not just confirmed ones, we’ve already gotten somewhere between 10-15 girls.  
CAS PT. 2:
after some more messages from the potential ryan account, cas posts this follow-up tweet to clarify some points. she states clearly that she was NOT underage, and lives local to austin, which would explain both her fears about speaking out and how she could have encountered ryan. 
JACK AND MICHAEL:
in the early afternoon, jack and michael go live on youtube to do a stream together - but first, the monumental task of discussing ryan. (OCT. 14 EDIT: the original video was privated almost immediately after its conclusion; here is a reupload. it is sadly missing quite a few moments due to the site crashing periodically, but the majority of their conversation is there.) 
some key bits from the conversation:
- the first minute or so, both jack and michael have difficulty speaking, and stutter/stop short quite a bit before jack finally begins to talk in earnest. jack expresses disgust and regret immediately, apologizing to the community for “letting [them] down,” and thanks people who have been supportive to the victims and rt staff.
- michael point blank states that the achievement hunter staff - and probably more, also - were put into “counseling.” he does not specify whether he means LEGAL counseling or EMOTIONAL counseling, but given the way both he and jack act throughout the video, im all but certain that it’s the latter.
- jack asks that people not bother geoff, as he is “going through his own stuff,” and strongly implies that the situation with ryan has thrown him for a massive loop and possibly sent him into a downward spiral.
- michael states that they will NOT be discussing ryan at all during off-topic, and notes that they no longer want to even mention his name, let alone spend time talking about him at length (and, indeed, they do not address him by name in the video even once - jack mainly refers to him as “that guy” or “that monster,” while michael only refers to ryan as “he” or “him”). i personally am in pretty strong disagreement with the way theyve chosen to approach this, but i can understand the reasoning behind it.
- jack announces the return of rt extra life, and states that they will be doing a full week of 12 hour streams instead of one 24 hour stream “to make up for all the shit that happened this year.” 
- this is a small moment, and COMPLETE conjecture on my part, but i noticed it pretty quickly; at timestamp 14:15, when michael’s child cries off-screen, he slightly turns toward that direction, then seems to suddenly get upset and turns his face away from the camera, so his hair and hat obscure most of his profile. he seems to take a hard swallow, bites his lip (which is quivering), and rubs his face hard before turning back toward the camera. all of these things in conjunction make it seem that he was biting back tears, or otherwise chasing away some bad thought (possibly about ryan’s kids?).  
while i, as always, remain skeptical that no one knew about ryan, i do have to admit that this video is extremely saddening to watch. jack is audibly on the verge of tears for the entire 20-minute video, and michael looks absolutely miserable from beginning to end, as well - his hair is visibly unkempt under his hat, and his face is contorted into a grimace pretty much the whole time, all of which speaks to a sincere depressive state. in any case, rt as a whole has been well and truly fucked by this series of events.
SURVIVORS OF RYAN PT. 1:
earlier in the day, the twitter account @survivorsofryan (run by katie) received these dms from an anonymous account, stating that they were involved with ryan many years ago, around 2004/2005, and that he was still dating his girlfriend (now wife) at that time. they conclude that he has been cheating on her since at least 2004, possibly even earlier than that. note that this anonymous person also fits into ryan’s “preferred” age range of 18 or just over 18, while ryan was in his mid 20s at the time.
RYAN’S MODS 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO:
all of ryan’s mods (katie, bambi, freckles, and more) have their mod powers removed from his youtube and twitch channels. freckles posits an excellent question - why would he remove their mod powers instead of just simply deleting both accounts?
there arent many answers i can think of other than the obvious one - that ryan sincerely plans to return to his online career once this “blows over.” his entitlement is absolutely unthinkable.
ASTRID ROSE:
at 7:01 pm, twitter user @astridrose_20 posts this tweet containing this document, detailing her relationship with ryan. (tw for sexual abuse.) 
summary: their first contact was in late 2018, when astrid was 18. she reached out to him to thank him for his positive content and mentioned her mental health struggle and abusive home life, and ryan responded in a kind way and comforted her. they had a friendly, platonic relationship for a short while, but he soon became suggestive. initially, astrid shut down his advances due to viewing him as a father figure, but was scared that he would sever contact should she not acquiesce. feeling indebted to him for his kindness, astrid rose eventually accepted his advances. 
they sexted for some time until meeting in person in 2019. astrid told ryan she was a virgin and was not on birth control, but ryan assured her he would wear a condom. ryan was, as many girls before have mentioned, very rough and gave her no time to adjust, and removed the condom halfway through sex in spite of astrid telling him she did not want him to. much like the r/roosterteeth anon mentioned, ryan was very rough, and astrid could hardly walk after.
they met up 10 more times after this, and every meeting eventually went this way - astrid could not take pill-form bc due to it making her feel unwell, so every time ryan would promise to wear a condom, and every time he would remove it in the middle of sex. astrid also states that, like the r/roosterteeth anon, ryan did things “similar” to the choking he did to that anon, but astrid did not want to specify any more than this. 
eventually, as a result of her trauma, astrid began binge eating and gained weight. ryan apparently lost interest in her due to this and cut all contact with her, at which point she deleted all their messages and other forms of contact. 
although the story does not have any corroborating evidence, this lines up extremely well with what we have already learned about ryan, and i cant really find myself doubting any bit of it, as it all seems to fit very clearly into the picture. 
KRISTEN M/TATS:
at 8:21 pm, a community member by the name of kristen (nicknamed tats by the community - i will be referring to her as “tats”) posts this tweet containing yet another story about ryan. the story is thankfully not as horrific as some of the others, but is elucidating nonetheless.
brief summary: tats first reached out to ryan in 2013, as she had just founded the blog “fuckyeahrtfanfic” (which is exactly what it sounds like) and wanted to do a q&a with some rt cast members. ryan agreed, and after the q&a she and ryan both kept up contact. tats notes that, while ryan definitely started their relationship off similarly to that of the other girls (being kind and sweet, helping them with emotional problems, sending gifts and other such things, then progressing to sexually suggestive comments and “jokes”), things did not go the same way for her.
simply put, tats did not indulge ryan at all in the sexual stuff very much, and would either brush past it or not notice it. she notes that, after a while - primarily when the other girls, like his twitch mods, came into the picture - their interactions became shorter, more business-like, and much more rare. she concludes by wondering if there was anything she could have done had she been more knowledgeable about what was going on.
while the story is not an allegation in itself, it is indeed telling about ryan’s process, as it shows clearly what happens if the girls he spoke to didnt meet his “standards.” tats does seem grateful to have been spared a much worse fate, but she notes that big parts of her life that were populated by interactions with ryan have now been sullied, and that she feels a tremendous amount of guilt for what little involvement she had in pushing girls toward ryan (as she states that some of the people who’ve come forward were people she knew and unintentionally “placed in harm’s way”). his selfish behavior has had a massive impact that extends far beyond himself and his victims, and it’s horrific to think about.
WEEK 2, DAY 5 (october 15th):
this day was pretty uneventful, overall: only one major breakthrough that i could see.
MJ PT. 2:
at 10:46 am, MJ posts this tweet containing this google doc detailing her relationship with ryan. her story is quite different, as she is currently (as of october 15th) the only girl to have been in ryan’s age range (she was 30 at the time, ryan was 38), and was also married at the time of their relationship.
brief summary: she and ryan began talking around november 2018, and although she was married, both she and her husband were interested in pursuing a polyamorous relationship/open marriage (im not clear on exactly which, as mj uses the term “polyam,” but what she describes sounds closer to an open marriage which allows for no-strings sex outside of the relationship). mj vented to ryan about her anxieties with pursuing this kind of marriage, and ryan talked her through it and vented about his own marital troubles. they began to flirt in earnest.
in december 2018, mj approached ryan about rumors she had heard of other girls, which ryan of course denied. mj found out later that month that there were indeed others. in january 2019, ryan offered to fly her out to austin for a hook-up (using the money from his twitch account, of course). with her husbands approval, mj went in february, and they spent a while together - but when she returned home, ryan immediately ghosted her, and did not talk to her for a few weeks after. mj notes how disgusted and used she felt after the fact, but something still drew her to him, and they continued to have an on-off “relationship” until as recently as this year, where she notes that their conversations slowed basically to a halt. she ends the doc with an apology to everyone who was hurt by ryan. 
at this point, the stories are likely going to be much more of the same, as it’s clear that ryan had a predetermined system for how he’d approach these hook-ups, so i expect many more stories along these lines in the coming days. 
WEEK 2, DAY 6 (october 16th):
@slayercas/ abandons her twitter account due to continual harassment from yet another “pleaseread” account. do note that this is NOT the same account as before, since that one was deleted and then repurposed - this new one is completely barren, with only two (inexplicable) followers and no tweets or content to speak of. i am hesitant to believe that this is truly ryan, as the message really doesnt sound like something he would send at this point in time - however, i dont believe cas has faked this either (after all, why would she abandon the account if she was faking messages from ryan “for attention”?).
my outstanding theory is that someone completely unrelated has made up the account to mess with cas, as we know for sure that at least one person disbelieved cas enough to take the name of the previous account and say so in their description. on top of that, the fact that some of the numbers included are “911″ - making me think 9/11 - and “88401″ - making me think someone tried to slip in a “1488″ reference, but didnt want it to be obvious - have me skeptical that this is a real ryan throwaway. again, this is complete conjecture; please take it with a grain of salt.
SURVIVORS OF RYAN PT. 2:
at 10:25 am, @survivorsofryan posts this tweet containing this document from an anonymous person. (i will refer to them as UK anon, since that is where they are from.)
brief summary: UK anon starts off by saying that, while they did not sleep with ryan themselves, they know someone who has and is going to allow them to speak out for themselves. moving to themselves, they first spoke to ryan in march 2017, and sent him the usual “thank you for your content” message on his snapchat. they were in a discord group for RT, and apparently a few of them decided to send ryan suggestive pictures, which started off a few sexting relationships between them and him. according to UK anon, one of the discord members flew out - on their own dime - to sleep with him, while others had been sexting with him for a long time and were even still doing so recently. 
UK anon did meet ryan at rtx london in 2018, and was even brought on stage and sat next to him by lawrence sonntag (from funhaus) - she states that she’s fairly certain he recognized her, as he made it a point to be very physically close to her and to touch her quite a bit. she notes that, before this, she and many other girls had long since cut contact with him, and he’d promised he would stop the cheating and sexting with fans (which we, of course, know was a complete lie). she ends by saying that they thought they knew the truth about ryan, that he was simply a liar and cheater, but in actuality he was a sexual predator who’d been manipulating girls all along, and that this has floored her and her friends.
ON THE SPOT #80
as with off topic #177, i was going to put this in miscellaneous, but it is actually a huge moment in the context of this story. someone uncovers this moment from on the spot episode 80 (timestamp is 29:40 if the link doesnt work), in which burnie, barbara, jeremy, and ryan are playing “never have i ever,” and jon puts forth the prompt “never have i ever sent nude pics.” ryan takes a big swig, as does jeremy, and jon presses it by asking both of them if the nudes were sent to “someone other than [their wives].” ryan states that hes “not having this conversation” and that he had a life before he was married, to which barbara “jokingly” responds, “and after!”
burnie, however, looks a bit perturbed and says, “you had a life before your wife before camera phones?” to which ryan responds, “email existed back then, and camera phones.” that seems to cover it, you would think, EXCEPT that ryan is telling an out and out lie.
firstly, as we clearly know, he was sexting many more people than his wife, and quite recently. it was stupid of him to not just lie and say no, honestly, but i think weve come to realize ryan is not that bright. secondly, while ryan got married in 2007, he was dating his wife for a few years before that, as this anonymous contributor confirmed days ago - he was already dating his wife in 2004, when he had an affair with the anon. 
third, he is correct that camera phones and email existed back then - however, the average phone at that time did NOT have a camera, and the ones that did capped at 1.3 megapixels, which tended to look something like this. (forgive the random picture; its all i could find to show what i meant.) note how grainy and small the image is, and also take into consideration that this would have been the camera on a top-of-the-line phone in 2004, NOT the sort of phone the average person would have owned. this is assuming 2004 is the latest year he could have sent such pictures to someone without being in a relationship with his wife; camera phones were almost unheard of pre-2003, so his story completely falls apart there. 
he does have a point about the email aspect, but if we are sincerely considering that he may not be lying here, this would mean that he was finding people online to send nudes to (in a VERY pre-social media world; this wouldve been on like, bbs sites, or miscellaneous blogs/homepages, so it wouldve required some serious searching), taking nudes on a digital camera, manually uploading all the pictures to his computer, sorting out the nudes of choice, and then sending them. i dont think i need to go much further into this to show how quickly the basic concept of this falls apart.
WEEK 2, DAY 7 (october 17th):
not much to say in terms of ryan/his victims so far today, but i think this is relevant, so im going to include it - we instead get a surprise tweet from trevor collins, who was previously accused of cheating on and abusing his ex gf, which contains this statement basically refuting the claims entirely with many screenshots. 
i know absolutely nothing about the original trevor accusation, as i was no longer watching rt when trevor joined the crew and had long since lost interest in rt by the time the accusations began going around, so i cannot speak to the veracity of anything said in here, or of the original accusation. i will decline to state my personal opinion on the document, and instead just link it for you all to peruse. 
CAS PT. 2:
at 7:48 pm, @slayercas/ (OCT. 21 EDIT: the account name is now @otpineedyou) posts this tweet containing a document, describing their own story with ryan. 
brief summary: cas informs us out the gate that she was NOT underage, but rather in her late 20s during all this. she reached out to him to thank him for his content, to which ryan responded in a flirtatious way. things quickly escalated to full on sexting from there. when ryan asked if cas wanted to meet in person, she initially declined, but continued talking to him sexually after he confessed to having an open marriage (and cas notes that he did not say this until after she stated that she was in an open relationship herself). cas shared a story regarding a sexual trauma she had with ryan, which he seemed to empathize with.
once they began talking about dom/sub stuff, ryan got more aggressive in tone, and often brought up things like extreme roughness and choking. if cas asked ryan to stop bringing up things that were traumatic, he would apologize but continue to do so anyway. cas became uncomfortable and decided to forgo all sexual conversations with ryan; if he brought up something suggestive, she would either make an excuse to go or change the subject. he tried to guilt trip her into talking to him, but she did not budge, and eventually had to delete all rt-related accounts to put distance between him and herself. she closes with a message of positivity for others in the same situation.
