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stagemanagerssaygo · 4 years

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Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney’s Hyperion Theater

by Cooper Howell

Heaven and Hell: or my experience being a person of color in Disney's Hyperion Theater. #holdingtheateraccountable Im just gonna go ahead and be straight up. This is pretty scary to share. HEAVEN: Once upon a time Liesl Tommy cast me as Prince Hans in Frozen: Live at the Hyperion. And I was gooped. GOOPED. There was nothing in my prior history that gave any indication this was possible. Up until then every role I played had to do with my race. Every. Single. One. And even ones where it didn’t (Shakespeare or classical pieces mostly) I was always made aware that the novelty of me being a poc in that role that gave me the part. So much did I not expect to get this part that when I got the callback I rolled my eyes and didn’t take the actual callback seriously. I mean, there was a zero percent chance that Disney would ever let me play a Prince, especially when the dude in the movie is a ginger. But then I got it. And immediately everything I thought was possible about my career changed. My whole life I’ve never inwardly felt black. I’ve never inwardly felt white. I’ve always felt like I was Cooper, you know, on the inside. But whether it was every single white human in Utah reminding me that I was “the whitest person they ever knew/saw” (which DIDNT mean how white my skin was. It was how white I ACTED) or Mr. Johnson, my 7th grade drama teacher, telling me that he “wanted to put Velcro on the ceiling to see if I’d stick” or Mr. Smith, my high school drama teacher, saying “finally we can do black shows” as soon as I entered high school and then not casting me in roles because of the "optics" of it, or even my best friend in high school Tanner Harmon who called me "blackie", I was always reminded that I was an other. So imagine getting paid good money to put on that $10,000 costume and waltzing out to 4000 people a day to play a really amazing part. A fantastic, evil, complicated, person who sings a killer duet and then grabs the show by the throat with a vicious about-face monologue... and not once was my race ever mentioned cuz it didnt matter. What was being prized was Cooper, my talent, not my skin color that I never asked for. Heaven. Liesl MADE SURE, almost overly sure, that the poc’s in the cast felt equal. The kingdom of Arendelle, after all, is a make believe place. It can be whatever. From having Disney executives come and tell us that they were happy to have us there, to side conversations with John Lasseter, we were made to feel overly welcome playing the parts we were playing. She encouraged us to dive deeper into the script of a cartoon that I didnt really think much of until I was in it. We were encouraged to ask why. We felt seen as talent and not commodities. There were, of course, detractors. Gosh, I remember people at a party of cast members from "Mickey and the Magical Map" another show at Disneyland which features a princess and the frog number and many of those casts mates angrily claiming that “if that black girl Tiana Okoye can play Elsa than I should be able to play Princess Tiana” and then looking at me to confirm that was okay to say, not realizing that a) she’s one of my best friends, b) that I’m in the show with her also playing a role that wasn't created to be a poc, c) how racist that sounded, and d) why there's a difference there and why that wouldn't make sense. On Liesls final night I came up to her and said “I don’t know why you did it but thank you so much for casting ME in this part” to which she replied “you mean why would I cast a handsome, talented person in this role?” And I stuttered something like “well, I mean, I’m black. You know...” to which she tilted her head to her side and said “no. I don’t know why. Tell me why that matters.” And I had no answer. Seeing that I had no answer she smiled. That was the answer. There was no reason. On the spot my outlook about myself changed. Windows into what I thought was possible for me opened. -------------------------------------- HELL: And then Liesl went back to NYC and she was replaced by a man named Roger Castellano as show director. Rogers task, he told us on the first day, was to "change the show". We were not told what needed to be changed or even why, but that changes were on the horizon. You've got to understand: to a full cast of actors who had just spent more than three months dissecting a 60 page Disney script with a Tony nominated director like it was Shakespeare, we were initially emotionally/mentally/spiritually resistant to changes. But then it became clear that the spirit of collaboration was over, and the show changes were to be given without the same care, consideration, and thematic explanation of why they were being made. Everyones initial reaction was to push back, but when people who questioned their notes or their changes started getting days removed their schedule or being replaced entirely by a new actor, the Hyperion theater became a place where no one was allowed to speak out. Injustices were happening left and right and no one felt they could do anything for fear of losing their livelihood. And that's when the Frozen: Live at the Hyperion became a living hell. In my first note session with Roger he pulled me into a room with Domonique Paton, my best friend and incredible costar who played princess Anna in the show I was in. She just so happens to also be black. Almost all of Prince Hans’s scenes in the show are with her character and so most of my notes would be primarily based on those interactions with her. Earlier in the day I performed with a different (white) actress but it was the show with Domonique that I had a note session about. Imagine my surprise and dismay when, with how Liesl set up the show experience, we were told this: “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER ITS TOO… URBAN.” Urban. What else could that have meant, do you think? He could have said maybe “too contemporary” emphasizing that we were maybe too modern in our speech patterns or movements. We weren’t. He could have said “too lax” or “too loose” meaning that maybe we were being unprofessional and goofy up there because we’re really good friends. We were not. The best me and Ms. Paton could think of was a 8 count moment of improv dance that me and Domonique decided to use as a synchronized moment of unity. It happened to fall on the line “our mental synchronization can have but one explanation” and thought, with the freedom that Christopher (the original choreographer) had given us, was appropriate, especially considering everyone behind us was doing the robot. As in the 80s robot. But he didnt clarify. He just said “WHEN THE TWO OF YOU PERFORM THE SHOW TOGETHER IT’S TOO… URBAN” And when asked what he meant he smiled with a little shrug and said "you can figure that out. You're smart." And thats how I became Black Hans and Domonique became Black Anna. My every moment onstage afterwards became about the optics of being a poc in that show. It was if I was suddenly made aware that I was LUCKY enough to be there and under any normal circumstances, or this new directors circumstances, me getting this part would have never happened. But the message was clear. It was especially clear when me and Domonique Paton shows together durastically decreased and made even more clear when the vast majority of the new hires were not people of color. But no one said anything. And made even MORE clear when, over the next few weeks, both Domonique and I got COPIOUS notes, ten times that of our coworkers that played the same parts. It was almost a game. In fact we did turn it into a game, seeing who would get the least amount of notes from him in a day. Our costars would even joke about it onstage with us, during the ballroom scene, and jokingly whisper "The shows been up 15 minutes. How many do you think you got today?" But no one said anything. And the notes were about all kinds of things. How we held our hand. If our inflections went up or down on a word. Which side of a couch we leaned on… which was fine! When you're an actor, thats the gig... until we started comparing our notes with the actors that played our same parts and none of them, NONE, would get the same notes. Our notes would be outrageously longer, the note sessions sometimes lasting 10/15 minutes. Others would get the “Oh hey, try doing this or that next time, okay bye” walk-by notes. Sometimes I would sneak into the audience and watch as some of the other Han's, some of whom changed lines, changed entire intentions of scenes, some of whom adding in all types of vocalizations and cackles and dance moves and what have you, and would receive ZERO notes. But I was watching them to see what was wrong with me. What was my performance missing? What am I actually doing to feel this singled out. And then I realized that the thing that was wrong with me was that I was a different color than the 5 other white Hans's they cast. And then I started getting notes about my penis. Most of the time these “penis sessions”, as I called them, were given in private rooms without another stage manager present. It was incredibly unpleasant and unprofessional. In fairness, those Prince Hans pants are TIGHT! And yes, Mr. Howell is indeed a party in the front and a party in the back, but so were a lot of those fellas. And thats where I put my foot down. If Disney was going to provide me with a costume it is not my responsibility to fix their problem, especially when other of my (white) costars had been given a dance belt for the same thing. But they never got penis notes. Private session notes about what their penis looked like in that show. Over and over again I was told to fix it, to not make it (my dick) so apparent, and that “if my daughter were younger I wouldn’t want her to come to a show you were performing at" all the more insulting considering his daughter, a cast member in the show, was a friend of mine and the loveliest person. He started demanding that I buy a dance belt. It was “my fault”, “my responsibility” …and thats where I took my stand. And then it really became hell. Penis sessions were now done out in the open. Once, he screamed at me, in the green room in front of all of my costars during lunch, about how incredible unprofessional I was, about how he was tired of seeing my dick, and that if I didnt go buy myself one I didnt deserve to be there anymore. Followed by a huge litany of notes. That doesnt compare to some of what Domonique went through and I invite her to share them if she’s willing. During this time I went to every stage manager in the building and told them about being singling out and about my penis. They all told me to write a complaint report and it would go to some place called "HR". Which I did. Numerously. More months passed. Nothing from "HR". Multiple cast members who witnessed my note sessions encouraged me to go to the HR themselves. I didnt honestly know what an HR was. As soon as it was explained to me by my allies even what an HR was I went to the head of HR at Disneyland herself and waited outside of her door. I asked her if she got any of my HR reports and she told me that she had received no HR reports from the Hyperion. Ever. And then asked me to fill out a HR form. As we went over it, she asked me some questions, and then set up a second meeting. On the second meeting she said that in order for my report to be given credence I would need witnesses to give their testimony. The witnesses, in fact the very people that told me to go to HR in the first place, said no. They didnt want to lose their jobs. In retrospect that might be the thing that hurt the most but, whatever... anyway, I was told "“well… without testimonies we’ll do an investigation and we’ll call you when we’ve completed it.” I never received a phone call. With absolutely zero protection from the stage managers from both the sexual harassment or my obvious racial targeting I (and others) were experiencing, not to mention that HR reports were doing nothing, aka not being forwarded, I thought about quitting. And when a white stage manager made a show mistake and laughed it off to the cast by saying an entirely offensive lynching joke, I quit. I didnt matter to Disney. How I felt and what I was being put through didnt matter. I was a commodity. My departure was unceremonious. Bizarre. 100% un-magical. I hung up my costume one last time and it was given to a new Hans, one who looked very much like me oddly, and stepped out of the theater. The park was playing “every wish your heart desires will come to you” and I remember laughing at how dead that song felt. The director has since moved on but still works as a musical theater director in Southern California. This one time 4 years ago I got to feel something other than my color for the first and only time in my professional career. It lasted from about March 2016 to July 2016 and never again since. I will never forget in those early days looking at all the beautiful princesses I got to woo and thinking “wow. I’m a prince right now.” Im sure that sounds stupid. But it didn't feel stupid. And a Disney prince! Yeah, a shitty prince kinda... I mean, he's a sociopath... BUT still a Prince! Especially special was being able to look in Dominique’s eyes and I could see the same glimmer of “can you believe we get to do this right now” reflected back. We never knew it was in the cards for us. My race always has and will always be part of my career equation and a determining factor of its projection. It will always be a determining factor in how im treated, by creatives, by people, by the those in authority over me, including the government and the police. #wasitmyskin

Copied in its entirety here from Cooper Howell’s public Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10163696376095054&set=a.10151302685610054&type=3&theater

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wizkiddx · 3 years

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I would for sure read a continuation of the birth photographer fic if you feel comfortable writing it/have time! Xx

a/n sorry I kinda combined these two together, I hope this is okay!! sorry ive taken so long too!! my requests are still open, just going a bit slowly :)

summary: literally just birth + harry

dad!tom x reader

warnings: childbirth, mentions of fainting, squint for suggestiveness too

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“Your doing so good darling, just keep breathin’ like that for me, in-out-in-out”

That had pretty much been the soundtrack to your last 3 hours. And yes it was MORE annoying than it sounds. Of course, that’s also ignoring the insane amount of pain your uterus was putting you through - as it spasmed while the little bug in there was wriggling away. Giving birth was not easy but giving birth with a husband-turned-midwife wittering away in your ear? Un-fucking-bearable.

“Tom…. I love you but..” Everything had really been starting to ramp up in the last half an hour, you were a panting sweaty mess now. “Please… SHUT THE FUCK UP” Tom would’ve recoiled completely away from the bed because of your tone, if it wasn’t for the absolute death grip you had his right hand in. Instead, Tom settled for straightening straight up and staring helplessly and dejectedly across the room at his brother - who of course was trying to hold back laughter, knowing it would be very easy for you to switch your target to him.

Clearly it wasn’t a social call to the hospital, Harry was here under the premise of taking photos when the baby arrives for Tom; but really to stop his brother from having his own breakdown - as commissioned by you. Lets just say, however scared and mortified Harry was of this ‘event’ he was taking a lot of enjoyment from how his brother was acting currently.

