#and thus I don’t really remember the episode except for like. fragments.

[jonkentdeservesbetter]

So, now that I’ve used 24 hours (+ a longfic from a completely different fandom) to calm down from the end of the last episode, #3, summoning all the child-abuse apologists of this fandom, I can share a theory. I actually posted about this one before, back when S2 had recently aired it’s finale, and Mannheim was name-dropped by John Diggle, to JHI.

(This is messier than I wanted, but tbh I’m still really fried from the fandom shittiness; it’s unsurprisingly not dissipated, so, yeah. Largely I just wanted to get this out before forgetting, since I like this theory quite a bit - mostly, I think, because it feels probable.)

While this show would not be described as comics-accurate by literally anyone, there’s a history of “totally unexpected” (read: out of fucking left-field; all misdirection and no foreshadowing groundwork) plot-twists, yet we are apparently not getting that with S3’s main villain; as was, iirc, stated in interviews.

That said, there’s always at least one thing put in that, because of how the show uses comics-canon, we can’t spot coming. It’d be pretty interesting if this time, instead of the writers playing with comic details to create a fake-out not comics-accurate, they made a plot-twist that is, plus actually well-received by most, as well as, shockingly, has gotten foreshadowing. Yep: Jon getting his powers.

I won’t go over every detail of foreshadowing Jon getting powers, because it’s a list, and I am…verbose. Instead, let’s look at ep. 3x03.

In episode 3, we not only actually get some real focus on Jon doing “hero stuff,” which we’d been ‘promised’ by the show-runners would be the case for Jon at last, but which many burnt out fans would not believe in, we also got something else. Kryptonian blood experiments, done on Mannheim’s orders.

How does this connect to Jon, specifically?

For those who aren’t aware, and for those who may have simply forgotten, in comics-canon, when Lois was investigating Bruno Mannheim and Intergang, they kidnapped her and Jon. Now, maybe they don’t know that Jon’s blood is special, or maybe, since nobody treats him as Kryptonian, Jon did the blood-drive without anyone even being aware, tipping Mannheim off to taking him.

I don’t need it to be one or the other, for my theory: it just matters if they’re kidnapped.

Because in the comics? When Jon is taken with Lois, and Superman can’t save them (not in-time, but also, Mannheim is able to hide them from Clark in the show, so), Jon’s powers awaken. He gets them out of there.

Things of course would be very different in the show, in other regards, like Mannheim possibly taking Jon to refill the blood supply he lost in the explosion, and also, that, like in the very similar Smallville plot, so long as one has access to continuous injections of Kryptonian blood - like medication - they’re able to survive diseases that would be fatal, Lois could also be experimented on with his blood while they’re captured, which helps her cancer. It isn’t a magically cure-all that would eliminate cancer, because it has to be a continuous supply, and there may also be the factor of blood compatibility - although, that likely wouldn’t be an issue for the two.

It would further Mannheim’s plans, would establish his goals more clearly to us, and yet, at the same time, it would show exactly how far he’s willing to go; what evil he does.

It would also, naturally, give Jon his powers. Plus, while we’ve had little things building up to this - the blood-drive flyer, finding bags of blood, the identification of the blood as from Clark (as Kryptonian) - in the show, we have also gotten interviews that’ve said Jon’s plot is something that’ll have him finally following in his father’s footsteps, and that Bishop is really excited for the fans to see this season - Bishop, who’s hoping for Jon to be Superboy in the show, and talked about wanting Jon to fly, and watched seasons 1 & 2 alongside us.

So is there hope? Will Jon’s powers finally awaken? Well…the poster quotes hint at it possibly being true. The question, however, with this show and Jon, is if follow-through will ever appear, or drop off a cliff suddenly.

Personally? I would LOVE if Mannheim not only came after Lois (because we all know she’s a threat, and she JUST destroyed his blood supply), but also took Jon, preferably because he found out about his blood (that would be a great time for SOMEONE to at last say “you’re Kryptonian” to him!! finally!).

Whether of not Mannheim discovers Jon’s got Kryptonian genetics or not - and think how much it would up the stakes if he did, because he would definitely put the pieces together, not to mention if he experiments with Jon’s blood with Lois she can believably recover without it being a terribly ableist magic one-and-done cure, instead creating a very unique ‘medication’ that really could only be used for her, as well as would have such a short supply it wouldn’t matter if it didn’t, and that it explains itself for why the Lane-Kents can’t risk anyone else knowing; because it would out their family and place the boys in immediate danger - either way, Jon gets his powers, and it would be both original enough for the show, and comics-accurate enough for the fans wanting that.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep12

This show really doesn’t want to give me much to work with, huh? lol

Anyway, thoughts under the cut. Plus more Umineko stuff.

On the one hand only like 10% of this episode is even substantial enough to talk about on it’s own merits, but on the other hand I actually think it handled the recap stuff better than most of Sotsu has thus far. I guess the fundamental issue is that they shouldn’t have structured this whole series this way to begin with, but if they were gonna do recap stuff anyway, this approach is better than just dragging out these loops for no reason.

After how the last arc went, it was pretty obvious to me that there wouldn’t be anything particularly interesting about these loops, which ended up being totally right, so I’m glad they didn’t dwell on them much.

It could have been interesting if they sped their way through the first couple of arcs in one or two episodes and spent more time on these loops instead, but I don’t think that’d change the bigger issue of how this is still just recap material we have to get through on the way toward returning to the Nekodamashi cliffhanger, so in that sense the ideal option would have been to gloss over ALL these loops.

Either way, this actually covered more than I thought it would, since the preview images only showed up to the Akasaka loop, so I think I ended up being less negative on this than most people are, since it came across as mercifully brief, despite still being really boring since this is the most blatant recapping that we’ve gotten in Sotsu thus far.

We still have the last two episodes of Nekodamashi to get through, but since this episode went over the first two Nekodamashi episodes in addition to separate scenes with Eua and Hanyuu, it seems fairly likely that we can get back to the gun cliffhanger by the end of the next episode, which would leave us with at least two episodes to show what happens afterward.

Part of me does agree that it’s hard to imagine this not leading to some kind of direct continuation, but I still feel like there’s ways they could end this that would only require a couple of episodes once we get back to the cliffhanger, so it’s entirely possible that it’ll just end here.

All I can do is speculate, but at this point it feels like they ran into an issue where they didn’t have enough material to justify having Sotsu be even one cour long, but they couldn’t figure out how to condense the entire story into one two-cour season, so they had to use recaps to stretch Sotsu out into it’s full length. 

Having this episode end with Eua and Hanyuu finally confronting each other also makes it feel like this is genuinely gearing up for the climax of the whole story. At the very least it’s kinda hard to imagine how we could get a full season or more of content after this arc, with how everything’s out in the open and everyone more or less understands what’s going on. It feels like all that’s left is to bring the story to it’s close, and the question is just how that’ll work in practice.

There’s still the lingering thread of the promo material showing the other club members as teenagers in different outfits to the ones they had in Satokowashi, but I dunno how much I should read into that. And the fact that it’s part of Sotsu’s key visual and OP seems to imply that whatever it’s related to will happen within Sotsu itself anyway.

Like I’ve said before, the only real way this series can justify it’s own existence at this point is to be an Umineko prequel and end with the formal creation of Bern and Lambda, and even if it might annoy people, that could easily lead to a somewhat abrupt ending where Rika decides to embrace her own witch side so that she and Satoko can be together forever, even just as separate entities to whatever they leave behind in the real world. I at least think that’s more likely than this ending in basically the same way as the original series except Takano gets replaced by Satoko and/or Eua.

At the very least, the recap of the scene where Rika has a mental breakdown about her trauma and her crippling fear of being left alone reminded me that that would be a pretty understandable basis for her accepting the idea of becoming a witch so that she and Satoko can be together forever while traveling the sea of fragments. Obviously it’s pretty clear at this point what Satoko would get out of that kind of relationship, but I think Rika would also have her own reasons for wanting that, especially if this ends with Hanyuu permanently leaving her one way or another.

And on that note, it looks like we’re finally going to get some content between Eua and Hanyuu that actually explains what their deal is, so that’s exciting. I think I said last week that I’ve been thinking of Gou-Hanyuu as being a piece that Eua created, but after this episode I think it’s more likely that this is basically the same Hanyuu we’ve always dealt with, and that Eua is like the separate witch version of her. Which isn’t really that different to my original idea, but instead of Hanyuu straight up turning into Eua, she split into two entities. Which would at least fit with how this whole process has been depicted several times. It’s also clear that both of them know about each other, which is especially surprising for Hanyuu, so that seems to heavily suggest that they have some sort of direct, personal connection.

Eua does seem to talk about Hanyuu like she has some kind of ownership or authority over her, but it’s entirely possible that it’s just the same sort of thing as how witch Satoko saw her ‘human self’ as an outdated fragment who couldn’t keep up with the times. So if we interpret Eua as being like the cynical, malevolent part of Hanyuu spawned from her thousand years of isolation and observation until Rika’s birth revived her spirit, then I can see why she might see Hanyuu as being a ‘failure’ for being emotionally attached to Rika and basically sacrificing herself for her sake.

It also makes me wonder if maybe instead of her being ‘defeated’, Eua basically gets merged with Hanyuu to become one entity again, and that’s how we get Featherine. But who knows at this point. I at least think that’s the closest we’d get to having Eua be ‘defeated’ as a way to resolve things.

That’s basically all I have to say about this episode, but on a separate note while I remember, I’ve started reading the translation for the Answer of the Golden Witch interview that Ryukishi did after Umineko ended, and he mentions at one point that if he’s still writing in ten years, he’d like to go back and rewrite Umineko. This interview was done in 2011, I think, so we’re now at around the ten year anniversary of him saying that, which might just be a coincidence, but Gou/Sotsu definitely feels like it’s specifically designed to set up for Umineko’s story, lol.

[nyxabird]

The Arkana Magician is probably one of the saddest characters I’ve seen.

I am the weirdest person because I think too hard about tiny side characters that are basically there just to move the plot along, and today has highlighted that because I’m crying over one of the tiniest like... seriously depressed.

So talks with my friend turned to the Pandora Black Magician/Arkana Dark Magician today, because I’m playing Duel Links and getting summon animations and that’s one I was missing. And I basically made myself completely depressed over this.

Also Memory World spoiler(s?) because this is going deep into talks about a certain someone. Since the English translation is the best known, I’ll use the English names for the post. (I’m used to using Japanese so forgive me if I slip up.)

For anyone who doesn’t know or doesn’t remember, the “Arkana Dark Magician” is sort of the mouthful title for the fake Magician we see in one of the duels in Battle City. It’s also sometimes called “Dark Magician (Arkana)” or “Dark Magician (Arkana Version)”. Or just sometimes Arkana Magician.

It’s this one, in the red armor.

Now the episode just seems like a typical throwaway copy fight whatever, tense and meaningful but nothing really new. Arkana is beaten, the story moves on, nobody thinks about him again.

Except. I started thinking about him. And where my mind went was really, really, sad. Most of this is going to be headcanon since this is barely if at all touched on in-universe, just fyi.

We have no evidence where he's from, but the most likely option is that he's a fake card. We have evidence for it -- Marik is making fake Ras, which seem to function fine as cards, it’s just their side effects boil down to “God is angry because fuck you for making copies”. And, you know, the art of the Arkana Magician is distinctly less quality than the other cards we see, hinting it’s not drawn with the same professionalism, hinting further it’s done by someone else.

You can actually see if you look at it carefully. It just looks off somehow, especially with the positioning of his arms and how the staff isn’t actually being held in his hand, it’s sort of... glued to his wrist. There’s just something very weird and not-right about it.

On top of the evidence of fake cards being made, we never see this version of the card again. We see other versions, but the fact this is a one-off unique version likely means it’s not something produced by Industrial Illusions.

So, you have Marik make a fake Dark Magician. All’s fine and dandy, except not quite no, because the Dark Magician isn’t just any card. It’s a card that was made when the High Priest Mahad fused his human soul with his ka, the manifestation of it, and basically turned himself into a Duel Monster. So you’re already playing with fire just making a fake of that.

But.

BUT.

IT GETS WORSE.

BECAUSE ALL OF ARKANA’S CARDS ARE ALIVE.

Arkana says this outright because his constant refrain is that you have to make your monsters fear you. He literally owns them, they’re his slaves, and he abused and frightens them. You wouldn’t do that for things you think are pieces of paper -- normal duelists believe in their decks and monsters but it’s like believing in your Roomba. You don’t think it’s actually sapient.

But Arkana does, he treats them like they are, and thus it’s pretty clear that his deck and cards are alive. (This is even further established by Yami himself, who tells Arkana his monsters are crying.) And thus the copy of the Dark Magician he gets is brought to life. Except it’s a fake copy, it can’t draw on the real Mahad’s spirit, so you now have this weird hybrid-Duel-Spirit-that’s-not-really-an-individual-spirit hanging around.

WHOOPS.

So the Arkana Magician is this brand new baby spirit, wide-eyed and (probably) innocent, and then he gets handed to a complete psychopath who literally abuses him and treats him like an unfeeling tool. Of course he goes psychotic under that sort of treatment. He’s been “alive” for not even a year most likely, and the only other people besides himself that he knows are his owner (who is an abusive shitbag) and the other monsters (who are also slaves, but considered under him). So he’s in this weird limbo of being worthless except as a weapon for Arkana to wield and yet somehow above the other monsters, meaning he’s basically isolated from the very start.

And what happens after this isolation and abuse? He gets pitted against Yami. With the real Dark Magician -- with Mahad. And he gets thrown into a duel where it’s made blatantly clear, with no room for misinterpretation, that he’s not the real thing. He’s a fake, a phony, a copy, an imposter. He’s beaten down, derided, and destroyed (sacrificed by Arkana himself, because he’s a tool, he exists to die for him, again and again). He existed to be a sword, that’s his purpose for being alive, and his blade just got shattered off the shield that is the real him. The real him who is loved by Yami, treated respectfully. It’s made, very painfully and bluntly clear, that he’s nothing more than a knock-off here, a thing that isn���t considered real or worth affection or care.

