#and then the dude almost got on the WRONG BUS while she was confronting me!!!!! so i made the situation WORSE!!!!

[fireflythecinnamonjollyrancher]

Stuck my big ass nose where it didn't belong this morning trying to help bc someone asked someone else for directions and it looked like maybe there was some confusion but instead of asking if I could help I just butted in and got yelled at so now I'm biting back tears at the damn bus stop and I KNOW I'm about to get on the bus with this person who is (in a lot of ways rightfully) pissed at me and the worst part is I really was just trying to help and meant no harm but intent over impact yk. Anyway happy Tuesday I guess

[theseinterludes]

a one and a two

i was never sure of anything. even if a thing was right in front of me, it always felt like i had to doubt its existence. thus, when i saw her waving at me, i thought i was having hallucinations. with my coffee-addled brain and the number of people here in this bus terminal, it was easy to mistake a person for someone but she was actually here, heading towards me, smiling at me so sweetly as if nothing had gone wrong between us. i never thought that dimpled smile would be directed at me ever again. i almost took out my phone to snap a picture.

“what, we haven’t seen each other in so long and you won’t even say hi?” she asked when she reached my side, eyes squinting a little when the afternoon sun hit her face. huh, she was even talking to me. her voice sounded a bit strange—had it always been that deep or had it just been that long?

breaking out of my reverie, i playfully rolled my eyes at her. “in my defense, we didn’t really end on good terms so if i was the one who saw you first i wouldn’t have done anything. maybe i’ll smile awkwardly if you saw me looking at you but that’s it.”

“that’s true but it’s been years since we last saw each other! i couldn’t help myself when I saw you here. girl, this isn’t even the line for the bus i’m going to take,” she said matter-of-factly.

i chuckled. “we’re talking as if it’s already been, like, a decade when it’s only been three years!”

“that’s still long! a lot has happened in those three years! look at you: you grew your hair, you’re a lot skinnier, and it seems like you’re not using your favorite zara perfume anymore. see, i just got here, and i can already note a lot of changes! though i find it funny that you still look so unapproachable with that ever-present frown on your face and those headphones. guess you didn’t change that much.”

if we were talking about changes then, yes, there were some. i have learned a lot about myself in those years, things i never would have had the idea about if we did not go down the way we did. for one, i have grown to be less flaky. if we were still hanging out she would have loved that since she used to scold me about always changing my mind. i also remembered she always said that i should be more courageous in going after the things i want so i made it a point to take that seriously after the fact. i remained a coward but at least now i was learning to confront a lot of the things that would have made me run back then. as it turned out, things can still go right even if i am not on stable ground! i wished i had known that then, maybe we would not be here today if i did.

“well, you’re still as frank as ever,” i countered as i took off my headphones. “you’re on your way home too?”

“yes, finally! college has been quite stressful, i’m so glad finals are done. now, i just need my ma’s cooking to recharge me. how about you? i heard you’re having the time of your life.”

i stared at her dumbfounded. why was she being so friendly? she was actually making an effort to continue the conversation. should i ask her? wait, this might turn awkward so i should definitely not say anything about that. then again, i was really curious. what if she merely wanted to pass the time while waiting for her bus and then forgot we ever had this conversation when it arrived? i furrowed my eyebrows. “this is going to smash this whole friendly mood here but, dude, why are you talking to me so casually? i thought you might still be mad or something.”

her smile dipped a little. “are you telling me i can’t catch up with an old friend?”

“that’s not what I mean,” i said.

“i know what you mean,” she replied.

unable to think of a response, i turned to look at the people passing by. i should have just gone along with her small talk. seriously, i should take a class on decision-making or something. i blew out a breath. i wished my bus would come already—what was taking it so long anyway? 

“i was never mad at you, dummy,” she broke the silence, voice now soft yet still confident. “i just got tired, that’s all. if anything, i should be the one wondering why you’re speaking to me now, i was half expecting that you would push me away again.”

a beat passed.

“i’m sorry,” i said, “for suddenly distancing myself.”

“yeah, you should be,” she stated. from the corner of my eyes, i could see her looking down at her shoes. her long hair was covering her face but i knew she was pouting. “i don’t even know why. it sucked—still does, actually.”

i sighed. can we not do this?

“i have no valid excuse for it, really. i was just so confused.” i shrugged. “i realized i have all these feelings and i don’t know what to do with them. running away seemed like the easiest thing.”

“if you were having a hard time that you had to do that you could’ve told me. i’m more than willing to help you. you knew that,” she said as she looked back at me. raising one eyebrow, she continued, “you didn’t have to cut me off—your reasoning is always so hard to understand. it’s like you’re constantly trying to make people dislike you.”

i could tell from her tone she was getting aggravated, though it seemed like i was not too far behind her. all of the frustrations i had for my actions then wanted to make themselves known.

“can you be for real? i can’t say to the person i like that i want to throw away all my feelings for her. that would be cruel especially since i know she likes me back.”

“why the hell would...what?”

“you need your ears cleaned.”

“i’m sorry, let me get this straight—”

“too late for that.”

“can you not?” she asked exasperatedly. “god, i forgot how sarcastic you get when you’re put in situations where you have to explain yourself.”

“how about you don’t analyze it too much? it was right there—i had to!”

the clenching of her jaw said it all. “alright, sorry, go on.”

“you knew i liked you? and you liked me back? how? why?”

i snorted. “well, you’re not really subtle! i wasn’t too but thank the universe you’re blind. the longing stares? lingering touches? heavy silences? girl, please, we would’ve given wong kar-wai and all the lesbian period drama filmmakers a run for their money.”

“and you wanted to forget about it because...?”

“i’m simply not ready, okay? you’ve always been so sure of yourself—that’s what I admired the most about you—but I can’t say the same for myself. the moment the realization hit, i got so scared. i had no idea what to do so i just said to hell with it, did whatever, and hoped for the best.”

“wow. you’re such a mess,” she said, disbelief written across her face. “and i thought you just decided that you suddenly hated me. damn, if only you told me that. i didn’t know that’s how you felt—you didn’t tell me anything! you’re right, i might not be able to fully understand but if only you let me, i would’ve tried so hard,” she reasoned.

i nodded. “i know you would. that was just something i needed to figure out by myself. i’m also aware of how selfish that was, but at the time that was the clearest path for me to take. i thought i would be fine with that...it didn't take me long to know i wasn’t.”

she smiled once again, this time, however, it did not reach her eyes. “back then, we joked about this all the time, but you really only ever think about yourself, no? and it’s not even the kind of selfishness where you only get the good part. do you honestly enjoy making yourself suffer?”

she had a point. i laughed humorlessly. “maybe. i do have a brutal way of confirming things.”

“it was a rhetorical question.”

“right.”

i opened my mouth again to add something but no words came out. the silence that followed was perhaps the most unbearable one i ever encountered. i could feel the heat rushing through my face though i would like to pretend that it was only because of the weather and not of the uneasiness. i tried to look anywhere but her to hide it.

“it’s a little too hot today, don’t you think? I’m melting here,” she said while fanning herself with her hands. it was like she read my mind and was now coming to the rescue. how typical. i offered her my bottled water but she declined.

“you know, now that I think about it, it’s kinda weird we had this conversation here. this isn’t how i envisioned this moment,” i told her.

“oh, yeah? tell me, then, how you envisioned it.”

“i was thinking it would be at night, possibly while we’re out with our other friends, and when we’re a few drinks in they would put us on the spot or something, i don’t know. just something not like this, a random afternoon...in a loud place where people only go to go to other places. the atmosphere is simply not right, it feels too...temporary? it’s as if it’s not real, get it? plus, I’m pretty sure that manong there is listening to us.”

she glanced at the man pretending to read his newspaper before replying. “maybe it’s the universe reminding us of all the possibilities that could happen between us. we do tend to get complacent. or maybe they’re all just homophobic.”

we shared a giggle at that but before i could add another joke she noticed something. “hold on, i think that’s my bus. the people i was lining up with earlier are boarding already.”

“oh,” i uttered, disappointment evident in my tone. “well, this was a nice talk. i’m, uh, glad you came over here.”

“yeah, it really was! things are...much easier to understand now.”

“do you, like, maybe want to do it over coffee next time?”

“sure, that would be great. i’ll hit you up?”

“yes, please! so...” how would you even end this kind of conversation? would you just say bye? add a wave maybe?

“so…bye for now, i guess. how about a goodbye hug?” she asked, opening up her arms.

“um, yeah, sure,” i said, stepping close.

it was a brief one but its tightness implied the promise of making up for the lost time. we parted and waved a final goodbye before she walked to her bus, a slight bounce on her step. with her back now facing me, it seemed like I had been granted a broader perspective. talking really cleared things out, huh? i would be lying if i said everything will go smoothly from here, though. we have only uncovered our past issues, who knew what might happen next? for now, i was just overjoyed at this chance encounter.

“see you!” i shouted at her retreating figure and she stopped for a second to smile at me. i kept my eyes on her until she entered the bus before turning away. after a few minutes, a notification popped up on my phone. she sent me a picture. when i opened it, it was a meme. i smirked. there was no question about it—i will do better this time.

[bbdaydreams]

Courage My Love// Semi Eita

Pairing: Semi Eita x Reader

Summary: You like Semi and come up with a plan to confess to him, unfortunately it takes a turn. You meet again a couple years later by chance.

Chapter Six: Shape Up

Series Masterlist•<previous•next>

“Alrighty, your food will be ready shorty,” the waitress spoke before leaving with the booklets and you all thanked her.

Semi and you still haven’t had a real conversation since sitting down at the table together, just mumbling some words to get through the night which Taka took notice of. “Are you two nervous or something? It’s alright, I’m not scary and you guys don’t look scary. Enjoy yourselves please, besides this is all our treat to you guys.” Feeling guilty for your behavior you immediately apologized to Taka and his band mates and thanked them again for the invitation. Semi did the same as well. You’re both just gonna have to fake it. “It’s okay! We’re going to be spending a lot of time together so I think it’d be cool if we could get to know each other, where are you from? I’m from Tokyo.”

“Miyagi,” you and Semi answered at the same time.

“Oh! Have you guys met before or anything?”

“We went to the same high school,” Semi answered causing you to internally face palm.

“That’s crazy! Were you two friends?”

“We were. Then we lost touch when we graduated. You know, busy busy,” you spoke up before Semi could. The last thing you want was someone you look up to questioning your past drama. Just seeing Semi was enough to remind you of how things went down all those years ago.

“Yeah, this is actually our first time seeing each other since then.”

“Wow, now I’m the odd man out,” Taka laughed to which you did too. While laughing you felt something poke your side.

Semi was sneakily trying to hand you his phone. Semi started branching off to a different conversation with Taka to distract him which you know he did so you could look at his phone without suspicion since everyone else was having their own conversations. You took a quick glance at the text message he typed to someone but didn’t send.

“Can we talk after this?”

You glided your eyes back onto the two singers, focusing more on the ash blonde. You two haven’t spoken in six years, what could he have to say, you asked yourself. Starting to think out every logical scenario you could, you thought that he just wanted to get the confrontation out of the way so you could both do this tour without any issues. Whatever happens, you know that even if you say no, you’d have to talk to him eventually. Might as well get it over with sooner than later so you typed your response.

“Yeah seriously thank you so much for listening to my band too. I’m so glad you like us. I’m actually a big fan of your music,” you spoke, jumping into the conversation so you could pass Semi his phone back with ease under the table.

“Thank you. I really liked your voices and wanted you guys to join me for the last song on our set list. It’s one of the new songs off the latest album,” Taka explained.

“Which song is it?” You asked excitedly.

“Take What You Want. We made the song with 5 Seconds of Summer but I think you guys would sound really good doing their parts.”

“I’m so down!”

“Sounds good to me,” Semi added, amused by your enthusiasm.

“Here’s your food,” the waitress spoke as she set down your plates with the help of another waiter. You all thanked them for the food before enjoying your meals.

The rest of the dinner was actually quite enjoyable. From what you could tell, Haruka and Jiro were mostly catching up with each other, which you understood since they were close their final year of high school. Tomo and Toru of One Ok Rock seemed to enjoy the stories Izumi was telling them while Ryota and Yui were having fun helping Ranmaru and Subaru practice their English. You loved talking with Taka. He was really easy to get along with and made it much easier to break the ice with Semi. You all finished your meals and left the restaurant together.

“That was the best meal I’ve had in forever!” Izumi announced when everybody was outside.

“Right? I cant way to try more food!” Jiro added on.

“What do you say guys?” You and Semi said simultaneously, crossing your arms and turning from each other.

“Thank you,” Your band members said all together.

“It’s nothing really,” Toru started.

“Yeah, we’re glad we got to meet like this,” Tomo added.

“We had a lot of fun tonight. Can’t wait to see what the rest of the tour will be like,” Ryota continued.

“You’re still very welcome. We’ll see you all tomorrow at the venue. Eita, Y/n, don’t forget, two in the afternoon for rehearsal. We’re heading back to our bus so good night,” Taka finished. The guys in One Ok Rock all waved you guys goodbye before heading off.

“They were really nice,” Subaru spoke.

“Yeah, this’ll be so exciting. It’s your guys first time in the US right?” Yui asked Won’t Regret.

“Yeah, thanks again for helping us practice,” Ranmaru said.

“No worries. You can ask us for help if needed.”

“Do you guys want us to walk you to your bus? It’s dark out,” Jiro offered, looking at Haruka for a response.

She smiled at him before responding, “Jiro you’re funny, our buses are in the same lot. We might as well just walk in a group.”

“Girls, you can head off. I’m gonna talk with Semi so I’ll catch up later.”

Yui was the first one to give you a worried look, wondering if you were fine being alone with him. Izumi and Haruka looked confused and curious. From what they knew, you haven’t been in contact with Semi since high school. Tendou was the one that mostly helped you through grieving the loss of your best friend but they could recognize the look of nostalgia in your eyes when you reminisced on old memories with him. They know you were strong, but it was a pain that never completely went away.

“How long?” Izumi asked.

“It might be a while,” Semi answered. “I’ll walk her back straight to your bus, don’t worry.”

The girls reluctantly let left you with Semi while the rest of boys accompanied them. As the groups walked away they would occasionally turn their heads back to the two of you out of curiosity to see what was going to happen. You were known for having a laid back attitude but stepping up and becoming assertive if need be in less than a second. Semi was typically pretty patient with you but it’s best to be careful since he has a shorter fuse.

“Hi,” Semi started awkwardly once his everyone was out of sight.

“Hey,” you responded in the same tone.

“Wanna go sit on that bench? Also, how’ve you been?”

“Yeah, and I’ve been good. You?”

He started walking across the street after looking both ways. “I’m doing great. How’s Tendou? Congrats on your marriage, by the way.”

“Marriage?” You asked confused.

“Didn’t you and Tendou get married and have a honeymoon in France?”

You let out a laugh before responding. “Tendou and I have been broken up for like three years now dude. I’ve never gone to France with Tendou, he went for his career and now lives there. I’ve only gone if it was for touring. Where’d you get that idea from?” You asked, gradually laughing harder resulting in Semi feeling relief. Half of it being that you might be single and the other part being that the laughing is a good sign that you’re willing to humor him.

“I saw he posted pictures of himself with the Eiffel Tower and stuff so I just assumed,” he chuckled along.

“Yeah but wouldn’t it make sense if I was in those pictures with him? I probably would’ve posted a picture of my ring too.”

“You know I follow you still?”

“Yeah, I pay attention to my notifications sometimes. I’ll be honest though, I did unfollow you.”

“Understandable,” Semi sighed.

You both went quiet after that, getting comfortable on the metal bench. Taking note of his expression, you took the lead for conversation. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

“Oh uh, I wanted to apologize,” he responded, grateful for the dim lighting so his blush wouldn’t be super noticeable.

“Well, I’m listening,” you said before crossing your arms in a playful manor.

“I’m sorry for calling you a bitch. I’m sorry for raising my voice at you. I’m sorry for saying all that petty shit and hurting you. I’m sorry for all the pain I gave you. You know that saying that’s like ‘you don’t know what you have until you lose it?’ Well I lost you, and that was my biggest regret. All these years-“

“Semi, you can stop-“ you interrupted not expecting him to go on a full on rant for an apology. You were fine with a simple ‘I’m sorry’. Never would you have expected the ash blonde to list out every thing he did wrong. It was high school, that’s when mistakes are meant to be made because you learn from them. After walking the earth for twenty four years, you couldn’t give less of a shit about the things that happened. You grew up, you were over it, you have other things to focus on than hold onto a grudge because someone hurt you.

“Let me finish. Please. All these years I never tried to reach out to you because I think you made it clear that you didn’t want to speak to me and I respect that but oh my god I’m so proud of you. You’ve accomplished so much. You’ve traveled around the world, living your dream. I know we may have ended on bad terms but I have never, not once, ever wished for your life to take a turn for the worst. I’m genuinely so happy for you. I’m just so, so, sor- What? Why are you crying? I’m the one apologizing!” he asked, raising his hands to wipe your tears.

While listening to him all you could think about was how guilty you felt. “Because I’m sorry,” You answered, grabbing his wrists to pull them away from your face so you could wipe your own tears. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for not reaching out either. I’m sorry for almost starting a physical fight with you.” You were letting all your frustrations out at this point from all the emotions you had built up inside you. While you had to admit you were upset with him, you were the one that started it. “I shouldn’t have said what I said the night of the talent show. I should’ve told you the truth. I started this. I’m the one at fault.”

“Y/n...” Semi wrapped his arms around your back, using one hand to guide your face into his chest to help you calm down. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” His voice was soft, different compared to the way he was speaking before. His task at hand was just to focus on you. “I missed you,” he spoke.

“I hmff ugh oo,” you responded, head still buried in his chest.

“What?”

You pulled away from him and straightened your back. “I said I missed you too.” You took a couple seconds to look at him. He looked almost exactly the same as he did back then. The only differences you could tell were that his hair was longer and he looked more mature, maybe a little buffer. It was somewhat comforting. “I don’t get it. I told myself I should hate you after all that happened but I could never bring myself to accept it. It’s weird that we’re talking with little difficulty right now to each other.”

“Little difficulty? I’m not gonna lie, my heart is beating so fast right now. I was so nervous to even hand you my phone at the table,” Semi laughed, eyes not looking away from your form laughing into your hand. “I don’t get it either though. I honestly thought you were gonna hate me and yell at me like, do you really forgive me?”

“How do I say this?” You asked yourself before taking a deep breath to answer his question. “After graduating and experiencing the real world, I realized I don’t need to focus on high school bullshit. We were so young-“

“Now you’re making me feel old.”

“Shut up! We were just teens. Now we’re adults, ya know? With bills to pay and actual responsibility. I’d rather focus on me, myself now than what happened in high school. Am I gonna forget it? No, it helped build the person I am now. Can I forgive? I may be a petty bitch and say I don’t wanna but what’s that gonna do for me? Nothing so I might as well.” After giving your long explanation you looked at him again and took in his features, old happy memories flooding back to you.

“Do you think we start over?” Semi asked hopefully.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, I’m Semi Eita. I play in a band and I’m a bit of an asshole sometimes. What’s your name?”

“I’m L/n Y/n and I also play in a band and can sometimes be a bitch,” you responded with a laugh.

“It’s nice to meet you. Can I walk you to where you need to be?” he asked, getting up and putting his hand out to help you up.

“Sure, that’d be really nice.”

After he helped you up, you started walking towards your bus with Semi walking right next to you. “Hey I’m actually playing a show tomorrow night, you should check us out!”

“No way, what time?” You asked deciding to play along.

“Like seven but you know how it goes, it’ll probably be more like seven-fifteen.”

“Ugh that’s annoying. Can you come to mine? I think I play at like eight.”

“Sure, dude. Anything for my bestie.”

“Aight I’m done. Bestie is too far, dude.”

“What! I can’t call you my bestie even though we just reunited six years after not seeing each other?”

“Correct. We can be ‘friends’,” you said, using your fingers to put air quotes, “but honestly I’m still on edge. Like after we went our separate ways it was hard for me to reconnect with people because it hurt when we ended things. I don’t wanna go through that again.”

Semi sighed, “I get that. Sorry again. I promise I won’t do that again.”

“It’s okay. And you better. Or else we’re really throwing hands,” you teased.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Don’t make me go all WWE on you!”

“Oh my god Semi, is that a threat?”

“Y/n!” Izumi yelled which made you focus on your tour bus. The girls had each opened a window to stick their head out of and wait for your arrival.

“Are you okay?” Haruka asked.

“Do you want back up?” Yui followed up.

“I’m joking, Yui,” Semi said, putting his hands up in defense.

“You better, or else I’m gonna be the one fighting for y/n,” Haruka warned with a glare.

“I guess this is goodnight, Semi. You don’t want to throw hands with Haruka, she’s pretty buff. Thanks again. See you around,” you said as you waved him goodbye and hopped on the bus.

“See ya,” Semi responded. He turned around and threw his head upwards to the night sky and let out a sigh before walking to his bus.