“It’s okay sir, if you were pushing a watermelon out of hole that normally was the size of a whiteboard marker, I’m sure you’d be a bit tetchy too.” That lady was your favourite midwife and in a lull between the sets of contractions, you actually managed a laugh. Wide-eyed, Tom just nodded jerkily, murmuring some sort of agreement. It was at this point a flash of light reverberated around the whole room, causing you to breathlessly laugh, Harry’s face informing you the picture he just got of Tom was priceless.

The laughter didn’t last long though, the next contraction had you bearing down on the bed, face contorted in pain as you sucked desperately on the gas and air tube.

“Okay Y/n I think we might be getting there, let me call the senior midwifes in okay?” The midwife had your legs hiked apart, a blanket attempting to cover your modesty - but at this point she was basically sticking her face in your noon. Modesty was out the window.

“Already?” Tom was shocked to say the least, from all his reading and research he’d learnt that the average labour time was more like 5 hours. Lets just say, Tom never exceled in school, never much enjoyed reading - which made the hours of highlighting baby books and pregnancy leaflets all the more extraordinary.

“Babies don’t stick to the script sir.” You could tell she was proud of the pun there, because you know, Tom’s a moviestar. “Professional improvisers, the lot of them.”

The cream walls of the hospital room very quickly filled with more and more people - Harry staying like a fly on the wall, now nervously biting his nails as he watched an obscene amount of medical people all take their turn oggling his sister-in-law’s bits. This was a weird ass situation.

Almost immediately it was at the point the midwifes were telling you to push, which after 9 months of holding a baby in (as well as your ill functioning bladder) sounded like an absolute dream. But it was also absolutely terrifying and exciting and horrifying all wrapped in one. Naturally then, after nodding hesitantly at the midwife between your legs, you’d craned your neck across to tom .You might’ve just told him off, for trying to encourage you, but now? You needed his encouragement.

What met you though, was his face completely drained of colour, mouth hanging slightly open as he hadn’t moved - still staring intently at the midwife. She followed your gaze, only taking half a second to survey the situation before knowingly smiling.

“Can we get a bit of help for dad please?” Immediately one of the more junior looking midwives was directing (pushing) Tom into the chair next to the floor. Suddenly actually concerned, you looked with wide eyes to the lady between your legs, who you felt bad for not remembering her name. With a comforting squeeze of your ankle she reassured you he’d be right as rain after a few moments of having his head between his knees. Also sensing you needed your support, she arched up, beckoning over to Harry who had an equally bemused look on his face.

“No - I-um I’m not.” His squeaking protests were interrupted by a large scream on your part, as another contraction tore through your body. Helplessly Harry glanced between Tom, who was still hunched over on a chair with a nurse squatted infront of him; and you, writhing around on the mechanical bed. He didn’t hesitate then, in jumping right to your side, allowing you to start crushing all the bones in his hand too.

And then it was all happening, a blur of activity and screams. It didnt take long for Tom to pull himself together and then you were flanked on both sides by Holland boys - both giving cheesy encouraging words (which you would’ve again told them to shut the fuck up for, if you’d been able to), Tom also stroking the top of your head. He found it pretty impossible, watching the woman that he loved go through such immense pain - especially when he was technically half the cause. Well… actually more that that, it had been him who had been… well shall we say *needy* those nine months ago.

“Okay Y/n the heads crowning, I know you’re tired but we need a few more big pushes, can you do that for me?”

Merely 5 minutes later and the most beautiful sound in the world echoed through the 4 creams walls. You were absolutely spent, eyes closed as you panted, knowing tears were flooding down your face too. Immediately though, familiar hands cupped both sides of your face, a forehead resting on yours.

“You did it Y/n/n.” His eyes were glassy, watering and red and the way he scoffed a smile in disbelief had you mirroring him exactly.

“We did it.” Your voice was hoarse and scratchy from all the yells of pain but it didnt matter. The midwife calling you by the name ‘mum and dad’ got both of your attention, a title you’d no doubt start getting used to.

“Meet your beautiful baby girl.” Another choked sob escaped your throat, as this little roughly wrapped up pink alien looking thing was placed onto your chest. Both you and Tom just gazed at her, completely transfixed at the way she wriggled her head slightly, nuzzling into your chest. Tom gently hovered his palm against her little head, while you pressed down the blanket gently, just so you could see all her features.

Then a flash echoed around the otherwise silent room, making you all look up to Harry who was gritting his teeth in apology. “Do mum and dad want to smile for the camera?” The question was posed so hesitantly and quietly, really it wasn’t funny either. That didn’t stop you and Tom both pulling out the biggest grins and chuckling away, allowing Harry to capture the perfect moment. Being referred to as mum and dad - it was bloody comical.

“You gonna tell me her name now?” You looked from Harry to Tom, nodding in approval for him to spill the beans.

“Amber. She’s Amber.”

You’d squabbled for months before ending on Amber. It had been a long relentless process, Tom claiming that your baby might just have ended up as ‘as yet untitled’ which you and your hormonal state had stormed out at. It hadn’t taken much to forgive it though, Tom had long since worked out that Ben and Jerrys was the way to your heart.

The nurses took Amber back to do some tests, properly cleaning both you and her up and after that everything was weirdly calm. Harry had left to give the twothree of you a moment alone and Tom was about to do his turn of skin to skin.

“This really is it isn’t it?” He murmured, whilst carefully scooping Amber from your arms.

“Mhmmm… your stuck with two girls who’ll go psycho on you without a moments notice.” He seemed to accept it though, just nodding in response.

“And I still can’t bloody wait.” His eyes penetrating deep into you, had you blushing like a nervous teenage girl. “ ‘m still so proud of you, you grew this little human.”

“Your not allowed to call her little because you didnt have the ‘little’ thing rip your insides apart.”

“Hey! I’m upset about it too! Was like I had to watch my favourite pub being burnt down.” Of course, trust Tom to make a dirty joke at a time like this.

“Don’t kid yourself, you weren’t watching, too busy fainting.”

“I didn’t actually faint!” This time he protested a bit too loudly, causing Amber to mewl a little and bury her head into the crook of her Dads arm. “I think Ambers just told you to shut it too.”

“You annoy the hell out of…” Your grumbling was interrupted by an impressive, ear-splitting yawn. “ You annoy the hell out of me.”

“But you love me?” He sing-songed, now back to a hushed tone.

“I hope so, otherwise we’re in a bit of trouble.” He scoffed, but nodded his head, taking the hand that wasn’t cradling Amber to tuck some sweaty, knotted strands of hair behind your ear.

“I do owe Harry though, he was at least able to stay on his feet.”

“He was a better birthing partner than you too, much much less condescending and annoying.” You sniggered, making Tom pout once again, only wiping the look off his face when you yawned again, rubbing an your eye like a toddler would.

“If your done insulting me… get some rest love, I got you.” All you did was nod, with a small groan (because below your waist still hurt like a bitch) rolled over so you could fall asleep to sight of the two of them.

“Got you both, my two beautiful girls.”

hope you enjoyed, would love to hear any thoughts <3

taglist: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fluff #Tom Holland blurb #dad!tom #tom holland imagine #harry holland

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kyyuri · 3 years

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not what it seems || part eight

senior ! hwang hyunjin x junior! female y/n

lower caps intended

word count: 668 words

warnings: might have some grammatical issues ><

a/n: WORDS IN BLUE BRACKETS ARE HYUNJINS MSG AND Y/NS ARE IN WHITE BRACKETS !! also hi im back after a while ! had like writers block >< this part kinda feels like its written really badly :( but i hope i still did this ff some justice,, enjoy !

taglists are open as long as i can tag your user !

[seven] [masterlist ]

your hands reached for your hair in frustration. you were preparing for your final exam and yet you cant seem to focus or figure out the answers to the questions in your chemistry assessment book. why was it so hard to understand something that was supposed to be so simple ? after about ten minutes of staring you gave in. reaching for your phone, you texted your group of friends. [help ] [does anyone understand the empirical formula ?] your grip tightened as you waited anxiously for a reply. a ring sound came and you looked at the screen immediately. there were “no”s written all over. feeling even more helpless now, you were unsure of what to do. thats when he came to your mind. you searched for his contacts, hyunjin, before frantically typing a message in hopes that he would reply. he did mention to you once that he would be free around this hour..

[hyunjin !! ] [y/n? whats up?]

even though hyunjin was feeling exhausted, he answered your text almost immediately.

[i need help with chemistry] [i don’t understand the empirical formula and my friends cant seem to help me either ☹️] [my chem exam is tmr so i was kindaa hoping you could help me..]

the lethargic feeling from just now seemed to have vanish into thin air. he grabbed all his chemistry materials and went to his study table instantly, ready for whatever questions you have for him.

[send them to me ] [ill try my best to help] [my braincells might not be working as efficiently though] [im kinda tired]

after reading his last message, it was normal that you felt bad naturally. you were disturbing his rest and yet he so kindly decided that he would help you regardless.

[oh..] [um its ok then,, ill ask someone else] [you should go rest !! ]

his heart dropped when he realised what you just typed. hurriedly, he sent another message.

[nonono its fine] [i can help you]

it took a little convincing before you finally let hyunjin help you with your studies. at the end of the so called “tutoring” you had a much clearer understanding of whatever that was going on in chemistry class over the past month. and with that, you went to bed peacefully, knowing that youre as ready as you can ever be for the last exam of the year.

“time is up. put your pens down. i will now be collecting your examination script.” the examiner said as he made his way around the class. once you submitted your paper, you can’t help but heave a sigh of relief. as you grabbed your bag, ready to leave the class with your friends, you cant help but secretly look for hyunjin when you passed by his class. “was the answer to the empirical formula question C ?” you tried to ask your friends in an attempt to distract them as you look for your crush. “yea!” you felt another wave of relief. maybe you were gonna pass the exam after all.

your eyes finally land on hyunjin. he was so engrossed in studying, he didnt even realise you were walking past his class. however, your actions did not go unnoticed though. little did you know, a smirk started to form on han’s face the moment he saw you. “this two fools… such a simp for each other but yet too scared to do anything about it.” he whispered underneath his breath. “are you ok ? why the heck are you muttering to yourself ?” hyunjin looked at han with a confused expression. “nothing, um im just saying my prayers. yes. go back to studying.”

you kicked the leaves that have fallen on the ground of the bus stop. your exams are over, but that just means that his is just beginning. his exams are going to be even more intense compared to yours. you think for a while. maybe its best i dont disturb him for a while…

[nine]

taglist 💌: @ninjaleeknow @oifelixcmerebrou @freckledquokka @toxiccyubin @97lovestay

all works here are strictly mine. please do not translate or steal them without permission. © kyyuri

#skz #skz angst #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #straykids #hwang hyunjin imagines #hwang hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin #hyunjin angst #hwang hyunjin #skz hyunjin #hyunjin fluff #stray kids hyunjin #straykids imagines #stray kids han #han jisung #skz fluff #stray kids fluff

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sherlockmeowlmes · 4 years

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Jensen’s comments on 15x18

(Source: @DeansSqueeQueen on Twitter)

DeansSqueeQueen: How was that scene emotionally being filmed? And also we never got to see Dean’s reaction because Cas got taken so fast. How do you think, if we had time, how he would have responded to him?

Jensen: Umm great question and it’s funny because I have, all season, in fact I don’t even remember the last time, maybe a big huge season ender or something and i don’t know who’s responsible for this because I would love to say thanks alot you jerk umm but they sent me a reaction video. It’s like a real time critique from a real fan and I found it fascinating. Like I said I don’t know, I rarely ever do it, I did it for 18 and I wanted to see what the reaction was, and that quickly led to, I didn’t want to go on Twitter you know.

DeansSqueeQueen: It was trending you know

Jensen. Yeah Misha sent me that, he was like, hey dude the episode is trending right now, and I was actually driving home from Colorado. So I was on like a road trip so I didnt get to see the reaction, so when I got home, uh, I looked up a few of the fan kind of reaction videos and there was one, this one guy who was the most beautifully reactionary kind of person you would want. And he was so emotional and I felt like he went through a couple boxes of tissues. But he was so emotional about that scene, and he had to pause it a few times, it was just really entertaining. I sent that over to Misha, and he sent me another one back, and so then I became really interested and wondered what the fan reaction is.

Then I watched the show, actually watched the episode, and I will say that some of Dean’s reaction of what I played into Dean, they did not use. Uh, in the final edit. But also some of the stuff Misha played in to his side was cut. And that’s very common, editors will trim up things to speed up a scene, to the point, they call it taking the air out of the scene. Taking the air out, and they’ll kind of condense it and it’ll be a concentrated version of that scene that was filmed.