A knock-off that nobody actually WANTS. Because when Arkana loses, he goes insane, so of course he wouldn’t keep him. But Yami doesn’t take him either. We don’t know for sure why, though honestly, with what evidence we have, it seems very much like the Arkana Magician just slipped their mind. Arkana gets fucked over by Marik so he can’t free himself, so Yugi takes over and frees him, Marik shows up to flip them the double-bird, Arkana basically goes completely insane, and then everyone finally shows up and Yugi is just so done with all this insanity right now that it’s slipped him and Yami’s minds.

Which... honestly, I get. Yugi is a teenager, Yami only has a group of teenagers to model his feelings/handling of things on. I don’t blame them for forgetting. But even if I don’t blame them, even if I think no one’s at fault here, it’s still pretty heartless and definitely heartbreaking.

“But Nyx!” you say. “He was hostile and an asshole, why would they take him with them?” To which I ask you to remember that Yugi nearly lost a foot of what very little height he had in order to save Arkana. And also, why is Kaiba hanging around? How did Yugi befriend Jounouchi again? At this point it’s pretty clear that Yugi’s bar for “this person is too evil to be my friend” is set high enough I’m fairly certain that a giraffe wouldn’t have to do more than slightly duck to get under it.

We have no idea what happens after that, but like... knowing the card is real, the Spirit World is real, and yet he’s a fake made off a real monster the options we can see aren’t really good. It’s actually pretty likely that he’s just... trapped in the card forever, since he isn’t real on his own -- at best he’s a tiny fragment of Mahad’s soul (which seems like a very likely option since he’s inherited Mahad’s skin color and makeup), at worst he’s a false imitation of a spirit that isn’t any more real than the “Mexican” food at Taco Bell. Either way, it’s likely he can’t pass on to the Spirit World. Which means he’s just... stuck, in the card. Forever. Completely alone because Pandora can’t use him, Yami didn’t take him, and nobody wants him.

He’s “lived” for such a short time and yet everyone he ever met hated him. To Pandora, he was a tool to be used at Arkana’s whims, hurt if he ever did something “wrong”, and as the episode shows he was fucking terrified of Arkana for it (and likely hated him in turn). To Yami, he was an opponent, a fake of Yami’s beloved Dark Magician (or at the very least took Yami’s feelings to be that, if nothing else). We don’t know what Mahad thinks of him, but quite frankly I doubt it’s anything good considering Mahad strictly serves the Pharaoh and his reincarnations and here is this knock-off street bazaar him serving an insane asshole that’s trying to kill said Pharaoh.

This poor fucker was doomed from the very beginning. And it breaks my heart that in the end, even though he was a victim and never asked for this, he probably got punished just as much as everyone else because he got left behind to rot, trapped in a card in likely complete solitude until he goes insane himself or the card’s destroyed and he can die. Honestly, for as much abuse as he got from Pandora, rotting in solitude is a far worse fate for someone who never deserved it.

[exxar1]

Episode 11: New Believer, New Faith, and a New Vow

2/7/2021

- 1 -

Good morning! It’s a beautiful Sunday here in Las Vegas. I have much to talk about so I’m just going to get right into it.

           It’s hard to believe we’re already a full month into the new year. This year for me has been very rewarding thus far. For starters, I have had no trouble keeping up with resolutions 1 and 4. (For a refresher, you can scroll back through my previous posts to the one from New Year’s Eve.) I have found time each day to read my Bible and pray, and I have had little difficulty in maintaining a pleasant attitude and a smile in my daily encounters with my co-workers and customers. As expected, though, that latter one has been tested a few times by the occasional sour apples that woke up on the wrong side of the bed. But I’ve surprised myself every time by my patience and my ability to keep a calm and pleasant demeanor. (Those of you who have known me for a long time will understand how truly remarkable that is for me.) It’s simply another testament to the power of God to change our basic attitudes when we are willing to let Him.

           I’ve also made great strides in resolution #3, and that’s where I’m going to spend the bulk of my time on this post.

           Have you ever sought something – therapy, a particular medication, advice from a friend or colleague – thinking that it might help with one problem, only to be pleasantly surprised that one, the result helped in many other ways you hadn’t anticipated; and two, that the change/outcome/counseling exceeded your initial expectations by such a great magnitude that you couldn’t believe you hadn’t sought this help long ago? That feeling has been with me for over three weeks now, and it’s only getting better with each session.

           One of my first tasks in tackling resolution #3 was to consult a pastor on this issue of homosexuality and the Bible. I needed to know what God really said in His Word on this controversial topic, and since I have yet to find a home church here in Las Vegas the only pastor that I am casually acquainted with is Mark Sjostrom of the church in which I was born and raised back in Twin Falls, Idaho.

           For those of you unfamiliar with Twin Falls or this particular church, allow me to forge a brief rabbit trail here to give you a short history. Grace Baptist Church was founded in 1975, and, back then, it was just a one-story, oblong, red-bricked building, its main auditorium forming a bubble at one end, at the intersection of Eastland Drive and Falls Avenue on the eastern edge of town. It’s still that same building today, only now there’s a massive, two-story gymnasium/classroom on the other side of the back parking lot, and a third, smaller, two-room annex that sits behind the gym. The first of those latter two structures was needed in the early eighties when the church launched its own private school, Twin Falls Christian Academy. I was in kindergarten when the gymnasium was under construction. I have many memories of watching my dad and some of the other men in church up on the scaffolds, putting together the walls, while I waited for my mom to pick me up after school, which was held in the various Sunday school rooms in the church. A few years later, I would be attending high school in the classrooms above that gym.

           In the years since I have grown and left Twin Falls, I have come back to that church on the occasional Sunday morning worship service when I’m home for a vacation visit. I’ve always had mixed feelings every time I set foot beyond the threshold of its main doors (see my previous posts about my struggles during my teen years.) It’s the same feeling you get when you come back to something that is at once familiar and strangely comforting, but also brings with it unpleasant memories and the pain of old wounds that have never quite healed.

           Grace’s pastor since 2005 has been Mark Sjostrom (pronounced ‘shos-trum’), and I didn’t know him that well when I decided to consult him on this issue. Our only interaction thus far had been a brief handshake and a greeting after those sporadic Sunday morning worship services, and I wasn’t sure he would even remember me when I nervously texted him a brief ‘Hello’ a month ago. He responded within a few minutes, and I re-introduced myself and then gave a short explanation of what I needed. We agreed on a time and date for a phone call, and I emailed him the next day with a longer explanation of what I needed to talk about with him.

           That letter was a  somewhat detailed account of what most of you are already familiar with: my struggle in high school with keeping my secret of being gay while trying to fit in socially and eventually declaring myself an Atheist after being expelled from school my senior year a month before graduation. It was probably about 2 pages, and I was now very nervous after clicking the ‘Send’ button. I suppose now is a good time to tell you something else about me.

           I have been one of ‘those people’ for all of my adult life. You know who I’m talking about: the people who silently judge the other customers in the book store who pause to browse the Self Help section; or the people who quietly scoff when anyone talks about their latest therapy session with their friends or coworkers at lunch in the break room. I’m glad I don’t need self-help or therapy, I’ve always thought. But, then again, good for them, I guess. I’m glad I have all my issues worked out, and I’m a stable, normal adult. I’ve never had any issues that were so bad I needed to get help from an armchair counselor’s latest best seller or a psychiatrist’s couch.

            Hhmmm. My life, lately, has been chock full of irony.

           When the time came to dial Pastor Sjostrom’s number my level of nervousness was up to a ten out of ten on the anxiety scale. I hadn’t felt like this since high school when it was opening night of our Agatha Christie play, and I was one of the main cast. I had prepared a detailed outline of what I wanted to discuss, and, after a few initial pleasantries, Mark quickly put me at ease. I was pleasantly caught off guard by his relaxed, casual personality. I found immediately that he was very easy to talk to, and my anxiety level dropped to a ‘three’ in the first five minutes. Pastor Sjostrom is definitely one of those people who has found the right calling. His warm, personable demeanor made me feel like I was talking to an old friend over coffee at Starbucks, and after about ten minutes of getting to know one another, he brought the conversation back around to my letter.

           Here’s where my second surprise occurred. Mark was bluntly honest. I had told him that I believed I was saved in 1985, when I was seven, after the evening service of one of our church’s mid-summer week long revival meetings. “Neal,” Mark said rather pointedly, “after reading your description of your life after high school, I gotta say that it doesn’t sound like you were saved. Your behavior and your atheism doesn’t reflect the change that is described in the Bible.” He went on to explain that salvation is a change brought about the presence of the Holy Spirit in the new believer. There is a desire to learn more about God and His Word. There is a desire to serve him and to live one’s life in surrender to Him.

           I had to pause and think about that. And, doggone it, you know what? He was right. And the reason I knew that was because I had only to look at the last four months of my life, even more so since I had returned from Christmas vacation. That desire – that hunger – to know God had never been present in my life until September 17, 2020. That was the night I surrendered to Christ in an awkward, fumbling prayer on the way home from work. Ever since, I have had nothing but a desire to read my Bible and change my life. I told pastor this, and he agreed. It was evident now that I was truly saved. That evidence was lacking in my youth and my adult life up to this point.

           My third major surprise of that initial counseling session – yes, that was what is was – was when pastor told me he was assigning me homework for our next weekly conversation. He wanted me to read the book of 1 John. He explained that we would eventually get to the issue of homosexuality, but that we needed to cover this ground first. I agreed  to the assignment, and we hung up. I glanced at the clock in the upper corner of my computer screen. We had talked for almost an hour. I immediately reached for my Bible and opened it to 1 John. I read the whole book in about ten minutes.

           1 John is a primer for the new believer. John states clearly and succinctly what makes a Christian a Christian. Chapter 1:9 was immediately familiar to me from my Sunday School days: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” So was chapter 2:9: “He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness, even until now.” John goes to say in chapter 5:2: “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep His commandments.” And, finally, verse 20 of that same chapter: “And we know that the Son of God is come, and hath given us an understanding, that we may know Him that is true, and we are in Him that is true, even in His Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God, and eternal life.”

           Yep. All of that book made perfect sense. Part of that was because I had absorbed so much of God’s Word in my youth that it had sat in the deep recesses of my brain for all of my life, and much of it had begun floating to the surface in the last several months – like debris from an ancient wartime submarine that has been recently dislodged from its ocean grave. Except that these artifacts – Bible verses, fragments of sermons, some of Mr. Walker’s proverbs from Bible class – were not dirty, soggy, disgusting relics. They were bits of priceless treasure, and I’ve been rediscovering them in dribs and drabs ever since.

           I have had three sessions with Pastor Sjostrom, and they are each the highlight of my week. I very nearly broke down after hanging up from our first talk. I felt a combination of immense relief, peace and calm. Not to be overly melodramatic, but it was if something had dislodged in my very soul, like a sliver of wood just beneath the skin that has never quite come all the way out. I realized with immediate clarity that I was getting far more than just a pastor’s opinion on a particular issue for my book. I had stumbled on to something else, something I needed far more: spiritual counseling and guidance for my new life as a child of God.

           I am a new believer.

That seems so strange to say out loud. I was raised in the church. I had at least a third of the Bible memorized by the time I was twelve. I knew all the major stories from the Old Testament – the creation of the world; God’s covenant with Abraham; Jacob, Esau and Isaac; Joseph sold into slavery into Egypt and God’s eventual deliverance of the Israelites from their captivity there; the introduction of the ten commandments and the Mosaic Law; Esther, Ruth, King Saul, David, the Book of Psalms, the prophet Isaiah – I knew all of it by heart by the end of my days in elementary school. Same for the New Testament – the birth of Christ; all of His teachings and parables; His death on the cross; His resurrection after three days; the founding of His church after His ascension back to Heaven – it was all as familiar to me by the time I walked away from high school as the mathematical precepts of basic addition, subtraction, division and multiplication.

           I had assumed all this time that I was still saved. I thought I had really, genuinely believed in Jesus as my savior that long ago night in 1985 when I was seven years old. And maybe I did. But, for whatever reason, the Holy Spirit had not come into me back then. I was not truly saved. (This is perhaps worthy of a more detailed discussion and analysis later on down the road.) Whatever the case, I am most definitely a new believer now. The Holy Spirit is alive and well within me, and I have only a single desire and purpose: to know the God that created me, and to serve him with all my heart, soul and mind.

           Pastor and I did discuss my homosexuality issue in our second talk, and that, along with the extracurricular reading I’ve been doing on this topic, has enabled me to finally reconcile what I couldn’t in my teen years when I first fought with this problem.

 - 2 -

If I am gay, and God – through His written word – has condemned what I am as a sin, how can I be His child and serve Him as he commanded me to do? That’s the question I’ve been wrestling with anew for the last few months. I began this new journey in last September with the premise that I was born gay. I’ve believed that my whole adult life. I proceeded from that assumption through all of my reading and research these last few weeks. But if God made me this way, why would He then condemn as an abomination the very thing that I am? Is He not contradicting Himself? How can this be?

           Pastor Sjostrom asked that very question in our second talk. He then went on to answer it by explaining that my unnatural desire for the same sex was a cause of the Fall, when Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. This is what led their descendants to the sins of idolatry, fornication, sexual perversion, and many, many others. Yes, I was born gay. But that’s not how God made me. There’s a very distinct difference.

           His explanation corroborated what I have come to discover in the last couple weeks as I’ve read Two Views on Homosexuality, the Bible, and the Church from the Counterpoints series. Author and editor Preston Sprinkle gathered four prominent Christian authors, scholars, and theologians to discuss this issue – two for and two against. I will not go into great detail of what these authors debate and discuss, mainly for the sake of page and time, but also because this issue is not anywhere near as complicated as it seems.

           All four of the contributing authors to the Two Views book have used the following Bible verses/passages as the foundation of their arguments:

1.)   The creation story in Genesis 1 and 2.

2.)  Genesis 19:4-11 (Sodom & Gomorrah)

3.) Leviticus 18:22 & 20:13

4.) 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

5.) 2 Corinthians 5:17

6.) Romans 1:18-32, emphasis on verses 26-28

7.) 1 Timothy 1:9-10

Those authors have also drawn from extra-Biblical material such as the writings of Philo, a Jewish historian who was a contemporary of the apostle Paul; the Apocrypha; the writings of Saint Augustine; and various other books – most written in the last 50 years – on sociology, sexuality and anthropology in the ancient world.

