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horansqueen · 5 years

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AM Conversations : chapter 55

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

(FINAL CHAPTER)

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49 || CHAPTER 50 || CHAPTER 51 || CHAPTER 52 || CHAPTER 53 || CHAPTER 54

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -5.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified the sequel is posted, message me!

- note for this chapter: i mean, this is it. this is the end. not really because you all know theres a sequel but its still super big to me. ive been writing for 22 years and its the very first time i finish a real story. im super proud of this story and it has over 220k words, which is something i’ve obviously never done before. im also super happy to post this last chapter on the same day Niall’s second album comes out. idk why i just think its cool lmao!

i would appreciate so so soooo so much your comments for this chapter but also what you think will happen in the sequel or what you want to happen in the sequel. also, anything about the characters, the storyline, the ending... honestly, whatever comes to your mind about this story, good or bad, comments or suggestions... please send it to me! thank you!!!

okay so here it is. :D

Chapter 55 : Her FINAL chapter

OLIVIA

I ended up rushing outside and walking as fast as I could. It took me a few seconds to realize it was pouring outside but it didn't really matter. Nothing really mattered. I was crying but I was still walking fast, letting the tears fall down my cheeks and the sobs getting out of my mouth without shame. It was only after about 10 minutes of walk that i realized I didn't even take my car but when that realization came to me, I still didn't give a fuck.

I was mad at Niall for hurting me and mad at myself for making him the center of my universe for so long. I was so lost without him. I didn't know where to go or what to do. I didn't know who I was, who I wanted to be... I didn't know how to breathe or how to live. I was so pissed at myself for giving one person so much power over me and I hated it. Niall could live without me, he could breathe, he knew who he was and what he wanted, and he had proved it only a few minutes ago. And that made me realize that I was completely wrong about love. It isn't to make one with the person you love. Your lover shouldn't be your other half. Even if the thought sounded incredibly romantic, when you took the time to think about it, it was ridiculous. I was someone without Niall, I just didn't know who yet.

That simple concept made my heart jump in my chest and I started running. I ran fast, feeling my backpack hit the bottom of my back with every step. I ran as fast as I could until my throat burned, until my legs hurt. The sound of my feet on the cement as it echoed on the walls of the houses around seemed to go in rhythm with the beatings of my heart and when I'd run in a pool of water, I heard it splash on me until the bottom of my sweatpants were soaked. In fact, when I stopped running, I was completely drenched and totally out of breath. I stopped because the person I was looking for was standing only a few meters away from me. He was panting too, I could see his chest raise up and down quickly as he tried to catch his breath and my eyes roamed on him until I noticed locks of his hair stuck on his forehead because of the rain. He was soaked too and I swallowed hard. Seeing him so vulnerable made me realize that's probably how I looked too. I felt my own hair stick to my face and my shirt to my back.

"Olivia."

He had talked a bit louder than usual, trying to make his voice reach me despite the distance and the noise of the rain hitting the paving of the sidewalk where we were both standing.

"I was... I was going to see you." he explained, still panting. "I just... I needed to talk to you. I was sitting on the couch and I just... I rushed out."

My legs had brought me to him while his were also bringing him to me and that thought made me sob. I brought my hand to my mouth to stop it until I saw him start crying too. He was literally weeping in front of me and I wanted to run to him and take him in my arms but I was motionless, like stuck in quicksand.

"Olivia, I got a girl pregnant." he added even louder in-between sobs.

I kept staring at him and swallowed with difficulty again before my lips parted.

"Niall broke up with me."

I don't know how long we stayed just away from each other, standing in the rain but at some point, I felt a shiver run across my back and after half a second, I was in his arms. He held me close, his arms wrapped around my neck and his forehead leaning on the top of my head. He smelled good, he felt great and when he cried again, I squeezed him tighter against me.

The rain kept falling over us but neither of us cared. We just held onto each other while everything was falling apart around us and we were each other's only hope. He brought me inside after a while and let me borrow some clothes, leaving me alone in his room to get changed. I took my clothes off and used the towel he gave me to dry my body. I quickly put his sweatpants and shirt on and started rubbing the towel in my hair as I walked very slowly around his room.

It was modern and classy, just like him, and I always liked the nice and soft carpet he had picked. I let my feet brush on it as I reached the other side of the bed, suddenly curious. There was a bunch of pictures in his room, pictures of his family and friends but there was one small frame that was turned face down on the bedside table. I took it and stared for a few seconds at the smiling faces of Louis and Eleanor, feeling myself tear up again. Two love stories were now ruined and over and I didn't understand what exactly had happened to us.

I sighed and put the frame back exactly where it was before going to the bathroom and hanging the towels behind the door. I came back to the room and smiled slightly as I pushed a pile of dirty clothes on the side and went back to the living room. Louis had made tea and mine was waiting for me on the coffee table. He was sitting down and I noticed he had changed too. His hair, unlike mine, was almost dry already and when he felt my presence, he turned to me and made a quick head movement to incite me to get closer. I breathed in and joined him on the couch, taking the mug with both hands to warm myself a bit before bringing it to my lips.

"Lady grey." I whispered, the left corner of my lips rising a bit.

"With a cloud of milk and no sugar." he added. "Your favorite."

I turned to him and tilted my head.

"Sugar ruins tea." I pointed out as he answered my smile.

"It does, darlin'."

I loved Louis. Everything was so simple with him, even more than with Harry. Perhaps the fact that Louis and I were only friends helped too. I was never only friends with Harry, and I was never only friends with Niall. There were always some romantic or lust feelings involved. I stared at Louis and blinked a few times before taking a few more sips of my tea. The hot beverage warmed my whole body but couldn't get rid of the persistent ache in my heart, unfortunately.

"Do you think it'll always hurt like that?"

"Yes."

It was not the answer I expected and he probably read it in my face because he moved a bit to sit better and face me. I was desperate for human contact and I just wanted to cuddle him but I waited, the fingers of one of my hands playing nervously with the fabric of the couch.

"He's your soulmate just like El is my soulmate." he explained and I could swear I heard his voice crack. "It'll hurt forever."

I swallowed again but felt a tear run down my cheek without wiping it off.

"What are we gonna do, Louis?"

He looked down at his lap and sighed loud. We were both sad and lost and we had no idea what to do with our pain. I moved a bit closer and grabbed his hand on the back of the couch. Immediately, he squeezed my fingers with his.

"I don't know, Liv." he admitted, shaking his head. "And I don't think we'll find out tonight."

I nodded, keeping his hand in mine, as a bunch of thoughts invaded my mind. Would I see Niall again? Would I even be able to be around him without crying or hurting? That didn't seem likely. How would I react when i'd see him with an other girl? Whether I still kept him in my life or not, i'll know about the girls he dates since it'll be all over the net. Niall is discreet, it's true, but he can't hide forever. Plus, we have a few common friends, including Louis.

"Why didn't you fight?" I heard, taking me out of my thoughts. "That's not you Olivia, you always fight for what you want."

I sent him a sad smile and shrugged, running my thumb on top of his hand as I stared at it.

"I saw his face, Louis. It was not a random decision. It was well-thought. It's something he had in mind for a while. I couldn't have done anything about it."