I knew that scene would be, I mean obviously we’re saying goodbye to one of the most beloved characters to ever be on Supernatural. And uh also one of my dear friends, I actually had uh, i had one of our crew members take my phone. I was like will you just take pictures of this, and maybe some videos, because I want to remember this from my perspective, and not Dean’s perspective that’s on the screen, because that will be a highly edited version with music and visual effects and special effects and all that stuff and I want to remember this, I want to be able to go back and watch this, uh, from my, from Jensen’s perspective on how this happened between two friends irl and two friends in character life, and I was really pleased.

Misha had a tall order that day, for me I just had to be there and watch him kind of go through that emotion and get that all out and it was a beautifully written script and Bob Berens did a good job of crafting that dialogue. From Dean’s perspective, and Misha and I have talked about this, we’ve talked about this prior to filming that scene, during that scene, and we’ve talked about it since. I’ve actually talked to him uh, a lot this past week, about the reaction, what we want to add to that reaction, how we want to navigate that. Because we’re getting a lot of questions about what do you think, what do you mean, what was your intent, and he and i both kind of talked about, well if you, and this may be a little a little too out there but go with me here, well artists don’t stand in a gallery next to their painting and tell you exactly what you should be seeing.

And I kind of, I hope it doesn’t sound like a cop out, because it’s not meant to be, its truly meant to be. I knew where Jensen was in that scene, I also was making a choice for Dean in that scene. I kind of knew what I was trying to play with him, but at the same time what came across from a visual standpoint and a storytelling standpoint, and the audience perspective could be a multitude of things. And I would just, I would never want to tell someone what they should and shouldn’t see. Um, and not that, and again I’m not trying to do a cop out because I know it was a very important scene on a variety of levels, but I kind of, and I always thought i mean i’ll give you guys a little bit of an insight into.

There were no choices made on Dean’s part, and I hope I made that apparent because he was dealing with something far greater than what Cas was expressing to him. He was dealing with his friend was about to die. So I’m not sure that Dean absorbed or processed anything that was coming out of his mouth at that moment. And I will say that they were cornered. You know you had these two characters who only know how to fight and they were in a corner that couldn’t get out of So you couple that with the fact that now this person, this best friend is now going to sacrifice himself. I think it was all too much for one human to kind of absorb.

But you also have to remember that Cas is a celestial being, and he’s thinking in a way that might not be comprehensible by a human heart or by a human brain. So the things that he says I always from Dean’s perspective, I don’t know if I understand where he’s coming from or what he means from a humanistic stand point, even though he kind of transferred into a human over the course of twelve years. But he was always coming from this, there was always an angelic aspect to him that Dean may, or may not have understood. So I don’t know, don’t know how humanistic the feelings being professed at that moment were, or maybe they were, maybe that was what was happening. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. I think that’s the beauty of what this story gives you, hopefully it gives everybody something.

#jensen ackles #destiel #15x18 #deancas #supernatural

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eijie-cavies · 3 years

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Wen Kexing and the great divide.

So as we all know Episode 32 and 33 has left us with a plethora of questions and the fans are divided in terms of their view on Wen Kexing's plan. Tbh that is to be expected if you look at it. It was an asshole move to hide everything from A-Xu and leave him to find his soulmate's dead body only to find holy shit this motherfucker is alive still what the hell. And so a lot of the fans sided with the argument that Wen Kexing never learned and was acting like a selfish lone wolf. But today i am here to try to analyze the plan between Scorpion king, Wen Kexing and Ye bai Ye.

Please keep in mind i haven't watched the entirety of the show yet and so some theories here might not fit in with the rest of Kexing's explanation for the next episode.

Also thid will contain spoilers so please be warned.

Alright let's start. I will be dividing this analysis into parts. 1st part is the show's script and budgeting and why they chose the route that the went with.

2nd part is my theories on the heroes conference and why it was rushed as well as the timeline.

And lastly Wen Kexing's POV and the analysis for his plan and why he did what he did keeping A-Xu in mind as well.

A few extra bonuses is the romeo and juliet plot and why i think it had to be in the plot somehow.

So lets start, sit down and grab a drink for this you will need it.

1st part.

Scriptwriting and budgeting.

This show was supposed to have 45 episode and so the plot would have had more time to marinate and kick in if it weren't for the shortening of the epsiode.

With this in mind the scriptwriter had originally planned for this 45 episode and sadly we won't probably know what was supposed to happen if it weren't cut to 36 episode. But we do have Wolong nuts to thank for giving the drama sponsorship and making the drama into 36 rather than 32. If we had only 32 episodes in this drama everything would have felt too rushed and fast paced. And so to have to cut 9 episodes worth of plot the screewriter was put in a tight spot on how to cram three different events. Namely the kidnapping, the exposing of Zhao Jing and of course the wedding plot as well.

Thus the Romeo and Juliet plot was born. We will be discussing this plot in depth later on in the analysis. Nonetheless if they have had all the freedom and budget it would have been nice to see a plot of Zhou Zishu, Wen Kexing and The Scorpion King all work together to bring Zhao Jing down. For now let us work on the plot given to us.

2.) Timeline.

The heroes conference is a huge deal, this is where EVERYONE of big sects and names gather in the martial arts world, its the equivalent of the whole world witnessing everything. This event is a big part of the plan that the three accomplices had, if they didn't act right away Wen Kexing and Xie'er (Scorpion King) wouldn't have had the chance to expose Zhao Jing in the future, because like what the beauty ghost relayed, once the heroes conference is over Zhao Jing planned on killing Xie'er and eradicating the ghost valley. There would have been no other time to take him down, no time to wait for another heroes conference as Zhao Jing would have risen in power already, they would have been too powerful to stop and the merits he would have gained by then would be multiplies, the people wouldnt see him as evil anymore. Therefore it was crucial to strike at the time where they are most vulnerable and the seed of doubt was still fresh, if they had waited, everyone would have disregarded Wen Kexing as a mad man and praised Zhao Jing for saving them from the purges of the ghost valley.

And scorpion king? Who would believe him if he was the only one to take a stand? His Godfather no doubt would have acted as if he didnt know what Scorpion was saying and act innocent. Even if he was spared Scorpion had no allies other than Wen Kexing who's allies was also born out of the same hatred they had for Zhao Jing. Everyone was forced to act swiftly, it was an all or none kind of situation. Now if we backtrack to the previous episodes, not two episode ago Zhou Zishu was heavily injured because of the kidnapping and was given no time to properly heal before everything needed to be set. As you can see in episode 31 Wen Kexing was in a hurry to meet Xie'er, don't you think it was iffy that he would leave A-Xu like that if he was still injured? The Wen Kexing that we all know would not have moved a single inch from Zhou Zishu's side if he were injured. And this is because of a lot of things which we will be getting to in the third part of the analysis.

Now on the subject of the plan and how Chengling had somehow gotten a hold of it. Simple, Ye bai Yi. He is free to roam around, sending messages and talking to people behind the scenes, we never really knew what he did after he left Wen kexing at four seasons manor and the reason why he had agreed on the rushed reopening of the heroes conference. but if you think about it it fits with the timeline. Zhao Jing wanted to reopen the heroes conference and Ye Bai Yi was sure that they were out to hunt down the chief of the ghost valley. If you remember the letter in episode 27 you will understand.

Why did they get that letter in the first place when the four seasons manor wasnt even fully restored yet? The martial arts world didnt even know that Zishu was on the road to reopening it and yet he got an invitation. This is Ye Bai Yi's first clue and a nudge for Wen Kexing to take action. This leads us to part 3. Wen Kexing's plan.

3. Wen Kexing's plan.

Now the question is why didn't Wen Kexing think to tell Zhou Zishu his plan? Simple. He is heavily injured. Now i was stuck here as well because i would have thought, why couldnt he just trust Zishu of his plan? BUT you all have forgotten this.

Wen Kexing has asked this two times, he wanted tell Chengling already so the kid could process it before he could stage his plan and possibly even tell Zhou Zishu on how he can use the heroes conference as an event where he can expose Zhao Jing. But Zhou Zishu was kidnapped, tortured and injured. There was no time to tell him of the plan without him having to stop Wen Kexing from doing it. At first i thought this didnt make sense, Wen should have trusted Zishu enough to carry on without distrubance right? Well a very nice person in Youtube provided some very interesting and eye opening points for me.

And they are right, if i were Wen kexing i wouldn't want to burden Zishu of having to wait around thinking where i went off to, why do you think he told A-Xiang to take care of Zishu and promised to go back in one piece?

A-Xiang was also kept in the dark of the plan, the only plan she knew was that Wen Kexing is planning to have an alliance with the scorpion king and thats it. He didnt fully disclose everything either.

Wen Kexing's plan was simple, after he was regarded as "Dead" he probably would have went home to tell Zhou Zishu he was completely fine and it was all a ruse to trap Zhao Jing. BUT the problem was that Zishu set out to find him, Bei Yuan and Da Wu couldn't stop him either as they had no time to explain everything without Zishu panicking. Like i said this was all too rushed of a plan for Zishu to comprehend specially when he needed to heal as fast as possible.

What they could only do is give Zishu a medicine to ensure that if he ever did take out the nails he would still be okay. And that was the downfall of Kexing's plan. He didnt expect Zishu to have escaped his friends watchful eyes and go to the siege, ever wonder why Kexing said this when Zishu arrived?

He was trying to convince Zishu to leave, make him believe that Wen Kexing is out for blood. But Zishu didn't fall for it, instead he stayed which was NOT a part of the plan at all. There was nothing Kexing could have done now, the siege was happening and he could only play along and move forward. And if you look closely again just as they were about to attack Kexing, Ye Ba Yi came to fight Kexing at the VERY right time, and who fought Zhou Zishu?

The three ghosts WuChang, his subordinate and Happy ghost. Why didn't anyone else go for Zishu? They could have had the scorpions attack him but they chose the Ghosts who are a part of Wen Kexing's valley, mind you these three ghosts were there when they rescued Zishu wouldn't it just sound stupid if they were fighting Zishu to kill him? No. What they tried to do is separate Zishu from Wen Kexing. Ye Bai ye could have eliminated Wen in 10 moves, he said this himself. But they had this complicated dance that somehow landed Wen Kexing at the edge of the cliff and left Chengling to do the rest.

And so he fell and Zishu followed. If you look closely even Ye Bai Yi was surprised that Zhishu jumped. NONE of it was part of the plan. From the moment Zishu entered to the moment he jumped no one planned for it.

And if you are upset of Zishu having to see Kexing's dead body and breaking his heart, this again was NOT A part of the plan. Beauty ghost was there to protect the corpse, if the corpse had not been burned it would have been presented to the martial art world and Kexing would come back as a different person and telling them "They got it wrong. That corpse is the chief of the ghost valley, i am Wen Kexing the disciple of four seasons manor" and it would have been more belieavable. But plans went south, Zishu found the corpse further solidfying that Kexing (in his mind) is dead and so he took out the nails. Ke xing couldn't show himself to stop Zishu either, there was so little time and he couldn't risk himself be seen.

Some others had been in the dark of the plan as well, not just Zishu, and the reason Wen Kexing didn't dare tell him was not because he didn't trust Zishu to stay away and let the plan carry out, instead he know EXACTLY what this will do to Zishu. Wen Kexing's plan was to HIDE Zishu away until the conference ended. Because with Da Wu and Bei Yuan, there would have been no news about Ke Xing dying that would have reached their place and Zishu would have had all the time to recover as Ke Xing took revenge and finally come back home as a new person.

He NEEDED Zishu to stay away from the fight to help himself heal just enough to get the nails out.

His revenge done and his new goal to be with Zishu for the rest of their lives. But unfortunate events happened, Zishu found out and there was other way to go but forward.

Ever wonder why Kexing had this look on his face on episode 33?

He wanted so bad to explain everything but the spotlight was on him and this was the only time he will be given the chance to take a stand. This is now between him and the Zhao Jing. Like everything there was nothing to do but move forward.

Now for bonus part.

Romeo and Juliet plot.

Romeo and Juliet plot is basically person A percieved as "Dead" and person B endagering their life to the brink of death only to find person A was alive and well but Person B is for real dying.