Here’s an example of one of one of the arguments for the church’s endorsement of homosexuality. One of Two Views’ contributors, Megan Defranza argues that there were many people in Biblical times that were born with no distinct male or female genitalia or other defining sexual characteristics. These “intersex individuals” were often referred to as eunuchs by the people of that time, and many of them were used as sex slaves. Megan claims that Genesis 1 is “…a theological account describing creation in broad categories, not an exact scientific inventory of all of God’s good creatures.” She goes on to say that Adam and Eve were not the exclusive, ideal models for all of man and womankind. They were, rather, just the broad categories; that the birth of eunuchs and other such of types of intersex people prove that God would welcome the church’s acceptance of gays, lesbians and transgenders since they have been born that way, and their sexual desires are natural to them. She claims that God was not condemning the eunuchs and other similar people in those verses/passages I listed above. Those condemnations were for the ones who had turned deliberately turned away from God to worship idols and indulge their sinful lusts.

There’s a lot more detail to Megan’s argument, especially regarding the eunuchs and their forced sexual slavery to their male masters, but it’s not worth going into here. The other three contributing authors give similar arguments, citing external sources in addition to scripture, to support their particular view. Wesley Hill and Stephen Holmes, the two that are opposed to the church’s condoning of homosexuality and gay marriage, give the stronger of the four arguments. Two Views opens with Megan’s and William Loader’s essays (the other author who falls on the affirming and open acceptance side of this debate), but by the time I reached the end of their arguments, I already knew which side of this issue I was going to fall on.

Wesley Hill and Stephen Holmes – as well as Pastor Sjostrom – present a much stronger, sounder case for why the Christian church, no matter the denomination, should be condemning ALL forms of homosexuality as clearly as God does. My own Bible reading and prayer showed me this after only a few weeks. I don’t really need to read all the other books on this topic to know the truth. To be completely honest, I had a pretty good idea of what the end of this journey would look like before I even started it. All the verses from Genesis, Leviticus, Romans, 1st and 2nd Corinthians, and 1st Timothy that deal with this specific issue are quite clear. It is stated over and over: homosexuality is a sin in the eyes of God. Paul stated it best in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11:

“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of our Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.”

That word “effeminate” in the KJV is translated from the original Greek word that Paul used: arsenokoitai. This is a compound word: arsen – male; koite – bed. “Male bedders”, in other words; those men who sleep with other men. In the NIV translation, the word “effeminate” is replaced with the phrase “men who sleep with other men”. The only other passage that Paul uses that word is in 1 Timothy 1:8-10 (NKJV):

“But we know that the law is good if one uses it lawfully, knowing this: that the law is not made for a righteous person, but for the lawless and insubordinate, for the ungodly and for sinners, for the unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, for fornicators, for sodomites, for kidnappers, for liars, for perjurers, and if there is any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine…”

The meaning of these two passages is quite clear: those that practice any or all of those sins listed will not inherit the kingdom of God. They are not true believers and followers of Christ. And thus, any church that not only allows its homosexual members to remain in their sin, but also performs gay marriage, is not a true church of God.

And such were some of you.

God has commanded those that follow Him and declare His name to turn from their wickedness and be transformed. Those that believe on His name and repent of their sins will no longer practice those sins listed in the passages I quoted above. That’s the meaning of the phrase, “…and such were some of you.” Well, I have definitely been transformed. I can feel the Holy Spirit working in me. And, because of that, I have no other choice. If I am to be faithful to my Lord and Creator, if I surrender myself completely to His will, I must take a vow to turn away from my sin nature. I cannot indulge in the “lusts of the flesh”, as Paul says in Romans, if I am to call myself a true Christian. I am now a child of God, and His will alone must govern all I say and do.

But, even more important than those passages I listed and quoted above, is the book of Genesis, chapter two. God created Adam first and then He decided it wasn’t good for man to be alone. So God made the woman out of Adam’s rib, and he called her ‘Eve”. Then, in verse twenty-four, God said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” This chapter, more than any other passage in the Bible, clearly and explicitly demonstrates what God had intended from the very beginning. The only natural desire of the flesh was for the opposite sex: man for woman and woman for man. That was God’s original plan.

Unfortunately for us, Adam and Eve did not resist the serpent’s temptation to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. After the Fall, their perfect, pure natures were corrupted by sin, and that corruption was passed unto their children, and their children’s children. Part of that corruption was the perversion of the natural, normal sexual desire. Men lusted after men and women for women. Even though the subsequent passages in Genesis which describe mankind’s deplorable state before the Great Flood never state it specifically, it is not unreasonable to assume that more than just homosexuality was a problem. Bestiality, pedophilia, rape and incest were very likely abundant among the first few generations of man, as well as the worship of false idols and complete rejection of God. Why else would God have felt the need to punish his creation by wiping them from the face of the Earth, save for Noah and his family?

As the old saying goes, ‘God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve’. I’ve always hated that pithy, snarky retort whenever I had to defend my sexuality to anyone who tried to tell me I was living in sin. But it’s true. God created only Adam and Eve; not Adam and Steve; not Melissa and Eve; not Adam, Eve, and some other non-gender, non-binary person.

Just Adam and Eve.

Man and woman were joined in holy matrimony and, until the Fall, they lived in perfect peace and union with their Lord and Creator. Anything that deviates from that original, holy standard that God still demands of His children today, is a sin. That includes homosexuality, bestiality, pedophilia, incest, idolatry and devil worship, to name a few. Anyone that willfully practices or engages in any of those things and does not repent cannot call himself a true believer in Christ. Nor can any church that not only openly endorses homosexuality but also performs gay marriage can call themselves a true church of Christ.

So then, what now? If I accept that my sexuality is a byproduct of my sin nature, and that God, in fact, did not make me this way, how can I best serve Him? I’m still gay. That hasn’t changed. (And, yes, I’m sure. I’m watching last week’s episode of The Resident as I write this. Matt Czuchry and Manish Dayal are among the best male eye candy on TV right now.) I still desire a physical relationship with another man. (Either of the aforementioned actors would be especially nice.) But that desire – as well as the act – is a sin. God has made that clear in his Word. After some more talk with Pastor Sjostrom, I finally came to an answer – or, at least, part of one.

 - 3 -

I mistakenly assumed that after I asked Christ into my heart, after I surrendered myself to God, that my sin nature would be transformed. I thought what many torn, conflicted gay Christians and their family have thought: with enough prayer, genuine repentance, and strong faith I would no longer be a homosexual. God would change my unnatural desire, and I would be sexually attracted to women instead of men. I would throw out all the symbols of my gay pride that I had collected over the years – t-shirts, bracelets, baseball caps, the rainbow colored Apple watch bands – and I would begin my new life as a heterosexual man. 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” Yes, it would be hard at first, but God and I would make this work, glory hallelujah amen!

But that’s not how salvation works. Yes, there was a transformation, but not quite the kind that I was expecting. It’s hard to put into words exactly what I felt in the weeks and months following that quiet prayer on that car ride home from work late the night of September 17, 2020. I knew for sure that something was different. To begin with, there was an almost instant peace and calm that settled over my entire being. All the anxiety, the fear, and the worry about the state of the world around me that had been plaguing me for many weeks melted away. In its place was a quiet, firm assurance that, no matter what happened from then on, I was in the hands of God. He would take care of me.

And then, in the days and weeks that followed that moment of salvation, I began to feel more than just spiritual peace and tranquility. The first was a hunger – an insatiable, ravenous desire to read my Bible. I had only the app on my iPad, and I started with Genesis 1. Every night, before bed, I would read two or three chapters. And then I would pray. It was awkward and nothing like the prayers that I heard time and again from my dad or my teachers in high school or my pastor back then. I stumbled over my words, I repeated myself, I kept forgetting what I wanted to say. And I still felt weird doing it. It was like I was talking to myself. But I kept praying nonetheless.

Gradually, as Christmas loomed closer and closer, and the more I read my Bible and talked to God, I felt something stronger inside of me. But it wasn’t anything physical, like an emotion. It was…something else, something in my soul. I imagined this new feeling as a few drops of red ink falling into a bowl of clear water. At first, the drops fall straight down, coloring only a little bit of the water. But then the ink begins to slowly spread, crimson tendrils that stretch outwards, eventually turning the whole water into the color of blood. That’s what it felt like was happening inside of me. My soul – the very thing that made me me was being changed from the inside out. And it felt damn good!

It was after my Christmas vacation, after ten days of rest and relaxation with my family in Idaho, that I noticed an even bigger change. When I returned to the daily grind of my two jobs, I realized that my whole attitude – and, by extension, my whole outlook on life – had been transformed. I was no longer the angry, anxious, frustrated, fearful man that was always pissed about something – usually the people who were my customers. Before, I was short tempered, impatient, always inwardly complaining whenever those around me were being difficult or annoying me in some way. Now, however, I was at peace. The difference in my new attitude from the old was as glaring as night from day. I greeted my customers with a smile. It was no longer an effort for me to be patient with the difficult ones. Nor did I feel the need to rant and rage on social media about the problems of the world, as I had been doing practically non-stop before I became saved.

It was like being wrapped inside joy, as if joy was something tangible – like a big, soft, warm blanket fresh from the dryer. I had to constantly check my reflection because I was sure I had a giant, stupid grin on my face all day long. And that feeling only got stronger the more I continued to read my Bible – now an actual book that I had bought from Amazon – and pray. That, too, was getting better. I no longer stumbled over my words or forgot what I wanted to say. The hunger to know God, to build a new relationship with my Creator, overshadowed everything else in my life. I lost interest in many of the things that had once taken up all my time, like watching TV or playing video games. All I wanted to do every night when I got home from a busy day was to open God’s Word and keep reading.

But there was one thing that didn’t change during all of that wonderful transformation. I’m still gay. The desire for that sin is still there, as strong and lustful as ever. Everything else about me seems different. I am, indeed, a new creature in Christ. So why am I still gay? Why is this particular thorn still lodged firmly deep in my flesh?

I still don’t have an answer. But I do have a theory. The transformation of the new believer in Christ is not like wiping the old operating system of your ten year old iMac. With a computer you can install a whole new operating system that’s free of the bugs, viruses and malware that plagued the old system. The hardware is still the same old hardware, but the software is brand new. Your computer has been transformed. It performs and operates like a new machine.

But we humans are not machines. We are creatures born of the Fall. Being saved in Christ has made us like new, but the old self – the old, corrupt nature – is still there. The old operating system hasn’t been wiped away. Rather, the new OS is now installed, and the two systems are at war with one another. Why is that, I wonder? Why doesn’t God simply transform our sin nature by wiping it way when He fills us with the Holy Spirit? Wouldn’t that be easier – and more complete – than  forcing us to constantly battle our old selves in order to remain faithful and obedient to Him?

The honest answer is, I don’t know.

What I do know is that God, in His infinite wisdom, has chosen not to remove this particular thorn in my flesh. I am still gay.

           The thorn in my flesh. Yeah, that phrase sounds familiar. In fact, it’s been rolling around in the back of my brain for several weeks now.

In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Paul writes of the “thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan sent to buffet me.” Those four verses, more than any other Bible passages that I’ve read and also read about, have continued to echo within me ever since the beginning of this journey. Many pastors and scholars agree that that the thorn Paul speaks of was of a spiritual nature, not a physical. Paul says that he “…besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.”

The thorn in my flesh.

What if I am in the same seat as Paul? What if my sexuality is the ‘thorn’ in my own flesh?

I think that part of the reason that God doesn’t just snap his fingers and wipe away our old self is because, without those old, sinful desires and temptations, we wouldn’t continually come back to Him for mercy, grace and forgiveness. It might have taken a little longer for me to surrender if the outside world hadn’t melted down last year, but I have no doubt now that God has always been working in my life, and He wants my love, worship and obedience. My homosexuality is a reminder from Him that I have a choice: I can give in to my sin nature and indulge my own desires, or I can turn from the flesh, take up my cross daily, and follow Him.

God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows our sin nature, and He knows that when times are good, when everything is going our way, we often forget Him – just as the Israelites did over and over in the Old Testament. We get wrapped up in our daily lives, turn away from Him, and give our worship to false idols instead; or we just pay Him our weekly rituals and sacrifice on Sunday, and then put aside our Bibles until the following week. But it’s during the times of adversity, when God allows the trials and tribulations of life to afflict us, that we come to Him. We seek Him because He is our only source of comfort and peace. The storms in our lives remind us that God alone can save us, can heal us. Our afflictions draw us closer to Him. And, if we remain faithful to Him, there is much reward for our devotion and service. When the storm has passed, we often find a rainbow.

The rainbow was God’s covenant with Noah and his descendants that God would never again destroy the world with a flood. In our modern world the homosexual revolution of fifty years ago took the rainbow as a symbol of pride and diversity. When I entered my adult life as an out and proud gay man, I, too, adopted the rainbow as a symbol of pride in myself. I vowed to live my life on my terms, and I wouldn’t be cowered or ashamed into silence about who I was, of what I had been born as. But, of course, I have renounced all of that since becoming a new child of God. It is NOT my life, but His as a gift to me. I live now in complete service to Him, and Him alone.

But I’m not quite ready to throw away my rainbow bracelet that I wear on my right wrist every day. It is still a symbol to me – and to everyone I meet in daily life – but not the one that it used to be. I have found a new place beneath the rainbow created by God in the aftermath of that flood in Genesis. The peace and reconciliation I have long sought has been found at last, and the rainbow is a symbol of both my old life and my new one in God’s service. I don’t find that conflicting at all, just as I have no problem calling myself a gay Christian. Until such time as God, in his perfect timing and wisdom, decides to change my unnatural desire completely, I will always be a gay Christian, and the rainbow will be a sign of my personal covenant with Him.

The process of reconciling this issue, the spiritual traveling and soul searching that I have done over the last few months, has shown me clearly that God is my Lord and Savior. He has allowed this affliction so that I would do the work that I needed to reconcile what appeared to be a crisis of faith. I wouldn’t have experienced personal growth in my life – and my faith – without this conflict and pain. Yes, it has been painful. Peeling back the faded scars of old wounds wasn’t not all pleasant. I had to go back to that fifteen-year-old kid and have a long talk with him. (See section 5 of this post.) I wrote letters to my parents and my three brothers, apologizing for the way I treated them all those years ago. I have recognized how selfishly I have been living my adult life, and the pride of my old nature has screamed fiercely whenever I bow my knee and my heart every morning in prayer. There is now a fight within me – the old nature vs. the new self – that will never let up until I die. And, sometimes, that fight will be painful. And yes, I already know that there are times when I will fail, when I will give in to the temptation to break my new vow with God. But that failure is not as important to God as whether or not I stay in the fight. And I will stay. I’m in this for the long haul, and I know without a shred of doubt that God is on my side. He wants me to succeed.