ANON-2:
around 10 pm, this post is made on r/roosterteeth containing this document. although it is also about ryan, a sizable portion of the doc focuses on the anon’s experience with geoff. (i will be calling them anon-2 just for the sake of intelligiblity. i cant link pictures, so please check the doc for those.) 
brief summary: anon-2 was in their early-mid 20s (in mid 2016) when they discovered rt, and decided to send a snap to all of the cast members who had open snap accounts. ryan replied and, although things started out normal, they quickly became suggestive. at the same time, though, geoff also began talking to anon-2 and things also became flirty with them. they did exchange nudes and sext quite often while geoff was still married, but says they never slept with geoff themselves, although they knew others who did.  
anon-2 ended up hooking up with ryan in person, and as with the other girls, he lied about not sleeping with anyone else, and insisted on not using a condom. they had sex multiple times that weekend, and anon-2 confirms that, like the other girls claimed, ryan was incredibly rough and violent with sex. anon-2 then proceeds to share many screenshots and unseen pictures of ryan, and in addition, provides messages from as recently as october 10th, where she goads him into talking about what all happened. ryan confirms he has spoken to a pr agent and a lawyer, and then makes a very weird non-joke about possibly needing an “anchor marriage” to get out of the country, implying he would ask anon-2 to do this for him. anon-2 finishes the main part of the doc by saying she knows ryan has been seeking out sex from craigslist, and that she was just a part of his grand manipulation scheme all along.
WEEK 3, DAY 1 (october 18th):
barely after midnight, we get yet another r/roosterteeth anon, posting a document detailing their relationship with ryan. much like the others, we can see that ryan followed the same pattern of flattery and kindness, getting them to talk about their mental health issues, goading them into doing things they were not comfortable with, and eventually dropping them when he realized he could not manipulate them like the others. not much else to say about it, but i wanted to catalogue it all the same.
ANON-2 PT. 2:
an update is added to anon-2′s google doc, at the end of page 13, addressing the geoff side of their post. they post candids of geoff in a hotel room, sent to them by a friend who’d slept with geoff. they add a third update later the same day, insisting that, like the girls, geoff had no clue that ryan was a sexual predator. anon-2 goes on to add that geoff never mentioned anything about his wife knowing about his sleeping around, but states that they will not be sharing more information unless given permission to do so from the girls affected. lastly, she begs people to stop hassling millie, geoff’s underage daughter. 
GEOFF’S STATEMENT:
not long after anon-2′s update, geoff releases this statement on r/roosterteeth. he basically lays everything out, saying that he did indeed sext with and have sex with some fans during a period in his marriage where they were trying an open relationship, but that he felt uncomfortable with the imbalance due to the fans knowing so much about him and he so little about them. he goes onto say that he has taken a step back from rt due to extreme stress and mental health issues, and that he has not spoken about the ryan situation due to how overwhelming and upsetting it is. he closes by asking that people not drag his daughter and ex-wife into things, and leave all blame for him.
i am extremely mixed on this; on the one hand, geoff is an extremely skilled writer and speaker, and that is very clear in this document. he makes a point to share - almost to the point of oversharing - the situation between him and his then-wife to explain why he was associating with fans, and then moves past that to discuss his tumultuous personal life. however, he does not address the question of any age differences between him and these fans, and just refers to it as “two consenting adults ... getting to know each other.” 
although this all seems well and good, one huge spanner was thrown into geoff’s story here; this tweet from michelle vologs, which states that ryan explicitly told her that geoff was engaging sexually with fans, and possibly knew some of ryan’s stories himself. notice that the anonymous replier, who is concurring with what michelle said, is the same anonymous twitter account who contacted ryan and adam on september 18th about their nudes leak - several WEEKS before the news dropped publicly. 
although originally i was willing to believe what geoff had to say, as there was little conflicting evidence, michelle’s statement gives me extreme pause. if geoff was sleeping with enough fans that ryan knew about it, the chances of ryan not having mentioned his own experiences is very low - and on top of that, ryan has little to no reason to lie about this, as telling the truth would have actually been detrimental to his career, on the off-chance someone blabbed and it made its way back to geoff. so i am highly skeptical of the whole document.
WEEKS 3-11 (october 19th to january 2nd):
complete radio silence from ryan and adam both for a little under three months. as ryan was stated to have hired a pr agent and/or a lawyer amidst the initial scandal, its pretty easy to surmise that he was advised to just shut up and let things die down, and therefore did so. adam had gone quiet for a much longer time, so it was assumed he would not speak out again. however, people still felt that ryan was likely to try and make a comeback eventually. and, well...
WEEK 11, DAY 1 (january 3rd):
freckles, one of ryans former mods, posts this tweet containing this statement from ryan to his remaining subscribers, thanking them for sticking around and vaguely addressing “what a tough year its been” for him. unsurprisingly, this is met with IMMEDIATE retribution, as the message served as a reminder that a) many people forgot to unsubscribe and unfollow in the initial situation, and b) that ryan was still getting paid by twitch the entire time he was being ousted. this, of course, led to calls for ryan to be banned from twitch completely, given that it was his main vehicle for finding and grooming his victims.
it is unknown why he decided to do this, as it is transparently very stupid, but i think the entire series of events has made it quite clear that ryan is not only unintelligent, but EXTREMELY entitled - ryan couldnt last even a week into the new year before trying to lay the groundwork to return to his career, whereas adam managed to go quiet much earlier and remain that way for a much longer time, to let things cool off more significantly.
WEEK 11, DAY 6 (january 8th):
early in the morning, the owner of kiwifarms, null, posts a thread stating that adam kovic has reached out demanding the removal of his and jess kovic’s nude photos and videos. (reminder that i will not be linking to any threads on kf directly - you will have to seek those out for yourself.) 
recall that, in the initial days of the scandal, the vast majority of the attention was on adam instead of ryan - and that was because of the sheer magnitude of his leaked photos, as well as the question of his wifes consent to their distribution (as most of the pictures/videos of her were taken from behind; with the benefit of hindsight, we can say fairly safely that she probably did not consent to the distribution, and possibly not their being taken either). 
im not exactly sure on the legality of the situation, as null did not leak the photos himself but is allowing them to be hosted on his website, and adam himself would likely be found guilty of revenge porn due to him having been the one to send pictures of his wife without her permission in the first place. as for the pictures of adam himself, i would assume that null is somehow protected from prosecution or else i believe he would have already taken them down. the morality of leaving them up is EXTREMELY questionable, and i would say it probably is tipping over the line into morally wrong, but morality holds very little sway legally and so adam may not actually have any recourse here.
WEEK 13, DAY 4 (january 20th)
in the afternoon, its confirmed by twitter account @streamerbans that ryan haywood has been permabanned from twitch, and has lost his partnership with the website as well. this is obviously SUPER fucking late, as the crux of the scandal happened months ago (in october), but better late than never, i suppose.
his ban seems to be a natural consequence of two things: the obvious catalyst is his VERY bold message to his subscriber, but beyond that, twitch has also updated their rules and codes of conduct to address their handling of sexual harassment on their platform, from fans and streamers alike, and ryans actions fall very clearly over the line of acceptability. while its unknown whether ryans actions have anything to do with the drafting of some of the new rules - the rule against “attempting to coerce others into sexual favors via bribes” specifically seems VERY pointed at him - it is likely that twitch was already drafting these rules before the situation occurred, and ryans doings simply expedited their being put into effect.
in any case, the only sad part of this is how long it took; ryan was getting free money off of his fans who hadnt or couldnt unsubscribe for three months before this ban and the loss of his partnership were put into effect, which is very upsetting, but there isnt much that can be done about it now.
(JAN 30 EDIT: as you can tell, the situation has severely petered out from where it began; originally there were new updates and more information on a daily, almost hourly basis, and so it was necessary to break the story up day by day to get everything. since that is no longer the case, i will not be filling in any gaps between time periods; if something else happens two weeks from now, i will not try to fill in the two week silence, and will just skip to the next big event. apologies if this makes timelines confusing, but ive added weeks AND days to each event to make them easier to follow, so hopefully that helps.
any further updates to this post will go here, to keep the timeline together. everything below this line is optional reading, but i do highly recommend it, as it provides a lot of background context.)
-----
MISCELLANEOUS INFO
this is just a section for anything i think is contextually relevant that doesnt really fit anywhere else, or stuff that is not confirmed but highly suspicious. most of this will provide elucidating background for everything that went down, but none of it is necessary to read. 
LOOKING BACK AT RYAN’S CONTENT:
because of how blindsiding these events have been, people began questioning if there were any tells that we as viewers missed over the years, and began going through old videos and other content to find anything of interest. ill link any relevant videos here with a brief summary of why theyre noteworthy:
- this video features ryan encouraging fans to do “whatever [they] need to get [themselves] to finish” (in reference to masturbating), and when trevor states that “there are laws that constrain us,” ryan says that “as long as you do it [in your head], it’s fine.” here he is clearly justifying his own actions to himself.
- this clip of ryan singing “black or white” by michael jackson, but he changes the lyrics to, “thing about my baby, it dont matter if youre black or white - or 12, or 9, or 8.” yeah.... i dont really need to say much else about that i dont think
- this post about ryan’s cover letter from his initial application to rt. the comment about “that sexy, deep voice that ladies love” wouldve been gross even without context, but with it, it appears that playing casanova with fans may have been his intent from the beginning.
- another video in which ryan “misses his flight because of uber.” he states that he missed his flight because the uber driver who was supposed to arrive didnt want to come and asked him to cancel the drive, forcing him to wait for another driver to be available. while they dont say explicitly, i am fairly certain hes talking about returning from pax west in seattle, which took place in early september - around the time that many of these stories (like tessa’s and michelle’s) take place. more likely than not, he fully lied about this story and was actually late because he was hooking up with a fan.
WHY 2017?:
if you’re paying attention to dates, you may notice that almost all of these events transpired - or began - in 2017. there are a few theories as to why, but ultimately i think the answer is quite simple; 2017 is when ryan made an instagram account, and is likely when he had the most direct access to fans. as was noted, he has had twitter for years and his snapchat was created probably a year or two before, and yet there are little to no stories taking place before 2017. most likely, his making an instagram account saw an influx of messages from fans, primarily teenage girls - a huge demographic on insta - and gave him a platform to begin the grooming process without anyone suspecting him.
CONJECTURE PT. 1: THE MEGGENING:
people began to speculate if ryan and meg are/were having an affair, as they spent quite a bit of time together for work, went on a trip to japan alone together, and have been the center of many a “joke” regarding their relationship, to the point of it sincerely bothering gavin (meg’s boyfriend). there are several clips of the achievement hunter guys making jokes about ryan and meg sleeping together behind gavin’s back, but heres one clip of them doing so with gavin in the room. notice his genuinely uncomfortable reaction.
initially i was ready to write this off as “women evil” conjecture, but honestly after looking into it a bit, i can sincerely see what people are talking about. as i said earlier, i find meg’s statement incredibly suspicious - the fact that she explicitly denies any knowledge of ryan’s doings even though that SHOULD go without saying, and that her message doesnt actually say anything negative about ryan or what he did at all, makes me feel extremely wary of her. 
OCT. 12 EDIT: either yesterday or the day before, meg privated most of the highlights from her japan trip with ryan, but a few of them were luckily archived. here they are, if you’re curious: japan #1, japan #2, japan #3.
CONJECTURE PT. 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO:
in early february, its discovered that ryan haywoods home is up for sale, and has been for quite a while. (i will not be linking the listing for obvious reasons.) the house had been on the market for 63 days at that time, placing its initial listing date in very early december - that would only be two months after the initial story broke. on top of that, with the inclusion of the amount of time it takes to find a realtor and begin the selling process, the selling of the house was likely initiated in mid-to-late november, if not sooner.
there are multiple potential explanations for the selling of the house, of course - its possible they could no longer afford the upkeep due to ryan losing his highly lucrative job, or its possible that they moved to escape harassment from others. i find both of these fairly implausible for different reasons: the former because ryans wife also has a fairly high-paying job, and unless ryan is a complete dumbass, they certainly have enough money saved up to remain in that house if they wanted to. in addition, i find the latter implausible because its highly unlikely anyone was going to their house directly, as i think ryan would definitely have played the victim publicly over something like that.
the most obvious answer to me, given how quickly the house was put up for sale, is that the two have begun divorce proceedings and thus sold the house. finances as a motivator make no sense to me due to the speed with which the house was put up - its highly unlikely they blew through all of their savings in a month - and if they were staying together as a couple, it wouldnt make sense to vacate their home for no reason. of course, this is complete conjecture (thus the header LMAO), but it is interesting to note as it comes into direct contradiction with ryans claims of going to couples therapy with his wife.
RYAN’S TACTICS:
due to the number of accusations against ryan now, a pretty clear picture is painted of him and how he operates. a few things become clear when you put all of this information together. lets break it down bit by bit.
first: the girls. as i mentioned before, michelle notes in her video that ryan seemed to target young girls who were either insecure about themselves/their bodies, or had mental health issues. that pattern does seem to hold up, as all seven of the major accusers (tessa, michelle, leigh, kayla, katie, anon, and megashiny) openly discuss dealing with one or both of these issues in their respective stories. it’s almost undeniable that ryan pursued these types of girls on purpose in order to manipulate them more easily, as well as to have plausible deniability when confronted about them - a phrase which multiple girls have used in reference to him.
second: the method. ryan seems to have consistently used the exact same method of manipulating each of the girls. it goes pretty much like this:
- in early conversations, he is sweet and invested in the girl. once they are a bit more comfortable, he begins to “flirt,” making sexual comments and “jokes” to slowly but surely convince them to sext and exchange nudes with him.