Yui with her head still out of the window took notice of how Semi relaxed after you left him. “Hey, girly,” she started, getting up from her spot after closing the window. “You okay? How’d it go?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. It actually went surprisingly well.”

“That’s good news!” Izumi cheered.

“So are you friends again?” Haruka asked.

“Hmm, I guess so? We’re basically just starting over.”

“This tour is gonna be interesting,” Yui finished.

Getting back onto his bus, Semi immediately felt three pairs of eyes glued on him. Jiro set his Nintendo switch down while Subaru put his phone on his lap and Ranmaru stood up.

“We’ve been expecting you,” Ranmaru started with a straight face.

“Yeah!” Jiro added only to be shushed by Subaru.

“Well... good news?” Semi responded, not knowing what to make of the way his band mates were acting.

“Go on...” Subaru said, this time being shushed by Jiro.

“First, I’m gonna be a guest vocal for One Ok Rock with Y/n during their last song. Second, I told Y/n everything I needed to say. We’re friends again. We’re all good,” Semi said with a smile.

Ranmaru took a few steps closer to Semi before lovingly slapping his back. “Proud of you, bro.”

“Woooo! Go Eita!” Jiro jumped up to hype up his bandmate.

“Awesome!” Subaru finished. “Happy for you man. Now, I hate to be the mom here, but we should get to bed. Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”

“Good job guys!” Taka said, patting both of your backs.

“Thank you! Is there anything you want us to change?” You asked.

“Hmm, nah. I know most people say practice makes perfect but I think as the tour goes on we’ll improve the performance each night.”

“Sounds good,” Semi said.

“Can I give some feedback?” You asked. Taka and Semi both gave you a nod to go on. “You,” you pointed to Semi, “are being so stiff. It’s your first tour in the US. Loosen up! I’ll be blunt, if how to act now is how you’re gonna act during your set, which is the first one, you’re not gonna grab anyone’s attention. The majority of the crowd probably haven’t even heard of your band. You gotta draw them in.”

“I have to agree with her,” Taka joined in.

Semi grew wide eyed and turned a little red. You were about to speak up again but he beat you to it. “Sorry, I think I’m just nervous. This is all new to me,” he said, bringing a hand up to the back of his head.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to sound harsh! I just want you guys to grow. Being on tour right now is a big honor so I want you to get the most you can out of it. And-“

And you were rambling. Same old Y/n, Semi thought to himself, letting you ramble while he had a small smirk on his face, amused by the words you were speaking.

“Just perform how you would back then! I think if you brought that energy you’d really get a lot of people hooked!”

“Ya think so?”

“I know so. Can we try again but exaggerate our movements? This dude has to shape up.”

“I’ve heard so many stories about you mentoring the smaller bands, it’s nice to see that you live up to them,” Taka smiled.

“Thank you,” you responded with a blush. “Now Semi, follow our lead. And don’t let us down tonight.”

Taglist: @pluviophilefangirl @yourstarvic @sunaswife @mynscorner @syaziahvg @discountkiyoko

[kim-lexie]

‘start up’: week-by-week playback

here is a week-by-week playback of events from ‘start up’ and my unfiltered feelings. hope you enjoy! if you want to see somewhat cohesive thoughts on ‘start up’ check out my official review. here :) 

*spoiler alert*

ep 1

ladies and gents it’s going to be a good one. i loved being able to see this backstory to lay all the groundwork for the future of the drama.

his story is devastating as a young individual unable to make his way into the world and then making a way to find it isn’t how he expected and lost a real thing he had with the relationship with the her grandmother. but the redemption when he goes to see her again.

her family becoming broken. her sister severing the relationship and chalking it up to being ‘oh i made the better choice’. and her father dying while getting her chicken and trying to get an investment to not let his daughter go hungry and to bring his family together.

to him making up a character that got her through hard times. and then trying to find him again. this is going to be great. and i know i’m going to be devastated bc she fell in love with the other man to begin with, and now she will see this new person.

soooooo much happened and i’m clearly not ready.

ep 2

why? why do we lie? we know nothing good will come of it. if anything this jipyeong is who she loves. but why lie? literally you can own up to it and start over boo.

disappointed in our sweet grandma for lying to dalmi for so long.

her sister is awful. and so is this ‘mother’.

this man just wanted to start up his start up but he was like nah don’t want to help you even though i need you. feel in love with the girl in the letters and showed up bc of the goodness of his heart. hope he doesn’t get lost in the fantasy of it.

their business, samsan tech, is going to be wild and great and he missed his opportunity.

ep 3

her mother saying she is the same as her dad not having a plan is so wack, and makes me want her to slap her.

aren’t you curious? why aren’t you asking why i am like this? because that is my concept the quiet good looking type. i can’t with him hahaha

i love that he asked about the music box. i wish it was really him that wrote the letters, because this will be heartbreaking when she finds out.

‘it wouldn’t be bad to sail off without a map even if we got lost, if it’s with you.’

this kid, dosan, is too funny.

i cannot believe her ‘father’ just throw her under the bus and had her oppa takes over the Korean branch of her company that she formed.

dang it. girl quits her job because he started his own company

they got first place. is that enough inkling for you?!?!?

they both like her. but only one of them will admit his feelings so he will win in the end. i’m so excited to see all of their relationships develop.

the cringe level of the edit of her winning her award. i cannot even. they’re charming everyone loves it.

ep 4

him learning how to be a hot shot ceo. i can’t. the placemats he is struggling.

his friend breaking the 3rd wall and telling us how dosan drives away all the ladies in university.

poor guy the only things she likes about him aren’t him at all but jipyeong.

she is going to be their ceo isn’t she. bc he said that he can’t be ceo. she’d kill it. what a queen.

yes boo! there it is we know who you’re going to pick. bc she wants them to recruit you not the other way around.

ep 5

this was a stellar episode. from both teams using the same data set and coming up with wildly different ideas to samsan tech almost crashing down. but setting a fire to dosan to do better and be more ambitious. i’m so excited.

our girl killed her presentation yes queen. you got this. the fact that the boys created a whole new software. these folks would be crazy to not invest.

this alex guy really believes in them i’m excited to see if there will be rivalry between the two hot shot ceo’s

the fact that her grandma doesn’t regret not sending her to college but rather regrets not meeting him earlier to support and encourage him made me cry.

ep 6

this was a great episode. so much happened in the development of their little company. disorder and disagreements led to stronger relations within the company.

i love how she picked the mentor. like yup i know alex is the biggest deal since slice bread but you’re our homie.

the fact that dosan was ready to come clean about the letters but overheard the grandmother get a sad report from the doctors and wanted to protect her and her granddaughter. so sad.

ep 7

i really need more than a second male lead for this man. i can’t stand the way he looks at her. he loves her and is trying so hard to shut off his heart to her.

i love the bickering between the two male leads. like seriously hilarious.

i love the sweet relationship that nam dosan will now have with her grandmother. and i love the idea concept he had for their business. a beautiful heart behind the machine.

dosan standing up for her and standing against this horrible man out to exploit their talent.  

this ending scene i can’t. they’re cute too. and precious.

he kept the plant and is going to give it nutrients to keep it well. please do the same with your relationship with her honey.

ep 8

i really love jipyeong and need them together.

i cannot with their ceo step dad. like isn’t this too much.

i want the boss lady at sandbox to know that dalmi is the sandbox girl!!!

ep 9

the wind turned into a heavy storm that destroyed his self esteem. he feels himself falling apart bc of his secret.

she was attacked!

‘i made a wrong turn and stumbled upon fireworks’ nam dosan.

he brought them to the beach after reading that review of wanting to see more beauty that the world has to offer. i need him to own up to his feelings and make a move.

don’t lie bro we know you like dalmi. and of course it’s raining. bc that’s how it is.

we still get a scene with them running through the rain the chul-san and yong-san.

my heart is crumbling into a million pieces. jipyeong’s there and dosan isn’t. what are we going to do. this ain’t the moment of revelation we wanted.

ep 10

jipyeong is so great. 10 out of 10.

i don’t know what it is but i really am not about dosan’s character for some reason. i really just want jipyeong to be honest from the start and he could have ended up with her.

my heart. our dalmi.

‘i wanted to be the person you wanted. but it was too hard to bear.’

‘the person i want. i don’t know who that is.’

is the sibling of the member that died in their group?

do-san can’t leave his boys!!

‘does my dream have to be success. can’t it be a person?’

he just confesses to liking her while he was mixing their noodles. i can’t with him. love that he’s finally being honest. now it’s all up to dalmi.

everyone encouraging her before she has to promote their company. she did this. she is the ceo. she’s got this.

what the even?!? jipyeong was the one that was harsh to him. and it led his brother to commit suicide. oh no. and now they’re in the elevator together what’s going to happen?!?!

now she has two plan b?!? one from the investor and one from dosan and the big tech company.

they both confessed to the nice lady at the bar. hahaha i love these epilogue moments.

ep 11

yong-san’s brother story is so sad.

his dad standing up for the present he desperately wants to keep. and being the bridge for innovation.

their software worked on alex’s scheme!!!

and they won demo day.

oh no but alex isn’t as great as we thought he was...

chul-san and sa-ha are dating. i cannot even. this is the best!!!

they’re such a good team. brainstorming after their win. they cannot disband them.

i thought our man was going to get to them

in time to stop them from signing. but he didn’t.

ep 12

bro. alex is awful i hate this man.

the moments between. hjp and mrs. choi you are brilliant and heart breaking. i really want them to continue to grow into a better person and end up with dalmi.

why y’all got to fight why is dosan doing this. bro you’re not getting any brownie points by being like this dude.

i really love this side story with chulsan and saha. they’re cute. well we can share the vanilla latte. cute!!!!  

chulsan made her a video of numbers to help her fall asleep. he’s too cute i want her to admit that she likes him. ahhhhhhhhh

the fact that they ended up going and we’ll have a three year gap errrrks me. like our boy jhp is going to finally start making moves and dosan is going to run in and save the day. like bro you’re a mess.

i hope they were able to save the app for her grandmother.

her applying to her sisters company i’m excited.

ep 13

lolol they used his cousin for the commercial and injae looks sooo cute. frozen inspired.

i love how she had /iced vanilla latte lover’ as chul-san’s contact name and the vlogs!!!

hjp our man saved her from the insurance guy.

now they all play go stop together!!!!

she tucked him in and he gets to stay

youngsil calling him out to just swing the bat and don’t hesitate or he’ll lose. is this foreshadowing our man losing dalmi?!?

they finally got to eat at the bbq restaurant that was below their original building

frick my life. why is his timing always wack.

at least chulson and saha can sail.

the whole gang is back together!

it was the twins that hacked it wasn’t it?!?

he stopped him. come on baby.

ep 14

i love his man listening to her cry. hiding her because she didn’t want her staff to see. and telling her to chill until she is ready. i love this man.

that’s right honey. don’t answer that phone move on.

their little photoshoot was faboulous, them as RGB

yes queen. she went to confront her family. and be like boo you thought i didn’t chance. honey you’re in for it.

her mother wanting to pay back her mother-in-law for raising her daughter in her steed.

dosan turned her down her offer to be their AI specialists at her company.

i love that his father saved the baseball.

me finally accepting my ship won’t sail when their girl walked 5 hours in the woods to get to dosan.

yong-san apologizing for saying that jhp killed his brother. they both are apologizing.

they all end up joining her company!!!!

ep 15

their self driving car passed the test. they’re too cute in their celebration.

she doesn’t want to lose her team again if they lose their bid.

sa ha is finally falling for chulsan. he’s so precious. him being like oh wait you’re asking me out.

of course it would be this trip getting stuck in an elevator together.

sailing off without a map. never will regret it. -dosan

injae absolved her adoption after seeing her grandmother.

he tired to out so all their memories with that one thing alone his big hands. hahah oh do san.

my hjp finally let go. he took his losses and kept the money tree and letters. it isn’t enough honey boo.

stop feeling inferior to me. work on your self esteem and look at dalmi again. then you’ll know who she really likes. with those hands alone, you beat our memories. -hjp

because it’s you. you’re the reason. that’s it. -dalmi on liking dosan

i really don’t like them together. but whatever i shall not have my way in this. it’s fine hjp is mine.

i love the sisters together. they’re precious talking about the sandbox girl.

is this article going to frick up their bid?!? but it was his hackers that did it the twins!!!

is hjp going to save the day?!?

ep 16

dalmi and dosan are a dream team. and they just served that reporter one great tell all.

i still can’t process bc i love hjp.

i feel like it hit mrs. choi when they were all talking dosan and dalmi when are finally saw dosan after a few years that her good boy would feel alone. TT

‘don’t become any lonelier jipyeong...’ their relationship makes me cry. i love that

i can’t everyone saying what they’ll do if they win. PROPOSE. say who their boyfriend is?!?!

i’m excited to see this start up to connect orphanages with a sponsor to help them in that transition. it’s a perfect fit for him. ‘i like your voice’, because it sounds like young-sil the voice of the app/help device. he’s going to personally invest and help them with their business plan. and then sponser kids!!! he is seriously a dream.

chulsan and saha are too cute. i love that she introduced him as her boyfriend. he was not expecting that. she finally found someone who she’s been looking for!

was that their goodbye? he isn’t the dosan from the letters? huh?

in jae is such a queen serving those papers to her dad at the q and a session, that no one showed up to. 

them all crying in their old rooftop office. they’re such dorks i love them

his father took the sign to replace it with the one from the math competition.

dalmi and injae’s relationship is too precious.

he’s going to invest in their company. and dosan accepted hjp’s investment.

i want to change the world. follow your dream.

i liked this one.

i wonder if they won.......oh the epilogue!!!

they got married. and they kept the baseball. chul-san and saha revealed they were a couple. chul-san shaved his hair! i loved that we saw it all though pictures on their desk!! that was a creative way to fit everything in!

shareholders meeting!!! the gang taking over the world!

[tw-anchor]

04. Saving Derek

Anchor

Stiles Stilinski x Original Character (Reader)

Episode: 1x04; Magic Bullet

Word Count: 5410

Warning(s): Mature language, blood, injured Derek

Author’s Note: In this chapter, we really start to see how much Olivia cares under her cold exterior. I hope you guys enjoy it! Reblog and like!

Masterlist in profile description!

Olivia rubbed her left arm, trying to soothe the tingling that had been there since she had woken up that morning. She sighed and focused on her history teacher, Mrs. Larson, giving her a polite smile as she handed Olivia back her graded test.

Oliva bit the inside of her cheek to fight her smile as she looked at her perfect score.

Now that Mrs. Larson had passed her desk, she pulled out her cellphone, anxiously checking to see if Derek had messaged her back. He had told her that he was going hunting for the alpha the night before and he had yet to message her with any details.

She didn't even know if he was okay.

A few rows back and one aisle over, Stiles turned away from the back of Olivia's head and looked at Scott's, his curiosity overwhelming him.

The night that the bus driver died, Scott confronted Derek about everything. After beating Scott up, Derek revealed that he, in fact, wasn't the werewolf that bit Scott and that there was another werewolf entirely. An alpha werewolf that wanted Scott in its pack.

Stiles had tried to give Scott space since the revelation but he was growing impatient. He wanted to know everything.

He tapped on Scott's shoulder, getting his attention.

"If Derek isn't the alpha, if he's not the one who bit you, then who did?" he asked his best friend quietly.

Scott hesitated for a second before shrugging lightly. "I don't know."

"Did the alpha kill the bus driver?" Stiles prodded further.

"I don't know."

Stiles sighed heavily. "Does Allison's dad know about the alpha?"

"I don't know!" Scott exclaimed loudly, frustrated, as he turned to look at Stiles.

Everyone in the classroom turned to look at them, hearing Scott's outburst, including Olivia. Stiles sheepishly raised his eyebrows and shrunk away from his best friend, trying to get the attention off himself.

Thankfully, Mrs. Larson came around to their aisle. She handed Stiles his test and then gave one to Scott. Stiles smiled triumphantly when he saw the 'A' circled in red ink.

Wondering what Scott's grade was, he leaned forward. He saw the 'D-' with a little note beside it and grimaced.

"Dude, you need to study more," he commented jokingly.

Scott pressed his lips together and slammed his test face-down on his desk.

"That was a joke," Stiles said flatly. Seeing how disappointed Scott looked, he added, "Scott, it's one test. You're gonna make it up. Do you want help studying?"

"No," Scott sighed, feeling a little bit better. "I'm studying at Allison's after school today."

Stiles raised his eyebrows, feeling pride well within his chest. "That's my boy!"

"We're just studying."

"No, you're not."

Scott glanced back at Stiles. "No, I'm not?"

"Not if I'm forced to live vicariously through you," Stiles stated seriously. Everyone knew that studying with a girl wasn't just studying. There had to be some touching or something involved. "If you go to her house today and squander that colossal opportunity, I swear to God I'll have you de-balled."

"Okay!" Scott said quickly, wishing Stiles would shut up in their very crowded classroom. "Just stop with the questions, man."

"Done," Stiles agreed easily. "No more questions. No more talk about the alpha or Derek. Especially Derek...who still scares me."

-

-

"Scott's coming over?" Lydia asked, raising her eyebrows at Allison. "Tonight?"

"We're just studying together," Allison excused as she, Lydia, and Olivia walked through the hallway, heading toward the library for their free period.

Lydia scoffed. "Just studying never ends with just studying," she smirked, sharing an amused look with Olivia. "It's like getting into a hot tub. Somebody eventually cops a feel."

"Well, so what are you saying?" Allison asked, causing Olivia and Lydia to pause on the stairwell.

"She's saying to make sure he covers up," Olivia told Allison, giving the taller brunette a small smile.

Lydia nodded in agreement but Allison looked at them blankly, obviously not getting it.

"Hello, Snow White!" Lydia exclaimed, rolled her eyes. "Do it with him with a condom."

Allison laughed in disbelief as they started up the stairs again. "Are you kidding? After one date?"

"Don't be a total prude," Lydia shrugged. "Give him a little taste."

"Only if you want to, though," Olivia added, not wanting Allison to do anything she didn't want to do.

Allison smiled gratefully at Olivia but then turned to Lydia, much more unsure. "Well...I mean, how much is a little taste?"

"Oh, God, you really like him, don't you?"

Allison nodded, crossing her arms over her chest self-consciously. "He's just different. When I first moved here, I had a plan: no boyfriends until college. I just move too much. But then I met him and he was different," she shrugged. "I don't know. I can't explain it."

"I can," Olivia said simply. "It's your brain flooding with phenylethylamine."

Lydia rolled her eyes fondly at Olivia while Allison laughed. "What?"

"I'll tell you what to do," Lydia spoke up, offering her expertise. "When is he coming over?"

"Right after school."

"Hmm," Lydia hummed thoughtfully. "Let's see..."

Allison and Lydia continued to the library but Olivia stopped at the girls' bathroom, checking the status of her make-up and pulling up her long sleeves, checking the skin of her left arm to see why it was tingling. Seeing no blemish, wound, or rash, she left the bathroom to meet up with the girls.

She stopped as she passed Jackson in the hallway, seeing the look of pain on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"What's wrong, Jackson?" she asked him.

"Your cousin's here," he said shortly, voice tense.

"Wait, Derek's here?" Olivia shook her head, wondering why Derek had come all the way to the school when he could have just messaged or called her.

"Yeah and he needs to cut his fucking nails," Jackson cursed, pulling his hand from his neck. In his palm was a square of bloody gauze.

Olivia bit the inside of her cheek, worried. Derek had excellent control; he wouldn't just go around digging his claws into people for no reason. "Sorry, Jax," she apologized. "Make sure you put some antibiotic cream on them. I'm going to find Derek."

Jackson waved her off.

Olivia turned and, almost as if in a daze, started walking through the hallways. She went back down the stairs and into the English hallway. In the corner, under the bell, she saw Derek leaning against the cinder block wall.

As she rushed toward him, she saw that he was paler than she had ever seen him with dark circles under his eyes. Upon further examination, she could see blood dripping down his left hand and onto the linoleum floors.

"Derek, what are you doing here? What happened? Are you okay?" Olivia rambled, looking up at him. His eyes were bloodshot, making his pale-green irises stand out.

"I was shot," Derek breathed.

"S-Shot?" Olivia stuttered, her own breath picking up. She grabbed his left hand and pushed up the sleeve of his leather jacket. She sucked in a deep breath when she saw a nasty bullet wound, bloody with short black veins surrounding it. "You're not healing."

"I think it's wolfsbane," Derek informed her shakily. "I need help."

"Okay, how can I help?"

"I need Scott's help," Derek corrected himself. "Ollie, it was Kate who shot me."

Olivia tried not to panic at the name. Derek had told her all about Kate Argent, even when he told no one else.

Kate Argent was in her early twenties when she approached Derek, who was still a teenager. She manipulated him, had sex with him, got him to trust her, and then burnt down the Hale house, killing almost everyone in it. She was the one who killed her mom and injured her dad.

Olivia didn't hate a lot of people but she hated Kate Argent.

"Okay," she said calmly, trying to calm the jumble of thoughts in her head. "Where Scott is, Stiles is. We find Stiles, we find Scott."