An other moment of silence and I licked my lips.

"Is it Briana?" I wondered in a low tone, looking up only to see him nod slowly. "Is she gonna keep it?"

"Yes."

My heart jumped in my chest. "When did you find out?"

"A week ago."

I raised my eyebrows up in surprise, a bit hurt that he hadn't told me before but I also knew I was the first person he told and that made me feel special. I shouldn't make this about me, it was selfish of me, but it felt good nonetheless to have someone who trusts me, loves me and wants me in his life.

"What are you gonna do?"

Louis sighed again and moved on his seat without letting go of my hand.

"The best I can." he shook his head, still avoiding my eyes. "I'll be the best father in the world."

His answer made me smile and I tilted my head, staring at him. There was something about Louis, something strong and rough. He was a hard-shell with a soft core and it was probably the only thing we didn't really have in common.

"There's no doubt you'll be the best father on the planet."

His lips curled as he kept staring down and I started thinking about Niall again and that time we had talked about having kids. I felt something stir in my stomach and swallowed again to get rid of the nauseous feeling hitting me. I didn't want a family with anyone else and I closed my eyes, trying to mourn the perfect life I've always wanted.

"I wish I had kissed him one last time." I whispered, feeling more tears coming to my eyes. "I missed that chance. I miss how he tastes, how he smells. I miss him."

"You would always hope for 'one last time', Liv. You'd always want an other 'one last kiss'."

He was right but I didn't tell him, instead, I looked down and sniffed before licking my lips.

"I don't even know why he broke up with me. He just said he was not ready to commit, that he knew we'd last forever and he was not ready for that. To me, it makes no fucking sense. When you love someone, you don't care about the other people you could sleep with, you don't care about your freedom because you are free." I tried to explain, getting a bit worked up. "I didn't stop him from doing anything, did I? Was I a crazy, jealous, controlling girlfriend?"

This time, I looked up when I felt Louis move closer. His eyes found mine and he blinked a few times, letting go of my hand to cup my face. I could feel his breath on my face and my lips parted.

"Some people are ready to do anything to prove to themselves that they're not trapped." he let out slowly and in a low tone. "It's on them. Not on you."

My eyes roamed on his face and my heart skipped a beat. I loved that man so much and he deserved so much better than all this pain. I felt his thumbs brush gently on my skin and nodded slowly. Louis always said what he thought when you asked him for an opinion and he always told you things you didn't want to hear but needed to. That, we had in common, that's why this friendship was so real and raw, and also why we got along so well. We were also not touchy or easily offended, which helped.

He moved back a bit and I felt his fingers brush my face as they slid down.

"I know we'd normally get drunk off our asses, but i'm too tired to get pissed. Tomorrow?" His eyebrows raised up and I just nodded. "You can take my bed, it's more comfortable. I'll take the guest room."

"No Louis, it's fine I can-"

"Shut up, princess." he cut me quickly, frowning even more this time. "You take my bed and that's it."

I felt my lips curl and just nodded. He winked at me and smiled before getting up and I followed him slowly to his room. I watched him grab the covers and gripped his elbow quickly.

"Louis, I'm not disgusted by your sheets, you don't have to change them."

He sighed and looked at me for a few seconds before nodding.

"If you're hungry, you take anything in the kitchen, if you need meds or anything, it's in the bathroom. Basically, take anything you need okay? It's all good with me."

I nodded and he pushed the covers before I sat in bed. It took me a minute or two but I finally lied down and brought the blankets on me, feeling tears coming to my eyes again. I didn't want to be alone, it scared me like hell, and if I was about to cry all night, I didn't want to do it by myself.

"Goodnight, Olivia." he just said, turning the light off as he walked out.

Something jumped in my stomach and I sat up quickly.

"Louis!"

He turned around to look at me and our eyes met. I held my breath and licked my lips, unsure if he could see me in the dark but I could clearly see him because of the lights from the hall, illuminating him.

"Please, stay, okay?"

It seemed like I waited an hour just looking at him, waiting for him to reject me but in the end, he nodded and walked away. He turned the lights off and I watched his shadow walk back into the room. My eyes followed him as he got around the bed and under the covers with me. I turned his way and moved closer without touching him and he did the same as we remained silent. I blinked a few times until I got used to the darkness and finally sighed loud.

"Can we spoon?"

"We can spoon."

I turned around, untwisting my shirt and he waited until I stopped wiggling to wrap his arm around me. I closed my eyes and for a few seconds, I imagined I was in Niall's arms, in his bed, but the fantasy was hard to keep. The truth was, it didn't feel the same because Louis was not Niall. No one was Niall.

"I wish I was with El right now. I wish she was the one pregnant with my child." Louis whispered, probably trying to convince himself that the girl he was spooning was the girl he was in love with and not his best friend.

"I wish I was with Niall, right now. I wish he loved me more than his freedom."

"I don't know how to deal with the pain, Livi." he whispered, his voice cracking despite how low it was. "I don't know how to get back up and move forward."

"I wish I could help you but I don't know either."

"I just want to ease the pain." he let out quickly. "At first, getting drunk and high worked but the more I do it, the less it works. I could beg you, Livi, help me."

My heart started aching and I shut my eyes tight as I swallowed.

"I've always dealt with pain the same way, and it's a very very bad way, Louis." I confessed, shaking my head. "It's toxic."

"Tell me."

I rolled on my back and he stared down at me, his hand now laying on my stomach. I wanted to move it away from me but the way his pinky brushed against the skin of my stomach did something to me, something it really shouldn't do.

"I don't know, Louis."

"Does it work?" he asked, and despite how dark it was, I could see hope in his eyes.

"Mmhm." i just answered, now daring to talk.

"For how long?"

My lips parted and I shrugged. "A few hours, it depends."

"I'll take a few painless hours." he insisted. "Please."

Slowly, I reached for his hands under the covers and slid it up on my stomach. I couldn't believe I was doing that and I knew I risked a lot. I risked the only strong friendship I had left. Whether we did anything or not, it could make things awkward between us and that thought was scary as hell. I had lost Niall, I couldn't bare to lose Louis, too. Right before his hand reached my breasts, I pushed it away and shook my head. I was not ready to risk that.

"Forget it, it's a bad idea." I closed my eyes, trying to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace.

"Fuck no."

My heart skipped an other beat as it jumped in my chest and I felt his hand move back to my stomach. His fingers brushed on my skin and I felt my eyes flutter. I didn't know why, but I wanted this.

"That's how you deal?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Fuck the pain away?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"You said you slept with nine persons in your life but it wasn't true, right?"

Slowly, his hand traveled my stomach and I just shrugged slightly.

"Only nine that mattered." I explained in a whisper. "The others don't count. It doesn't count if I don't know your name."

"You know my name." he murmured, moving his face a bit closer. "Do you want to make it ten?"

I sent him a smile and chuckled very low. Fuck yes I wanted it, but the fact that he did too was laughable.

"You can close your eyes and pretend i'm someone else." I just let out, licking my lips again. "I won't be mad, I know i'm not your type."

"Who said that?"

I brought my hand to his face and pressed my palm on his stubble.

