#and this scene where they're separated got to me... like it totally broke her

[norellenilia]

Damn, I remember the first time I watched FMA 03, when I was 16 or 17, I stayed up until 1 am to finish it, and today, watching episodes 38 through 42 turned me into such an emotional mess that I have to take a break lmao what happened??? My own emotional traumas, that's what happened

I'm feeling so many things again

In episode 38, when Ed and Al are fighting, Al drenches Ed in water and he says "it's going to rain!!!" and I'm like haha no don't try to pull a Mustang on me I know this episode won't make me cry and GUESS WHAT the flashback with Trisha convincing Ed to go and find Al so they can talk things out and Al looking so happy that Ed isn't upset with him anymore it's so cute I CRIED

I need -- no, I DEMAND a spin-off series where Winry and Scziezka solve murder mysteries together (I'd love to write it myself but I know I'm not nearly good enough at coming up with mystery stories lol), they're adorable I'm so happy they totally get together post CoS

Martel's death hits SO MUCH HARDER than I remembered holy shit, she and Al actually got close, we see more of her, her death is so horrific and hearing sweet sweet baby boy Alphonse cry just BROKE MY HEART I never wanted to hug an armor so badly

Scar's brother's last moments, the way he looks so terrified and desperate to protect his little brother from Kimblee and Scar being so devastated when he dies I just-- *clenches fist*

Sloth using Ed's PTSD against him that's so UNFAIR; also I was thinking that I was a bit disappointed that this anime did not include the nightmare that Ed has at some point in the manga where he sees his mom saying "why didn't you make me right" etc but this is it, this is this scene, and it's worse because he's hearing it for real, he is very much awake, he has the real voice of his mom in his ears and she's saying this to him and I'm-- *clenches fist harder*

Rose's story, I'm still so mad, she deserves all the happiness in the world

Speaking of Rose, it's so funny how the moment Al is like "I wonder how Rose is doing" the show just full on goes "Ed/Rose shipper" mode lmao, with Ed blushing while pretending not to remember her, him being so awkward when he speaks to her just before they go on their separate ways and her son just smiling and giggling when he speaks (first time we see the baby laugh, he had only been crying up until then) :') To be honest it feels a bit out of the blue to me but idk

Dante sporting Lyra's white ass in the town of brown people and speaking as if she was part of them just because she's following Rose around to manipulate her is incredibly cringe, but then again, it's Dante, she's the villain and we're already supposed to know something is up with "Lyra". But still.

Very random but Al pulling objects from or putting objects inside his armor from behind the cloth always looks very awkward lol

I used to never really care about Scar but I have learned the errors of my way as I now realize he is actually one of the best characters in this goddamn series, even with the orb of knowledge and the three arm losses, and Mangahood!Scar being much more villainized and ending up working with the military will never come even CLOSE to 03!Scar using his last bit of strength to save Alphonse to honor his love for his lost brother and take his ultimate revenge on those who murdered his people in the goal of protecting oppressed people, all of this while an epic music is playing (honestly it even feels like Ed is made to be seen as an obstacle as he tries to prevent the soldiers from entering Liore lol)

Sorry but Wrath is annoying as hell, I know that I'll probably have a different opinion if I rewatch CoS after that, but for now I hate him

We're finally entering the "Rewrite" era of the show and I had forgotten how much it rocks (Ed's hair animation at the beginning fhjkfhkdhjk)

I only have 9 episodes left but between Lust and Sloth in the upcoming episodes I'm not even sure I'll be able to watch it all in one go lol. Still excited to see more of Winry and Scziezka and remembering how much Hohenheim is absolutely useless in this x)

[0stalk-x]

Update

So recently I've been fleshing out the beginning of the story. I've got everything down up to actually meeting Dorian- after that it gets a bit more confusing because everything branches out from there.

I've also made a sprite for one of the other characters, Layla. Although it's a stand-in for now.

I won't change her final design much- Just clean up her sprite- animate the eyes- and make the facial expressions into separate facial features like Dorians.