Olivia grabbed Derek, helping him lean against her, his arm around her shoulders—which didn't look or feel great to Derek since she was so much shorter than him.

The final bell rang as the two of them slowly navigated the school, heading to the parking lot. All around them, students rushed through the hall, heading to their cars or the bus they rode to go home.

They finally reached the parking lot and Olivia's eyes widened when she saw Stiles about to drive away in his blue Jeep. She sped up, practically dragging Derek behind her, and stepped in front of Stiles' car.

It was only when Stiles slammed on his brakes that Derek collapsed onto the ground.

Olivia immediately knelt next to him as the cars behind Stiles started honking, wondering what the hold-up was. She patted Derek's pale cheeks, rousing him back to consciousness.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Scott demanded as he ran up to them. Stiles came up behind him, having climbed out of his Jeep at Scott's insistence.

Olivia glared at him. "He was shot."

Stiles observed the older werewolf who was breathing heavily and trying not to puke all over the ground. "He's not looking so good, dude."

"Wow, what astute observations there, Sherlock," Olivia snapped at him, her panic causing her to be angry at the wrong people.

Stiles glared back at her.

"Why aren't you healing?" Scott asked Derek, bewildered. When he was shot with the arrow by Mr. Argent, he healed within minutes.

"I can't," Derek said weakly. "It was a different kind of bullet."

Stiles perked up excitedly. "A silver bullet?"

Olivia glared at him while Derek spat, "No, you idiot!"

"Wait, wait," Scott spoke up thoughtfully. "That's what she meant when she said you had forty-eight hours."

"What?" Olivia asked quickly, wondering how Scott knew this. "Who said forty-eight hours?"

"The one who shot Derek," Scott said quickly.

Derek let out a quiet groan as a jolt of pain shot through his body, his eyes glowing icy-blue.

"What are you doing?" Scott hissed at him, looking to see if anyone was watching close enough to see that something was wrong with Derek. "Stop that!"

"Derek, your eyes," Olivia said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Derek's eyes returned to their natural pale-green. "I'm trying to tell you, I can't!" he hissed at Scott, his eyes once again switching to blue.

"We need your help, Scott," Olivia said firmly, grabbing Derek's arm to try to help him to his feet.

Scott looked around once more and grabbed his other arm. "Derek, get up!" he looked at Stiles, who was watching the scene curiously. "Help us put him in your car."

Stiles shuffled forward, taking the arm that Olivia was holding onto and helping Scott pull Derek to his feet. Olivia hurried over to Stiles' jeep and opened the passenger door, allowing Scott to help her cousin into the seat.

She climbed into the Jeep through the driver's side, settling in the back seat.

"I need you to find out what kind of bullet they used," Derek ordered Scott as Stiles got into the driver's seat.

Scott scoffed. "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"She's an Argent, Scott," Olivia leaned forward so Scott could see her. She knew that Scott could figure out what to do. "She's with them."

He was going to Allison's house, after all.

Scott looked back at Derek, narrowing his eyes. "Why should I help you?"

Derek glared at him. "Because you need me."

Scott looked down the line of cars and then back at Derek. "Fine, I'll try," he gave in, looking at Stiles. "Get him out of here."

Stiles gritted his teeth and put the Jeep in drive. "I hate you so much for this," he muttered to Scott before pulling out of the parking lot.

-

-

Stiles angrily pursed his lips, sneaking glances in the rear-view mirror as Olivia helped Derek out of his leather jacket.

They had already been on the road for a half-hour and so far there was nothing from Scott. He knew that he told Scott not to squander his opportunity to hook up with Allison but he hoped that his best friend had enough sense to know that things had changed. The sooner that Scott found out what kind of bullet Derek was shot with, the better.

His phone buzzed from his cup holder; he checked the message from Scott.

Scott: Need more time.

Stiles huffed and slammed the phone back into the cupholder.

"Any news?" Olivia asked, leaning between the driver and passenger seats.

"He needs more time," Stiles answered grumpily. He glanced at Derek and added, "Hey, try not to bleed out on my seats, okay? We're almost there."

"Almost where?" Derek asked quietly.

"Your house?"

Derek abruptly turned his head toward Stiles. "What?"

"No, you can't take him there," Olivia objected, shaking her head firmly.

Stiles scoffed. "I can't take him to his own house?"

"Not when I can't protect myself," Derek said, as though it should be obvious to Stiles.

Olivia nodded in agreement.

Motherfucker, he thought, I'm going to kill him before the bullet does.

Stiles shook his head and sharply turned his steering wheel, turning off onto the side of the road. He put the Jeep in park and faced Olivia and Derek.

"All right," he raised his voice. "What happens if Scott doesn't find your little magic bullet, hmm? Are you dying?"

Olivia inhaled sharply, not liking the fact that Derek could very well die, while Derek simply shook his head. "Not yet," he said. "I have a last resort."

"What do you mean, what last resort?" Stiles shouted, fed up with the werewolf. He saw Derek raise his sleeve and abruptly gagged when he saw the bullet wound that was causing them so much trouble. "Oh, my God. What is that?"

"Stiles," Olivia sighed, sending him a flat look.

Stiles ignored her. "Oh, is that contagious?" he whined, shaking his head. "You know what, you should probably just get out."

"Start the car," Derek ordered, voice firm. "Now."

Stiles stiffened, his jaw clenched, and any other time, Olivia might have thought that he looked very attractive when he was angry.

"I don't think you should be barking orders with the way you look, okay?" he glared at Derek. "In fact, I think if I wanted to, I could probably drag your werewolf ass out into the middle of the fucking road and leave you for dead."

"Stiles!"

Derek ignored Olivia's objection on his behalf and narrowed his eyes at the spastic teen. "Start the car or I'm gonna rip your throat out with my teeth."

"Derek!"

Stiles pursed his lips and stubbornly faced forward, not touching the ignition. Yeah, he was afraid of Derek, but he wasn't about to be bossed around in his own damn Jeep. He wasn't too sure he believed Derek, anyway. Was he really willing to kill Stiles in front of Olivia?

"Stiles," Olivia leaned forward, placing a warm hand on Stiles' shoulder. He looked back at her, eyes widening at the desperate look in her cobalt-blue eyes. "Can you please help? Please? He's my family."

Stiles closed his eyes, not being able to resist her pleading look. He sighed and started the Jeep again, pulling back onto the road.

Olivia squeezed his shoulders, grateful. "Thank you."

-

"What am I supposed to do with him?" Stiles asked Scott through the phone, glancing over at Derek and Olivia. Olivia was pressing some tissues she found in her purse to Derek's wound but it wasn't doing much in way of helping.

"Take him somewhere, anywhere," Scott responded, making Stiles roll his eyes.

He sighed. "And, by the way, he's starting to smell."

"Like what?"

"Like death," Stiles looked over at Derek, just to see the older werewolf glaring at him.

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Scott spoke, "Okay, take him to the animal clinic."

"What about your boss?" Stiles asked.

"He's gone by now," Scott said, causing Stiles to look at the clock. They had been driving around for close to four hours now. "There's a spare key in the box behind the dumpster."

"What's he saying?" Olivia asked, catching Stiles' attention.

He shook his head. "You're not gonna believe where he's telling me to take him."

Olivia raised her eyebrows while Derek reached for the phone, holding it up to his face.

"Did you find it?"

"How am I supposed to find one bullet? They have a million," Olivia could hear Scott now since the phone was closer to her. "This house is like the fucking Walmart of guns."

"Look, if you don't find it, then I'm dead, all right?" Derek reminded him.

"I'm starting to think that wouldn't be such a bad thing."

Olivia narrowed her eyes at the phone, mentally cursing Scott out in her head. Why was his boy so stubborn?

"Then think about this," Derek retorted. "The alpha calls you out against your will. He's gonna do it again. Next time, you either kill with him or you get killed. So, if you wanna stay alive, then you need me. Find the bullet."

Derek hung up the call and passed the phone back to Stiles.

"All right," Stiles said, starting up the Jeep and pulling out onto the road once again. "To the animal clinic."

The drive to the animal clinic took another fifteen minutes and Derek was looking even worse by the time they pulled up to the modest building. Stiles held onto Derek while Olivia searched for the spare key behind the dumpster and when she unlocked the door, the three of them stumbled in.

Feeling his phone buzz in his pocket, Stiles let go of Derek, letting him fall into a pile of dog food bags.

He quickly read the text and looked up at Olivia and Derek. "Does Nordic Blue Monkshood mean anything to you?"

Olivia cursed under her breath, recognizing the name. From her vast internet research of wolfsbane and each species effects on werewolves, she knew that Nordic Blue Monkshood was rare and hard to cure.

"It's a rare form of wolfsbane," Derek told Stiles. "He has to bring me the bullet."

Stiles raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"'Cause I'm gonna die without it."

"Okay, we need that bullet!" Stiles uttered under his breath, messaging Scott back and requesting the presence of the bullet.

Olivia couldn't believe this was happening. She had been trying not to think about the fact that Derek might be dying all day, but it was now at the forefront of her mind. And she was freaking out.

She couldn't lose Derek. He was the last connection to her father's side of the family she had, other than her semi-comatose father who looked like he'd never heal. She loved Derek; he was her cousin, older brother, and good friend all wrapped into one person.

Olivia couldn't imagine her life without him.

"Livvy."

Olivia looked up sharply at that stupid nickname that Stiles kept calling her. He was looking at her, his eyes clearly showing his concern for her.

She wished that he'd show concern for Derek because otherwise, it was just her who cared whether he lived or died.

But she knew that Stiles didn't trust or like Derek, so she didn't count on him being worried about her cousin.

"Yeah?" she asked, aware that she had been lost in her head.

"Let's bring him to the exam room," Stiles suggested, nodding toward Derek.

Olivia wordlessly agreed, rushing forward to help Derek off the pile of dog food. As they led Derek into the exam room, he squirmed around, trying to get his shirt off of him to allow easier access to the wound.

Once in the exam room, Stiles shrugged Derek off of him and turned on the light.

In the fluorescence, Derek's wound looked much, much worse. The little black veins that were around it earlier had grown, heading down his forearm and up to his bicep. The wound itself was still bloody but was steadily turning black as Derek's body tried to heal itself.

Stiles silently gagged and stood at the stainless-steel table across from Derek. "You know, that really doesn't look like anything some echinacea and a good night of sleep couldn't take care of."

Derek looked at his wound carefully. "If the infection reaches my heart, it'll kill me," he said with unsteady breaths. "Ollie, find me a tourniquet."

Olivia nodded and went to the counter, opening random drawers and rummaging through them. 

"Positivity just isn't in your vocabulary, is it?" Stiles snarked.

Derek rolled his eyes as Olivia continued to look for a long strip of strong rubber band. "If he doesn't get here with the bullet in time—last resort."

He shuffled over to Olivia's side and grabbed the bone saw from a drawer she had already gone through.

"Which is?" Stiles asked.

Derek turned around and slammed the saw on the table. "You're gonna cut off my arm."

Oh, Olivia thought, that's what he needs the tourniquet for.

"Are you crazy?" she exclaimed, finally spotting a bright-blue tourniquet. She grabbed it and whipped around, glaring at her cousin for his insane idea.

Cutting off his arm? Really?!

Stiles stared at Derek with an open mouth, shocked into silence. Curiously, he picked up the bone saw and revved the blade.

He groaned, his shock wearing off. "Oh, my God. What if you bleed to death?"

Derek shrugged as Olivia wrapped the tourniquet around his arm, right above where the black veins stopped. "It'll heal if it works."

Stiles honestly felt like he was going to faint. "Ugh," he shuddered. "Look, I don't know if I can do this."

"Why not?"

Olivia finished tying the tourniquet around Derek's arm and backed away, glaring down at the bone saw. It wasn't the greatest idea, she knew, but if it would save Derek's life, who cared? She knew that Derek would rather have one arm than be dead and she felt the same way.

"Well, because of the cutting through the flesh, the sawing of the bone, and especially the blood!" Stiles exclaimed, becoming panicked.

Derek gave him an unimpressed look. "You faint at the sight of blood?"

"No!" Stiles shouted. "but I might at the sight of a chopped-off arm!"

Derek shook his head, exhausted. "All right, fine. How about this? Either you cut off my arm or I'm gonna cut off your head."

"Derek," Olivia sighed, tired of the two men bickering. God, they bickered more than she and Stiles did.

"Okay, you know what?" Stiles started angrily. "I'm so not buying your threats any—"

Derek cut Stiles off, leaning over the table and grabbing the collar of his shirt to pull Stiles closer to him. His teeth were bared threateningly, causing Stiles to gulp nervously.

"Holy shit..."

"Enough, Derek," Olivia shook her head and picked up the saw. "I'll do it."

Gagging, Derek slumped onto the table, letting go of his death grip on Stiles. Olivia looked on worried as he leaned over the edge.

"What are you doing?" Stiles asked nervously, stepping away from the pale werewolf.

No sooner were the words out of his mouth that Derek spewed black liquid onto the floor, making it splatter everywhere.

"Holy God," Stiles gagged, backing up further and bumping into Olivia. "What the fuck is that?"

Olivia pulled Stiles out of the way and stepped around the black blood, helping Derek into a standing position. "It's his body trying to heal itself."

"Well, it's not doing a very good job of it," Stiles pointed out the obvious.

Olivia rolled her eyes and picked up the saw. "We have to do it now."

"Look—"

"I'll do it," Olivia interrupted Stiles' protests. "Just—just hold him down."

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God," Stiles muttered, going up to Derek and holding the top half of his body down.

"Okay," Olivia breathed, trying to calm down. She inhaled and exhaled a few times to control her panicked breathing. "Okay, it's going to be okay."

Stiles couldn't help but be mad at himself that he was making Olivia cut off her cousin's arm. If he really had the guts, he'd do it for her.

Olivia shook her head. "All right," she placed the blade on Derek's arm, right under the tourniquet. "here we go."

Stiles readied himself, knowing that Derek was probably going to squirm while Olivia cut off his arm.

"Stiles?" Scott's voice echoed through the animal clinic right as Olivia went to press the trigger.

Stiles and Olivia simultaneously sighed in relief.

"Scott?"

Scott entered the exam room, his eyes going straight to the saw Olivia was holding to Derek's arm. His eyes were wide in shock as he yelled, "What the hell are you doing?"

Olivia pulled the saw away from Derek and dropped it on the table as Stiles laughed breathlessly.

"Oh, you just prevented a lifetime of nightmares," Stiles sighed happily.

"Did you get it?" Derek asked Scott, weakly pushing Stiles off of him.

Scott nodded and pulled the bullet out of his pocket, handing it to Derek. Derek held the bullet to his eye level, observing it carefully.

"What are you gonna do with it?" Stiles asked wearily.

Derek's eyes started glazing over. "I'm gonna—I'm gonna—"

He dropped to the ground in a dead faint.

"Derek!" Olivia shouted, running over to his unconscious form. She shook him roughly, trying to wake him up. "Derek! No, no, no!"

Stiles and Scott rushed into action. Stiles knelt on the other side of Derek and tried to help Olivia while Scott went to the grate in the floor where the bullet fell.

"Derek, come on, wake up!" Stiles patted the older werewolf's face.

"Derek, please!" Olivia pleaded shakily, tears dripping from her eyes.

Stiles looked over at Scott, hoping he'd know what to do. "Scott, what the hell are we gonna do?"

"I don't know!" Scott called back, trying desperately to reach the bullet. "I can't reach it!"

Olivia continued shaking her cousin, praying to whatever god was in the sky that he would just wake up. They were so close, they were so close...

"He's not waking up!" Stiles yelled unhelpfully. "I think he's dying. I think he's dead!"

"Shut up!" Olivia glared at him while Scott exclaimed, "Just hold on!"

Stiles patted Derek's face again and looked up when Scott declared that he got the bullet out of the grate.

"Please don't kill me for this," Stiles mumbled to Derek as he pushed Olivia's hands away and reared back, forming a fist. He decked Derek in the face and shouted at the pain in his hand that flared up immediately.

Derek woke up with a start and Olivia reached for him, helping him to his feet with assistance from Stiles and Scott.

"Give me—" Derek reached for the bullet.

Scott gave Derek the bullet and the older werewolf bit off the top with his teeth, tapping the bullet on the table. Purple dust fell out of the golden casing and Derek pulled out a lighter from his pants pocket and lit it up.

Sparks erupted from the wolfsbane, shocking Stiles and Scott, but Derek and Olivia paid it no attention. Derek scooped up the ashes and hesitated before smushing the wolfsbane into the bullet wound on his arm.

Derek fell to the floor once again, screaming from the pain jolting through his body. His back arched and Olivia winced in horror as he groaned loudly. But then the black veins on Derek's left arm started disappearing until the wound itself healed up, leaving behind smooth, unblemished skin.

"That. Was. Awesome!" Stiles shouted, pumping his fist in amazement. "Yes!"

Olivia rolled her eyes at the spastic boy and bent down, helping Derek off the floor.

Scott watched him carefully. "Are you okay?"

"Well, except for the agonizing pain," Derek snapped, ripping the tourniquet off his arm.

"I'm guessing the ability to use sarcasm is a good sign of health," Stiles commented causing Derek to glare at him.

Olivia nudged her cousin and gave him a they-just-saved-your-life-be-nice look. Derek softened his gaze and looked away, finding his discarded shirt and tugging it back on.

"Okay, we saved your life," Scott declared, narrowing his eyes at Derek. "which means you're gonna leave us alone, you got that?"

Olivia started to protest. "Scott, you don't know—"

"And if you don't," Scott continued as though Olivia didn't speak. "I'm gonna go back to Allison's dad and I'm gonna tell him everything."

Olivia reared back as though she had been slapped in the face. She couldn't believe that Scott was so willing to trust the Argents. They were literally hunters who would kill him if they knew he was a werewolf. It didn't matter to people like Kate if you were young and innocent and had never hurt a soul in your life. If you were different, she'd hunt you down.

"You're gonna trust them?" Derek voiced his similar disbelief. "You think they can help you?"

"Well, why not?" Scott retorted. "They're a lot fucking nicer than you are!"

Derek scoffed and glanced at Olivia before turning back to Scott. "I can show you exactly how nice they are."

"What do you mean?"

Derek gave Olivia a questioning look but she shook her head at him. She didn't want to see her dad with Scott there. Her father and his condition were a private part of her life and she probably wouldn't be able to handle it if Scott reacted badly and said something stupid.

"Go on," she waved at him. "I'll call for an Uber or something."

Derek nodded and then he and Scott left the animal clinic, leaving her and Stiles alone.

Olivia sighed heavily, the adrenaline from the whole situation wearing off and leaving her tired.

"Uh, I can take you home if you want," Stiles spoke up, gaining her attention.

Olivia looked up at him, watching as he nervously scratched the back of his neck. His eyes met hers for a few seconds, the whiskey brown strangely calming her down, and then they flickered away.

"Um, sure," Olivia cleared her throat. "Thanks."

"No problem," Stiles said, watching as she looked around the exam room and grabbed a mop from the corner. "Um...what was Derek going to show Scott? Do you know?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded and wet the broom so she could clean up Derek's vomit. "He's showing him my dad."

"Your dad?"

"He was in the fire," Olivia explained quietly.

Stiles could tell that she really didn't want to talk about her dad and he didn't want to push her. If Derek wanted to show Scott her father to see how bad the Argents were, that meant that they were somehow connected to the fire.

"The Argents set the Hale house on fire?"

Olivia sighed and set the mop down, resting her forehead against the top of the handle. Stiles was surprised to see tears wetting her eyes. "Yes. Well, Kate Argent did," she corrected herself. "We don't know if anyone else was involved."

Stiles didn't understand how Olivia wasn't a mess right now. The woman who murdered most of her family and heavily injured her father was back in town and she almost murdered one of the last members of the family she had left. If it was Stiles in this situation, he'd be inconsolable.

It made Stiles fall for the girl in front of him even more. She was so strong.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling ashamed. If he had known, he wouldn't have made such a big deal about helping Derek today.

"It's okay, there's no need to apologize," Olivia waved him off, having collected herself. "Usually the Argents follow their code or whatever. But Kate's ruthless—she didn't care that there were kids in that house or that there were humans."

"Livvy—"

"It doesn't matter how nice the Argents seem to be," Olivia said firmly, her eyes hardening as she thought about what Scott said. "Kate killed my mom. There's not a nice bone in her body."

(Gif is not mine)

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

[audreyjenseninthatredsweeter]

My Goldilocks: part one

Plot: you find the new boy in your house one morning before school. Part 1 of ?

Word count: 2465

tw: stalking by mention.