"I've seen the girls you fancy." I shrugged again. "It doesn't matter, it's just to push the pain away for a while, yea? We'll be best friends again tomorrow, right?"

"And we'll never talk about it again if that's what you want."

I laughed a bit, feeling suddenly nervous, and moved my hand in his hair. I felt my fingers slip in it as I pushed his head my way gently.

"I heard i'm not so bad of a lay so, just leave the lights off and you'll be fine."

This time, he's the one who laughed.

"Are you gonna imagine i'm Niall?" he asked, making me frown.

"No!" I let out a bit too loud. "I want to forget about him for an hour, that would be counterproductive."

"Then why do you think i'd want to imagine someone else?" he asked again. "You think so low of yourself all the fooking time, Olivia."

By then, his hand had reached my breasts and I noticed it was under my shirt. He ran his hand on one and I felt my inner thighs throb so hard I almost whimpered.

"Okay, we can try, and if it doesn't work..."

"It's already working."

My lips parted slightly and my eyes roamed on his face. He moved closer but it's only when his lips pressed on mine that I closed my eyes. Slowly and gently, his lips parted mine and I never thought I needed affection as bad as I did. It had been only a few hours since Niall broke up with me but I felt so lonely and craving this intimacy with someone was not something that should surprise me. Louis was not anyone, anyway, and sharing that with him, although a bit awkward, felt better than I thought, even if I had never really thought about it before that night.

I thought he'd be more the impatient, rough and cheeky kind of guy but his hand traveled so slowly on me it took everything in me not to beg him to go quicker. I felt his fingertips brush against my nipple and my whole body started throbbing. I was desperate to be touched, desperate to be loved, desperate to feel alive.. and Louis was doing just that.

I sucked my stomach in when his hand ran down but spread my legs when he slipped his hand in my sweatpants. My back arched immediately at his touch, his whole hand pressing on my pussy until I felt two of his fingers slip inside me. This time, I held my breath and tensed as his mouth left mine. He brushed his lips down my neck and I slipped my hand in his hair. He smelled good, he tasted good, and I tried to suppress the image of Niall that quickly came to my mind without much success. I started tearing up and swallowed hard but when Louis brought his lips back on mine, I relaxed suddenly.

"I know you like it rough and hard but this is not what we need tonight, is it?" he whispered, his lips brushing against mine as he talked.

I shook my head and brought his closer, crushing his lips against mine. It should have hurt but it made me lust him even more and I let my hand travel to his neck and down his chest until it reached his sweatpants too. I heard him groan low and it made me feel dizzy. I pressed my hand on the front of his pants and felt him grind against it as my lips parted again and I started panting. I was excited and impatient but I didn't know if it was because of what I was about to do with Louis, or if it was because I knew I wouldn't feel pain for a while. Perhaps it was a bit of both.

I felt him move my pants down and helped him, pushing them with my feet at the bottom of the bed. I took my shirt off quickly as he did the same and after I pushed his pants down too, he quickly moved on top of me. I spread my legs and ground up without thinking, feeling his hard cock press on my inner thighs but I held my breath when he started kissing down my neck and chest. He gave a special attention to my tummy and it surprised me a bit but I couldn't seem to relax at all, feeling suddenly insecure. I wanted to tell him he didn't have to do that, that we could just make out and fuck, but his lips pressed on my pussy and I let out a curse word. I thought he'd go fast but he moved his lips and tongue so slowly on me that I felt my eyes roll back. I slid my hand under the blanket and found the back of his head only to press his face more on my pussy. I started seeing spots behind my eyelids and I knew I was getting close. I felt one of my legs start shaking and gripped his hair tight when an orgasm hit me hard.

"Oh my god!"

He didn't stop, he kept moving his tongue on me for a while, even after I relaxed, and I enjoyed the post-orgasm attention. He finally got back out of the covers and kissed me again, his mouth leaving an aftertaste of my orgasm on my own tongue.

"Mm, lay down okay?" I whispered, allowing our mouths to part briefly. "Your turn."

His kisses were getting more passionate and impatient and when he let out a low "No", I frowned.

"No?"

"I can't. Not now." he whispered again, kissing me harder. "You taste fookin' good, you know that?"

That confession made me smile and made my heart jump at the same time. I lost my smile when I felt him push himself slowly inside me and wrapped my arms around his chest as I moved my knees up.

"Oh god, fuck me." I whispered, feeling him smirk against my mouth.

"That's the plan."

I chuckled and he pushed himself completely inside me, making my head move back as I whimpered. I was impatient and I ran my hands on his back as I ground up again to feel him deeper.

"You feel... so fucking good."

He didn't answer, he just kissed me harder his elbows leaning on the mattress on each side of my head , and I brought my hands behind me on the wall to move in motion with him as he started thrusting in and out of me, slowly at first but quicker and harder until I felt close to an other orgasm.

"Oh fuck i'm gonna cum again." I murmured, bringing one of my hands to his hair again.

"Do it princess, cum for me, I want to feel you clench around me."

His words and his voice made me reach my peak immediately and I started shaking beneath him, my lips parted as his reached for my neck. He started biting me, amplifying my orgasm as I felt him reach his. His thrusts became unsteady and rough when he tried to push himself deeper before he just stopped moving. I could feel his body tremble slightly and when he finally relaxed, I kept my eyes closed. I was on the verge of tears and I was not even sure why.

Louis rolled away from me as we both lied down on our backs, watching the ceiling. I was suddenly scared that it had changed something between us, something that meant that we could never go back to that friendship we had.

"It worked. I'm not in pain right now." he admitted as I shut my eyes tight for a few seconds before opening them again.

"I'm okay too."

He found my hand between us on the mattress and squeezed my fingers tight. I didn't know if this was a good idea but it did serve the purpose and for now, that was going to be enough.

"Why didn't you want me to blow you?"

He chuckled and finally turned his head my way. It took me a few seconds but I did the same and when our eyes met, I realized he was smirking and it made me smile.

"You said it only stopped the pain for about an hour, yea?" he asked, making me nod and frown. "I'm keeping it for round two. If you're willing, of course."

I let my eyes roam on his face again and I smiled more, bringing my hand to his cheek.

"I am."

Surprisingly, we ended up having sex a few times on that night, in-between a few hours of slumber and cuddling, and when I woke up, I turned around in bed to hide my face from the sun only to realize he was not in bed anymore. I kept my eyes close and my heart started aching again but I breathed in deeply and finally sat up and rubbed my eyes. I was still naked and searched the bed for my clothes before I actually found them on the floor, and quickly put them back on.

I walked to the kitchen with a yawn as I pulled on my hair without much success. Louis turned to me and smiled when our eyes met.

"Nice hair, princess." he chuckled. "That's what your sex hair looks like... Interesting!"

"You're such an arse I swear." I grimaced, amused, as I let myself fall on one of this chairs. "Are you really making breakfast?"

"Bacon, eggs, and toasts." he explained, putting a plate in front of me. "Nothing too fancy."

I let out a laugh when I noticed he made eyes with the eggs and a mouth with the bacon, making him smile more.

"You're an idiot, Tommo." I just said with a chuckle. "But thank you."

"For the breakfast?"

"And for last night."

