#and when i say agony like it’s fine lol i’ve accepted it like six years ago.

[bleachersgirl]

she wrote this about the couple of months that she was single like taylor you absolutely cannot imagine the agony of being twenty five years old with zero romantic experience and zero prospects you would literally not last a day in my life babe

[pennylanefics]

Horror movies - Ben Hardy

a/n: as i said on monday, i watched Alien in my film and TV class, and got inspired to write this. again, sorry for the random imagine in between chapters, but i’m currently at a blank for chapter 16 :/ hope you like this!! 😊

summary: the group has a movie night, and joe decides on a horror movie, which you absolutely hate

warnings: spoilers?? Alien and the Fyre Festival documentary (kinda lol) the beginning is a little rough, but it gets better :)

•••

Joe and Rami were visiting London for a week or so, and that of course meant a reunion of the cast. You were invited because you were dating Ben, but also because you grew super close with everyone else when you visited him on set. Sometimes he would have a scene to shoot or a drum lesson, and you would sit and talk to Gwil, Allen, Lucy, and Joe in the meantime.

Everyone chose to meet up at Gwilym’s place at around five. There would be pizza, beer, wine, cake, pretty much anything you’d get for a regular party. Then, to end the night, you would all sit and watch a movie or two together. You were so excited to finally be reunited with the others and catch up on what you’ve missed. Although you, Gwil, and Lucy see each other all the time due to living relatively close to each other; well, you live with Ben, but still.

“Hey love, you ready to go?” Ben peeped his head in your shared bedroom as you just finished slipping your shoes on. You nodded and gathered your things and shoved it all in your purse. You followed Ben downstairs as he grabbed his keys and put his shoes on.

“Okay, let’s go.” He led you out to the car and opened the passenger side door for you. Quietly thanking him, you sat and buckled up, preparing for the craziness of the night. The ride was short and you two arrived in less than ten minutes. Ben, again, opened your door and helped you out. You two walked up to the door and knocked quietly, waiting to be let in.

“(Y/N), Ben! It’s nice to see you again!” Gwilym pulled you in for a hug while Ben stepped inside. After Gwil let you go, he pulled Ben in for a “bro hug.”

“We saw each other the other day for lunch, but I guess it’s good to see you again,” Ben pointed out, chuckling as he pulled away. You ran over to Lucy and Jessica, who were quietly chatting on the couch. They both got up to greet you with hugs, and after, you sat down with them and joined in a new conversation.

“How have you and Ben been?” Jessica asked as Lucy now sat next to Rami, who just arrived.

“We’ve been good. We just celebrated five years together the other day, which is crazy to think about. I can’t believe it’s been so long,” you told her as she smiled widely and congratulated you two on your anniversary.

“How’d you guys meet? I don’t think I’ve ever heard the story?”

“I visited the Eastenders set with my friend, who happened to be a series regular, Jacqueline. She played Lauren. She was showing me around and she introduced me to Ben. He was still relatively new to the show, and I stayed to watch a few takes, and he was so amazing. Honestly, better actor than the guy who played his dad,” you joked, laughing lightly. Jessica shook her head with a small grin on her face.

“But, Jacqueline had to shoot a scene and Ben had wrapped for the day, so he offered to finish showing me around set. He showed me all of the backstage stuff, it was really nice. He was just so easy to talk to and was so friendly. After we finished, he asked if I’d like to go out sometime, on a date. I couldn’t say no, he was so freaking adorable. He looked like a sad and lost puppy dog, he was so nervous. And the rest is history, obviously.” You finished your story, a few tears making their way to your eyes. Jessica ‘awed’ and rubbed your shoulder, saying how sweet of a story it is. You caught Ben’s gaze from across the room, where he stood talking with Gwilym, Joe, and Allen. He winked and smiled softly at you, causing the three other men to turn around and see what he was doing.