   It was a morning like every other you were trying to sleep in a little before your final alarm went off. You hear glass shattering as you roll over in bed. Your first thought is that one of your parents must have dropped their coffee cup but in your heart, you know they are at work already. You contemplate just staying in bed and pretending to be asleep maybe whoever broke the glass would go away on their own. Nut maybe not. Maybe the masked killer who’s been knocking off your fellow classmates is inside your house right now and is on their way to make you their next victim. You decide that you can’t take that chance you need to get out of the house right now, who cares if you’re late school when there is potentially a murderer in your house. You throw your comforter on to the ground and jump up out of bed as prepared as someone can be to fight an intruder while still half asleep if need be. As you slowly creep down the stairs leading to the front door you try to convince yourself it was nothing, all in your head, or the wind, anything but the unknown and unofficial accomplice of the Lakewood killings. You knew listening to Noah Fosters, “The Morgue” before bed would come back to bite you in the ass but who could have known that on this Monday morning you would hear the sound of glass breaking. You let out a very quiet sigh as you step on the last stair on the staircase. “Almost there,” you tell yourself with only a good four feet between you and safety.

 As you make your last step on to the floor of your houses entrance you see a person in the corner of your eye. You silently curse as you turn to look at your intruder. You loudly swallow when you the light brown-haired boy standing there sweeping up his mess and noticing you at all. If you ran out the door now, he could no doubt catch you and kill you in the street, which may sound a lot better than your body being found after your parents get home from work.

 Your heart is beating so hard you can hear it; it almost feels like you snorted a pound of cocaine yourself. You back up to the bottom step and against the wall with impeccable timing. The boy could feel your gaze as he finished cleaning and turned around to nothing since you were hiding. He shakes off the feeling and walks to your kitchen to throw away the broken glass. This is it your chance to escape but as if fate wanted you to be caught the alarm clock your phone goes off. The boy freaks out and zooms right past you and out your front door. You try to catch a glimpse of his face but only see his big beautiful blue eyes. You want to call the police, but you also know your dad would kill you if you’re late to school again even if its because you were almost murdered.

 You run back upstairs back up to your bedroom to get ready for the day. You pull out your cell phone and dial your moms phone number. As it rings you place it on speaker so you can multitask. “Sweetie I know its your first day back at school but I’m trying work can we just talk when I get off?” she says while answering. You sigh as bring your brush though your hair. “I just figured you might want to know what I almost died.” “Don’t be so dramatic,” she replies while she types on her computer. You roll your eyes and shake your head before setting down your brush. “Never mind mom I’ll talk to you later.” Your mom doesn’t say anything she just hangs up. You grab your phone and keys before running back down the stairs and outside. You walk up to a black minivan and get in. you hated having to drive a minivan to school this year but hey at least you don’t have to ride the bus and you could fit at least six of friends in it, well if you had six friends.

 You pull up to George Washington high and park. You grab your backpack and get out of your van. You make sure to lock the doors behind you before entering the school. Your best friends meet you at the doors, the two of you walk through the halls. Your friend is telling you a joke when he passes by you, his eyes standing out. You put your arm up against your friend’s chest and tell them to stay there. You follow the boy with the blue eyes until he reaches Emma Duval. You know you can’t just walk up to the guy and accuse him of breaking into your house in front of the girl who was attacked by her half-sister almost a year ago. You turn around and walk back to your friend. “What was that all about?” they ask. “Oh, I uh thought I recognized that kid,” you say. “From where that guy is new.” You clear throat, “Leaving my house this morning.” Your friend grins before saying, “You dog.” “I meant after I caught him breaking into my house.” They nod before reaching their locker. “How do you know it was him?” They ask. “I don’t. I only saw his eyes and the back of his head.” “Why would the new kid be breaking into your house?” You sigh before answering, “That’s what I was going to ask him, but he walked up to Emma.” “Shit yeah good call coming back.” You nod as you lean up against their locker. “DO you think you can get me some like information on him before I make a fool out of myself?” you ask. “Sure thing, but I’m to need to his name,” they agree. A big grin stretches across your face as you thank them. You walk away still smiling as the first bell begins to ring.

 After school is over and you’re pulling out of the parking lot you spot the boy from earlier you pull over and offer him a ride. He gives you a weird look before declining. “Us Lakewood kids got to stick together so no one else dies, ‘’ you joke. “How do you know I’m not the accomplish?” He asks. You smirk before saying, “Because id know if there was a third one of us.” He chuckles and opens the door to your van before getting in. “I’m (your full name) by the way.” “Eli Hudson,” he says. “So, where to Eli?” you ask while taking the car out of park.  “The Grindhouse café please.” He tells you. You nod as you drive off to the coffee shop. “You’re new right?” you ask trying keep the car ride from slipping into an awkward silence.  “um Yeah just moved in from Atlanta,” he answers. “How do you like Lakewood so far?” He shrugs before saying, “Well no one’s died yet, so I guess its pretty okay.” After he speaks you start to feel unsettled his use of the word “Yet” lingers in your head for a while as you begin to think that maybe you shouldn’t have invited this strange guy into your vehicle. You clear your voice as you pull up to the café, “Here!” You turn and look straight into his emotionless light blue eyes. “Thanks, I uh really appreciate it!” he says as he unbuckles his seat belt. You just nod as you watch him get out and into the building in front of you. Maybe you should have drove straight to the police department and had him confess to the crime you knew in your heart he was guilty of or maybe you have locked him in your car and confronted him then and there while no one else was around. You pull out your phone and text your friend, “His Name is Eli Hudson, and it has to be him.” You get a text back that says, “Got it!” You sigh in relief as the notification pops up on your lock screen.

 You pull out of the café and back on to the rode after ten minutes of deciding weather or not you should follow this Eli guy around. Ultimately you pick going home and showering and doing homework, to keep your grades up. You notice both of your parents’ cars still gone as you pull into your driveway. They were often at work; Your dad ran his own company and your mom worked for the mayor. You park your car and head inside to start making dinner. While the pasta boiled, and the chicken baked you did your homework. Sure, any normal teen would stay out with their friends and waited until they were told to come home but you were so use to this routine, in a way it was easier than ordering pizza or partying. Plus, fast food gets boring after a while whereas pasta did not. Once it was all finished cooking you make a plate for each of your parents and stick them in the fridge before eating your own straight out of the pot. Next on your list was a shower. After your shower you go back downstairs and do the dishes.

As you lay down in bed and close your eyes you can’t help but feel unsafe alone in your own home. Sure, the Brandon James killing stopped when Piper Shaw died but the thought of someone else have being here this morning was enough to keep you awake. You toss and turn each time those big blue eyes pop into your brain. Finally, you succumb to the image and fall into bright blue drifting you into a deep sleep. In front of you stands the boy from earlier looking down at you while you slumber. Hes studying you more than admiring you, trying to figure you out. You roll over in your sleep and he backs out of your dark bedroom and down the hall of your house searching the other bedrooms. He got it all wrong this morning, he can no longer pretend to be you; you both share very similar lives. He sneaks back out through the window once he came and disappears into the night.

 In the morning you wake up to your phone ringing, and five minuets to first period. You freak out and throw your shoes on before calling back the number that had just called. “Oh my god I thought you died!” your best friend says on the other side. “Nope just slept in. Do you think it’s too early into the school year for me to show up in sweatpants?” “Dude fuck beauty standards its just High school what you wear here doesn’t count for shit,” they answer. You sigh in relief before running out the door and to your car. “So, what’d you dig up on Mr. Goldilocks?” you ask while driving to school. “I’ll tell you at lunch. Hurry up and get here before the last bell rings!” the say. You pull up and park your van before running into the front doors and down the hall to your first class just as the bell rings. “Made it, you at lunch,” you say before hanging up.

 When the lunch bell rings you push through the crowed halls to meet your friend at their locker. “I cannot believe you made it, and are wearing that shirt,” they say motioning to white t-shirt with “Psycho” spelled out in dripping red. You look down at your shirt for the first time that day and realize your mistake. “It’s just a shirt the Lakewood six can over it,” you say. “Well I’d be careful around Audrey I heard she threatened Hayley the other day.” “Well it’s a horror movie shirt not Piper’s face so I’m sure Ill be fine,” you tell them as you head in the direction of the cafeteria. As you both walk Eli passes you and your eyes lock with his before he turns his head around back in the opposite direction of you. “You can’t tell me that guy does not scream psycho stalker at the least?” you ask motioning to his direction. “Well I can tell you, he happens to have a restraining order on him for just that, so at the least hes probably obsessed with you.” “Is that all you got on him?” you whine. “Well I am no Noah Foster,” they reply. When you both reach your spot in cafeteria and sit down, they tell you that Eli is Kieran’s cousin. “Did you tell your parents that someone broke in yesterday?” they ask. You shake your head. “No, I haven’t seen them since Sunday night.” You stare across the room at most of the Lakewood six before getting up mid conversation and over to their table. “Kieran, your cousin Eli, uh what’s his deal?” “I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” he says bringing his focus to you and away from Emma. His green eyes emptier than Eli’s. “He broke into my house yesterday morning and I want to know why,” You explain. He chuckles. “I don’t know why your telling me and not the police, I’m not Eli’s babysitter.” You sigh, “Just tell him to leave me alone,” you demand loud enough for a few tables around to hear but not the whole cafeteria to hear. Audrey stands up and walks over to you. She puts her hands on your shoulders and forcibly walks you back to where you came from. “Leave us alone and ill take care of Eli.” You thank her as she walks away before sitting down and dropping your head to your knees. “I shouldn’t have done that,” you tell your friend. They shake their head and pat you on the back. “I still can’t believe you didn’t just call the police.” “And what be late? Besides its not like they’d be able to do something, they wouldn’t even try to find him,” You say.

 After school you see Elis big scared eyes behind Audrey’s shoulders as hes pushed up against the wall. You can’t hear what she’s saying but you know it must be about you. You walk to the parking lot with your head down. You were a little ashamed that you got one of the Lakewood six involved in your little witch hunt, they had been through enough recently especially Audrey. You get in your van and drive home trying to pretend nothing happened, but you know you put six people on edge who literally need nothing but relaxation.

[thesecretfandom]

Chapter Fourty-Two: Runaways - Bughead

Word Count: 3,570

Rated: G

A/N:  3x06 Fix-it or my 3x07 Headcannon. (Read on AO3)

"B, I have tried calling you a thousand times. I've got a major Archie crisis and I need your help." In her frustration, Veronica nearly threw her phone out the window.

Something was very, very wrong. Betty always called back after the third missed call. And it's not like it's been only a few hours… it's been an entire weekend. After leaving her fifth message, she was prepared to pull out the big guns and face Alice Cooper in the flesh.

It was dark when Veronica arrived at the Cooper household. The light from the street lamps were all she had to find her way. Even the light from Betty's window was turned off, though she new Betty slept with the light on. The light chased away the demons that haunted her dreams, and Veronica didn't blame her. There were a lot of sinister things lurking in the dark streets of Riverdale.

"Betty? Mrs. Cooper?" She knocked on the door, but knew it was for naught. Clearly, no one was home. She tried the handle, but the door was locked. A locked door was no problem for Veronica Lodge, though. In fact, breaking and entering was becoming her signature move.

Veronica snuck around to the side of the house. She'd never entered the house this way, but she knew for a fact that a ladder was hidden in the hedges beneath Betty's window. Her suspicions were confirmed when she set the ladder up leading to Betty's window and climbed to the top. The window was unlocked, no doubt for a certain Jones boy to sneak through.

Her bedroom looked untouched. Her laptop was sat on her desk, her backpack slung over a chair. Most shockingly, her Serpent jacket hung on a hook behind her bedroom door. If she was on a mission, especially at this time of night, she'd have that jacket with her.

The door to Mrs. Cooper's room was locked, making it all the more enticing to pick the lock. Betty had taught her well and Veronica had the door open in a moment. The room looked exactly as Veronica would imagine. The floral duvet was perfectly folded over the bed with at least five decorative pillows.

"Where would Alice Cooper hide clues?" Veronica glanced in the closet, but wasn't quite prepared to tackle that disaster. Instead, the side table seemed like the most likely hiding place. She wasn't looking forward to digging through a recently divorced, middle-aged woman's side table drawer, but for Betty she would do just about anything.

Thank God, she found nothing strange other than Betty's cell phone. She reached to pick it up and a post-it note fluttered to her feet.

Safe at Sisters

Suddenly, it all became clear. Alice had a history of hiding her problems at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy and this time, it seemed, Betty was her biggest problem.

"Oh my God, Jughead! That bastard is with Archie!" In all of her distraught over Archie being gone, she hadn't even thought about where Jughead might be. If he were in Riverdale, he would have surely noticed Betty's absence and gone to find her already.

She whipped out her phone, suddenly grateful she hadn't thrown it out the window earlier that day.

"Jughead Jones, I know where you are and if you hang up on me I swear to God I will burn this entire town to the ground."

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They hadn't made it far in a day and a half. The stretch of railroad seemed never ending, and with Archie's injury they couldn't walk at quite the pace Jughead had hoped. They only made it as far as Centerville when his phone started to ring.

That must be Betty calling him back. He'd left her a message, telling her he was on a roadtrip with Archie and would be back in a week.

When he picked up his phone, he instead saw Veronica's name on his caller ID.

"Veronica?"

"Jughead Jones, I know where you are and if you hang up on me I swear to God I will burn this entire town to the ground."

"Wait, what?"

"I know you're with Archie."

"Archie isn't here… I don't know where he is."

Archie was shaking his head vigorously on the other side of the tracks, mouthing 'I'm not here.'

"Cut the bullshit, Jones. I think Betty's in trouble, so I need both of you to get your asses back to Riverdale right now."

Jughead suddenly forgot where he was and where he was going. All thoughts reverted back to Betty, and the declined phone call from two nights ago.

"We'll turn back around right now, but what…?"

"Dude, I'm not here… remember?"

"Archie, I love you like a brother, but I need you to shut your goddamn mouth or I will rip out your stitches and leave you here to die."

"Dude, harsh…"

"Veronica, what's wrong? Where's Betty?"

"I think she's at the Sisters, we need to get her out right now."

"Veronica, I need you to get a car and pick us up at the Centerville bus station. Bring the Serpents."

"I don't  think that's a great idea, this needs to be a covert operation."

"Cheryl and Toni then. They know the place." Jughead was frantic, and Archie's confused glances were only annoying him further. "Hurry, Veronica."

"Ok, I'll be there soon."

As soon as he hung up the phone, Jughead ripped his beanie off his head and threw it to the ground. Archie watched him as he paced, stomping back and forth beside the tracks. "Fuck!"

"Jug, please tell me what's going on."

His fingers tugged at his hair, the words in his head unable to be formed into sentences. "She's at the Sisters. Fuck! Next time I see Mrs. Cooper I swear to God, I'm gonna…"

"The Sisters? You mean the group home?"

"That's not what it is!" Jughead bit back. He knew the shady dealings of the Sisters, and Betty was not receiving any real therapy there. "It's a demented asylum, hell bent on brainwashing anyone unfortunate enough to be sent there. Illegal therapies, forced treatments… Polly was sent there when she was pregnant, and so was Mrs. Cooper. God dammit, how could she do this to her?"

Jughead was raving at this point, but he'd snatched his beanie back and yanked it over his head. It was just another mile forward to the Centerville train station, and the bus station was on the other side of the street. If Archie could pick up the pace just a little bit, they'd get there in twenty minutes.

"Okay, Jug. It's going to be okay. We're gonna get her out of there."

"I'm getting her out of there." Jughead picked up a fist sized rock and chucked it into the trees. A frustrated, strangled sort of scream ripped from his throat. "Then I'm burning that place to the ground."

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It had been only a day and a half that she'd been locked in here. Her mother was on her mind, but not because Betty missed her. It was because Betty knew this was it. This was the last tie her mother had to break before losing her forever. She couldn't go back home when she got out of here.

It wouldn't take long for Jughead to find her. When he found her missing from home, he'd know where her mother had sent her. It was the only explanation as to why she wouldn't have told him where she was going.

That's what she kept telling herself, but as her second night in the cement block prison cell approached she worried about what kind of trouble Jughead could have gotten himself into. Maybe he'd been playing the game and ascended. Or maybe he'd confronted Hiram or the Ghoulies again.

She was being walked from the cafeteria to her 'room,' which she preferred to refer to as her cell. The windows were few and far between, but she could tell it was just past dusk. The last traces of the sunset still lingering in the sky.

Room 307 was too high to jump from, even if she thought she could get past the guards without a distraction. The door was locked with a deadbolt on the outside, so she couldn't even pick her way out. Her only chance was for someone to unlock it from the outside.

She moved quickly as they approached her door. Betty had managed to keep the ponytail holder she'd been wearing when they brought her in, and a bobby pin she'd hidden under her tongue. Hooking the bobby pin onto the ponytail, she wrapped it around the door handle as the nun walking with her unlocked the deadbolt.

The tears only came when the door was locked behind her and she was finally alone again. She sat on the windowsill, sobbing into her knees. She was already broken in so many ways, and too much time in this place might take the last of the fight out of her.

"Juggie, please hurry."

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Veronica pulled up to the Centerville bus station in FP's beat up old truck and the two Jones'  bikes in the truck bed. Two boys sat outside on a bench. While Archie was hiding his signature red hair under a hideous baseball cap, there was no disguising his jawline. She felt a mix between anger and relief upon seeing him again, but pushed the feeling aside when she finally jumped out of the truck.

As she approached the boys, Toni and Cheryl rode up on the back of the former's bike.

Jughead was on his feet as soon as the truck came into view. Veronica tried to stop him, to tell him her plan, but he marched past her to the truck as Archie slumped behind him, avoiding eye contact with Veronica.

"I'll deal with you later." She said with a glare. "Meanwhile, Jughead… Toni and I have broken in and escaped with Cheryl in the past, so I'm thinking you drive the getaway bike?"

"Not a chance in hell, Veronica. I'm going in." Jughead dug in the back of the truck and pulled out the two Serpent jackets. "Where'd you get Betty's jacket?"

"I broke in to her room using that handy ladder you keep beneath her window." Veronica slipped on her own black jacket as she climbed into the truck.

"Are we getting this show on the road or what?" Cheryl almost seemed bored at this point.

"Let's do it, but… what plan did you all formulate anyway?"

"I'll tell you on the way, but let's get going." Veronica was in the middle seat already, Jughead and Archie piled in on either side.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jughead let the truck coast to a stop, lights off, at the edge of Fox Forest. Cheryl and Toni parked further in the woods, where the tunnel they'd used during their last breakout ended. The two girls would break in, undercover in the uniforms Cheryl had escaped in. They'd cause a distraction in some far corner of the building, allowing Jughead and Veronica to sneak in and find Betty.

"And what I'm I doing, exactly?" Archie asked once again.

"If they chase, you are the decoy. Take off in the truck and make sure they're following you."

Archie looked disgruntled at his duty, but didn't  say anything as he let Veronica out of the truck.

"Sit tight, pal." Jughead clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll be back in no time."

Veronica followed Jughead, pushing one of the bikes silently around the tree line. "You're sure we can get in on this side?"

"No," Jughead admitted. "But Betty and I got in this way last year when we came back the night Polly first disappeared."

"We'll make do."

They parked the bikes and set their sights on a forgotten side door. Jughead knew there was a stairway just inside the door, and if the distraction goes well they shouldn't be stopped by any guards along the way. Now to wait for a signal from Toni and Cheryl.

"Just in case the door has been locked, do you have a bobby pin handy?" Jughead asked, his eyes not leaving the door.

"Of course I do. Betty has taught me well."

The sound of shattering glass at the other end of the building shocked them into action. The two ran up and waited for frantic footsteps to disappear before they broke in. Jughead tried the door handle, but his gut hadn't lied. The door was locked.

"How fast can you pick it?"

"Faster than you can." Veronica pulled a bobby pin from her hair, making quick work of the lock.

They moved up one level to the lobby, where the usual check-in desk sat abandoned. Veronica hopped over the desk and was already flipping through a binder labeled 'Check-Ins.'

Jughead yanked the binder from her hands, eager to do something. He couldn't just stand there like an idiot. He found the previous day's check ins. There couldn't be many…

"There." He jabbed his finger at the number next to her name. "Room 307."

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!"

Veronica made a move to hop back over the desk, when Jughead caught sight of two night guards rounding the corner.

"Shh!" Jughead ducked around the corner. "Veronica, find a way out and wait at the bikes. I'm getting Betty."

Jughead sprinted toward the nearest staircase.

"Jughead!" Veronica tried to follow, but the two men were too close now and she couldn't escape without being seen.

The third floor was dead silent. And with no markings pointing toward the rooms, he had to try two different hallways before finding 301...302… finally, halfway down the hall he found 307. Already, he could feel the impending doom of being caught before he could get her out.

"Betty?" Jughead knocked lightly on the door. "Are you in there?"

Shuffling footsteps and a few sniffles approached the door. "Jug?"

"Thank fuck." Jughead let out a sigh of relief, but he wasn't in the clear yet. If only he had a… there, wrapped around the door handle, was a ponytail holder with a bobby pin attached. "Betty you're a genius."

"Jug? What's happening?" Betty sounded closer now, only a few inches of metal separated them. "I heard a crash earlier."

"No time to explain. Just hope our distraction stalls them long enough." He almost had the lock, just one more click would do it. "I think there are two guards coming this direction though. Got it!"