Hallelujah, amen!

 - 4 -

           Most of you have seen my post on Facebook from three days ago. My only answer from God to this twenty-four-year-old conflict has been a call to celibacy. Until such time as he chooses to change my sin nature, to change my unnatural desire into a natural one, I have made the following vow to Him:

           I take a vow of celibacy before God; that I have surrendered my life and my will unto Him; that I will not give in to the temptations of my sinful flesh; that I recognize my homosexual desire as a sin in His eyes, an abomination caused by the Fall; that He has saved my soul from eternal damnation, and I owe him nothing less than my whole heart, soul and mind.

           I take this vow on the 3rd of February, 2021.

           Amen.

 - 5 -

           I read a long time ago – probably in a textbook somewhere in college – that one of the tools therapists and psychiatrists use in their counseling of patients is to have their patients write a letter to their past selves. As I mentioned earlier in this post, I wrote letters to my family to apologize for how I had wronged them in the past. After some more thought and deliberation I decided to write one more letter, this time to that fifteen year old kid that used to be me.

           At first, I thought this a stupid idea. I mean, how much more clichéd can one get? Plus, I’ve already treaded into dangerously melodramatic waters in this post. Is yet one more emotional, sappy passage needed?

           Ehhhh…yes and no. Turns out, I had a lot more to say to myself than I thought at first, and, son-of-a-gun, I did feel remarkably better afterwards. Guess there was some genuine, therapeutic value to this little exercise after all.

           So…here it is.

 Hello.

It's been a long time.

Yes, I see you. You've been there all along, but only recently have I begun to really see you. You've been with me my whole adult life, affecting me, shaping me in ways I never realized until now. I thought I left you behind when I left high school. At various times in my life since, I've judged you, shunned you, tried to erase you, or just simply ignored you. I could never understand why you never had the courage to speak up, to ask for help. There were a few adults – or even your friends – who would have very likely sympathized and tried to help you. All you had to do was say something! But you didn't. You kept your secret, protecting it, guarding it like Gollum with his precious ring. I was the one who eventually had to reveal the secret to those around me when I was old enough and no longer ashamed of what I was.

           But now I realize that instead of judging you and blaming you, there's one thing that I should have done long ago. I never said, “Thank you.” Thank you for giving me the strength and courage to step into the world as a confident, independent adult. It was because of you, what you went through silently as a teenager, that I developed the strength and resolve to live my truth as an adult. It was because of you that I knew what I wanted in life. It was never my desire to just go with the flow, to blend into the crowd and do whatever everyone else was doing. I did my own thing. And yes, it would have been better if I had been living that truth within God's will, but God, in His infinite wisdom, decided not to work His will just yet. He chose to wait while I forged my own path.

           Part of me wishes that I could go back in time and be the adult that you needed. I would have embraced you, told you that you weren't a mistake; that God loves you just the way you are, including being gay. And, deep down inside, you knew that you were loved. Your parents told you that every day. But you always had that sliver of doubt in the back of your mind.

“Would you still love me if you knew my secret? Would you still accept me if I was gay?”

I, the adult looking back at you across the gulf of years between us, know the answer to that is a resounding “Yes! They have always loved you, no matter what!”

           Part of me also wonders how our life would have been different if you had reached out to the one person that understood what you were going through; the one that knew your pain – and your secret. It was He that made you, after all. What I can see so clearly now is that it never occurred to you to reach out to God. You only knew Him through the church, through your teachers, through your parents, through all the endless rules, and restrictions, and demands that they all placed on you. That's what you rebelled against. God, to you, was just a system, an institution that governed every corner of your life. That institution would never understand your secret, would never accept you for the real you.

           But He was there all along. He was there on those nights when you cried yourself to sleep. You were struggling to understand your pain, to understand the turmoil inside you, but you didn't have the words or the wisdom or the experience to fully realize it all. All that you knew was anger, frustration and fear. But God understood you, and He was there in the darkness, crying with you.

           I want so badly to be there now, to wrap you in my arms and wipe away your tears and tell you that everything will be okay. Because it will be. You can’t see it now, but things will get better. You will find a way through this, and you will emerge on the other side with a strength and resolve that you never knew you had within you. The rest of your life is an as-yet-unwritten map of joys and blessings, failures and setbacks, triumphs and successes that will make all of this suffering worthwhile. You will know happiness that you couldn’t dream of – most of it found within the family that you don’t understand or get along with now. (There are 10 nieces and nephews that think you’re the greatest uncle ever, for example.) God has a plan for you, and, like the father of the prodigal son, He will be there with open arms when you finally come back home. He will accept you, just as you are.

           But all of that is for later. For now, just know this: the storm will pass, and there will be peace.

           You will find your rainbow.

[josephthropp]

Steven Universe Future episodes, listed in order of least to most Steven Trauma featured

20. Why So Blue?

Glory be, there was actually an ENTIRE episode where Steven’s trauma pretty much didn’t manifest in any notable way. This episode was nice enough to let his trauma play second fiddle to Lapis’ trauma, since no other episode was gonna step up to the plate and let him enjoy himself. Astounding. All he has to do is be a little sad that the Lapises all gotta fight. Cake walk compared to the rest of these.

19. Guidance

There’s definitely a bit of the old trauma starting to brew here, with feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty about his future starting to crop up in Steven. There’s one pink moment, but it’s used in a very superpower way, and not in an anxiety way. Overall, it’s mostly wacky hi-jinx, with the tough stuff still being pretty light compared to the rest of the season.

18. A Very Special Episode

This one’s kind of hard to quantify the trauma in, since you could argue it really is just about Steven overbooking his schedule. On the other hand, you could look at that as him starting to overexert himself in an effort to please everyone in his life and feel needed. Also, this episode might not be canon, or was just a pre-recorded PSA. Either way, let’s just put it here.

17.  The Future

This one is also kind of hard to quantify, since it’s the only one that takes place after Steven has actually acknowledged and begun to work on his trauma. He’s working through it now, and better as managing the anxiety and other symptoms that result from it. The effects of it are definitely still present, though. From here on out, though, the trauma gets a LOT more easily identifiable.

16. Bismuth Casual

No pink moments, no tears shed, but trauma is definitely here. Steven is bad at talking to humans, to the extent that he worries that his best friend doesn’t really like him anymore. The poor little lad even fails so badly at small talk he tries to refer back to a huge point of his trauma as a funny, relatable moment. How do you do, fellow teens? I too am torn into, literally. There’s at least a happy ending, but there’s some bumps along the way.

15. Snow Day

Have you ever felt that you couldn’t measure up to a younger, more innocent version of yourself from two years ago that your guardians seem to miss and like more? Steven has! Luckily, he has a full time job he can redirect all his attention to that is fully capable of distracting him from these problems he should probably examine. Doesn’t every 16 year old? Another happy ending, but you gotta cringe and wince at some stuff to get there.

14. Little Homeschool

We got the series starting off strong with Steven immediately getting back to his roots of expending himself in the efforts to help other people at the cost of his own mental health. Jasper won’t go to Little Homeschool. Amethyst tells Steven that he’s not responsible for her shortcomings. Steven reaches out anyway, even when it results in a physical fight that leads to him going pink for the first time while Jasper derides him. This early on, though, that part is still just his cool new superpower.

13. Bluebird

Strange that the only episode with an outside force that is explicitly trying to murder Steven is this low on the list, but here we are. More Steven roots, with a new gem that wants him dead. He knows it from the start, but is convinced to give Bluebird a chance. Things go well, until Bluebird tries to murder him. There’s a surprise guest appearance from Greg’s trauma, with the loss of his hair disappointing everyone involved. All in all, nothing like two of the same people that contributed to you CPTSD showing back up to really augment the stress it causes.

12. Rose Buds

If ever there was an episode that just exuded an absolute feeling of second-hand embarrassment, this would be it. This is most definitely not the worst case of Rose/Pink trauma from Future, but that doesn’t make it any less painful to witness. Like a horrible car crash you keep watching, in awe of the horror of it all. “I’m dying, I’m dying, I am dead, I am dead Rose Quartz!” Indeed. That’s the same way I felt watching Steven keep accommodating each and every Increasingly Bad Idea.

11. Prickly Pair

Remember when the Future intro was revealed, and everyone assumed the Cactus Steven was gonna be some low-tier villain accidentally caused by Steven’s powers? Gee, did we get suckered. Turns out the real villain was introspection all along! If that poor little cactus did anything wrong, it was doing whatever was taught to it by the only person who gave it any guidance; Steven Universe, Noted Trauma Victim.

10. Little Graduation

It was a bit of a toss-up between Little Graduation and Prickly Pair for which one had more trauma. Prickly Pair had no pink outbursts, but it also didn’t have much in the way of even the meager reassurance Steven gets in Little Graduation that things will be okay. One thing Little Graduation does have, though, is the low point of Steven losing his direction. The job he thought might’ve been his purpose only leads to him being sad when old faces move on. Just like his friends. Plus there’s the whole issue of being unable to process change that he himself didn’t bear witness to. When he’s pulling off to the side of the road with a half eaten pizza just to look at the stars, you just know Steven is going through it.

9. In Dreams

How do you be friends with someone when you’re not preventing the end of a world? What do friends do? The answer that Steven and Peridot come to is roasting bad television, but not until Steven’s damaged psyche is literally projected for Peridot to witness. If he can’t do what his friends want him to, Steven’s first instinct is to beg them not to leave him, even if he doesn’t have anything to offer them. He’s naught but a cute little problem-solving machine, after all.

8. Together Forever

When you plan a wedding at the age of 14 in the immediate aftermath of finding out your rebel mother was actually the same tyrant she rebelled against, you might start to look at marriage as a quick band-aid for serious problems. Worried that you, a 16 year old without a plan for the future, will be inexorably separated from your 14 year old girlfriend when she seeks early admission to a college across the country? Just propose, and live as a fusion once she accepts! If she doesn’t, that’s cool too. You can just have an immediate and sharp depressive spiral.

7. Volleyball

Remember when I said Rose Buds wasn’t the peak of Rose/Pink Trauma? Good news, we just arrived at that peak! If learning about the selfish things your mother did had a negative impact on you before, then getting another one thrown onto the pile while you’re already volatile is probably not great. Steven’s pink side is finally shown as a destructive force instead of the superpower its been thus far. That “scream that could crack the walls” that Volleyball mentioned is second only to a stomp that can damage the entire Reef.

6. Mr. Universe

Steven Universe has always been very upfront about showing Steven’s dual heritage as an integral part of him. Steven Universe Future continues this trend by portraying his human trauma in conjunction with his gem trauma. If life with the gems and your diamond powers is getting you down and out, Steven, fret now. Mr. Universe is here to show you that your trauma will have the same consequences in your interpersonal relationships with human family and friends, too! 

5. Growing Pains

Okay, let’s say you’d willfully ignored the trauma for the entirety of the 13 episodes that came before this one. If that’s true, then you’re Steven, and Dr. Maheswaran is here to spell it out for you. Steven experienced trauma. This revelation leads to more trauma. You could make a case for this episode being number one on this list with the amount of traumatic incidents shown in the background during the diagnosis. Those are flashbacks, though. Traumatic flashbacks, but flashbacks nonetheless.

4. Homeworld Bound

Ooh, this traumatic venture has it all. Intrusive thoughts about murder, being faced with a reflection of what you’ve become, and hanging out with four people who all wanted you dead at some point. Double trauma when those same four people all seem to to be doing way better now, doing community service and living their best lives after you helped them out. Bonus round is rejecting the same life-changing advice you gave to one of them once upon a time.

3. Fragments

Jeez. A few years back, the Steven’s Knife episode jokes were just that jokes. Haha, he’s a funny kid that eats ice cream and only has a shield and bubble for defense. Wouldn’t it be funny if there was a joke where we pretended that he kept murdering people with a knife, since that’s obviously not a thing that would ever happen in the show? Ha.

2.  Everything’s Fine

Honestly I don’t even know why I put this one on the list. It’s the only episode without trauma. Steven is fine. It’s fine. He’s fine. This is fine. The title literally provides us with the information that this is fine. I love that comic of the cartoon dog having breakfast in the burning house.

1. I Am My Monster

Slight error here. Regular Steven Universe Future episode contains an amount of Steven Trauma that ranges from average to severe. I Am My Monster contains nothing except Steven Trauma from start to finish. Therefore, it is a statistical anomaly, and should not have been counted.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 259

All right, so now that I’ve finished my extra-long tribute to Movie 12, let’s get back to the main series.    Last time, we saw-- HOLY SHIT!

A g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost!

Well, yeah, he was in the last episode, and Movie 12 spoiled what these things are for.   But if you were watching this show in Japan in 1995, and you hadn’t read the manga, and you missed “Fusion Reborn” in theaters, then you’d still be wondering why Gotenks made this thing.

He sends it charging towards Majin Buu, who easily swats it aside...

....but this makes the ghost very happy, because...

THE GHOSTS EXPLODE WHEN YOU HIT THEM!   

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS WILD!    EXPLODING GHOSTS!    WHAT CAN TOP THAT?  

Let me answer that question with another question: TEN GHOSTS?   Let me answer that question with a statement: This show rules.

Ha ha, this one’s asleep, that’s adorable.

Gotenks orders his ghosts to line up, except they have to be careful not to bump into each other or they’ll blow each other up.    Why doesn’t he just send them all after Buu right now?  Because it’s Gotenks, that’s why.

In theory, that first ghost was just intended to soften Buu up for the other ten, except he spends so much time organizing them that Buu’s already recovered.  

Where did he get that creme soda?   I mean, he has a beam that transmutes objects and people into food, but there’s not a ton of stuff to work with in here.  As for the car magazine, Mr. Popo left those in the Time Chamber’s magazine rack.    It’s like eight years out of date, but Buu doesn’t know how to read, so it’s fine.

This infuriates Gotenks.   I mean, Buu killed some of his parents, but this seems to make him far madder than what he did to Chi-Chi.

