#and they WENT TO THE ADOBE OFFICES??? APPARENTLY??????????

[hostilemuppet]

sometimes i think about what the rest of the cast couldve looked like if they were designed around the same time as lammy and truffles

[dollarbin]

Shakey Sundays #33:

Silver and Gold

I've periodically lost interest in Neil Young.

A teenage summer spent living in a trailer next to a tepee that contained a poor dude going through an alcoholic spiral with Young's rambling, late 90's Crazy Horse record Broken Arrow as his soundtrack turned me off Shakey for a spell. So did Neil's seemingly endless run-in with Promise of the Real Pancakes.

But I always get lured back in, and Silver and Gold, Young's even later 90's bookend to the decade-opening Harvest Moon, has often served as powerful bait.

It was 1999 and my buddy Matt told me he'd build my wife and I a desk. We spent a weekend in his almost beach-front office, drinking beer and molding plywood together, Neil's fairly jubilant Buffalo Springfield Again swelling with encouragement.

And it was 2006 and I had my very first IPod, a hand-me-down chrome job from my hipstress sister-in-law, and only a few things were loaded into it for an overnight drive to Las Vegas and beyond while my wife and two young kids slept the drive away in our old Volvo. The dawn funneled through spiraling canyons of adobe and sandstone; it was good to hear Neil Young again.

And it was a year ago now and the brooding remnants of a Pacific hurricane were hurling down all around us in an altogether different car as we cautiously approached the airport: my daughter was heading back to her last year of college and, apparently, flights had not been cancelled. It looked and felt a bit like the apocalypse outside but my daughter played us a new Adrianne Lenker song and wanted me to explain the Neil Young reference within it.

And so that led to hearing Razor Love, Neil's under-the-radar epic, as we worked with care through floods and wind.

And it was just this morning, and I was standing in the street at 4:50am, looking up at surprising stars and an overhead moon while I waited for my son to emerge from our house. We were on our way to the airport once again, this time for his sophomore year. I felt sad; I felt anxious; I felt at peace; I felt the planet rotating with me on it.

And I remembered my best friend dying when we were just 26 years old. I got to his hospital room just moments after his passing and found his body where he'd left it, flat on the bed. But he was gone; he had up and left. Right then, in one of the saddest moments of my life, I was filled with conviction. I was filled with awe.

Like Neil says,

This I can't deny I know that you can fly 'Cause I'm here on the ground without you.

Like visitors from space, it's hard to find a place, to blend in and go unrecognized. But we do, don't we?

And a year, or three, or ten, from now I'll be in some record store and I'll stumble upon a used vinyl copy of Silver and Gold for the first time in my life. Something will be wrong with it - Daddy Went Walkin' might skip or maybe it won't even have a cover - but I'll grin and claim it all the same, eager to drop the needle into its shakey grooves whenever a transition is coming and I want Neil to help guide my way.

Because that guy in the tepee? He made it through. And my wife and I mapped out our shared future on that desk. And we saw Yellowstone in that Volvo, surviving a baseball-sized hail storm along the way. And the plane pulled easily through those hurricane skies and took my daughter safely back for her senior year, just like another plane is doing for my son as I write.

[danpuff-ao3]

Following my office tour from yesterday, and my fanbinding adventure from Thursday, I figured I'd show y'all my extra space and another fanbinding update!

It's just outside of my office area. By my shoe rack because we really are running out of space 😂

On Friday, my partner placed an order for the bulk of my binding needs! Plus: the Cricut Joy! It might be a teensy bit too small for what I wanted it for, but we'll see if I can make do. Even if not, it's still a neat thing to have!

Most of what he ordered came in yesterday, but there are a few more items coming in within the next few days! Nothing worth showing off, but all the supplies are in that blue bin!

So with that: it was time to get my first big project ready! And thus the main source of this update, which is "silly mistakes." And was mostly me screwing around in Scrivener and Adobe with vague ideas because I'm stubborn and like to figure things out on my own. 🙄

What I learned is: I need to figure out a setting for viewing pages in Scrivener. Which I'm fairly sure is doable. And in the meantime do this sorta work in Google Docs.

There were 2 main sources of trouble I believe. The first being: this is a bigger project than the 2 small test prints previous, and so more room to find trouble areas. The second being...I exported the projects differently 🫣 In my defense, the setting I printed my test runs in was "paperback" and I realized yesterday that...that needs to be setup, or else it exports "default." So I went with "default."

Turns out: there are differences between "default" and "paperback" but it was such a relatively small detail compared to others, that it wasn't immediately apparent. As in: I spent all night fixing other problems and got to the end, thinking myself a champion, only to realize: the text here is way too small. Like tiny.

Before this, I'd had to shift a few things between pages (not fun), add blank pages (which screwed up my page numbering), and spent way too much time trying to figure out how to fix the page numbering before I realized: I have to manually update the page numbers, because all I can do in Adobe is fix how the pages are labelled in Adobe. And it was after all that I realized my text size issue.

I'm not sure how or why because Adobe tells me the text is the same font and size as I had it in Scrivener. But the "paperback" export option 100% will print bigger. Someone more familiar with all of this than me is probably laughing but oh well.

Also did I mention I only noticed this after printing all of my signatures?

Yeah.

I was checking that other issues had been fixed. And the way the text printed is as tiny as it looks in Scrivener. And I originally shrank the text in Scrivener because of previous test prints. 😒

Scrivener is great for writing, but not for fanbinding apparently. Or maybe it's fine and I just need to know what the heck I'm doing haha.

Anyway, basically I exported from Scrivener into a PDF like 20 times yesterday adjusting various issues in Scrivener. Then played around in Adobe Acrobat for hours. And even then, I still had to renumber my pages again. Manually. But I finished that this morning! By like 5 AM because I wake up absurdly early.

Which means: I can print today! Maybe I'll even stitch the signatures together, that way I can focus on new skills once all my other supplies come in!

My next step will probably be to learn whether I can use the Cricut for foiling the way I wanted, but I have to wait for my foil transfer kit to come in. Once I know whether I can or not, I'll be able to move onto the rest!

Also, like, why do I have to work this week when I have a new hobby to learn?? 😭

Bonus: the painting I have above my printer!

My mom, sister, and I did some paint class thing together a few years ago. We were all painting a "street lamp in New Orleans." I wanted to give the street a Harry Potter-esque name, but my brain came up with "Blood Dr." and I'm still to this day giggling about it. It also amuses me how gloomy and morbid it is against the brightly colored backdrop.

[warriordreamer95]

HUGE list of info we’ve learned from the After The Fall Novel

(Courtesy of NeoVelociraptorDelta from RWBY wiki for making this list. You’re incredible!) SPOILERS AHEAD, DON’T CLICK IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW

Grimm

Dromedon are camel like Grimm that can spit venom (p.150). Jackalopes are huge four-legged beasts with black fur, branching red and white antlers, and powerful hind legs (p.150). Ziraphs are three headed Grimm that resemble a giraffe. Their bodies are covered in red spots that bear resemblances to a leopard, and each head has two horns. The Ziraph is described as five stories tall, and has razor-like plates on their (four) legs (p.151). Ravagers are small bat-like Grimm, that are described as dark and leathery, and are uglier than Nevermores (p.69). A visual will be provided by RWBY Amity Arena soon, if datamines are to be believed. A Blind Worm is an enormous worm-like Grimm with a singular red eye. These Worms are easily as big as Flatback Sliders, but are built to be far faster when traveling in sands. Their defenses include hooks and pitons for teeth and acidic blood (p.263). King Taijitu are also native to Vacuo

Carmine Esclados and Bertilak Celadon Carmine and Bertilak are veteran Huntsmen who work for an unknown employer that has hired them to traffic people with powerful Semblances for an unknown motive. In After the Fall, the duo targets Gus and Edward Caspian, having met them in Vale and followed them to the Felspar settlement Vacuo (p.28). They are detained and arrested by team CFVY. Both Carmine and Bertilak are originally from Shade Academy (p.32). Bertilak Celadon Bertilak is a tall, broad, and muscular man with a green mohawk and matching goatee. He sports a brown, hooded cloak, a green chestplate, and a black tunic. Bertilak has a long scar along his right forearm, and uses a large chained mace (p.31). He is 6’6” (p.215). He is racist towards Faunus. He apparently barely graduated from the Academy (p.31), and is considered an ass, as Fox put (p.108). Celadon’s Semblance is generating heat, he can use it to form walls of sand and to cause enemies to be exhausted (p.137). Bertalik faces off against Fox Alistair and Edward Caspian in a sandstorm, and is subsequently defeated. His weapon is destroyed. Carmine Esclados Carmine hails from the Kingdom of Atlas, though she claims she chose to study in Shade Academy due to a disdain towards Atlas Academy’s uniforms (p.35). Her clothes are from Mistral (p.33). Carmine’s Semblance is Telekinesis, which she frequently uses to create localized weather patterns and to manipulate her weapons (p.254). Additionally, Carmine has used her Semblance to dig tunnels through sand in order to escape peril. Carmine is stated to have less mastery over her Semblance than Glynda Goodwitch. She is defeated by Yatsuhashi Daichi, Velvet Scarlatina, and Coco Adel.

Wildlife Vacuan wildlife includes, but is not limited to: Geckos Mole crabs; massive crab-like creatures that move in herds and bury themselves in the sand. Their blood is described as a clear liquid, and their bodies contain water that is almost black in color. Mole crabs are considered a delicacy in Vacuo, and are very rarely killed due to how dangerous they are. Flatback sliders; giant turtles that average at 100ft of height and swim through Vacuan deserts. Sliders have terrible vision, and are considered a sign of good luck when spotted. They are not Grimm (p.204). Food in Remnant Mistral is the kingdom with the most spices in all of Remnant (p.36). Vacuan food includes: Cactus leaves, coffee, crab burgers, crab steak, crab cake, crab rangoon, fried crevice worms, cave beetles (toasted), desert lotus tea, cactus tea, gecko cake (p.30), bat stew, ale, flatbread (p.37), breadfruit (p.79) Sand is jokingly referred to as the “local spice” of Vacuo as it can’t be fully removed when preparing food. Shade Academy Notes Graduates: Carmine Esclados and Bertalik Celadon Headmaster: Theodore (p.33) Professor: Rumpole (p.19)

Beacon Academy Notes Initiation For CFVY’s initiation, the characters were hurled into the Emerald Forest much like in Volume 1. The Relics they were assigned to obtain were small stone tablets with playing card symbols etched onto them. Coco obtained the Joker Fox took the King of Hearts Velvet took the Queen of Hearts All upperclassmen watch the initiation live from Beacon, and judge newcomers based on their performances. Professors and Classes Ann Greene - Stealth and Security (p.80) Thumbelina Peach - Plant Science (p.269) Peter Port - Military Strategy (p.269) Harold Mulberry - Weapon Crafting and Upkeep (p.269) Bartholomew Oobleck - Legends of Remnant (p.269) Glynda Goodwitch - Combat Training (p.269) Ozpin does not teach any classes. The clockwork in Oz’s office is meant to symbolize how rules are crucial to keep things moving (at least to some extent; p.245) Standard Schedule at Beacon: 7:30am - Breakfast 8am - class 9:45am - class 11:15am - class 12:30pm - lunch 1:30pm - class 2:15pm - class 4pm - class 5pm - self-directed sparring 6pm - dinner Beacon sends students on missions more often than other Academies, and gives students more one on one time with professionals (p.270)

Pharos Academy Pharos is a combat school in Vale. Coco and Velvet attended Pharos. They knew of each other but weren’t friends then. Coco developed a reputation for being a heartbreaker and record setter. Vega Bleu is a friend of Velvet who also went to Pharos, but chose to go to Atlas. He wields a pair of arm-mounted grappling hooks (p.52)

Vacuo Notes Popular Vacuan tourist gift shop t-shirts include: “Vacuo: The Wrong Place at the Wrong Time” and “A Terrible Place to Visit, but You Wouldn’t Want to Live Here” (p.1) Vacuan fashion: simple, light-colored tunics and linen cloaks/head coverings (p.15) Vacuo has a survival of the fittest lifestyle, and strength/survivability makes you well liked (p.15) Vacuan settlements/tribes include: Tuff, destroyed by Grimm Oscuro Coquina Kenyte (partially destroyed by a giant sinkhole) Schist (destroyed by Grimm) Feldspar It’s built out of several tents, trucks/vans, and adobe homes without and defenses Has a support CCT tower Vacuan deserts are windy, thus making it extremely hard to track people in the sandy environment (p.23) Aloe is a common sunscreen in Vacuo The saying ‘I’ll take a rain check’ means the same as ‘when pigs fly’ in Vacuo Vacuan terms: Misery’s Kiss (sunstroke), Lasting Regret (food poisoning), Sudden Demise (giant sinkholes; p. 78).

Edward and August ‘Gus’ Caspian Edward is a slender, old man at 71 years of age with silver hair tied into a ponytail and a stubble. He is a former Huntsman, which is surprising because most Huntsmen don’t live long. His weapon is a small buckler shield with a metal blade (p.81) and a gun function (p.179). Edward’s Semblance is blocking other people’s Semblances. Gus has the Semblance of amplifying emotions, only he can’t control it. He kept this a secret from others (p.130). He has no interest in being a Huntsman, unlike his grandfather, Edward. August is roughly eleven or twelve. The Caspians were targeted by Carmine, Bertalik, and their unknown boss because of their powerful Semblances.

CFVY and Other Teams CFVY and RWBY became friends shortly after the latter team was formed. Ruby seems to be close to Coco, Velvet and Fox. Both teams respect each other due to their respective hotshot reputations. The two teams lost touch after the Fall of Beacon. CFVY and Neptune/Sun were friends. They meet each other in the Epilogue of the book in the settlement of Coquina, where Sun informs the team about the events at the Battle of Haven, meaning After the Fall takes place right at the start of Volume 6. Velvet notes that Sun doesn’t seem like he wants to stay in Shade for long.

The Battle and Fall of Beacon Velvet observed team ABRN easily defeat a Death Stalker during the Battle of Beacon Roy Stallion was killed after being carried off by a Nevermore, the rest of team BRNZ is missing, presumed to be dead. Glynda set up her office in a library after the Fall of Beacon, and is operating the reconstruction of Vale. Team CFVY does not trust the Kingdom of Atlas following the Fall. Beringels were present at the Fall of Beacon.