The satisfying click of the lock told Jughead he was in. He pulled the heavy door open and before he could even get a good look at her, Betty was in his arms. He could feel the tears on her cheeks as she buried her head in his neck. He held on to her for a long moment, as if she were too fragile to ever let out of his sight again. He slid the ponytail holder from his wrist to hers, a gesture she returned with a slight smile and quick kiss on his cheek.

"Oh shit…" Jughead saw the guards coming around the corner almost too late. He grabbed Betty's hand and ran to the end of the hallway, where the emergency exit led out onto a fire escape. Jughead ran ahead first, hopping the last few feet to the ground and  letting Betty land in his arms as he helped her down.

"The bikes are on the side of the building, Veronica's waiting there… Hurry!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Betty ran ahead of Jughead, but could feel his hands reaching out behind her. Offering up his protection if needed.

"Hey!" Betty glanced back fast enough to catch a glimpse of the guard who came sprinting out after them. She kept running, but Jughead steered them into the trees. "You can't hide!"

"No, but we can run." Jughead said under his breath. "Take my jacket and get on the bike. Go to the bunker."

Jughead shrugged off his jean jacket as they approached Veronica and the bikes.

"Betty!" Veronica let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God you're o-"

"No time, Veronica. We gotta go." Jughead hopped on his father's bike and pulled on his Serpent jacket. Veronica climbed on behind him, wearing Betty's jacket and hiding her hair under the helmet.

"Jug, wait!" Betty reached out to him. She'd' just been reunited with him, and now he was speeding away from her again.

"Betty, please." Jughead kissed her quickly on the forehead and pushed her back. "We'll meet you at the bunker."

Jughead revved up the bike and he and Veronica sped off in the opposite direction. Guards came running out of the front doors of the building now, followed by Sister Woodhouse.

"Catch that girl!" She shouted. "Follow them!"

Betty knew what Veronica and Jughead were doing, making her jailors believe that Betty was on the back of that bike. She watched until the bike had reached the trees on the other side of the clearing where the Sisters of Quiet Mercy stood as a dark, imposing shadow.  The bike's engine cut suddenly, followed by the groaning start of a different engine.

FP's old blue truck knocked over a few signposts as it careened through the grass in front of the building. She couldn't see who was driving, and soon the truck disappeared back in the woods, following the dirt road that led back to the highway. The bike started again, and disappeared into Fox Forest. The guards split up, not sure which to follow.

Betty jumped on her bike and released the hand break. She rolled forward, they had left her to take the most direct path to the bunker. Betty took off, not bothering to look back. The bunker wasn't far…situated in an old, forgotten part of Fox Forest.  It was far enough away that they wouldn't accidentally stumble upon it during the chase, but close enough that they wouldn't think she'd take refuge so near.

She didn't hear anyone following her, but took a long loop through the trees to make sure. She cut the engine and hid the bike under a patch of brush just fifty feet from the bunker entrance. She climbed into the bunker, the only place she felt safe anymore.

It looked exactly as she left it, save for Archie not laying crippled in the bed. Betty took a seat on the floor, her back against the ever growing Gargoyle King wall. She watched the door, counting down the endless minutes that passed as she waited.

She jumped when she heard the creaky door flip open.

"Jug?"

"Afraid not, dear cousin." Cheryl strutted into the room, Toni following close behind.

"You guys were a part of this?" Betty accepted a hug from both Cheryl and Toni. It felt forced, but she appreciated the human contact and familiar faces all the same.

"No Serpent left behind, right?" Cheryl said, looking back at Toni.

"We look after one another." Toni agreed, holding two fingers up in the Serpent salute.

Betty glanced behind them. "Are Veronica and Jughead with you?"

"No, we had a head start. Don't worry, they should be here soon."

The three girls sat in silence as they waited. Ten, then twenty minutes passed before they heard the door again. Archie slid down the ladder much more safely than he had the last time, landing hard on the metal floor.

"Archie!" Betty ran up to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders. "Where's Jughead? And Veronica?"

"They aren't back yet?" He glanced behind her, seeing only the other two girls. "I thought they had a head start."

"I'm going out to look for them." Betty made a move for the door, but Archie stopped her.

"You can't. I'll go look."

Just as Archie turned to leave again, a pair of familiar black boots came down the ladder. "No need to look for us, we're here."

Betty fell into Jughead's arms as soon as his feet hit the ground, and let him pull her out of the way of the entrance. Veronica came down next, taking Archie's hand as he offered it up. Archie wrapped her in a hug, whispering against her hair.

"As interesting as this little love fest is…" Cheryl started. "Toni and I are going to leave for a little bit of our own privacy."

Betty stayed wrapped up in Jughead's arms as long as she could, but they had to figure out what came next. Archie was still recovering from his a nearly fatal wound and Betty couldn't return home now. Archie and Veronica sat with their arms around each other on one side of the room, while Betty and Jughead did the same sitting on the bed.

"I can't go home." Betty said finally, choking on a sob. Jughead held her tighter. "Not after my mom sent me to that place."

"We aren't going home." Veronica said. "B, I got some essentials for you. A change of clothes, toothbrush, hair brush. Just to get you through the night. Jughead and I are going back to town and will get enough stuff for all of us. Clothes, toiletries and all the cash we can find."

Jughead pulled Betty onto his lap. "We're leaving Riverdale."

She turned her head back to look at him. "For good?"

Jughead nodded, his eyes flicking from her eyes to her lips. "For good."

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A/N: Definitely thinking of a Part 2... I want to know what would happen if these kids just skipped town to escape the drama. Anyone else? Hope you enjoyed and please let me know what you think! Also tried a new style for my cover edit, might do more like those in the future :)

[jayascorner]

you can’t take my place

tyler joseph x reader

(the title isn’t a joke lol)

•

•

•

piper thompson. the basketball legend. well, at least up to the third quarter of the year.

she had been known school wide for the best basketball player on the varsity team, for a girl. she’s even better than some of the guys. the spotlight was always on her. and sometimes....people were jealous. whenever she got the ball everyone would cheer for her, knowing her name.

this was all until tyler joseph came along. then the saltiness came upon piper. ever since he came, she’s hated tyler’s guts. not just because he’s a basketball player, but also because he took her place being wickedly talented at it. that just made her so infuriated. she didn’t even bother to talk to him about it or even become basketball buddies with him. they could have been, but she judged the book by its cover.

and oh was she wrong about him

“hey piper! you playin’ basketball tonight?” a guy asks. piper is currently at her locker, finally closing it for the day.

“wow! somebody remembers i play basketball.” she scoffs.

“so...are you?” he asks once more.

“yeah. how’d you know?”

he gives her a look like she was stupid or something. “uhh because you’re wearing a jersey.”

she looks down at her feet. “oh. that.”

you see what i mean? it’s like she doesn’t exist in the world of basketball anymore. all because of that dumb tyler guy.

“yo tyler! good luck at the game! OH RIGHT!! YOU DON’T NEED LUCK!” another guy shouts from across the hall, as tyler just smirks triumphantly.

piper hears that from her locker and totally just gapes at him. he glances at her, but thinks nothing of it and walks away.

it’s kinda rare for both varsity girls and boys to play on the same day. that usually doesn’t happen.

but you know what that means? she can watch him and see if he really is that good. and you never know, he might see her.

but anyways, this is a total nightmare for piper.

her spotlight.

going to another guy.

not.

cool.

>:(

but maybe....

she can confront him!!!

...

...nah.

“hey mom!” she calls out as she comes in her house. it’s common for her to walk home, rather than taking the bus or driving. she is an athlete, after all, and it’s best for her to do the most beneficial things for her body.

she comes in the kitchen to see her mom making dinner. “hi honey. how was school today?”

piper sighs. “just as usual.” she says while putting her backpack down. “i just wish that stupid guy would leave the school.” she mutters

her mom looks up in shock. “WHO’S STUPID?”

“oh just this dude named tyler. he’s new to the school, but totally just took my spot. like nobody pays attention to me anymore. it’s like i don’t exist.” she complains, leaning against the counter.

“okay now we don’t call people stupid. and how did he take your spot?”

“apparently he’s really good at basketball. once everybody saw his talent, they left me back in the dust. i feel like they all forgot i even play basketball.”

“aww i’m sorry sweetie. sometimes life can be hard. just try to tough it out. or maybe you can talk to him. you never know, y’all could become friends.”

piper scoffs. “i doubt it. he’s playing tonight anyways.”

“then talk to him! i’m sure you have a lot in common!” she claps her hands once.

“but mommmmm. i don’t want to.” she whines.

“what? is he good looking or something?”

piper stops to think about that. she never pays attention to his looks. but she could say, he’s definitely not bad looking.

“i mean, kind of. i don’t know. but i’m not very fond of him so don’t get any ideas.” she walks over to the table to do homework at.

“how do you not like him? you haven’t even met him yet.”

she just frowns in response.

“oh. you’re salty.”

piper nods in response.

her mom sighs. “you know, you don’t need to be mad at him for any reason. he didn’t do anything. the best way to change your mind is to actually get to know him. anyways, dinners ready. if you want some.”

“i probably shouldn’t. i have a game in 30 minutes, i’ll eat after.” she says.

“alright.” her mom says.

after a few minutes, she is ready to go. but she still has some time to do homework, so that happens. and of course, she doesn’t finish all of it.

“you really need to wear those slides?” her mom asks.

piper looks down at her new f/c slides and frowns innocently. “yes. they keep my basketball shoes from getting dirty. you know we can’t walk on anything other than a court with those.”

“you could just bring another pair of shoes.”

“but with slides it’s easier because you can just slip them on. why are you so against me wearing these?”

“i’m not against them. i just don’t like them.” she says while putting her own shoes on.

“well i like them. so i’m gonna wear them.” piper smiles joyously. her mom mutters a ‘whatever’ and they leave.

~time skip~brought to you by jish and ty kissing each other’s shoulders (ik ik you could’ve read that wrong)

it’s far into the varsity girls game, aka piper’s game. she notices tyler on one of the top benches of the bleachers, but sadly tyler doesn’t notice her.

wait a sec...SADLY??

...what just happened?

there comes a time where they get a foul and piper has to shoot a free throw. of course she’s gonna make at least one of them. she always does. mostly she makes both. everyone is murmuring her name since they can’t distract the player. at least they remembers she’s a good player.

and of course ya gotta hear those dumb cheerleaders chanting. “hey you! at the free throw line. miss it, miss it!” AS LOUD AS THEY FREAKING CAN!

it’s totally rude to say that but i mean, it’s the other school.

and all piper can hear was her own voice in her head telling her how to shoot the ball. because for some reason, she would always think of the steps to shoot the perfect basket. it’s like those cliché moments in movies if you know what i’m saying.

of course she makes the first one, to her luck, getting her team another point.

by the time she shoots the second one, everybody cheers in excitement. nobody is surprised though. piper looks over to where tyler is sitting. he is clapping and seems pretty impressed.

tyler’s pov

do y’all know what’s boring? waiting for a basketball game, when you don’t have much friends to talk to.

but ever since i saw that girl make more that one three pointers and make both free throws, i started paying attention. it wasn’t as boring.

i believe her name is...pipe? wait- no. why would someone name their kid pipe? maybe it’s pie... pier?? no.. none of those are actual names. maybe...piper? that’s an actual name.

if that’s her name, it’s really pretty. but dude! she is wickedly talented at basketball! i could never. i’m quaking.

sometimes i see her in school, but she doesn’t look to be very fond of me. it seems as if she doesn’t like me or something. all the people i meet like me, well i mean they like me as a person. they all think i’m the best at basketball, when honestly, i think this piper girl is better than me.

i’ve also noticed that she’s really supportive of her team. most team members are supportive, but not like her. i think that’s really nice.

okay now i just wanna talk to her.

maybe she’ll stay for my game.

...eh probably not.

but just maybe!

oh yeah that’s right....

i’m singing the national anthem....

yay...

i really don’t know if people actually think i’m a good singer. i just came to this school like 2 weeks ago, and a lot has happened since then. first, they just let me on the basketball team for some reason. and let me remind you, that was way after tryouts were held.

and then, they just ask me to sing the national anthem. i sang like ONCE, and they were like ‘dudeee! you gotta sing for everyone. forget the instrumental track, we want you!’

seriously, i don’t get how everyone loves me all the sudden. oh except pipe. oh- i mean piper. man, i’m really bad with names. i’m still not entirely sure if that’s her actual name. anyways, the only time i saw her acknowledge me was like today, and she seemed completely offended by me. what did i do wrong, you ask? i don’t know what the heck i did wrong. i haven’t even spoken to her. i want to though. she looks pretty sick.

“tyler! come on!” the new coach (which happens to be my dad) yells. i notice that the girls’ game is almost over. my team is warming up, and i’m still on the benches! what is wrong with me...

i run over to my teammates and start warming up with them.

“bro what were you doing?”

i shrug. “just watching the game.”

“dude why? the girls are wimps!” one of them chimes in.

“no, not if one of them is a frikin’ beast at the sport. besides, they have one of the best coaches. i mean, besides my dad.” i say

“true...”

“yeah.” i said.

“but she’s not as good as you.”

i shake my head. “have you seen how many three pointers she’s made today?”

they all laugh. “yeah right man! girls don’t make three pointers!”

“gosh y’all are so sexist! she made at least 5. and that’s really good for a girl.” i say, starting to grow a bit annoyed at my mostly sexist teammates.

“oh whatever.” one says, while all of them scoff.

“tyler you’re up! go!” my dad said, as i realized that our game was just about to start. and yes, i’m singing the national anthem. not that i’m scared of singing in front of people, i’m okay with it, but i’m not the best with attention per say.

as i make it to my designated spot where the microphone is, i meet up with another dude that’s singing with me. i know he has a much deeper voice than me, so he’ll sing the low harmony. wait a sec...i already know this, we rehearsed it already.

i scan the crowd in hopes to see if piper might still be here, and to my surprise, she is in fact, still here. she’s on the very right of the bleachers, in the middle section.

it’s like she’s standing out to me, i don’t know how.

i have a higher vocal range than the average man. it just comes naturally. when the time comes, i open my mouth and the words start flowing out of my mouth to the music.

piper’s POV

we end up winning our game (hehe thanks to me). i asked my mom if i can stay for the boys game. don’t ask why. she said yes, so here i am waiting on the bleachers.

tyler joseph runs up to the mic with another dude that’s taller than him. “now will you all rise as we sing the national anthem.” the announcer says. everybody stands up, including me, and the boys start singing.

now i didn’t know that tyler could be a basketball champ, and a singer. because dang, he has a voice. this really reminds me of high school musical. he is a literal troy bolton!

and maybe you can be gabriella...

what? no! for one, i can’t sing, and two, gabriella didn’t play basketball in the movies.

ugh fine. worth a shot though.

yeah, a bad shot.

now let’s see if this guy is any good.

time skip :D

okay so yes, i can see what everybody is talking about. this dude it good as heck. man, you should have seen how much three pointer shots he got. there were a lot. seriously i need to talk to him, my mind changed. this guy sparks my interest, if you know what i mean.

right as i’m leaving the brown haired boy comes to me.

“um...can i help you?” i ask.

“are you piper?” he asks.

oh wow, how does he already know about me? do people still know who i am? did i not get kicked out of the spotlight?

“yes, and i’m assuming you’re tyler?”

“yeah, i just wanted to say good job tonight, it was pretty impressive.” he complements you.

“thanks, but i’m not nearly as good as you.” i say, and of course it’s true.

he flashes a smile at me, which is actually very charming. “thanks. but really, you should see yourself. you killed it.”

“but really, i could say the same about you.” i state, mimicking him.

“nah. anyways, it was pretty sick seeing you tonight.”

“yeah, see you later.” i say as i awkwardly walk away.

he’s nice, isn’t he?

THE END

hey guys! here i am with another post! i hope you liked it :)

and also, pls like and comment what you think!! i’d love some feedback!

[mentalcurls]

5. Cosa ti eccita?

Episode 5, we’re almost halfway throught the season! This time I talk about that thing Martino says, mother-daughter relationships and my journey to empathizing with Edoardo Incanti (for now) as well as the results of the Bechdel test for this episode, of course!

this episode start so nicely: Martino talking shit about each and every one of Eva’s friends

he manages to be racist, sizeist, a slut shamer, classist and sexist and misogynist all in one sentence with this lovely bunch of derogatory definitions; plus he’s an asshole in general and unsupportive of Eva

Elia is right there with him laughing at all that, probably Peccio is too, Gio maybe cracked a smile, but don’t think for a second that anything but Eva’s face and the thought of the conversation they need to have held him back (I’d like to take this opportunity to remind y’all Gio in this remake isn’t as interested in politics as Jonas is in the og)

this is , from what I read online (I only watched S1 months after it aired), one of those scenes that made people angry and I can see why. It wouldn’t have been enough for me to stop watching, but I get why some people did. I do agree that a scene like that shouldn’t not bother you. I am angry that things like the ones Marti says are accepted without comment, that nobody taught him better, that none of the characters have been taught better, much less better enough for any of them to shut Marti up and confront him about the shit he just said; Eva knows it’s wrong, but she doesn’t even try to explain why to him, because she doesn’t have the words to and she feels like it’s be pointless. Eleonora might have been able to confront him and shut him up with one of her vitriolic answers, but it would have been met most likely with “Oh, burn” comments by the other guys. It’s what it’s like in Italy and I don’t think a show that has professes to be as realistic as possible should be attacked for portraying the realistic comments dumb, ignorant boys make or for not forcing a scene when one of the characters is suddenly knowledgeable and eloquent enough to confront all the issues in Marti’s statement. This are 16 years old. I’m Italian and I was “woke”-ish at 16, kept up with politics even, but I don’t think I’d have been able to to it. What Skam Italia did, in my opinion, to counteract Martino’s words in this scene, is show us that his definitions are false, narrow-minded and based on prejudice by giving us an in into these girls lives. No-one can watch Skam and believe Marti’s words. Unfortunately, in a realistic show set in Italy, that’s all we can ask for.

this is also one of the first times we hear Marti discuss girls with the guys and it projects me straight to ep.1 of S2, when we have the “buste di piscio” comment. For all we love our baby deer Martino Rametta like it’s our collective firstborn and we would die for him, he’s a misogynistic fucker sometimes; thankfully by the end of S2 he’s grown up quite a bit (and I hope and pray that the combo of Filippo, Sana and Niccolò will make him grow even more by the next time we see him).

on a lighter note, IL PECCIO IS IN THIS SCENE, IN THE FLESH!