Talking about Dorian- I just finished re-working the code for his sprite so it's easier for me to work with.

Another thing that I've got sorted is the naming and pronouns. Before starting a new save you'll get a screen that asks you to choose Aiden's and Dorian's names and pronouns.

You can also now build opinions on other characters in the game. For example, When you first get into the college classroom Layla will talk to Aiden. If you decide that Aiden finds her annoying, then they will make sure not to sit near her later.

I've also added in some personality metres. Right now there are three: openness, kindness, and secrecy. Depending on the choices you make Aiden will change. If you make more introverted choices then their openness will lower. Rude choices lowers kindness, and choosing to tell people about specific things lowers secrecy. And vice versa (extraverted choices heightens openness, being nice heightens kindness, being secretive heightens secrecy.) These will affect how Aiden acts outside of your choices- and if certain ones are high or low enough- it might take away your choice all together.

Don't want to tell someone that you broke into Dorian's house? well too bad. Your secrecy is at 0, now Aiden's gone and told Layla without letting you choose and Layla is freaked out and wondering if she should report it.

I've also been developing some minigames and I figured that not everyone want's to play minigames, especially when some of them will be purposefully hard and non-replayable. So I figured that I'll either make some settings to toggle specific minigames on and off, or have a totally separate game mode without the minigames.

This does raise the question of how to decide the outcome- with some I can replace them with a few choice menus- for instance I'm working on a point-and-click one where you go though Dorians room while they're out- this could easily be replaced with a a few choices saying things like 'look in drawers' 'check computer' ect. ect. However more in depth minigames will be harder to replace. I'll have to think on this more and come up with a solution when I get to this.

That's all for what I've actually worked on- but I do have some ideas that I've been thinking about adding.

Firstly: Would it be fun if some scenes were randomised? I'll take a scene from the prologue for example:

Aiden bumps into Dorian, Dori falls over but quickly gets back up and leaves- You choose if Aiden thinks they were rude, cool, or if they don't care- Then they see that Dorian dropped a paper and you can decide to give it back, leave it. or take it.

I was thinking- I could make it so that there's a 50/50 chance on how Dorian will act when given the paper. They could either act polite, or rude.

I definitely like the idea although I'm not sold on it. Unlike the minigames it's not something that I would be able to make a setting to turn it off with as I wouldn't have a means of deciding which scene to have play. There will also already be scenes that change based on existing factors- for example, if Layla knows that Aiden doesn't like her then she won't be nice, but if she either doesn't know that, or they're friends, then she will be. However there are some things that wouldn't make sense to base on things like that, going back to the example with Dorian- what would that be based on? Either way, I think its and interesting idea that I'd like try out.

The other idea that I had was having a separate story where Dorian is stalking Aiden instead- of course this is a far future idea as I'll have to finish the main game before thinking about extending it. You would still play as Aiden and would still have the choice of stalking Dori or not.

That's it for this update. Thanks for following along with my devblog!

[marshmallowgoop]

you should ,, totally drop the ryuketsu fanfic .....

I won't make any promises, but this fic does mean a lot to me—it was my NaNoWriMo project for three years!—so I'd be sad if I never did anything with it. But it's definitely not at the point where it's ready to be shared yet. It's a real mess!

Buuuut I do have a tag on my blog for it! #klk-fairytale-au

There are a bunch of snippets posted there, as well as a link to the short I started (and never finished) that inspired the full-blown novel. The story has undergone a lot of changes since that initial idea, and it starts at an ending that I'm not sure will be the final ending anymore, but it's maybe got the vibes I'm going for, and I think the link is broken now, so here's a new one!

Thank you for your interest. This fic really is my baby, and I'm touched that others want to read it <3

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXV

It was a love story from the very beginning.

You are the one in my heart (Part I)

(11x11/11x12)

Hello my friends! Here we go again with another meta about season 11!