He stopped moving completely but stared down at his plate and suddenly, I felt extremely guilty. I had ruined things between us just like I was scared I had and I swallowed hard. I couldn't lose Louis, I couldn't handle losing him.

"Shit, you regret it, don't you?"

He looked up and his eyes met mine before he frowned and shook his head a bit.

"Olivia, we had sex five fucking times. You don't regret five fucks that happened on the same night." he pointed out, making me breathe out the air I wasn't even aware I was holding. "I just thought we wouldn't talk about it anymore, I thought that's what you wanted."

It took me a few seconds to answer and I just licked my lips.

"It happened. I don't regret it. And I sure as hell won't forget it." I explained, shrugging a shoulder. "I'm just scared it'll change things between us."

"It won't. You're my best friend. That won't change."

I sent him a small smile and nodded, feeling a bit relieved. I knew I would be sure that nothing had changed between us only after a few days of hanging out like we used to but I trusted Louis and I knew he'd tell me if he thought things were different now.

"What are you gonna do now?"

We had both heard and asked this question a lot in the past 12 hours but I just sighed again, shaking my head.

"I'm just gonna... survive for a while I guess." I explained, taking a sip of my coffee. "And then i'll just... i'll work on myself. There are so many parts of me I noticed when I was with Niall, so many things I felt, so many flaws I have... that I need to work on. I think that's what i'll do. Work on meself."

When I looked up at my best friend, he was smiling. Not smirking the way he usually does, but sincerely smiling and it made me smile too.

"I know I always call you 'princess' but... you just turned into a 'queen' now."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Why? Because of what we did last night?"

"No, silly!" he chuckled and rolled his eyes too. "But what you just said? That's wise. It's actually inspiring me."

"Then let's both do that." I suggested. "We need to take care of ourselves, do things we like, work on us and... and find out who we really are. Who we are without them, as a whole... as complete human beings."

He tilted his head and his eyes became smaller as he studied me.

"Let's do that, queen." he agreed with a nod, making me grin even more. "Love you."

"Love you too."

#niall horan #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan writing #my fanfics #amc #some tags i cant add without spoiling this lol #oh god im so excited to post this ndjhsgajhsdgukadshxf

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daehwins · 7 years

Note

i’m sure you can do all of the kpop soft asks, right? 26 isn’t much, plus i’m curious

“26 isnt that much” listen here binch. jk. ilu.

1). What kpop songs make you feel at home?

these song questions r gonna drive me insane bcs i cna never think of songs??

idk if there r any specific songs... i have quite a few songs that calm me and keep me level headed so i guess thast the equivelant. the one i can think off the top of my head is “I Need Somebody“ - DAY6

2). What idol(s) do you associate with kindness?

quite a few idols? probably yoon jisung (w1) and j.r (nu’est) off the top of my head?

3). Has a kpop song or group helped you through some difficult times? If so, and if you feel comfortable, share how.

I was in a rough spot at the beginning of the year and BTS rlly helped me tbh. all of their songs and the boys i felt connected to and it helped me grow as a person and brought me closer to the people i love again. now, it is multiple bands that keep me grounded.

4). What idol would you star gaze with? Why?

to be completely honest. no idea.i dont have some poetic answer or anything, i rlyy just dont know??

5). What your favorite ballad?

no ones gonna be surprised by “Spring Day“ - BTS

6). What was your first kpop group that you stanned? Why did you stan?

the first time in 2012 i think was shinee?? it was the first group i was introduced to by friends and such and after i fell out of kpop for many years i came back to it at the end of 2016 with BTS.

7). Would you rather give or receive a gift from your bias?

i feel like being with them in person would be enough of a gift tbh, and i would probably try and give them something like a letter and maybe some food??

8). What are some cute nicknames you have for your biases?

Lee Daehwi - hwi, baby hwi

Kang Daniel - dddk, danny, niel

Yoon Jisung - jinnie

i could list more but id be here all night??

9). What idol(s) would you go to an arcade with? Why?

lol baejin and hwi after that episode of wanna one go from forever ago qdwdsdj.

10). What are some things you associate with your bias?

hapiness, warmth, comfort, youth, hope

11). What idol(s) would you bake cookies with? Why?

like the star gazing one i have no idea??

12). What idol(s) would you like to share comfortable silence with? Why?

daehwi. idk hes.. hwi,,?? and he has his quiet moments when hes alone and so do i.

13). What idol(s) would you like to share your favorite food with?

all of them?? i want to share favorite foods back and forth

14). What idol, when they come to mind, makes you feel warm, fuzzy, at home?

daniel.

15). Which idol would you like to have a long, deep hug with? Why?

daniel, hes so much larger than me i would feel comforted and secure.

16). What’s your ideal day with an idol(s)?

a lazy day tbh, just hanging out with each other.

17) & 18). What idol(s) would you watch the sunrise/sunset with?

one again, no idea.

19). Has an idol or group said anything that has stuck with you?

i cant think of anythig directly off the top of my mind, but there have been quiet a few things ive taken a while to listen to and take in and carried ti with me.

20). What idol would you like to spend a rainy day in with? What would you do? (please keep it appropriate lmao)

daehwi, sit in comfy silence together and just stay by each others side.

21). Talk about why you love your bias so much.

my two ult biases make me feel unexplainable.

Daehwi is like the spring, new and young and excited. things are growing and are new and everything feels exciting and like butterflies are in your stomach, but at the same time there are moments of silence when theres nothinf but nature.

Daniel is like the fall, comfortable and nostalgic. things are slowly getting older and are ready to sleep for the year. everything is quiet and nothing stirs except for falling leaves. you dont feel butterflies anymore but you’ve been around long enough to know that butterflies in your stomach arent why you love the perosn but instead the experiences you have with them.

in the end, the cycle with constantly repeat.

22). Would you rather go to Disneyland or Everland with your bias? What would you do there?

disneyworld?? idk like ride rides and eat food?? what does one do in public??

23). What do you imagine your bias to smell like?

no idea, maybe vanilla bcs its the only scent i can stand and its comforting

24). 24. What do you wish for your bias group or idol in the future?

to not be sad when the time comes to separate and head their own ways, but instead to rejoice in the times they shared and look towards their own futures.

25). What season do you associate a group or idol with? Why?

i basically already answered this lol

26). What idol would you like to share childhood stories with?

yoon jisung, since my childhood would be different completely from his.

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deadmantalking117 · 7 years

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MY HILARIOUS CROHNS DISEASE STORY !