Team CFVY’s Missions CFVY’s mission in the present day was to defend the settlement of Gossan due to a Grimm outbreak after they received a distress call. They found the settlement had been destroyed, and aided the survivors in reaching the settlement of Feldspar. After Feldspar was invaded by Grimm, the team successfully lead the nomads to Coquina without any casualties. They uncovered Carmine and Bertalik’s plan to traffic people, and arrested the two. CFVY’s Mt. Glenn mission was considered an outright failure. The team was sent to a small settlement called Lower Cairn near Mt. Glenn due to a distress call. There, they found the settlement was outright flattened, which was incredibly outside the Grimm’s MO. CFVY found a family of six hiding in a cave near the ruins, and attempted to rescue them. To their horror, the father was killed by an Ursa, and the rest of the family fled back to the cave. The cave was then flattened by a Goliath that appeared, causing CFVY to retreat. The mission lasted ten days and was supervised by Professor Port, CFVY believes Ozpin overestimated their team. In V2, Velvet lies to team RWBY about their mission, partially due to shock and in part to not frighten the first years, given they were leaving off on their own missions shortly.

Ada Ada, or an “Accessibility Dialogue Assistant” is an earbud device intended to aid people with disabilities. It is designed to send pulses to distinguish the nearby environment, and is activated through voice control (p.46). Ada has a compass function(p. 176), as well as a battle mode called the Cyrano Protocol, which identifies weapons and weaknesses. The entire Ada system adapts to fit the user over time (p.178).

Miscellaneous Pig snouts are a confirmed Faunus trait (p.30) Pumpkin Pete is also a Looney Tunes-esque cartoon in addition to the cereal brand (p.12) Curry Up is one of the restaurants at Vale (p.239) Ruby made her V1 outfit herself with roughly 20 Lien (p.112) Coco and Oz once had a talk much like Ruby and Oz did in V1 (p. 117) Fox and Yatsuhashi confronted Weiss about her attitude in V1, shortly after team RWBY was formed (p. 121) More books in Remnant:  The Boy Who Fell from the Sky (p.122), My Sweet Samurai, and Hidden Remnant (p.161). ‘Catnap’ is an offensive term when talking about cat Faunus (p.161).

Fox Alistair Fox’s Semblance is that of telepathy. He can send message to people’s minds to convey his thoughts, and he can sense when people are close by. Fox’s Semblance is more precise if people are close by. When using it, other people feel as though they are being watched by something. He is originally from the Vacuan tribe of Kenyte, where he was considered a frail boy by his parents and peers. His parents were killed when a part of the settlement was destroyed in a sinkhole, resulting in him being taken care of by the tribe in a communal fashion. Fox was trained to fight by his honorary uncle, Copper, as he was the one person who didn’t view Alistair as frail. Copper was eventually killed by the tribe for training him as a punishment. Because of this, Fox decided to turn to Vale with the goal of protecting others who couldn’t protect themselves. Fox’s weapons are called Sharp Retribution.

Yatsuhashi Daichi Yatsuhashi’s Semblance allows him to wipe other people’s memories when he touches them. He can permanently wipe “easy memories,” which are trivial in nature, and temporarily wipe important memories, which return on an equal basis as to how they were wiped (so, if he were to wipe a day, then the person regains the memory the next day). Yatsu uses the Semblance sparingly, only wiping seconds at a time. Yatsuhashi was born in the city of Mistral, where he lived with his parents, grandfather, and his sister, Hiyoko. At the age of eight, he discovered his Semblance, and being a problem child, decided to use it to his advantage. However, this took a turn when, in a fit of jealousy, he wiped his mother’s memory of his sister for a day. Yatsuhashi was traumatized by this, and took care of Hiyoko while he waited for his mother’s memory to return. Once they did, he came clean to his parents about discovering his Semblance, to which his parents told him to never use the Semblance again. However, his grandfather suggested that he went to Beacon to master it to use his ability for good. Yatsu’s greatsword is called Fulcrum.

Coco Adel Coco’s Semblance, simply called Hype, allows her to use her Aura to increase the effects and power of Dust. She uses this to power the effect of her gatling gun’s bullets, thus explaining her power level in Volume 2. Additionally, Fox notes Coco has a large amount of Aura. She is native to Vale, and studied in Pharos, having developed a reputation as a heartbreaker and a record setter. Coco notes Ozpin reminds her of her younger brother. She admires Glynda’s leadership and tries to replicate that when talking to her team and when encouraging Ruby Rose. She designed her gatling gun, Gianduja, herself.

Velvet Scarlatina Velvet’s Semblance is Photographic Memory, it allows her to easily learn skills that would otherwise take years to master. Velvet, like Coco, is from Vale and studied in Pharos. At her time in the school, tormentors from Mistral frequently bullied her, causing Velvet to gain a deep seeded hatred for the Kingdom. She also dislikes Vacuo, mainly because it’s simply not as comfortable as Vale was to her. Velvet is sassy when with her team in comparison to her usual shyness around others. Her camera is called Anesidora.

Slate Slate is an old woman with spiky grey hair and what is described as a leathery face. She is the leader of Gossan nomadic tribe, and the former mayor of Tuff (where the tribe was originally settled), which had recently been destroyed by a Grimm outbreak (p.14). Slate is highly respected as a leader, gaining the trust of the entire nomadic tribe and team CFVY.

[onlyfox511]

Cs6 For Mac Hack Tumblr

Getting OpenCL Working with the Quadro 4000 Mac on Lion

Cs6 For Mac Hack Tumblr Free

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Cs6 For Mac Hack Tumblr Video

Cs6 For Mac Hack Tumblr Free

See a recent post on Tumblr from @unmistakablemistakes-blog about free-photoshop-download. Discover more posts about free-photoshop-download. Download 75,000+ premium assets from the new Adobe Stock Free Collection. All of these trials are supported on Mac OS X or Windows (32-bit x86 and 64-bit x64), with the exception of After Effects CS6, Premiere Pro CS6, and SpeedGrade CS6 which are 64-bit only. Adobe Illustrator CS6 is a powerful vector drawing tool that includes everything you'll need for design, web and video projects. One major headline this time is the new focus on performance. True 64-bit support and Adobe's Mercury Performance System play a big part in improving responsiveness, but Adobe have also been identifying and resolving.

Optavia Cheesy Buttermilk Cheddar Mac Hack Office Mac 365 Hack Dragon City Hack Mac Gta 5 Hack Tool Ps3 Mac Mac Processes That Are Hack How Hard Is It To Hack A Mac Computer Hack Photoshop Cs6 Mac Speed Hack Geometry Dash 2.11 Mac Software Peer To Peer Per Mac Mac Flooding In Ethical Hacking.

Chose one serial + PILIH Salah satu WORKING 99% per 13 Januari 2013 1330-1971-4830-1762 1330-1912-2628-0850-0232-4869 1330-1148-0472-2735-6555-0617 1330-1544-4195-8131-3034-5634 1330-1886-0283-4688-9152-2034 1330-1118-3174-6558-8260-5378 OR 1330-1971-4830-5668-6067-1762 1330-1912-2628-0850-0 232-4869 1330-1148-0472-2735-6555-0617 1330-1544-4195-8131-3034-5634 1330-1886-0283-46 88.

When I reviewed the Quadro 4000 for Mac, Snow Leopard was the current OS and Lion was in beta. OpenCL support was in the betas but then, for no apparent reason, it was pulled. It worked fine and the Lion drivers fixed the stability issues that plagued the Quadro 4000 in Snow Leopard, so it was anyone guess as to why it suddenly went AWOL. But it seems that the support is actually still in Lion, you just have to change some bits in the driver with a program like the post at the top here to find the values to change in the two files in the “/System/Library/Extensions/GeForceGLDriver.bundle” bundle. Don’t use the Perl tip in that thread – the code is broken by the board’s formatting. To be safe, copy the bundle to your desktop, copy it and work on the copy. Then once the edits are done, delete the GeForceGLDriver.bundle from the Extensions and quickly copy the edited bundle into the Extensions folder within The Finder and reboot. After that, OpenCL will work with all apps (despite the incorrect clock value shown below).

SmallLUXGPU before the hack:

SmallLUXGPU After:

Even V-Ray RT GPU works, and this is probably the most complex OpenCL app out there:

Cs6 For Mac Hack Tumblr Download

Currently, that doesn’t even work on Radeons in OS X (AMD and Apple will have it fixed by Mountain Lion’s release), so whoever made the call to turn it has some splainin’ to do. People lamenting the lack of V-Ray RT GPU in OS X shouldn’t worry too much – it is still far more limited than RT on the CPU and less stable, on all OSes. Anyway, the good news is that this hack will only be needed for another month or so, since OpenCL is enabled by default for the Quadro 4000 Mac edition in Mountain Lion:

Cs6 For Mac Hack Tumblr Video

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[empressxmachina]

Insurance [G/t Instagram] by Imperial-Radiance

Skyler was taking a risk - a ton of risks, actually - to get this once-in-a-lifetime delivery done. Taking a long distance offer, four provinces away. Creating the requests using a new art medium.  Not flying but driving to the destination with everything. Using the car they'd had since they were sixteen, full of memories of its and their multiple transformations and transitions over time. Through all of the worries, they made it to the Historically Human District of Mela inside the bombastic Tira City of West Esha with everything intact and, apparently, to perfection. But, as soon as their promised cash payment got in their hands, everything went wrong. Thirty minutes later, Skyler could only shakily observe through clouded camera, coffee-stained and cracked from a giant, giant guy's apparently accidental earthquake that first took out their precious car, as a local hunk of an officer assessed the vehicle and a federal one - an Investigative Justice Commissioner, no less - was making sure it all wasn't due to a hate crime. Click here for pics like this. Refs and stuff: ~Adobe Photoshop CC 2017 ~the insta templates by Marina Dillaco ~giant officer/the IJC ~human officer ~the colossal crusher ~the car ~Mela neighborhood in Tira City ~redskyler's profile pic Don't tell me how bad at lighting I am. I KNOW ASDFGHJKLKJHGFD Have an excerpt if you dare.

[wanderlust225]

La Ciudad religiosa

Our Airbnb host, Gabriel, noted in a lovely note he left me that the super cool photographs in his apartment were his own work. He was really responsive and gave us a number of good restaurant recommendations, so when he offered a tour of the city and explained his excellent knowledge of the art and history, we took him up on it. After a delicious breakfast at Jerry's, a local cafe where Jerry serves up delicious Ecuadorian food and chats you up in the most friendly manner, Gabriel picked us up in a little blue Toyota hatchback. We drove around the La Mariscal neighborhood and he pointed our Plaza Foch, the big nightlife area. He explained that a lot of the architecture in the nicer parts of the city was early 1900s European, as many Jews fled here ecaping persecution and wanted to build a more familiar city. Mariscal Foch (Marshall Foch) happened to be a French prime minister in the early 1900s, and thus, the area was born. On our way to the first stop we also passed by El Ejido park which had tons of old trees, including a 300 year old cypress! Since I had expressed interest in his art work we first went to el Centro de Arte Contemporaneo de Quito, where they had an exhibition he was included in. The really cool part about his pieces is that he takes double or triple exposure pictures and layers them on top of each other and although he has traveled quite extensively, all the art we saw was from Ecuador. We passed by the enormous gothic church (Basilica del Voto Nacional) I had been blown away by yesterday and he explained that, like many of the curches in Quito, they incorporate both European and indigenous ("indio") elements like gargoyles of wild animals from Ecuador, including alligators, iguanas, armadillos, pelicans, sharks and, of course, tortugas from the Galapagos! On our journey to find parking in the cramped Old Quito area he told us a little about the current politics. It seems the last president, Correa, was extremely corrupt and sold a lot of the country's land and resources to the Chinese (like mining in the Amazon). The Ecuadorian people are very ecologically minded (think, the Galapagos) so the idea that the Chinese are going to come in and ruin their natural resources is tragic. The current president, Moreno, sounded a bit better, but has only been in office for a few months. Interestingly (but maybe not surprisingly), the last mayor of Quito was also corrupt -- but Gabriel admitted that he did a lot of good things for the city, like significantly improve the bus system with larger busses. Our first stop in the Old Town was Catedral Primada de Quito. For me, the most amazing part was that this cathedral has origins back to 1535, when it was a simple adobe house with a clay tile roof and wooden framework. Shortly after, by 1562 it was named the national cathedral and they demolished the old structure and built stone foundations and brick walls but still a clay tile roof. This was on the central square that shared space with the main government building which Stephen noted, and I agree, seemed very accessible. Right down the road we went to the Centro Culutral Metropolitana which had on a sprawling feminist exhibition that showed up in most of the rooms of the 2 block building. It featured artwork by many prominent feminists as well as one by the gorilla girls, who have a famous tagline that 'women shouldn't have to be naked to be featured in the Met.' Good point! Very interestingly, on the rooftop there was a huge block that faced the government building and said, "you will not violate us," apparently in reference to a son of one of the major officials who was convicted of rape. Powerful! Then we arrived at La iglesia de la compania de Jesus and the good old Jesuits had the most extravagently decorated church I have ever seen, literally covered in gold. Every wall and the ceiling was plated in 23 ct gold, except for the area with a statue of Jesus, which was plated in 24 ct gold. Perhaps my favorite part of this church though was that on your way out into the cruel and tempting world, there was an incredible painting that pictured Hell with all of the major sins named and depicted with terrible tortures. Just a reminder to be good when you exit...! The last church we visited (though there were many, many more) was la Iglesia de San Francisco. I know this is a common name but I really do like churches that reminde me of SF. :) To be honest, after the gilded church it was a little tough to get excited about this more normal looking beautiful giant but I did like it's origin. In the legend of Catuna, it is said that the architect of SF was told he would never see it built to completion - so he sold his soul to the devil so he could live long enough to see it finalized - and he did! I guess he wwasn't a very pious man. The plaza this church was on used to be an Incan market and, currently, it's under construction, building a subway for Quito (maybe - Gabriel seemed unconvinced). After all of these churches we were starving so we headed to La Floresta neighborhood which, per Gabriel is the sort of bohemian area - though interestingly is also where all the banks and expensive resetaurants are. Not sure how I square that circle. Regardless, we went to a fantastic bahn mi restaurant because, honestly, you can only have potatoes and corn so many times! It was delicious. In the afternoon he took us to La Casa de Guayasumin who was one of Ecuador's most prolific artists. In his 70 years of paining he painted many leaders like the prince of Spain, Castro and Chavez (in more of a cubist style). He must have charged a pretty penny because his mansion was incredible, up on a beautiful hill in a neighborhood called Bella Vista and filled with priceless art. He decided before his death that instead of passing it all down to his children he preferred to keep everything as it was in his home and open it up as a museum to the public. Even though he was not religious, there was tons of religious art, some extremely sensual pieces next to the religious art (interesting), a few Picassos, a few Goyas (artists that influenced his style, showing the misery of their time), and a number of other artists who I probably should know. Before his death he also comisssioned La Capilla del Hombre (the Chapel of Man) to be built just next to his house to put even more art on display - sadly, it wasn't finished before his death in 1999. The whole estate was very cool to see - mainly because they kept so many things exactly the same as when he was alive - especially his studio in which we watched a movie on him painting a famous spanish flamenco guitar player with, "a face so long and proud and tall that it looked like a never-ending tower." On our way out, we saw a place where they found ancient pots when they were excavating the land to build - guess where the anthropoligist that came to survey the land was from? None other than FAU! After Guayasumin, we headed back to our flat and then to dinner at Zazu, a very stylish restaurant with a yummy tasting menu. For me, the highlights were the crispy grilled octopus and the ginea pig -- in my defense, I didn't really think about the little furry animal until it was being served to me. Oops! The restaurant felt very fancy with waiters watching our every move for a chance to help -- the price point was that of a casual night out in SF, clocking in at $65 per person, including a bottle of nice wine.