This time I'm gonna talk about the way this season makes us see that Dean is in love with Castiel and the angel being the only one in his heart. To talk more thoroughly about this, I divided the topic into two parts.

I want to say thank you to @destielle for beta reading this for all of you! Thank you girl! 💕

Get it out of my head!

Just a little thought about this quote that was repeated several times by several characters in episode 11x11 'Into The Mystic'. Of course they referred to the Banshee, but it was clearly a mirrored description of what was going on with Castiel, at that time possessed by Lucifer.

Cas left when Lucifer occupied his vessel, but while Sam openly worries about him, Dean confronts Sam and us with his trust in Cas and him disappearing… 'Cas is always fine!' 

He was so embedded into his drama with Amara that he had no time for additional worries. And Cas was always fine... Right?

This momentum is important because of the drastic change we will see in Dean’s stance on this after he discovers that Castiel is possessed by Lucifer. From then on he won’t rest until he is able to rescue him. His priorities will change and Amara will drop lower, behind Cas, on the list. But we will talk about this in the upcoming metas.

Oak Park and Broken Hearts

I need to talk about the two songs in the beginning of the episode: they're extremely romantic, talking about two lovers and how they meet again. So… these may be just little hints of Castiel coming back to Dean after being possessed. 

But let's jump to The Residence Oak Park. We meet Mildred, I know, but there's another interesting character, named Arthur. Arthur is the man in charge of the residence, but the reason why he sleeps at this place is because he separated from his wife. He starts talking about it with Dean, and it’s obvious he got his heart broken. He says this sentence to Dean…

ARTHUR: I should have sent the heart. I can be so stupid.

The meaning behind this? He regrets how they broke up over phone, but even more that he didn’t do more to keep her by his side. And these regrets are exactly the same Dean will be struggling with after discovering that Cas was in fact Lucifer the whole time. Maybe he should've paid more attention to what was going on with Cas, acting so weird… but because Cas is always okay, as he claimed... and with Amara on his mind, worrying him a lot, he just couldn't see it.

When Arthur is killed by the Banshee, we encounter through Mildred that he had a heart condition (valves issues), so we, as the audience, connect that bit to the symbolism of the broken heart. This also applies to Mildred herself when she says she has Atrial Fibrillation, another cardiac pathology.

So… why wanted the Banshee to kill Dean? What made Dean vulnerable? Also his heart! It was broken by his encounter with Castiel (Casifer) in the bunker!

Don't use me as bait

Before jumping to Casifer’s and Dean's scene, I want to point out how blatantly the writers helped us seeing the subtext.

First of all they made the Winchesters talk about broken hearts. Because they needed us to see that case revolving around that topic.

Secondly, after Dean and Casifer had their moment, Dean was very offended by the thought of Sam wanting to use Mildred as bait. Why? 

Because writers wanted us to see that what Cas inquired to Dean was to make him act as the bait to catch Amara. And that was the cause of Dean's vulnerability and broken heart… he thought Cas was asking him to play the bait, thus putting him recklessly in danger. His Cas, who always had been loyal to him and who would never hurt him, always took care of him even. It broke Dean’s heart, because he thought Castiel didn't love him the way he did. Again, the shadow of the unrequited love…

And that’s said scene:

Dean enters the bunker and finds Casifer searching for something, looking disheveled with rolled-up sleeves and no overcoat, especially without his trenchcoat. It’s an odd sight of the angel. And rightfully so, because it’s not the real Cas…

After this they start talking about Amara…

DEAN: Yeah, I know. Saying you're gonna kill is one thing, but... Actually doing it's something totally different.

LUCIFER/CAS: What do you mean?

DEAN: I've had two shots at Amara. I struck out both times.

LUCIFER/CAS: What are you talking about?

DEAN: I don't even know where to start.

LUCIFER/CAS: Dean... Tell me everything.

Lucifer found something that sparked his interest: why isn’t Dean Winchester able to kill or harm Amara? So he plays the concerned friend right here to gather more information from Dean.

DEAN: I tried to kill her.