Kat and I had been dating about 6 months. Like I told you before.. I was 140 lbs... in pretty good shape.. working 2 jobs so we could get married.. start our lives together. 30 days later.. I weigh 110.. I'm crushingly exhausted. Maybe I'm taking on too much? Except... I'm eating a lot... sleeping the full 8. But... I'm going to the bathroom all the time... peeing every hour.. pooping 3 or 4 times a day ( I know.. T.M.I. dude.. but its relevant). So into the system I go... First doctor says.. lots of blood tests.. might be leukemia or diabetes... nope and nope. Go see this guy... I don't do innards. Next guy says.. redo all those blood tests! You must have leukemia or maybe diabetes. By the way.. good thing you have insurance.. but additionally.. we gotta get ours too.. so cough up a couple grand bitch ! I know you paid your deductibles for these exact same tests just last week.. but we needs to be paid too! You see.. in this system we have.. I don't get paid for taking care of you... I get paid for running tests.. that proves I'm taking care of you... so now I can get paid! And it doesn't matter if I do anything at all for you.. as long as I run the tests. And oh yeah... the tests were negative again... sorry about your new copays. But Dr. 2 is an Internist. They're more special than regular doctors. They do innards. So now he says... more better tests! And do I have a doozy for you ! We got this combo test.. it's awesome! First you get to starve yourself for 24 hours, then right before bed drink A GALLON of this salt water concoction that will make you poop liquid fire for the rest if the week! And the best part? It's vile... But wait... there's more! The next day you come on down to our terrifying surgical center and hang out for 8 hours or so. But this time.. you get to be naked in a tiny hospital gown so we take a nuclear bombs worth of xrays.. all aimed right at you guts. About one or two an hour ... cuz oh yeah! You have to drink a GALLON of this thick chalky liquid.. it's called Barium... and it's radio active so it really lights up your guts from the inside, while we shoot high doses of radiation at you from the outside. Its so cool. Well maybe not for you. After that long boring disgusting day.. I got the Barium shits.. this is the literal action of shitting a brick ( T.M.I. again.. but relevant). The gallon of radioactive liquid chalk that you have to drink... on a timer.. turns really solid in your colon! So.. yeah But maybe.. possibly we might be seeing something.. we should investigate fully! Ummm.. didn't we just do that? Cuz I totally remember paying ANOTHER deductible.. and shitting a brick! Plus.. low on blood after those 2 rounds of tests.. so what else? Well it's a little like the last test.. except this time.. WE PUT A HOSE UP YOUR ASS AND PUMP THE BARIUM UP FROM THE OUT DOOR ! Only a couple gallons... and the best part is.. you'll be conscious when we do this ! But first.. you get to starve yourself again... drink another GALLON of the vile salt water super clean out juice!. Then stay up the entire night before the test spraying napalm into your formally clean toilet. (And oh yeah.. soon as you recover from this. You're really going to wanna reclean that!) And don't forget to bring your giant copay.. check is fine! So a month after my upper GI.. I was initiated into a nightmare known as.. The Lower GI.. Back to the terrifying surgery center I go. Naked and in the gown I go. These places are always freezing.. it helps keeps out infections. But yeah.. chillin' . I'm 24.. back then I still had some pride... a little sense of dignity.. and though.. those are long gone now.. I remember! I miss them.. So cold and naked.. covered by my little thin gown.. my guts are still churning from the colon cleaner..and still leaking a bit! They show me "the table" . Its a huge adjustable thing.. with big xray cameras over it.. and a fucking five gallon drum of Barium hanging over one side... conveniently accessed through the 10 feet of garden hose that they were now going to insert into the same hole that only minutes before was a flurry of outbound activity! Consider that scenario in your life.. for the past 12 hours.. a river of waste has exploded out that hole.. now these people want to reverse that process ! That's just... wrong. On to the table I go.. the guy greases up the end 2 or 3 feet of it.. I'm thinking... you gotta be kidding me! I thought.. can't you just put the first maybe 2 or 3 inches in? Are you drilling for oil? Is this stuff going to blast out of my mouth? Thats not for real, right? Oh yeah dude ! This is totally happening ! And in they go. My first inclination was to scream.. I was tough.. young... had that dignity thing I told you about. So I did the manly thing.. kind wept silently! Prayed a lot.. swore a whole lot. But wait... there's more! We need you to move around while we pump a couple gallons or so right on up.. so yeah.. I'm not going to lie dude.. it's gonna hurt.. a lot. But don't worry.. theres a little balloon thingy right inside your anus that we fill up so these gallons of Barium that we're forcing in to you wont just come right back out again.. cuz thats messy. Now lay on your left side.. take the picture. Now more Barium.. roll over on your right side. Now more Barium. Have you ever heard of the yoga position called downward facing dog? You'll love it! With the hose still firmly inserted.. get on your knees.. put your butt in the air.. head on the table! Sure.. why not? So now.. I'm doing serious talk to God praying! No exaggeration.. I was praying! "Please dear God.. make this stop.. I can't take this!. Oh my God.. this is the worst thing ever.. what could possibly be WORSE than this !?!? " And I heard God laugh.. he said.. "Wait... there's more!" Xray guy says... by the way.. we're a teaching facility too.. while we're doing this.. would you mind if we bring in a couple students to observe the procedure? I'm 23.. naked on my hands and knees with a garden hose rammed up me while gallons of radioactive waste get pumped in. Sweat is pouring off me. I'm shaking like a junkie. Crying a little.. in a manly dignified way. FINE ! Just get done with it ! In walk 5 .. 18 year old girls! Each one cuter than the next.. all trying not to laugh.. but not succeeding. And who can blame them? Thats some funny stuff.. you know.. when it's not happening to you. I learned a fine lesson from God or the universe or whatever higher power you might believe in... but I learned it well. You only think things are too much to deal with.. but it can always be worse.. and funnier. I'm the dead man who's still talking Be well my friends

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vee-blackwell · 7 years

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didnt feel like retyping this from a chat with my boyfriend really so its just copy pasted but TL;DR my mom is between a wall and a slowly encroaching spiked wall with possibly missing a mandatory manager’s meeting because her assistant manager got arrested.

4:18 AM - Vee Blackwell: soooo my moms assistant manager got arrested 4:18 AM - Vee Blackwell: soooooo she has no cover to take over for her to leave at 9 to pick up other managers for this Absolutely Mandatory manager's meeting 4:19 AM - Vee Blackwell: and she cant have only two employees working in the morning with the stuff going on, plu she needs her books down which the assistant couldve done while covering, but since he's arrested, now its up to her 4:19 AM - Vee Blackwell: and she absolutely can't not show up to the meeting because that's just really bad 4:20 AM - Vee Blackwell: so like, she got this call from him while he was in the back of the cop car. she'd been asleep 40 minutes, and then took a whole hour to even fall back asleep. so im guessing she's had maybe an hou and a half sleep since then 4:20 AM - Vee Blackwell: and she's really stressed so im letting her use the bathroom and get ready and stuff ahead of me since she's got so much going on 8// 4:21 AM - Aqua Admin Magic: yeah no fuck. :occ just to much shit 4:23 AM - Vee Blackwell: yeah. apparently the charge was "interrupting a 911 call" because his daughter or his wife's daughter or something was on the phone with 911, which he didn't know, and from his side of the story, he just told his wife to leave the house, so my mom has no idea what the fuck happened. i guess the guy and his family are sorta white trash she said, and there was something else sorta recently involving him going to a court thing that she said her boss didnt know about, but theres no way her boss wont be in the dark about this assistant being arrested today with however this goes down. he said he thinks he'll be released in the morning but if my mom isnt at the meeting already at noon then she's in trouble. 4:23 AM - Vee Blackwell: i feel so bad there's just so much shit.