- at the same time, he is sure to tell everyone he knows (mods and the like) about how “crazy” his girl of the week is, guaranteeing that she will not be believed should she try to tell someone what is going on between them
- once the conversations turn sexual, his demeanor changes completely, and he starts to become distant. conversations with him become infrequent to make the girl feel miserable when he is away and over the moon when he decides to talk to her, thus maintaining the constant star-struck feeling and ensuring that she is always just a bit more eager to do what he asks in order to keep him around
- he makes sure to litter conversations with comments about how much he loves his wife and kids, thus ensuring that the girl feels too guilty to let anyone know whats going on at the risk of damaging his relationship with his family
- once he has the girls backed into this corner, he begins reaching out only to talk about sex and to schedule in-person hook ups, and will not talk to the girls otherwise. this goes on over and over until he gets bored or the girl cuts contact with him.
he is consistent with this “defaming, denial, degrading” method, as we can see every single girl make reference to him treating them in the same way. from this, we can conclude one thing - he has a system. he has done this before, and he knows it works. even the girl with the most different experience, katie, was clearly being groomed and sexually coerced with the promise of payment, but when she did not budge ryan switched over to straight up financial manipulation, forcing her to take the money - and therefore making her financially beholden to him - and threatening her with cut contact should she not accept.
ryan also tried to isolate katie from her best friend, kayla, in an effort to prevent her from noticing that he was manipulating and grooming kayla for sex as well, and given that kayla was bullied so thoroughly in HIS community that he was one of the only people she felt safe around, it’s no wonder why he refused to deal with the situation when trick brought it up to him. these are straight up abuser tactics, and while i hesitate to throw that word around, it is clear that ryan is a dangerous, emotionally manipulative sexual predator, who specifically targeted young girls with little to no experience with sex and relationships. he is disgusting, and cruel, and i pray that he experiences the pain he inflicted on these girls ten times over.
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kicksaddictny · 3 years
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Kicksaddict Sneakerhead PROFILES Interview Series: @CakedaGawd
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After a long Hiatus, we’ve returned! Our popular Profile series has been requested almost on a daily basis (Thanks for the tweets, dms and emails). We were even threatened! (Thanks by the way).
Cake The Gawd! This one was so much fun. Tap in.
Where are you from? Brooklyn, NY born in Crown Heights raised in East Flatbush.
How long have you been collecting sneakers? I was introduced to sneakers in 1991 but I started collecting for myself in 98.
What’s your favorite sneaker and why? Air Jordan 6 Infrared. It's the shoe Michael was wearing when he won his first championship, and to me just it’s just the most beautiful Jordan shoe to date! The silhouette is unmatched, it is timeless, and no matter how many times it is retroed I will buy it!
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Besides your hometown, what is the best city for sneakerheads that you know of? Why? I would say LA 100% !! It is a vibe out there. I am part of a sneaker group and 75% of the people in there are from LA. They really about the culture they know their shit and they are fresh as fuck too.
Do you collect just for collecting or do you collect and rock? I collect and rock. That is why I double up on certain shoes.. Some kicks you gotta have for store and show but some you just have to rock them!
What sneaker got you into the sneaker game? I cannot pinpoint one thing, it is so many things. It was Music, my parents introducing me to Nike, my older cousin, basketball, the dope boys around the way, and my 3rd grade crush and her cousin who both had Aqua 8's. (LOL) I cannot just say 1 thing because they all had a significant part in it.
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What are your thoughts on these fake celebrity sneakerheads? I hate them all! All of these dudes just get perks, some of them do not even know the shoes. That shit really gets under my skin. Showing off shoes that they get and not even knowing the name or numbers of the shoes, creating their own names. Shit is sickening. S/O to the Sneaker Gawd Wale !
How do you feel about the Off white collabs? I liked the first round of the collabs. With the Presto's, Air maxes, Blazers, and Jordan 1's. I think after that it should've been left alone. But I can respect what they are doing over there. I just won my first pair of Off-White's with the Lot 50 joint.
If you could wear only one sneaker for the rest of your life, what would it be? Air Jordan 3 Black Cement. Yes 6's are my favorite of all time but the Black Cement 3's just go with EVERYTHING!
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What advice would you give as far as storing and preservation of your sneakers? Wear your kicks man. I store and rock! I get it, wanting to save shoes but putting them away and never rocking them, when you finally do ya it’s separating and crumbling. In order for your kicks to last they gotta be worn anyway. Unless you're truly just on some collecting only for show vibes.
What is the most you’ve ever spent on a pair of sneakers? $900... I was able to land Black and Red and Royal 1's from 2001 together. A friend of mine had them and said he couldn't think of anyone else. I had literally just started my new job. A chunk of my first check went to that pick up.
Have you ever waited in line for a pair of kicks? I waited in line once in my life for shoes and swore I would never do it again. It was for the 2001 True Blue 3's. I waited online at like 7 in the morning at Kings Plaza. LMAO I said this will never happen again. I didn't have the patience for it. I do not know how ppl used to do that shit or camp for kicks. I was there for 1 hour and I was like this is ridiculous.
You're also a photographer, how long have you been taking photos? I have been taking photos since 2011 but officially became a photographer in 2013.
How do sneakers play a role in your photography? That is a great question because I didn't want the 2 to mix at all. Because I'm a scenery and landscape photographer. But I got into photography because of sneakers. No offense to anyone but a bunch of these  "influencers" get on IG with their DSLR cameras, take some on foot shots and call themselves "Photographers". 90% of them do not even understand lighting. I didn't wanna be one of those guys because I actually live this and study it. But recently I just started letting it be that and owning it. I am nice with this photography shit when it comes to sneakers. I have a deep connection with shoes and I love incorporating that into my art. I thank my wife for that. I told her I don't wanna be just another sneaker photographer and she said to me who said you have to be ?! I took that and ran with it. Off-White just recently featured some of my pictures on their Instagram.
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I remember you saying you're a sneaker enthusiast, what is the difference between that and a sneakerhead? An enthusiast really studies sneakers. Sneakerheads just love sneakers like it ain't really about the history and all that for them. They just love shoes because it is cool and makes them feel good. Us Enthusiasts are invested. Things matter like knowing years of a shoe. For example, an enthusiast would look at a pair of Jordan's like Taxi 12's, We know Michael wore those in the 1996 - 97 season, but we also know that Martin gave away a pair on his show for the Christmas episode to the kid who had holes in shoes. They are tied to iconic moments. A sneakerhead may love Bordeaux 7's because they are dope looking shoes. Where for me it's that Michael Jordan wore those in a video with Michael Jackson and Kris Kross in the 92 Jam video. MJ and MJ in a video with Kris Kross, do you know what that did to my childhood?! Give you one more example that is not even Michael Jordan related. Piggy backing off of Kris Kross,The Patrick Ewing’s were one of my favorite kicks growing up besides seeing Pat play in them one of my favorite Hip Hop covers of all time is "Totally Krossed Out" and Kris Kross is wearing both colorways. So you see what I mean there is so much tied to it with being an enthusiast. This is just my opinion though some may not agree so don't shoot me! (Ha)
From the time you started collecting up until now, would you say that the sneaker game changed for the best or the worst? I have been collecting for 20 plus years now. I have seen the game at it's best, I have seen it die, I have seen it revive, and now I am witnessing the death of it again. The sneaker game is disgusting right now, and I honestly do not think it will ever recover. It really saddens me. It is a popularity and money contest right now.
Does pricing affect your collection? Hell No! And I hate that some people are trying to make this the norm. IDGAF if you paid $500 - $2000 for a pair, It doesn't mean shit.  The narrative is getting outta hand.
What does the word “Hypebeast” mean to you? Hypebeast is a person that only buys shit for status and popularity. They cannot form their own opinion about shit. They have to wear and cop items based on what every celeb is wearing or whatever these Social Media "Influencers" are saying is hot! It is not only sneaker related either. N*ggaz were hypebeasting for PS5 last year..
What are your thoughts on the females in the sneaker game? They are the best! I wish we had a Sneaker union and it was only run by females! The men in this game are annoying and so over the top. It is so bad that they feel the need to compete with women. The men get shoes just to show off to one another. Like what type of shit is that? The females are cool. I had a dude on twitter tell me women don't know the value of a shoe let alone about the shoe. The men feel like they always gotta try to shit on the women. The women are just trying to be part of the culture and enjoy it. And they shouldn't have to try to be part of something that is open to anyone who is willing to be invested and understand the culture.
Any advice for a young kid coming up in the sneaker game? Wear what you like! Respect the game and the people who have been doing it before you. Because this new generation of sneakerheads are little entitled dicks. No respect whatsoever!! I don't care about Travis Scott shoes. Without Jordan being who he is Travis wouldn't have a Jordan silhouette to collaborate with! Same with Off-White. These silhouettes were here before these guys. Say know your history and pay homage!! BUT STAY humble.
See I follow you and I'm loving the way you include your daughter in your work, what does that mean to you? Man, it is beautiful!!!! Without even trying she is invested in the culture. Both photography and shoes. Myself and my wife are both heavy into photography, art, music, sneakers, and clothes. My daughter is into all the same things but we are letting it be her own experience. We are not forcing anything on her. We want her to enjoy being a child and whatever things she picks up from us along the way is just a bonus. But I love shooting her, and I love when she asks myself and her mother "do we like her fit". It is truly a blessing man!
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All photos by CAKEDAGAWD
Follow : https://twitter.com/CakedaGawd 
https://www.instagram.com/whatsinthesyrup/
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tabloidtoc · 3 years
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National Examiner, April 19
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Tony Bennett's brave last days
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Page 2: Stars with Mad Skills -- they became fast experts for plum roles -- Daniel Day-Lewis, Timothee Chalamet, Natalie Portman, Ryan Gosling, Jamie Foxx
Page 3: Adrien Brody, Margot Robbie, Bryan Cranston, Shia LaBeouf, Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert Downey Jr., Tom Cruise
Page 4: Susan Sarandon's roles and costumes
Page 7: Be Prepared for the Worst -- know these lifesaving tips before a crisis happens
Page 8: Lonely Stefanie Powers never wants to date because she still has gotten over lover William Holden's sudden death, even though it'll be 40 years ago this November -- the former star of '80s TV classic Hart to Hart, who's now 78, considers Holden the one true love of her life, even though she's been married twice to others and had a long-term relationship after the Hollywood legend's tragic death and she can't imagine being with anyone else at this stage in her life when Bill's memory is so sacred in her mind and his death still haunts her to this day, and it will only get worse as the anniversary approaches -- Holden, then 63, died at home in Santa Monica on November 12, 1981, of massive bleeding after falling and striking his head on a piece of furniture while heavily intoxicated -- it rips her apart to this day thinking how he must have suffered all alone in his apartment, bleeding to death -- the pair had a decade-long, passionate affair that lasted until his demise, which led her to carry on their mutual passion for wildlife conservation and Stefanie founded the William Holden Wildlife Foundation and is still the director -- she's tried being in other relationships, but it's been more about companionship than anything else and she doesn't have the motivation to date when the best man has already come and gone
Page 9: Vax Hacks -- avoid scammers who prey on fears of COVID-19
Page 10: His first day on the job as an honorary cop, Jeremiah met the other guys in blue and was the proud guest of honor at a special swearing-in ceremony just for him, and he's only five years old
Page 11: Important minerals for your body -- why you need zinc and potassium and how to get them
Page 12: Rude Awakening -- stars who don't mind their manners -- Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Christian Bale, Rachael Ray
Page 13: Sean Penn, Ashton Kutcher, Robert Pattinson, Russell Crowe, Cameron Diaz, Bruce Willis
Page 14: Dear Tony -- America's Top Psychic Healer Tony Leggett -- useful lessons learned from the pandemic
Page 15: Get well soon wishes go out to Chevy Chase, who just came out of the hospital after a five-week stay for heart issues -- in 2018, the star was diagnosed with alcohol cardiomyopathy, a weakening of the heart muscle caused by excessive drinking; he had dealt with his drinking back in 2016, when he entered the Hazelden Clinic to receive treatment for alcoholism
Page 16: Even though the century mark looms just around the corner, Betty White still radiates joy -- calling herself the luckiest broad on two feet, the 99-year-old Hollywood legend shares her advice for living a long and peaceful life -- she says her life is divided absolutely in half: half animals and half show business and you can't ask for better than two things you love the most
Page 18: When a California man won $145,000 on Wheel of Fortune, it turned out to be good fortune for a lot of people as he donated his entire winnings to the charity Uplift Family Services and Los Angeles Regional Food Bank, whose services support thousands of families
Page 19: These seniors are literally beating the coronavirus -- with 99 percent of them vaccinated, the 700 elderly residents of the Westminster-Canterbury on the Chesapeake Bay senior living community in Virginia Beach held a party and they had a lot to celebrate
Page 20: Cover Story -- Tony Bennett is facing his brave last days as he battles Alzheimer's disease at the age of 94 -- the singer was diagnosed in 2016, but kept the terrible illness secret until recently and has not yet experienced common Alzheimer's symptoms like episodes of terror, rage or depression but the disease has progressed -- for now, wife Susan Crow and the oldest of Tony's four kids, 67-year-old Danny from his first marriage, are caring for him while he lives in the couple's New York City apartment
Page 22: Recycle your baubles, bangles and beads -- bored with your beaded necklaces? Blase abut those old bangles? If your costume jewelry collection no longer inspires, there are many brilliant ways to give it new life or earn you some cash
Page 24: The internet's newest fitness star is 102-year-old Julia Fulkerson, who had a ball participating in her great-grandson Brody's virtual gym class
Page 25: Young Darius Brown has a mission in life: to make shelter dogs look as spiffy as he can so they'll get adopted and to do that, he provides the canines with slews of adorable bowties that he sews himself -- five years ago, when Darius was eight, his sister Dazhai taught him to sew and the passion was good for him because he'd been diagnosed with speech and fine-motor skills that the craft improved over time -- he says he saw how happy the people at the shelter were to get the bowties and how much the dogs liked them, and he decided to make more and he came up with a goal to give bowties to an animal shelter in every state -- so far, he's sewn a whopping 600 of the canine accessories himself, and helped dozens of pooches find forever homes and he especially likes to focus his attention on older animals and pets with disabilities, since they're the toughest to find homes for and the shelter directors say Darius' efforts have made a huge difference in the life of hundreds of pups
Page 26: Summer Horoscope 2021
Page 28: It's not just for the birds -- tips for watching our fine feathered friends
Page 32: Reverse Gear -- walking backward is good for you -- here's something new to try the next time you go out for a walk: do it backward -- it may sound silly, but health experts say there are mental and physical benefits to the practice, but go slowly at first to avoid injuries
* If you're always putting the needs of others before your own, you could be at risk for compassion fatigue, a condition that can physically and mentally drain you of time and energy -- compassion fatigue is a state of emotional overwhelm that is constant and persistent, once in this state of emotional exhaustion, it becomes difficult to empathize with those they help and essentially, it's empathy burnout
Page 34: Grandads Before 50! No rocking chairs for these grandpas -- take a look at these celebs who had their grandchildren before their first gray hair -- Jim Carrey, James Brolin, Donny Osmond, Mick Jagger, Pierce Brosnan, Charlie Sheen
Page 40: The Element of Earth -- earth is the second of the four elements: fire, earth, air and water
Page 42: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Drew Barrymore
Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Dakota Johnson and her parents Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson (picture), Kristen Stewart as Princess Diana in the film Spencer (picture), Tina Turner admits she instantly fell for husband Erwin Bach in 1986 when they first met at an airport in Germany, Bindi Irwin gave birth to daughter Grace Warrior Irwin Powell, Michael Douglas is still going strong after 5 decades as an actor and loves what he does for a living, George Segal passed away due to complications from bypass surgery, Jessica Walter died in her sleep
Page 45: Eddie Murphy is inducted into NAACP Image Awards Hall of Fame (picture), Diana Ross performs at the Segerstrom Center for the Arts in California (picture), Mario Lopez helps christen the tables at Mohegan Sun Casino in Las Vegas (picture), Ann-Margret and Julianne Hough attend the Family Film Awards where the redhead received a lifetime achievement award (picture), James Middleton who is the brother of Duchess Kate says he and fiancee Alizee Thevenet are done with city living, Justin Bieber's mom didn't like his newest tattoo saying Don't you have enough yet?, Zac Efron was spotted flying to Sydney with Aussie girlfriend Vanessa Valladares, Taraji P. Henson asked fans for prayers for her pet pooch that was suffering from post-surgery complications but he unfortunately died
Page 46: A lottery winner in Tennessee was feeling like a million bucks, until he realized he'd lost his precious ticket but he didn't give up: he retraced his steps until he found the ticket again
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alipeeps · 4 years
Text
New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game
Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D
There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).