LUCIFER/CAS: Well, the two of you are connected somehow by the Mark.

DEAN: Yeah, no, it's, uh... It's more than that.

LUCIFER/CAS: Attraction? Oh, Dean.

Gif set credit @starlightcastiel

DEAN: I know. I know. Okay? Whatever it is, a... Attraction, connection... I got to tell you, man, it scares me. I don't know that I can stop it. I don't know that I can resist it.

Dean defines his issue with Amara with the word ATTRACTION, but he doesn't know exactly what it is, because he can't control it. Because it’s a dark force that drags him to her. So he doesn't know what it is, but he knows what it’s not (I will talk about this in the next meta). So, Dean is terrified… he doesn't like it. 

Lucifer is lucky because he can use this against Amara, but he tries anyways to act like a comprehensive friend… but he fails… his first mistake is to place his hand on Dean's right shoulder (and that's when Dean looks at him suspiciously) because that's not Castiel's shoulder (profound bond shoulder).

And after this Lucifer says those unlucky words that will break Dean's heart, proning him to become a Banshee's victim.

Gif set credit @starlightcastiel

LUCIFER/CAS: Hey, it scares me, too. But we will find out what this is, I promise. In the end, it may help draw her out. This could be a good thing.

Dean looks at him hurt and confused. Why does Cas want to use him as bait? Doesn't he care about him? 

Dean is pining for Castiel

Gif credit @demondetoxmanual

Mildred was introduced in this particular episode as a wise character, with Dean she talks about watching sunsets and FOLLOWING YOUR HEART. Dean listens to her, and really reflects on those words as we will see in the final episodes of this season, when he follows his heart trying to rescue Castiel from Lucifer despite the main plan. It will be a war decision, more accurate in the circumstances, revealing he never changed his mind and will and has always put Castiel first, because Castiel comes first in Dean’s heart.

Another interesting and wise observation Mildred made about Dean, and writers were very specific to make us see it, is the following…

MILDRED: Darlin'... If there's one thing I've learned in all my years on the road, it's when somebody's pining for somebody else.

[Dean smirks]!!!!! Oh, don't try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember? I don't know who the lucky lady is, but I am damn sure jealous.

Mildred saw it, just like the banshee, Dean is pining for someone. The lucky one that has his heart however is not Amara, we know that Dean is afraid of her and he knows it’s not love that he feels for her. But Dean smiles nonetheless… he smiles, because Mildred found out. Yes. He is in love. Yes, he is pining for someone. And it’s a very hot, blue eyed and winged man. 

A little Destiel mirror

Just a couple of words about episode 11x12, we have Alex here with a boyfriend that turned out to be a vampire ( a monster) which she didn't know about before.

Pay attention to this dialogue after Alex finds out her boyfriend is a monster.

ALEX: (To Henry) Nothing? None of it was real?

HENRY: Seriously Al? You were a complete freak! I mean, you were an angry loner, creeping around the school like some kind of trench coat mafia?

CLAIRE: You're gonna burn in hell, you sociopath.

HENRY: (Still looking at Alex) I could never date someone like you.

It’s a switched mirror, Alex represents Castiel now, and the disappointment of being rejected will come at the end of the season when Dean calls Cas their Brother. Oh yes, the car scene… and the coward We/Us speech… my heart.

To Conclude:

Mildred served as a channel to show us Dean is pining for Castiel, delivering an advise Dean will follow once he finds out Cas is in danger.

Dean had his heart broken because of Cas (Casifer), drowning again in the idea that his love is unrequited.

Alex/Henry relationship was a switched Destiel mirror and a premonition of the "rejection" Castiel will feel when Dean calls him a BROTHER later on.

I hope you enjoyed this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From s11, here you have the links Vol. LXII, LXIII, LIV.