So he sends two of his ghosts after Buu, who just leaps into the air, causing them to collide with each other.  

So Gotenks calls for his remaining ghosts to huddle up.  

Meanwhile, on the Supreme Kai planet, the Elder Kai is still powering up Gohan.   While waiting, Goku notices that he can’t sense Buu’s ki, or Goten and Trunks’, for that matter.   He wonders what happened, but the Old Kai informs him that they’ve moved to a different dimension of time, which Goku recognizes as the Time Chamber.  The Old Kai also knows that Piccolo led Buu inside, though he doesn’t know the reason.    That’s still pretty perceptive for a guy who’s not even watching.

Goku remarks that the Elder Kai is really on top of things, and the Supreme Kai takes it personally.   Look, if it weren’t for Shin, the Elder Kai would still be in that sword and Gohan would be dead.    His only real mistake was thinking that Vegeta was dependable.

Back on Earth, Bulma brought snacks.  

Inside the Time Chamber, Piccolo is freaking out, because this whole Gotenks/Buu fight has been a complete trainwreck.  These are the strongest characters in the entire franchise thus far, but their battle so far has been a complete joke. 

Anyway, Gotenks breaks the huddle, and two of the ghosts do the Armwrestling Handshake from Predator.    Except they forgot that this will make them both explode. 

So Gotenks sends in five of his remaining ghosts, keeping the sixth in reserve.   Buu thinks he’s ready for the five, until they suddenly break off their attack and gather around something on the floor of the chamber.    They all ask each other what it is that they’ve found, and Buu wanders over to see for himself.

And when he gets close enough, they all jump him and blow up.  EXPLOSION HUG! 

So that leaves Buu in pretty bad shape...

.... and Gotenks orders the last ghost to fly down Buu’s throat to destroy him once and for all.

And boom goes the dynamite.

Back on Earth, Mr. Satan is wandering the barren planet with Buu’s dog, Bee.  It’s weird, because this is like Bee’s seventh or eighth appearance and he still hasn’t been named in the subs.   In the dub, Buu named him right off the bat, and I thought Goku called him “Bee” in the 2008 special “Yo! Son Goku and his Friends Return!”   So now I’m curious if “Bee” is a dub-ism or not.  

Anyway, Mr. Satan is tired and hungry and afraid, and at one point he threatens to eat Bee, but he knows he doesn’t mean it.  

More than anything, though, he’s worried about what happened to Majin Buu, the fat one that he befriended in Episode 253.

Maybe this is a dumb question, but why is Mr. Satan traveling on foot in the first place?   I’m pretty sure Buu’s house survived the Human Extinction Attack, and even if it didn’t, Mr. Satan had food and transportation there.  Remember?    He rode into town to get dog food for Bee.   Maybe his air-scooter ran out of gas or something.

These secenes with Satan are easily overlooked amidst the gonzo super-violence that makes the Fusion Saga so awesome, but I really do think it’s one of the highlights of this story.   For a brief, glorious moment, Mr. Satan seemed to have things under control, and he’d even made a true friend, only for the whole thing to fall apart through no fault of his own.    He was always a very human character, perhaps the most human of the entire cast, but to see him so lost and confused, well, it makes him look even more human.  

After a flashback to Episode 255, which saw Fat Buu transform into Super Buu, Satan can only sigh and keep moving forward.   Maybe that’s why he’s traveling on foot.  Or, rather, I should say that there is no reason, but he doesn’t know what else to do with himself.

Back in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, Gotenks declares victory, since there’s nothing left of Majin Buu but smoking pieces.   But Piccolo was in Episode 238, and he knows Buu can still recover, even from this.   He orders Gotenks to burn all the pieces of Buu’s body, and he even helps him just to ensure that Buu can’t regenerate himself.

As they zap the fragments, Piccolo congratulates Gotenks on his victory, admitting that even he didn’t think Gotenks could pull this off.   So it looks like even Piccolo is finally calling this a win.

But then a wind kicks up from nowhere, as all the smoke from the ashes of Buu rush up above Piccolo and Gotenks.

And Buu regenerates, same as before.  Piccolo realizes that they should have obliterated the fragments instead of simply burning them, and even then, they should have exited the Time Chamber and destroyed the door, sealing Buu inside, just in case he could regenerate from even that. 

Hell, they might as well do just that.    All Gotenks has to do is whistle up some more exploding ghosts.   Piccolo asks him if he can, but Gotenks decides to play around some more, and pretends that he’s all out of power.

So that’s the ballgame.   If Gotenks is already tapped out, then there’s no one left who can fight Buu, who isn’t going to just stand around and wait for Goten and Trunks to recover and fuse again for another round.

Case in point, Buu snares Gotenks with his head tentacle and starts swinging him around like a rag doll. 

And that gets Gotenks fired up.     Fired up enough, to use his ultimate move.  Z stands for the end, but not--

Wait, what?

So yeah, Piccolo just destroyed the doorway to the outside world.  Look at how smug this guy is.   Buu doesn’t understand at first, so Piccolo explains it to him.   He’s stuck here now.  Strong as he is, that door was the only way out, and now it’s gone.   Threre’s nothing to stop Buu from killing Piccolo and Gotenks, but if he does, he’ll still be trapped here for all eternity.

Gotenks and Buu don’t take it very well. 

[knightofbalance-13]

https://queenypie.tumblr.com/post/178782465728/how-not-to-write-yang

Here’s a deal for you: you stop mentioning Miles, I’ll stop doing this.

I decided to watch the last 1/3rd of volume 5 to try and grasp how truly disappointing the finale really was. Needless to say, even burying my expectations, I was shook by how awful it was.

I’ve caught you lying in all your posts on RWBY. You bitching about the finale is more evidence it was good than bad at this point.

With that said, this post will focus on Yang and Build up + Payof

Spoiler alert: They just vomit up what Dudeblade says and never talk about payoff until the final paragraph.

Of all of the characters to suffer from Miles’ Chronic inability to both build something up and have that same thing pay-off-

Between Red Vs. Blue that builds up Church degrading due to being an AI fragment and paying off in the most memorable ending to an arc the series has had, let alone the build with General Kimball being so openly and irrationally hostile to Republic of Chorus and paying off with a deconstruction of how people view each other in conflicts (all of this done BEFORE RWBY mind you)

And Camp Camp where there is a three season long build up of David’s worship of the Camp Camp’s founder and paying off with him having his adoration in the founder crushed alongside having built up Max’s cynicism for two seasons ending with the reveal that his parents never cared about him so he had a very GOOD reason to be cynical.

And Nomad Of Nowehre where there is an entire season f build up with how the Nomad just running and running from everyone only makes his situation worse and makes the people he cares about leave him which pays off with him finally fighting back and defeating both of his major opponents in the first season.-

If that issue even exists which, considering your history of editing out information and lyinbg just to create issues that don’t exist, it may not:

It’s probably KERRY’S issue, not MILES.

You know Kerry, the OTHER guy who writes for RWBY except he’s the DIRECTOR of the show so writing mistakes would be his fault even more so.

Or are you blaming Miles because he’s a widely hated guy for no reason and Kerry would just push you away?

Yang gets it the worst.

No, that would be Jaune. The guy whose built up as an important character with Monty then gets sidelined for Volume 3, has all his development funneled into Ruby in Volume 4 and gets less screentime, less lines and less focus than ILLA in Volume 5.

Huh, Miles also hates writing Jaune, mostly because you people won’t stop harassing him.

Funny how that works.

Ruby usually doesn’t get anything period, with the exception of the Silver Eyes which had basically two lines of introduction in volume 1 and have had two separate pay offs.

Which are....what exactly? Oh right, clarification is your kryptonite because making things vague makes it harder to disprove.

Weiss has had a family arc with good build up and a weak sauce pay off (but it was something).

How do you have a payoff for an ONGOING arc?

Blake has awful build up, because the white fang are a singularity point of failure, and even worse pay off, but she at least both.

And you completely failed at it so it’s more like RWDE’s the singular point of failure.

After going through an arc where the show tells Yang she’s incompetent -you be the judge on whether that’s accurate or insultingly wrong- 

Being FLAWED does not make one INCOMPETENT. You can be competent AND flawed at the same damn time.

For fuck’s sake, come back when the show treats the idea of Yang fighting as a joke like it does Jaune.

for using her rage ability and losing to people with far greater experience, you’d think the show would have the decency to at least have her refight those same people and get back at them.

Because it’s not like one of those character is gone (Neo), one of them has no way to even meet Yang again (Neon), one of them is the villain of a DIFFERENT CHARACTER (Adam) or that she HAS fought them, it just wasn’t focused on (Mercury).

But no, Yang has only thus far had a chance to fight Mercury again, and most of that was off screen before she just had to run to the plot.

Not like Raven is more important, more substantial and more emotional to Yang than Mercury and thus having THEM have a conflict is just better writing-Oh wait...

Also, Mercury doesn’t fit that critera. Yang won against him. A thrown fight yeah but your critera doesn’t fit. If you’re gonna be anal about this, so will I.

No rematch with Neo, Adam is no longer worth a rematch, and neither is Mercury after getting headbutted.

because durr pacing, what is that?

After being beat down by every villain like she’s the town bike

She lost twice, get over it. Fucking Weiss, Blake and Ruby have had a worse track records, let alone Jaune.

having her arm sliced off and having PTSD from the event

*points to the rest of the cast* They all have PTSD too. 

and having a best friend leave her and sending Yang to her lowest point

Really the only thing unique here is Yang losing an arm. And uh, according to RWDE standards: That’s nothing special.

what’s the payoff?

Nothing like what you’re gonna say next?

Yang gets insulted by her dad and told a tone-deaf story from Oobleck and Port and then just gets over her current funk.

A. So we’re gonna ignore how she acted in the Volume 3 finale being depressed and junk? You know, THE ACTUAL PAYOFF?

B. ‘tone-deaf’ says the person overlooking how Yang tries to talk down to her twice widowoed, numerous abandoned father about loss.

C. So we’re gonna ignore how she acts in Volume 4 Episode 9?

Oh, D. So jokes are serious now? okay, I’ll remember that when you joke about killing Miles.

Yang puts on the robot arm and the whole hesitancy to use it just vanishes. 

Because durr, I no understand basic human psychology like fear of change.

Yang spars with Tai and gets told to keep a cooler head. This alone lets her fight on par with villains who previously acted like she was leagues below them, despite now having trained barely any after a long period of doing nothing.

Because it’s not like the reason WHY Yang lost those TWO times was because of her anger issues aznd that was what was holding her?

because solving your issues...doesn’t solve your issues...

Or maybe you’re a liar.

Yang gets her arm sliced off by Adam, and not only does she not fight him, Blake manages to take Adam out with a move that he should be well aware of given their interaction in V3, and a smack to the back of the noggin.

Because not like Adam is not only BLAKE’S villain but Adam kind of reflects Yang so he has similar issues.

Also what about their interactions would show he expected that? That time where he fell for the EXACT SAME TRICK?

Pick just one of these four and with a little brain power you could come with an idea that has infinitely better payoff.

Self destruct in 3...2...1-

How about Tai give Yang a motivation speech

You mean what happened in canon no less than TWO times?

or Port give an actually heartfelt story,

You mean what he did in canon?

or Yang struggling to get used to the arm before doing crazy tricks in volume 5

You mean ignore all the training she did in Volume 4? The MONTHS of training?

or Yang running off to confront Adam before jumping in to help Ruby and Co like Blake does?

You mean leave someone, probably her sister, to fight the trained killer while she goes off into the courtyard to fight someone she didn’t know was there and get dogpiled and probably killed all WITHOUT the excuses Blake had (like not knowing about Ruby and the others as well as focusing on stopping Adam long with OUTNUMBERING him?)

Anytime you build up suspense for anything, it needs to have a pay-off.

You’re right but the thing is-

You completely ignore anything that makes RWBY function. As shown above, you listed two things that ALREADY HAPPENED and another two that would have contradicted the writing already, one of which would require Fairy Tail levels of plot armor to survive.

So why should anyone listen to you?

Look at the Karate Kid: the main character gets his ass kicked, gets trained by a martial artist, and then comes back to defeat the people who wronged him.

Yeah and if this happened in RWBY, you’d ask ‘why didn’t he fight the guy who wronged him?’ It’s not the writer’s fault you ignore facts.

There’s a problem, there’s build-up to a solution, and then there’s the pay-off. Yang in this situation would be Daniel if he got beaten up, trained my Mr. Miyagi, and then just went off to study abroad.

Except this is more like you watched the Karate Kid and then walked out of the theater half way through the movie and complained that it didn’t happen.

You say you’re gonna make more of these but what’s the point? We have enough liars to make another Senate and all you’re doing is vomiting up what Dudeblade has said.

You have no point in making these. There is no way anyone will listen to you aside from people who already agree with you and they can just listen to other people for that. Unless you’re doing this to try and control people but again, you’re just another brick in the wall. 

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S6 Watchthrough Episodes 18-21

Starship Mine: While at a banquet, the Enterprise gets overtaken/de-powered with the only one still on-board being Picard. The crew is stuck on the surface and gets taken, hostage. So… it was fine. It seems like they really wanted to make a Picard-centric action episode. I guess it worked, but there wasn’t much to get invested in. I like how badass Picard was, but that’s really all it is. No real plot or anything is interesting to keep my interest. There were some fun bits like the entire cold opening, Worf getting himself excused from the banquet and Geordi missing his chance, Data learning small talk, Picard being a horseback lover, and the whole banquet and interaction with Hutchinson feel exactly like what I go through at family gatherings. Also felt like Picard was more… ruthless than normal? I guess the situation kind of explains it, but still. Also , I guess he learned the Vulcan Verve Punch from the Sarek mind-meld… and he does it on the actor who plays a Vulcan character in Voyager. Welp. Honestly there’s not much to say about this one. if you want a nice little romp with Picard vs a group of thieves onboard a powered-down Enterprise that you can just sit back and enjoy, this is the one for you. But that’s about all that I can say about it. 2.5/5.