[spatialapprentice]

Hey poopy, I'm Andy Patton of the East Chicago harbor in Indiana, before reading about my indiana jones lifestyle, have a go at tetris which is about to load, make a high score, and use my page just like your personal black and white gameboy, and relax with me like i'm your lazyboy barcalounger!! Get Adobe Flash player Source: Crazy Games ........... I got a pell grant for film school because i'm poor and might choose Chicago University this fall or winter. i'm single baby!!! But not in the sense where i'm fucking other people n shit, its been 6yrs not being with a woman, I've had 8 dates since jail and got to kiss and hug a girl but that was years ago, I miss human touch, i'm scarred from heartbreak but also i don't succumb to lonesomeness and have someone beside me for the time being as a renter to my heart, i seek love and not fingerbangs, i'm a novelist of dozens of books (details in my publshed folder on my facebook .com/boathopper page, add me)..... I have 1,000+ short films, 3 films, one of them i killed 80 actors in, its called 'the tenderizer' and it had a zero budget which raked in a few grand of clothing/vhs tape sales.....i have a fantasy novel that can be read in its entirety for free at http://shakeyquakeyridenovel.blogspot.com/ and it could be bigger than harry potter but nobody reads anymore.... and i have another book you can read for free at http://platdnovel.blogspot.com/ ........... i had a script in hollywood bounced around called boathopper which is science fiction about a monster slamming into our oceans, but the serial killer described in it is identical and predates the 'dexter' book and show, and yes its copywritten just like the rest of my sampled work, stephen king even samples me, and i've overtaken him in quantity as well in my opinion as quality, i'm to the point and don't drag on bullshit fluff for too long, to see more about the dexter narrative and incredible journey your detections could take just youtube 'andyp's arduous travels of an unrenound serial killer'. my body is caked and dented in scars, lacerations and holes because i'm a good person, a strong person, doing good things in a horrible place, this earth, but i'm retired and yet i haven't even begun, i'm the type of person that's been all over the world killing warlords and thousands of the cruelest people known to exist, so the mysteriousness is lain in this, am i a serial killer? or just a shadow operative navy seal?........ i've had troll blogs devote themselves to me before, but here's one that's the most recent, i love my haters suhn https://kiwifar.ms/threads/andy-patton-aka-clivedavinci-loveshy-filmmaker-who-is-apparently-the-true-creator-of-dexter.11274/ ........i really am a mass murderer, my reins controlled by the police, and knowledge of me by other precincts one by one, year by year, being like an internal affairs of hitmen for them, to the most redtape entanglements that bother each depeartment, all secret, commissioned by a government program later, and then after my r.o.t.c i took out of highschol, where i aimed high towards the air force the seals nabbed me out of the air force, my intellect and my physical attributes is extremely rare, i could’ve easily gotten a wrestling scholarship to purdue after i had a walk on match with a dude from iowa and slammed his huge cornfed ass to the mat so hard he got hurt, i realized i can’t be invovled in regular heights of the elite, i couldn’t go backwards from what i had became, since i was a boy i’ve been in china in training programs, i honestly led a life just like d.a.r.y.l the movie, exept i wasn’t a robot, even figuratively in the sense of a sociopathic mindless servant or psycho, i was bombarded by compassionate teachings, my mother a police officer the leadrope to all of this, allowing this, she’s caught serial killers and crimelords, and one time it backfired, horrible men came and abducted me, and tortured me, they bordered on white supremecy and satanists, my mom didn’t find me that long month, the police didn’t find me, this was even in a newspaper, but all knowledge of this ever happening has been redacted and destroyed, nobody could find me, i was 6yrs old, three powerful men sexualy abused me, physically burned me, broke my bones, my rectum had been split open, i was beaten purple with my eyes swollen every couple days when i started to heal, where they would bust me up again, nobody knew where i was, on one of the most high profile cases my mom ever took, she did come to rescue me with the murderers in the house still there, in their total ignorance of evil and what they can get away with, with a young innocent boy, they left their knife that they cut me with on the mattress 3 seconds too long, and i turned into chucky, i snapped, i had absolutely no fear, i didn’t wanna run out of a door, blood pooled all over the floor, it was always my blood, seeing your reflection in your own pool of blood as you cry for help night after night as you lay to try to get comfy to sleep which you can’t becuase you’re bruised all over, does something to someone, something snaps, like how a virgin’s skin does when a scumbag pops their cherry, i became chucky, i had developed tactical defense, and didn’t keep stabbing one of them, i sliced one of them down crying, then hid and waited for the next and sliced him, and i waited many hours in the house, not leaving, not picking up the phone yet, waiting for the other to arrive, in the dark i came at him, where he had no time to react, i climbed and took the bulbs out, and easily made my way to get him too before he saw the scene int he bedroom, i sliced away his achilles as i jutted out behind a couch, those long hours before he came and met his demise, i’d played, like a child with toys, but i played with my knife, a memento i still have, a murder weapon of the most grotesque, i stabbed at every part of their skin, i even kept one of them alive, and took out each of his eyes andn let him squirm around, something inside me took over, and it was GOOD as much as it had been horrible, it must’ve been something put there by god and vengence, and i finally called my mom and we talked on the phone, booking had listened in, her friends, i explained but they were confused, i told them they were still in the house with me and they can come over,i couldn’t talk properly, i hadn’t really known what i’d done, it was like i was possessed, i blubbered crying on the phone just hearing her voice, she was the first one to the scene, there were other cops that came later, which contradicted a way out for me that she would have to face, her son, which the world woudln’t wanna face, and instituionalize me for, those cops got fired for something she had to fenagle, it was her son, or them, you’re forgetting that i was a murderer, although 6, doesn’t matter, all the murderers were stilll in the house, but they were all dead, and cut to pieces, and it took my mom probaby 10 full minutes to unclench my hand around my knife, and dthat was only because i allowed it, because we came to a truce where she’d let me keep it, it was a part of me now, it saved me, it helped me, it was my friend, yes i wrote a novel predating dexter called boathopper where its science fiction, but the myth of a dexter like child in blood had been passed around precincts long before that, it was covered up but there’s always trace gossip, it became a legend, i’ve worked in moscow with putin, i’ve been taught by spies, everytime i’m pulled over the cops freak out becuaase my rapsheet is so long, and that’s just in america, but i’m always a victim or witness, i’m always acting and protecting people, never a bad person, just misunderstood, all the cops protect me, all the agents, the stint i did in calif was my exes doing, i remember traveling ALOT, missing alot of school, but always coming back, pretending to be in school, hanging out with my friends, iwas bombarded by animals, i loved animals, i wasn’t a maniac to ever hurt one no matter my blood rage, but i was taken to villages a round the world to share love with good people and experiences, and to always train, and to even kill, i needed to kill, a lifetime of killing, decades of it, thousands of horriblly evil people around the world, especially china, india and the middleeast before soldiers ever got there, was my purpose in life, i could chameleon into any cell, or group, i was invisible and innocent, and with training i was a weapon, all my education when to combat and stealth and learning many languages, and i served my agency proud, and when i tried to resume a regular life i couldn’t, i was hurting people in sports, not really trying to, my training i held back on, and just used physical standards, but i had too much rage, its like i wanted to see people bleed, i’d been around the world helping animals, trained as an assassin, trained by seals, educated by scholars, there are good sects in this world when you’re facing incredible circumstnces, as well as bad sects like terrorists or satanists, and they caught wind and found my mom as she had sought something like them too, onlhy a few people know about this, after the rotc, i went to the air force for a few months, then leaped to the seals and i’ve been putting away badguys, and hopping back to the states for my character andn presence ever since, i’m a honed tactician, i’m beyond liam neeson, i’m a good person, i have compassion for everyone, but i have a screw loose, and i need love, and i’ll never find it, i’m calmed now and ptsd of wartime endevours you just get used to, compared to childhood traumas, i’m retired, vocalization and protest is what changes laws and leading by example helps animals in the world, i just need someone to spend my life with now, i had a good girl once, who was teetering on the side of cdraziness, enough crazy and cool to put up with me, but she was taken by this horrible world, i needed saved and she abandoned me, her best friend, i’m looking for someone new to come into my life and not be so fussy and close minded,k i’m still just a child needing affection, someone save me ......i'm the funniest person probably in the world in person, but i've gotten shy and reclusive the last decade, from my loved ones dissected and murdered in hospitals, to love stricken from me like a lightening bolt, i used to love dancing in clubs/weddings with any hot girl, but i could never dance again having lived the shit i've went through with my ex slowing metamorphasizing into a prostitute, and it began from the attention she got from me taking her out to clubs and being mixed in an elite environment and dancing with her making her feel a little bit too great to the point she needed to have that drug 24/7, so she slowly went out and forged it, dancing is the work of the devil i know see, its like that george michael song 'i'm never gonna dance again' love just gets taken from you and you become a bitter person because of it, i'm still funny, but it has to be the right setting, i have to be feeling good or buzzed or have a fleeting bliss of happiness, i can get really fucking dark sometimes to the point its scary, you mix i've been an eliete in sports amongst other things in my life, alongside my talented writing that's grosser and more depicting and original than anything clive or king could right, and you'll have a formula of fear, i mean one story i killed god himself, its on my fb in my notes titled 'the after', i've cursed god for the last couple decades of my life, not because i'm an atheiest or don't believe in a god entirely, but because if there was one, i figured he was absolute evil, like a parent abandoning children in a dingy motel or something, forced to fend for themselves because they don't know better, i have many thoughts on god but i'm a philosopher too, so that's a topic that can go on forever, for the most part, i vent, i'm fuming mad, but i'm the most passive human being you'll ever known, and the people beating upon me in life can attest to it, you see those vines or gifs with cats beating the shit out of large enormous strong dogs? well that's me, no matter what i'll never bite, i just seem to bark alot because i'm lonely, and still so heartbroken, i've never filled in that gap of a 'friend' or a 'fuckpal' or a partner in my life since my breakup, i'm not doing it right, like everyone else copes, i don't deal with death the same either, i'm careless to it and am enlightened to not get attached anymore, to anything, seeing dozens of my family put in the ground, it just takes a toll of carelessness, its something i don't want to deal with anymore, my cat was the height of all the bad in my life, a year ago my sister allowed this prostitute that was living next to me in my room to throw a fuckparty in the entire house, and my cat kidiot got outside, and this was when i was tossed out of that drughouse for not reason on top of it by the very multiple cops that were banging my sister, someone i cared about, and my cat kidiot who i've had a decade, got trapped and starved to death in a hot shed, just a glimpse at the kind of shit i have to go through ad cry over in my life, and its not because i'm a bad person, and its not from strangers, its from people closest to me, its always like that for me and i'm uncertain why........15 of my short films are pretty good, but maybe i'm just being modest and don't determine my worth properly,you'd have to type 'andyp's short films' to see some on multiple accounts, i'm always deleted, a rebel on youtube, i have a hellraiser script at hellraisernightshines.yolasite.com, another tumblr at clivedavinciromance ............ i was entering a finished 3rd horror feature into sundance but its incomplete, i made it by myself in a empty building when i was homeless, its under 'sundancers andyp's' on youtube, the 2nd part is the best, my 1st two features were generic slashers and don't count as serious, i'm finishing up another book, a fantasy novel i think will be bigger than harry potter...i WILL become larger than stephen king, and you wonder why i choose such a high totum to climb other than a smaller horror writer? well its because i've finished libraries of writing, novels and shorts, all the decades i've been alone and sad in a dark room as an introvert, what is dormant, and what is almost accomplished is more thatn king, almost, i need a few green miles and stand by me's first, and then i need a few other stories and books and i will have achieved more elaborate words than star wars or marvel combined, i just have to get them seen is all, tha'ts the hard/easy part......i hang out with my gay friends in portage, they're all i have in my life, my mexican bestie is leaving ot vegas, i don't have any other real friends, and no family left, i'm just all alone in the world, i drive a stupid car i spraypainted purple, i act like a retard because i want to filter through phony uptight people, i want a real cool, good girl, who doesn't fuck everyone like everyone in society does, i want a lover and rebel and fighter, not someone who's ordinary like my ex who breaks hearts and breaks herself off pieces of dick at any whim, i haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure. I'm a horror writer, here is a link to my newest collection of stories http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/reflections-in-the-dark/paperback/product-20340079.html I'm an animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I differ in opinion about bisexuals, not for them personally, but from my own experiences of people being able to fuck how many people they want without consquence to character, the last time i checked if someone was unsure if they liked women or men more they weren't tasting all those crotches, they went about their business and didn't need a stamp that i feel is an equivalent to yelling 'hey i'm in bars fucking this guy, fucking that guy and i don't give a fuck', well that's fine, live how you want, but in your abundances of pussy/dick and indecision, i'm all alone, and i'd be humbled to just hold and love ONE PERSON, and that's were the idea of the 'title' not the 'person' bisexual comes into conflict with me, its saying 'i'm samantha from sex and the city and slopping up weiners and hot snatches left and right, so fuck you', i don't hate anyone, i'm understanding of nearly anything, i try my hardest to dissuade violence or hate in any way i can, i just think the terminology used to describe someone as a bisexual is just for show, if they don't know if they love and man or woman, who's to say they even love men or women? but their travels and undertakings of trying to find that out are being stamped and revealed for all the world to know about, and i don't dislike it, i just think its as tacky as me posting my boner videos in my underwear is all, its sleazy to your eyes, but you don't understand me right, like i woudn't understand you? in such perversion there is actual sweetness in me and reasons i do this crazy shit, bisexuals and their silly title which is basically just saying you're a hippi is just offputing to some, like me who had a girl i loved who became bisexual, yet all she's doing is fucking people for money, and i bet alot of people have sex and not for love and in doing that i'd never wanna be stamped with something, in a broad sense sure, but me, i'm an individual and i'm kind and good and accepting of all of you and love all of you so what the fuck matters our personal bickerings ya know?....... stupid groups of people like most feminists, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, bother me, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats not really doing anything, having a campus activity n shit, not empassioned deeper, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, forcing their beliefs or ways of life on you even if they are the most insane selfish things imagineable, i think i used to be bitter about hipsters too, just anyone who is phony as fuck, hell it could even be described as a rare unicorn of a girl i liked, doesn't matter, superficiality annoys me more than anything......... like i actually argue with people who do gangbangs and have swinger parties, could they honestly justify that disgusting shit to me, do it on your own time and leave me out of your sexcapades, seeing those depictions in 'bruno' or something, or me personally jacking off to threesomes n shit in porn is one thing but if you're gonna come on my page and bitch and moan i think that's 'sleazy' since it doesn't invovle TWO people, but instead involves multiple people, then you're just dumb,.............. i'm the most fucked up person alive, stranger by far of any human alive, i have an imaginative mind but i also have social skills, i know what its like being lonesome its why i hate when people just fuck tons of others, they spit at something i wish i had, they are gluttonous. My idols are Clive Barker, i made my art collection entirely out of scratch but i had him in mind to impress him, and i also made a book of short stories like his books of blood, i'm very similar to him, a huge fan, but it wasn't on purpose, its weird, its liked he fucked my mom in the 70's before he went gay or something, Stephen King, Kenny Hotz, Wayne Pacelle of the hspca, and others, even steve o and tom green. i'm the poorest person i know, yet i give my singles to bums, i'm selfless, i'm lazy, but when i have ambition like someone helping me, i'll create milestones. i make all my videos mostly in this loft at my moms house, i'm stuck here until my federal probation is up, not like i'll go anywhere else unless i get mental disability, i have no drive in life for average shit, i'm a creator, not an assembly line worker, i don't need the shit that money can buy, i'd never go to disneyland again even if someone bought me a package cause i think its extravagent and there are kids that will never see that place, i'd let them go in my place. i dislike snooty superficial people who act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and act like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolest fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. My trolling book is blowing up, its sold 43 copies now, i've made it cheaper, black & white, so i'm making money now, DON'T USE CREATESPACE they are not creative friendly. you can find my large magazine type trolling book here.. http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/trolling-101/paperback/product-20324152.html I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. next month i will have seen 10 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. i do like a girl alot, but i realize how fucked up i am, sometimes i don't even want to get out of bed, i'd need her to understand what its like to be lonesome and depressed, i really miss holding someone. we're all doomed to die, it sucks, i'm just trying to make my life as comfortable as possible with the little means i have, hopefully they'll put me on mental disability and i can continue my writing without having to work shit jobs to make ends meet, or save for a date with a girl and it never happens anyways go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook link is below, its facebook.com/boathopper i have a new myspace account but rarely use it

