#and totk too i guess but totk is fucking dead to me so im only counting botw

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Brian David Gilbert was actually so right with having Zelda Monopoly solve the Zelda timeline

[ganondoodle]

so, doing this as an extra post bc i dont want to spam op nor invite more disaster into their post (sorry)

(i get annoyed, i get frustrated, but i rarely get pissed off, so if this sounds aggressive to you, it is; i have had enough of arguing with people -even if most of that arguing has happened on twitter-)

someone had replied (and later apparently deleted) something along the lines of "well zelda wanted to restore hyrule at the end of botw and what is so bad about ganondorf always being the bad guy in the way that he is?"

so first off, while i know hyrule and KINGDOM of hyrule is often used as an equally interchangeable word to refer to the world there, i dont think she meant the kingdom or its or its monarchy when she said that (does she? i dont have the end in my head rn and pretty sure its a lil different than english anyway) and much more the LAND of hyrule, its still in shambles even if people have found ways to live with it- that is an interpretation of me mostly, you can think what you want in that regard idc

secondly .... im not gonna get into that rant bc you cannot be seriosuly asking what is bad about how ganondorf is presented, treated in the games (espeically in totk) and his role and "writing" (oh geez i dont know maybe all the racism and stereotypes?? also, frankly boring ass writing, if your villain can be replaced by a cloud of toxic goo incapable of speech and nothing would change except saving money for voice actors that dont fit the role that is not a great look- hes never gotten much but totk is a new low)

then theres this reply

astro-shark3113 replied: "You're kidding right? If she cared about reinstating the monarchy then why is the castle still in disrepair after five years? Why does she become a teacher and live in a cottage with her boyfriend instead of taking on duties as princess? She clearly wants to help people and be a leader but she can do that without wanting to be a Queen. Please be real"

i am not kidding and i AM being real, i think you need to look at the game without your rose tinted glasses for a second; the castle is still in ruin? what the hell do you expect, theres no soldiers and very few servants left, repairing anything is quite impossible in that time and frankly not a priority (not proof of her not caring lol) also there is a plan for it at the very least given the camps with the hyrule crest all over it in the ruins of castle town- we dont SEE her as a teacher, or living a "normal" life, that happens in between the game, its flavor text, what HAPPENS in the game is her being taught a lessson on who she needs to be and what hyrule needs to be (pretty in your face too, she gets sent to paradise past of the "first" king that is some supposedly godly thing from the HEAVENS and watches him and his queen die at the hands of the eviiil guy, the last scene in the game mimics perfectly the scene where everyone that god king got under his rule swears undying loyalty to her ffs); she does live in that house, but what other option is there, set up camp in the collapsing throne room all alone?? nigh everyone from that time is long dead and the only one she actually knows is link who happens to have a house (bc impa doesnt care i guess idk), with her ""boyfriend"" is also interesting, a "boyfriend" that apparently is locked in the basement, lives in the woods or straight up dematerlializes when theres no big bad in need of stabbing bc why the hell does no one fucking know him in hateno??? not even the kids that come to the house EVERY SINGLE DAY?? and taking on duties as a princess, she very much does? just bc she doesnt get physically carried around in a castle doesnt mean she isnt doing royal stuff (also, again, that happens BETWEEN the games, not actually in totk), she still sees herself as the princess, everyone calls her that, she herself calls herself that (if the memorial stones are anything to go by) and everyone listens to the most overtly stupid and nonsensical stuff that zelda puppet says (even her friends follow that order without even asking back???) after over 100 years of there not being a kingdom as such its pretty weird how everyone immediately, even the ones not alive for the calamity event, snaps into blindly following her orders

"she can still lead without being a queen", did we play the same game?? totk? TEARS of the KINGDOM?? (its zeldas tears, she IS the kingdom) that game?? the game couldnt be more directly telling you that its whole point is that royal family holy and good and how much everyone has to sacrifice to uphold the holy kingdom bc its the only thing that keeps evil man from overtaking it!! including turnign herself into a farmable, glorified stone pedestal for the entirety of the actual game and then that sacrifice not meanign shit bc she just gets deus ex machina'd back (i didnt need her to stay a dragon, though it would have been the better choice if she still didnt get an active part in the game i would kill for her to have been a capable companion instead of the stupid ghost sages, and you dont even get to actually do anything for it, it just happens), not even the nuclear pebble is lost, how great! she and everyone else that is a leader of their people has a nuclear pebble now!! they will not let a bad evil man be a threat ever again!! like the point to bring her back in that utterly unsatisfying way is that otherwise the royal line wouldnt exist anymore, its a blessing of her ancient ancestors!! woohooo!!