Now tbh i wasn't a big fan of the Romeo and Juliet plot, this was the reason why fans became so divided and saying Kexing didn't learn his lesson therefore lossing their faith in Kexing and Zishu's relationship. He was pervieved as childish and selfish, And tbh they would have had so many plot devices that they can use to maximize full on plotting and bringing down Zhao Jing. But going back to my first point of the budgeting im guessing the scriptwriter had struggled to cram it all in. It was already episode 33 and they still had two more plots to cram in (the wedding and curing Zishu) so im not as upset as much. In the end the whole staff gave their best and poured their heart and soul into the drama. On an ending note i'll just let this nice person do the talking for me

Thank you for reading! If you guys have your own theories feel free to discuss or voice them out.

#wenzhou #wen kexing #zhou zishu #word of honor #shan he ling #faraway wanderers #analysis

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ash-is-not-trash · 3 years

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Okay my thoughts on The Batman. This isn't like a review or anything just the ramblings in my brain while I watched the movie.

1. Selina Kyle chews too much bubblegum

2. I like The Riddler a lot more before he got caught. He was still fine but they perhaps tried a little too hard to make him unhinged. But I liked the ominous air he gave the movie. The real villains for me were the mob bosses and corrupt city officials. The drama of them was the highlight.

3. There were two moments of acting really stuck out for me for Robert Pattinson's Batman. The first was after he punches Commissioner Gordon and gets to the roof of the precinct. He runs up on the edge of the roof and he stops suddenly and gasps. It's weird to be so thrown off by a superhero character reacting to almost falling off a building as scary, but I think most cool mysterious type supes are usually portrayed as above that kind of stuff. I would image the scene would go with Batman getting to the roof and immediately jumping off and activating his sugar glider suit thing. But they show him hesitating instead and having to think about what he does. Hes not some prescient godlike character that's always 10 steps ahead of everyone everytime he is on camera. The next one is when they find Annikas body in the car. He looks genuinely shocked and horrified. Again, this seems like a normal response but it's not what I expect from a superhero movie. If I was trying to guess the reaction based on the script I would've said he would see the body, close his eyes and bow his head. A cool measured response that still shows sympathy. But he does something different! It just stood out to me.

4. I like the amount of Commissioner Gordon that we got. I like Jeffrey Wright a lot as an actor and I liked his interactions with Batman.

5. I'm sure like a lot of people, I liked the detective angle of the movie. It feels like a real breath of fresh air from other Batman movies despite him being billed as the worlds greatest detective, the movies havnt given us too much of that yet. The gothic architecture was beautiful. The film noirs beats were great, especially the "he's my father" reveal. And I liked the sound design as well.

6. Penguin car chase. Loved. Also the makeup they did for the penguin was amazing. Do I think they could've just cast someone that looks like The Penguin? Absolutely. But regardless, I'm always excited to see good practical effects makeup. It moved so well with his face. Ve Neill would be proud (if she didnt have a hand in it, idrk)

7. I think the Joker tease was a little unnecessary, but I may just be tired of movies so blatantly setting up for sequels.

8. I liked the progression of Batman going from someone who hurts bad people, to someone who helps people. That's the batman I love and it's good to see him helping out in such mundane ways at the end.

9. I liked that they allowed the melodrama to just be. Is the "I am the shadows" line a little corny? Sure. But they dont apologize for it, or try to meta humor their way into making a joke of it. This movie is earnest and sincere in the ways I wish other blockbuster superhero flicks were. This didnt feel like it belonged to the DCU. Maybe in the same universe as Joaquin Phoenix's Joker, but it doesnt have to be. And I like that. I dont think that DC should focus on having a U. I think Marvel has already cornered that market and in doing so has made all of their movies so tonally similar that they run together and have little distinguishable about them. DC could be different. Tell standalone stories in tones and genres that highlight the character or story they're telling. Detective Batman movies, keep the funny Suicide Squad, a Booster Gold character piece, a horror/thriller movie with The Question. Just my opinion DC.

10. And finally, this one is short but I liked that the city of Gotham felt like it's own character in the movie. I think that's a big reason why I felt like this movie could tie into The Joker movie if it wanted too because the Gothams they portray feel like the same place to me, just years apart of course. Gotham in the Christopher Nolan movies might as well have been New York, but this was Gotham for sure.

#the batman spoilers #the batman thoughts #the batman #its my opinion #onion #dcu #robert pattinson #i do like paul danos dorky little face #also the movie was too long but #thats so many movies now #couldve cut 45 mins for sure #imo #i liked the riddles #and his little rhymes #i guess i also found it weird that they put the emotional alfred beat so far before the end of the movie and then hes never seen again

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i-just-want-to-destroy · 3 years

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Would love to hear your thoughts on gintama the final, if you want to share!!

Fucked me up. Punched me in the face. Obliterated me.

CW GINTAMA SPOILERS

I spent my middle-high school years reading/watching gintama n its a huge influence on me—it probably has the most influence on me compared to other animanga tbh—storytelling and humor wise this series just engineered me lol. Its also the first fandom i was active in, this was literally a gintama blog to whoever remembered that era.

When gin said this^ i was bout to cry fr -_- when i saw kagura looking all grown up in this movie i was like 🧍‍♂️so SHOCKED bc pretty sure i was kaguras age when i started gintama. so looking at adult her as an adult myself… insane meta moment. Like u know how uncle iroh is everyones uncle, gintoki u are my father

Anyway. takasugi

Takasugi’s redemption arc is so fucking crazy. Idc how tropey everything is bc it was done so well. Maybe im biased but it doesnt matter. The storyboarding in the gintoki vs utsuro/takasugis fight was done SO WELL. !! The sound design also! They translated n elevated the scene insanely well from the manga. The interpersing flashbacks and mutliple callbacks with the present fight uogoggh. THE SILENT MOMENTS!!! the staff knew what they were doing. It was so devastating. The script is also very crazy like…. Everything they told each other at their last moments together…… I think it was done perfectly. It was a perfect, most miserable moment.

His iconic catchphrase..

I actually did not think i would like takasugi this much (funny since i got my url from him lol) but like. I always thought takasugi n gin’s dynamic is rly good in a rly fucked up way but idk i was not obsessed w him the way im obsessed w the other characters. But now. Oh man. WHAT a character. Yeah its a cliche to die to get your character redeemed but goddamn he did it SO WELL. SO WELL! He didnt turn nice a la zuko or whatever, but the script rly allowed us to see the best of him despite everything he has done. Or in spite of it. Like his character rly, rly just shines through. I feel like the first time he showed up as a villain his motivation felt vague and chaotic—violence for violence’s sake—but now we know its nothing like that at all. Its vengeance, but it isnt vengeance for him, its vengeance for the three of them: gintoki, zura, n himself. When i realized his want to “destroy” isnt egocentric in the least… [shakes head] his character just changed completely to my eyes its sooo. CRAZY. WHAT a character.

my fav character dynamic is enemies who know each other best. Obsessed with it truly. and also characters who try to kill each other (which is takasugi+gintoki in the past arcs of the series) out of love. Bc it is out of love! Out of guilt and pride and really love. The way that we thought takasugi’s pain centers fully around their teacher—and it turns out what tortures him the most is gintoki’s suffering all along?!?! WTF. And the way they mirror each other! Its fucking insane! Gin chose to sacrifice himself in the past to carry the burden at the beginning of it all VS the series ending with takasugi sacrificing himself bc he doesnt want gin to carry that burden anymore -> literal insanity. Yes character death is tedious but its the perfect conclusion to their conflict. Full fucking circle. Im frothing at the mouth thinking about it. Its such a tender end for the both of them it was beautiful and it hurt like shit.

If there is anything i have gripes about the movie is the lack of zura and sakamotos involvement at the core of their conflict—esp zura! Bc shoyou is his teacher too ): and also the poor character screentime distribution for the rest of the cast (it cant be helped on some level ig, gintama has a shitload of characters) though i appreciate that otae has a lot of scenes, good for her :)

But overall i loved it—very biasedly, but i really do. I mean it hurt but it hurt so good. Im happy that it ended that way. Bittersweet and hopeful and in good, good humor is the very essence of gintama and that was the ending that it got, so: perfect. And therefore i will think abt gintama fondly onwards as i always have

#ask #gintama spoilers #ty for asking #long post #i would put keep reading but im typing on mobile #so #gintama the final spoilers

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postspnfinalearchive · 3 years

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Q: How was that scene emotionally being filmed, and also we never got to see Dean's reaction because Cas got taken so fast, how do you think, if we had time, how he would have responded to him?+

J: Umm great question and it's funny because I have, all season, in fact I don't even remember the last time, maybe a big huge season ender or something and i don't know who's responsible for this because I would love to say thanks alot you jerk umm but they sent me a reaction video. It's like a real time critique from a real fan and I found it fascinating. Like said don't know, I rarely ever do it, I did it for 18 and I wanted to see what the reaction was, and that quickly led to, didn't want to go on Twitter you know.

Me: It was trending you know

J: Yeah Misha sent me that, he was like, hey dude the episode is trending right now, and was actually driving home from Colorado. So was on like a road trip so I didnt get to see the reaction, so when got home, uh, looked up a few of the fan kind of reaction videos and there was one, this one guy who was the most beautifully reactionary kind of person you would want. And he was SO emotional and I felt like he went through a couple boxes of tissues. But he was so emotional about that scene, and he had to pause it a few times, it was just really entertaining. I sent that over to Misha, and he sent me another one back, and so then I became really interested and wondered what the fan reaction is. Then I watched the show, actually watched the episode, and I will say that some of Dean's reaction of what I played into Dean, they did not use. Uh, in the final edit. But also some of the stuff Misha played in to his side was cut. And that's very common, editors will trim up things to speed up a scene, to the point, they call it taking the air out of the scene. Taking the air out, and they'll kind of condense it and it'll be a concentrated version of that scene that was filmed. I knew that scene would be, I mean obviously we're saying goodbye to one of the most beloved characters to ever be on Supernatural. And uh also one of my dear friends, I actually had uh, i had one of our crew members take my phone. I was like will you just take pictures of this, and maybe some videos, because I want to remember this from my perspective, and not Dean's perspective that's on the screen, because that will be a highly edited version with music and visual effects and special effects and all that stuff and I want to remember this, I want to be able to go back and watch this, uh, from my, from Jensen's perspective on how this happened between two friends irl and two friends in character life, and I was really pleased. Misha had a tall order that day, for me just had to be there and watch him kind of go through that emotion and get that all out and it was a beautifully written script and Bob Berens did a good job of crafting that dialogue. From Dean's perspective, and Misha and have talked about this, we've talked about this prior to filming that scene, during that scene, and we've talked about it since. I've actually talked to him uh, alot this past week, about the reaction, what we want to add to that reaction, how we want to navigate that. Because we're getting alot of questions about what do you think, what do you mean, what was your intent, and he and i both kind of talked about, well if you, and this may be a little a little too out there but go with me here, well artists don't stand in a gallery nextto their painting and tell you exactly what you should be seeing. And I kind of, I hope it doesn't sound like a cop out, because it's not meant to be, it’s truly meant to be. I knew where Jensen was in that scene, I also was making a choice for Dean in that scene. l kind of knew what I was trying to play with him, but at the same time what came across from a visual standpoint and a storytelling standpoint, and the audience perspective could be a multitude of things. And I would just, I would never want to tell someone what they should and shouldn't see. Um, and not that, and again I'm not trying to do a cop out because I know it was a very important scene on a variety of levels, but I kind of, and I always thought i mean i'll give you guys a little bit of an insight into. There were no choices made on Dean's part, and I hope I made that apparent because he was dealing with something far greater than what Cas was expressing to him. He was dealing with his friend was about to die. So I'm not sure that Dean absorbed or processed anything that was coming out of his mouth at that moment. And i will say that they were cornered. You know you had these two characters who only know how to fight and they were in a corner that couldn't get out of So you couple that with the fact that now this person, this best friend is now going to sacrifice himself. I think it was all too much for one human to kind of absorb. But you also have to remember that Cas is a celestial being, and he's thinking in away that might not be comprehensible by a human heart or by a human brain. So the things that he says I always from Dean's perspective, don't know if I understand where he's coming from or what he means from a humanistic stand point, even though he kind of transferred into a human over the course of twelve years. But he was always coming from this, there was always an angelic aspect to him that Dean may, or may not have understood. So I don't know, don't know how humanistic the feelings being professed at that moment were, or maybe they were, maybe that was what was happening. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. I think that's the beauty of what this story gives you, hopefully it gives everybody something.