[vintage-story-time]

MANHATTAN MADNESS by Chili Peeler

Chapter 15

Jim paced around the apartment, wound up with excitement and nervousness, for almost a half hour after getting back to the apartment. Finally, he put on some trunks and went to lie down on a sunchair on the patio. The sun was well past its zenith but felt good. He went through the scene in his mind over and over, how he was going to lay everything on the line and see what happened. He wanted to sound confident and in control when he revealed what he knew. And in his mind, he'd played back his sister's possible reactions. Maybe she'd apologize and fight off his advances for the rest of the trip...maybe she'd tell him she was glad he knew, that she and Julie were going to tell him anyway, that she wanted to fuck him again .... whatever her reaction, Jim knew he had nothing to lose. She'd tricked him into sex so their brother and sister relationship had been irrevocably changed at that point.

It was almost 4:30 before his sister got back to the apartment. He heard her call out when she entered but he stayed where he was. She'd be able to see him through the open glass door. 'All right, time to act like a man.... show her you're ready for what she obviously wants,' he thought as he saw her come through the patio doors. "Hey! Whatcha been up to today?" Elizabeth said as she came out into the sun. She seemed relaxed enough, smiling and moving nonchalantly. 'Man, is she cool! Spent the day sucking and fucking her brother in a red sex suit and now she looks like she's back from church,' he thought. "Oh, I had a really good day," he answered as he flexed his arms and chest muscles, showing off his body to his sister. She hadn't seen it with her hood on but now he saw her eyes taking it all in. "Yeah? What did ya do? Just lay around here in the sun!" she teased as she raised her foot and poked his side. "No...I had myself a real good workout today.....worked up a good sweat," Jim said, not lying as he ogled her legs....the legs that had wrapped around him earlier. "I wouldn't mind working out like that every day while I'm here." His answer had been loaded with double entendre and he watched her face for some flicker of excitement or fear that maybe he knew. But she appeared to just take it at face value. "What did you do go for a run or something? I hope you didn't go to Central Park without me?" she said as she tilted her face to the sun. "Uh, no...I just did some exercising..um..indoors." Jim said. "How did your doctor's visit go?" "Oh, it was fine...OK," Elizabeth said as she drew her hair back over one ear in what Jim thought was a nervous gesture. Had he not known it had been her, he never would have even noticed the gesture. "Well, don't stay out her too long...you'll burn." Giving him a smile, she went back into the apartment, leaving Jim to ponder his next move. 'OK.....she's not going to confess apparently..unless she's waiting for Julie and the two of them will do it together......I'll see how things go when Julie gets back....Damn! I wish she'd make this easier for me. Well, I'm not going to go back home without getting her to open up.' Jim vowed as he closed his eyes. After another fifteen minutes, Jim got up and went inside to take a much needed shower. His sister was sitting on the couch, going through some mail and she told him that Julie should be back soon and they were going to go out to dinner. He went in his room, stripped down and got in the shower. Finished, he dried off, blow dried his hair and put on some jeans and a polo shirt. He went back out into the living room to find Julie had arrived back and was sitting on the couch with his sister, both facing each other. Their conversation tailed off as he came out of his bedroom and he wondered if he was the topic of conversation. "Why, hello Jim," Julie said dramatically, "Lizzie and I were just discussing how we've got to do a better job entertaining you." Julie, her face turned away from his sister, gave him a wink. 'Don't wink at me, you man in sheep's clothing,' he thought as Julie continued. "You've been here almost 48 hours and we haven't even taken you to one of our New York's famous restaurants. How does some Mexican food sound?" "Uh...great," he said, "Is what I'm wearing OK?" "That's fine," Elizabeth said, getting up and heading for her bedroom, "I'm gonna put on a better blouse." That left Julie and he alone in the living room. She patted the couch next to her, obviously wanting him to sit beside her but he moved past and sat down in the chair. She scooted down nearer him. "Why did you take off like that?" she asked, pitching her voice lower than normal conversation. "I might have shared a cab with you." "I wanted to be alone...I had some thinking to do." "Oh, OK, no big deal...you really made my client quite happy." Julie's hand moved onto his knee and Jim shot up out of the chair. To

say he was skitterish would have been an understatement. Knowing Julie was as much of a man as he was had him upset. "I...better get my shoes," he mumbled and headed for his bedroom, leaving the puzzled Julie alone. 'That was good, Jim,' he berated himself as he got his shoes, ' Way to be calm and collected.' He grabbed some socks and headed out again into the livingroom. His sister was back, pulling on some low heeled shoes and wearing a cream colored silk blouse with her khaki shorts. "I hope you're hungry. We were thinking about going early, if that's OK?" his sister said. "Sure, let's go. I'm starving." Jim said, noting the strange look on Julie's face. She was obviously wondering why he was acting so distant. They cabbed to the restaurant, a place called Domingo's, which was in the lower level of an office building somewhere across the East River. The interior was done in an adobe like wall covering with a mixture of Latin art work and neon lights on the walls. They were seated at a booth in the back and Elizabeth scooted in first so she was between him and Julie. "Can I get you any drinks?" the waitress asked as she lay their menus in front of them. "Yeahhh!" Elizabeth said. "Let us have three Cadillac margaritas with salt on the rims. Thanks......ever had a Cadillac before?" she asked him. "No, not a Cadillac..I've had margaritas but I didn't think they were all that great," Jim said as he dug into the chips and salsa the waitress had left. "Oh, you probably had some horrible mix...I'm not sure they can make a decent margarita in Nebraska," she kidded. The drinks came and Jim had to admit they were a lot better than the ones he'd had previously; pouring the shot of Gran Marnier in the drink really gave it a nice zip. The waitress came back and asked if they wanted another round and they ordered another round and that came soon along with their meals. And then during the meal, Jim ordered another margarita while the girls sipped their second drinks. At the end of the meal, Jim was feeling mighty good. Elizabeth reached in her purse and pulled out a cigarette and lighter. She lit up and Jim was surprised. "I didn't know you smoked?" he said. "Well, a girl's got to have her secrets," Elizabeth said with a laugh and Jim saw Julie and her exchange a glance. He knew what his sister's eyes were saying: 'Poor Jim, he doesn't know about you and me, Julie ....he doesn't know about the fun we had with him today...how we fooled him....' Jim decided to air out some of his sister's secrets. "Sis, I know a lot of your secrets." 'Oh, shit.' Julie stiffened when Jim uttered that sentence. She'd gotten a bad feeling when she'd come out to find Jim gone...it was so unlike him. Up to that point, she'd had him jumping through hoops. Now he was sitting there with that 'I know something I shouldn't' grin on his face and three Cadillacs to boost him on. She just hoped he was talking about her and Elizabeth being lovers; she could do some damage control on that. But if he'd found out who Kitten was...... Jim watched his sister's smile waver, then she took the bait he'd laid. "Yeah, right! What secrets of mine do you know?" Elizabeth said playfully. "Well, let's see...there's you and Julie being lovers....you stripping in that club of yours....and that great time you cooked up this afternoon. I tell you, when I found out it was you..." Jim stopped when his sister put her hands to her face and looked at Julie. He had expected her to be surprised but her eyes began to tear up. "Liz, he knew right away we were lovers," Julie said tenderly as she scooted closer to his sister. "I told you it was a risk inviting him." "Beth, I'm sorry, I thought since we, you know.." Jim tried to apologize. "All right..." Elizabeth said through a sniffle. "How did you find out about where I work?" Jim did not know how to answer that one. He wasn't sure he should say Julie had taken him; apparently

things weren't as he thought. "I took him there," Julie confessed. "WHAT!" How could you?" Elizabeth said as she pushed away Julie's arm. "Julie, you had no right to do that!" "I'm sorry," Julie said, "He knew about us and I could tell he would enjoy it.....I mean, he's not hung-up..." "You thought he would enjoy watching me...." Elizabeth's eyes were flashing with anger now. "And did you tell him I would be there or did you just surprise him?! No, don't answer that..I know the answer." "Lizzie, don't be like this." Julie said. "You be quiet!" Elizabeth said to Julie, then turned to her brother. "And you mentioned this afternoon...what do you know about that?" Jim now realized that his sister did not know he had been the one that had enjoyed her charms. He'd misread the whole thing; it had been Julie working alone. He didn't answer her, just looked at Julie. He wasn't going to spill the beans to his sister, let Julie make up something if she could. "Come on, Jim. Look, I'm not mad at you....." she placed her hand over his, "How did you find out about this afternoon?....What? Did Julie let you watch?!...." "Beth, I didn't know it was you..." was all Jim could say. He saw understanding appear on his sister's face and she whipped her head at Julie. Julie just sat there, using her fork in the remnants of her meal and looking at Elizabeth in resignation. "It was him, wasn't it?......God, Julie!" Elizabeth was sieving now; she grabbed her purse and scooted against him, wanting to get up and out of the booth. He quickly stood and she slid out to stand by him, all the time watching Julie, who just sat there. "Beth, I'm sorry, I thought you knew it was me...I never would have brought it up..." Jim said. "We'll talk about it later....don't worry, it's not your fault...I got to be alone for awhile...I'll see you back at the apartment" She kissed him on the cheek and then turned to Julie. "You, I don't want to see!.....You find somewhere else to stay!" Then she walked away, not looking back. "Well, Julie. Would you like to explain what the hell has been going on?" Jim said as he sat back down. His anger was back up; instead of looking forward to continuing his sexual activities with what he thought was a wild and willing sister, Julie now had probably just ruined his whole relationship with her. "I think you see what happened...after getting to know you, I decided that you would like to screw your sister......was I wrong?" Julie was back to her calm self again. "How could you think that?" he said weakly. "Well, most brothers would probably leave a strip club if they saw their sister up on the stage...you certainly didn't leave." Julie put a credit card on the bill and pushed it to the edge of the table. "I could tell you liked her for more than a sister." "All right, let's assume that I did," Jim said, leaning over to lower his voice. "Why didn't you tell me it was her and give me the option? Who gave you the right to make me and my sister.....commit a crime? Because that's what it is. A crime." "If I'd given you the option, you'd have chickened out. As much as you wanted it. My way was perfect.....you could both get it and not have any hang-ups. I must admit that I started the whole thing with the intention of getting all three of us in bed before you left.....does that shock you?" Jim had to admit that before he'd seen Julie and his sister through the mirrors, he would have loved having his sister and her buxom lover in a three-way. But he knew now that Julie was not a woman. "No, what shocks me is that you are not a woman....a female." He saw Julie's face lose her composure and he liked seeing her be hurt for a change. "I got to admit, you really had me fooled. Were you laughing to yourself when I was fucking your ass?" He wished he could yell it at her but he wasn't sure that their voices weren't carrying as it was to the adjacent boothes. The waitress came and picked up the bill and went away.