and the thing is, i LIKE botw zelda, i liked her character, that she wasnt the typically maiden princessy type, her struggle (even if i find the way she unlocked her powers lame), i do NOT like totk zelda, after the intro of the game she is a princessy maiden standing prettily at the side of the god king that rules the only thing keeping evil at bay, the level of how much totk disrespects her makes me mad on her behalf but i have ranted about that alone enough as well

and with this i am DONE talking about this game, i have ranted so much about it, made my points carefully clear over and over, said that i dont have the nerves left to be nice anymore about it given how much shit alone on twitter i had to live through just bc i dared mildly critisizing the damn game, if you comment some snarky "be real" thing again im just gonna go straight to blockign people bc i am done with this

[thegeminisage]

ok im playing more zelda!! i feel awful this is literally all i can do rn

you know i miss the match over bell from botw. it was so good

FAIRIES IN THIS CAVE...thank god

i fucking hate this place btw. rauru's settlement or whatever. i hate bottomless bogs

i guess in regards to gameplay it's not that different than lava - more forgiving, even! lava kills you instantly and sometimes you can fight your way out of a bog! - but it FEELS worse. it's uglier for one thing

i'm really close to the lost woods so i'm gonna see if i can navigate it without a torch! since i can see the wind blowing. i have so many korok seeds to trade in lol

took me one false start but i made it! i just had to walk veeery slowly lol

MAXED OUT my weapon storage already. damn.

going to check out a tiny chasm i've been eyeballing forever. i deserve a break

i used to feel so nervous being this close to hyrule castle in botw...the hills between it and the lost woods...it's not as bad in totk although i am still hugging the water. i don't want the music to play lol

fucking korok seed i was supposed to get by starting a fire and using a pinecone to go straight up. it was raining. i had to make the most convoluted structure out of dead trees it took FOREVERRR

how exciting!! after awhile away from the depths i land right on top of a yiga camp AND i can see an easy lightroot from here. a gentle reintroduction

ooh, this book talks about lights that appear and then vanish....that's fucking spooky. i hope they dont mean hands lol

ive been wanting to try "hoverbikes" that ive heard about and theres some fans here, so

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH THIS IS THE MOST FUN IVE EVER HAD. WOW

ok my bike died but for a test run that was NOT bad

this area is all explored except this one dark spot that i've just now lit up...i'll grab a few poes and go somewhere else

i'm gonna go to goron city and buy my stupid fire helmet. i swear if i don't kill that gleeok on lake hylia i'll die

oh! i found the goron brothers house! kabetta's diary...

uh oh, it's his marbled rock roast descent

ooh, i found the sidequest to get a boulder breaker!!

where tf do i get a cobble crusher these days i wonder...

god i forgot how fun minecarts are. i saw one of the oldstyle ones on my way by...

kilton's balloon! or um. whoever he is lol <3 i have TOOOONS of gems to trade

it's not the same here without the lava, but at least there's lava in the caves...

these mine cart tracks were RIDICLOUS. i got SO STUCK lol

i see dinraAl but im too close to the ground 😭

OOOOHHHHH maybe i can use a hoverbike.....i gotta finish this fight first lol

GOT A COBBLE CRUSHER.....oh man i almost LEFT these guys to go chase dinraal!!!

ok ok gotta hurry

so, this bike doesn't control as well as i';'d like...maybe i need practice...and of course i wish it was faster...but it's still REALLY cool

my battery keeps dying/my bike keeps falling :( i give up

ugh i have so much anxiety about dragon parts.