END

- Full transcript of question in Meet & Greet with Jensen Ackles November 16th, 2020 (x)(x)

#transcript #jensen ackles #jensen ackles on destiel #Jensen Ackles on 15.18 #meet & greet #jensen ackles meet & greet #origin: twitter

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misterbitches · 3 years

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i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #*dont call me western ever #a thot

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dreamingofmilk · 4 years

Text

Lost

Synopsis: You get lost and almost give Bucky a heart attack. He's going to make sure you never do it again.

Word Count: 2,686

Warnings: smut, cursing, slight breeding kink

“Hey.”

That simple word made Bucky rush to hop out of his bed. Your voice was a sound he’d been craving to hear for a few days now, and he was ecstatic to finally hear it, but he could tell that something was wrong.

“Hey Babe. What’s up?” Bucky was ready to run to you, and wrap you in his arms. The argument you previously had was nothing compared to the pain he felt from missing you.

“I’m sorry Buck.” He could hear your voice break as the tears crest over. He couldn’t understand what was wrong, he wanted nothing more than to wipe tears from your cheeks and hold you close.

“Nono I’m sorry doll. It’s my fault. I messed up.” Bucky could hear your chuckle, he could picture you rolling your eyes.

“Yeah you did. But that’s not what I’m talking about.” Your voice cracked as you spoke.

“What are you sorry for then?” Bucky cocked his head to the side as he placed his hand on his hip in slight frustration.

“Can you come get me?” You sniffled. “I’m lost.”

Bucky’s jaw tightened. He hated when you put yourself in possible danger. And this was the exact situation he was always telling you about. With him being an Avenger, you being in an unknown location stressed him to the max. You’d been threatened before by one of Bucky’s enemies and Bucky went batshit crazy making sure you were safe. You always shrugged it off when he got overprotective but he's seen firsthand what happens to people who aren't too careful. He refused to let that happen to you.

“I’m sorry doll. I don’t think I heard you correctly.” Bucky growled while grabbing his bike keys and heading out the door.

You sighed, then leaned on the old ass phone booth you were using as protection from the rain. You tightened your thighs in response to his rough voice nagging you about being safe. It always turned you on when he was worried about your safety. But now was definitely not the time to think about how good your boyfriend would feel breaking your back right now.

You had no idea where you were and you knew Bucky was pissed. You were mad at yourself to be honest. It was stupid of you to even end up on this situation.

You couldn't help but let some of your frustration project onto your boyfriend. “I’m lost okay Buck! Just come and get me. I have turned on the GPS on my phone but my phone is about to die so...” You shrugged, you had enough juice to call him and send your location but not much else, especially not the nagging.

“I told you about doing stuff like this!" You could picture Bucky pulling his hair in frustration. He was probably fighting the urge to pace too. You couldn't focus on anything though when he spoke again, just the pool between your legs "Just wait til I get my hands on you. You’ll be too tired to get lost.” Bucky threatened his bike roaring to life as he located you on his phone’s GPS.

You uttered out right before the phone died, “I’m ready for it.”

Bucky hung up, growling to himself as he floored the gas and jetted down the street. "We'll see how fucking ready you are."

The further he got from the city the angrier he got. Why the fuck were you even out this far? What could you have possibly been doing? It's like you were trying to get yourself killed! He glanced down at his phone again, he was getting close to your location, just a few more minutes. He was going to tear you a new one once he found you.

After a few turns and passing what he was certain was a crack house he saw you sitting in the phone booth. He couldn't decide what emotion was winning out, anger or relief. He damn near fell over screeching to a stop, trying to get to you as quickly as possible.

Your smile was bright, "Bucky thank you!" You made your way over to him, your arms open. Bucky pulled you into himself as far as he could, his arms tight around you, and his body warm. You basked in the coziness of it for a while before Bucky flipped the script.

"No apology? I just drove and hour and a half outside the city to come get you, after you got yourself fucking lost in the middle of fucking nowhere and you think you can just hug me?" He chuckled, pulling you back so he could stare into your eyes. A normal person would be terrified of the angry, slightly crazed look in his eyes, but you weren't like others. And Bucky in any situation made you wet.

Bucky cupped your cheek, his voice velvet smooth, and whisper soft as he spoke.

"Doll, I dont think you understand the situation at hand, but let me remind you real fucking quick." His hand quickly circled around your neck, just tight enough to make you pant.

Bucky smirked, "Here's what's going to happen sweetheart. You are going to go into that phone booth and take off anything you don't want to get ripped off. You have 10 seconds."

Your eyes widened in shock. Did he really expect you to strip in that dirty phone booth, where anybody could see?!

"Bucky, baby, I ca-"

He tightened his hand around your throat.

"I wasn't asking sweetie. Now all of a sudden you're concerned about the consequences of your actions? Should have thought about that before you got yourself fucking lost huh?" He let go of your neck and raised an eyebrow when you didnt move, "10...9...8…"

It took you a bit to understand what was happening but once you did you sprinted to the phone booth, frantically trying to remove at least your outer layers of clothing. Bucky was definitely angry enough to rip all of your clothes and make you ride back home naked, so you had to save at least your shirt and pants. You had thrown off your shirt and bra and just got your pants over your hips when Bucky threw the door open.

"Time's up doll. Regretting those tight jeans now aren't you?" He chuckled as he closed the door behind him, crowding you against the wall.

You held up your hands, "Bucky please, they're half off, please don't make me ride home with no pants." You formed your lips into your best pout and gave full strength puppy eyes. Hopefully you'd be able to appeal to Bucky's soft side.

He smirked, his hand on his chin like he was thinking really hard. "What are you willing to do for them? How much are your pants worth to you?"

Damn, Bucky wasn't with the bullshit. You racked your brain, trying to come up with something he would accept. You knew you only had one shot at this.

That's it! You smiled sweetly at him, and pulled him against you. You cupped his face and placed soft kisses on his jaw, his nose, his cheeks, everywhere you could reach. After a bit you leaned up on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

"I'll let you cum inside me."

When you and Bucky started having sex you were quick to tell him you didn't want him to cum inside you. You didn't want to give that privilege to any man you couldn't see yourself having kids with. You were on birth control, but you were just extra cautious. Bucky had no problem with it, but you also knew he would jump at the chance to be able to fuck without that barrier. You were in love and you were going to tell Bucky you'd changed your mind soon, but now was as good a time as any.

Bucky stilled under your hands, his muscles clenching under his clothes. He looked into your eyes, searching for something. "Y/N, are you sure? Don't play with me."

Any doubt you could have had was definitely gone now. Bucky always had your best interests at heart. He may show it in strange ways, like fucking you in a phone booth in the middle of nowhere, but there was never a time where you doubted his intentions.

You looked into his eyes, trying to convey just how sure you were. "Yes, I'm sure Buck."

He groaned, his body pushing you further into the wall, the glass cool against your bare skin, "I hope you understand what you just agreed to babe."

You smirked, "I'll take a little time to think about it." You slid your pants the rest of the way down and piled them on the floor. You quickly kneeled in the pile of fabric and set to work unbuttoning Bucky's pants. You never got tired of seeing his dick. It was honestly the most beautiful one you'd ever seen. Huge and well groomed with a slight curve to it. You quickly pulled it out and started with feather light kisses against the head before sucking on the tip. Bucky gently placed his hands on your head, not adding any pressure as you swirl your tongue around the head.

He groaned, "Mhm, Baby, fuck!"

You smiled as you started to go deeper, pausing when the tip of his dick hit the back of your throat so you could swallow around it. You got your desired reaction when Bucky's hands tightened in your hair and his hips instinctively bucked into your mouth. His moans were making waterfalls between your legs.

You had to fight the urge to reach down and get some action yourself. Now wasn't the time, and a bit of build up would pay off later. You moved even further, until your nose hit his pubic bone and that was where the fun really started. You looked up, Bucky's eyes on you, and held that eye contact while you bobbed up and down on his dick. Bucky couldn't contain himself. He threw his head back and started thrusting into your mouth, his hands guiding your head back and forth.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck! So fucking good baby. Take it baby, yes!" He honestly had no idea what was coming out of his mouth at this point. He just wanted you to keep going.

You hummed in delight, noticing the high pitched keen that escaped his lips when you did it. You started humming your favorite song while you went to town on his dick, like it was your last meal.

He whimpered, "Baby, I'm gonna cum. All in that hot fucking mouth. Fuck, your so damn nasty baby."

That just made you work harder. You spend up, humming even more until he starts whimpering, his hips rutting against you even faster.

"Gonna cum, fuck, baby, slow down, slow down! Shit!"

A gush of cum hit the back of your throat and you swallowed it down without missing a beat. You grabbed Bucky's ass and pulled him as far into your mouth as you could and held him in place. You could feel all of his muscles spasming, all of his nerve endings firing off at once. After you milked him dry you finally let go of his dick with a pop and leaned back to look at his face. "I've thought about it. And I still want you to cum in me." You stood up cupping Bucky's face in your hands.

Bucky smirked, "There's no way I'm not cumming in you after that. I should spank you for that. Let's not forget who's in charge here doll."

Bucky turned you around so you had to brace yourself with your hands against the glass. His metal hand made quick work of ripping your panties to shreds before he shoved three vibranium fingers inside you.

You couldn't hold back your scream if you wanted to. The stretch felt so fucking good! Bucky plunged his fingers over and over, hitting all the right spots inside you.

He leaned down to talk in your ear.

"You're so fucking tight Y/N. Fuck, you're gonna feel so good on my dick."

You whimpered, "Please! I want it. Fuck me!"

Bucky bent you over even more and removed his fingers. Your hips reared back trying to catch them again. Bucky tutted and purred in your ear.

"Patience doll. I have to savor the first time I fuck you bare."

He rubbed your asscheeks with his flesh hand squeezing as he went.

You were a pile of mush by the time the tip of his dick touched your lips. And when he pushed in both of you moaned loudly. This was completely different from how it normally felt. Sex with Bucky was always amazing, but this was on another level. You could feel every ridge and vein in his dick and they brushed against your walls in a way that made your back arch and your eyes roll back in your head. You were ready to cum and he hadn't even started fucking you yet.

"Bucky, oh my god."

"I know baby, I know. Fuck. Let me take care of you."

He pulled back slowly, both of you moaning at the feeling of his raw dick sliding against you. After a short pause he slammed back inside you and you saw stars, you started cumming on the spot.

"Bucky! Fuck! I'm cumming!"

"So fucking tight! Damn!" Bucky growled, his hand moving to your hips to move you on his dick.

He picked up the pace, both of you getting lost in the sensation. You could feel a second orgasm building and it felt like it would drag you under. You started hitting Bucky's forearm, trying to convey what you were feeling. You tried to tilt your hips trying to lessen the pleasure so you could breathe for a second, but Bucky wasn't having it.

He gripped your hips harder and growled, "Take it, baby. Cum on my dick. I'm gonna cum so fuckjng hard Y/N. Gonna put my baby in you."

And that did it. Without warning your body shattered and clenched around him. You could hear yourself screaming, feeling your body trying to move away from him because the pleasure was too much but Bucky used his superhuman strength to keep you in his grasp.

His hips rutting even harder and faster, his moans rising in pitch until he was whimpering. "Gonna cum baby, so fucking tight, gonna cum so deep in you."

Just as you felt your orgasm start to subside, Bucky growled and bit into your shoulder as his dick swelled then shot his hot sticky cum inside you, which brought you to the edge once again. Your legs gave out completely, but Bucky caught you before you fell.

You looked into his eyes. "That was… fuck I…"

Bucky nodded, "Yeah, that was amazing. I'm sorry if I hurt you. Let's get you dressed so we can go home." Bucky was as gentle as possible as he helped you put on your shirt and pants, your shredded panties a reminder of what you two just did.

As you both walked to the motorcycle you stopped Bucky with a pull on his wrist. "You didn't hurt me Buck, not at all. It scared me at first how mad you were, but I get it. I should have been more careful. I don't want to cause you unnecessary worry."

Bucky smiled, kissing you softly on the forehead. "Thank you baby, I'm sorry I caused the stupid argument that led you to get lost on the first place. But don’t do something like this again.You nearly gave this old heart its first heart attack. I couldn’t bear to lose you."

“I promise Buck, I’ll never get lost again.” You pressed a kiss to his lips before climbing on the bike after him.

You wish you meant what you said, you really did, but angry sex with Bucky was on another level.

You were already thinking of the next time you'd get lost.