Lessons: Oh joy, another ‘main charcter gets a romantic interest that isn’t going to last the epiode’ plot. Okay nothing against romantic plots and maybe this is my demisexuality talking, but do we have to do this plot ALLthe time when we know it’s not gonna last?! Romance ain’t the only relationshipt hat exists, just saying. Anyways, this time we have Picard form a relationship with a scientist/pianist named Nella. So… to my surprise, they actually follow-up on The Inner Light. Picard’s been shown with the flute he got in that episode before this (A Fistful of Datas for example), but this is the first time they bring the episode up as a plot point. It would be hard for Picard to pursue a relationship again after that and I’m glad that they adressed it. Despite what I said in the first three sentences, I kinda liked Picard and Nella. Maybe I’m just a sucker who gets easily swayed by music and just want Picard to be happy, but it’s mutual, there’s no stupid/forced stuff, and actually explores Picard’s feelings and worries on how it would affect his ability as a captain. IDK, there’s just something to it that makes it feel more genuine that any of the other live interest episodes. In the end, the relationship doesn’t last, but it’s because of the two’s careers. Not Nella turning out to be evil or being killed (which it looked like they were gonna do but they psyched us out, Thank God), not Picard being creepy or entitled, or anything like that. It ends on perfectly amicible terms with both being perfectly understanding. It was just nice. Rushed, but I’m used to that at this point and I am a romantic at heart (well… depeding on how it’s doen and the pairing anyways). Again I’m tired of these plots but I wll give it props when they get it right, and they got it right. 3.5/5.

The Chase: Picard’s old mentor is onboard… too bad he dies roughly 15 minutes in. Picard decides to complete his mentor’s work by any means necessary. Thus, the chase is on. I’m gonna be honest, I zoned out on this one until the ending. The crew discovers some kind of program and needs the missing fragments, but the Klingons, Cardassians, and Romulans also get interested. Tensions happen. So what does the program reveal once they get it pieced together? Apparently humanoid species all come from the same species and this was all a test to unite them all. Okay… I know nothing about evolution or genetics… but it seems like a stretch to buy this explanation. But again, I don’t understand those fields so who am I to judge? I also don’t like how it ends with aside from at least one Romulan, all the species disregard the message completely. I guess it is realistic that they wouldn’t become buddy-buddy just because of this, but it kind of makes the whole thing feel like it was all for nothing. Also, feels like they packed way too much into one episode. This would have worked great in a more ongoing plot spanning multiple episodes, something that TNG doesn’t really do. I liked seeing more of Picard’s archeologist side though and the strain between him and his mentor. He outright throws away his Starfleet obligations, which in the past he’d remain a stickler for no matter the reason, aside to complete his work. It was fine, but I just didn’t feel all that invested. 2.5/5.

Frame of Mind: Riker is losing it. He’s playing the lead in a play by Crusher essentially about being driven insane when he starts having headaches and different responses than usual. It gets chalked up to the play… when after it, he suddenly wakes up in a confined space with an alien psychiatrist. Just like in the play… except the psychiatrist tells him that his entire life, his Starfleet career, everything that Riker remembered was all a delusion. Yeah… this is one of those episodes. We have what is essentially a psychological thriller with Riker unable to tell what’s real and what’s not. Even as the audience we know that Riker’s not crazy and something is going on, you can still feel the confusion and horror that Riker is feeling and how he’s utterly losing it. Just when something looks real, the reality shifts again and he’s convinced that he’s delusional. Is he hallucinating? What is the reality and what is the delusion? I love these kinds of mental/psychological episodes. Poor Riker didn’t deserve any of this, but damn it was effectively done. I’m not gonna give away the ending, though needless to say Riker gets back to sanity but I don’t wanna give away the big twist to how he gets there. Really enjoyed this one~ 4/5.

[satireknight]

TMNT S02E03 - It Came From Beneath The Sewers

Which is not technically true, since what we see comes from the sewers, and not really any lower down. But “beneath” sounds so much more sinister, doesn’t it?

So the Turtles are back to searching for the next part of the Eye of Sarnath, and presumably hoping that this one doesn’t have horrifying near-fatal effects on them.

What kind of front seat holds five people?!

Donatello’s tracker makes R2-D2 noises at him, which apparently means something. They head off to a relatively deserted area... which has a carnival in it. I guess it had to fall somewhere, so why not a carnival?

April is horrified that they plan to just stroll in, reminding them that they’re turtles and thus likely to attract attention. But they seem pretty relaxed about the idea, pointing out that they can just claim to be part of the sideshow or something like that.

“Is there a carnival dress code?” Well, not being practically nude is probably expected.

I have to wonder, whose idea were the monogrammed belts? Did Splinter have trouble telling them apart, or is it just the easiest way to keep their stuff from getting mixed up?

Meanwhile, Krang has finally gotten sick of his answering machine being filled up with whiny demands, and agrees to help Shredder find the next fragment of the crystal. Also, Baxter threw the first one away, somehow. I’d suggest he did it passive-aggressively, but someone who addresses Shredder as “master” all the time probably doesn’t have enough spine.

And despite never having seen the crystalline tracker or the Eye of Sarnath, Krang is able to zero in on the energy... in the Caribbean.

“I’ve located it, in an area outside the city!” Outside “the city.” Gotta love that even the alien brain-creature has that New Yorker state of mind, where there’s just New York and then the Mad Max wasteland outside it. Apparently Shredder already knows that that’s where a carnival is located, which raises the question of whether he had been there before.

So the Turtles and April sort of wander around, with Michelangelo winning prizes and Donatello getting fleas. But the crystal is found first by two small boys who hope they can trade it for more ride tickets. The Turtles are a bit offput by the idea of mugging small children, but they’re dragged off by the carnival boss who mistakes them for clowns. No, I’m not sure why.

April tries to bribe the kids, but they won’t pony up for only three bucks and/or a credit card. Does she think they have a card reader?

If you need proof that Shredder’s really come down in the world, the mighty and deadly ninja is about to mug two small children.

So after the Turtles are railroaded into doing a clown act (yes, really), 

April milks Michelangelo of all the cash he has apparently been keeping in his invisible pockets. But she’s too late, because Shredder has managed to grab the crystal, get kicked in the shin by one of the kids, and sent the thing flying only for it to be grabbed by Baxter.

“You must admit, I do have soft hands.” Did anyone dispute that?

But things get icky when they head back to their hideout to analyze the crystal, and it bumps into Shredder’s foot, which has some kind of slime on it. The slime is apparently some kind of Dimension X plant matter that Shredder stepped in when.... he was inside the Technodrome. And he decides that a giant plant will obviously be a great way to kill the Turtles, because... uh... Little Shop of Horrors.

The Turtles are kind of upset that they bumbled the whole getting-fragments thing twice in a row, especially since the batteries are running out in the crystal tracking device.

If you need proof Donatello’s a nerd, look how deliriously happy he is at the sight of alien batteries.

Just then giant green vine-tentacles come breaking through the wall, and immediately grabs Michelangelo, who seems to be the natural target for tentacles in this series.

As if it weren’t weird enough, the plant says “ow” when cut, before grabbing April and Raphael, and finally withdrawing after too many nasty jabs. Donatello figures out that it’s not from this planet... which is a bit of a Captain Obvious, since last time I checked killer vine-tentacle plants don’t exist here.

Also, where did Splinter go?

April, having nearly been dragged off by a killer plant, whines because they’re leaving her behind. Maybe they want to keep their rescuing to a minimum? So she ends up in her apartment with her friend Irma, who is thinking of (what else?) men. Wait, apartment? She must have gotten another one incredibly fast; this is only the third episode of season 2, and season 1 featured her apartment being devoured by Mousers. 

Anyway, it’s a note supposedly by the Turtles, with an address on it. A smarter person would wonder why they didn’t just call her, like they said they would, or would verify that they left a note. April just charges out the door without wondering if this might be a trap.

Spoiler: it’s a trap, and Baxter and Shredder are waiting there for her. So Shredder calls the Turtles to notify them that he’s kidnapped her, because apparently the incredibly fast-growing and dangerous alien plant isn’t filling the entire sewer system fast enough.

“That’s April all right. I recognize her mumbles.” This is only the eighth episode, and already they’re used to her being in peril.

Since Michelangelo has a one-track mind, he’s hungry when they get there, much to the disgust of the others. 

But that gives them the idea to disguise themselves as pizza delivery boys, because apparently they have those costumes AND pizzas just rattling around in their van.

“It’s four green pizza delivery boys.”

“I don’t remember ordering any pizzas, especially green ones.”

Gotta love confusing grammar. 

Also, does that mean that people CAN see that they’re green when they’re in disguise, and they just don’t assume there’s anything weird about that unless they specifically know that they’re turtles?

So the Turtles burst in and start assaulting Baxter and Shredder with weapons and pizzas, and of course free April. In about five seconds, the bad guys flee the scene.

So... what was the point exactly of this little cul-de-sac? Capturing April didn’t actually serve any purpose beyond producing another fight scene and filling up a few more minutes. And it will never really be referenced again. Did the episode run a little short, and they put this in to fill it out?

Anyway, the TV happens to be on and they see the monster plant sprouting from the street and causing mayhem.

The plant is apparently big and strong enough to wave around multiple cars at the same time, which means it requires FRICKIN LASER BEAMS just to drive down the street.

But it’s nearing time for the boss battle to ensue, which means that the Turtles using FRICKIN LASER BEAMS attracts the attention of the main plant. Which kinda looks like a multi-eyed hand puppet.

It also starts eating their car, which raises interesting questions about what its roots are feeding off of, since plants generally get nutrients that way. They attack it, but get an embarrassing smackdown before the thing retreats back underground.

They just sort of abandon their van in the alley, and jump down to ask Splinter what they should do. Splinter’s advice is the same kind of wisdom that anybody who’s ever weeded can give you: tackle the root of the problem, very literally. Fortunately the plant is.... bleeding, so they can track it that way.

And it leads to... a solid brick wall.

Um, does that mean the plant broke through, went through the wall, and then replaced all the bricks exactly as they were before? Because otherwise I’m not sure how the trail can lead there.

But it’s all irrelevant anyway because it bursts through again.

It drags off Donatello, which means that it’s time for the others to break out their secret weapon:  drag!

Not kidding. They actually put Michelangelo in a lady plant getup, which he hates of course. Today they’d be taking so many pictures so they could always remember this delightful occasion.

And the plant drops Donatello because it’s.... um... I think it’s meant to be horny. Which isn’t really how plants work; they just sort of have pollen and male-female parts, which insects and wind handle for them. Of course, this IS from an alien world, and technically all it needs to do to count as a plant is to photosynthesize, so... I guess the idea of a horny plant isn’t technically impossible, just very unlikely.

Yeah, my expression mirrors Raphael’s.

The other three tease Michelangelo for the remaining three seconds that he can stand being groped by a horny plant that is making kissy lips at him. Then he busts out the nunchucks and starts beating the plant with them.

Leonardo then brainstorms Splinter’s advice in a veeeeery literal way by stabbing the plant in its... stem. It’s meant to be the root, but roots tend to be underground. And despite being so huge, the plant fortunately is VERY sensitive and immediately shrivels down to a green slop.

So that evening, still not having the fragment, the Turtles celebrate with an all-meat pizza, and April brings them a venus flytrap apparently out of sadistic amusement.

VERDICT

Not bad at all. Not perfect, but it’s a big stronger than the last episode in that none of the characters had massive brain farts for no adequately explained reason... well, except maybe Baxter, but I remain unconvinced that he didn’t do that on purpose.

Anyway, it starts off a bit slow’n’silly with the whole carnival focus, and the kids who talk a lot and appear a lot for about two scenes before vanishing completely. It really kicks into gear when the whole giant plant story starts moving, especially since it provides some interesting insights into how the Eye of Sarnath is supposed to work. But I guess it was too short to actually fill out the episode, hence the April-gets-captured plot cul-de-sac.

And it has a monster-movie focus to match the monster-movie title, even with one scene of Michelangelo exclaiming that he saw this in a movie once (which wouldn’t surprise me, given that there are actually a lot of sci-fi references in this series). It’s not complicated, focusing instead on just being pretty entertaining with the straightforward story it has.

It is interesting, though, that the Turtles consistently fail at getting the fragments despite having a tracking device that exists to do nothing else. It’s also interesting that Shredder doesn’t try to use this latest fragment more than once, since presumably the crystal fragment would also create killer plant monsters with Earth plants. Giant killer rafflesias? 

GRADE: B

[froggybangbang]

@ashes-and-dust​ tagged me (eons ago) in a thing that starts personal and then degenerates into tv show stuff?? and... well here it is

1.) Why did you choose your URL?

You must all know this by now, lol. Okay so 1-I’m French Canadian, a popular insult for us by the English is “Frog” and I highly believe in claiming back insults.2-The first online url I had (well second. I had wolves has my special interest back when I was 12 so ‘wolfy136′ was the first, fleeting url I got) was after I joinned the HP fandom, with my favourite character, thus Lunard136/Lunard1 was born (that’s moony. my wolf special interest faded in the background but it’s still there to show lol). I started going to other websites than HP ones and I was starting to feel like that url wasn’t good for those so I thought long and hard about something I could be me and not fandom related so I wouldn’t have to change it again (because change is good but I hate it) and I came up with “Froggy”. Only to find it was used already. I was tired of the old 136 so I decided to had something about me in the url, something about my temper (I’m definitely a fire sign) and added the “bangbang” because I catch like a barrel of powder. (you dirty mind you if you thought I’d use it as a sex reference! Shame on you! except lol yeah I knew how it sounded and I was fine with letting people who don’t know me think I’m a nympho. what better way to hide I’m not really all that interested in sex, which is weird and not normal, right? right.)

2.) What’s your middle name?

Very few Quebecois have one, those who are afflicted by the old tradition, weather because their parents are religious or because it’s a tradition and nobody questions it have (for girls) Mary Godmother’sName FirstName LastName (for boys) Joseph Godfather’sName FirstName LastName. That’s the format and absolutely nobody goes by the first two to the point that my passport doesn’t even show them because I was told not to put them in if I’m not using them (???!!!? but okay!) anyway my are Mary Diane Kristine LastName

3.) If you could own a fairytale/fictional pet, what would it be?

I’d love a tiny dragon? I’m pretty sure I said “I want a X now!” a few onth ago but I can’t remember what it was... But honestly if I can, in my life, befriend a corvid that’s like. the dream goal. It has been for ever.