[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]
I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:
So... without further ado:
1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)! 
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2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)
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3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)
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4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.  
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5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).
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6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.
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7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).
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8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”
I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.
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8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....
It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.
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9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D 
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10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)
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11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D
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12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.
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12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.
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13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.
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14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).
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15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.
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16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped! 
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17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D 
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18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.
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19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!
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20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D
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21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!
He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D
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21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.
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22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.
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23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine. 
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24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D
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Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!
I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy​, @arlothia​, @howdydowdy​, @thepromiseweheldforlife​ and @the-wandering-whumper​!
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chiaki-translation · 4 years
Text
Spring Troupe 7th Play: Magician’s Pure Love Translation Ch5-6
Next chapter is up~ The story is good so I’m quite hooked actually...
Ch1-2 / / Ch3-4 / / Ch5-6 / / Ch7-8 / / Ch9-10 / / Epilogue
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Disclaimer:
A3! is owned by Liber’s Entertainment
Translator’s Note:
I have difficulties translating the name so please bear with it. It’s whatever I can make out from the Kanji/Kana of the character’s name.
UPDATE: Edited the name through feedbacks! I like feedback so feel free to DM me/comment if you have any!
Director:
Hey, Masumi-kun, I have something to talk to you about, is it alright.
Masumi:
?
Director:
Actually, my husband’s transfer has been decided. I need to move out to a faraway place.
It seems that I have to quit the theatre troupe too…
Masumi:
--
Director:
I’m sorry.
But, even if we’re far apart, I’ll always support everyone.
About the troupe, I’ll leave it to you.
Masumi:
--
(No, wait… If you’re not here by my side, my acting too…)
<Shifts to Lounge>
Sakuya:
I’ve made copies of the script!
Director:
Alright, let’s get to the reading!
(It’s a story about a pair of magician master and pupil, who visited a mansion to hold a magician show, but they ended up getting involved with a mess caused by a phantom thief…
It started with a weird atmosphere, but followed up with a bittersweet ending…)
Itaru:
Senpai’s role, the master of the suspicious-looking magician, Uso Petén, really suits him.
Tsuzuru:
We decided the role beforehand after all.
This time, I wrote it with the image of the other members in mind as the basis.
The protagonist magician, Suga Kiel will be Masumi.
Petén’s old friend, the puppeteer, Kigustudou, will be Itaru-san.
The millionaire owner of the mansion, Ritchie Marney will be Citron-san.
The hardworking servant, Koma, will be Sakuya.
Then, I really want to add a role of a detective in the development so I will be playing as Detective Kanagi… I’ll do my best to study his role properly.
Director:
It suits everyone perfectly!
Sakuya:
Koma’s character sounds a bit complicated, but I’ll do my best!
Citron:
It seems that I’m going to play another NG celeb!
Even the name sounds like a nasty high-up celeb!
Itaru:
Well, you’re the most millionaire like here.
Chikage:
Yep, there’s no other choice.
Citron:
Oh, I won’t be playing the role because I’m a noble overflowing with dignity!
Tsuzuru:
Are you bragging.
Citron:
Masumi, change role with me!
Tsuzuru:
Wait, he’s the lead!
Masumi:
Citron:
…I guess I have no choice, I’ll surrender~
Director:
(Masumi-kun, as I thought, he looks a bit weird…)
Then, let’s get into the script reading, make sure to build the image of the role you will be playing as.
From tomorrow onwards, we will start reading together.
Sakuya:
Yes.
Tsuzuru:
Alright.
<Shifts to Garden at Night>
Masumi:
Citron:
*approaching slowly*
On the wall, I’m Minnie, but actually I’m Mary.
Masumi:
…It’s Citron behind me right.
Citron:
On the floor, I’m Morris, on the ceiling, I’m a flying squirrel…
Masumi:
Why does it suddenly become a flying squirrel.
What business do you have with me?
Citron:
I’m curious about how you read the script just now.
Maybe, were you empty sizing with the ending of Kiel’s first love?
Masumi:
… Empathize?
Citron:
That’s it!
I thought you became nervous because of that.
Masumi:
… That’s actually, something that I requested from Tsuzuru.
Citron:
It’s your request?
Why though?
Masumi:
What is love for you, Citron?
Citron:
… Love, huh?
<<… The thing about love is, it always involves both good and evil>>
Masumi:
…What?
Citron:
It’s a saying from an old philosopher.
Love is the strongest force, one that will pull you forward, further than any others.
I’ve seen you, Masumi, always for Director’s love, trying your best to move forward.
I’ll say it to you now, but…
I’m actually quite jealous of you.
When I was in Zahra, I couldn’t even tell Guy or Tangerine that I love them directly.
I have to choose the safest option, considering my position.
That’s why, Masumi who always acts by following your heart looks so bright to me.
Of course, it’s possible that other members think the same too.
Masumi:
Citron:
But, I’m sure everyone thinks that Masumi’s one directional thinking leads you to a good place.
Masumi:
…By the way, why did you call out to me during the flagship performance.
From now on, I’ll try to know more about everyone else…
Citron:
Masumi is a man who will move for the sake of someone you love regardless of any percussion, I think it will be good if you can direct that love to everyone else.
Masumi:
Percussion… repercussion?
Citron:
You’re right. Masumi’s love, if you direct it to everyone else, I’m sure you will be able to get along with everyone.
Masumi:
My love, since now and always will only belong to the Director.
Citron:
Do you really think so?
Nowadays, there are times that I can feel Masumi’s love.
Masumi:
That’s just your excessive self-awareness.
Citron:
During the Quartet performance, it’s because of Masumi that I was able to express my love for Tangerine directly.
I’m really grateful for that.
To repay the favor from that time, I will support Masumi with all I have this time!
I’ll shower Masumi with my love!
Masumi:
You’re annoying.
Citron:
Love is the strongest force.
For the sake of love, you can break your common sense and do crazy stuffs.
Masumi:
Love is, strongest force…
“Love is the strongest force, one that will pull you forward, further than any  others.” By Citron
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<End of Chapter 5>
Chikage:
It’s a private party in the mansion, huh.
Masumi:
Then, will it be a Close-up performance?
Itaru:
Close-up?
Masumi:
It’s when you do the magic trick right in front of the audience, usually for a small amount of people.
Itaru:
Ah, I see.
It’s a private residence this time, but there would be a small hall there.
The client is Ritchie Marney…
He ranked very high in the list of real estate king in the magazine every single year…
Mr Marney is a connoisseur, he created an art museum on his premises to display his collections from all over the world.
Every year, he would open his house for 3 days 3 nights to showcase those collections, it seems that he called us to be in that demonstration.
Chikage:
It sounds like a good business. Take the job, Kiel.
Masumi:
Please don’t just selfishly decide like that.
Chikage:
I’m the president of this office. I have the authority to.
<Short Time Skip>
Director:
Alright, that’s it for today.
Masumi-kun, do you have anything to say?
Masumi:
Everyone, I think you all did a good job interpreting your role.
After that, all the characters in this performance are kinda suspicious, I thought the atmosphere is good too, but I want to try showing something like a gap.
Chikage:
I see.
Sakuya:
I see, I think it’s a good idea!
Director:
(Masumi-kun really grows up. He doesn’t look that enthusiastic being the leader of this performance, but he’s looking at everyone properly.)
Masumi:
Then, if nothing else, that’s it for today.
Director:
Ah, Masumi-kun--
Masumi:
--
Director:
(Why do I feel like he’s running away from me…
Is he maybe avoiding me?)
Citron:
Director, somehow awe walk with Masumi huh?
Director:
Awe walk…?
Itaru:
Awkward?
Director:
Ah, I see!
Tsuzuru:
I thought he’s been talking normally recently.
Director:
Me too, I don’t remember doing anything that will make Masumi-kun avoid me…
I’ll look at the situation again and try talking to him.
Then, I’ll go off first.
Sakuya:
Good work today!
Chikage:
Itaru:
Tsuzuru:
…Is it going to be alright?
Itaru:
It’s not that it’s actually caused by Director-san.
Citron:
I talked to Masumi yesterday.
He’s been worried about something.
Chikage:
About love, is it.
Tsuzuru:
Me too, I received some consultation from Masumi.
Sakuya:
Me too.
Citron:
About Masumi, I heard he requested for his character to lost his first love in this script.
Sakuya:
Eh, why did he make such request…
Tsuzuru:
About that… It seems that he had a dream where he’s not together with Director.
Itaru:
So he’s afraid of getting his heart broken and he make a return to ‘negative mode’.
Tsuzuru:
Is it because I told him that he has to support his feelings when subjected to a sad experience.
Maybe he wanted to experience how broken heart feels first by playing it in a role…
Itaru:
What kind of Maso-play is that…
Chikage:
For Masumi, Director-san is his first love after all, so he has never experienced a broken heart before.
Tsuzuru:
That’s why, I think Masumi wants to know how the pain feel, doesn’t he.
Itaru:
Then, this role will be a hard one for him.
Chikage:
He seemed to be normal during the reading just now, I wonder what would happen from now on.
Sakuya:
When it becomes hard for him, let’s all support him with all we have.
Citron:
You’re right.
I intend to do very much so!
Tsuzuru:
You’re right.
Chikage:
I’ll do what I can as the co-lead.
Tsuzuru:
By the way, Sakuya, did you recommend Masumi to hear everyone else’s opinion about love?
Sakuya:
Ah, yes! If it’s only me, I think it won’t be enough…
After all, there are different forms of love, maybe when he heard from everyone, he would be able to understand it better.
Chikage:
You mean, he has been walking around to listen to everyone?
Itaru:
Are you serious.
Citron:
I already answered him!
Sakuya:
So next should be Itaru-san or Chikage-san isn’t it.
Itaru:
…Love stories huh. Well, as his senior in life, I guess I have a bit of story to tell…?
Chikage:
Itaru:
How about you, senpai…
Chikage:
Maybe he won’t come to find me.
I’ve already told him that I have no love stories to tell.
Don’t expect too much from me.
I will think of another way to support Masumi.
Sakuya:
But, if Masumi-kun really come to listen to your perception of love, please answer him properly when the time comes.
Chikage:
…If he comes to listen, right.
<Shifts to Chikage/Itaru’s Room>
Itaru:
… I should stop levelling up this skill soon, the next will be…
?
Masumi:
Itaru:
It’s you, Masumi. You need anything?
Masumi:
…That game, let me try it again.
Itaru:
That game?
This one?
Masumi:
Not this one. The one we played during Alice, the one where a character that looks like Director appears.
Itaru:
Ah~ That one.
You can sit there and wait. I’ll get it out now.
Masumi:
Itaru:
There it is. This one right?
“B5! Best! Beauty! BigBang! Bishoujo!”
Masumi:
Right.
Itaru:
This opening is so nostalgic.
Here, your controller.
Masumi:
Is it possible to lost your love at the end here?
Itaru:
… is that, for your role study?
Masumi:
Yeah.
Itaru:
Then, first of all, let’s try to do the Director character’s route using the guide, choose exactly as I told you.
Masumi:
Understood.