Buenos Aires, June 9th 2020 3:17 PM

[migleefulmoments]

I don't think anything of what the cc fandom posts anymore is "continued optimism". It looks like sheer terror that they're losing their game. Abby is in pure desperation mode, trying to rally the troops because she can see Darren's life is turning out to be nothing like she predicted. She can no longer validate that Darren NEEDS her, he keeps going against her. They're losing their grip. This isn't optimism, it's because everything Darren is doing equals Abby losing control of the narrative.

I agree with that they were in panic mode since the wedding but the 72 hours or so after Hollywood was announced they were euphoric that this was proof that Darren would be coming out soon.  That has worn off already and they are back to their normal crap but for a few days, they were giddy. They were even speaking about a divorce in very near future.

I am going on record, I like AW and I like her a lot.  She is team D, I really have no doubt and everything she is showing is that she is on his side and around to protect him often and frequently. 

Yes she is giving us the illusion that she and PBB are besties that love to take intimate photos together but in reality she is showcasing exactly who M is, how much she lacks chemistry with D, some really not so pretty moments behind the scenes btwn D&M (there was some golden footage from European trip number 1 includng that video from the fireworks where E is all snuggled into her man and D&M look like virtual strangers), she flew to that island to babysit, and she announced the business family honeymoon.

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer. 

AW is team d. She is a hard working, extremely successful men’s stylist with a pretty impressive client list at this point.  And while she would absolutely have loyalty toward D, as she built her career styling him, she should not be this involved. A friend just reminded me that her other client, FW is currently promoting the J/udy Ga/rland movie.  That is something AW usually would accompany her clients to, she follows D everywhere.  yet no one questions why instead of being with FW she spent 2 days in a row with PBB.

I think she and d are working together and i believe she provides d with comfort. She babysits M, she works as a buffer, and unlike so many other enablers, she has D’s back.  She is smart, she knows how to play M and her stans.  On the surface she looks like she might almost be in love with M (seriously she has way more chemistry with her than D), but it is all a mirage, done for show. And if you look behind a lot of what she posts, it is harmful to m/iarren.  

I know I have repeated the same think a lot over the past 48 hours, but I am so scared to allow myself to believe that change is ahead. And i got burned with ACS because I BELIEVED with my entire being this was the beginning of change and then everything escalated to full on disaster.  But I still think no one got burned more than D&C because I am fairly certain they thought change was ahead as well.(Again the narcissism just has to rear it’s ugly head). 

But I cannot stop myself from being optimistic and it is not just the RM partnership.  It is the totality of the circumstances. It is watching the past 7 months since the sham mockery.  It is seeing how they past 7 months were designed solely to promote her, not D, and done mainly using people only seen by fandom (her employees/friends, SK, PBB’s team).  She got the massive exposure and the press from the “wedding” and some RCs as the “wife” but not much more and has now been relegated to mainly being promoted by the aforementioned. And that is only seen by fandom. Add, for the past several months, D himself has hardly tried.  A random good pic here and there, but otherwise he orchestrated group honeymoons, barely touched her even when kissing, the jerk, bitch glare, the back turn.  D has gained nothing until now. He certainly did not do this for a show he sold 3 years ago that is being written by, like them or not, Hwood novices.   I hardly think he needed a wife to score the TB commercial. And SA doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who cares who d’s partner is, it was just a great collaboration.

And here we are, September, D is filming R/oyalties and we get the announcement that he is collaborating with RM again, not just as the star, but exec producer of a show that largely involves, based on early press, LGBT+ themes.  And I have to HOPE.

The stage is set.  D “married” her.  He has been set up to take the blame as well as his team, thereby absolving RM.  And it would make a lot of sense for RM to now step in and play the “hero.”  We know the truth. D and C know the truth.  But RM has the power to smooth what is going to be a difficult narrative to navigate. And it is a win for D&C and a win for RM.  The m/iarrens are going to be devastated, as they are so invested in being right and D being straight (No we aren’t)(again the narcissism and her soul-crushing need to be right-is this about Darren or Abby?).  And even if we just get a separation it will all be questioned. Because M is the only thing that makes him straight (not true, Darren identifying as straight is what makes him straight).  Everything else points at the opposite.  Add the press has not helped him at all on his path to come out, so it is going to be difficult to navigate.  Having the “king of television” in his corner speaks volumes.