"Look, Jim....I should have told you. I'll admit that I take liberties that I shouldn't....I think of myself as a woman and always have, since I was in my early teens...I was just in the wrong kind of body. When I could get away from home, I started to make myself into the woman I wanted to be. You don't know how much work I've had done to get to this..." she swept her hands down her body. "I just never the guts to go all the way with my sex change. I don't have to tell you what it's like to have a woman like a man.....I'm attracted to men and women. I can get my share of guys that want a dick and a woman in the same package. And women, like Liz. But when I can have a man like you, a real heterosexual, and he doesn't know....yeah, it's more exciting. But believe me, I wasn't laughing to myself.....I was just wishing that I wasn't such a...freak." Jim felt sad for her despite all she'd done. He couldn't really be angry with her for setting him and his sister up like she had; he secretly wished he could do it again with Elizabeth. "Anyway, you shouldn't beat yourself up over it....I had myself covered up and I lied to you. All you saw and felt was a woman and I just wish you could see me as a woman. If you could do that...I might still be able to bring your sister around to our way of thinking." "Look, Julie....I can't lie to you. I thought Elizabeth knew it was me and you two had working together...and I brought it up because I was hoping maybe if it was out in the open and she knew I was OK with it, then me and her might be able to do it again." Julie smiled at that. "But, you..I mean, I don't think I could ever..." "Jim, what is a woman?....soft flesh, tits, a loving mouth, a hole to stick your dick in? I've got all that....so why not enjoy it? You're a long way from home, no one's ever gonna find out and it doesn't mean you're a homo....it just means you like to have a good time. " 'She's got a point...it'll never get around back in Nebraska....and I've already done it with her once...' Jim thought. It was hard not to consider doing it with her again when she looked like the girl from the movie Weird Science only with huge tits. "I'll make you a deal," he said, "I'd like to do it with Beth again...if that happens, I wouldn't mind if you were to join in. But, I doubt very much that that is going to happen....you saw how mad Beth was." The waitress brought back the bill and Julie signed it and handed it back to her before she could leave. Julie stood up and said, "I've seen Liz more upset than that.....I may know her better than she thinks."

[dsrajawat]

If you’re looking for a laptop under 50K, should you go for a Chromebook? Answering this question, I began my review of the HP Chromebook x360.

Currently, a bigger slice of the PC market is shared between Windows and Mac. In contrast, Chromebooks seem like an underdog with relatively lesser reach in India. There’s even a good chance that some of you might not know much about them. These ultrabooks come powered by Chrome OS, an operating system from Google, and represent a fresh take on legacy laptops as we know them.

The x360 has been my daily driver for a while now. I’ve used it keeping aside the complexity bias towards the Windows and Macs of the world. So, if you’re in a pickle, reading this review won’t hurt. You will get to know how it holds up against the alternatives. After all, they vaunt a unique value proposition, especially for the Gen Z.

Let’s see whether it’s true.

HP Chromebook x360 – 14-da0003tu Specs and Price

Model HP Chromebook x360 – 14-da0003tu Display 35.56 cm (14) diagonal FHD IPS BrightView WLED-backlit (1920 x 1080) Processor Intel Core i3-8130U (2.2 GHz base frequency(2b), up to 4 GHz with Intel Turbo Boost Technology(2g), 4 MB cache, 2 cores) Graphics Integrated Intel UHD Graphics 620 Storage 64 GB eMMC with 256GB expandable storage, 100 GB Cloud storage, Unlimited Google photos/videos storage Memory 8 GB DDR4-2133 SDRAM (onboard) Ports

2 USB 3.1 Gen 1 Type-C

1 USB 3.1 Gen 1

1 headphone/microphone combo

1 microSD media card reader

Kensington Nano Security Slot

Wi-Fi and Bluetooth

802.11a/b/g/n/ac (2×2) Wi-Fi

Bluetooth 4.2 combo

Software Chrome OS Battery 3-cell, 60 Wh Li-ion polymer; 45 W AC power adapter Dimensions 32.54 x 22.68 x 1.6 cm Audio

ASUS SonicMaster stereo audio system, certified by Harman Kardon

Array microphone with Cortana and Alexa voice-recognition support

Keyboard and Trackpad

Backlit Chiclet single-color keypad

Precision (PTP) Technology Supports up to Four-finger Smart Gestures

Weight 1.68 Kg Biometric unlock HP Wide Vision HD Camera with integrated dual array digital microphone Colors

White Ceramic

India Price Rs. 44,990

HP Chromebook x360 Review: Design and Build

Let me put it out there that this one’s a charmer. The Chromebook X360 comes with a 360-degree rotating hinge, which means you can use it as Flip in Laptop, Stand, Tent, or Tablet mode. This opens up multiple use cases. Go figure! Whilst using in the flip-in form, the screen wobbles a bit. But it is not a biggie and the hinge is pretty solid with no creak.

Even if you keep the convertibility factor aside, the laptop still slays on the design front. The hood is made of aluminum anodized body cloaking a ceramic white finish, which looks slick. There is a chrome logo, the staple Chromebook identifier on the left side. The company claims the matte surface is scratch-resistant, although we never went out of our way to test it.

The Chromebook is slim at 16.05mm and trim at 1.6kgs. So, it was lite to carry around in hand, in my daypack or seating it on my lap. Like lap-ability, the one-handed opening test also was easy peasy. Once you open the lid, you’ll see a 720p webcam nesting right above the display. But there is no face unlock or any other biometric unlocking option, which is a real kicker.

ALSO READ: Asus ZenBook 14 (UX434FL) review: That Dual Display though!

HP Chromebook x360 Review: Display, Keyboard and Audio

This one has an IPS WLED-backlit (1920 x 1080) display that stretches 14-inches diagonally. It is affable in terms of colors, brightness, viewing angles, yada yada yada. The only glaring issue I have with this panel is that its glossy and reflective, which spoils the experience while using under harsh lighting.

The touchscreen is also responsive and plays well with the Chrome OS interface, especially in flip-in and tablet mode. Don’t wanna touch? Then use it as any other regular clamshell model. The chicklet keys offer a comfortable typing journey across the board. As for the trackpad, it’s one of the spacious ones I’ve come across so far with a precise response to my fingers.

Now since its a Chromebook, it carries few bells and whistles of its own, which you must know. You might be caught off guard by the layout and kind of keys on the pad. There are dedicated keys for various Chrome OS functions. Well, if you find it tough to adapt, then simply remap the buttons from the settings. Likewise, there is a slew of shortcuts and gestures, which you can learn to enhance your experience.

The X360 sports dual speakers tuned by B&O (Bang & Olufsen), one at the base of the laptop and the other above the keypad. The combined output is decently loud and clear. You even get a volume rocker flanked on the chassis, just as on your mobile handset.

HP Chromebook x360 Review: Performance and Experience

The internals includes an 8th gen Intel Core i3 CPU with integrated Intel UHD Graphics 620. On the memory front, you get 8 GB DDR4 SDRAM and 64GB eMMC storage. Although you won’t notice an apparent difference in speed, the volume transferred is crippled by a single lane system unlike SSD, which is a multi-lane highway.

All of these are soldered directly onto the device’s motherboard and are sealed off from the user’s access. Anyway, if you’re short on storage, you could expand it further up to 256GB using a microSD card or avail the 100GB of google cloud storage.

The software is, however, the key differentiating factor here. Now, there are several misconceptions surrounding the Chrome OS, which needs to be debunked.

If you conceive it as just a browser, you couldn’t be further from the truth. Though the platform is built on and around Chrome,  it’s much more than that.

You can use it w/o the internet. An umpteen number of apps work offline including Google ones like Gmail, Calendar, Drive, Docs, Sheets. If you’re connected, well then you can enjoy your google data on the go, since its all synced real-time to the cloud. It has a wide library of apps on the Play Store and Linux Virtual Machine.

Off the cuff, you would notice it boots like a flash in a matter of seconds. Once you log in via a password or pin, the home screen appears. There is a taskbar at the bottom, which is called Shelf and is similar to the dock on Mac. You get to pin your favorite apps on to it. Since you’re not allowed to place icons on the screen, the desktop is clutter-free and minimal with just the dock and the wallpaper.

You can invoke Google Assistant with your voice or the dedicated button on the keypad. This button can be used to access the app tray. Speaking of apps, you can use a plethora of them from the Google Play Store. As an Android user, this meant I can use the same apps that I use on my phone.

But can’t say it’s device agnostic. When the apps ape the UI meant for the mobile phones onto a bigger canvas, the overall experience takes a backseat. Plus, the Play Store alternatives of legacy apps like Microsoft Office and Adobe Suite are barebones. 

Another quick tip would be to use CrossOver for running legacy Windows applications or try out the Linux based alternatives. But either of them isn’t a simple solution.

On that note, what about Linux on Chromebook? If you’re unfamiliar, Linux on Chromebook is based on Debian distribution and runs within a Virtual Machine. I tried flashing Gimp. While the installation went smooth, the app, as well as the Linux terminal, crashed. All this may be cuz it’s still in beta state. So it’s not a viable option still. My case in point.

Coming to the main course – the performance!

If you’ve felt the Chrome browser to be a ginormous RAM sucker in other laptops, here inside Chromebook, it feels at home. I’m the kind of guy who’d have a fleet of tabs opened on Chrome at all times. Yet, I felt no hiccup, lag or crashes during my review frame. But, let me be clear, there was no jot of difference in the browsing Speedtests (Chromebook | Windows Pavilion Laptop). A quick tip: you may use extensions such as The Great Suspender or OneTab to better manage the tabs.

Just like the cold boot times, other processes like app-loading and pdf document opening, etc also were fast.

The system updates and backup resembles the Android implementation. They take place smoothly in the background without interrupting your activities. No sweat!

Next up, let me put light upon some security features I loved –

Chromebook sandboxes every activity instance of yours, isolating any threat you’ve downloaded from the web. The boot also verifies the system and will reset everything to its original state, if some malfunction found. Like the Former FBI most wanted hacker, Kevin Mitnick claims, there is a limited attack vector and there’s just nothing to exploit on Chromebooks. So good riddance from viruses and antiviruses.

Lastly, there is Powerwash, which is the reset option that’s fairly quick and effective. Since the data is mostly stored online, you get a fresh copy without losing much data. In fact, the system snapped while I was poking around Chrome Flags and Powerwash came in handy.

Speaking of chrome flags, you can tweak some experimental features and even basics like – Show previews of running apps when hovering over the shelf.

All that said and done, there is one area where Chromebook bites the dust and that is – any graphic intensive process. So, this one gets a big no-no for playing heavy games. In my trials, Asphalt 9 and Call of Duty performance was passable with noticeable frame drops and ghosting issues. However, you can have a good time playing casual titles like Subway Surfers, Temple Run, etc.

Now since the Chromebook caters to low graphic processes, it depends on passive cooling and so you need not worry about any whirring noise over-course.

Nonetheless, here are a few of our benchmark test results –

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CrXPRT Performance benchmark

Speedometer

Geekbench 5

3DMark

Androbench Scores for RnW speed

DRM Info

ALSO READ: Asus VivoBook S14 S431F Review

HP Chromebook x360 Review: Battery and Connectivity

This HP Chromebook claims to run for 11 hours on a 3-cell, 60 Wh Li-ion polymer battery. I must say the Chrome OS is very power-efficient and I’m impressed by X360’s battery endurance. In my Crosh (accessed by the command – Ctrl+Alt+T) test, the laptop discharged 77.86% in 8 hours. The battery discharged within 9 hours 25 minutes according to chrome://power data.

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When it begs for a charger, you can use the bundled 45W AC power adapter via either of the 2 USB-C ports. It took around 15 minutes to refill 25% of the battery. Other ports are 1 USB A, 1 headphone jack, and an SD card expansion slot. If you’re scratching your head about the tiny square slot beside the USB-A port, its for security lock cable to moor the Chromebook to a table. I just wished there was an HDMI socket instead so that I could connect my secondary monitor. 

So should you buy it? Is it worth your money?

HP Chromebook x360 Review: Verdict

Lately, Apple is seen repositioning iPads as a Chromebook alternative and Microsoft is banking on the Surface Go. So, when both these biggies act wary of Chromebook, it got to mean something, right?

Yes, that’s somewhat true. But essentially, HP Chromebook X360 feels like a double-edged sword.

On one hand, HP has engineered a good-looking laptop with ergonomic keypad, touchpad, respectable audio output, and pleasing display. It can transform into multiple formats, to each their own.

It suits well for those who want something to carry on-the-fly and can live without games, Photoshop, Premiere Pro and the likes. It is a capable work machine for internet browsing, media consumption, and anything but graphics-demanding tasks. The GPU acceleration or the lack of one – is its Achilles heel.

Thus, on the other hand, HP Chromebook x360 might not be the renaissance in the world of Chromebooks. It is marred by the same pros & cons that come with Chrome OS.

Summing up, if it fits your bill, go for it. Else, you still have your options. Either way, you better mull over your preferences and needs once. Maybe this will help you –

Reasons to buy

Attractive and Solid Convertible

Good keypad, touchpad, and touchscreen

Fast and Secure OS with Real-time data sync

Long-Lasting battery life backed by a USB-C charger

App uniformity for Android users

Reasons to not buy

Reflective display

Missing HDMI port

Lack of powerful graphics card

Small Storage capacity

Play Store apps can’t match the legacy apps

Photos by Manmeet Singh | Smartprix

HP Chromebook x360 Review (14-da0003tu) If you're looking for a laptop under 50K, should you go for a Chromebook? Answering this question, I began my review of the HP Chromebook x360.