#vee says stuff #vee's pathetic little life #vee's family #this really fucking sucks #i hope my mom doesn't get blasted for any of this

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michameinmicha · 7 years

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if u want to do all the sp asks...? i'd like to read that honestly ._. hope this ain't weird...

noooo thats not weird thats super sweet thanks anon

30 South Park Asks(this got really long somehow so i put a cut here)

1. Favorite main character and why they’re your favorite?

Kenny McCormick and because he’s the best.(i think he’s super cute but also kinda disgusting and also funny and also loyal and loving and multi-faceted and i just love him okay)

2. Least favorite main character and why they’re your least favorite?

uh this is kind hard? depends i guessi don’t like Cartman for example but i think he’s an interesting character…?maybe Randy Marsh? i don’t like him and i don’t like his Stories in the show usually… ahhhh idk this is a hard question…..

3. Favorite side character and why?

ohhhh i love Karen so muchh she’s not really that much of an interesting Character on her own but i love her relationship with Kenny obviouslyplus i love most of the fourth graders and the goth kids omgthat’s all i can think of rightnow

4. Least favorite side character and why?

i don’t like most of the grown ups they’re boring and annoyingand they sometimes steal the spotlight (especially in new seasons) that i think should be more about the kids but w/e

5. List as many of the South Park kids as you can in order from fave to least fave!

oh god uhhhhhhKenny, Stan, Kyle, Butters, Wendy, Ike, Tweek, Craig, Jimmy, Bebe, Nicole, David, Karen, Token, Heidi, Cartmanuhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm is that enough? i feel like my brain doesn’t work right today sry…

6. Any characters you feel you can relate to?

Obviously Kenny, couldn’t tell u why thoStan especially the assburgers episodesKyle every time he gets angrysame with Wendy

7. Favorite adult and why?

oh man…. Sheila Broslovski…?she’s annoying but also pretty badass

8. Least favorite adult and why?

pretty much all of themmr garrison is bad pc principal is bad randy marsh is bad i cant even remember that many spontaneously but i dont like most of them so…

9. Any characters that you think deserve more spotlight?

KENNY most of the girlsCraigs gangthe goth kids are always super enterntainingu get my drift

10. Any dead/one-time characters that you want back?

loved damien he was greatalso le mole

11. Are you someone who has a lot of headcanons for SP characters?

i have headcannons for my faves (especially kenny ahhhhhhhhhh)i think i have a lot of ideas for most of the kids but idk how accurate they are so i mostly just kinda keep them to myself i guess

12. Tell me a headcanon that you have for [character name]!

theres no character name here so u get one for kenny (Hah! who wouldve guessed): i imagine he’d have pretty crooked teeth but his parents can’t afford braces for him and he’s kinda envious of stan and kyle who both get braces in their teens (i imagine cartman has annoyingly perfect teeth and kyle hates him for it) and he thinks they look really cute and wishes he could have them too. when he’s older he saves up for a while and get himself these invisiline thingies and he likes them even though they’re not as cute as normal braces

this kinda got outta hand i’m sorry

13. Favorite ship? Tell us why!

Stenny (also like k2) (and stylenny)i honestly dunno why i guess kenny’s just my fave and stan’s my second fave and also i just think they would have such a sweet friendship to lovers thing and i love them dearly ok

14. Least favorite ship? Tell us why! (But don’t tag it; that’s rude!)

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwell since literally everything gets shipped by someone i feel the need to say kid/adult, non-con and incest (fucking obviously)i don’t really like cartman in any relationship because i dont really like cartman(i’m not very interested in style although it can be very sweet don’t get me wrong i wouldnt put it as my least favourite i just think it’s a little overrated)i just generally could get into most ships if its well written and the other way around i guess…?

15. List as many SP ships as you can think of in order of fave to least fave!Stenny, K2, styenny, creek, Style, stylendy, bunny, crenny, staig, stendy, cryle, kenman(?), kyman

(can’t think of more spontaneously)

16. Favorite episode and why?

i love the super hero ones and the lord of the rings-y ones and also episodes that are about kennyalso the ones about the kids are usually good i just like them to go on adventures and have fun ok

17. Least favorite episode and why?

episodes about the grown ups i feel like i’m repeating myself here but yeah they’re boring and annoyingironically enough i don’t like most of the topical, political episodes too much

18. Describe an episode you’d like to see happen someday!

i think i saw this described by someone once and it kinda stuck with mean episode where kenny’s family get super rich for some reason (and probably loses all their money again by the end of the episode since this is still south park) i just think that’d be interesting and also a good setup for some much needed character development

19. To you, what’s the most meaningful moment in the show?

i have no idea how to answer this honestly?

20. To you, what’s the most disgusting/worst moment in the show?

oh god are you kidding me? the whole show is disgusting…

21. Do you enjoy episodes that have a focus on the parents/adults?

ummmmmm i think there are some that i liked…?

22. Do you enjoy when episodes/seasons have an overarching plot?

oh dudey that’s a question to write a book on…i think it could be good but they’re not very good at it yet…?maybe in a few seasons… there’s potential definitely but i’ts kinda hard to answer because the old seasons dont have an overarching plot but to me are way better than the newer ones which haveif that makes any sense…?about episodes i loved the two parters of the lord of the rings thingy so yeah…?

23. What’s the first episode you ever watched?i’m not sure but the first one i remember watching on german mtv in the middle of the night once was the wikileaks lemmiwings one (with the hamster trying to destroy that gossip site (god i’m bad at describe stuff today)) then i saw the assburgers ones in the netherlands on tv before i actively watched all seasons starting with the first

24. What’s your favorite South Park song?

la resistance!!!!!minorities at my waterpark is a sweet one too tho

oh god and the lets make bullying kill itself is so gooood too yes!

25. How and why did you get into South Park?

because of fanart i saw and i wanted to get to know the charactersi bingewatched it all like two years ago (?) in the summer holidaysbefore that i had only come across it on tv in german only and i really don’t like the dubbed version but when i saw it in the netherlands in english with subs i realised it’s way funnier in the original so i started watching it

26. Have you ever felt weird for liking South Park?

kinda when i try to explain why i love the characters to friends who haven’t really seen the show (or who have seen it and thought it was bad) but generally i dont hang out with people who make me feel weird for liking the things i like so its not really a problem

27. Have you watched every single episode?

i think i didnt see some of the latest season

28. Have you played any South Park games? Which ones?

i really wanted and still want to get the stick of truth but its kinda hard to get the uncut version here so i haven’t

29. How well would you say you know South Park trivia?

not very; i’m so bad at remembering stuff

30. Tell us a SP fact; any one will do!

there’s very little cannon facts about how the kids are gonna grow up and pretty much a lot about them and their appearance and stuff at all and you can literally imagine them in any way you want and i think that’s beautiful

i’m sorry this got kinda confusing and repetitive and vague (my brain didn’t cooperate with me as much as i wouldve expected)but thank you for asking me it was fun still