4.) Favourite colour?

hmmm I really love orange. every shade but especially the dark burnt one. I also like dark green, dark blue, dark teal and dark purple a lot? I’ll go with orange

5.) Favourite song?

That’s.... not something I can answer. Honestly how can you pick one? IDK I really love In Hell I’ll be in Good Company these days? I really love Phillip Glass’ Violin Concerto No.1 2nd Movement if you prefer no voice. Also Dream Fragment from the Chrono Cross OST because I’m a sucker for music box.

Here are a few of my Spotify playlist, for those interested.

A Little Bit of Everything is pretty much all the songs I like and remember to put on spotify (if spotify has them. They lack in Quebecois music)

Music Rec is songs that you might not know about that exist and you should listen to them, but this doesn’t get updated very often

RN is the playlist that keeps changing. My current obsessions are on that one

In the Summertime are songs for a nice warm summer day with a light breeze and a hammock (or something. maybe a few friend in the backyard and a beer.)

And Sunday Mornings is the playlist I’m listening to mainly on sunday mornings (It’s playing right now) because it fits the vibe of a sunday morning when you start your coffee and still might have an eye glued down

6.) What are your top three fandoms?

errr I’ll go with HP, 1D (*glares at @ashes-and-dust​*) and....hmm. I’m not really active in any of the others anymore. but I guess Sherlock?(though Pacific Rim or Cabin Pressure also fit third place but I think I still read more sherlock fic than I do PR or CP)

7.) Why do you enjoy Tumblr?

This hellsite is my main place for interacting with sensible human beings. I also LOVE *those* posts. you the ones where one person asks a questions/ places a random thought and then.... it just. takes a life of its own? and everyone knows them? The Guam Cookie post is one. The many Aliens finds Humans Weird also. but then there’s the smaller ones like just. They are exactly the kind of stuff I’d be saying with my (ex? maybe?)friend in Rimousky like you say something, and they add something in a deadpanned way that is bviously exagerated/insane and then you add on it and they add on it until you are at the stage that you won’t be buy mayo because, really, having to marry someone from an island so you could get away with murder is much too much effort. That’s why I love tumblr.

PICK YOUR 5 FAVORITE TV SHOWS AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS:

ugh I very rarely watch tv anymore these are hard.

1. Merlin

2. Doctor Who (until season 5/6 anyway. Moffat killed it)

3. Torchwood

4. The X-Files (haven’t seen the reboot but I’d love to!)

5. ...... Sherlock (I guess? But I still haven’t watch the last xmas special nor the last season? Moffat killed it?)

1. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN 2?

hmmmmm..... *shakes the Ponds, Martha Jones and Dona Noble in her hand to see which will get out* I’m going to go with Dona. I’m not so in your face, but I really relate with her and she had an awesome friendship with 10, not afraid to give him a good earful if he went overboard.

2. WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN 1?

Shit idk. I mean Uther and Morgana where mean shit but I loved their characters for what they were..... I’d say between Uther and Mordred? idk. 

3. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EPISODE OF 4?

Oh shit. Dude do you have any idea how many episode there is of the xfiles?? I’m going to go with the one on the boat, because that’s the one that popped into my head right now (immediately followed by that black and white one when Mulder meets the Gunmen for the first time... that CELL PHONE OMG) and any moment when Scully and Mulder have SASS going on.

4. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON OF 5?

The first season is the best without a doubt. I’ve loved the second season but in the first one the story were even more concentrated on one story per episode and it was very well thought off and they didn’t overdo it yet, which they tented to do afterwards, as well as letting more episode be one story and not following canon anymore. I’m actually sadden at my lack of consistency at following Elementary.

5. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE RELATIONSHIP IN 3?

Oh. er... Ianto/Jack. but. like. I don’t like to think about that because of children of the earth.

6. WHO IS YOUR ANTI-RELATIONSHIP IN 1?

I know it sounds weird but I really see Arthur and Gwen as bromance who agreed to marry because throne? They have a great chemistry but I just don’t buy it.

7. HOW LONG HAVE YOU WATCHED 4?

The first episode I’ve seen was on TQS with the french dubbed version of the first episode we see the guy that can dislocate every bones in his body to crawl in small places. then I got hooked and rented the VHS of the series, bought books of the series, the official magazines, unofficial biographies (my gosh is the internet cheaper) and watched every episode (at some point switching in the English version on Fridays) until Mulder got abducted. Tried to watch that season but didn’t care to not miss an episode... then I just... forgot to tune in. so that’d be since.... according to WIKI the first episodes in French were in 1994 and “squeeze” is the third one.

8. HOW DID YOU BECOME INTERESTED IN 3?

Because of Doctor Who.

9. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE ACTOR IN 2?

Grahhhhh okay I’m going to go renewed series because fhjdsahlsb and it’s still hard but I think I’ll go with David Tenant. Tough Karen Gillan is good too. Oh! fuck and John Simm fuck I forgot John Simm and Life on Mars! damn. Okay John Simm

10. WHICH SHOW DO YOU PREFER: 1, 4 OR 5?

You drive a hard bargain. I’ll go with the X-Files; 4

11. WHICH SHOW HAVE YOU SEEN MORE EPISODES OF? 1 OR 3?

as in proportionally? because I’ve see all of them, but I *think* merlin has more episodes? Though I’ve watch Torchwood more often I think?

12. IF YOU COULD BE ANYONE FROM 4, WHO WOULD YOU BE?

I’m not sure I’d like to be anyone on the x-files that sounds like a very dangerous life. although wait no not true! one of the gunmen! They have the coolest job in the series.

13. HOW WOULD YOU KILL OFF YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN 3?

*stares* Not like that. 

14. WOULD A 2/3 CROSSOVER WORK?

HAHAHA well. YES, mainly because IT IS a thing between DW and Torchwood.

15. PAIR TWO CHARACTERS IN 2 THAT WOULD MAKE AN UNLIKELY BUT STRANGELY OKAY COUPLE.

The Master and Donna? If, you know, the Master got his murdering tendencies in check. idk I’m not good at pairing people. I pick and chose those who exist in the fandom.

16. OVERALL, WHICH SHOW HAD A BETTER CAST: 3 OR 5?

Damn.... I mean Andrew Scott alone.... but then it got cringey... but I don’t particularly like Gwen but I’m pretty sure it’s not the casting..... I’ll go with Torchwood.

17. WHICH SHOW HAS A BETTER SOUNDTRACK: 1, 4 OR 5?

I do not know Merlin’s Soundtrack well enough to comment on it and I think the X-files’ is pretty lacking, but Sherlock has some very good music, the Irene piece is on of my favourite.

Blergh. I don’t want to tag because lazy. go ahead and give me the answers, though. Especially the music ones I’m always interested in finding new music!

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Gou Ep21

Ciconia? In MY Higurashi??? It’s more likely than you’d think :)

Thoughts under the cut. Also apparently Ciconia spoiler stuff because that’s the world we live in now I guess lol

It’s kinda funny how over the course of Gou thus far I’ve seen people go from ‘there’s no way this is even going to reference Umineko, people are just reading into things’ to ‘wow I can’t believe Ryukishi’s going out of his way to tie literally all of his visual novel lore together in Gou :/’. It feels weirdly vindicating to see Gou just go the whole nine yards with bringing up unprecedented levels of When They Cry Lore [tm], lol. 

I know people basically thought [or hoped] that Ryukishi was just going to be trolling people who wanted this kind of lore stuff, but I always felt like it was going to be more straightforward and sincere than that, considering that he seems to genuinely enjoy this kind of writing, and I guess I ended up being right. If anything I underestimated just how explicit he’d be with this stuff.

Considering that they tweaked Featherine’s design a bit to be more Higurashi-y, and they avoided using that name for her, I figured they’d commit to having her fit more into the existing framework of Higurashi to avoid bringing up other When They Cry lore stuff, but then she literally just has the exact same personality as Featherine and immediately started talking about Ciconia stuff, so that was unexpected, lol.

The Umineko stuff is one thing, since we’re more or less dealing with a character who came from Umineko in the first place, but the Ciconia references throw like five different wrenches into things and make this way more confusing and interesting.

At the very least, I guess it cements the idea of Satoko being a Lambda expy, if not literally Lambda herself. It’s kinda hard to tell exactly where they’re going with this, in the grand scheme of things. If we’re going full Ciconia lore with this, then it’s possible that there’s basically just one original person who’s now a brain in a jar, and they’re basically being used as a ‘template’ for characters within simulations, which all end up looking similar to each other. 

It also raises the question of what this implies about how the timelines of the different VNs intersect, if Featherine is bringing up stuff from a story set in the future, but if we go with the whole simulation theory then they probably just all exist at the same time.

And on top of all the over-arching lore stuff that’s now being raised, this episode also gets into confusing time travel logic now that Satoko’s officially starting to do her own loops, and we all have to wrap our heads around how that meshes with Rika’s own powers and her personal timeline of events.

My best interpretation of the timeline here is that after the scene at the start of this episode, Featherine directly reset the timeline to an earlier point, rather than moving Satoko to a different fragment entirely. And because of that, the Matsuribayashi fragment played out like it did originally because Satoko was just sent back to an earlier point in that timeline, and Rika didn’t have her consciousness carry over because only Satoko got sent back, so the Rika in the next loop was basically just Matsuribayashi Rika again, and things just played out exactly the same with her.

We’ll have to see how the next episode goes, but since this loop ended with both Satoko and Rika dying, I think this will be where Rika’s consciousness also starts getting sent through the loops along with Satoko, although we know that until Nekodamashi she can’t remember how she died.

I’m really curious to see if Satoko and Rika immediately get thrown into the Onidamashi loop after that, or if there’ll be a whole series of loops that we haven’t seen yet before that. Satoko’s actions in the earlier arcs seem to imply that she has knowledge of how the original question arcs went that she shouldn’t have by this point in Gou, so maybe she spends some amount of time going through the same types of loops Rika did before Onidamashi happens, but it seems like from Rika’s perspective, she goes straight from this episode’s loop to Onidamashi, since she talked to Hanyuu about how the last thing she remembered was being at St. Lucia’s in 1988, and considering how this episode went, I don’t think Satoko would have allowed any loop after this to get to that point again in the first place. So if there’s any loops that happen between this and Onidamashi, they’d have to be ones that Rika retains no memory of. Or maybe her consciousness doesn’t start getting sent to those loops until Onidamashi.

Either way, it would imply that some sort of change might happen in the mechanics of Satoko’s looping. Which I could see happening, since she clearly doesn’t just keep repeating the same Matsuribayashi loop, so maybe at some point she also starts going to different fragments instead of just resetting the same one over and over again. Or maybe she just goes back early enough in the loop to completely change how things play out, but that’d basically just be the same thing as going to a different fragment.

I still think that Satoko’s exact motives and methods throughout the earlier Gou arcs changed over time, but this episode goes a long way to show how she’s already at the point of being willing to kill Rika. But at this point she’s only done it as a way to reset a failed loop, so I don’t think she’s progressed to the point we see in Nekodamashi where she’s literally torturing Rika as a way to try and convince her to stay in the village in the first place.

With just three episodes left [as far as we know, at least], I think we’re probably going to skim over the earlier Gou arcs to explain their individual mysteries before we go back to the end of Nekodamashi and see how that confrontation played out. One way or another it’d have to be pretty fast-paced to cover four arcs worth of answers, so they might just shove the answers all into the next episode and end it by going back to Nekodamashi.

It’d be kinda anti-climactic to spend such little time going over the answers to the earlier arcs, but at this point there probably isn’t much we need to know. We now know the ‘who’ and the ‘why’ of the mystery, so all that we need to be told is the ‘how’, and I think that’s going to end up being relatively simple. At the very least, I think Satoko used the same methods in basically every arc, so just going over one set of answers would solve most of the mysteries in each arc at the same time, and the individual mysteries in each arc would take less time to go over at that point.

Even at this point I’m still not entirely sure about a lot of this, mainly since there’s still the question of how much Satoko actually knows about the pre-Matsuribayashi loops, but I think the general answer to how she did basically everything in each arc was that she just raided the Irie Clinic to steal the syringe that makes people go L5, and then she just made people go L5 in the background of each arc.

In Onidamashi, I don’t think there’s even that much to answer. She presumably ended up doing a murder suicide with Rika at the end of the arc to reset the loop, and maybe she injected Rena with the syringe, but I still think that Rena could have easily just been doing all that without any interference from Satoko. Since that was the first Gou arc [unless there were other loops between this and Onidamashi], maybe Satoko hadn’t started injecting people yet, and only started doing that in later loops. The only other real mystery in this whole arc is what happened to Takano and Tomitake, and that was probably just them fleeing the village like we ended up seeing in Nekodamashi, which is also something that they might have done without any involvement from Satoko. I guess there’s also the question of what exactly made Takano abandon her goals, but that also might not really be directly caused by Satoko. My best guess is that, on the meta level, Lambda revoked her blessing from Takano, and she got given memories of Matsuribayashi, which ended up making her lose certainty in her goals, and choose to just give up and flee the village.

Watadamashi is still kinda confusing, but this might also just boil down to her having injected either Shion or Mion to trigger the same general scenario as Watanagashi. I don’t think it was her that killed Rika, but I think her suspicion of Keiichi was probably an act. Now that we know that by that point she was in the middle of her loops and knew exactly what was going on, I don’t think she’d genuinely suspect him of that, or that she’d even care that much. The Takano and Tomitake situation was probably just the same as all the other arcs, with them fleeing the village. I think a lot of the background stuff was basically just the same as Watanagashi, except for Mion ending up as more of a culprit this time. My biggest question about this arc is probably just why Satoko even bothered going to the Sonozaki estate at the end of the arc. Now that we know more about her motives and her level of meta knowledge, it just seems really weird that she’d bother doing that. If anything you’d think that she’d just immediately kill herself once she found out about Rika dying, since she’d have no reason to continue the loop after that.

I still like the idea that she ended up making Shion into her accomplice to help carry out a lot of the stuff she did in each loop, so that might play into the whole mystery of this arc. And maybe it’d explain why she bothered going to the Sonozaki estate.