Taglist:

@aislinnsilver @wawakanda-btch @chaneajoyyy @marvelmaree @ljstraightnochaser

#milk fics #bucky x reader #bucky x you #avengersfanfic #avengers fanfiction #imagine #milky fics

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graywarren · 4 years

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dont come at me but tkem had horrible execution .. its no wonder its the only kes drama that flopped the idea, cinematography, world was great but the execution was........ disappointing to say the least they couldve done so much better and honestly very disappointed in kes for the script.. i dont mind the cheesy lines but it all sounds so awkward sometimes it sounds like she put her lines through google translate. nothings wrong with the grammar or anything but the sentence structure is horrible and awkward. she shouldve made the characters say what they're saying a different way.

and the actors were overhyped kge/jec/some other side cast thats been in the industry a while did well but wdh and lmh were adequate at best. esp lmh hes only so popular bc of his early success w bof and bc he rose to stardom so fast hes never been able to improve his craft its always just the same level of delivery and same expressions/gestures. my mom thought he was a bad actor but i wouldnt go so far just that he has much room for improvement but i dont see him improving any time in the future bc hes already recieved success with the skills he has now and if he didnt feel the need to work on it before he definitely wont now or later.

anyway back to execution they just missed out on so many great opportunities esp with the world building and character development, i wish they did more with the politics of kingdom of corea and its history rather than a few lines explaining to tae eul and the scene w the sea battle (which btw was so weird like they just sudden potential war and then gon comes and solves it all and its never mentioned again?????????), speak more of its tensions w japan and how it differs from korea and why royalty is so invloved in politics unlike other monarchies (ie england). and in regards to the royalty's invlovment in politics they make it seem like gon was pretty much in charge but then he spends so little time doing his duties???? like he is just so free all the time? despite ruling a whole kingdom? if they wanted to focus on his romance then they shouldve not made it seem like hes so invloved in politics and just show more of badass pm koo and her struggles as a female in high position which they often hinted at but never fully showed.

i feel like they focused more on the sci fi bit rather than each of their worlds and how they shaped tae eul and gon. how their characters came to become themselves through the world around them and how that differs and how they clash bc of it and how they try to understand each other bc of it. they just placed these characters with complex back stories in life or death situations to create more drama but never properly explain their motives and thoughts.

not to mention it feels like 50% of each episode is just a well made ad. i understand that they probably expected another huge success w this cast and writer and needed to make their bills to support all that cgi and sets/rental for the palace but theres really only so much that the audience can tolerate.

and well none of the tkem stans probably even cared enough to know the reason of its failure in korea. it had a lot of issues that came up in regards to corea's royal symbol (?) being the same as the one japan used during its rule over korea (which is a super sensitive issue in korea, everyone pretty much hates japan for it and the writers and staff should know that as well but still went ahead with it anyway??), jung eunchae's scandal as a mistress, and many others.

also i felt the villains were pretty one dimensional which im sure a lot of people would disagree with but the only reason they felt so good was because they were portrayed well, the actors did a good job of adding depth that the script didnt provide. they should've spoken more of seoryung's troubles as a child due to poverty and how that developed her need for power and wealth, more of lee rim's potential as a ruler and how he fared much better as a ruler than his older brother but was cast aside because he was the second son.

yes, everything i mentioned above would take up a lot of time that they didnt have in a 16 ep series but they would've had enough time to show all of this if they cut back on the ads.

n e way when tkem stans defend it and say it "deserved better" they really need to know that sometimes theres a reason some dramas dont have national sucess. and they should really stop trying to shield it from the criticism it recieves and actually look into its flaws instead of blindly defending it. which is much more beneficial to everyone who worked on it so they know how to improve next time. instead of saying "you're wrong tkem has no flaws its perfect and it deserved better", say "yes you're right about some of this and tkem does have its flaws but i love it nonetheless" which better shows that you're much more intelligent person and care more about this drama.

#tkem #the king eternal monarch #lee minho #kim goeun #woo do hwan #jung eunchae #lee gon #jung tae eul #kim eun sook

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destressjournal · 3 years

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DCOM Rankings #84: Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure

So when going into this movie, I figured it would be a cutesy, little girl-type movie, direct-to-video sequel that’s just something for the kiddies to watch, and just not very good quality. You know the type I’m talking about (Cinderella 2 I’m looking at you, basically most of the Disney direct to video sequels, but also direct to video kids movies in general)

Long story short, my hunch about this movie was totally correct....but objectively it was a good movie anyway.

It took me awhile to finish it because the story doesn’t really grab me personally, but I cannot deny that the movie had excellent pacing, great characters, one of the most popular Disney channel characters of all time as the lead, and the logic all pretty much makes sense, except for a few understandable things.

So let’s get into it!

First the flaws:

- because this is a direct-to-video sequel type movie, I’m gonna be a little bit nicer to it because I had different expectations going in. Though I thought the idea of having the dogs audition for the role in the show instead of the owners was a little weird. And having them fall in love was kind of a useless plot line. They didnt have to do that in my opinion. I feel like that is such a tropey thing.

- and this is just my personal opinion and not so much a flaw, the entire premise of the movie could have been at least little more mature. I felt that this was all dumbed down for the little kiddies. Like, the HSM series I feel like really spoke to pre-teens and teenagers and was slightly more mature. This movie feels like an episode of my little pony (but an episode of the good series, I will say). But yeah I had more enjoyment watching HSM 1 and 2 than this movie.

-Just a quick comment on the logic. I guess with her money she could afford anything in NYC but the film student?? Those apartments look huge still, even if they’re studios with the bathtub literally in the kitchen.

-and that’s another thing, the film student may be hot, but I felt like the movie had a missed opportunity to focus more on him as a character and their relationship. I don’t even remember his name! But it seems like all he does is admire her and want to follow her around and tell her how great she is while being a genuinely nice guy. Like, sharpay, are you gonna ask about him at any point? Relationships are a two way street, and I feel like the film student is being taken advantage of. But whatever, if he doesn’t mind not being the center of things and she loves it, maybe they’re great together.

-Lastly, the villain was just a little ridiculous at the end, like they really had to spell it out that she was the bad guy right before they revealed her to everyone. Idk, I guess it bugs me when villains start out subtle and then by the end they are so theatrically evil that it’s hard to believe them. And I’m mostly saying this for live action movies where the villains are just regular people and not like “super villains”, those are where I love to watch them be theatrical. But I guess this is a movie about Broadway so I’ll give it a tiny pass.

Okay done with the flaws, let’s go to the good stuff!

- yes while the premise of the movie is not exactly my cup of tea, this movie is really well executed and was still a relatively easy watch! The logic was mostly really sound, and the pacing was near excellent! Everything seemed to flow into the next thing and character choices and motivations are really logical. I was honestly pleasantly surprised by the whole thing. For a girly cheap direct-to-video sequel, this is some of the best you’re gonna get.

-Sharpay really did deserve her own movie and I’m so glad she had the spotlight for once, and it was really cool to see her character grow when she gets a taste of her own medicine while also getting a new backbone. It’s so satisfying! She’s not like other Disney channel antagonists, she’s really enjoyable to watch and there’s a lot more to her than just being a mustache twisting villain. She just wants to be a Broadway star and you kinda need to have a backbone if you want to compete in that world. She’s driven, full of confidence, and turns heads whenever she walks in a room. But she’s not evil.

- the guy main character is so hot...I wish I remembered his name....but he was the cinnamon roll none of us deserved. But I did think that he and sharpay had a decent amount of chemistry. More than many of the DCOM’s I watched recently thats for sure.

-I didn’t really mind that this movie wasn’t a full musical because I think it would have been overkill. I did like the songs that were in the movie, except maybe for the beginning song, it just needed more omph!

This review isn’t going to be super long. But I was sure I would hate this movie and I ended up really liking the execution of it. People knew what they were doing when they made this movie, they’re like “don’t fuck this character up” and they literally did the opposite. I love sharpay even more because of this movie. Her eventual breakdown is understandable AND necessary for her to grow and it’s just beautiful to watch. Like I said, it’s told in the context of a little girl movie, and the script and direction probably had something to do with that, which was a turn-off for me. But honestly I would recommend this to any fan of the HSM series if they haven’t seen it yet. If nothing else, its a really cute movie with cute dogs in it. And a hot boy. Need I say more?

I’m gonna give this an A- NOT BECAUSE I HATE IT, but personally I don’t see myself watching this again, yet I can’t deny how objectively good it is. It’s going to the top of my A- list for sure. I think an A- is still a really good grade considering I was so ready to give this a B or C. Don’t let my dislike for certain parts of the movie keep you from wanting to see it.

Okay, the next movie is our 3rd? Animated DCOM! I can’t wait for this one because I know I’m pretty much already gonna love it. This is definitely the last one I’ve seen all the way through, so it will be a bittersweet review. See you then!

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wizkiddx · 3 years

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was thinking for toms most recent ig story it sounds like hes working out early everyday, what if u did a blurb where the reader does it with his and its like best friend --> something else ? sounded like a you type of story, id love if you gave it a go ❤️💕

oohkay so sorry this lit just came through this evening and I suddenly got v stupidly into it (if u put in a req before that I promise I am working on it I just got way to invested cos this is stupidly cute) xxxx

summary: what starts off as tom taking you under his wing and some sunrise workouts together might just develop into something more

“It shouldn’t be legal…. to be doing anything… this fucking early!” Spoken, well yelled, in between the fake strokes of the exercise bike and your pants. All you got in response was the two men laughing at you, no sign of sympathy at all, as your gritted your teeth - fighting against every body instinct to stop the movements. Your heart was pumping like the clappers; breathing shallow and rushed and your arms… your arms felt like they were about to fall off. Combine that with the lack of sleep from waking up before the sun did at 5 am - meant you felt like your were in literal hell.

Why ever you’d agreed to do these workouts with Tom and Duffy escaped you. Being the new and rising actress, with a new supporting role in the next Spiderman, meant you’d spent a lot of time with Tom over the past few weeks. Not to inflate his ego either, but Tom had been a real life hero to you. See, you were the complete opposite of his experienced and seasoned professionalism - this was your first acting gig. And what a gig it was, the second biggest part in a Marvel movie. You never really believed you’d get the part and even when you did, were pretty sure it was some elaborate joke, where Ant and Dec were going to jump out from some corner and go ‘ha its a prank!’ or something.

Yet somehow it was all still happening, you had been flown halfway across the world to spend three months alone on a film set. Well obviously not alone, but you knew no one - you were a complete outsider. That, really, was the reason you’d agreed to do these sessions with Tom. He’d offered half heartedly while between takes as you were moaning about how out of breath you got in that scene. At that point, you’d only known each other for a matter of weeks, he really hadn’t expected you to commit to 5 am each and every morning. What he wasn’t aware of though, was how ocmplerly stranded and lonely you felt here, hence why you jumped at his offer.

And yes you loved to moan and complain when you were there, however you were also so incredibly thankful he ever offered. Duffy, Tom’s PT, was a right laugh too and he took great joy in torturing you - and was also entertained by the new and inventive ways you’d insult him after he ordered you about.

“Come on Y/n, 200m more and then we are done, even your little arms can survive that.”

“Really … not the encouragement… I was looking for.” Still panting, face bright red and blotchy as you pressed your legs straight again.

“Tom? You wanna help Y/n out?”

“Nah you know… kind of enjoying seeing her in pain.” The British voice laughed from somewhere behind you, making you roll your eyes.

“Why the hell… are you not… torturing him?” He sounded way to comfortable and relaxed to be working hard.

“He’s got a stunt heavy day today so wanted to go easy this morning.”

Now that was a bloody joke. You were BOTH filming the SAME scene today, doing the SAME stunts.

“Did I forget to mention Y/n is on set too?” The joy in Tom’s voice made you want to do horrible things to him. Even though you felt like you wanted to collapse on the floor, you’d happily do a set or two on a punch bag right now - if that punch bag was Tom’s face.

Before you could hurl some fresh abuse at your costar, Duffy called time on the rowing machine, turning the display off and passing your water bottle over as you slouched on the slidey seat.

“Done good Y/n/n, I am actually super impressed with your progress” The stocky man patted you on the back genuinely, bringing a bit of smile to your otherwise grimacing face. He went over the chat to Tom about some boy shit that you couldn’t care less about, allowing you a couple minutes to get your breath back. As soon as you did and tried to dismount the machine of death, your ruined legs seemed to have other plans, shakily buckling so you ended up starfished on the floor, groaning at the dull ache that came with the sudden movement.

And what show of concern did Duffy show you? A belly laugh that echoed round Toms indoor gym making you groan again, throwing your forearm over your eyes. It was in fact the curly haired brunette, who came and knelt by your side, wordlessly balling up the towel and placing it under your head as you shot your eyes open in shock.