#Anon #ask #mine #south park

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the5thforce-blog · 7 years

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Consciousness

The Naked ScientistsToggle navigation Messages * Profile Info Modify Profile Actions Show Posts This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to. Messages Topics Attachments Thanked Posts Posts Thanked By User Messages - the5thforce Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 7 1 Just Chat ! / Re: Politics « on: Today at 08:35:15 » In my opinion North Korea should be allowed to do whatever China allows them to do with one guarantee: equal nuclear capability or coverage provided by NATO for, in, and around South Korea and hopefully it will serve as the very last lesson on what happens when earlier prevention isnt engaged, NATO should also invest the size of North Koreas GDP into missile defense and get started on creating a new symbolic island near Hawaii armed shore to shore with a missile defense system potent enough to intimidate every nuclear armed country, investment into understanding aerodynamics and spatial tracking will be infinitely useful in the future ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 2 Just Chat ! / Re: Politics « on: Today at 04:22:13 » National debt is an investment from mutually respecting countries, since the world is patiently keeping an eye on Trump to decide how functional social diversity can be we shouldnt oppose new debt to pay for advances in minimally hostile social organization which all countries can learn or benefit from, since diversity always requires compatibility to be more complex thus challenging and diversity for better and worse is already fundamentally our role in the world we need to consider how intriguing american history is compared to other countries, the story itself captures the globes attention, increased diversity and mass communication allows increased state autonomy with only the military force NATO needing to cooperate, military dense coastal states like California can easily leverage their importance within the N.A.T.O. above all Since communication and organization through space and time is all life can really ever attain, we need the media to reflect the majority of the population, very few are worried about the unhappiness of the small amount of gay males in every population because men are the most socially available, going forward we can only work to decrease the now shamelessly self proclaimed 30 percent of women in same sex relationships who can only bottleneck the emotional energy of the gender with on average 4 billion more light flashing reality perceiving neurons in their minds- eventually back down closer to the 1-2 percent of men in same sex relationships which we had before giving women citizenship, every heterosocial female convert from the now massive ~60% pool of bisexual females counts in this hole-y sexual war we've created in our largely post race-war society, only after sexual parity can we even begin to minimize them all back down to the lowest functional ratio where risking the birth of straight males into homosocial environments approaches absolute 0, due to analogous sex organs we can definitively say lesbians or deviant female organs serve as the placeholder for all homosexual genes, until the very last human couple in existence is the logically heteroswitching technological ideal that a naturally 50-50 gender parity species is intended to find most desireable ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 3 Just Chat ! / Politics « on: Today at 02:46:25 » Since theres usually no way to deport every "illegal" immigrant in a country the best solution is better organization in the future without disrupting relatively functional low-hostility local social ecosystems, theres many ways to improve desireable organization both human and electronic "borders" including radar, camera and seismic to know who, second: physical indicators such as fences and walls to know where, third: communication such as multitranslated signs and minimally disruptive audio information systems similar to national parks and theme parks to know what, communication is the capability of all living organisms which is fundamentally electrically/light based, ideally all who are able to cross should be recognized as either sufficiently physically or mentally capable at the time of crossing to follow the social laws of the land, but all countries are ideally desireable to live in either way, education and potentially military service should be considered for those showing the ability to enter each new country Healthcare in the future will be universal once nuclear fusion becomes both efficiently reactor sustained and solar harvested, but before then a publicly funded healthcare system and a privately funded healthcare system oscillating and competing to advance the quality and affordability of healthcare is likely the best solution, since most countries already invest in public university operated healthcare these facilities should work to offer the most affordable care while the medical professionals gain enough skill and experience to advance to private universities and private hospitals where their experience and skill provides the incentive for patients to pay more for the care, public university hospitals should be required to create a waiting list for first come first serve free citizen healthcare near equal to public tax investment though of course with a small rake for the university's success, our new advantage is itself the infrastructure already in place Military technological investment is both the biggest driver of peaceful and hostile technological advancement, increased communication between both sides of the 'sword' is the only way towards useful progress, obviously in this age of diplomatic gentlemen we have the capability to thoroughly annihilate all life on earth, acknowledging and respecting regionally influential populatons builds trustworthy democracy ReplyQuoteNotify 4 New Theories / Re: What are the economics of sexual orientation? « on: 30/03/2017 21:44:27 » Since were all just the products of sex requiring opposite but analogous sex organs, homo'sex'uality even when caused by physical dysfunction is the definition of sexism or "sexiation", this disruption to social balance can only increase the probability of everyone elses innocent children getting abused and disrupting their development which has become the most vicious cycle that ever existed ultimately homosexuality is an intersex (spectrum) disruption of the human sexual goldilocks ratio which has the ability to occur in any energy self contained gender analogous organism particularly when accelerated by either radiation or sensory stimuli such as "hallucinations" or extrasubjective perception but eventually creating common understanding and universal morality which in our case is technologically assisted through our mastery of electricity powering the internet ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 5 New Theories / Re: What are the economics of sexual orientation? « on: 30/03/2017 19:56:56 » Since humans evolved with a hymen the best way to nurture healthy energy-contributing (straight) females is education, good sex requires practice and understanding the clitoris-clitoral bulb trapdoor/displacement mechanism which provides stimulation during penetration, knowing and visualizing sex correctly would be required to maximize arrousal, adequate proper sex fine tunes the muscles of the vagina to prepare for childbirth minimizing pain and injury, obviously the body isnt developed until the end of puberty so practicing sex before the end of puberty is misguided and may interfere with development (15-17 plus giving psychological runway until 18 as western countries do), after proper education you can fetishize the motion of the clitoris tugging/bouncing to the cadence of penetration which cant be recreated with same sex contact, since humans do look similar homo'sex'uality has become the path of least resistence for some lacking proper education, while common metaphors and religion all aim to educate humans- for example putting your hands in a praying position and then curling or cupping your hands demonstrates the trapdoor mechanism, kingdoms or castles tend to have trapdoors, trap is all around, if our minds all use the same laws of physics our understanding of physics can only increase mental similarity which is morality Since we dont have unlimited resources including space and time, were eternally bound to energy economics which homosociality can only disrupt causing disorder and pathology, virtual reality will never equal the energy efficiency of baseline reality or interaction with other baseline minds which goldilocks/energy transfer thresholds infinitely prevent, sexually-reproductively functional physical/genetic/dna diversity is our only tool to resist radiation which is a fundamental property of energy ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 6 New Theories / Re: Ethical consciousness « on: 30/03/2017 01:49:13 » Quote from: tkadm30 on 29/03/2017 23:34:07 Quote from: the5thforce on 22/03/2017 05:36:36 homo-sexuality is a contradiction, gays are asexual mutual masturbating victims of a radioactive mutation we can safely catagorize with decay and dysfunction... Please leave the gays and lesbians alone. Sexual orientation is free will in motion. There's no fundamental contradiction in accepting the fact that humans have free will. Your "ethical consciousness" seems a little lost or dysfunctional. Either ways, it's quite rude and foolish to label homosexuals as "asexual mutual masturbating victims". As a reminder, this is a science forum, not a scientology forum. I could never so long as gays continue to take the free will of children by artificially procreating and spreading their incompatible sex organs while the media continues promoting incoherent ideas of gender to children and ignoring the overwhelmingly female parity of same sex genital contact, while I sympathize with intersexuality or poorly fitting genitals, homo-"sex"uality is a contradiction which insults the intelligence of all who study anatomy, we evolved and are designed to enjoy heterosexuality primarily as the penis requires lubricant and the clitoral bulbs fill with blood during arrousal providing stimulating clitoral displacement during penetration ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 7 Physiology & Medicine / Re: Did the vagina evolve to operate like a trapdoor? « on: 30/03/2017 00:48:38 » In short: penetration causes proportionate clitoral displacement ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 8 New Theories / Pest control « on: 28/03/2017 19:17:41 » If we have to live with bugs anyway, in order to control which ones we live with we must plant the ones we want, bugs can be trained to avoid an area using physical discipline and scent, silverfish are slower thus easier to train and transport plus they blend in better while competing for the same food as roaches, if a building is infested with roaches undesireably we can introduce ants to remove roach eggs and excess resources then introduce silverfish to maintain the building. Spiders can also be used to remove undesired bugs but they may be too efficient at killing, we can also consider breeding or genetically engineering even more desireable bugs, ones that are multicolored, neon, glow in the dark or lightup like fireflies, but we should be careful not to disturb the ecosystem ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 9 New Theories / Re: Multiverse gravity « on: 28/03/2017 18:16:51 » Aliens might be influencing the solar winds from our sun partially manipulating the organisms on earth, but gravity is superior and we all have free will ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 10 New Theories / Re: Multiverse gravity « on: 28/03/2017 01:58:01 » Multiverse gravity may be considered influence from our creator, the ultimate boltzmann brain connected to everything, god The gravity between the competing infinities of simulations vs originals may potentially distort time allowing communication ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 11 New Theories / Re: What are the economics of sexual orientation? « on: 28/03/2017 00:38:42 » Men are probably 'capable' of around 50,000 or more orgasms in an 80 year lifespan, after 2 weeks spontaneous ejaculation is likely but the tension can become uncomfortable so few wait- especially in our crowded society where casual interaction is expected. Since we can only create both males and females, parents should reflect offspring to avoid creating a social vacuum and acknowledge the massive responsibility male biological pressures are, the majority of men desire monogamy out of functionality as long term consistent sex with one woman is always more desireable than one easily forgotten night with even the most attractive which porn has decreased the value of while further reinforcing consistency as the highest priority. With 80% of divorces filed by women in western countries we should increase the incentive to stay together until each childs 18th year and realize life is exponentially more valuable before the end of brain development, especially going forward now that most of our problems only require engineering fusion, biology, software, environment, space all heavily assisted by computer simulations ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 12 New Theories / Multiverse gravity « on: 25/03/2017 10:33:16 » The multiverse's gravity keeps it together in time which means consciousness is the center of a supersymmetric energy feedback loop where each moment is a superposition within infinity, spatial energy polarity like gender/charge, mass and color can be called supersymmetrical within the multiverse ReplyQuoteNotify 13 New Theories / Re: What are the economics of sexual orientation? « on: 25/03/2017 09:55:50 » For better and worse, female rape victims rarely become calculated motivated serial killers or world war dictators so we can safely say neglect and social isolation is infinitely more psychologically and socially damaging, clearly both are undesired but by nature inversely proportionate and reinforced by a lifelong victim mentality We need to establish permanently that the mission is superior, all enjoyable deviance equals someone elses misfortune ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 14 New Theories / Re: DNA Pixelation « on: 25/03/2017 09:24:59 » Analogies and logic, were spatial holograms with the longest dna edit- google says theres a dna strand longer than human but human is likely longest atomically with the most overturn over 4 billion years ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 15 New Theories / Re: DNA Pixelation « on: 25/03/2017 08:19:46 » High radiation has caused excess human gender variation, men are forced to resist the bad radiation ratio provided by our sun to ensure their decaying DNA survives We should identify the genetic ratio that would ensure the longest survival when deciding who can live on mars ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 16 New Theories / Re: An essay in futility, too long to read :) « on: 25/03/2017 07:22:12 » Geographic manipulation of the population and prime numbers of pi causing gold influence ReplyQuoteNotify 17 New Theories / Re: Mind is the best virtual reality « on: 25/03/2017 06:41:54 » More neurons allows more memory which allows more consciousness- both emotion and intellect When language has divided human genders beyond compatibility, bigger minds can only be wasted spreading their light to machines and technology ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 18 New Theories / DNA Pixelation « on: 25/03/2017 06:20:50 » Melanin preserves DNA density by blocking radiation, radiation causes mutation which inflates the DNA and decreases cellular density causing pixelation, racial mixing decreases excess genetic inflation which increases cellular density but also increases cellular malleability/adaptability which increases the risk of incompatibility when gone wrong, denser cells allow for more synapses and neurons, faster and denser muscle fibers, and more elasticity Inbreeding preserves desireable traits which increases compatibility but also increases DNA pixelation Pixelation allows lighter weight and requires less energy but decreases functionality ReplyQuoteNotify 19 New Theories / Re: Internet-DNA « on: 25/03/2017 04:05:32 » We can use the internet to reverse dna pixelation ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 20 New Theories / Re: Sex is our primary function « on: 24/03/2017 14:20:25 » We need all the sexually compatible genetics we can sustain due to our decreasing ozone layer allowing more radiation into our atmosphere combined with satellite and wireless radiation rattling our DNA constantly which is accelerating human mutation along with all other organisms on earth ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 21 New Theories / Re: Mind is the best virtual reality « on: 24/03/2017 13:33:43 » if we could design our own stem cells in our mind and release them to become any cell we could become shapeshifters ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 22 New Theories / Re: Internet-DNA « on: 24/03/2017 01:31:08 » DNA is the longest living chemical reaction, the internet is a reflection of our DNA ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 23 Physiology & Medicine / Re: Did the vagina evolve to operate like a trapdoor? « on: 24/03/2017 00:02:48 » Collagen promotes skin elasticity which can only be sufficiently consumed on high meat diets, veganism is creating less elastic females which may improve sex for some females but during pregnancy and puberty a diet high in collagen is necessary to minimize damage ReplyQuoteNotifyRemove 24 Physiology & Medicine / Re: Does benzodiazepine use cause brain damage long term? « on: 23/03/2017 23:23:55 » Benzos similar to weed inhibit memory formation, over time memory degrades if you dont use it but the altered states of memory were the desired result anyway Tranquilizers inhibit muscle formation over time and are known to cause heart attacks and other motor dysfunction Its safe to say memory (brain) inhibitors should treat mental problems and muscle inhibitors should tranquilize the moving problems ReplyQuoteNotify 25 Physiology & Medicine / Re: Mixing abilify and cannabis? « on: 23/03/2017 22:25:22 » Debilify the tranquilizer only serves to ensure your tolerance to the real medicine- benzos stays low enough to work when needed as a last resort Abilify costs 24usd per pill, benzos cost 00.02usd, the only problem with benzos is they work too well- they allow unhappy people to finally pull the plug without anxiety and usually without a fuss Tranquilizers known to cause heart attacks and other muscle disorders need to be the last resort while benzos should be available in every convenience store ReplyQuoteNotify Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 7 SMF 2.0.13 | SMF © 2016, Simple Machines Enotify by CreateAForum.com SMFAds for Free Forums Naked Science Forum © Page created in 0.067 seconds with 71 queries. 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