[andrewdburton]

Death by a thousand cuts

I've been on the internet for a long, long time.

Via local Bulletin Board Systems, I started reading USENET newsgroups — mostly Star Trek and comic book and computer game stuff — during college in the late 1980s. I got sucked into the world of MUDs. Soon after graduating, I heard about this new thing called the World Wide Web, so I installed Mosaic on my Macintosh SE.

Before long, I taught myself HTML and built my first website. Eventually, in 1997, I started my first blog — back before blog was even a word!

I was drawn to the web (and the internet) in part because it seemed so egalitarian. Anyone could start a website about anything, and as long as they produced great stuff and shared it, people would read. I also liked the fact that almost everything was free. It didn't cost anything (besides your $19.95 monthly dial-up service) to access any of this information. The early web was a de facto sharing economy.

Best of all? The web was a wide open space, a blank slate, a platform free from dominance by mainstream media. Little people like me could have a voice.

None of this lasted long.

The Monetization of the Web

Soon, banner ads came along. I hated banner ads when they first appeared. “My site will never have banner ads,” I told my friends. (This was my first real lesson that you should never say never. My friends have been giving me grief about this for more than fifteen years!)

In 1998, Google arrived and changed everything. Until that point, web search was a miserable experience. It wasn't very good and it was overly monetized. Google was the opposite. It was amazing and had no monetization at all.

Hahahahahahahaha. How things have changed. Today, Google is all about ads. And using it is more and more a miserable experience. Look at this mess:

How long until Google has transformed itself into AltaVista?

In time, the mainstream media realized that the web wasn't going anywhere. By the early 2000s, they were treating it as an important part of their operations. By the early 2010s, the web had become the most important part of most media companies' platforms. And if it hadn't, those companies would soon be dead.

Meanwhile, two parallel (but related) trends developed.

First, there was the rise of “software as a service” (Saas). In the olden days — 1995, say — when you wanted a computer program, you went down to Circuit City and bought it. You paid for it once and you owned it forever. As “web apps” became a thing, companies shifted from one-time payments to a subscription model. Today, even big companies like Microsoft and Adobe have adopted the practice of continually charging for their products. (And if they don't use a subscription model, they often “sunset” their software, which is essentially the same damn thing.)

Second, forward-thinking sites and companies learned there was money to be made by disrupting existing business models. Netflix is a great example. Founded in 1997, this company has single-handedly destroyed multiple industries, most notably retail video. And, eventually, Netflix began to disrupt the monolithic television industry itself! Initially, this was beneficial to consumers. Now, in 2019, it's become apparent that oops, nope it's not. (See also.)

Twenty-five years ago, when the web was young, it was all about free. Anyone who could afford a computer and a $19.95/month dial-up connection was free to create and publish whatever they wanted — and free to consume what other people had created. It was like some sort of digital utopia.

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Today, the web is most decidedly not free. And it's getting less free with every passing month. Let's be honest: More and more, life online is fucking expensive. It's like death by a thousand cuts.

This morning as I was pulling together the latest edition of the GRS Insider — this site's weekly email — I experienced the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. And that prompted this article. (And delayed the newsletter haha.)

First, I tried to read a New York Times article: “Health facts aren't enough. Should persuasion become a priority?” But I couldn't. I've already read one article from the NYT this month: “D.I.Y. Private Equity Is Luring Small Investors”. It used to be that the NYT was free. Then they instituted a limit on article consumption unless you subscribed, but it was a limit I could live with (something like ten articles per month). Besides, I could bypass the paywall with my browser's incognito mode. Then they got wise to incognito mode, which is fair enough. Now, apparently, you get one free article per month.

Next, I wanted to read this article: “Families Go Deep in Debt to Stay in the Middle Class”. I mean, I really want to read that article. But I can't. It's at The Wall Street Journal and the WSJ has been locked behind a paywall for years.

Crashing into paywalls is a daily occurence now. No — it's an hourly occurrence. I follow a promising link and bam I'm brought up short because I have to pay to access the article. This happens at newspapers, magazines, and even internet-only sites. It makes me grateful for the publications that produce terrific content and still provide it for free. (One example? I find that I'm frequently drawn to articles at The Atlantic. They provide top-notch quality without asking for payment. But for how long?)

Meanwhile, the subscription software model is starting to take its toll too. I completely understand that some apps and services require subscriptions in order to function properly. I pay a monthly fee to have Get Rich Slowly hosted on a webserver. That makes sense.

It does not make sense to me that some of the tools we use to build Get Rich Slowly require monthly (or yearly) subscriptions. There's no ongoing maintenance. There's no draw on the vendor's resources.

It does not make sense to me that my favorite weather app for the iPhone requires an annual subscription. In fact, it's insane. (Yet I still pay it.)

It does not make sense to my that Pzizz, a sleep tool that I've used for over a decade, moved from standalone pricing to subscription pricing. (And hey, Pzizz people, how many times do I have to pay for your product before you give me lifetime access? Because I've paid three or four times already.)

Generally speaking, SaaS and subscription plans aren't necessary — they're just profitable for the companies that use them. And as long as we keep paying, they'll stick to the model.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

The “cut” that's really going to mess with people's minds? The upcoming high price of television.

When Netflix and Hulu and similar companies came along, they offered low-cost alternatives to cable. Cord cutting became an act of frugality. I ditched cable television in 2007 and have never looked back. Until now.

Now, big media companies have recognized that they too can get on the act. They too can inflict one of the thousand cuts.

CBS was quick on the draw. Want to watch the latest Star Trek shows? No Netflix for you! You have to pay $10 per month for CBS All Access — or $6 per month if you're willing to put up with commercials.

Disney is a heavy hitter and they want to get in on the act. Disney+ — coming November 12th — will cost $8 per month. Want to watch the latest Marvel and Star Wars shows? Want to watch Disney and Pixar movies? This is your only option.

By far, the most popular show on Netflix is NBC's The Office, which accounts for a mind-boggling 7% of all Netflix viewing in the U.S. NBC knows a golden goose when it sees one. When its current deal with Netflix expires, it's yanking The Office and using it as a tent pole to launch its own subscription service.

Meanwhile, Netflix and Hulu and Amazon all offer their own original programming. (At least the latter is free for folks who pay for Prime, which is nearly one-third of the United States. Holy shit!) Apple will soon get in on the game and they're using big names to draw viewers: Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg, Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston, and more.

Streaming used to be a cheaper alternative to cable television. As Consumer Reports notes, these days it's a toss-up. And soon, streaming is likely to be the more expensive option.

Note: The one huge advantage to this proliferation of options? Users can pick and choose which content they subscribe to. For years (or decades), folks had been asking for a la carte pricing for cable channels. Well, I guess now we have it.

No Free Lunch

To provide supporting evidence for this article, I started to make a list of all of the software subscriptions I have, my software that's being “sunsetted” and needs to be upgraded (Quickbooks 2016 just notified me yesterday that it's no longer supported), the most common paywalls I encounter, and the television-related payments I make. I gave up. It's a doable thing, but it'd take too much time right now. It's a project for another day.

I know I sound like a cranky old man (again!), but I've had enough. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore! Except that I probably am.

“Don't you expect to pay for services?” Kim asked me as I bitched to her this morning. “How does anybody run a business if it's free? In your mind, their business model should be to not charge the customer?”

Okay, fair point. I don't want to be taken for a choosing beggar.

As somebody who runs a website himself and knows how much it costs (in terms of time and money) just to maintain my tiny corner of the web, I absolutely do not begrudge anyone the desire to make money.

And, in fact, my biggest challenge since repurchasing Get Rich Slowly two years ago has been balancing my desire to provide excellent information without destroying the user experience with monetization. It's a delicate balance, one that I'm not sure I'm achieving. (But hey, I'm working on it!)

My frustration is that there are just so many companies extracting a pound of flesh from me. It's too much.

Yes, I realize most (of not all) of these expenses are voluntary. Yes, I realize this is capitalism in action. Yes, I realize there are often free (or cheaper) options. Yes, I realize we can't reset the internet to 1995. Believe me: I've been thinking about this issue for years now. I understand all of this stuff. But I don't like it.

In the end, my solution recently has been to KonMari my digital life. I've removed most of the apps from my iPhone and iPad, opting to cut those with subscription fees first. When possible, choose software with a one-time fee instead of an ongoing subscription. I try to steer clear of sites with paywalls. I killed Hulu. (But then Kim promptly joined.) Even though I love Star Trek and the Marvel Universe, I refuse to pay for CBS All Access and Disney+. I never will.

But then, I was never going to have banner ads on my website either, was I?

The post Death by a thousand cuts appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

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The Secret Designer: First Job Horror

When I graduated from art school, I didn’t have a position waiting for me, so I moved back to my childhood bedroom in rural nowheresville. Opportunities there were thin on the ground, so after months living off my parents’ ever-diminishing goodwill, I packed everything I had into a single bag and hopped on a train for the city.

I set about pitching my portfolio to some of the better agencies; I got plenty of interest, but no actual offers. As the months passed, and my funds slowly depleted, I started to compromise on the quality of the agency I was approaching but no matter how low I set the bar, I couldn’t get a callback.

As one month turned into six, I was plagued by self-doubt, I even filled out an application for a cleaning position at Burger King, but was too afraid to mail it in case that final option fell through too.

After half a year of trying, my luck changed. I got a call from an agent at a recruitment firm I’d contacted months earlier. They wanted to know if I’d be interested in an interview at Studio A [not its real name].

Studio A wasn’t the biggest agency in the city, but they were the coolest. They worked with major film franchises, and record companies, my favorite band was one of their clients. I hadn’t even bothered knocking on their door because I figured that a junior role there was about three rungs above me on the career ladder. But they’d seen my portfolio, and they wanted to meet me.

Beautiful people with top-end MacBooks lounged in liberally scattered bean bags

The very next day I found myself in the lobby of a homage to every design studio cliché you can think of: Beautiful people with top-end MacBooks lounged in liberally scattered bean bags; the numerous glass cubicles were dotted with post-it notes where intense looking designers reviewed their strategies; the glass lift to the mezzanine floor was supplemented by a climbing wall—which I later found out, was strictly for show. All of this was situated in a glass and steel skyscraper with floor to ceiling views over the city. I desperately wanted to belong there, but standing in reception, with cardboard tucked into my only shoes to cover the holes in the soles, I felt distinctly out of my depth.

To my surprise, the interview went like a charm. When asked the mandatory, “Why do you want to work here?” I managed to reference a few of Studio A’s recent projects, some of which my interviewer had been lead on. He browsed my portfolio—hastily updated the night before—and then began talking about the upcoming projects that I would be suitable for. He took me on a tour of the studio, and introduced me around. Finally he asked me what my salary expectations were. I stumbled a little, and before I could ask for the minimum amount I thought I could survive on, he offered me almost four times as much. I tried to act nonchalant as I said, “yes.” As he walked me to the lift he said that HR would need me to come in a sign paperwork, they’d call and arrange it, but probably not until after the weekend.

I still remember the elation of that walk home. The optimism I felt. Every night spent working late, every Friday lecture that I attended instead of joining friends for a beer, every risk I’d taken moving to the city, it was all about to pay off. All of my doubts had been unfounded; everything was going to be okay.

The weekend passed in a caution-to-the-wind flurry of cheap bars and impromptu parties, and then Monday came. And then Monday went. And then Tuesday came. And then Tuesday went. And Wednesday. And Thursday. In my desperation I spent hours agonizing over a three line email, thanking them for the meeting and looking forward to hearing from the HR department—I was still hoping there’d been some improbable mistake; that somehow my contact details had been misplaced, or the head of HR had the flu, or something. But I knew in my heart that somehow I had blown it. The next day, there were still no messages on my cell, and my inbox was empty.

The following week the recruitment agent who had won me the interview called. Studio A was in trouble. One of the partners had embezzled so much money that they couldn’t pay their staff, and not only were they not hiring, they were laying off almost all of their staff. For me it had been (in the recruiter’s opinion) a lucky escape. I didn’t feel lucky, not only had I missed out on my dream job, but I was now competing against 40–50 designers with real world experience and extensive contacts.

Weeks passed and just as I was contemplating calling my parents and begging for help, I ran into David [not his real name]. I’d met him previously at a co-working space. He bought me a beer and as we drank he offered me a few days work—officially it would be voluntary, but privately he’d slip me some cash to compensate me for my time. I had nothing better to do, so I took the job, spending a week clearing up David’s company’s website.

At the end of the week, David called me into his boss’ office and handed me an envelope with $400. I thanked him, and as I made to leave he asked me what I would say if he told me he was setting up a design agency.

“You don’t have the experience,” I blurted without thinking.

“Let me worry about that,” he said.

The ‘agency’ consisted of Alan [not his real name], an experienced developer David met in the same co-working space he’d met me. David, who was making himself creative director. And the whole project was being bankrolled by David’s current boss Freddy [not his real name], the owner of a paper supply company out of whose offices we would be working.

I just had to stay in the game until something better came along

David offered me much less money than I thought I was worth; the offices were in a part of town that was frankly dangerous—muggings were common and there was even a murder in the building opposite; there weren’t even any clients yet. In retrospect, saying “yes” was one of the worst decisions of my life; but almost a year after graduating I was close to destitute. I told myself I just had to stay in the game until something better came along.

Although my official role was ‘designer’ I was more of a general lackey. I labored away at my workstation, while David positioned himself on my shoulder issuing instructions. It quickly became apparent that my primary role was to bridge the gap between David’s creative ambitions, and his inability to understand Adobe CS.

For the first month we worked on the agency’s branding. The name of the agency was Digital Slap [close, but not its real name] with the strapline “Do you wanna get slapped?” It was so bad that I begged David to reconsider. But it was, in his words, “Edgy”; I had to admit it was better than his first choice: Yellow Snow. Once we’d done our best with the branding, we started mocking up case studies to fill the empty portfolio, until we had a stable of clients.

One morning, about six weeks in, David arrived triumphant; he had won the job to redesign the branding of one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city, and if we did well, we’d be redoing their digital and print work too.