“You okay? Sorry… I might’ve taken our friendly competition a bit too far.”

“I just… just might have to gain the power of flight this afternoon cos my legs aren’t gonna bloody work.” Tom chuckled and shook his head at your dry humour.

“Oh I’m sure we can talk to Jon and get that arranged… not like Marvel don’t spend years crafting the script and storyline for a newbie actor to change it all.”

“Might I remind you… they wouldn’t have to if your weren’t such a dickhead!” You exclaimed, sitting up and staring at him with an exasperated look than only made him burst out laughing again.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry… I just cant take you seriously when you look like such a tomato!” His voice went an octave higher as he laughed at himself, the situation getting even worse for you when you heard Duffy join in too.

The boy was bloody lucky you couldn’t lift your arms right now, otherwise they’s almost certainly be attempting to ruin his pretty boy face.

/////////////////////////////

After a long day of shooting you and Tom were in one of the set buggies, being taken back to your trailers to change for the evening. There was a peaceful silence until Tom ruined it yet again.

“ Got any fancy plans for this evening then?”

“Well you know me, back to my lonely little old place and frozen pizza - so living the movie star life.”

“It’s a Friday! You not going out with your team or anything?” He sounded so bemused at your quiet plans, and mention of a ‘team’ had you cocking your head to the side.

“‘My team?’ Tom until I get my movie star pay check I can barely afford my pizzas, never mind a whole persons wage.” You were still only three weeks into filming and although you spent an hour every other morning sweating your ass off with Tom - apart from that you’d tried not to impose yourself on him too much. You didnt want to look clingy and naturally Tom always had a mountain of people vying for his attention - you would go to the back of a long line. So honestly, you were still a bit of a mystery to him, right now you’d both only scratched the surface on each other.

“Really? I know this is your first big job but I thought you’d have someone here?”

“Nah… I mean I’ve kinda clung to the Marty on the camera crew but he’s going to see family tonight sooo.”

“Come back to mine. I’ve swapped Harry for his twin Sam, which is a bit of an upgrade cos Sam’s a chef. He just arrived last night. I bet he can one up any pizza you were planning on.”

“Honestly I don’t want to impose, sorry I didnt mean for this to be a pity party or-“ The buggy slowed to a stop and Tom instantly vaulted out of it, standing right infront of you and blocking you exist off the back sofa. Both of you were still in costume, Tom in latex and you in your corset-esque two piece, but then both wrapped in matching long line black jackets supplied by set.

“No come on I’m serious… Sam’s dying to meet you and it’d be good to spend more time together. You know, cos of chemistry and all.” The last bit was a switch from his cool and smooth, normally easy going tone - into something a bit more… anxious? Just like that, before your brain even knew what it was doing, you agreed, smiling broadly and nodding.

So barely an hour later, you were knocking on the doors to Tom’s mansion-ish rented Atlanta home which was much much more grand than what the studio had arranged for you. Even though you were here most mornings, this time it felt different. Yeh it was stupid, but you can’t help the way you feel and you were stressed. For no real reason… just, just because.

Thankfully, it wasn’t awkward at all and you especially instantly hit it off with his younger brother Sam. Everything just felt easy and simple which meant so much more considering you’d felt so isolated an alone halfway across the world for your home comforts. Being British too, simply chatting to the two young men about your hometown and growing up was just so familiar, it really helped you feel less homesick. Naturally too, you’d fallen into a casual and friendly ribbing of Tom with Sam, making the three of you spend to majority of the evening cracking up (or in Tom’s case pouting at the abuse). It was a nice change from the two on one attack you got from Tom and Duffy that morning. You’d all cooked dinner together… well no, you and Tom had stood idly watching Sam cook an amazing chicken curry dish - which he promised to give you the recipe too. Honestly Sam felt like your long lost best friend, especially when it came to your shared ability to berate Tom for anything and everything.

About an hour ago Tom had stuck on the film, effectively shutting up you and Sam - thankfully for him since Sam was just about to get to some rather embarrassing stories of Tom as a kid. You and Tom were on the longer grey sofa; with Sam sat the other side of the coffee table in an impressively soft armchair - looking as though it was swallowing the lanky boy. The calm, the silence and the comfort was only going to go one way for you though. After your workout this morning, plus all the running and jumping during the shoot, after what had already been a pretty intense week, it was hardly surprising that you didn’t even notice yourself drifting off the sleep.

Who did notice though? Perhaps your brown haired costar who’d been stealing glances across to you ever since the movie had been put on? Because as much as he hated to admit it to himself, this didnt seem to be panning out as a normal job. A normal job is something you put your all into, for a couple weeks, and then leave with good memories and a good pay check. Yes, he had only known your for a matter of weeks or so but it already seemed to be unfathomable to cut ties with you. How would he go without your kind mannered abuse everyday? You were just refreshing, new and mysterious. And Tom was more than intrigued, his interest was peaked.

And it was stupid to feel like that…. Of course it was. You can’t fancy a colleague because things get complicated and awkward. Tom knew that.

Then why was he now delicately draping a blanket over your frame and smiling smally when you hummed in your sleep, in what seemed to be a show of appreciation for the layer of warmth?

Because you were his excited puppy of a costar who is giving everything she has for the job? Because he is worried and wants to look after you? Because he cares?

No matter why, in that moment you were contented and as was Tom. Oh and Sam?

Sam saw the tell tale signs in his brother. He saw the way Tom had been touching your arm or the small of your back just a little more than what would be considered normal while he’d been cooking. He’d seen the way Tom had been laughing purely because you had. His eldest brother never did anything rash, it was always a painfully slow process for everyone involved. But Sam thought this just might be the start of something. The start of a slow burn.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tomholland #Tom Holland angst #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x you #sam holland

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nemesis-mess · 4 years

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Challenge 1: First one down

A / N: No excuses I know is late but... translating a whole fic is a nightmare, thanks to @lady-indiana for the rp and the amazing opportunity to know her character, also thanks to @arin-schreave for the interesting interview.

enjoy it!

word count: 4523

The only thing that surrounded me was darkness, the pain in my chest was unbearable, I struggled, screamed and fought desperately trying to get rid of the grip of those hands that pressed on my neck leaving me breathless and ending with any trace of life that was left , I knew that none of my efforts or attempts to get rid of those hands would work, it was clear I just had to ...

wake.

I woke up suddenly, disoriented, airless and scared, in the middle of that huge bed witness of my night torments, I carefully ran my hands down my neck making sure that all that had

Three taps on my door startled me a little even when I already knew what it meant, my door opened and the three beautiful women who worked for the palace entered my room.

"Lady Nemesis are you alright?" Asked the girl with black hair and eyes named Selene, one of my maids.

I looked down at my hands and took a deep breath before I nodded affirmatively at her as a response.

"Lady Nemesis we have to prepare you for today, it's a special occasion" a dreamy sigh came from the lips of Samantha who looked at me with illusion, her eyes radiated joy, I could clearly notice that she was too excited about it, Giselle otherwise just nodded at Samantha's comment.

"It has nothing about special" I said honestly as I got out of bed and walked in the direction of the bathroom to take a shower.

I came out wrapped in a towel and the three girls started working on my makeup, hair and clothes, a whole process that I didn't think was as long or as elaborate, but in the end it was much more complex than I thought, the three of them walked around me applying products on my face, brushing my hair and choosing my wardrobe, but at leats that complicated process gave its results because when I saw myself in the mirror I was undoubtedly surprised.

One of the few things that worried me was that they would try to gradually turn me into a princess, but my maids were right with their decisions, the girl in the reflection was me.

I opened the doors of the room wide, I arrived a few minutes after the others selected but it was something that didn't matter, I took me few seconds to see the room in detail and scan the whole place with my eyes, without a doubt I was beautifully decorated tall windows to let in the bright sunlight, carefully crafted pictures, huge chandeliers, and a whole host of other things that made the dining room look like something out of a movie but the truth is that how the palace looked was my least concern, there were several tables arranged in the room, so I walked with a sure step to the seat that had surely been assigned to me. It didn't cost me much to find it. It was in the middle of the filmmaker girl and the nature girl, little did I knew about the selecteds and little did I wanted to know since I didn't need them to do my job.

The murmur of the voices of the selecteds was silenced at the moment the princess safiya entered the room denoting a certain air of elegance and security, she offered a smile in a polite way while standing in the middle of the room with a clipboard in front with both hands "Good morning. I'm sure you're all ... eager to start seeing as you're meeting my brother shortly, so I'll try to keep this brief." An ironic smile formed on my face when I listened to Safiya, she could not be wrong if she was talking about the other girls, but I was sure that meeting the prince didnt make me eager in any way, assuming how we felt was a big mistake . Safiya continued, lifted the clipboard to scan what was on there "Normally, someone else would be leading these lessons, but I was asked to be a replacement. Let's begin."

I sighed lightly exasperated, aware of what was coming.

Let's start with this little nightmare called etiquette lessons.

Safiya began to read the script she was holding "I hope you all had a restful first night in the palace because now our work begins. Today I will ..."

Bla bla bla I stop paying attention to Safiya's words a few seconds after she had started, everything was so boring and irrelevant, royalty was definitely ridiculous in a undescriptible sense and nobody could deny it, so I would rather concentrate on reading the body language of the selected that surrounded me, although that it was not a very funny action I can assure that it was better than listening to the stupidities of how to behave around people who in the end turned out to be the same as anyone, but the presence of someone new in the room distracted my attention of analyzing work.

Felicity was there with all of us in the room, in front of me was the protagonist of Arin's "drama", the face that is and was the cover of numerous magazines, that of which whispers were still heard in the hallway, in front of us and looking at us with her brown eyes was the prince's ex-fiancée.

Safiya was probably just as surprised as everyone but began to exchange whispers with Felicity, not giving much importance to the presence of 35 girls around her.

"My sister sent someone to replace her. Lucky for us" she said muttered before looking at her clipboard to continue with the boring lesson.

The only thing that crossed my mind in the middle of the whole lesson was how irrelevant this really was, how it was possible that sitting or eating at the table was much more important than teaching the selecteds something they really needed, the etiquette lessons were the perfect definition of wasting time.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't pay attention to absolutely anything again, the last thing I heard and that for me was the sign that the lessons were already over was the hypocritical "and don't forget I'm here to help you" of felicity, unfortunately it didn't sound very sincere to me or to anyone who had the slightest use of reason.

It didn't take long for me to be guided to a nearby room, a beautiful room but in which I could only look at the enormous number of cameras willing to judge and analyze all kinds of interaction between Arin and me, at the end of the day the country had to get a little distracted and what better way to do it than by showing them closely the selection process that was basically a reality show.

After seeing the cameras I out my eyes in the prince, the one I had seen countless times. When I got close the first thing Arin did was direct his eyes to the name tag that I was wearing and he started to greet me "Good morning, Lady Nemesis, please have a seat" with his right hand he gestured towards the sofa.

Without hesitation, I sat down and directed my gaze at the guy in front of me "Good morning ... Arin? Prince arin? Your highness?" I answered his greeting politely, but the other words came out of my mouth with a large dose of sarcasm "How do you want me to call you?" I gave him a fake little smile with this last question.

He sat next to me and shifted his body to face me "Whatever makes you most comfortable is fine with me." In that case Arin would be. He pulled at his cuffs which to me was a desperate way of showing that he was relaxed when he was clearly tense "How has your morning been?"

I frowned at his question "My morning ?, Do you really want to know or this is just a protocol you have to follow with all the girls?" I spoke without holding what I thought, his question sounded forced and prepared as if it were predetermined, many people could take it as something common and an act of good education but I noticed instantly that it was not just that. I stopped for a moment and looked him in the eyes filled with an insatiable curiosity "but most interesting how is your morning going?" I rested my head on my right hand waiting for his answer, I was sure that interviewing 35 girls among whom your future wife was probably, was something that should make your morning different and interesting.

Arin looked at me and blinked slightly surprised but a smile formed on her lips, a smile that seemed genuine "My morning is going well, thank you. Did you sleep well?"

A little chill ran through my entire body as I remembered the nightmare I had "No, despite the big room and the amazing beed this place is not as comfortable as it seems" I was partially honest it wasn't just about being uncomfortable in the palace, It was about those nightmares that had been making my nights difficult for a long time. I ran my hands over my dress and looked at it.

"I'm sorry to hear that" no you don't. Arin frowned and looked at the cameras (which I had forgotten about for a moment) before looking at me again "Which province are you from?"