“Tell me what’s the problem” “I don’t have a problem” “Eh, me neither” YEAH guys, that’s why you’re so warm and affectionate

Giovanni, you hypocrite. You complained you don’t want to be one of those couples that are attached to the hip and you acted like Eva was always bothering you, so you told her to make friends; now she has friends, she’s stopped always catering to you and only you, and you’re gonna act mad? You wanted your cake, honey, now eat it!

so is that “You can stay, the guys are gonna go in a bit” thing Gio trying to build a bridge or him beginning the prep for the lie about wanting to go to dinner with Eva’s parents and then bailing on them to get back at her? On one hand, I don’t want to believe my dear Giovanni Garau would do that, on the other this particular set of circumstances with Eva brings out some of his worst traits

ok, I understand Eva and Eleonora want to know why Sana got mad and threw her drink at Laura to empathize with her properly, since they also are not her biggest fans, but their being really oblivious to Sana’s loud “stop bothering me!” signals

“I had to run away like an idiot thanks to you” actually, Silvia, he left you there like an idiot, while he went to be “the big bad man of the house who will solve all the problems” (btw was the house even his? wasn’t it Chicco Rodi’s party, why was it at Edoardo’s place?)

anyways, the reason Silvia is so mad is because what Sana did is so far from the prim and proper, low-maintenance girl Silvia is trying to be, in Edoardo’s eyes especially, and she’s terrified he’s gonna lump her in with her friend, who’s already difficult enough on her own because she insists on being different

aaaaand Silvia goes for the racist insult; at least this time the other girls tell her to calm down and Ele seems pretty ready to give her a piece of her mind, though she stops at the last minute cause she seems to think that while Silvia is this mad she’s a lost cause

SILVIA ACTUALLY GOT A TEXT instead of sending one, Sana would almost be proud

YAS SKAM ITALIA GIVING INFORMATION ABOUT CONTRACEPTIVES

I mean, sex ed is not bad about sexual health and contraceptives here but it’s always good to show “actual” kids being careful

of course, they’re only half careful, given that they’re thinking of unwanted pregnancies, while ignoring the very real risk of venereal diseases, given that they’re talking about unprotected sex with a boy who’s notoriously promiscuous

still, I want to stress how this is a conversation between girls only; the “burden” of thinking about contraception always falls on girls’ shoulders: Silvia doesn’t think for a minute Edoardo might bring and not mind using a condom and just knows she’s the one who needs to be worrying about contraception; Eva took the pill and is now using the ring so we know she’s the one who’s been taking care of contraception in her relationship with Gio, too. It takes two to tango ladies, so why the fuck do we excuse male half of the couple from this part of sex??

honestly, it’s midday so Eva should get out of bed, but that piece of crostata isn’t the kind of thing I’d wake up for

oh, what a beautiful mother-daughter relationship! I’m kidding, but also not. It’s obvious Eva’s mum is not at home much, but she makes an effort to be there as much as she can: she keeps up with her grades, she badgers Eva so she’ll study and when she has some free time even offer to revise together, she brings her breakfast in bed, she’s there to listen when Eva confides in her. She probably feels bad she’s not up to date with Eva’s personal life and guilty that she’s not there for her daughter as much as she wants to be. And Eva screams at her like a proper teenager, but then she does a beautiful thing and actually apologizes, saying the words “I’m sorry”, and despite still lying she tells her mom a bit about herself (sure, there’s external pressure for her to do so in the form of Gio and of her new friends who want to come by her place, but still), she opens up, she communicates, which is really good cause she seems to have good parents, who for example don’t freak out at the mention of a boyfriend but ask her first and foremost if she’s happy

and Eva, what’s the point of saying “Yes, I’m happy” and looking anything but? You be thankful your mom takes it for embarrassment, cause you were not convincing

aaaand Gio hasn’t gotten any lately because of the fight so he’s horny, cute

Gio meets Eleonora! And it’s absolutely uneventful, but then again, it would be: even considering Marti’s classification, she’s not the weirdest and she’s the least interesting out of the girl squad to Gio, cause he’s already getting some, so he doesn’t care that she doesn’t put out

what is interesting is Gio’s worried face when the free clinic gets mentioned: dude, if maybe you were more involved in contraception and collaterals in your own relationship, then maybe your first reaction wouldn’t be worry

the “Prima volta?” lady cracks me up (also, in case anybody doesn’t know, she’s the same person that asks Marti if Nico’s bottle of antidote is a bomb in S2 ep. 7 and - I’ve read somewhere - the stylist of the series)

when Silvia huffed and looked put out at the mention of the clinic on the bus, I was unsure whether it was a fear thing or a “tsk, plebeians” thing, but it appears she’s genuinely scared: girl, why? I get being embarrassed, uncomfortable, but she’s more nervous than if she was taking the maturità exams

Silvia is not mad at anybody, much less Sana, because good, low-maintenance girls don’t get angry, don’t cause commotions, they’re graceful and compassionate and forgiving and nuisances simply don’t exist for them

the doctor is actually so helpful! in the og she was 99% comic relief, 1% actually helpful, but this doctor is nice and warm and encouraging

Silvia’s terrified/disgusted face when presented with a dildo, that’s not a girl who looks ready to have sex

at least Fede seems puzzled but interested

Silvia just seems so dumb in this scene: she doesn’t speak for herself, she is absolutely floored when faced with a sex toy and a condom, she seems to think that taking the pill for to days actually works as contraception, she doesn’t think of asking Eva to use her home to meet up with Edoardo before telling him yes... tbh she almost looks like she’s a bit drunk

still, she just knows how to manipulate people to get her way. She even brings the doctor on her side.

“Do you think it’ll hurt?” considering how unsure and worried you are, YES

Eleonora changing topics as soon as her sex life is brought into question 😏 but also, her lost face when Eva says sex shouldn’t hurt except maybe a bit at the beginning

THANK YOU ELEONORA SAVA FOR SAYING THE IMPORTANT THINGS THAT NEED TO BE SAID

the disgusted face Silvia makes at the word “turned on”???

ok, how good is it to see girls in media talking about sex and about their fantasies without any shaming whatsoever? (The comparison between getting turned on by clothes and animals played for comedy is a bit unfortunate, but imo it doesn’t ruin the positive, accepting mood of the scene)

*Regina George voice* Silvia, stop trying to make jello happen!

ok, so, my secondhand embarrassment levels are always through the roof during this scene

look how taken aback Eva’s mom looks when she sees Edoardo! He definitely looks nothing like the third year boy she pictured when she imagined Eva’s boyfriend, I mean, she was thinking more along the lines of Laura’s boyfriend, that nice boy Giovanni she’d met that one time…

oh, but poor Edoardo too, he’s planning for a one night stand and suddenly he has to deal with parents?? This was not the plan. Does this annoying, kind of pretty girl who wants to sleep with him think he’s her boyfriend or something? What a nightmare. Oh, wait, she’s not even here, is she toying with him in a misguided attempt at playing hard to get? Wait, she wanted him to go to dinner with her parents? Is this some kind of prank? Did he get the wrong house? WTF

AND THE DAD ARRIVES OH GOD when fathers get involved the situation usually escalates, you can feel Edoardo going “Nope. Nope. Think, Edo. Get out of this NOW.”

ok, the redhead he vaguely remembers from the party, great, now can she explain him what’s going on? No, she’s telling him he needs to leave and slamming the door in his face. (Also, first appearance of the boss Eva we see at Silvia’s 80s party in S2, hello gorgeous!)

and Silvia is hiding on the stairs. Which is cute and not at all “sfigate allucinanti”-like (see ep.3). Just like telling a guy to come over but not at your actual place isn’t. It’s fine having to ask your friend to borrow her place, having to sneak in, having sex in a house you don’t know and where you need to be careful not leave signs of your presence, on the bed where your friend sleeps, with her photos on the wall, her knick-knacks on the shelves, her clothes in the closet. It’s totally cool. Even when the guy you’re having sex with is polite and gets there a few minutes early, so he accidentally meets your friend’s parents and nearly panics and definitely learns this is not your place, you know, that’s stuff that happens and it’s absolutely cool. He just calls you crazy.

so really, I never thought I’d see the day, but I empathize with Edoardo Incanti and I understand him ghosting Silvia (not the whole “Who are you again?” conversation, just the ghosting) because she’s clearly in too deep, he’s know that since her first string of texts, and she’s doing borderline creepy things like borrowing her friend’s house to have sex in? And Edoardo is not interested in a girlfriend, much less a stalker, so he just goes for the path of least resistance and disappears, hoping she’ll get over it soo. (Except of course she doesn’t and she confronts him, so really, what’s the best way not to give her any stupid hope? Being cruel. And that’s what he does.)

back to Eva, Gio cancels and Eva TURNS HIS OWN “Non ho parole “ BACK ON HIM how wild

side note, I honestly really really would have wanted to see Paola’s reaction when, at some point, Eva tells her she was dating Giovanni; I just can’t decide what she’d think

Bechdel test: the episode passes the test. We have Eva and Ele pestering Sana about the fight at the party, then the two of the and Silvia discussing the pill, the conversation about Sana’s father’s patient’s restaurant outside the gyno’s office at the clinic and finally there’s a good 75% of the conversation in Eva’s bedroom, between Silvia, Ele, Fede and Eva herself, that actually passes the test. There’s just a couple of mentions of Edoardo in the middle.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[doubled-helix]

book thoughts: the hearts we sold (spoilers)

the hearts we sold, emily lloyd-jones

(disclaimer: all of this is my opinion because i decided it’s better for my own writing to reflect upon books i read (thanks college profs). in fact, i’m not even putting it in the main tags so no one should be reading this except future me anyways)

overarching conflict: all books should have one of these. usually it’s to defeat the big bad, which doesn’t quite fit this novel since there wasn’t one defined big bad. i mean, there were the burrowers, which were pretty creepy, but i’m personally fond of the classic puppetmaster villain, who pulls the strings and monologues and bemoans the state of the world or whatnot. think the mage in carry on or luke/kronos in the pjo series. call me old-fashioned. 

my prof told us that books, especially sci-fi/fantasy ones, should have a looming threat that’s constantly hanging over the heroes even as they defeat or are defeated by many smaller threats. like harry facing quirrel, tom riddle/the basilisk, the dementors/sirius black/peter pettigrew (the “one true baddie” was a bit more vague in thisone) - all the while knowing that voldemort’s the final boss. 

in this book, i guess you could say the final big void was the ultimate baddie, but considering neither our main gal nor us knew about this until three quarters of the way through the book, it wasn’t exactly a looming threat, even as the characters did close many smaller voids (the in-between threats books have - the ones between the exposition and climax). i say a bit more about this later, but i think the lack of a dominant big bad may be one of the reasons the book felt stagnant for a good portion of the first half. this, combined with the lack of strong motive dee had - well. it certainly slowed things down. 

things that didn’t work: 1. the “team”: i’m a sucker for a tight-knit group of people who’d kill to protect each other, who poke fun and laugh and joke around à la avatar the last airbender. i’m even more of a sucker for found families, also like avatar the last airbender. but this book’s “team” absolutely did not work for me, and the most probable cause i can think of is that the author just didn’t let us spend enough time with them. 

the main dude james had been with cal and cora for almost two years, and i got none of that from the way he talked about them. in fact, main gal dee actually says that she’s glad james and her have a closer bond than the other two - which, sure, romance, i get it, but if you want to make a dream team you can’t throw half of its members into the wind. 

when cal died, that evoked nothing in me as a reader because i cared about him as much as dee did, and she maybe shared 20 lines total with the guy. similarly, she barely interacted with cora, who was supposed to be the leader, but other than the author telling us that she was the “leader,” there was nothing showing her fulfilling that role. i absolutely hate saying this because it’s the most cliche advice one can offer but “show not tell.” if you want to show a fall from grace, from cool and collected cora to frantic and panicking cora, you gotta show us the grace first. 

riley: don’t get me wrong, i fucking love riley, but she didn’t show up until 70% of the way through the book. and there was a sort of insta-friendship between her, james, and dee. at one point towards the end, she says something like “if we die tonight, i’m glad i met you two” which would be very nice if they hadn’t met 20 pages ago. (i feel like i should note, a few weeks did pass world-wise, but that really doesn’t do much for the reader, who didn’t get to feel any of that time)

it would have been fantastic to have riley with us from the very beginning. her relationship with james and dee felt like it actually had the potential to blossom into that dream team/found family thing. cal and cora felt like they had their own separate lives, which is fantastic in reality because no one should spend all their time with a single group of people, but the thing about stories in my experience is that to be effective, everything - every interaction or desire or situation - should be Too Much. 

also, riley seemed a little too cool with everything that was happening. it took dee at least a few weeks to accept the whole voids and homunculus and world-ending thing, but riley was like “fantastic, let’s do this, i can blow things up” which was a bit sudden. 

cora: i mentioned already how she was the “leader” but didn’t really do anything to show that, but also - i felt like we were supposed to feel sorry for her, or at least understand her motives, but i got absolutely none of that. she killed cal, who i didn’t feel much for, but it was still fairly unforgivable, and she never had an act of redemption. i’ll talk about this later, but i feel like james’s sacrifice at the end should have been hers. she wanted “everyone to live,” that was her motive. sacrificing herself would have been the loop to close her character arc, instead of her just dropping out of the story completely. and speaking of motive...

2. the motive: oh boy, i don’t even think i have authority to talk about this because “motive” is a biggie. they have entire writing courses dedicated to character motives. i read a post a while back that said something to the like of “every character should want something and should want it to the point of obsession.” 

going on my avatar the last airbender comparison (that show’s story is literally my baseline for everything else i read or watch), every character in that show wants something desperately. aang’s is easy - he wants to learn the other three elements and save the world. katara, at least in the first season, is completely focused on mastering waterbending. zuko - capture the avatar, regain his honor (and this one’s definitely an obsession). my point is, if your characters don’t want something desperately, there is no story.

now applying that to this story is a bit tricky because the premise is that these people did want something strongly, strong enough to sell their hearts for it. dee wanted money for boarding school, wanted to get out of her awful home situation. and the daemon gives it to her - the first thing, at least. and then for at least 100 pages, it was like she was just being pulled along with anything that happened, without any intense desire of her own. i felt this most strongly when she was out collecting rocks with james. i understand it was a bonding scene, etc. but goddamn. rocks? it just felt a bit shoehorned in, like there needed to be a good reason for the two to start hanging out that was at least semi-work related.

for a moment, i thought dee’s motive would become trying to break out of the deal, to join cora and end it all - it certainly seemed like she was freaked out enough to do it. but something magical healing romance-esque happened and afterwards, she seemed cool with accepting that she had no other choice. i understand she wasn’t a voluntary hero, but it still feels a bit stale when the savior of humankind is doing it not even to save her own skin or that of her friends, but out of sheer obligation. (however, i will give it to her, there was a nice little scene on the bus towards the end where dee was people-watching, and the part at the very end where she said that she did believe that people were inherently good, what a great development from beginning of the book dee)

things that kinda worked 1. the romance: okay, i understand that “kinda worked” doesn’t sound like the most glowing review for a romance, but from me, it’s practically a declaration of adoration. more often than not, romance in young adult novels just do not work for me, whether because it’s instalove or some love triangle’s at play or the  premise is just problematic. but this one? ehhh, i can’t say i hate it.

james, thank god, is not the dark, angsty, “why are you even speaking to me” male love interest (four, i’m describing four from divergent) that i feel like i see too much. he’s funny, a bit dorky, super big on consent, and basically a sweetheart. the author obviously took some care in building up their relationship a bit before taking it to a romance - though in the process, i think she had to give up a lot of development dee could have had with cora and cal. 

their little fairy tale research road trip was actually one of my favorite parts of the book (i’ll talk about this more later). i did, however, groan every time dee became hyperfocused about the oh-so-scandalous fact of being in a car with a boy, sleeping in the same hotel room as a boy, blah blah with a boy. and i facepalmed quite a bit at the extended hesitancy dee had about calling james her boyfriend. i understand why she hesitated (trust issues, negative body image), but it doesn’t mean i have to like it. which leads me to this next thing.

2. character’s response to abuse: let me preface this by saying that i absolutely despise child abuse as a plot device. this is a personal opinion,  i’m not going to get on any high horse and preach about moral quandaries. 90% of the time, i just don’t like it. a lot of this is because i feel most of the time, the character never gets to confront their abuse - never gets the chance to recognize “oh, what happened to me wasn’t right, and a lot of the negative thoughts i have about myself stem from this abuse, and i should not let it define me.” and more often than i like in ya novels, especially for female victims of child abuse, it’s their male love interest who runs in and beats up their abuser/yells at them about how they were a horrible person, which really doesn’t grant the victim any catharsis at all, and i hate how often that is portrayed as “romantic” or a good way to deal with abusers. 

this book, well. let me just say that dee finally standing up to her father about his alcoholism and telling her parents that when THEY finally decided to change, they knew where to find her - that was some good shit. there was a bit when james came running in that i covered my face and went “oh no, here it goes” but to my pleasant surprise, all he did was support dee and didn’t try to insert himself into the situation at all, which was, you know, fantastic. and gremma casually pulling a fire ax out of her purse in front of dee’s parents? lesbian solidarity.

the thing i disliked the most would have to be dee’s image of herself due to the abuse. i understand you don’t need to overcome trauma solo, but i do wish that she could have realized that she didn’t need to be thin or that she wasn’t broken without james telling her so. also, there was that one line where she tried to minimize her abuse - which i know is a common thing for victims of abuse but once again, i don’t have to like it - and james had to talk her out of it that made me groan. i just generally dont think dealing with the effects of abuse should be anywhere near romance, let alone hand in hand like so many books like to treat it. 

3. the sacrifice: i pride myself on not being easily surprised by books anymore, but i did not expect james to die. and i definitely felt something when that package of harry potter books and dee’s picture and the ct scan of the brain tumor arrived in the penultimate chapter. and i hate to be that person, but...

james got his heart back before the final void opened. he could have not been there, like cora. which means the daemon would have still needed him. why didn’t he just sell his heart once more in exchange for the daemon removing his tumor? sure, this way, i have no idea how they would have gotten out of the manual timer thing - then again, who knows if they would have been so targeted if james had not been carrying the heart into the void in the first place, but i still think the sacrifice should have belonged to cora, who definitely required some sort of redemption act if we wanted her to matter to the story in any way. it could’ve been a nice scene -  a “i couldn’t save cal but hell if i’m going to let you two die” act of closure. really, i keep going back to my grievance over how utterly insignifigant cal and cora felt to the story, especially compared to riley, who only jumped in near the end. 

things that worked 1. diversity: can i get a fucking hell yeah?? i’m so goddamn happy that more and more ya novels are recognizing that the world isn’t full of beautiful white straight people. our main gal dee is half-latino, we have a badass lesbian lady who carries axes in her purse, a fucking awesome trans girl who blows shit up (the fact that she doesn’t show up until near the end is a travesty), and our latter two ladies have a cute as hell romance that i wish we saw more of. side character romance is always more awesome because it doesn’t have the kind of baggage that really kills the vibe of main character romances. 

just - diversity.

2. the research road trip scenes: okay, this is very specific. but i’ve watched far too much supernatural for it to be healthy, and james and dee’s little road trip where they ate bad diner food and spent time at the library reading about old fairy tales and old gods and speculated about angels - i just got such a strong supernatural feeling from it. more specifically, the parts where they have no idea what monster they’re hunting and are flipping through old books to figure it out. it had some really calming good vibes, i loved all the speculation and discussion of how people in the past processed magic. no fancy analysis here, it just really resonated with me. 

final rating: 3 out of 5 stars 

note: it would have been 2.5, but the ending surprising me and making me Feel Things really bumped it up. also, writing this ridiculously long review made me feel more invested and charitable. 

[thebachrehash]

I don’t mind being assertive, I’m a Wilhelmina model

Ladies and gents, it’s time for the prerequisite “Shout the Bach’s name from the balcony” intro.  “Becaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

We immediately jump in with the always charming Chris Harrison handing out the first group date card reading, “Ready for my big day.”

Clay, Nick, Chris, David, Jean Blanc, Jordan, Connor, and Lincoln cheese grin their way to meet Becca at a mansion with her in a (gorg) white dress.  She let’s them know that she wants to pamper the men like she was on her first date with Arie... because that went well.  The men drop trou and Becca is officially ready to get back in the game.  She calls Lincoln a block of muscle.  Jordan, while doing the “pensive”, let’s her know that he is a male model, and that the largest tip he could give her any day is to put the confidence on in the morning before her panty hose.  Not sure who’s wearing panty hose these days (besides my mom - hi, Kath!), but now we know.

The men roll out in their tuxes, to the poor man’s version of a Survivor obstacle course and are greeted by the poor man’s version of Ashton and Mila - Rachel and “not-Peter”, Bryan.  They’re there to help host “Groomsday”, and they warn they will have to get dirtay.

In order to see if the men have what it takes to be marriage material, they will go through a strange obstacle course complete with standing in a cold tub of water and eating cake without their hands.  Rachel (dirty, dirty girl) shouts it’s important to see, “what that mouth do.”  Connor gets the largest kick out of it, as he sends it to Barstool.

Lincoln is in it to win it to reach his “beautiful princess” Becca.  He is cheating.  He is cheating blatantly.  But, there are no rule keepers, this is the f’ing Bach.  Well, there are no rule keepers except for tattle tale Chris who knows that he got in the bucket after him and left before him.

In a really messy battle for the finishline, Lincoln beats out Chicken David.  He gets to plant a kiss on Becca and they take their wedding day picture.  Seems innocent enough.  If only it was.

Chris Harrison let’s them all know that EVERYONE will be able to attend the rest of the group date.  Ya hear that Krystal.

So the men all convene at a round couch, and Lincoln steals his “wife” immediately as they “just got married”.  He says something like, “she would only get the best from him when she gives her best and that makes them the best and he wants nothing more for her than the best.”  Becca goes, “Hmmm, well that’s nice, I have something for you.”  Thinking it’s the rose, Lincoln sits up all ready for Santa to come down the chimney.  Instead, Becca brings a photo from their wedding day.  It’s cute and Lincoln is very excited.

Lincoln returns to the men a smitten kitten and shares something about unicorns and Pegasus and a pot of gold, and prominently displays his prized possession, his photo of the two of them.

Connor is NOT having this.  He thinks it’s a slap in the face that he would put this picture out.  Bro, needs to chill a bit, but Lincoln is weird and being extra,

Meanwhile, Becca is bonding with the men.  

Chris woos her in telling her that he wants to treat her the way he treats his mom and sister.  David wants to be pushed intellectually and she couldn’t agree more.  Clay is here for her and he wants her to get to know the real him.  

Back at the couch, Lincoln is now kissing the picture of him and Becca.  Connor throws it.  Lincoln picks it up.  Connor finally opens the door and frisbees it into the pool.

Lincoln, just a little dramatically, proclaims that his heart is broken.  He starts to tear up, he was looking forward to sharing this with his mom.  Picturegate has begun.

Back in the private lounge our Jean Blanc must be spraying some special, soothing scents onto Miss Becca.  He lets her know that she is the missing part of his life and that she makes him feel so special.  He takes all the courage from his ck one spritz, and tells her the only thing more beautiful than her smile is her lips.  They smooch.  

Before Becca can make it back to the other men, she is stopped by Lincoln.  He lets her know that, not only did he lose his beloved picture, but he feels threatened physically.  what.is.going.on

Becca pulls Connor aside on what has become a date in a pre-school.  She is over it.  She wonders if Connor is a roid-rager slash if this is his regular reaction.  He agrees that it was way over the top.  She said she’ll take some time to think about it, but it’s probably not the best time to get to know one another.