Itaru:
The first one is A. Next is B
<Short Time Skip>
Itaru:
From here on you’re in the Director character’s route, what are you going to do now?
Masumi:
Itaru:
If you want to lose her love, you can just make her hate you.
Game Character:
“This time, do you want to go to the aquarium together with me?”
Masumi:
Then, this option should be…
“B: I don’t like fish”
Itaru:
You’re ri—Ah, wait, I customized this part.
The correct answer should be A.
Masumi:
“A: I want to see the dolphin show!”
…Understood.
Game Character:
“Sorry, I don’t like dolphin. As I thought let’s cancel the aquarium plan.”
Itaru:
See.
Masumi:
You’re right…
<Short Time Skip>
Itaru:
With this, you’re probably going to get dumped.
Game Character:
“Thank you for always getting along with me, from now on let’s stay as friends!”
Itaru:
See, there you go.
Masumi:
…Are you, the master of lost love?
Itaru:
Let’s leave it as the master of love.
So, what do you feel after actually experiencing lost love?
Masumi:
This is a game after all, so it doesn’t mean anything.
Itaru:
That’s not true.
You can learn a lot of things about life by playing games.
Even for me, I’ve learned a lot from playing games.
It will sound like something Tsuzuru said but…
Games and stories are like the same thing.
Immerse yourself in the game storyline and experience life in the eyes of someone else, your heart will be moved.
Afterwards, when you experience something in real life, whatever scenario it is, you would have known how it feels.
Masumi:
… I was lonely, I was sad.
Even if it’s just a game, as I thought it’s hard.
But, I absolutely cannot give up.
Itaru:
…That sounds just like you, Masumi.
Masumi:
What is love for you, Itaru?
Itaru:
Uh…
…Love is, sometimes an impossible game.
Masumi:
Ha?
Itaru:
Without looking at walkthrough, there will definitely be routes that you don’t understand the first time you see it, things like when you need a combination of certain choices…
There’s also route that you can only unlock after unlocking every routes from every other characters.
Masumi:
… I don’t really understand but, you sound like the master of love.
Itaru:
I’ll take that as a compliment
I was talking about games just now, but reality is really like an impossible game.
No matter how much we think about doing things for the sake of other people, in the end we’re just spinning around in place.
Really, human relationship is like an impossible game and it’s annoying.
But, no matter how many times you reach game over, if you build up your strategy and never give up, I think one day you’ll definitely be able to clear it… That is, the real pleasure of an impossible game.
Well, anyway, Masumi can stay as Masumi, just do whatever you want.
I think in the end, that Masumi that sounds like the usual Masumi will always be supported by everyone in Spring Troupe.
Masumi:
…Somehow, you sounded so proud.
Itaru:
I’m your senpai in life, I’m also your father figure in Spring Troupe after all.
“Love is, sometimes an impossible game.” By Chigasaki Itaru
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<End of Chapter 6>
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bciwasinlove · 4 years
Text
Ok so it's been almost 2 days for me I have been reading what others have said on twitter and tumblr stans, I've had the time to process my thoughts and now here is my thoughts I get...
So some people hold their favs on a pedestal which is why those people are the ones SUPER hurt by what happened. We shouldn't have our favs on a pedestal or we will be let down everytime they make a mistake. They are humans just like us and aren't above others we have all made mistakes heck I've made more mistakes then I can count. We love our favs and need to hold them accountable when they do something they shouldn't but like I said their humans and they aren't perfect. A lot of celebs haven't really been following guidelines bc their so out of touch with reality and have quite a lot of privilege [especially if their white] and that is a problem that should definitely be talked about.
It is very sad and disappointing what happened the last few days both of the breaking covid restrictions with everything happening here in California and how this will negatively [ actually already has negatively] effected both Olivia and Harry. A lot are just so confused and hard and just over all tired of all this. Everything we have had to deal with as of late and now this it's just idk gut wrenching knowing all the things families [including my own] have gone through bc of the pandemic and they do THIS.
I 100% agree with people [mostly mean this next part with the twitter stans] calling Harry out for what happened it should be talked about but my issue is with some OT5s not treating each member who didn't follow covid guidelines the same. Some OT5s say they have a lane but there is a difference between having a lane and having said lane on a pedestal while having another member half out the door on supporting them. Example of what I mean their was an OT5 I saw who has a Niall lane and when we got pics of him at a large dinner party with no one wearing masks they defended him to the tooth and nail but with the Harry thing they were so upset and wanted to leave. Another example was an OT5 with a Liam lane fought tooth and nail when we got pics of Liam and Maya surrounded by a ton of people during one of the protests with neither wearing a mask but with the Harry thing they were very upset with him.
You must hold ALL who haven't fullly followed guidelines accountable bc if your giving "your lane" a slap on the wrist and then seeing flames with another member does something then it doesn't seem like you actually care about the problem at hand and you CLEARLY love and support one over another in a negative way. TBH Zayn is the only member who has FULLY followed covid guidelines throughout this entire pandemic and for that I respect him a lot more.
If your a newer stan this PR pap walk is a nightmare to you it's ok it will be ok bc if you talk to an older stan then they will tell you this is sadly not the worst we've been through. 2015 we had to deal with louis close to tears announcing he was going to be a dad when he wasn't and then had the nightmare of 2016 BG stunting every week and Dani pap tuesdays all to hide the fact that Louis is gay. So this is not the worst and to me it's welp another stunt I hope will pass soon.
Thanks to this shitty stunt they pulled Harry has yet another label on to the list of horrible labels GP or media have on him bc of Harry's management. He was already seen as a queerbaiting womanizer and an arrogant ahole who doesn't care much for his fans but now he looks like a homewrecker who sleeps with people to get movie roles. Neither Olivia or Harry will be taken seriously after this when it comes to movies. So I don't know whose idea it was thinking this would help with movie promo bc this helps no one and makes everyone involved look like a piece of shit.
I know the biggest thing that rubed people the wrong way [besides the wedding happening at all] was Harry looking happy and officiating the wedding so now some think Harry is possibly friends and actually likes jeff. But look at it this way we have pics of Harry with the CEO of Sony who EVERYONE knows is basically the devil in disguise who you don't want to mess with. Jeff's dad has ALOT of power in the western music business and when winning an award they said he was like the devil but we all love him WHAT?! MJ and Prince made it clear how BAD the music business is and many dont speak up like they do bc those who speak out it doesn't go well.
Harry has been in and dealing with the music business for almost a decade joining when he was only 16 he must have learned by now how things work and how he has to act and play apart where it seems like he likes these people bc Hollywood is all about pretending, with fake smiles and fake lives. To think it's not possible he was acting when he has 10 years of expereince of faking being happy in the business is not a stretch. When he was only 16/17 you saw him cry and be insecure now he has learned how to fake being happy and except what is going on.
A lot think it is a stretch that the wedding was all a pre planned thing to help push a narrative but look at BG. At the beginning of BG it seemed crazy to think they faked a story and changed louis whole image to make it seem like he got some girl pregnant and had him fake having a kid to hide his sexuality but it became clear that's what happened. I get called crazy and delusional on other apps daily for thinking that kid is not louis saying they wouldn't do that to him louis wouldn't allow this to happen BUT IT DID bc he isn't free and has NO say it what happens So this wedding being fake just to push a PR stunt relationship and the H is good friends with Jeff narrative is not a stretch.
There are articles that prove Jeff was already married to his wife since at least February 2020, we have more pics and articles about Harry and Olivia then of the married couple, why were there paps or drowns at a small intimate wedding of someone who isn't well known when big wedding of big celebs have no pap pics and if it was a guest list of only around 20 then why was Harry allowed a plus one date and heck why was Harry himself who is just a coworker allowed at this small wedding? If you were the couple you would JUST have immediate family and maybe your closes friend not a coworker and their 3 week gf. I think this was all an massive stunt to push a couple narratives.
One think I never get is the fans who when anything happenes stunt wise with louis they say this is all a stunt, it's fake, he has no control over anything and he's no where near free but when this happened with harry they go he's fully free, start thinking maybe Jeff and him are friends, and saying they wouldn't go to this extreme to push a narrative. NEITHER Louis or Harry are anywhere near free! I'd say the Azoffs have as much if not more power then Cowbell ever did.
My thoughts [more directed towards twitter stans here] hypothetically speaking if this was some kind of wedding ceremony for Cowbell and Louis was there everyone on twitter would say the ceremony is a stunt to make them look like their still friends after Syco parting. Just bc Harry gets promo or more response from GP, and people knowing his name then Louis doesn't mean he is anymore free then Louis. Realistically no one in the industry under Sony is free every aspect of their life is monitored and controlled.
All of what I have seen and read shows this stunt worked well even better then BG did bc I do see some fans who now think H might actually be friends with Jeff, the GP thinks he sleeps with people to get roles, the media are making jokes about this "new relationship", some henries are making jokes about him being a homewrecker. In ZERO WAY was this a good idea at all and helps NO ONE! The people running what happens to harry need to be careful bc if they keep going as they do soon EVERYONE [except henries who think he's hot] will hate him and not want to hear about him ever again. That is if this mess didn't do that already bc this stunt rubbed so many people the wrong way I wouldn't be surprised if people said I'm done I'm leaving I can't with this anymore.
I will say for myself I have been around almost 10 years supporting them hoping one day we will see them be free and happy. They are trying hard, harder then ever to get rid of us. They WANT us gone but I won't leave, I can't go anywhere not when I've been apart of this for so long already. I'm here, I'm staying, I WILL stay until they are out and free even if that takes another 5 to 10 years.
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migleefulmoments · 5 years
Note
The speculation that the tinhats have been tossing around the last couple of days (Darren ghost-writing music for big pop artists) is exactly how their new “facts” get added to their list. They spend a few days making up some BS and then later they will refer back to it as if it’s a proven fact.
Anonymous said: What is this new nonsense about Darren ghostwriting for Mariah Carey and others? What did I miss? Are they high?
Anonymous said: Oh Abby, when will the lies stop? You're making up bullshit about Darren ghostwriting songs now? Where did this come up from? Must have been from the drinks you and your friend had the other night. A drunken conversation of 'What if's and How about's' that will keep your little coven hanging on to your every word for weeks. You're a liar, Abby. You have mental issues. You need help. At least this is fairly harmless, I mean, you're not saying anything Anti-Mia, but still you're lying. Ugh.
Anonymous said: Did the tinhats seriously imply that maybe Darren wrote Taylor Swift’s “Out of the Woods” song? And then when someone pointed out that Taylor writes her own songs (including that one) they decided that Darren used the phrase “out of the woods” because he relates to that song. Sometimes I think they have reached the pinnacle of insanity and then they make these absurd reaches out of nowhere. They truly do believe that the entire world revolves around Darren.
Anonymous said: "I have always wondered how D got out of his record contract and this just might be an explanation." Ok I can't make sense of what the heck she's even trying to say in the rest of this post but Naya, Kevin and Amber were all dropped by their label (I think it was Columbia) because execs didn't expect their albums to make enough money. I suspect the same happened to Darren. I really doubt that there's anything more to it than that.
1. This IS EXACTLY HOW batshitcrazy cc lies get turned into facts.  Roughedreconteur is nuts- their posts are always insane with tangents that nobody else would ever imagine.  Abby used to disagree with them as they don’t seem to actually like Darren but lately, they are coming in with things that don’t offend her and she plays along, pretending that Rouged’s nutjob ideas are valid- it’s the US media pretending that when Trump makes a statement that is an outright lie it’s ok to repeat it likes it true or makes sense instead of calling him out. This time Abby really got swept up in the idea that Darren said on his Text message that he was almost “out of the woods”. Those of us who live in reality know that “out of the woods” is a commonly used saying that many people use to contact they are almost done with the worst of it- whether that is an illness “Dr, is he out of the woods yet?” or work-related projects like Darren did or just like what Trump thinks is happening now that McConnell already said he was “lock-step with Trump” because he doesn’t understand that he has already been impeached and that won’t go away, ever or literally you are coming home from a hike and you almost “out of the woods"ba-dum-pa. It wasn’t a reference to Taylor Swift’s song.  Taylor does actually write her music, she started out as a writer when she was 15. Ironically, one of the tinhatters mentioned that Darren went to a Taylor Swift concert and her mom hugged him- that may have happened but I know for sure he went to a T.Swift concert and Taylor was walking down the aisle from her outer stage back to mainstage and she saw him and hugged him and I know this becuase I was there. This is the sum total of the evidence they going on to arrive at “Darren wrote ‘Out Of The Woods” and was referencing it.  
2. One only needs to spend 4 min with Wikipedia to realize that Taylor and Jack Antanoff wrote the damn song- not Darren Criss. 
3 Taylor’s Label was Big Machine Record, not Columbia
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4. I am also pretty sure that Columbia dropped Darren’s album because they believed it wasn’t commercially viable.  Record labels don’t care if the singers like their albums. Lots of people have had music they didn’t like released anyway.  Record labels are out to make money and they will do whatever they can to recoup expenses they spent on making the album but putting out a nonviable album is even more expensive and sometimes they cut their loses.  Darren certainly didn’t have the power to shelf his own album or to cut some drug deal with the company to ghostwrite to what? Pay them back for the expense or to Ghostwrite until he’s paid off some arbitrary debt? But as you pointed out- the Taylor and Mariah weren’t on Columbia when Darren was (Mariah was at some point) 
5. As for how they got to Mariah Carey- Darren sang Mariah Carey on Lip Sync Battle and “he has no known connection to her” and according to Abby and Rouged, people always sing songs connected to them (I don’t watch it much but I’m pretty sure that isn’t true). It looks to me like Darren was slotted into a show that was clearly just a Mariah tribute. I suspect it had to do with timing and nothing more. Lots of people battle someone they are connected to but that isn’t a requirement. Rouged claimed the star he battled was LA Reid (It was Jermaine Dupri). Jermaine co-wrote and produced many of Mariah's biggest hits although Heartbreaker written by Mariah and Jay-Z and produced by DJ Clue.  Rouged argued that LA Reid is connected to Mariah Carey (he was- he was her label head for many years).  When someone pointed out that it was Jermaine, not LA Reid, Rouged’s excuse was she can’t tell the difference between LA Reid (who is 63 years old), Jermaine Dupri (who is quite short and 47 years old), and P Diddy (who is 50). Dude, those 3 men look nothing alike. 