They all excitedly waved at you, huge smiles on their faces as they made fun of their lovesick friend. You went back to talking with Jessica before Allen came over and stole her from you. Since Ben was still talking with the Joe and Gwil, you decided to get some pizza from the kitchen. You grabbed a plate and got a cup of water, knowing that Ben was planning on drinking, well, he already was.

You sat at the kitchen table alone, since everyone was indulged in their own groups and conversations; you didn’t want to interrupt any catching up amongst the others. So, you sat and ate your pizza while playing some game on your phone to pass the time. About five minutes later, Ben walked into the kitchen and noticed you with your back towards him.

“Love? Why are you in here alone?” He walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head. You shrugged against his body and looked down at your empty plate.

“Didn’t want to bother or interrupt anyone while you all are catching up,” you said quietly. Ben removed himself from you and kneeled down beside you.

“Are you joking, (Y/N)? The cast loves you so much, I actually think the guys love you more than they love me,” he joked, trying to lift your mood. It’s not that you were sad or upset, you just didn’t want to come in the way of Ben spending time with his friends. Sure, they were your friends too, bu he grew so close with them during filming, and you know it made the entire process easier on him.

“They do,” you joked back, laughing lightly at Ben’s reaction.

“Come on, we’re going to watch a movie now.” You accepted Ben’s hand as he stood and walked with you to the living room. You hadn’t realized it was completely dark out now, and to set the mood, the lights in the living room were turned off, so it was just the TV lighting up the room. Ben pulled you to sit down on the recliner with him, knowing how much you loved sitting on his lap and cuddling into his body. The rest sat on the couch, which was big enough to hold six people, comfortably.

“What movie did you choose?” Ben asked as Joe pressed play to begin the movie.

“You’ll see,” he casually.

“I swear if we’re watching Jurassic Park, Undrafted, or The Social Network, I’m leaving,” Ben retaliated, The entire group laughed, including you as you cuddled closer to Ben. You reached up to kiss his cheek softly, a small gesture that told him, “you’re cute.”

“Or The Pacific, then YOU’RE leaving Joe,” Gwilym said to his friend sitting right next to him. Joe sighed loudly and jokingly went to turn the TV off.

“No, no it’s not. It’s old, but it’s good. Also, did you know Rami and I did The Pacific together?” Gwilym loudly groaned and rolled his head back in annoyance, but was cut off by the opening titles to the movie.

You intensely watched, trying to figure out what Joe picked. Everything was fine, until you saw the title.

Alien.

Your heart started to race, knowing that it’s essentially a horror movie, which you absolutely hate. No one knows this, not even Ben. You were scared to tell him in fear of getting judged or questioned. You were 25 years old and hate scary movies. Thankfully, every time you and Ben had movie nights, he strayed away from horror, besides Beetlejuice because that’s a classic, and a little bit of a comedy movie.

You instinctively shuffled even closer towards Ben, if that’s even possible; you were practically glued to him. He sensed this, but didn’t question it; you always get cuddly and affectionate when you’re tired, which he could see that you were.

“You alright, love?” Ben whispered in your ear. You nodded against his chest and continued watching the opening credits, which were too long for your liking.

The beginning was fine. It was just a few members of a space crew, trying to return home when they stop on some moon. The only thing that made you happy was that there was a cat in the opening scene.

Then, everything went downhill.

Three members of the crew go out and explore the moon, looking for the distress signal they received. What you weren’t expecting was the jump scare when Kane tries to open one of the eggs in the belly of some ship. That’s when your anxiety heightens. You shield your eyes and hide your face in Ben’s neck, who giggles softly at your reaction, not knowing how terrified you actually were.

Once the loud noise and music quiets down, you open your eyes and look back to the screen, to see Kane’s entire face covered by that alien. Your heart speeds up even more as the characters explain what it’s doing. You take a deep breath and settle back down into Ben’s chest.

Then, everything is fine again. They all go back and try to figure out what to do, all of them of course are scared for their friend. You as well were fine, until the most famous scene came up.