Becca gathers them all together and says it had definitely been an interesting and revealing night.  Jean Blanc gets the group date rose.  He tells her to pin it on the leather, “he don’t even care.”  He’s so excited, it’s v. cute.

It’s time for Blake’s one on one date.

He’s pumped that he gets to roll out in a limo instead of on an ox.  Small pleasures.

Becca fills him in that she has no idea what they’ll be doing as Chris Harrison planned this one.  They get to the area that is a “little run down” and see Chris with a sledgehammer waiting for them.  They’re asked to put on little work jumpers (Becca’s complete with a belt from Charming Charlie), helmets and Tims.  Then, they’re both given their own sledgehammers.

They go inside and “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!” 

This is where everything from Arie’s season went to die.  Chris and, um what?!? Lil Jon let them know that they’re gonna get to destroy everything in the room.  Immediately Becca climbs that racecar and smashes in the windows.  This is FABULOUS.  

Carrie Underwood would be proud.

I have zero idea why Lil Jon is there, but am so VERY happy that Blake is a “huge fan of his”.  Sure you are Blakey boy.

The two of them proceed to make the whitest rap video ever, and Blake is so happy to see Becca so happy. I am cheese grinning my way through watching it.

Post wrecking crew, they sit down to dinner.  They’re ridiculously comfortable with each other for just the first date.  Blake shares his heartbreak over his most recent relationship where he thought he was with the one.  In positive news, he said it was worth it, because now he knows what he wants, and knows that he is capable of loving like that.  Becca empathizes. I am having a hard and fast therapy session with both of them.  Through the pain, they have found so much strength that they never knew was in there.  I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Blake clearly gets the rose, and states to the camera: “I have no idea how Arie let her go.”  I love him.

It’s time for the second group date of the week... “Love comes at you hard and fast.”  

Well it comes hard and fast, except for poor Jason and Mike who are the only dateless men of the week.

The men for Group date #2 (Alex, Christon, Colton, Garrett, John, Leo, Rickey, Ryan, Trent, and Wills), board a school bus and head to a gym where they are greeted with some fabulous, tyrannical child actors.

Becca, in her 24387948th metallic outfit of the season, informs that the men that they are going to be playing some good old-fashioned dodgeball.  But first, these children will warm them up a la suicides (can we call them that anymore?!?) and pelting them with 70 mph dodgeballs; all while calling them TRASHHHHHH and somehow still making fun of Arie.  These kids are amaze.

They get set for the game, and the team with Becca all make the wise choice to hide behind her.  However, Christon don’t give a F and proceeds to belt Becca a number of times.  Spoiler alert: this doesn’t work out well for him in the end.

The men and Becca then move on to skyzone, where they’re to play a large game of trampoline dodgeball in front of a v. confused crowd, Chris Harrison, and Fred Willard.  Why tho?

Poor, pretty haired Leo is flying through the air and is in all his stuntman glory.  However, the rest of his team, complete with a former pro football player, suck to high heavens.  He is continually the only man left standing.  After three rounds, the green team wins and gets a trophy.

In probably his only soundbite of the season, Alex snarkly asks if it’s cool to display the trophy to the pink team.  Somewhere back at the ranch, Lincoln is crying again.

Becca gets her alone time with the men.  Garrett and her dork out together, Leo gets a little romantical, and she compliments Wills style while he almost tears up talking about his parents’ 50th anniversary coming up.  They share a kiss, and I think he kind’ve gave her his varsity jacket.

But, it wouldn’t be a group date without a bombshell.  

Pretty boy Colton fesses up that he had a former relationship with Weiner, Arkansas Tia.  Becca is visibly shook and doesn’t really know what to think.  Did he come on the Bach hoping it would actually be Tia?  Is he a fame whore?  Is he a whore?

So many questions.

In the end, she gives the group date Rose to Wills and his uneven scruff.  He’s happy, and Colton is nervous he’s gonna get the boot.

It’s time for the cocktail hour, and Becca is trying to not question what the f is wrong with all of these dudes.  She said she’s a lot more emotional than she thought she would be.

Clay pulls her outside to show her how he would celebrate scoring a touchdown.  Somehow he makes this boring, but he does score a kiss.  Me, and all of America, can name at least 10 other tight ends we would rather see on this show right now.  I’m looking at you, Gronk.

Venmo John pulls her aside and they make out.  Connor puts his tail between his legs and gives her a picture of him.  It breaks the ice and i think they’re cool now.

Chicken David is having what seems like a decently lovely conversation when Jordan decides it’s time to parade around in his undies and a pink furry blankie.  Jordan interrupts and Becca is questioning Jordan.  Is this a joke?  

Post convo, Chicken David confronts Jordan and stutters when telling him he was being disingenuous.  Jordan chooses this time to not only correct him, but to inform David that he’s the one being in-genuine-titty.

For the record, Jordan would also like everyone to know that he doesn’t want to be misrepresented as 007 all the time.  He likes to live life on the edge, but while doing so he likes to have well kept hair.  He’s multi-dimensional.  He doesn’t mind being assertive, he is in FACT a Wilhelmina model.  And he’d like to think he’d score a little higher than a typical male model on “that” test.  

So, he wouldn’t light the cig at the gas station while sipping on his orange mocha frappuccino?  You be the judge.

Before handing out the roses, Becca lets Colton know that she needs more clarity before getting to know him further.  She has to think a bit.  Colton is scared he’s going home.  Obvs, he would NEVER, well not until we can get Tia to come on a date and make this some good tv.

At the rose ceremony we say good-bye to Alex (and that SUPER sad tearful good-bye), Christon (that’s what you get for pelting her with a dodgeball), Rickey and Trent.

Power Rankings

1 - Blake (+2) - Solid connection, I heart him

2 - Wills (+2) - There’s something there... he’s chill, and a fab dresser

3 - Garrett (-2) - Dropping for air time and his scandalous likes on the gram

4 - Jean Blanc (+9) - Coming in hot and smelling good too

5 - Chris (+10) - Coming back hot from being the tattle tale in Episode 1

6 - Leo (+6) - Thiiiiis close to getting the group date rose this week

7 - Colton (-5) - Bringing the drama with the Tia card, and yet still having a v-card?  There’s no way he’s going anywhere soon.

8 - Jason (+1) - No date, but played it calm and cool

9 - Lincoln (-3) - I mean, they got married, but I want him to go

10 - Jordan (+1) - Literally, NOTHING in common, but I’ll keep him for his confidence and commentary

11 - Clay (-4) - Yawning

12 - John (-2) - Cashed in on a make-out... I’m impressed

13 - David (-5) - He’s geeky, but trying

14 - Mike (+5) - Tim Riggins is due for some time next week

15 - Connor (+1) - picturegate is over?!?!

16 - Nick (+5) - Hanging in the background

17 - Ryan (-) - Get your banjo out and play it man!

[lordsicheng]

3 is a Charm: Pt. 4

Justin Huang x Yoo Seonho x OC

Genre: Very fluffy, best friends AU

You walked your way back home because you really didn’t feel like talking to Seonho, Justin, and maybe even Guanlin. You pouted at the thought of wanting to like Guanlin but you knew he probably wasn’t interested in you in any way.

“Boys suck.” you muttered under your breath as you waited for the bus

“Tell me about it.” an old lady chuckled as she sat next to you, making you smile a bit

“I just don’t get it, why do they keep so many things from us women?” you furrowed your brows and crossed your arms

“I don’t know. Even my ex-husband tried keeping the other woman from me for over five years, and I find out on the second year. He tried so hard to keep the marriage but I left him, and here I am. Already on my third year of being single and I love it!” she laughed as she looked at you

“Oh I’m sorry…” you bit your bottom lip in embarrassment

“What are you so sorry for, dear? These things happen. It’s life. It’s just that dumb, annoying, stinkin’ little-“ she suddenly stopped and looked at you suddenly getting all uncomfortable

“Wait, how old are you?” she asked

“I’m 16…” you slowly said as you gulped

“Kids your age these days curse, but you seem polite.” she said as she patted your shoulder

“Ah, thank you… I guess…” you bowed

“The bus is here. Where are you off to?” she asked as the bus stopped right in front of both of you

“I think I’m gonna stay here for a while. I need to buy something.” you smiled as she went inside the bus, leaving you just standing at the station. You took a deep breath and walked away to a nearby convenience store where you decided to get something to eat. You looked around and saw a few packs of Pringles, which you, Seonho and Justin enjoyed a lot. You grabbed one and immediately went to the counter to pay and went out on your way, deciding to stroll your way home.

-

Guanlin looked at Seonho and Justin nervously as they stood outside your classroom waiting for you to arrive

“So, why are we here again?” Justin scratched his head

“I want to apologize to y/n.” Guanlin looked at Justin

“She’s here.” Seonho quickly whispered as he tried to act as if he didn’t see you, but you already saw the three of them look at you before they looked away

“Nice try.” you sighed and shook your head as you tried to walk past through them, Seonho stopping you with his arm

“We’re sorry.” Seonho pouted, trying to ask for forgiveness

“For what?” you glared

“I’m sorry for being annoying.” Justin looked at you, and you looked back and then looked at Guanlin

“I’m here to say sorry for…” Guanlin stopped as he looked both Justin and Seonho, confused on what he was sorry for in the first place

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. It’s these two who made me feel horrible. Now please, I need to go inside.” you pushed Seonho’s arm and passed by to get inside the classroom, Seonho looking at you in surprise

“Great, now she’s even angrier at us.” Justin frowned

“Guanlin, what are we going to do?” Seonho looked at Guanlin

“What? I got dragged into this for no reason?” Guanlin complained, sounding irritated

“He’s right. Look, if you’re gonna confess to her then at least wait until she forgives me and Seonho.” Justin crossed his arms as he leaned his back on the wall

“You guys need to apologize to her properly.” Guanlin shook his head, making Seonho and Justin look at each other

-

For the next 2 weeks, you ended up becoming closer to some of your girl friends in class, ignoring Seonho and Justin. A part of you was hurt that you decided to overlook them but you knew you wanted to have space from them. You did often look at Seonho and Justin during class, but you’d end up looking away because you knew you missed them.

They were your closest friends out of everyone and you felt betrayed that they ruined your chance on becoming closer to someone you actually liked.

One day, you decided to confront both of them on why they gave you the silent treatment and ignored you back, making you feel really sad about what was going on

“Justin?” you called as you walked over to his seat

“Mhm?” he replied as he wrote something for his notes

“I just wanted to know if-“

“Justin! Let’s go!” Seonho called as he and Guanlin got inside your classroom, you turning as soon as they arrived, making them feel a bit awkward

“Yeah, hold on.” Justin stood up as he put his notebook in his bag and put on his backpack, turning to you before he could leave

“You were saying?” Justin raised a brow

“Never mind.” you forced a smile as you turned and went back to your seat, fixing your things before you decided to head out of the classroom

“Dude, she looks miserable.” Justin whispered to Seonho

“Men have pride.” Seonho didn’t look back and just went forward

“When is this going to end?” Guanlin whispered as he tried to steal a glance of you

“Wait for it.” Seonho replied

“Hey, wait.” you suddenly called as you put on your back pack and ran towards the three before they got out of the classroom, all of them turning to look at you

“Seonho, Justin, I know I’ve been ignoring you both all because you guys did something wrong to me. I know I want to forgive you both but I kind of… felt really deceived… from you know what.” you looked down as you rubbed the side of your arm

“Guanlin? Can you excuse us?” Seonho smiled, and Guanlin just nodded as he went out of the classroom

“The fact that we’re ignoring each other is killing us too, y/n.” Justin looked at you worriedly

“Can we go back to being the three little pigs again?” you looked at them in plead, making Seonho chuckle and roll his eyes

“Come here little piggy.” Seonho hugged you as he ruffled your hair, and Justin joined in the hug as well

“Oh wait, Guanlin!” you smiled as you decided to go out and find Guanlin

“Wait!” Justin went to your front to stop you, and you just looked at him confused

“Uhm, we need to tell you something…” Seonho gulped

“What?” you looked at both of them

“Oh my God!” someone suddenly squealed outside, making Justin widen his eyes as he looked at Seonho, and you immediately ran towards the door, Justin facepalming as soon as he noticed he couldn’t stop you

“Great job, Justin!" Seonho shook his head as he followed you and Justin followed you after

-

You widened your eyes as soon as you went outside, seeing a lot of students murmur and cover their hands in awe as they saw Guanlin, smiling as he held a small teddy bear and a small bouquet of flowers, walking his way to you as you just looked at him perplexed

“I just… wanted to let you know…” Guanlin stuttered, making you blink fast as you looked at the flowers and the teddy bear

“Guanlin you little-“ Seonho called and suddenly stopped as you looked at him, suddenly frowning

“Great, you guys were behind this?” you shook your head as you turned to look at Guanlin again

“No! I… asked for their help…” Guanlin scratched the back of his head as he gave you the flowers and the small teddy bear, you looking at the other students who witnessed this giggle

“I kind of like you… but I don’t know about how you feel about me. I asked Seonho and Justin for help because I was scared you were going to run away from me because I’m so awkward…” Guanlin gulped

“You’re not awkward, though.” you muttered

“What?” Guanlin looked at you as he tilted his head

“You’re not awkward.” you smiled, making everyone coo at you suddenly blushing

“Ya! Be quiet! Let them have their moment!” Seonho complained

“Anyways, what do you think of me?” Guanlin bit his bottom lip and looked away, making you chuckle

“I don’t know, what do you guys think?” you turned to look at Justin and Seonho, and then nodded and gave the thumbs up, making you laugh

“They like you. And I guess I like you too.” you smiled and shrugged as you looked at him, and every other student almost lost it and even took photos of you and Guanlin

“Really?” Guanlin widened his eyes and gave a wide smile

“But, you’re gonna have to deal with Seonho and Justin being around with us for maybe… 60? 50 percent of the time?” you grinned

“Sure, anything for you.” Guanlin said as he looked at Seonho and Justin, who were both literally cheering on Guanlin, making you look at them and they immediately composed themselves and walked towards you

“We’re her bodyguards, so please respect us.” Seonho nodded as he looped his arm on your shoulders

“Ya, that’s Guanlin’s job!” Justin pushed Seonho’s arm off of your shoulder and instead put Guanlin’s, making you giggle

“Show’s over, everyone. Go home.” Justin waved his hands telling everyone who saw the incident, making you and the others laugh

“I didn’t get to spend pizza night for two weeks…” you pouted

“We’re going for pizza AND the arcade tonight. You down?” Seonho looked at Guanlin

“Anything for you guys.” Guanlin chuckled as he walked with you towards the stairs, leaving Seonho and Justin

“Mission accomplished.” Justin whispered to Seonho, and Seonho just nodded and gave him a high five

“Ya, are you guys coming or what?” you yelled

“Coming!” Seonho and Justin said in unison as they chuckled and ran their way down the stairs to follow you and Guanlin out of the building.

[ganymedesclock]

I know this is somewhat out of left field compared to most of the ask topics you get, but a little while ago you mentioned that you liked Skyrim, but didn't like it's writing. I was curious: why is that?

Well, thank you very much for asking!

My issue with Skyrim is, well, more or less, it’s a power fantasy.

I should clarify that almost every game gives you the option to do things that you can’t really in normal life. I can’t assemble a lovely dirt hovel in five minutes or fight zombies with a sword the way I can in Minecraft. And Skyrim has plenty of deeply enjoyable things you can do that you really can’t in normal life. Like summoning zombie horses, or accidentally jettisoning mudcrabs into low orbit because of bugs in the physics engine.

I feel like the world and writing in Skyrim, though, suffers, because there is one all-important thing it wants to do to the exclusion of all else.

It wants to flatter the player. It wants to tell you that you, Dragonborn, are the baddest dude here, the coolest person ever, the very best, that all the cool stuff and titles and such that you could possibly want are yours, first and foremost.

The setting is populated by many people who have been there longer than you, who have sunk more time and effort into this, who may have spent years searching a particular treasure out, for example, but that’s irrelevant because the spoils will always go to you, unless they’re useless to you- and then someone else can get them.

A particularly egregious example is the questline Unearthed (Dragonborn DLC, in Solstheim) where you are literally just financing the excavation- the guy who is actually hiring people, managing this, and digging out the entire ruin to get at these relics, to the point that he’s repeatedly attacked, and then possessed by ancient evils- leaves all of them untouched just because he’s decided he’s done with this entire thing.

I don’t mind getting cool stuff in video games. I mind that the narrative will aggressively throw the characters I interact with under the bus to give me Yet Another cool trinket that I probably won’t use because I’m a mage and heavy armor isn’t my schtick.

But the other thing that aggravates me a lot is the fact that, as eager as the game is to laud power, influence and money on you… there’s actually very little you can do with it that doesn’t just go back into aggrandizing and rewarding you.

They tried very hard to establish a flawed setting rife with turmoil, and succeeded, but like… I can become the Arch-Mage of the College and the Harbinger of the Companions and the leader of the thieves’ guild and a high-ranking member of the Imperial Legion and so on and so forth, but on my first trip to Windhelm I’m treated to a minority woman being literally threatened by people who are plotting to break into her house and interrogate/abduct/torture her on the blatantly baseless accusation that she’s a spy, and my recourse is that I can make her briefly sing my praises by telling her after the fact that I disagree with them.

I’m not given any opportunity to, you know, stop either of those guys or confront them. I could literally be a six-foot orc warrior with an axe the size of my head in terrifying metal armor and I can’t like. walk over to the guy, put my hand on his shoulder, and tell him to shut his face before I reconfigure it for him and hell if I catch him doing that again. And threatening people into submission shouldn’t be the highlight of my day or a great option. Ideally, I’d much prefer if hatred against minorities wasn’t used as a prop for me to establish how nice my character is. 

But if you’re going to put it there, and you’re going to emphasize so much of this might-makes-right I-am-the-baddest-dude, game, why don’t you actually let me challenge or interact with these things? Someone’s life has been literally threatened right in front of me and I can be the thane of all nine holds to the point where I could deck someone in a public market and just tell the guards to look the other way but you wanna tell me there’s just nothing I can do except prop myself up by going “hey, y’know, I’m not like those guys.” I can’t even say “literally never mind that, are you okay” first and foremost because the game anticipates that my first concern is going to be my own ego.

And that’s where the suspension of disbelief falls through for me. The game puts so much effort into letting me accumulate resources and power, but a lot of the horrible things existing in the setting are just treated as The Way Things Are and not worth caring about.

And maybe it’s just the wrong demographic for me. Because I feel like a lot of my personal sense of escapism is “maybe things will be okay”. I like the idea of having power and being important, but in contexts where that’s something that can help.

Comparing that to, say, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. In Twilight Princess, it’s actually a plot point that you may never be acknowledged. A few people know you’re the Hero and you’re saving people- and you are rewarded, in the sense of more gear and new places you can explore- but largely, the biggest reward that you encounter is seeing the people you encounter get happier.

“Hey, this bridge was broken and we couldn’t get across here, it was really bad, but now it’s fixed! Isn’t that neat, I wonder who did that?”

(it was me, I did that, but you don’t know that)

And that feels good. That, I think, is the power fantasy that Zelda offers. It’s a scenario where in a world with a lot of dark places you pick up your little lantern and venture forth, and the biggest reward isn’t the newest smashy thing you got, but how the people that you encounter are less hungry and scared than the first time you saw them.

You’re rewarded, and resources open up to you, but as a byproduct of the whole world opening up more, becoming more hospitable.

Skyrim? Skyrim plays like a dream. I love the mechanics of it. But writing-wise, I think my absolute favorite storyline in the Skyrim games is Dawnguard.

Because Dawnguard is a story that’s actually, for the most part, not about you.

It’s about Serana.

You’re important, but you’re important as a vehicle to help Serana proceed and work against her father’s prophecy. It’s a situation where she very effectively is able to fight back against being the living (or, well, undead) Plot Item. She grows, fights back, and asserts herself, and you take a supporting role. She’s the one who knows what to do and has the real personal stake in all of this. You’re basically just helping.

But I guess the short version of it is:

I feel like Skyrim bills itself as a huge open world where you can do/be anything you want to, but it really drops the ball on letting you do good that’s actually meaningful to the layperson you encounter. 

Sure, I can understand that realistically, getting one person off the street and back on their feet is a complicated process and not something you can just waltz into- but “realistically” I should be spending thousands of years studying to refine my thu’um but they have no problem letting me rove the countryside punching dragons because that’s more fun… so why is realism only a concern when it comes to helping people and the game has no problems letting me murder and pillage my way through major cities without any consequences that would seriously stop me?

[europesglobetrotter]

1. Goodbyes are hard

The hardest part of leaving my home town was saying goodbye - to everyone I love - for an entire year. It may seem like a small feat because, after all, it’s only a year, right? The thing is, I’m not just travelling across the country to go to university, I’m travelling to a different country entirely. It’s daunting, I’m not going to lie. Excitement and nerves boiled in my stomach since I started counting down at 104 days until I left. Now here I am: sitting on an aircraft, surrounded by 7 other people in the same situation as me, while we wait patiently for the last 3 hours of the 11 hour flight to fly by - pun intended.