And then there is his horrific, abusive, incompetent team. And they haven’t just fucked with him, it seems with their no queer article they fucked with RM.(Huh? What?) I really hope they live to regret it.

Karma is a bitch.. May she rear her ugly head and finally give these people what they deserve. If i am sitting here a year from now and nothing has changed, I will be heartbroken for him.  And wonder if maybe he did choose career.  I just can’t believe that is who he is. I think he is a fighter and everything he has ever shown confirms that (DELUSION-ville) thought even if there was some confusion when the fraud in NOLA first occurred.  

Here is hoping nonnie.  Here is hoping.

I think a major decision like this was made together.

Read the book when it comes out in Oct 1. I thought c references RM. now I’m near positive.

And Hwood itself was initially announced in February.  I immediately thought this was the project RM was cooking up (curious if FW and CF join the cast).  But then there was silence for months,

And the first 8 months of 2019 were a complete shitshow that included that absolute fiasco in NOLA, excessive PBB promo, ads, ads, ads, TB, and SK.  Not a single one of which were worthy of D’s time and attention.  And to all onlookers, we were dazed and confused.  utterly and completely and not sure what to think or believe.

But putting the pieces together prior to last nights announcement, logically and rationally looking at everything, it seems to me that finally D was tying up loose ends.  While I do think D himself was dazed and confused in the first few weeks after that fraud occurred, it has been clear to me that starting with the work family group honeymoon (I think of all the arrows to m/iarren that have been shot, this might be my favorite) something shifted.  How anyone can not see that that woman was being way over promoted is beyond me (Because “promotion isn’t a thing, Abby”). But clearly the 1st 8 months of 2019 were devoted to giving her everything and anything she ever wanted.  Add in SK, the biggest enablers, that are being rewarded, first by raising an obnoxious amount of cash, and now with R/oyalties with D’s writers being his partners in the business. All of these things are massive pay out.

And last night we get this announcement from D.

notes-from-nowhere

do you want to know what I find very intriguing in all of this? The fact that all of that has been said in this topic pretty much sums up what we have said in the last 15 months if not more.

The latest news only uncovers the thread that keep all of “out theories” together. Of course something might be wrong, misplaced or misunderstood but the big picture is there for all to see (No, you don’t say?).

I do think it is too soon for me to fully embrace the idea that finally things are on the right path but well, please, excuse me for my optimism after a year and a half of struggle.

I’m going to root for D to have back his life and to finally be free to make his own choices. I hope this career advancement (or for better wording: this career extension) will give him what he wants and the power to just be his fully self and spread his wings.

I will watch what’s unfold in front of my eyes with interest from now on and a reneview wave of hope. 

I do trust D is going to take the best decision ever among those available to him. My only fear is that those options may not be the one I hope for him but all I can do right now is wait and see. Hope for the best and expect the worst. Is the wiser thing I can do

ajw720

@notes-from-nowhere it’s impossible to not be skeptical. I didn’t see that “wedding” a 1000 miles away. (SMH) I care way too much (a me problem). I felt like my heart broke that day and I need to take care of me and be cautious. But I’m leaning this is good and I do think the public evidence to date supports this.

This is what euphoria looks like in cc fandom.  

It’s interesting that she convinced herself this is Darren coming out when she thought he would come out during Hedwig based on this:

He and C were very relaxed, joking at interviews when G/lee was ending, both in France at the same time, the C/ol-Fur joke, the repeated telling of mandate.  Everything seemed to point to a positive resolution.  C even scheduled his book tour to be finished the day prior to d’s last performance. and then D was nominated for an emmy and everything seemed to shift and spun out of control and here we are, 4 years later.

She “rationally analyzes” the data and comes to the conclusion he’s coming out rather than understanding he’s just living his life.