Job 1: Register a new domain for the restaurant. Job 2: Design a fresh brand identity that referenced their old logotype, but would update their image to target a younger market.

The brief was vague, but I didn’t have the confidence to say so, and in my naivety I thought I could make it work. I dropped into the process I’d developed in college, rapidly iterating over ideas until several strong contenders emerged. I worked them up into presentable artwork, spending more time than strictly necessary on the best idea to ensure the client went the way I wanted them to.

David wouldn’t let me attend the pitch—which in retrospect should have sounded alarm bells—but he was the boss, so I simply briefed him before he left, told him to present the best idea second, and sat on the office fire escape waiting for the verdict.

David returned half cut and flustered. Not good enough. Try again.

So I started again, developing three new options. David again pitched alone. Again David returned, but this time he was more angry than flustered. Not good enough. Start again, and this time 12 options to choose from.

I didn’t know where I was going wrong, clearly there was a misalignment of the client’s expectations and the brief. Even more clearly, David didn’t know how to run a design project, but I had no idea how to broach this subject with my increasingly volatile employer.

It was Friday night, Alan and I called a crisis meeting. Freddy was busy with his primary business, and David didn’t show up. So Alan and I sat in the darkened studio, late into the night, trying to come up with a concept that would save my job. As is so often the case, when I really needed it, inspiration struck and I had an idea that was radically different to everything we’d presented so far. I worked through the weekend mocking it up on everything from T-shirts, to the sail of a yacht.

I showed it to David on Monday morning, but he refused to present it to the client. “They want more options, not less,” he raged. I was to get back to work, he would tell me when to stop.

Day after day I ground out ‘designs’. I abandoned my process, and simply looked for ways to introduce variation so that I could meet my quota of 12 logos per day. In the end I churned out 326, the vast majority of which were of no quality whatsoever.

In the end David told me to stop. I had lost the client.

In the end David told me to stop. I had lost the client. I hadn’t been honest when I took the job, because I’d lead him to believe I was a capable designer. He liked me, and he wanted to give me another chance, but I mustn’t let him down this time. I promised I wouldn’t.

While I had been churning out restaurant logos Alan had been working on a separate project: David’s plan for a directory of boutique hotels that catered to niche customers, like the cyclists, or pet owners. I was redeployed as Alan’s assistant, and we began a remarkably productive partnership. Alan already had a working beta version, so I skinned the UI and we started approaching hotels, eventually bringing enough on board for a serious beta test.

Since the start of the venture David had often been out of the studio, meeting clients, or working from home. But around this time he became increasingly absent. Alan started running a betting pool with the staff from Freddy’s primary business, on whether David would turn up that day. Invariably he turned up the day before pay day, and only the day before pay day.

One day, Alan and I knocked off early, and I walked with him to the train station. On the way we passed a bar and Alan remarked that he usually saw David in there when he passed. “Where did you think he’s been everyday?” he asked, wiggling an imaginary glass next to his mouth (the international symbol for ‘drinking problem’).

Ten months to the day after we’d started Alan resigned. He’d taken the job as a condition of residency, but he’d met his conditions and was leaving for a high-paying role in IT security at a well known Swiss bank. The last thing he ever said to me was “Get yourself out of here.”

Alan’s departure prompted a new work ethic from David, who appeared the next day bright-eyed and enthusiastic: Alan leaving made things difficult, but it didn’t change what we had to do; in fact if anything, the reduced staff costs would keep us afloat longer; we both had to work harder, but we’d be more agile; from now on, we’d both have to start bringing in clients.

Every day, no matter how early I arrived, David was already there, jabbing away at his keyboard. He chased prospects, followed-up with old leads, and brain-stormed fresh ideas for side-projects. Despite this, we still didn’t have a single client and I was inventing work to fill my time. Then one day, David didn’t appear.

Freddy called me into his office for a ‘chat’. He told me he’d fired David. Freddy had known from the first few weeks that he’d made a mistake investing in the scheme, but he’d given David his word that he’d fund it for a year, and that is what he had done. Freddy told me he’d been impressed with my diligence over the past year. While he was closing the doors of the design agency, his primary business was going fully digital and he needed someone to run that side of the business. He offered me the role, together with a salary bump.

I took the job, and although the opportunities for creative work were few and far between, I learned a lot about web technology, managing staff, and working with clients. Freddy turned out to be one of the best bosses I ever had; he genuinely cared about his employees, taking an interest in our lives, and pushing us to excel. I learned what it meant to be treated with respect. Freddy eventually trusted me with hundred-thousand dollar decisions that I was in no way qualified to make. If Freddy had been in the design business I’d probably still work for him today.

After the studio folded, David moved into his girlfriend’s apartment around the corner from mine—in fact we shared the same landlord. He could usually be found in the bar where he’d first bought me a beer, complaining over and over to anyone who would listen that Freddy had swindled him. More than once I carried him home when he was too drunk to walk.

One day, David had a heart attack and collapsed in the street. His girlfriend tried to save him, but he was dead before the ambulance arrived. I didn’t go to the funeral, but Freddy did.

When I look back on that period of my career, it’s with enormous regret. The disappointment over not getting my dream job lead me into a semi-abusive role that crippled my confidence for years.

What I regret most is missing out on a mentor. I should have been a junior designer, working for an experienced lead, watching how they handle clients, learning their design secrets. Instead, I’ve had to wing it, learning as I go. And even though my current portfolio includes award-winning work for blue chip clients, I still struggle with the imposter syndrome that plagued me in my twenties.

Epilogue

When Freddy closed the agency, my final job was to approach the restaurant I had spent months rebranding, to chase up the invoice.

It was then that we discovered that the job had never existed. David had met the restaurant owner in a bar, and persuaded him to invest in a better domain name. David must have thought that gave him a foot in the door, and we could produce a rebrand so impressive that the restaurant would buy it from us. The times he’d left the office to pitch my designs, he hadn’t even met with the ‘client’.

A few days later, a check arrived from the restaurant to cover the cost of the domain we had registered for them. The agreed price had been $5. Freddy laughed and pinned it to the notice board above his desk. As far as I know, it’s still there.

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The Secret Designer: First Job Horror

When I graduated from art school, I didn’t have a position waiting for me, so I moved back to my childhood bedroom in rural nowheresville. Opportunities there were thin on the ground, so after months living off my parents’ ever-diminishing goodwill, I packed everything I had into a single bag and hopped on a train for the city.

I set about pitching my portfolio to some of the better agencies; I got plenty of interest, but no actual offers. As the months passed, and my funds slowly depleted, I started to compromise on the quality of the agency I was approaching but no matter how low I set the bar, I couldn’t get a callback.

As one month turned into six, I was plagued by self-doubt, I even filled out an application for a cleaning position at Burger King, but was too afraid to mail it in case that final option fell through too.

After half a year of trying, my luck changed. I got a call from an agent at a recruitment firm I’d contacted months earlier. They wanted to know if I’d be interested in an interview at Studio A [not its real name].

Studio A wasn’t the biggest agency in the city, but they were the coolest. They worked with major film franchises, and record companies, my favorite band was one of their clients. I hadn’t even bothered knocking on their door because I figured that a junior role there was about three rungs above me on the career ladder. But they’d seen my portfolio, and they wanted to meet me.

Beautiful people with top-end MacBooks lounged in liberally scattered bean bags

The very next day I found myself in the lobby of a homage to every design studio cliché you can think of: Beautiful people with top-end MacBooks lounged in liberally scattered bean bags; the numerous glass cubicles were dotted with post-it notes where intense looking designers reviewed their strategies; the glass lift to the mezzanine floor was supplemented by a climbing wall—which I later found out, was strictly for show. All of this was situated in a glass and steel skyscraper with floor to ceiling views over the city. I desperately wanted to belong there, but standing in reception, with cardboard tucked into my only shoes to cover the holes in the soles, I felt distinctly out of my depth.

To my surprise, the interview went like a charm. When asked the mandatory, “Why do you want to work here?” I managed to reference a few of Studio A’s recent projects, some of which my interviewer had been lead on. He browsed my portfolio—hastily updated the night before—and then began talking about the upcoming projects that I would be suitable for. He took me on a tour of the studio, and introduced me around. Finally he asked me what my salary expectations were. I stumbled a little, and before I could ask for the minimum amount I thought I could survive on, he offered me almost four times as much. I tried to act nonchalant as I said, “yes.” As he walked me to the lift he said that HR would need me to come in a sign paperwork, they’d call and arrange it, but probably not until after the weekend.

I still remember the elation of that walk home. The optimism I felt. Every night spent working late, every Friday lecture that I attended instead of joining friends for a beer, every risk I’d taken moving to the city, it was all about to pay off. All of my doubts had been unfounded, everything was going to be okay.

The weekend passed in a caution-to-the-wind flurry of cheap bars and impromptu parties, and then Monday came. And then Monday went. And then Tuesday came. And then Tuesday went. And Wednesday. And Thursday. In my desperation I spent hours agonizing over a three line email, thanking them for the meeting and looking forward to hearing from the HR department—I was still hoping there’d been some improbable mistake; that somehow my contact details had been misplaced, or the head of HR had the flu, or something. But I knew in my heart that somehow I had blown it. The next day, there were still no messages on my cell, and my inbox was empty.

The following week the recruitment agent who had won me the interview called. Studio A was in trouble. One of the partners had embezzled so much money that they couldn’t pay their staff, and not only were they not hiring, they were laying off almost all of their staff. For me it had been (in the recruiter’s opinion) a lucky escape. I didn’t feel lucky, not only had I missed out on my dream job, but I was now competing against 40–50 designers with real world experience and extensive contacts.

Weeks passed and just as I was contemplating calling my parents and begging for help, I ran into David [not his real name]. I’d met him previously at a co-working space. He bought me a beer and as we drank he offered me a few days work—officially it would be voluntary, but privately he’d slip me some cash to compensate me for my time. I had nothing better to do, so I took the job, spending a week clearing up David’s company’s website.

At the end of the week, David called me into his boss’ office and handed me an envelope with $400. I thanked him, and as I made to leave he asked me what I would say if he told me he was setting up a design agency.

“You don’t have the experience,” I blurted without thinking.

“Let me worry about that,” he said.

The ‘agency’ consisted of Alan [not his real name], an experienced developer David met in the same co-working space he’d met me. David, who was making himself creative director. And the whole project was being bankrolled by David’s current boss Freddy [not his real name], the owner of a paper supply company out of whose offices we would be working.

I just had to stay in the game until something better came along

David offered me much less money than I thought I was worth; the offices were in a part of town that was frankly dangerous—muggings were common and there was even a murder in the building opposite; there weren’t even any clients yet. In retrospect, saying “yes” was one of the worst decisions of my life, but almost a year after graduating I was close to destitute. I told myself I just had to stay in the game until something better came along.

Although my official role was ‘designer’ I was more of a general lackey. I labored away at my workstation, while David positioned himself on my shoulder issuing instructions. It quickly became apparent that my primary role was to bridge the gap between David’s creative ambitions, and his inability to understand Adobe CS.

For the first month we worked on the agency’s branding. The name of the agency was Digital Slap [close, but not its real name] with the strapline “Do you wanna get slapped?” It was so bad that I begged David to reconsider. But it was, in his words, “Edgy”; I had to admit it was better than his first choice: Yellow Snow. Once we’d done our best with the branding, we started mocking up case studies to fill the empty portfolio, until we had a stable of clients.

One morning, about six weeks in, David arrived triumphant; he had won the job to redesign the branding of one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city, and if we did well, we’d be redoing their digital and print work too.

Job 1: Register a new domain for the restaurant. Job 2: Design a fresh brand identity that referenced their old logotype, but would update their image to target a younger market.

The brief was vague, but I didn’t have the confidence to say so, and in my naivety I thought I could make it work. I dropped into the process I’d developed in college, rapidly iterating over ideas until several strong contenders emerged. I worked them up into presentable artwork, spending more time than strictly necessary on the best idea to ensure the client went the way I wanted them to.

David wouldn’t let me attend the pitch—which in retrospect should have sounded alarm bells—but he was the boss, so I simply briefed him before he left, told him to present the best idea second, and sat on the office fire escape waiting for the verdict.

David returned half cut and flustered. Not good enough. Try again.

So I started again, developing three new options. David again pitched alone. Again David returned, but this time he was more angry than flustered. Not good enough. Start again, and this time 12 options to choose from.

I didn’t know where I was going wrong, clearly there was a misalignment of the client’s expectations and the brief. Even more clearly, David didn’t know how to run a design project, but I had no idea how to broach this subject with my increasingly volatile employer.

It was Friday night, Alan and I called a crisis meeting. Freddy was busy with his primary business, and David didn’t show up. So Alan and I sat in the darkened studio, late into the night, trying to come up with a concept that would save my job. As is so often the case, when I really needed it, inspiration struck and I had an idea that was radically different to everything we’d presented so far. I worked through the weekend mocking it up on everything from T-shirts, to the sail of a yacht.

I showed it to David on Monday morning, but he refused to present it to the client. “They want more options, not less,” he raged. I was to get back to work, he would tell me when to stop.

Day after day I ground out ‘designs’. I abandoned my process, and simply looked for ways to introduce variation so that I could meet my quota of 12 logos per day. In the end I churned out 326, the vast majority of which were of no quality whatsoever.

In the end David told me to stop. I had lost the client.

In the end David told me to stop. I had lost the client. I hadn’t been honest when I took the job, because I’d led him to believe I was a capable designer. He liked me, and he wanted to give me another chance, but I mustn’t let him down this time. I promised I wouldn’t.

While I had been churning out restaurant logos Alan had been working on a separate project: David’s plan for a directory of boutique hotels that catered to niche customers, like cyclists, or pet owners. I was redeployed as Alan’s assistant, and we began a remarkably productive partnership. Alan already had a working beta version, so I skinned the UI and we started approaching hotels, eventually bringing enough on board for a serious beta test.

Since the start of the venture David had often been out of the studio, meeting clients, or working from home. But around this time he became increasingly absent. Alan started running a betting pool with the staff from Freddy’s primary business, on whether David would turn up that day. Invariably he turned up the day before pay day, and only the day before pay day.