6. Nobody even mentioned Rouged’s nonsense about how Ryan Murphy wanted to get song rights quickly so he had the cast themselves work their magic to obtain those rights  WTAF? I am quite sure that the process for obtaining rights was something the legal department did and it wasn’t like Ryan called up the singer and asked- it would have been something official done through their representatives.  Clearly, Chris Martin said “no” so we know they had input but it still wasn’t Ryan called Chris and Chris said “no” but later he said “yes” and that was that- no legal papers were signed.
7. Abby claims there us a “Mia figure’ in Royalties, not sure what the hell that means  
8. Abby and Flowers are trying to make Mariah’s butterfly thing and Chris’s Butterfly IGs into something so Abby claimed Chris posted a pic of himself in front of the butterfly mural “before the battle”. Well, yes he did...it’s dated August 2018 which is before Darren’s Jan 24, 2019, Lip Syn Battle...on that, she isn’t wrong LOL.  
This is honestly one of the most harebrained theories I’ve read to date as it relies entirely on multiple things that aren’t even real  
The actual posts under a cut because they are looong 
rougedraconteur asked: Whenever something really strange happens like the “cough hacking “cough” of an ENTIRE site to the point of shutting it down, that has had only minimal action from a questionable enterprise that has failed in most ways and has had at least one party sending desperate signals and the other acting like they had cut them off already, that means something, but probably not exactly what it looks like on its face. I think D’s response, saying HE, not WE, is “almost out of the woods,” is telling.
ajw720 answered: Look at that song again. Look how specific some of it is. Lying on your couch. The feel of your necklace around my neck. You put on the brakes too soon, 20 stitches in a hospital room. All the wolves, the ice and snow of being frozen out, attacked by the enchanted forest itself and caught by vines just when you had almost made it to the ocean. You get there, and find…yourself. Or just someone like you? The mirror image, what that journey made you into, or something else, more real?
So, I think it is possible that “Royalties” may spoof some very famous “songwriters.” That IS the premise, and D has set him and an M type “just ugh” up as a “songwriting team.” One that is, in THAT clip, not so great, and in fact terrible. But, D is in deep with the professional songwriters guild. THAT, is fact. But why, exactly? Is he “ghostwriting” for someone famous for writing ALL their own songs? Mariah just got into their Hall of Fame, gossip is she wrote nothing much, all ghosted.
So, Royalties? Will it make fun of that type power pop star? Will they be credited, or “ghosted” so the star gets all or most of the credit? Mariah is not the only power pop star D has been associated with, in strange but oddly significant ways. It is very telling that most celebs on Lip Sync Battle compete against a former co-star, “significant other,” or old pal. Not D, and that meant something. L.A. Reid has a long connection with Mariah. To the public, D has no connection with either.
So, when you do a Mariah tribute on a show as kitschy popular with superfans of celebs as Lip Synch Battle, you would OF COURSE pick L.A. Reid, who is a power producer of more than a little questionable reputation and no real entertainer on his own, really, but well connected as her long-time producer/rumored former lover/long time cheerleader and friend. And D. Who is WHAT to them both, exactly? That whole thing NEVER made sense, except that D BECAME Mariah, and stole that show. Hmmmm…
Who else does D know that is a huge star that writes their own songs? In fact, is known for that, even critically praised, well above her singing abilities? Tay/lor. He was at one of her concerts, and was greeted in the crowd by her mom. He has been behind her in another venue, they have crossed paths. At this point, she has certainly been managed, or managed herself, much better than Bieber, her male counterpart. IF she has ghostwriters, they would be well-hidden and tightly secured.
**************************************************
Hello @rougedraconteur. Cough, cough, hack indeed.  I will never believe some random person went and deleted posts and blocked people from a band’s SM that most people have never heard of. In my opinion, inside job, meant to send a direct message, which to us is unclear, but the recipient received it, of that i have no question (I have wondered if D has tried to withhold the new EP, nothing else much makes sense especially in light of his brother seemingly struggling to pay the bills).
Really interesting on the song reference in the tweet “once I’m out of the woods”, I have never heard that song, but wow, how close is this to what i perceive as reality? This could BE D and now that i understand the reference, just like i think he wrote the tweets from NYE  when he said “and here we are now, I made it, we made it. I’ve been looking forward to to this for a long time…the Soaring Twenties…seeing clearly in 2020”, I am starting to lean he wrote these tweets that indicated he was “tending to some other obligations” (which include a fake wedding, endless promotion for Swiller, Fashion Shows, Family Honeymoon in the Philippines, TB commercials and other endless adds, and promoting SK). Far too smart for the Jumping Jackass or PBB. And well, in combination, an interesting series of tweets.
For those other who don’t know the song:
Looking at it now It all seems so simple We were lying on your couch I remember You took a Polaroid of us Then discovered (then discovered) The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color And I remember thinking
Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet, good
Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet, good
Are we out of the woods
Looking at it now Last December (last December) We were built to fall apart Then fall back together (back together) Ooh your necklace hanging from my neck The night we couldn’t quite forget When we decided (we decided) to move the furniture so we could dance Baby, like we stood a chance Two paper airplanes flying, flying, flying And I remember thinking
Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet, good
Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet, good
Are we out of the woods?
Remember when you hit the brakes too soon Twenty stitches in a hospital room When you started crying baby, I did too But when the sun came up I was looking at you Remember when we couldn’t take the heat I walked out, I said, I’m setting you free But the monsters turned out to be just trees When the sun came up you were looking at me
You were looking at me
Oh! You were looking at me
Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods? (I remember) Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? (Oh, I remember)Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? Are we in the clear yet? In the clear yet, good
Dare I hope that perhaps D is really optimistic about the year ahead?  Because add in the HW stuff (on 2 most anticipated queer shows of 2020 lists, the reference to SB being leaked, what we know about the other characters, what we don’t know about Raymond, and the otherwise silence about the show), things are, shall we say, interesting.
On R/oyalties, a/k/a the show that is used to pay out every user/leach in his life (SK, RR, PBB, Algorithm Winners, etc), my understanding, and it is limited, is that they are in fact writing songs for popular, mainstream artists. Unclear if they are named songwriters or if they will be “ghosting” for people and based on the fact that the first artist is played by CT, I would venture to guess that they talent isn’t that amazing, so yes in many ways, making fun of the talent and pointing out that behind most of these mainstream acts are writers we never know or see.
On D himself ghosting, quite possible right?  It could explain a lot.  Including, if he bought it, being pushed to buy a $3 million home for his beard (which could possible be an agreed upon pay out). I have always wondered how D got out of his record contract and this just might be an explanation. Perhaps he agreed that instead of releasing his own music that was not authentically him, he agreed to write music for other artists that may or may not include the above reference individuals?  No question, his spot on Lip Sync Battle was odd if there is no association to MC and yes, she has a clear and obvious connection to to L.A.  This is no question, something to think about and ponder.  He is an incredibly talented songwriter who, to date, has not released, that we are aware of, a ton of material. It would make sense if he is writing for others and I would guess ghosting would pay well.  You definitely made me think.  
mmack062. 1Just a quick correction, it was Jermaine Dupri (Janet Jackson’s former fiance) not LA Reid on LSB with D.
ajw720 Thanks @mmack0621!
flowersintheattic254 Only 2 things spring to mind here. 1. Was the run of butterfly posts from C prior to and after D’s lipsynch performance so maybe he has ghost written for MK and 2. Once ‘he’s out of the woods’. It may be a reference to a TS song, but considering the location for the sham was in the woods I would like to hope he’s near to escaping and out of the woods soon 😉.
ajw720  @flowersintheattic254 perhaps a double meaning then?
C posted this before the battle.
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rougedraconteur. I like this, and I like Tay/lor, although that is a recent development, on my part,  but I think she is coming more into her own with more near total control over HER mammoth “overnight” breakout career than she ever had before. Remind you of somebody? Getting there, anyway. And yeah, some folks have to write under another name, for various reasons.
Butterfly IS a Mari/ah Car/ey Trademark, but it is for Tay, too.  She posted a giant butterfly on a wall in Nashville with her most recent album.  Not saying we are right, in either case or with the connections, but I believe you should look at everything and how it might connect, as a possible piece of this puzzle.  Mar/iah was recently inducted into Songwriters Hall of Fame, as a recent piece of gossip I saw stated, though she was unqualified for it.  Ghostwriters who CAN’T be revealed because the celeb and management won’t allow it, as detremental to the Big Star who is a MoneyMaker.
Can anyone verify that D’s old roomie Je/ff Jerni/gan, who went with D to Ka/tyPer/ry’s western bday party, around 2012 or 2013 maybe, during THOSE years, was with ASCAP in some “official” capacity, and that his sister worked in a big-sounding job with F/ox At that time? Connections.  I know JJ has moved on now, but D has always been involved with ASCAP and recognized as a SONGWRITER, even by Gl/ee and RIB, and hung around with other songwriters and big pop stars kind of above his pay grade at the time, if you get my drift.
Think of the swiftie songs both D AND C have sung or lipsynced to in their online posts.  They connect to at least some of her stuff in SOME way.  And that’s a fact.
ajw720 Just adding a few significant facts.  The Human EP was released on my birthday in 2010 (July 20) a few months prior to rocketing to stardom, seemingly giving him an even bigger platform to have his music heard.  Since that time, D has released very few original songs (almost 10 years) even though we know he was signed to a record deal with Columbia for several years and he has told us that he wrote and recorded many songs for an eventual album that was never released.  He even spent an entire summer in the UK writing songs  with people like B/runo M/ars.  And Columbia funded a summer tour to test his songs and popularity. A tour that sold out. So what has D released?
1 Solo EP with 4 original songs, one of which he claimed was written many years ago when he 1st performed it (untrue written during LU) and 1 of which he has given his brother credit for writing the chorus.
1 EP with his brother with 4 original songs, which he claims were mainly written by his brother
1 SK show back in 2011
2 original songs performed on G/lee
And 4 or 5 songs for the LU tour, none of which were released (I don’t count IDM as that wasn’t specifically written for the tour and only performed once).  And ONE of those songs was “ghostwritten” by wa/tsky (either Pheromones or PPG)
The songs he wrote for R/oyalties yet to be released
In 10 years, he has released FOUR solo tunes, FOUR, despite being signed to a huge contract. FOUR, on an indy label.  And I believe he only released them because he was forced by contract as he owed it to the Jumping Jackass (hence the name H/omework, a chore that has to be done).  And a total of, not including R/oyalties, maybe 30 including a musical for his theater group that was performed 9 years ago.  Where has all his music gone?  Now, I am certain he is holding back on solo tunes because he does not want them associated with PBB.  But still, it is a least worth questioning.
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purplesurveys · 5 years
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Your name, please? Robyn. Are you heartbroken right now? No, my heart’s doing okay. If so, how long have you been heartbroken? Do you like the area you live in? I like that it’s a lot quieter than the metro, but we get everything we could also get in the city nonetheless. Right now it’s just a little unsettling since the Taal Volcano erupted and we have ashfall land all over our house, but otherwise where we live is pretty decent and uneventful for the most part. Do you ever get complimented on your eyes? What color are they? It’s not my strongest feature so no, not really. They’re dark brown/almost black.
What facial feature do you like the best on a person? Everyone has their different strong suits, so. Do you like to be called baby? Only by my parents and my girlfriend, because otherwise that would be creepy. What is your favorite flower? I like roses, sunflowers, and peonies. Idk, my answers to this question changes every time so it’s safe to say they’re only my favorites today. When did you last use the restroom? Five minutes ago. I went before starting this. How long is your hair? Pretty long. I haven’t had it cut since late in 2018; if I throw my head slightly back it already reaches my hips. I plan to keep it long until my graduation shoot, so I won’t be going to the salon for at least another month. Do you have braces? I used to. Do you have any freckles? Nope. What is your favorite Internet meme? There was a local meme going around last week and it involved people making hilarious puns out of celebrity names and pairing them with Photoshopped pictures of the celebrities to match the pun – for example, a local celeb named Rico Blanco was styled as Rico Blanket and a photo of him was shopped so that he’s in bed wrapped in a blanket :(((( OK IT DOESN’T SOUND FUNNY RN but all the entries were hilarioussssss I swear. Unfortunately everyone hopped on the meme train and it died in like a week. How many windows does your room have? Two big windows but each have four tiny window panes in them that can be opened. Do you have a rug in your room? What color is it? No. My dog likes peeing on rugs so we don’t like having them laying around. What is the weirdest animal you've ever held? I don’t think any animal is weird... but the coolest ones I’ve ever held are a snake, an eagle, a sea turtle, and a crocodile. The first three I got to meet in Bali, and the crocodile was from Palawan. Do you get extremely hyper when under the influence of sugar? No. I never really believed in that either. What about caffeine? I get pretty talkative, yes. I also talk like I have built-in exclamation points lol. Have you ever tried any drugs? If so, did you regret it? No, I haven’t. Do you have any pregnant friends? None of my friends are, but I can never be sure anymore when it comes to people I know. I always say no to this question, then sooner or later someone I know gives birth kfdgkdjfhd like a classmate from high school just had her third kid and no one even had any idea she was pregnant again. Guess I’ll just keep answering this question with a shrug. Have you seen anyone lately that you knew but didn't remember from where? Yeah, this was me for a few seconds when I arrived in my history class for our first day last Friday and I saw several people that I knew I know, but I had to recollect my thoughts. I eventually remembered who they were, but for a few seconds I was stumped. When was the last time you toilet papered or egged someones house? I’ve never done this, because you don’t do this in the Philippines. Do you usually dress up for Halloween? Some years I would. When ordering food, what do you usually get as a drink? I always get ala carte because I only drink water (I get full quicker if I have any other drink), and service water is always there. Put your favorite color and favorite animal. EX: Silver walrus Pink dog. When drawing something, do you try to be super precise or do you not care? I don’t care for drawing and am aware of just how bad I am at it, so I barely make any effort when I have to. When was the last time you snapped at someone? Sunday morning. My mom was playing a mobile game where the character will only be able to move if you scream, so she was screaming her ass off at 7 AM and I was worried it would wake the neighbors up. Does it bug you when people clap with their palms? HAHAHAHAHA like Nicole Kidman? Oh man. I’ve never actually seen someone clap the way she did in real life, so I don’t know if it would bug me. I know it’d send me laughing, though. Have you hugged anyone today? Just my dog. Classes have been suspended because of the Taal erupting, so I’m not seeing anyone else today. How many languages do you know how to say 'happy birthday' in? Filipino, English, Spanish, French, and Korean, so make that five. What language would you like to learn that you don't already know? Korean, just because I watch so many Korean shows as it is lmao. Are you able to take this language at your school? Yes, but it’s not required in my curriculum so I’ve never taken a Korean language elective. Have you ever been into a bar? Yes, I’ve always preferred bars to clubs so I’ve gone to a lot of them. What ethnicity are you? Broadly, Austronesian. But specifically, I’m Filipino, and even more specifically, Tagalog. How much makeup do you wear? None. I usually wear makeup only for special events, or if I absolutely had to, like for my graduation shoot. If you could fly, what kind of wings would you have? I’d like pink sparkly ones please hahahaha. Write some lyrics from the song stuck in your head right now. Nothing’s playing in my head at the moment. Do you like that song? Would you describe yourself as 'fiesty'? You mean feisty? I can bring out that side of me if I have to, but I’m not naturally it. How corny is High School Musical in your opinion? Pretty fucking corny. But I love the series and it’ll always be an important part of my childhood, so I’m never going to hate it. Have you actually read Twilight? Yes. I don’t know how I started getting into it though; I just remember it became insanely popular in the fourth grade and all of a sudden I wanted the Twilight boxed set for Christmas. What about Harry Potter? Yes, I read most of the books. My sister got into HP when she was aroundddd 10-11ish and my parents also got her a boxed set, so I borrowed each book after she finished them. Out of the two, which is better? Twilight.