The night before was surely the hardest. I still hadn’t come to terms with the fact that I was moving thousands of miles away in a matter of hours. How could I? It’s surreal to think about. Even now, as I’m traveling to my destination, I still can’t quite believe it. I’m waiting for someone to pinch me so I’ll wake up.

If I could I’ve you one piece of advice, it’s to not leave your passport at your house. Believe me, I’ve done it. Hell, I think we all have at one point. Unfortunately, it’s one of the most critical pieces you’ll need.

My flight departed at 6.30 and I woke up that morning at 4.30am. I used to be a competitive swimmer, though I quit seven months ago. Even after 10 years of competitive training, the early mornings don’t get any less unbearable. What can I say? My bed and I have a special bond like no other. My best friend and I carried my suitcases to the car, with the help of my grandparents of course. As we drove to the airport, I still couldn’t believe I managed to store my life in 2 suitcase, one carry on, and a jam packed laptop bag. I thought about all the shoes I’d left behind. Trust me, you’ll want to pack everything, but you can’t. At least I know my favourite pair of studded converses will be there when I get back.

At the Palmerston North airport, I waited for my friends to arrive. JJ, S, Mel turned up a little bit before I was supposed to board. After a lot of exchanged hugs and goodbyes, I snagged a few photos and said goodbye to my best friend, Kenz, who stayed the night with me. My brother barely turned up on time for a goodbye. I mean, seriously, I’m away from a year in a foreign country and you could only just manage enough energy to roll out of bed? Dude, come on.

I felt like a prisoner on death row as I walked towards the plane. A morbid analogy, maybe, but 100% true in every sense of the world. You know in the movies where one of the main characters, predominantly the female love interest, decided to have a life away from the other main character, and the camera would focus on the lead as she walked towards the plane? Then, at the last possible moment, she’d turn her head over her shoulder, seemingly in slow motion before vanishing into the plane? Yeah, that was me. I was that girl. I always thought the people in the airport had it the hardest. After all, they were saying goodbye to someone (me) who chose to leave. They couldn’t stop it if they wanted to. The thing is, as I vanished into the plane, I was the one feeling a rush of emotions pour into me. I might not see these people, even when I come back. Who knows what’s going to change for me?

My first struggle of the flight was trying, and mostly failing, to cram my bad into the overhead lockers. After almost dropping it on my head multiple times, I finally jammed it in. I took my seat by the window and stared out to see my friends and family sitting in the upstairs lounge, trying to find my face in the plane. I felt like a creep knowing that I could see them but they couldn’t see me. I ended up texting them all to try and ease my nerves. By this point only five minutes had passed since I last saw them and I was already experiencing friendship withdrawals. Suffice to say leaving was harder than I thought.

Before I knew it, the plane was in the air. As the plane lifted higher and higher, the weight on my shoulders became lighter. I felt free. Finally after a year of contemplating my future, I was ready to embark on the next part of my journey. Travelling thousands of km away may seem like a bit of an exaggeration for someone who doesn’t know what they want to do with their life, but it felt right. As cliche as it sounds, I know I made the right decision. Mentally, I wasn’t ready to accept the responsibility of university and I’ve come to realise that’s okay. It’s okay if you’re not sure what you want to do with your life. Sometimes the best experiences are those that aren’t planned. You think that I attended high school with the intention of fleeing to England as soon as I left? Hell to the no. I always thought I’d get a scholarship and go straight to university to begin the next chapter of my life. I now know that a break from life isn’t something to be ashamed of, or scared of, it’s something to be accepted. I’m just grateful of all the support I had to get me to where I am today.

Once I landed in Auckland airport, I hit a small snag - the snag being the 6 hour wait until my international flight departed. After a lot of wondering around I realised that for a big airport, there’s nothing to do, especially if you’re alone. I was smart enough to follow the sign posts to the international section of the airport. You could catch a bus if necessary, but I figured I both needed the exercise and time to kill, so I walked. It only time a measly ten minutes. Possibly shorter. I couldn’t tell you really since I spent most of the time snapchatting people while making sure my trolley didn’t crash head on into the curb. Teenagers and their cell phones, am I right?

I made it into the international sector of the airport and I felt my stomach drop. It was that feeling you get when you’re on a roller coaster and you’re about to go down a steep decline, or when the planes initially takes off in the air, only this feeling was accompanied by a swarm of nervous butterflies. No, butterflies are beautiful, it was a swarm of moths crowding around a bright light. That’s what my stomach felt like. This happened as I stood in the entrance to the airport, on my own, bags on a trolley, and a dazed and confused expression on my face. I finally realised I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know where to drop my bags off, what time I was supposed to drop them off, which sector (there were 5 different sectors labeled from A to E) I was supposed to do it. My advice? Ask for help. Seriously. Do it. Don’t wander around like a headless chicken in search of it’s head. Case in point: me. After swallowing my pride, I asked for help. The lady explained how you looked on the departure tv boards hanging around the airport. You look for your flight name and departure time and it would have the sector letter next to it. She also told me you could only check in your baggage 3 hours before your flight. I was going to wait a while for that.

I made my way up to the food court and grabbed a table on the corner. I saw a girl named Jess post on Facebook that she’d be on the same flight as me, so we were planning on meeting up when she got there. For that moment, I was by myself. And hungry. Very hungry. The delectable smells invaded my nostrils and my stomach couldn’t help but grumble. I gravitated slowly towards the food after a good fifteen minutes and drooling. Luckily, I didn’t lose my table. In fact, after polishing off my meal in record time, Jess found me. She brought me over to her family (there was a LOT of them) and we had a good Ol’ chat for a few hours. Nathan and Emma, two other gap students, caught up with us soon after.

We took some photos and made our way to sector E to hand off our luggage. I was sweating bullets as I waited for them to tell me my bags were overweight. By some miracle I managed to slide through with no problems. We handed in our orange card that we filled out earlier and made our way to customs. Firstly, you had to go through this machine with your passport. You scanned your passport and if you weren’t coming through illegally like I wasn’t, a gate would open and you’d step into a small square where you’d see your face on a small tv. It scanned your face to see if you were the same person in your passport photo. Then, I was declined. Shit. That’s all I could think. I backed out of the square where I was confronted by a security guard. I was so worried I’d done something wrong. Did I get a counterfeit passport? Am I an illegal immigrant trying to sneak through? Oh god, what was going to happen to me?! All the panic was for nothing. I handed the security guard my passport who told me to take my glasses off. I didn’t have my glasses on in the passport photo and apparently I looked like an entirely different human being without them on. That’s the goal. I passed through successfully, thankfully, and lined up to pass my things through the scanning machines at customs. Pro tip: empty your damn pockets before you get to customs. I was decked out in my heavy winter gear so it didn’t weigh down my already overweight carry on and I had my pockets filled to the brim with crap. Glasses case, portable charger, phone, passport… You name it, I had it. I had to empty my entire pockets, as well as pulling my laptop bag out of my laptop bag. That in itself was a mission and a half. I passed through the metal detector, only to have that go off. I’m telling you, the airport systems and I don’t gel well. I had to take off my massive winter coat, scarf, and Shawn Mendes sweater that was tied around my waist. This time, I passed.

After stuffing everything back into their original places, the four of us wandered to the far end of the airport to where our plane was. We waited there for a while since our plane was delayed. We were on the lookout for gap students like us and we found one - Grace. Soon after meeting up, and taking much needed toilet breaks,we piled onto the plane, where I find myself now. I found my seat, only to see someone sitting in it. After a lot of ticket checking since everyone in my row seemed to be in the wrong seat, I finally found a seat. One that wasn’t mine, but it was in the Perth position on the isle so I was happy with life at this point.

As the flight wears on, the time wears down. So far I’ve watched a few movies like Suicide Squad, Jack Reacher, Big Hero Five, some tv episodes and eventually have stuck with music. I’ve had two meals so far with two cokes. One fish meal and one chicken meal. I was a bit skeptical about the chicken, but it doesn’t taste like impending food poisoning, so I suppose that’s a good sign. Though knowing my luck so far, I won’t be surprised if I find myself chucking up upon landing.

It’s after 8pm in Singapore now. I’ve fast forwarded the rest of the plane ride. It’s 1:24am NZ time, so one could say I’m a little more than completely and utterly exhausted. Singapore airport could probably fit my entire country inside of it. Was that an exaggeration? Yes, massively, but at least you get the picture. It’s 3 stories tall with tilted panels hanging from the ceiling, creating the illusion that the roof is falling down. Everything is so clean and articulate. Honestly, it’s beautiful. The one Debby downer about this place is the temperature. Okay, I get that it’s 32 degrees C, but there is no need for the humidity that overpowers you as soon as you step off the plane. I’ve never sweat so much while doing so little. The good news is that there is around 10 of us now since we managed to group together on the flight. The boys have gone off to get food, though I can confidently say I’m mot surprised, while the girls are shopping and looking around. I’m sitting here with the rest of the people, looking after the bags. It’s weird because my legs are cramped, but I don’t want to walk anywhere. To let you know the pain my lower body is in, it’s like having female cramps everywhere simultaneously. Oh yes, that bad. We have 17 hours until we reach England, so I can’t wait for that when the adventure begins :) ~ EGT ~

[copingmechanism1899]

Apr 23, 2019

It's happening. My life is ACTUALLY over. Some people can be such idiots. And I don't know how to deal with this BS. I can never trust anyone again because so much s*** arises when I try to help people. I've been betrayed, and I hate how I can't stand up for myself. I honestly don't know what to do. But I should probably describe the situation. I wrote an essay, and it wasn't a very good one. I'll admit, I'm having some trouble in this class. Okay, a LOT of trouble. I currently have an F. In order to improve this grade, I met with my teacher on Thursday, and they said that after our conversation, they would feel bad if they just let me turn in the essay as is, because I would just get things marked down. They gave me until Monday to fix it. So I worked my a** off /all weekend/ in order to improve this essay. This was a second chance, that I was EXTREMELY grateful for. So, I also have clubs before school on Mondays, so I come in early Monday morning, and my "friend" is sitting there. So I start up a conversation because I still have some time before my club starts. Turns out, even though we have different teachers, we got the same set of prompts. It /also/ turned out that my "friend" didn't do their essay, and needed some help. So I shared my essay with them. And this is where s*** hits the fan. For anyone who's ever made anything, you've probably started making whatever because of inspiration. Take a cake for example. You're walking around, and you see a really pretty cake, multiple layers, colors, decorations, and you think to yourself: "Wow. What a pretty cake! Now I want to make a cake!" and so you do. Now while you might have similar aspects to your cake (like how different essays might have similar points because they're about the same topic), you make the cake your own. Because you know, if you just make a replica, then it's not really /your/ cake. It's a copy of somebody else's. That's what I thought my "friend" was going to do. I thought they were going to take my general ideas. I thought they were going to look at my cake and say "Hey, I like the thought of buttercream.", then go make their own buttercream. But of course I was wrong. Whenever anything bad could happen, I always seem to make the wrong decision. My "friend" looked at my buttercream, and proceeded to stick their hand directly into my mixing bowl. Spreading the contaminated frosting all over her "cake", making it "their own". And here's the kicker. THEY WEREN'T SNEAKY ABOUT IT. I was working in google docs (which will be an important point later). Now, I shared my essay with my "friend", who I will refer to now as "M" (for motherf***er. lol), because "friend" is too much work. So, I share my doc with M, and then I ran off to my club. And while I was at my club, M decided to just STEAL my essay and "make it their own". Changing some words around (eg. changing "hive mind" to "cookie cut expectation") and calling it their own. Now, I'll admit, they added some of their own evidence, but they had too. Because we're in different classes, they had different sources. But they didn't even change the supporting reasons for the evidence. I ran the documents though a program, and it turns out they changed a whopping FIVE SENTENCES. In a SIXTY SEVEN SENTENCE ESSAY. That's not a lot of difference. And they changed all of this while I was at my club. But, they f-ed up. Instead of hiding what they had done (like any cheater should know how to do), they decided to edit /right on top/ of my work. Now I'm not saying that I cheat. I've definitely made my own version of a buttercream, but I've never outright taken someone else's. If I read someone else's essay, and I find a point that I agree with, I'll definitely find a way to incorporate it into my own essay. But I will find my own evidence, and I'll write my own conclusions. But M was an idiot, and didn't even have enough common sense to try to hid what they were doing. And since they typed directly in my document, when I turned it in, after my club, right before class started, it had their name at the top. I didn't even realize it until halfway through first period. I thought to myself: "Hey, did you remember to finish that sentence before you turned it in? Because it would look pretty darn stupid if you had a half finished sentence." So I went into google docs to check. And as I'm reading though, I see the title of an article that I didn't read. "wtf?" I think to myself. Then I scroll to the top, and lo and behold. It has M's name on it. I start freaking out, and I go to where I submitted it online. It has M's name on it. So I immediately text them. I ask them why the f*** they were writing in my document, I tell them the one I submitted has their name on it, and I almost break down in class. And one of my table-mates notices. She asks me what's wrong, and I tell her the gist, leaving out names. At this point, M isn't replying, so as soon as class ends, I call them, all of my calls going to voicemail. Second period, I'm still freaking out. A friend asks me whats wrong, and I tell them. Again, excluding names. My friend tells me I should write an email to my teacher, telling her how M ripped me off. Then, it happens. M replies. They immediately go on the offense, saying "Dude delete it or something" (which I couldn't because the website I turned it into doesn't allow you to delete submissions), along with "Dude why didn't u check", and "I wish u just read it over before submitting". Well, let me tell you something. I worked on that essay ALL WEEKEND. I read it, and re-read it so many times, I was sick of it. I made some final edits, and I knew that I was going to submit it as it was. I tried my very best and I was finally content with how it was. And now I feel like she's trying to make me feel guilty, like it's my fault. And honestly? It's kind of working. I'm in a constant state of fear because I know how much trouble you can get on for copying someone else's work. So, back to second period. M has texted back, telling me, that I should tell the teacher that, and I quote: "My friend shared her essay for me to  check it and I accidentally  submitted hers". Which both me and my friend (who will now be E, for "extraordinary", and "friend" is long), know would never work. M said "Just tell her U accidentally submitted mine  she’ll believe". Which made me think to myself: "But... no. My teacher is not a F-ING IDIOT." M tells me to email my teacher, and because they apparently doesn't trust me, says: "Lemme see the email when u done writing". And all the while, E is telling me "just throw M under the bus. If you try to cover for them, and you get caught in a lie, then you'll both get in trouble. But if you blame M, then it won't be as bad for you." But because I'm who I am, I'm a bit of a pushover. I don't want to be mean. I don't want to throw M under the bus. But I also don't want to lie. So, I do write an email to my teacher. But it's the truth. I told my teacher that I shared my essay with my friend, and they typed over it, in order to pass it off as their own. Now, I was upset. And E was also very angry. So that email was probably a tad bit more aggressive than it needed to be. (Now here's where the google doc part becomes important) I included in the email that I had proof that I wrote the original essay. In google docs, you can look at your "version history". And if you look at the version history of this document, you can see that all previous versions had my name on it. (this point will also come up again later, so don't forget it.) With my email sent, I asked E what to do. Sure, I wrote the email, but the content wasn't something that would please M. E told me to confront M, and say that I wasn't going to cover for them, but I don't like confrontation, so I said that I couldn't. So E took my phone and got M's number. E texted M, and I didn't know what had been sent until 4th period. E knew that I was having trouble in this class, and she relayed this information to M. E explained the gist of what was going on, beginning the message with "she wont tell you this so i will", and ending it with "please just write your own essay next time". Overall, I think the tone of E's message was a bit cold, but it wasn't outright mean. But then. M has the AUDACITY to message me, saying "would it help if I gave u my essay and u could finish it?" I mean, what the F***?! I worked mt a** off for that essay, which you practically STOLE, and now you're asking me to write ANOTHER ONE? FOR YOU? And your explanation is "So it shows u had ur own essay". Absolute bulls***. So I've sent my email, and now I just go though the rest of my day, trying to avoid thinking about it, figuring I'll talk to my teacher at the end of class (which would also be at the end of the day because I have that class last.), but I never get the chance. I walk into 8th, and I start silent reading, like we do during this unit. Then we start working with our groups. But halfway through class, I get called out. Joy. I get escorted to the Dean's office, and guess who's there. If you've read everything preceding this, you've probably guessed it. It was M. The Dean starts talking, and M tries to explain themselves, telling lie, after lie, saying that we had "switched essays for peer editing", and "because we shared them, I might have just submitted the wrong one" (one again, I think they were trying to make it seem like my fault). And then the Dean says something that makes me question why I'm here. They say (something along the lines of) "Well, you came in here, sounding kind of frustrated". This. This makes me think that M came in here if their own free will. And from what it sounded like, they came in here because of E's message. And even later, M texted me saying "Did u tell a lot of people Cuz lots of people were talking to me". And I think to myself: "I've told like, 1 and a half people? And I've never used your name. How are people alking to you?" So I ask who. And apparently, "lots of people" is 2. E, and the girl from my first period class. The single message E sent was apparently enough to set M off. And the girl from my class? She's friends with M, so when M started talking about the this s***show of a situation, (so I'm not the only guilty party!) this girl put 2 and 2 together and figured it out herself. Yet M blames me for telling people. WTF. But whatever right? M's just trying to make me upset (right?). Back at the Dean's office, class is ending and so M leaves to catch their bus. I have clubs after school, so I stay in the office a bit longer. The Dean (who will now be shortened to D) says that our stories are conflicting. My email accuses M of stealing my essay, but M is saying that it was a mix up and that I accidentally submitted theirs. I proceed to tell D that I wrote the essay, and that M made edits on top to "make it their own". I tell D that I can show her the version history to prove it (told you it would come up again!) So I take out my essay, and show her the version that had been completed April 21, 9:19 PM. But D says that doesn't count as proof because I "could have just gone back and put my name over M's". Which is BS. Because if you try to go into a previous version of the document to change something, /it makes a new version/. AND, it /keeps the old version/! There's no way to delete a previous version (that I have found), so the version history should have been proof enough. But it's not. Which made we so worried, because of what D said next. She said that because I didn't have proof that I wrote the essay, and because the one I turned in had M's name on it, it looked like I was the one who stole /M's/ essay. Which is f-ed up. Because it's the complete opposite. D also said (something along the lines of) "I like it when people just confess and come clean. Telling the truth makes it so much easier for everyone. Because your stories right now, are very confusing. Someone just coming forward and admitting to what they did would be super helpful." And the entire time, she was looking at me as is she was just waiting for me to crumble and admit to the crime. But I didn't do it. And her BS about how "telling the truth makes things easier"? I've told her the truth. But she doesn't believe me. And it sucks. And it's not even a "boy who cried wolf" situation. I haven't been lying to her, she just won't believe me from the get-go. After I get dismissed, I go to my club. During which I get a text from M. But I couldn't deal with their BS right then so I waited until after my club to read it. And this /monster/, this /criminal/, is just asking me different variations of "what did you say". I tell M the bare minimum because I don't really want to talk to M again. But because M had to go catch the bus, D ended the conversation with "we'll continue this conversation tomorrow". So M messages me, asking "Can we meet b4 school tommorow to talk more abt this", saying they'll be there at 7:30 in the morning. Now, I had other plans that morning, and I know that M just wanted to meet up so we could make up some lie that would inevitably get us caught, but I still wen't early so I could tell M that I just wanted to tell the truth. I get to school 7:18. I'm early so I wait. 7:24, I text them, letting them know I'm there. 7:30 rolls around, and they're a no-show. 8:18 comes, and at this point I need to get to 1st period. Finally, 8:31 hits, I'm already in class and I get a text from M. "Hey fam I’m sry I got sick today and I couldn’t go to school". First of all, this is serious. WTF is up with the texting language? Second, "sick". Yeah right. Would have been nice to know before you made me WASTE my morning. I had other s*** I needed to get done. And I couldn't because you're a flaky piece of garbage. So yeah, a entire crock-pot of flaming trash. I spent my hole day in fear, wondering if I was still going to get called to the Dean's office even if M wasn't there. I got through my last period class, and practically bolted out the door as soon as the bell rang. I do't know what's going to happen to me. M won't take responsibility for their actions, and because D won't believe the truth, it looks like I'm the one in the wrong. I'm so f-ed, because I know M isn't planning of taking the blame. Saying "I’m freaking out too because I need to try so hard to make sure none of us get in trouble" and "Dude I don’t wanna get u or me suspended or smn" even though is we just TOLD THE TRUTH, it would only be M that gets in trouble. M is trying to make me go along with it by saying "u or me", when in reality, M is just trying to save their own a**. So I'm just freaking out. Because I'm already failing this class, why would I do something as stupid as cheat? I know that if I were to get caught, then I'd be completely and utterly f-ed. I have no reason to cheat. But I've been screwed over because M won't own up and D won't believe the truth. S***.