Tataridamashi is still kinda strange and confusing, and more than the other arcs I think it really depends on how much she knows about the pre-Matsuribayashi loops. The whole situation of whether or not she was being abused by Teppei in this arc, and how much of an act she was putting on, is still pretty unclear. The stuff with Ooishi at the end of the arc is also still kinda strange. Maybe it was all intentional and she had basically just given up on that loop and used him to kill Rika, but I’m not sure. I kinda like the idea I’ve seen that maybe she was tempted by the idea of just letting the Tataridamashi timeline continue, and that she had genuinely come to some sort of peace with the events of that loop, but then Ooishi went crazy and forced her to reset the loop. Either way I feel like this arc is a turning point of some kind for Satoko, since it’s immediately after this point that her methods seem to get much more desperate and violent.

So I think that maybe she had basically ‘given up’ in Tataridamashi and was willing to just stay in that loop and let it play out, but Featherine decided that would be boring so she forced the game to keep going by making Ooishi go on a murder spree. And then Satoko realized that she’s just as trapped in this loop as Rika is, and is going to keep going through pain and misery until she can properly succeed with her original goal, and so she becomes much more desperate after that point. There’s also the fact that this is the point where Rika is also given the ability to remember her loops, so that might be another aspect of Featherine meddling with the game in order to keep it interesting.

I get the feeling that Satoko maybe ends up having another meeting with Featherine around this point, where she gets it spelled out to her face that she’s going to have to keep looping until Rika ‘loses’, whether Satoko likes it or not. For one thing, Satoko’s talked about how she became Oyashiro-sama’s new miko, but that didn’t really come up in this episode, so maybe she has another meeting with Featherine later on where that comes up. It’d also make sense if maybe Satoko gets told by Featherine at this point that Rika is also a looper who remembers each timeline, since the way that Satoko straight up starts murdering and torturing Rika seems kinda counter-intuitive to the idea of making her choose to stay in the village, but it’d make sense if she learned about Rika’s looping and changed her methods to ‘I’m going to torture her across multiple loops so that eventually I’ll get to a loop where she’s already chosen to give up and stay in the village’.

Maybe she could have found out about Rika’s looping as early as the end of Onidamashi, though, if Rika talked about it before the murder suicide. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t.

Either way, even once we eventually get back to Nekodamashi, I’m not really sure if we’ll get a happy ending or not, lol. It feels like the only way for this to end peacefully is for Satoko to just give up, but like I said above, I think Featherine is actively interfering with things, and is refusing to let Satoko give up before she wins. So I just don’t see that happening. This is also really feeling like an origin story for both Lambda and Bern, and their violently possessive relationship, so I kinda feel like the story might just commit to them going off the deep end and embracing their unhealthy desires. I wouldn’t be surprised at this point if Featherine gives Satoko the ability to become a witch in order to achieve her goal of staying with Rika forever.

There’s also the hanging plot thread of Satoshi still being alive, but with how singularly focused Satoko seems to be with Rika, I’m not even sure if finding out that he’s alive would go much to sway her if she can’t also get Rika to stay in the village. And, again, there’s the whole potential mess of Featherine wanting to be entertained no matter what.

Of course we also might get a whole second season or something, which would open up it’s own whole list of possibilities, lol. I’m not really convinced about it yet, and I’d rather keep my expectations low, but it really does feel more and more like there’s just not enough time to wrap everything up in just three more episodes. I know they can probably go over the answers for the previous arcs in like one more episode, but this whole extended flashback has been going on for way longer than I expected, and we haven’t even gotten to Onidamashi yet. I know that once we get back to Nekodamashi there might not even be that much more that needs to be done to wrap up the story now that everything’s laid out on the table, but it might still just feel kinda rushed to only get one or two episodes of content after that.

Though on the other hand, even though everything with Satoko is being laid out in a way that makes it feel like there’s not much more we need to do to wrap up the story, it’s possible that the story will just shift to having Featherine herself be the new antagonist, so to say. If I’m right about her not being willing to let Satoko just give up and make peace with Rika, then they might have to work together to stop her, but who knows. Maybe she’ll be willing to go along with a happy ending this time.

There’s also still the possibility that this is setting up for some sort of new Umineko anime, which at this point might have it’s own original story that continues on from Gou’s story in addition to Umineko’s, so that might sort of serve as a sequel to Gou in it’s own way, depending on how they spin it. It still feels like a pipe dream, but considering how bluntly this episode threw out references to WTC lore, it’s possible that this is going to be some kind of multi-part cinematic universe thing that’s going to go all the way with tying everything together across multiple new anime projects.

Also, before I forget, we finally got the visuals for the new ED, and I was right about them choosing to wait until now to show it because it had spoilers, lol. They’re more minor than I expected, but it still spoils the chandelier scene, and I guess it also shows Featherine, but in a very subtle way.

Either way, I think the visuals they went with were extremely good. I’m not sure if I like the song itself more than the first ED song since they’re both great, but I definitely prefer the visuals for this one over the visuals for the first ED. The art for them is both great, and they’re done by the same artist so they’re not that different to begin with, but the visuals for this ED feel way more dynamic in terms of their composition and editing. The first ED’s visuals were basically just a series of still images with some slow panning effects, but this one had way more complex images that were designed to feel like 3D panoramas being spun about. So there’s just a whole lot more going on with this one, so I really liked it.

Anyway, now I’m gonna go back to being sad that Ciconia Phase 2 got delayed, lol.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Gou Ep7

At first I was just gonna wait until the current arc ended to do another post, but this episode ended up being more interesting than I expected, so now I wanna write about it before we see exactly how this arc ends, lol.

Thoughts under the cut.

Technically the plot of Watadamashi still hasn’t diverged significantly from how Watanagashi went, and it could still end in basically the same way, but this episode still had a whole lot of changes and additions, which are raising a whole lot of new questions I wasn’t really expecting.

For one thing, the Saiguden scene played out pretty similarly to the VN, but with some notable changes. I thought that maybe they’d have Takano bring up her theory about the virus, but her whole explanation of village’s history was pretty much 1:1 with the VN, as far as I remember. But a lot of what was going on in the scene aside from that played out differently, like how Shion accidentally knocked the Oyashiro-sama statue’s head off, revealing that it was apparently already broken in half. We also got a peek at the hidden slot inside the statue, which from what I’ve read is meant to be where a sword is kept.

I don’t think the statue’s ever gotten broken like this in basically any iteration of the story, aside from the detail of Satoko having broken the statue’s arm some time before the story began, so this is a really weird change, and I have no idea what to make of it. I’m guessing that it’s there to set up the idea that someone had already broken into the Saiguden and stolen the sword, while busting open the statue’s head in the process and then putting in back together again afterward.

I know that the sword’s apparently related to Hanyuu and her whole backstory, but other than that I have no real idea about who might have decided to steal it, let alone why they’d do that. For one thing, if someone knew about it in the first place before going to steal it, you’d assume that they’d know a cleaner way to get the sword than just breaking open the statue’s head and then putting it back into place and hoping nobody notices, lol. I guess it’s possible it was designed so that the only way to get the sword out is to straight up break the statue’s head, but I dunno.

I’m guessing that neither Takano or Shion are involved with it, since I’m pretty sure this is probably Takano’s first time being inside the Saiguden [and I still think that she’s a bit of a red herring], and Shion was the one who knocked the statue’s head off, and I doubt she would have done that if she knew it was broken, since that’d just be asking for people to get suspicious of her. So I’m guessing that it’s someone unrelated to all of them who took it.

My best guesses are probably that either Rika or Hanyuu took it, but I’m not sure. They’re at least the first people I assume would know about it in the first place. It sounds like the sort of thing that’s probably a well-kept secret by the Furude family, so it’s hard to imagine anyone else except maybe the other big families in the village knowing about it. Also there’s the fact that Hanyuu only physically manifested in one fragment thus far, and seems distinctly absent from things in Gou, so I think she wouldn’t have been able to get it in the first place, so I’d lean towards guessing that Rika got it.

My main question at this point is if this is something completely unique to the new Gou arcs, or if we just never saw it until now. I’m assuming for now that it’s something new, since we also saw that the statue’s arm wasn’t broken like it was before, which makes me think that the statue itself might be a different one this time around. Or maybe whoever’s in charge of the new game board basically rewrote the part where Satoko got it broken.

Basically it’s one big question mark for me at this point, but they put enough emphasis on it that I think it’s gonna be a big deal later on, lol. 

And on the note of Hanyuu being even less involved in these arcs than she used to be, there were no indications of her being at the Saiguden getting angry at everyone for breaking into it. Which might not be a big deal in and of itself, but it does contribute to the way that Shion ended up seeming way more calm and collected during and after the festival compared to how she was in the VN, while this time around it’s Keiichi who seems to be really getting freaked out by everything.

Then there’s the new mystery of how, at least going by what Shion said later on to Keiichi, apparently Takano and Tomitake stole a staff van from the festival and fled from the village. Which may or may not have something to do with how Takano decided to go back into the Saiguden on her own after the break-in to ‘take some pictures’, which I think is a new addition. It also came across like after she came back, she was going out of her way to try and get Shion and Keiichi to go away, so I wouldn’t be surprised if something she saw in there made her decide to leave then and there.

Though tbh I don’t exactly trust what Shion said about it. For one thing, I’m still not sure if it was even Shion on the phone, or if it was Mion pretending to be her, lol. The whole conversation did kinda come across like it was Mion trying to get Keiichi to confirm what happened at the Saiguden. I know she brought up the idea of the statue being ‘beheaded’, but if anything it’d be weird for Shion to be hung up on that, since Tomitake had pointed out to her that the statue seemed to have already been broken before they got there. 

It’s also worth noting that it’s only Shion at the moment who’s said anything about Takano and Tomitake fleeing in a stolen van. I think Oishi just said that they’d gone missing. We also didn’t hear anything about the idea of them stealing a van to flee the village in Onidamashi, but maybe things just played out differently there.

At the moment I think that either Shion or Mion killed them, and then made up the story about them fleeing the village to cover it up to Keiichi.

I also noticed that Mion asked Keiichi at the festival if he’d seen Shion, Takano, and Tomitake, instead of just Shion, and that she didn’t say anything about it to him at school afterward. Unlike how in the VN Mion just asks him about Shion, and then Shion disguised as Mion asks him the same question at school. So for one thing that makes me wonder if Mion was already suspicious of Takano and Tomitake by that point, and it also makes me wonder if maybe Shion hasn’t started impersonating Mion yet. If anything, I feel like that scene might have basically been replaced by how Shion had that weird phone call with Keiichi where she seemed to mostly be getting him to go over what happened at the Saiguden. So at this point I’m wondering if things are playing out in the opposite direction this time, with Mion impersonating Shion.

If it turns out that Mion is more or less the killer this time around, I still think it’s less to do with the virus, and probably more to do with her acting as the heir to the yakuza. It’s possible that Mion found out about the Saiguden thing, and ended up being forced to get rid of them, for one reason or another.

I know that one of the fundamental rules originally was that the Sonozakis were never actually responsible for anything and just took the blame for stuff, but Gou’s already broken one of the rules by messing with Tomitake and Takano’s fates, so maybe this is a version of events where the Sonozakis are actually involved in this year’s curse.

I’m still kinda wary of the whole idea of Mion ever being the killer in an arc, but I think that’s where this is going at this point. And it’d at least be a bit more interesting than having this arc basically just be Watanagashi but with some minor changes, compared to how differently the last arc played out compared to the VN.

I think that the whole timeline of things after the festival also got quickened a lot, with basically everything happening over the course of just one night, instead of one or two days in the VN. Which might just be a pacing change, but it might imply that what’s going on behind the scenes isn’t actually the same as what was going on in the VN, even though the same things seem to be happening on the surface.

One hole in my theory of Mion being the killer is that I don’t think she has any real reason to kill Kimiyoshi, compared to Shion, but it might have to do with how he was the one that changed the locks on the Saiguden to make it easier to enter.

Then there’s the big scene at the end of the episode where Rika goes full on Bernkastel mode at Keiichi because she’s apparently just given up on this whole loop now that things seem to be heading straight in the direction of Watanagashi’s ending. I don’t think anyone saw that whole scene coming, lol.

I think that maybe Keiichi was just mildly hallucinating and making her seem more creepy and malicious than she was actually being in that scene, but she still seems to be pretty resigned to how this arc’s turning out. I wouldn’t be surprised if she really does just kill herself in the next episode, considering that this whole scenario is one that always seems to end in either torture or suicide for her. I still don’t think she killed herself in Onidamashi, but if she genuinely believes that this is the Watanagashi scenario, then she’d have a pretty good reason for killing herself before she can get tortured to death.

I know people have been wondering if she doesn’t actually realize that Takano’s the villain and never actually died [at least in the original arcs], but I think she was just indirectly referring to how Takano’s body double corpse is usually discovered around this point. What she said about them mostly just makes me think that she’s still assuming that Tomitake dies after the festival, and Takano sets up her body double and goes missing.

It’s still kinda odd to me that she seems so uninterested in actually intervening with events, especially with how pissed off she seems to be in this episode about how things are playing out, but I still think that the whole question of what exactly Rika’s thinking and doing is part of Gou’s long-term mystery.

Her acting so much like Bernkastel in that scene [even though I think that was just her slipping into her ‘normal’ voice] is also making me think more about the whole question of how Featherine and Bernkastel are going to eventually play into Gou’s story, if at all. 

At the moment my theory with them is basically that, after the original events of Higurashi, Rika ended up getting scouted by Featherine in the real world, and commissioned by her to write a novel series based on her experiences in Hinamizawa. And so maybe Gou’s whole story is basically Rika’s fictionalized retelling of the original loops we saw in the VN, and in the process of writing these stories, Rika [or at least a version of her] is basically getting dragged back into the loop without realizing what’s going on. 

It’d at least make the most sense to me if it’s Rika herself who’s basically the game master this time around, since she’s one of the people who knows the most about what happened in Hinamizawa, and Featherine was never really the sort to be directly in charge of things herself. She prefers to just listen to other people read/write stories.

And on a more meta level, I think it’d just be much simpler to have Gou’s story ultimately just loop back to Rika herself, than to introduce entirely new characters just to have a new villain to defeat, or something.

Also, we already saw in Matsuribayashi how Rika basically created a new game board where Takano’s parents didn’t die, after she started to ascend into the meta plane as a witch. So this would basically just be an extension of that.

I also still feel like the only real reason to even bother doing something like this would be to set the stage for an Umineko remake anime, lol. But that’s still probably just me getting my hopes up.