Name a member of the Beatles! Ringo Starr. Who was the name of your first crush? My first real crush was Andi. How long ago was that? Eleven years ago. Do you still know that person? She migrated to New Zealand nine years ago, so we got disconnected for a long time and that’s when we got cut off. We’re Facebook friends now, but it’s never been the same. Happy for her, though. Can you handle your emotions very well? Usually I can, but when I’m at my breaking point then I���m at my breaking point. How often do you read books? Once every five years :(( JK uhhhhh I read loads, just not from books, and particularly not anything fictional. Are you the jealous type? I can be when there’s reason to, yep. Are you the type of person who gets jealous of people's pasts? No. And usually people regret their past, so I don’t feel jealous about that. Have you ever gotten an ear infection from riding an airplane? No. My ears were incredibly uncomfortable during my first plane ride though, and it didn’t help that I was already panicking long before the flight started. Anyway, my ears never fully ~popped and I was like 80% deaf for the entire plane ride. When was the last time you witnessed someone throw up? The last time someone threw up, it was me lol. But if we’re gonna be strict about the question, it wassssss last April I think. When was the last time YOU threw up? Sometime around May last year. Do you know anyone who faints at the sight of blood? ME. I’m anyone who faints at the sight of blood. Maybe not literally faint but I do feel super nauseous and weak and dizzy and I’d sometimes gag too. Hmm. I wonder how those girls have their period. Yeah well it’s not a very fun 3-4 days for me, my dude. Don't you just love the Cottonelle puppy? I don’t know what that is. Can you do any 'magic' tricks? No. Do you know how to play Checkers? I used to as a kid, because we used to have lots of board games. But since it was the game we barely ever played, I eventually forgot the rules. What clubs are you in at school? I’m in one of the two journalism organizations, and I also joined the graduation committee this year so that I get to contribute something for our batch :) What do you fear most in this world? Either falling from a very high place or drowning. And injections. What do your siblings fear most in this world? I know my sister is afraid of big crowds, chaotic situations, and small spaces. I don’t know what my brother fears, nor do I really care. What was the last sentence you heard anyone say? I’m listening to a mukbang ASMR right now and the last thing the girl said was her basically describing what she’s about to eat. Is Taylor more of a boy's name or a girl's name? I know we’re not supposed to care about this anymore, but if I really had to think about this question I see it as a boy’s name. But I also see that it works on girls just as nicely, so. What about Dylan? Boy’s name. But it sounds so badass on girls, and I prefer it as a girl’s name. What colors are the eyes of your family members? Dark brown/black. Filipinos all look the same, dude. Are you related to anyone with red hair? No. Do you know anyone with super super green eyes? Other than celebrities, no. What color was your hair when you were little? It has always been black. What color is it now? ^ Were you a chubby baby? I was a pretty chubby young kid especially from the ages of 3-5, but I was an okay-sized baby/toddler. I’d be surprised if I was chubby considering my mom and dad are both slim. What is your favorite mythical creature? Not a fan of those. Do you know anyone with a mullet? No, I don’t think so. Put down a random word here. Watermelon. What is your favorite fruit? Avocado. Now what is your favorite flavor of lollipop? Chocolate. If you combine your 2 above answers and make a perfume would it smell good? Probably not. They’re so different. Do you always feel like you have to be the best? Yes. That’s why I always take it hard when I end up not being that. Are you looking forward to summer? Yes, because I’ll get to rest. No, because it will be my last summer until I die. Are you wearing socks right now or are you barefoot? I’m barefoot. Socks always feels like they’re there, and I don’t like that feeling. What's on your favorite necklace? I’m not regularly wearing any necklace these days. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Around seven, which is okay for me. Which is better: gingerbread or butterscotch? Caramel or peanut butter? Nutella or chocolate? Do you own an iPad? We own a family iPad, but no one’s used it in a while. I was the one who used it last as a means to work and communicate, back when I broke my phone and didn’t have a new laptop yet in my first year of college. I honestly hope that iPad never dies on us, since there’s a load of great memories there. Do you watch Glee? No and as someone who hates song covers, I think I’m better off not watching it skksjfdhgfg. How hard is it for you to get out of bed in the morning? When that day would require me to do something I dread, like attend a class I hate, it will be a lot harder for me to get up. But generally I’m pretty okay, as long as I set my alarm 30 minutes to an hour before I actually have to get up so that I have enough time to properly wake up. How many books are in the current room you're in? I’m in the dining room so there are zero books around. Have you ever witnessed an aircraft break the sound barrier? No. I also never really knew what that means, but I know I’ve never seen that. Do you keep a sketchpad in your room? I don’t draw, so I never needed one. Is there anything you do right before you go to sleep? Put water on my dog’s bowl – he likes drinking before we doze off. What color is your favorite purse? I only use one and it’s pink. How much money is currently in your wallet? ₱2,000. Do you get an allowance? Yes. How many songs are on your iPod? Don’t use an iPod these days. Do you usually have sweet dreams or nightmares? My dreams are either weird or nightmares. I never get any sweet ones. How has the weather been lately? It’s a little gloomy and cloudy. I don’t know if it’s an effect of the volcano eruption nearby, or if the weather is just like this. When was the last earthquake you felt? It was either August or September.
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legion1993 · 5 years
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You’re My Barista!
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AN: this was due on September 10th for @etudaire-writes  for her 1k writing challenge.. so sorry bout the deadline… please accept this story as my humblest apology
prompt: Barista AU
pairing: chris evans x reader
hear me coming by Yung Joc
masterlist
your life had no real value, or at least it didnt till you got a bartending job at a local bar in Brooklyn. 
this bar was popular, lots of celebs went there on a frequent basis. you got their autographs everytime & they all remembered you mostly cause you treated them like normal people & not like a famous person.
this was one thing to help you do your job & keep it. unlike alot of the other girls or baristas who didnt take their jobs seriously. 
you got promoted very quickly to head barista within your first month of work at the most popular bar. this bar a few months later got turned into a night club. 
business boomed, there was several times where between, before and after your shift you could be found on the dancefloor. 
today however was special, you were the only barista allowed to participate in the amateurs dance competition. 
Aiden: “do you have a partner or are you gonna wing it tonight YN?”
YN: “wing it of course… thank you for coming in tonight Aiden… with this competition happening, the way this night is gonna go, i have a feeling tips will be huge tonight.”
Aiden: “dont you worry about anything but winning the competition tonight we will have so much more mulah than ever before.”
YN: “hells to the yeah!”
you finished getting into your dance clothes. you pinned your hair back into a half up-half down style. 
there was 1hr30min till the competition started, you were gonna head down stairs to check out the competition. 
you smiled at the sight, the club rocking, you went over to sign in for the competition. soon found yourself stared at by a bunch of what you were sure to be drunken idiots. 
Tim: “your going into this competiton, i had no…”
you had to silence him, you placed your fingers to his mouth & pulled him round the corner.
YN: “the boss wanted to let me showcase my talents on the stage tonight. the boss has seen me dancing and singing while doing nightly clean up. so he took me aside a week ago and told me about the competition. i have to do this… to show the community that i’m more than just a barista, that i have more hidden talent & i’m not ashamed of it…”
Tim: “whats your song for the night?”
YN: “hear me coming by Yung Joc… make sure it started shortly after i get on the stage and make sure to drag it out…” 
Tim: “you got it… and hey rock the house Canary…”
You smiled as you went back to the floor & fell in love with the sights and sounds of the club booming. 
the people oblivious to who you were, when a few nights ago you had been serving drinks at the bar and tomorrow you would go back to that, but a few nights ago a man had taken interest in you that night, you only knew his first name:  Chris.
Chris, Robert & Sebastian were just coming into the club, Chris had told the guys about the fantastic barista that he had met. he now hoped he would see you again.
Chris: “god i hope she is working tonight…”
Sebastian: “you’re really hung up on this girl aren’t you?”
Chris did the coat check making sure he still had his wallet… the 3 amigos walked inside, the competition just 5 minutes to starting. being a barista had its perks like free shots during your shift, your only dislike was how there were snobby idiotic drunk pervs who constantly would hit on you.
Accross the room the DJ had stopped spinning to MC the evening. 
Dj: “alrighty how we doing tonight?” 
A thunderous applause with cheering errupted from the crowd. 
Dj: “that’s good to hear. So much energy in the room tonight, this is a very very special evening. Tonight is the first annual amateurs dance competition. Can I have my random selectomatic for the contestants select the first dancer of the night.” 
While the selectomatic was going, Roberts attention turned to Chris, Robert didn’t want his friend to be alone for the rest of his days. 
Robert: “if you & her feel the same way, marry the girl bro. You deserve to be happy.” 
Chris couldn’t agree more. He knew Rob had his back, but agreed non-the-less he was gonna marry you if he ever found you again. The guys stopped talking and watched the wheel of candidates stop spinning. 
DJ: “folks our first dancer is a sassy lady, who has graced this floor many a time with her presence in both serving and dancing, but has stated that if any man knows what she is dancing to, she invites you to join her. Ladies and gentlemen give it up for Canary.” 
You were walking to the floor through the crowd you helped yourself to a shot before you did. Chris was watching your form from behind, the song intro started & just as you had done but a few hours before you did your intro. 
Chris’ head snapped up as he watched the lights appear on your face. Rob & Seb noticed his change, also noticing Chris getting up & walking towards the floor. 
Chris felt his heart jump up when he saw you. You had already started, but Chris joined in just as you came out of your spin. 
Chris (in a whisper): “step up 3d scene… Let’s get this done, canary.” 
You understood so now to accommodate two people, doing every step in sequence and rhythm to the other. Chris had his arms around you as you slid down his body. 
You slid across the floor earning a roaring applause from the crowd. Chris after the end of the second verse turned the routine into a dance off. For he broke away from you & danced his ass off. 
The look in his eyes matched yours exactly. You both had fallen to the ground by the time the song was done. The crowd errupted with applause. You were the only person in the room who at that moment was close enough to hear Chris ask you this question. 
Chris(out of breath): “marry me!” 
Those words were enough to have both of you get up & go to a secluded booth. Robert & Sebastian waited a few moments before they followed. 
Chris: “what was a barista doing in a dance competition?” 
Chris asked as you went behind the counter to grab 2 glasses and pour 2 drinks. 
Yn: “my boss told me too. I love to dance. I will be on that dancefloor when I’m on my breaks, before and after my shifts. I just wanted people to see my talent instead of staying in the shadows.” 
Chris: “I meant what I said on the floor, marry me my beautiful barista. Marry me and make me the luckiest guy in the world.” 
Yn: “yes!” 
You got up with Chris on your heels, you gestured to the DJ to cut the music for a few moments so you could make an announcement. 
YN: “so about 2 ½ years ago I moved here to Brooklyn. I got a job, this job soon became my one true passion. My name is YN, but most of you here will know me as Canary, that’s my dance persona. I’m not a professional dancer by trade, instead I’m a barista. Maybe it will make more sense if I do this.” 
You bowed your head sliding off your wig. The crowd gasped for now they understood.
YN: “i love to dance, its that easy. now if you want to get my autograph or something ill be at the bar doing what i also love to do, serving drinks at the best nightclub in all of brooklyn. but one more thing, a few moments ago i got asked a very special question by a man whose heart led him here to meet me, apparently it was fate cause i’m engaged people. so free shots at the bar to celebrate! DJ keep those beats coming showcase the talent that is in the crowd tonight!”
you were then kissed passionately by Chris, this made the crowd errupt with congrats and laughter. the beats continued, you went to the bar and started pouring shots, eventually Chris joined you back there to give his lovely fiance a hand. 
your boss was so moved and touched that he gave Chris a job as your asistant and fired the incompetant girl who never helped. 
your eyes wandered to meet his as he continued to stand by your side helping to make drinks and clean glasses. 