One day, Alan and I knocked off early, and I walked with him to the train station. On the way we passed a bar and Alan remarked that on his way home, he usually saw David in there. “Where did you think he’s been everyday?” he asked, wiggling an imaginary glass up to his mouth (the international sign for ‘drinking problem’).

Ten months to the day after we’d started Alan resigned. He’d taken the job as a condition of residency, but he’d met his conditions and was leaving for a high-paying role in IT security at a well known Swiss bank. The last thing he ever said to me was “Get yourself out of here.”

Alan’s departure prompted a new work ethic from David, who appeared the next day bright-eyed and enthusiastic: Alan leaving made things difficult, but it didn’t change what we had to do; in fact if anything, the reduced staff costs would keep us afloat longer; we both had to work harder, but we’d be more agile; from now on, we’d both have to start bringing in clients.

Every day, no matter how early I arrived, David was already there, jabbing away at his keyboard. He chased prospects, followed-up with old leads, and brain-stormed fresh ideas for side-projects. Despite this, we still didn’t have a single client and I was inventing work to fill my time. Then one day, David didn’t appear.

Freddy called me into his office for a ‘chat’. He told me he’d fired David. Freddy had known from the first few weeks that he’d made a mistake investing in the scheme, but he’d given David his word that he’d fund it for a year, and that is what he had done. Freddy told me he’d been impressed with my diligence over the past year. While he was closing the doors of the design agency, his primary business was going fully digital and he needed someone to run that side of the business. He offered me the role, together with a salary bump.

I took the job, and although the opportunities for creative work were few and far between, I learned a lot about web technology, managing staff, and working with clients. Freddy turned out to be one of the best bosses I ever had; he genuinely cared about his employees, taking an interest in our lives, and pushing us to excel. I learned what it meant to be treated with respect. Freddy eventually trusted me with hundred-thousand dollar decisions that I was in no way qualified to make. If Freddy had been in the design business I’d probably still work for him today.

After the studio folded, David moved into his girlfriend’s apartment around the corner from mine—in fact we shared the same landlord. He could usually be found in the bar where he’d first bought me a beer, complaining over and over to anyone who would listen that Freddy had swindled him. More than once I carried him home when he was too drunk to walk.

One day, David had a heart attack and collapsed in the street. His girlfriend tried to save him, but he was dead before the ambulance arrived. I didn’t go to the funeral, but Freddy did.

When I look back on that period of my career, it’s with enormous regret. The disappointment over not getting my dream job lead me into a semi-abusive role that crippled my confidence for years.

What I regret most is missing out on a mentor. I should have been a junior designer, working for an experienced lead, watching how they handle clients, learning their design secrets. Instead, I’ve had to wing it, learning as I go. And even though my current portfolio includes award-winning work for blue chip clients, I still struggle with the imposter syndrome that plagued me in my twenties.

Epilogue

When Freddy closed the agency, my final job was to approach the restaurant I had spent months rebranding, to chase up the invoice.

It was then that we discovered that the job had never existed. David had met the restaurant owner in a bar, and persuaded him to invest in a better domain name. David must have thought that gave him a foot in the door, and we could produce a rebrand so impressive that the restaurant would buy it from us. The times he’d left the office to pitch my designs, he hadn’t even met with the ‘client’.

A few days later, a check arrived from the restaurant to cover the cost of the domain we had registered for them. The agreed price had been $5. Freddy laughed and pinned it to the notice board above his desk. As far as I know, it’s still there.

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[mrrolandtfranco]

Steal These Globe-ifiers Please

So I was making a series of maps to use in a bonkers new Story Map to continue my (apparently) annual contribution to the Geopolitical Curiosities serial (pt 1, pt 2, stay tuned for pt3 my freinds) and, as often happens to me, I fell down a cartographic rabbit hole…of delights. Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. I think a singer in a small musical ensemble from Liverpool said that once.

This globe is completely fake:

I thought, wouldn’t it be cool if the story’s maps started out in the hand-drawn style, then faded into a (plausibly) realistic globe? I liked the results, which were both fun, and made me want to reach out and touch the map. Like I’ve said, if a map invites an urge to reach out and touch it, then you might have something special.

Images to Steal

So I quickly cobbled together in Adobe Creative Cloud a handful of images, with suspiciously earth-shaped holes punched out of them, that you all can drop into your ArcGIS Pro layout on top of your 3D Scene, or 2D map (2D map with a “The World From Space” projection, anyway). The result is a surprisingly effective globe-ification. So, please steal them (right/ctrl click, and save) and line them up over your own round maps. But remember, with great globe-ifying powers comes great globe-ifying responsibility.

Globe-ifying

Here’s how to do it. It’s mega easy. In a Pro layout, arrange your map just so…

Then insert one of these mischievous globe-ifying images at the top of the layout…

And you’re done! Export your image and take a bow.

How to Make a Plausibly Realistic Globe-Looking Map

A lot of the work went into creating a map that looked reasonable passable as a physical thing. Let’s get one things straight, right off the bat. If you are looking for inspiration when creating a globe-ish map, I recommend you go straight to Bellerby Globes and check out their artistry. I took inspiration from their Albion series in Prussian Blue.

Consider the following hacks…

Projection. I used The World From Space projection, which is a pseudo-perspective projection that replicates what the world looks like from…oh, well, you get it. I modified the projection to be centered over the continent of Africa, for the purposes of the story map I’m working on. Or you could just use a 3D Scene.

Surface. I draped the earth (I have a oft-used shapefile of a single polygon that covers the earth) in a watercolor paper texture. This is a photo I snapped of my watercolor paper pad. Find all the assets and the process at this post about creating watercolor maps.

Watercolor. As I said, I took my inspiration from the Bellerby globe. I sampled their ocean and land colors and applied those tints to my trusty watercolor fill texture, available in the aforementioned post.

Graticule. Latitude and Longitude grid lines are a handy visual component for cartographers, for lots of reasons. Here is the map with those lovely parallels added in…

Looks pretty flat though. Neat, but not very convincing.

3D-ishness. There are two more layers that add to the fully-faked reality of this map-globe monster. I made a copy of my earth-covering polygon and gave it a radial fill of semi-transparent black at the edges.

Ok, I’m particularly proud of this next stunt. Every globe, pretty much, is comprised of rounded triangles called gores that wrap up into a sphere. Try as they might, globe makers can never fully erase these seems if you look closely enough. But I like that. It belies something hand-made and wonderful. So I used a definition query to reduce a layer of longitude lines to only every 20 degrees. Then I gave the line a dual stroke. One side is faint white and one side is faint black. I did this for western hemisphere lines and reversed it for eastern hemisphere lines. Together they conspire to replicate the thin paper fault line and lip at the border of the gores.

All together they help sell the roundines/paperiness…

And that’s the end of that chapter. Prepare yourself mentally, and emotionally, for all sorts of globe-ifying fun. Try on for size this soviet-era Globus IMP Voskhod spacecraft navigation instrument, for instance…

Thanks for following along! I hope you try it out, and share with everyone here in the comments, or on Twitter or Instagram, the various fake globes you devious rascals make.

Here are some shout-outs to the photographers who contributed to these globe-ifying backgrounds…

Apothecary

Library

Office

Workshop

Nature

Globus (ok fine, here is the overlay of the Globus if you want to try it)

Happy Globe-ifying! John

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[charleightolley-blog]

Creative Collaboration Summary

For this creative collaboration project, we were put into groups of four with people we had not worked with before. My team consisted of Luke, Jade, Alastair and myself. It was apparent, once in the group, that I had clear leadership skills and I took charge as the creative team leader. The purpose of this project was to work on our collaboration skills and develop an understanding of how to use teamwork to find solutions to a brief. We were given the task to work on a live brief from the established charity Shelter. The brief consisted of three key points - to create a new virtual challenge which compliments their existing fitness challenges, to design visual prototypes for the virtual challenge product and to devise a launch implementation plan with a budget.

Throughout this project I feel I have enhanced my self management skills and team management skills as I had to be in charge of my fellow team members as well as myself. I felt, although some people put more into the project than others, we worked well as a team and successfully used a team approach to solve the problems we faced as a group. I also feel through this project I maintained and developed my individual strengths which are concept design and the design of interactions, experiences, processes and strategies along with Adobe software. I developed these through successfully collaborating with my fellow peer Luke. He holds a better understanding of Adobe Illustrator and was able to teach me and expand my knowledge through creating visual prototypes.

I began by defining the roles within the team to allow peoples strengths to enhanced this project. As creative team leader I took charge with the concepts and the outcomes. There was a lot of time spent thinking and discussing issues without coming to a conclusion. I was able to get the team members to speak their mind and then make a decision so we were able to move on. Luke’s strong points were creating mockups of the digital platform which would host the challenge. This was also my strength so we worked together on this aspect of the brief. Alastair was in charge of researching into the campaign and where advertising would work best online. Jade’s role was to create the visuals that will feature in the campaign. To help the team work well together and build the motivation, I ensured I recognised when the team was doing well and praised then for their work and ideas.

As the teams leader, I noticed that not all of the work was spread out among the group evenly. This is defiantly one element that we could have improved on. Myself and Luke did a lot of the concept development and the design work as this was our strong point. Alastair researched into advertising on social media and Goggle to see whether charities received grants for advertising online and devised a launch implementation plan with the budget of £20,000. Jade created very successful animations which explained the concept of our idea well and they worked well in the final pitch to Shelter. As the creative team leader I feel I should have become more authoritative at the beginning of the project as I know my team didn’t work to their full potential and needing pushing. Originally I did not want to come across too bossy but towards the end of the project I started to become more assertive to get the others in my team to do the work I have asked of them.

On the 21st November we presented our three initial concepts to Shelter. This was so they could chose the idea they wish for us to develop for the pitch at their London offices. I feel that the presentation went well, however I did most the of the talking, explaining and answering the questions. This was a downfall within the group and something we had to work on for the official pitch. The feedback we received from Shelter was difficult to understand as they spoke about two of our ideas as if they were one whole idea. A big problem we faced as a group was attempting to work out which idea they wished for us to use. The idea we decided that they wanted us to take forward is “Take A Step”. We decided to link the challenges to statistics on Shelters website. In the UK, over 250,000 people are homeless - we decided to use this statistic in our challenge and this is an element that Shelter really praised. The fitness challenge is relatively achievable for people who are not fitness fanatics - accomplish 250,000 steps in a month. The unique selling point is the more steps you do the quicker you unlock exclusive celebrity content.

The final pitch to Shelter was December 12th at Shelters London Old Street offices. The whole team managed to speak about what they contributed to the presentation. I decided to give the clients something different so our idea would be memorable and created a physical prototype of the mobile application showing the users journey through the app. After presenting, the only question they had to ask was whether it's up to the person participating in the challenge to encourage donations through their JustGiving page they set up when registering. I responded with the challenge would work similar to taking part in any of the existing RUSH challenges that Shelter already host - you would encourage donations from family and friends yourself. If it was an app on your smart phone, it could possibly send “push notifications” to remind you to get donations.

As a whole I believe I benefitted collaborating with a group that I had not worked with before as it built my confidence to work with new people and helped me develop leadership skills to manage a small team of people. I also had the chance to improve my skills and expand my knowledge of Adobe software, specifically Adobe Illustrator. Moving forward onto new projects I would ensure, that if given the position of team leader, put fake deadlines in place to elevate the stress of rushing all the work at the end of the project.

[davidrsmithlove]

If Consultancies Are The Future Of Marketing, Why Are They Just Buying Agencies?

The death rattle for marketing agencies has been heard for the past few years.

Word has it that the once cool, hip and innovative hubs of creativity for brands are being pushed aside, because the large auditing and accounting firms have entered into the marketing services space. Apparently, these consultancies have a very compelling and future-focused offer. Don't believe me? Google it! You can't throw a creative director down a flight of stairs these days, without a business card from one of the major consulting firms' HR departments falling out of their skinny jeans.

Accounting firms are now making billions of dollars by providing marketing agency services. 

From the accounting firms' perspective, this all makes perfect sense. They went from helping large businesses manage their P&Ls to consulting within the CEOs office on everything from strategy to innovation. From there, it makes sense to not just tell these brands what to do, but to actually do it for them. Meaning, you can show them where they could be making more significant strides in profit, but then you can also staff that part of their accounting business (or bring the services over) to make the strategy happen. As technology, marketing and the customer experience blend into a fifth level of hell for the Chief Marketing Officer (who up until this point was primarily managing the advertising budget and agency relationship), it all seems like the perfect storm for these consultants to walk right in and take over.

Consultants? We don't need no stinking consultants!

The news cycle is serious about the pending marketing agency apocalypse. The recent headlines say it all...

Accenture Continues Its Agency Acquisition Spree, Buying French Retail Network Altima.

Analyst: Accenture a 'credible buyer' for beleaguered WPP and Publicis.

Accenture Tops Global M&A Report, Beating WPP.

Something's happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear.

Here's the thing: it doesn't appear that these consultants are offering anything more to a brand, other than further consolidation with the promise of efficiencies. Or, in other words, the consultancies are saying to brands, "hey... work with us for all of your marketing services," and all they're really doing is buying agencies or hiring talent from the agencies when they convince the brands to pass that work over to them. If agencies are failing, why are they being bought at such a high velocity? If agencies don't work anymore, why is their talent being poached on a daily basis?

The marketing agency model is not broken. How agencies are marketing themselves is broken.

That is the lesson that Google and Facebook learned, as they quietly went direct to brands and built their media empires by keeping the agencies at arm's length (these platforms hired their own media buyers and even offered up free creative services in exchange for media spent). It's the same lesson that companies like Adobe and Marketo are deploying these days, when it comes to marketing automation... and these bigger accounting consultancies are spinning the same narrative. When, in reality, these companies are simply building out their marketing services - that they claim are dying in the agency model - by simply buying those agencies (or the people who work at them) and bringing them inside the tent.

So, here's the real question: what makes a consultancy any better at delivering marketing services than an agency?

What makes a consultant charge any differently than the agencies do? What makes the quality of their work (in specific, their creativity) any different? What makes a consultancy any different than the agency that they just bought?

It seems to me like they're the exact same thing... or am I missing something?

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