VAH RUDANIA HELM??????? HELLOOOOOO

oh my god...i didnt even have this in botw, i dont have the amiibo card....................

aw i found some monster forces guys. of COURSE im gonna help them

OH we still get the bell after monster forces battles...good

NO FUCK AND THEY JUST LEFT. AND THERE'S ABOUT TO BE A BLOOD MOON LOL

i didnt get all my loot yet!! no one to help me when they come back!! im gonna die!!!

im not leaving w/o my Loot. i'll just have to do it on my own. thank god i have muddlebuds

GEEZ i did it. double loot

i can see the edge of the map! that sort of thing always did fascinate me...some of the textures are warped here lol that's creepy

ok, i looked it up and apparently i made my hoverbike wrong. im gonna try again w proper instruction!!

ok, new bike got me up to the top of gut check rock...it still has too much forward momentum for me, but i've seen a couple of different designs i wanna experiment with when i have more fans (currently only have 2 left in inventory)

i miss the goron blood brothers :( i mean it's so depressing that there's nothing up here but a korok seed...

ANOTHER EVENTIDE SHRINE. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS i hate this bs!!!

ok fine that wasnt that bad. STILL

bike is LOTS harder to control with a korok on the back. i like of like the counterweight though to help with too much momentum...

the bike lists to one side! i definitely just need to improve my fan placement

woke up the horse god. JUST as unsettling as i remember.

omg the yiga hideouts REFILL after long enough. rip!

decided to fight the pirates while i was here. "monster forces"...hope i'm not supposed to be teaming up with anyone for this lol

i accidentally hit my bike during combat and it went over the side of the boat 😭 i can make another and i was gonna fast travel after this anyway but STILL......

AUGH it's dinraal again and once again i can't chase her...i know how to do the bike now but i don't have it and also i'm busy!!!!! ugh

248 korok seeds!! officially time for bed - when i started today i was somewhere in the mid 100s lol

i thought i wouldn't play enough tonight to need to make multiple posts but i guess i should have broken this one up, huh? whoops!

[rainbowgothdisaster]

important note: this could all be very assumptionous, but botw i fell in love with right away. it broke away from typical zelda games which was fun bcuz i only played the 3ds remake of ocarina of time and never finished it. totk feels like it tried to be more zelda game in the worst ways. so the disappointment is hitting hard and since my brother didnt finish botw i cant discuss it with him.

so glad i didnt buy totk

im borrowing my brothers. its............... fine. i guess. not

the music is worse, the story is too intrusive, switching some controls is irritating for someone who played botw at least 5 times in the last 2-3 years, i forget about these abilities more than i forgot about cyonis, idk why but travelling feels more irritating? why would i need my horse or walk when its just. idk. is it slower than before?, i feel like im losing health and stamina more but maybe im just too used to knowing how to manage it, i feel like i dont naturally make rupees and pick up materials as much as before like i have to go out of my way doing that, i dont find the zonai archetecture interesting in anyway its so bland, i feel like basic things that i used my eyes and brain for are being explained which. shut up., im not as sticky as i used to be im so demotivated from climbing

if it can import my horses why cant it know i know how to do stuff in the previous game? or why not have an option to turn off like parry and archery tutorials? if theres one way to make me put down a game its treat me like an idiot.

maybe im not far enough but i do not care for the new characters ive seen so far, theyre endearing in the basic way of "this is a child and has a cute design" but not very much in actual personality. its a cluttered cast, before i was here for zelda and made friends along the way and reconnected with old ones. this time i already have friends that would be fun to work with more closely but instead they pointed me to who im working with.

i dont feel as strong a connection with these sages as i did the champions. the champions i was heart broken bcuz imagine your friends all die you fail your mission and then you fucking die and wake up 100yrs later everyone youve ever known dead (and tbh anyone you cared about died just before you, except for The Person and you were fighting the odds with a tooth pick and white girl in a nightdress there is no way he actually thought hed get away), a faint memory in history, and you can barely remember them but are one of less than a handful of ppl that know them as a person instead of an ancient hero. 100 years is just 1-3 generations and yet its all so distant. i had reason to care for them from the get go. ive met the sage of wind and was just kinda. bored. these ppl are ancient and not mine and my connection is on a new person who i cant actually make memories with to make boss fights more dramatic.

maybe im just salty bcuz i thought teba and his friend was hot (i spent so much time in rito village guys, everyone liked sidon i was on teba (and the champions i thirsted for them so so much esp daruk and revali)) and they just pointed at tulin like "take this, it could help you on your adventure"

the puzzels are more intuitive and interesting, theres more characterization for previous characters and voice acting, everyone is so much hotter, uh zonai are sexy as hell???, zelda. babygirl. what are you trying to do to me with this makeup?, ive only come across two but i like taking the koroks to where they need to go :3 he go camping wit fwiend :3, i love the foreboding shadow child, fun boss fight, im not motion sick during the dungeons