Chris: “ill take a shot with my lovely fiance!” 
You poured your strongest shot mix into 2 doubles. everyone stopped to watch as you both cheers and took the shots. 
~in the morning if you were gonna remember anything, you were gonna remember getting the best almost birthday gift ever~
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smolfelton · 6 years
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Love, France - Part 17
1  ♡  2  ♡ 3  ♡  4  ♡  5  ♡  6  ♡ 7  ♡ 8  ♡ 9  ♡  10 ♡ 11 ♡ 12 ♡ 13 ♡ 14 ♡ 15 ♡ 16 ♡ 17 ♡ 18 ♡ 19 ♡ 20 ♡ 21 ♡ 22 ♡ 23 ♡ 24 (coming soon)
“Sit down,” Snape commanded.
Draco said nothing and sat in the chair opposite of the desk, feeling a sense of dread in the air. It was never good when his agent ordered him to come in for a sudden meeting. Usually it was only when he was going to be reprimanded, which was the most likely case today.
“I have good news and bad news,” Snape informed him. “Which one first?”
“Surprise me,” Draco said with a snort, just wanting to get it over with already.
Snape turned the desktop computer around and Draco had to lean forward and squint to properly see it. It was a celeb gossip website- one Draco was very familiar with as he had been it’s victim on numerous occasions. He read the article and felt his stomach drop when he realised what it was.
There were several pictures- screenshots, actually- of Draco’s Instagram posts. One was of the selfie he had taken at the cafe, Harry right behind him wearing his silly disguise. Another was of the comments the two had shared on Draco’s picture at the spa and on other posts. And then there was yet another of the picture Draco had taken of Harry in front of the bakery across from his flat. He scrolled down to read the article below, already knowing what it would say.
He wasn’t disappointed. The article was lengthy and there were numerous questions about who Harry was and what his and Draco’s relationship entailed. They called Harry ‘Draco’s juicy new fling’ in one sentence, which made him scowl. In another they called him an ‘attractive and mysterious young man’ who seemingly ‘came out of nowhere.’
All the information they had was of what Draco posted, but his heart skipped a beat when he remembered that he had tagged Harry in those pictures. No doubt the reporter had probably went to Harry’s profile and looked his name up. It would only be a matter of days before all of France knew who Harry was.
And then Harry would know who he was.
This is going to ruin everything, he thought.
“Who is he?” Snape asked, his voice stern and demanding.
“He’s... a friend,” Draco said. He leaned back in his seat and crossed one leg over the other, folding his hands into his lap. He stared at his fingernails so he wouldn’t have to meet his agent’s eyes.
“Now you listen here, Draco. I moved from England for you, to be your agent and to help guide you through this business as a favor to your parents. I have jumped through hoops and bent over backwards for you throughout the years, and I will not tolerate your lies. Do you understand me?”
Draco’s grey eyes flickered up to finally meet Snape’s black ones and he let out a long sigh, nodding. “I understand.”
“Good. Now, who is he and what do you know about him?”
“His name is Harry,” Draco said, feeling his stomach churn. “He’s here on holiday from England. We met and... well, we became friendly. I was having coffee with him when you called me in, actually.”
“Is he a love interest?” Snape asked, not beating around the bush.
Draco shrugged.
“Draco,” Snape warned him.
“We... We have a dinner date set for Saturday.”
“I see,” Snape said, leaning back in his chair. “What do you plan to do?”
“About what?” Draco asked with a raised eyebrow.
“He must go back to England sometime,” Snape said simply. “And what will become of your new relationship when it does, hmm?”
Draco stilled and looked back down at his hands. The thought had crossed his mind before, but he had never lingered on it for too long.
“I... I don’t know,” Draco admitted.
“Right,” Snape sighed. “Well, we are going still going to have to do something about this situation you’ve gotten yourself into. From now on you are to limit both your online and in-person interaction with the man. At least publicly.”
“But our date-” Draco began, but Snape cut him off with a raise hand.
“I don’t care about some silly date. You do realise your next runway is in less than two weeks, right? And both your photographer and costume designer have made complaints to me. Raphael says you have come to his shoots unprepared and Alice tells me your clothes are looking a bit tight lately.”
Draco blushed at the comment suggesting he had been gaining weight. Although he could admit it probably wasn’t the best idea to have coffee and muffins for breakfast in the morning.
“I do not want this man distracting you from your work. After the runway we can speak about this again. But until then, you are treading on incredibly thin ice. Understand?” Snape asked, his voice cold.
Draco continued to stare at his hands sadly and nodded.
There was a dead silence that hung in the air for a good minute until Snape began speaking again.
“The good news,” he began, “is that ZAE is looking to take you on for their next ad. They’re offering a shoot for this Friday upon your agreement.”
Any other time Draco would have been very happy with hearing this news. ZAE was a new makeup and clothing company that Draco had begun noticing recently. He had wanted to begin purchasing their products, but didn’t want to do so unless he was offered an advertisement deal first.
“Alright,” Draco muttered. “I’ll do it.”
“Good. I want you to get yourself together before the shoot. No mistakes. No distractions. Got it?
“No mistakes. No distractions,” Draco repeated. “Got it. Can I go now?”
Snape nodded. “Be in at 10 on Friday. You may leave.”
Draco stood, not bothering to give his agent a second glance as he left, letting the door slam behind him as he did so. He walked clear out of the building, not giving the receptionist nor the paparazzi across the street any attention as he hopped into his Mercedes. He drove away as fast as possible and only after a few minutes did he allow himself to finally breathe.
Draco could feel an overwhelming sadness swell up in his chest. He liked Harry. He really, really liked Harry. But Snape was right, Draco was distracted from his work, which had always come first up until now. Plus, what kind of a future did the two even have together, if they had one at all?
Harry would find out about Draco’s fame. Harry would have to go back to England. Harry would be nothing but a distraction from Draco’s work.
Harry, Harry, Harry, bloody Harry sodding Potter.
Draco drove home and left his car in the basement car park, quickly walking out and up the stairs as fast as his feet would allow him. He made sure to wear his sunglasses and cover his hair in his beanie, not wanting to be recognised even for a moment by any passing strangers. He took the stairs, as being stuck in a lift with other people could prove disastrous. He had already had to move twice last year when fans and the paparazzi had found where he lived.
The moment Draco got to his flat he slammed the door and flopped down onto his parlor sofa rather ungracefully. He shoved his face into a pillow and felt the burning desire to cry, but he didn’t.
Draco took his phone out and immediately pulled up Harry’s contact to call him, but stopped when he realised what he was doing. He quickly turned off his phone and tossed it onto the table, groaning loudly in frustration.
He didn’t contact Harry for the rest of the day. Even if he wanted to, Draco would only sound miserable and would probably end up putting the man in a terrible mood as well. He figured one day away was for the best to clear his mind. To calm himself and get his shit together.
“What do I do?” he asked the empty room miserably.
There was no answer.
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nakajeno · 6 years
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❦ fake love | five [ prev. // next ]
idol¡au | au masterlist
no, it is not halloween anymore. but I started writing this on halloween so honestly I don't want to be confronted about it alright 
You had never been to a halloween party before: there was never any time. The most halloween spirited thing you ever did was go trick or treating with Hoseok, knocking on random doors of the company – most of the time you were met with the trick side of things, being told to ‘get back to practice’ by staff. Though sometimes you were met with success, it really depended on the staff. But you’re much older now and have been invited to an actual halloween party. It was at your second music show that you were invited by one of the senior soloists, then you checked in with Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi and that’s when you found out they were all going too. And again you told Jisoo about it, feeling like she would understand your concern, and you were met with the same response – she was also going. You didn’t know whether to be offended that none of them invited you as their plus one or wallow that you were now actually invited. Nevertheless, you told your inviter that you would be there so you kept to your word – not that you felt comfortable enough to decline anyway.
“There’s going to be a lot of celebrities there, right?” You muttered nervously to Jisoo as the pair of you walked up to the reception area of the hall they had rented out. Just judging by the size of the place you knew you were going to be surrounded by idols far more experienced and legendary than you. 
“Y/N, you are a celebrity now,” she huffed in amusement. “Your music video broke a record, Jesus, how much more famous do you need to be for a debut soloist. I know so many people that are excited to meet you.”
“I hope you told them they would be thoroughly disappointed.”
“Of course I did,” she smiled cheekily and you smacked her lightly on the shoulder, laughing along.
It was just as you lifted your head you noticed Taehyung stood a few meters in front of you. Closing your eyes, you let out a breath. You knew to well that your ‘relationship’ with Taehyung was a hot topic in the waiting rooms. The most two common starter sentences people approach you with lately are either, “you’re the one with those most viewed debut music video,” or, “you’re Taehyung’s girlfriend.” Sure it was easy enough to fake love someone in front of millions of url’s, but the irl’s were going to take some practice – and this party was not where you wanted to do that. The corners of your mouth fell into a frown as you turned to Jisoo, who had just spotted one of her celebrity friends and run off to go say hi. Brilliant, you sulked.
“Why aren’t you saying hi to your boyfriend?” A voice asked behind you.
Noting that it sounded familiar, you furrowed your eyebrows and turned around to find the voice’s owner.
“Do you approach everyone so anonymously?” You asked Jungkook, raising an eyebrow questioningly.
“I’m hurt you didn’t recognise the sound of my voice,” he pouted in feigned distress. You just laughed it off, pushing his shoulder lightly. Just a moment later, his expression returned to normal and he asked, with slight hesitance, “Do you have to play house tonight as well?” 
“Depends on how much famous people care about other famous people,” you shrugged, sighing as you did so. “If it’s as much as the rest of the world, then yes I do.”
He just nodded slowly, biting the inside of his cheek. Abruptly interrupting the silence between you both, Jungkook suddenly asked, “Does anyone know you’re here yet?”
You shook your head, “I’ve only just got here.”
“Then let’s go,” without waiting for your permission, Jungkook grabbed your hand and pulled you back the way you came.
You were grateful that he hadn’t pulled you far before reaching a quiet coffee shop. If you weren’t both wearing halloween costumes you wouldn’t have even set foot in there, but you figured you had enough fake blood splashed all over your face for you to be confused with anyone else.
When he arrived at the table he sat you down at with two hot chocolates in his hands, you stared at his blank face – that you almost couldn’t believe was so attractive with no effort. “You’re preventing me from making celeb friends,” you joked, taking the sip of the hot drink.
He huffed in amusement, “I’m saving you from pretending to tolerate Taehyung all night.”
You raised your eyebrows and nodded once, acknowledging that he was right. Barely waiting for yourself to swallow the gulp of hot chocolate in your mouth, you interrogated him, “why did you drag me away? You didn’t want to be there?”
He pushed his lips out slightly, thinking about his answer. Eventually he lightly shook his head. “It’s not that I didn’t want to be there.”
“So, what?”
“I would just rather be here,” he smiled blatantly.
“Are you flirting with me, Jungkook?” You tried your best at holding your coy smile and stopping it from showing how shy you really felt. “Don’t you know?” You paused. Leaning closer to him, you raised a hand to the side of your mouth and spoke softly. “I have a boyfriend.”
“That’s a shame,” he stared directly into your eyes – it took all your willpower not to look away. Soon enough it became a staring contest, almost forgetting that you were having a conversation altogether.
“You blinked,” you stated, sitting back in your chair, feeling proud of yourself for such a petty win. Jungkook laughed at your satisfaction and, for a moment, you wondered if he had thrown the game on purpose – not that you cared, his loss.
“I really liked your song by the way,” he seemed eager to tell you. “Actually, I liked the whole album. Especially Sunflower, that one was my favourite.”
There was something about his confession that made you simultaneously happy and sad. One part of you was thrilled that someone had finally commented on your music but another part wishes that it hadn’t taken this long for someone to say it. Of course there was a nice selection of comments that appreciated that your music was good – but they were usually backhanded with something relating to Taehyung.
Taehyung has such a talented girlfriend. I wonder if this is about Taehyung. I came here because of Taehyung. No wonder Taehyung is dating her.
You had read many of these comments. You tried to shrug it off, figuring it would die down eventually, sometimes even convincing yourself that all attention is good attention. Only upon hearing Jungkook’s compliments did you realise how much it was affecting you. You were more shocked than Jungkook when you noticed a pea shaped puddle on the table below you.
Laughing it off, you dabbed at your eyes. “Sorry... Fake blood in my eye.”
“Don’t rub it,” he warned. “You might think that’s helping but it will only make it hurt more.”
You understood his analogy, and you were embarrassed your lie hadn't worked. But you took his word for it and let your hand drop into your lap.
“Cheer up!” He sang. “In a month you won't even have to remember his name.”
“Who’s name?” You joked.
“Kim Taehyung,” he responded seriously, which only made you laugh more.
Hours had passed and you were still sat across from each other, you on your third hot chocolate and him on his fourth. You were surprised a coffee shop that stayed open this late existed. Finally, you moved out at around 3:00am. Even when you said you would just call for a taxi, Jungkook wasn’t satisfied with you leaving completely unsupervised. The conversation on walk back to your dorm picked up where you left off in the coffee shop. Because of that, you were coincidentally home in what felt like no time. Pulling your arms out of the sleeves, you handed Jungkook back his jacket.
He shook his head.
You furrowed your eyebrows, “why aren't you taking it?”
“It’s cold, keep it.” He said cooly.
“I’m literally at my doorstep, I don't need it,” you argued. “You’ve only got a long sleeve top on, take it back before you catch a cold.”
Suddenly he started fanning his face and breathing cool air onto his upper lip. Looking around, he sighed, “Why is it so hot tonight?”
You almost couldn't believe him. Laughing, you pulled his jacket back to your chest, “fine.” You gave in. “I’ll give it back when it’s a little chillier than -2º.”
The smile that followed your sentence warmed you up far more than even ten of his jackets could have. The hardest thing you had ever done was close the door when he was grinning at you like that. With some strength, you said goodnight and parted ways, squeezing his jacket to control your excitement.
This is going to cause trouble, you thought.
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