#and using this blog as a shouting void

[squeakadeeks]

So baby shouting notwithstanding, it's been a minute since we got a squeaks update, how you holding up chief?

oh for sure, especially since the last update was "oops i am literally dying" and i am decisively, not dead.

july/august was absolute rock bottom in that regard. the fears and concerns i shared here about the situation were very much real, but in what was finally a change for the better, in sept/up till now things have been steadily improving. im still sick as hell and i have a number of serious issues persisting, but it's certainly up from the "haha discussing hospice care" levels where it was this summer.

outside of that I joined a new lab and got started much more actively on research and its been very enriching. INCREDIBLY exhausting especially considering the above context but its been nice to find something in grad school that feels like a better fit.

mental health has been ok, ive been trying (with limited success) to limit my exposure to social media sites that I know are upsetting, and I'd like to do more art again in the forms of plushies/sculpting/illustration while still trying to find a good balance with cosplay. ie back to normal everyday issues which let me tell yall feels like a downright blessing

[soupbitch-moneybitch]

throwaway line from my fic that is the most accurate stede description i've ever come up with:

"fruity as a fruit basket. a fruity fruit basket-case, if you will"

dat him

[tardis--dreams]

The french subtitles are getting it so right i should switch to french in order to avoid killing myself out of frustration over the Sie/du distinction

[the-lone-wolffe]

Ok I caved and decided to give an art blog a try. It's mainly just reuploads atm because I have nothing new to share but if you wanna follow it, it's @wolffe-makes-art!

Also it /is/ shared between this blog and my fandom blog so expect both fandom and original content.

[camgoloud]

my pitch to spotify is that they should really implement some kind of method to “chain” two tracks together so that you can put a playlist on shuffle and still have those two songs always play back to back. this post is joint-sponsored by the hundredth time i’ve had to go in and manually rearrange my queue so that eclipse plays after brain damage and the thousandth time i’ve had to go in and manually rearrange my queue so that amie plays after falling in and out of love

[e-n-t-r-o-p-i-c-f-r-o-g]

I'm all up in my FEELS 😭😭 If you're a fan of prog rock and you haven't heard this, I bet you'll go nuts. Also the vocals...and the crescendo toward the end...it tickles my brain in the best way. It's so unique.

[sketchy-tour]

A silly thing to randomly say maybe but I was thinking about it again. Yall are always free to take silly inspiration from my artstyle/the way I draw. I feel like trying to imitate cool things you see others do in art is a big part of the process in learning how you like to create and do things. So ye, if you ever feel bad for taking some light inspo off of my art aesthetics, don't! As long as you're not outright tracing or reposting, I really don't mind!

[pinchinschlimbah]

Throwing this out into the universe in case someone can answer it-

What’s the deal with Die from Dir en Grey referring to himself as “the big gurl” on his instagram posts? Is this something he just started doing without explanation? Is it a reference to something? Or genuinely how he’s identifying himself these days as his appearance has gotten more feminine? And what’s with the chicken legs? Pls advise thank youuu

[a-gay-little-cat]

me seeing the tags about people liking tiger

[sukunasstarlight]

Bats my lashes at you Hi

[littlenim]

it's insane the degree to which the fighting mechanics in RGG Gaiden feel the best of any in the series, especially on boss fights. it's like after years of trying they've fine tuned the speed of heat buildup, blocking/dodging (maybe the soulsborne enjoyer in me speaking but i love the dodge roll), damage output and the amount of actions accessible to you. not to mention they've fixed the floatiness of past dragon engine combat and stuff feels like it has weight again. i also think they've found a decent way to reconcile the fact that bought upgrades in Y0 was the simplest method of doing the skill tree with the reality that Kiryu can't realistically have that much money anymore (the orbs/soul points in 3-5 were maddening).

boss fights actually flow now and i think the boss parry mechanic is a great and wayyyy less frustrating evolution of the kiwami health regen. instead of stalling the fight it presents a risk/reward with the payoff being a huge chunk of damage. my hugest beef with some past games is that some of the boss fights felt like endurance tests of chipping health because I couldn't seem to build heat quickly enough or do significant damage without the use of weapon items (most memorably i had a huge issue with this in Ryuji Goda 1 in K2 and Okada Izo 3 in Ishin). my most recent boss was Nishitani Homare III and it felt exhilarating and over in a very satisfying amount of time.

i'm aware that at least a small part of this is probably due to me gitting gud to some degree, and I haven't played the Judgement series but have been told the fighting felt great in the last one, so it's likely some of this isn't new to people who've played those, but to someone who's only played the mainline games and Ishin it feels like the culmination of years of testing all kinds of wall spaghetti. i hope that even if Kiryu is permanently retired after Infinite Wealth they take this system into another real-time beat-em-up game

[fortheturnstiles]

…

[prettytoxicrevolver]

how do y’all make friends and get anon asks all the time… i’m so lonely on this app i hate it :(

[bubblegumpumpkin]

.

[polksaladava]

my partner and i are buying our first house and let me tell u bitch this is STRESSFUL. owning property??? in this economy??? bonkers

also someone at work sent me the bitchiest email today and i’ve been pissed about it all day like how are you going to be mad at ME and CC your boss on an email to ME about you not being included on a meeting invite for a meeting i DID NOT OWN OR SCHEDULE OR LEAD. i swear corporate america just rots peoples brains. you get left off of meeting invites because you have a fake job title and add no value!!!! middle management is never needed and i’ll say that with my chest

[chestharrington]

Ok breakdown is still going crazy hours later. Anyways.

I feel like the entire world can see that I’m a fraud whenever I try to fit in and be normal. Like I have to pretend to be a different person around people bc I’m just not fucking normal. Like I feel like everyone can just fucking see through me and know I just don’t belong and like I’ve never fit in ever and I’ve always been an outsider and a loser.

Anyways I’ve been crying so hard all night I feel like I’m going to puke!!! I want to burn my life down and start over when i was small