[ganondoodle]

i might have talked about it before but i kinda wanna rant a lil how nonsensical both the "getting of the time reversal" and "giving zelda the mastersword" things are

bc ... to get the time reversal powers you touch a ... ghost of the enigma stone that used to be there .. and i GUESS it was the one zelda has now but used to be raurus and since its now linked to her we get .... link being astral projected into ghosty dimension similar to the other sages and we get zeldas sage power, but .. how does that even work, zelda, having supposedly long lost her soul to being a dragon is somehow still able to do the whole sage thing of taking you to fogland mclight dimension, just doesnt tell you the same stuff the other sages do word for word (thank GOD)

but how did that even manifest? even ignoring her soul being GONE how can she make that oath or whatever while shes not awake and just floating there, what business does the ghost engima stone have there and why dont the others have something similar to where they were once stored (in the forgotten temple backrooms tm bc we cant have the sonau NOT touch a thing in this world all of the sudden-)

is it bc they were like ... released of their holder from the old sages since they had long died and those go back to being big floaty stones (for whatever reason .. shouldnt have sonias stone done the same when gan took it then??)- also zeldas ability being put into the hand ability wheel while we gotta chase down the damn sages any time you want to use one of their abilities is so unfair .. you could have made the sages usable .. but no ..

its a relatively small complaint compared to the rest but it still bothers me bc it just ... feels so contrived, like it feels to be so clearly just some loose string to get you that power

the same with the weird ass time bubble to get the mastersword back in time to zelda just so she can have a flimsy reason to do what she does (we wouldnt want the character this series is named after be an actual CHARACTER instead of a pretty prize at the end now would we??) and its jsut so .......... why not have her grab the broken master sword as shes falling into the past (SOMEHOW) or it falling down with her bc really link shouldnt maybe not be able to hold it anymore- wait he reaches for her with that hurt hand .. so he did drop it .. and it somehow got back to him instead of being put into the past WITH zelda right then and there?? why??

(also ..rauru just teleporting him to the sky island ... wasnt that arm the last bits of raurus physical body? was his ghost just chilling up there the whole time- ... can ghosts in totk control and teleport their physical, dead limbs to whereever their ghost is? why can a ghost even be so far apart from the rest of his remains .... or was that spiraling energy stuff just him slowly turning into a ghost there ... but my point about ghosts controlling their dead limbs still stands- WAIT he ALSO has to be able to ... SEE somehow bc he grabbed link before he fell too .... the way he talks when you find him chilling on the island tho is like hes seeing it all for the first time too .. so .. he wasnt a ghost yet and still knew where to go .. even tho the place is somehwere totally different to where it used to be and if he became a ghost right there why couldnt you see him when he grabbed link... if the hand that grabbed link wasnt actual the one that fell off gan why does it look like it then? bc gan hand was long and thin with long ass class and raurus actual ghost hands are barely different from typical human ones- .. i think im having more thoughts about this point thant nintendo had over the entirety of making the game .... also fuck rauru for doing the fake out "oooh noooo im fading awayyy" thing just so he doesnt have to answer any of your thousand questions i guess, only to return at the end going, "actually, i want my arm back and yours was fine anyway lol, and here sonia is here too for some reason! also check this out! zelda is back and you didnt have to do shit, isnt that cool?")

the weird time bubble makes me so angry when i remmeber it exists bc it just .. makes NO sense?? what even is it?? if it was a foreshadowing to zelda learning to use her new time powers and you find more over time in the game where she manifests mroe and more until she manages to return on her own like it was kinda teased with sonia tellign her shell find a way to use her new powers to go back since she (SOMEHOW) also got herself here and that point going nowhere like so many other points (hows it going impah, foudn a way to get zelda back yet? dont bother, turns out the solution was 'beat the bad guy' and it all solved itself) OK fine, that works

BUT ITS NOT a foreshadowing of anything, the time bubble thing is just THERE and it drives me nuts, it really only adds to this whole game feeling so weirdly held together by loose strings and it just gets worse the more you think