Kane was now awake, the alien having fallen off his face, and they were all enjoying a nice dinner before going to sleep. Nice at first, until Kane takes one bite and starts convulsing. Your eyes widen at first, then quickly shut when you realize what’s happening. You try to block your ears as well because his screams of pain and agony are horrifying. Your breathing increases as the scene continues, and finally, the “chestburster” pops out and escapes. Tears were now pooled in your eyes, your anxiety was at an all time high, and you weren’t sure you could sit through the rest of the movie, not knowing what would happen.

Once the scene was over, you looked up at the group, who seemed so engrossed in the film, which made you feel insecure, childish, and foolish. You took a deep breath and tried to continue watching it, but once Brett travels off by himself, trying to look for Jones, the cat, you knew something bad was going to happen. The music stopped, there was no noise other than Brett’s voice, and that’s when you decided you’ve had enough.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, babe,” you quietly said to Ben. He looked up at you with a slight worry in his eyes. He could feel your hands shaking, but he didn’t want to question it.

“The best part is coming up,” he said, pointing to the screen. You shook your head and ran off. That’s when the tears fell, and you couldn’t control them. Once you were in the bathroom, you quickly and quietly shut the door, and locked it. You fell to the ground as your knees gave out, leaning up against the door. Doing what you always do when you have an anxiety attack, you placed your head between your knees and softly rubbed the back of your neck.

You wished Ben was here to help you, but of course your own insecurities and fears got the best of you, and he had no idea how you were feeling.

As if he was reading your thoughts, a soft knock resonated through the room, vibrating against your body.

“Lovey? Are you okay?” Ben’s quiet and soothing voice asked. You sighed deeply and tried to stop your tears, but it was no use. Choosing comfort over embarrassment, you slowly and shakily stood to unlock and open the door and let Ben in. He quickly rushed in and shut the door, immediately pulling you into his arms and holding you close to him.

“Shhh, it’s alright, baby. It’s okay, you’re okay.” He continued to rub your back as he let you cry into his shoulder. After ten minutes of Ben whispering sweet nothings in your ear and stroking your back with his fingertips, you finally pulled away, but kept your eyes down in between your bodies.

“(Y/N), please look at me,” Ben asked quietly. You shook your head, but that plan was gone once Ben tucked his fingers under your chin and raised your head up.

“Baby?” He spoke softly, not wanting to upset you.

“I hate horror movies,” you admitted in a hushed voice. You felt extremely embarrassed and pathetic. Ben didn’t seem to mind your confession as he wiped away your tears with his thumb and softly stroked your hair, tucking a small piece behind your ear.

“Not everyone does, darling. Don’t feel bad or embarrassed, alright? Some genres aren’t for everyone,” he said, his green eyes boring into yours as he spoke, hand still running through your hair. You hummed softly and nodded, leaning into his hand.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked. You took a deep breath, deciding on what to do. You didn’t want to take Ben away from his friends because of your stupid little fear, but you also didn’t want to continue to watch that damn movie. Another thing, you didn’t want to force the others to stop watching it and switch to something more family friendly or comedic.

“(Y/N), we can go home if you want. Please don’t feel bad, baby.” He knew you so well, he could see you were debating on what to do.

“Yes, please,” you finally said, your voice strained from exhausted and from sobbing for minutes on end.

“It’s just, you aren’t going to be mad if we leave?” You questioned, scared that he was going to be upset with you.

“Of course not, baby. I don’t want you to sit here in fear, watching a movie you don’t want to. I’ll tell them you don’t feel good and we can go home and watch something else to get your mind off of this, yeah?” You nodded and wrapped your arms around his torso, holding him close to you in a very tight hug, something that always calmed you down when you had anxiety or panic attacks.

“I love you, baby. Let’s get going, alright?” You nodded again and pulled back, grabbing for his hand.

“I love you too, Ben. Always.” He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips, then opened the door and headed back to the living room.

“One more thing,” you stopped him before you reached the living room. He looked at you, eyes full of worry.