I thought about it for a few seconds, it was almost as if I had been left blank by that easy question "Columbia ..." I replied skeptically.

He simply nodded and continued, "How are you liking Angeles in comparison?".

What kind of questions were those, boring, monotonous and above all, empty, I had noticed at first but now it almost seemed really like Arin had prepared a script. I sighed and a small smile formed at the corner of my lips "Arin ... do you really want to know all this crap?" I looked him in the eyes clearly surprised "are you supposed to meet your wife this way?" I pointed to the cameras that were recording each of our movements, making reference to the fact that it was the emptiest way of meeting what was supposed to be his future wife, I lowered my hand and settled it on my lap, but now it was my eyes that talked and said that I was outraged "believe I'm enjoying this as much as you do"

He shifted uncomfortably "I'm sorry, Lady Nemesis. What do you prefer to talk about?"

I probably just bothered Arin but I wasn't going to keep quiet about something I didn't feel was right or made me feel even a little uncomfortable, yet he didn't have to bear the blame for it completely "Don't be sorry about anything " I looked at the ceiling as if somehow magically this would help me find the words I was looking for" I want to know about you, I like believe there's something else in there ... a human being "and although the last thing I said sounded a bit rude , I really meant it. I relaxed on the sofa couch, I spread my legs a little and decided to forget about everything they told me in the etiquette lessons they gave us about an hour ago "what makes you you?"

He was really puzzled by my question and frowned more in confusion "You already know the most important things about me. I know hardly anything about you."

He had not understood.

"No, I don't" I wrinkled my nose, now I was the one who was surprised. I was little interested in what the magazines or television said, I knew that everything was exaggerated or lacking of truthfulness but he was not willing to show me much beyond that ... not now. "the same things you know about me are the same things I know about, but I get it I went too deep to be the first time i know you" What was on that sheet of paper in which I applied to the selection said exactly the same real information that I knew about Arin, even less, so in the end he could knew more about me than I did about him. I Looked at my nails as an instinct for evasion and muttered "it's a bad habit" used all my life to find information about people, to read them, to know them was something I had gotten used to.

Arin paused, clearly thinking of what to say "Well, the best way to get to know me is with question ..." yes and no ... he paused again and blurted out the next question "What do you do in your province? "

I put my index fingers in the middle of my hesitating lips, that was the kind of generic question that for many people would be easy to answer, but for me it was the kind of question I preferred to avoid, so I chose to be partially honest again. "mmm just some dirty work" run my hand through my hair carefully so as not to ruin my maids work "what do you do here in angeles?"

He sat up a bit more straight, you could still see from far that he was tense and that the scene of the interview made him feel everything except comfortable "I mostly attend meeting. I don't have time for much else."

"I think this selection came in the perfect moment to spicy your life a bit" flicked my tongue and look around "I'm sure it's time to break that comfort zone a bit" ... and it was true, things happen in a perfect way and at a perfect time and this selection was what Arin without being very aware of it needed in his life, Arin needed a change of this measure in his life.

He nodded at my words "Maybe it did come at a good time." He looked at his watch and then he looked at me, which for me was the clearest sign that the little time we had at our disposal had ended "It's been a pleasure, Lady Nemesis" He stood "I hope you enjoy your stay in the palace. "

I got up from the sofa and went to the door of the room but before I left I turned around and saw Arin standing there with an expression difficult to read "Good luck with ..." I looked around and a big smile formed on my lips "whatever this is".

I turned around and felt his gaze on me, until the door closed behind me and welcomed me back to the wonderful dining room where those finely decorated tables were positioned, with flowers, silverware and full of selecteds that exchanged words between them and filled the room with a soft murmur from which I couldn't escape.

As breakfast was a buffet, I prepared to take the food I wanted, a little bread, fruit, coffee and anything that looked delicious was on my plate, took the seat assigned to me and prepared myself to eat until that something slightly distracted my attention, on my right side filmmaker girl sat where it belonged and when I tried to continue with my breakfast a word came from her lips.

"hi!" She greeted with great enthusiasm a broad smile directed at me.

I turned my head and looked at her curiously because I didn't consider such a sudden approach normal "hi ...?" I took deep breath as a way to relax a little bit as I felt slightly tense "mmmm you are the filmmaker girl, right?"

My words seemed to annoyed or overwhelmed her as her smile narrowed a bit and she looked taken back "Yeah, that's me. You're ... Nemesis ... right?".

"Yeah that's me" I held out my hand to her politely introducing myself "filmmaker girl is not such a nice way to call you, your name is ...?" I looked her straight in the eyes waiting for her answer.

She took my hand without hesitating, not even a second. "I'm Indiana, but you can call me Indie. It's nice to meet you too." Her gaze fell on the other four tables in the room "This is pretty wild, right?".

If i was being able to have the freedom to call her by her nick name, she also deserved the possibility of calling me by mine "If that's the case you can call me Mess" my gaze followed hers and I took the trouble to see all the girls in the room again "it doesn't impress me, just a bunch of girls desperate to fit in the royalty" I looked at my nails for a few seconds and then I looked at indie "I guess that doesn't sounds nice, tell me indie what do you want in here? " the curiosity of knowing why she was there in the palace and in the middle of a selection was something that gave me some curiosity and I wasn't going to deny myself the opportunity to find it out.

A small spark of amusment could be saw in her eyes combining with intrigue for what I said earlier "Well, I guess I came to look for ... love."She shooked her head and her words began to slair faster "I don't know, that probably sounds cheesy. But, really, I want to make a change in this world, for the better. And the way to do that is by being here. I don't ... I've never really had a family or anyone really close to me. So, if love happens along the way ... " I listened carefully to every word that came out of her mouth . Indie shrugged with a laugh that seemed almost like she was trying to soften her words "That would be nice." she squinted her nose and her smile took a playfully touch "And how about you? You aren't impressed by the girls here, so what sets you apart?"

She definitely sounded cheesy, but with her words were honest and I really aprecciate that.

"I have to admit that sounds cheesy" At that time I was the one with the playful smile "but it's a good reason" The following was said in a lower and calm voice "oh ... indie don't take me wrong, is not that I'm not impressed by the girls even though is true, is just that this situation as unusual as it is, it doesn't really impressed me " I fixed my hair and put it on my shoulders with great care" I ' m not different to any of these girls, at the end nothing sets apart of them "I giggled because it was ironically true" look at me, I'm here with a dress trying to fit into the royalty "And finally I cringed resigned shoulders.

"I suppose we are all trying to fit in, huh? It is pretty ... intimidating."

"Mmmm I would not say intimidating, I think is more ... fascinating, is watching the human being adapt itself, we were made for this" I started to play with the fork almost unconsciously and let the little emetal utensil slide through my hand "but if it doesn't bother you let's stop talking about this whole situation tell me more about you" keep talking about the selection the only thing that would cause would be something inside me to shake. I put my head aside and gave way to my next question "what filmmaking provides you that makes you love it that much?"

She widenned her eyes again by the directness of my statement, but still smiling, also she looked slightly impressed by my forwardness "Um, it's not a problem. "Filmmaking ... filmmaking is everything to me. I mean without it, I certainly wouldn't be sitting here right now."

"Let me tell you that that is a really strong statement, I guess it provides you more than what you can express"

Indie nodded when she listened to my statemente and I realized I hit the right spot.

That feeling, that passion that indie felt for filmaking was something that I fully understood but on my scale. For a few seconds I was aware of my actions and stopped my tinkering with the fork, if safiya saw me I would definitely be report and ... some nonsense that would make me uncomfortable and angry in the end would happen "is just the start of this ... thing and I 'm already making mistakes " the stress was noticeable in my voice "please tell me I'm not the only one hating this manners things "

"Trust me, you aren't the only one. The only reason I have any idea about what I'm doing right now is because when I got sponsored to a three, my sponsors forced me to take etiquette lessons. Not nearly as intense as these, but still ... " Indie rolled her eyes, a funny expression but that graphically couldn't describe better how I felt about the manners "they are a pain to learn. And to do. "

when I got sponsored ... were words that stuck in my memory.

"I'm not sorry for what I'm going to say but etiquette lessons are useless, they're just made to please others" I sighed annoyed remembering this morning's lesson, but the fact that I could speak it and say it out loud to someone was as if a weight was taken from me, it was something I needed to say before explote at a bad time "the crown should have more important thing to focuse on it, so I agree they are absolutely a pain to learn and to do "

I flicked my tongue and blurted out another question, I wasn't to be left with the doubt "you were a four?

"Well ... actually I was a six. And then I got sponsored to a three. Now I'm a two."

oh ... wait ... a six?.

"Well ... that's a pretty big change" It didn't bother me showing that I was impressed and I was sure that adjusting to such a change shouldn't be easy for absolutely anyone, including her "I guess it has been a good one, surely you have a good perspective of life ".

She nodded a little "It sure has been an interesting life." The curiosity was more than clear in her voice and in her face "Anyways, how about you? What do you do?".

The question.

Again.

I gave indie a smile full of confidence and it was that my next words were not a lie, what I was going to say was a honest and right "what do I do?" I sighed "I'm sure that's something you don't want to know ... or anyone and if you need some piece of advice is better if you stops asking" my smile took a friendly air at the end.

What I do was not only difficult to explain, it's also private and saying it could get me in trouble at the palace.

She squinted playfully, It wasn't the reaction I expected, I expected ... something different, but I liked her reaction "Oh, now I'm definitely intrigued. After all, a character that doesn't reveal their backstory at first, always has the best one. "

That was definetly a very good way to see it.

"You may be right but at the end we would never know" I raised an eyebrow and what came out was not exactly a question "first impression about him"

"Well, he seems a little ... hesitant. But, very kind. He was for me, anyway. What about you?"

"Mmmm I don't know, it was interesting ... you know?" I looked at indie because in my head there were a million thoughts and ideas fluttering ithat I needed to organize before continuing to speak "it's like he's trying to hide himself" I took a sip of juice and shrugged "or maybe I I'm overthinking it and is just how he is "

"I kind of got the same vibe. He seemed nervous, I guess. Polite and everything, but it'll be nice to get to know him better. It's hard to know someone after one short conversation."

"He presented himself as how he is for the public, for the cameras, and everyone knows that's just a mask, you're right when you say is hard to know someone after one short conversation but is enough to get a good taste of who is going to be around you" Arin had shown himself to me as he was on TV or in a magazine and deep down I knew there was much more than that. I bit a strawberry and gave myself a chance to enjoy its flavor. "I guess I'm talking too much"

"No! Don't say that! It has been fun talking to you. And anyways, this conversation has been somewhat short, and I already think we should be friends." She smiled but... did she say we should be friends?

"Wow" I looked at her and showed her that her proposal had been impressive for me. I wasn't used to being offered a friendship in such a short time and much less in the middle of what was a competition "friends?". I cleared my throat and looked at her making sure she was serious "Don't get me wrong but you are conscious of what you are saying?"

Her gaze dropped to her hands and she was slightly confused but dispite the confusion and negative impact my words could create she smiled "I mean ... we don't have to be ... if you don't want to. You seem nice though, and you are very intriguing to me." She squitend playfully "Why? Is there a reason we shouldn't? After all, you wouldn't even tell me what you do for a living."

Plus that, having a friendship was having to eventually open with her, let her know a little more about me and if things went well in the end she would end up finding out about my work, something that I supposed a person like her would not like it much.

"I'm not saying that we shouldn't be friends" I said giving her a questioning look "I'm just impressed, nice is not a word with people usually describe me" I raised one of my eyebrows and smirked "there's a lot of reasons but that's up to you "In my consciousness it was clear that I had made the necessary warnings.

"Well then, we should be friends." She nodded reassuringly.

It was clear that she didn't take a minute to think about her answer, but it was better that way, it was better if she let herself go.

"Feeling risky today?" I reached out my hand again but this time representing that we were closing some kind of deal "I like that".

Indie shaked my hand with a chuckle. She had accepted "I'll admit that you are slightly terrifying, but I don't think you give yourself enough credit. It's refreshing, and you are nice."

"Slightly terrifying, refreshing and nice" I muttered to myself, I laughed and nodded a little, I liked the terms she used, the perception that indie had of me was different and I liked that "you girl are filling me of curiosity, I'm dying to see how this thing goes. " I looked at indie squinting "and I'm referring to everything".

#nemesis lincer #challenge 1 #theselectionoc #selectionoc6 #selectionoc #covid-19 #((I HATE TRANSLATING))

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