“Does Jones survive?” You asked quietly, dead serious. Ben chuckled quietly at your only concern, and how adorable you are.

“He does, darling. Don’t worry.” You let out a small sigh of relief, causing Ben to laugh again. He brought you into his arms and continued walking.

“Uh guys, we’re gonna head home. (Y/N)’s not feeling well, and she wants to rest for the night,” Ben announced to everyone, prompting Joe to pause the movie. Everyone said their well wishes for you to feel better, Gwilym and Joe rising to give you hugs. After you and Ben bid everyone a goodbye, you two hopped in Ben’s car, he offered to drive since he only had one drink and wasn’t even tipsy or buzzed.

—

“What do you want to watch, lovey?” Ben yelled at you from his spot on his bed. You were in the bathroom connected to his room, getting ready for bed. You had taken a shower to calm your anxiety, which helped a lot, and were now getting dressed in one of Ben’s shirts and a pair of shorts.

“Can we watch that Fyre Festival documentary? I have yet to watch it and everyone says it’s really good,” you suggested as you switched the bathroom and bedroom light off, hopping into bed with your boyfriend. He agreed and searched it up on his TV, and clicked play. You relaxed into the mattress and against Ben’s chest as he wrapped his arms around you comfortingly.

“I love you, baby girl. Are you feeling better?” He asked as the movie started. You nodded and quietly thanked him for helping you, and especially not judging you.

The documentary continued, and as much as you wanted to fall asleep, you stayed awake due to how interesting and crazy the entire thing was. After about an hour, though, you were fast asleep, unbeknownst to Ben.

Ben’s POV:

“How stupid is this guy to go out and commit even more fraud when he’s on bail, for fraud?” I asked (Y/N), in shock at the information in the documentary. When I didn’t receive a response, I looked down to see she was fast asleep. I smiled softly and shook my head, continuing to watch the TV.

Right before it was over, I felt my girlfriend start to shake. It was subtle at first, then it got worse. She also started to whimper quietly, and that’s when I noticed tears silently falling from her closed eyes.

“(Y/N)?” I shook her body gently, trying to wake her from the nightmare. Her whimpers grew louder and louder by the second, and I was starting to get terrified now.

“Baby. (Y/N), wake up, it’s just a dream!” I shook her shoulders more forcefully, trying to pull her from sleep. With a final shove, her eyes flew open, filled with terror and fear. She immediately fell into my arms, clutching at my body tightly. I did what I always do when she needs comfort, I held her close to my body, one hand sliding up under the shirt of mine she was wearing to stroke her back soothingly.

“Shhh, just a nightmare, s’alright, lovey,” I whispered in her ear. She shook as sobs violently wracked her body. I brought her on top of my body and wrapped both my arms tightly around her, keeping her close to me. I pressed soft kisses to her exposed neck and shoulder, trying to calm her down so we could go to sleep.

Well, sleep didn’t look like a possibility right now.

“Love, you want me to make you a cup of tea?” I asked as I stroked her hair. She nodded a little and moved so I could get up. Before I could walk two inches from the bed, (Y/N)’s hand wrapped around my wrist, and she moved to stand right next to me.

“I’m going with you, though,” she said. I grinned down at her and pulled her with me to the kitchen. She stood by my side the entire time I made the tea, but I didn’t mind; I hate seeing her like this. Once I was finished with our cups, I guided her to the living room and sat on the couch, motioning for her to join me.

“You going to be able to sleep tonight?” I asked after a silence was left between us. It was a comfortable silence, though. She shrugged and looked down at her cup.

“If you hold me all night, then maybe I will,” she said, looking up at me through her lashes. It wasn’t a suggestive look, or lustful look. It was vulnerable and loving. I smiled softly at her and reached over to rub her cheek.

“Anything for you, lovey.”

•••

taglist: @thewinchesterchronicles @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes @stfxlou @bohemian-war (i can’t remember if anyone else wanted to be on a permanent tag list, or be tagged in anything ben related. if so, just ask :))