Tumgik
#and yes i do apologize for that ending
dindjarindiaries · 1 year
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Security - Chapter 54: The Homeworld
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summary: Din and Astra make their way to the Mandalorian homeworld, where they find many surprises awaiting them.
warnings: canon-typical violence, references to trauma, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff
rating: T
word count: 6.424k
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chapter 54: the homeworld
Tatooine’s landscape is familiar to Din in a way that isn’t quite like home, but falls somewhere near it. The streets are heavily populated with people and speeders as the starfighter makes its descent into Peli’s hangar. Din exhales as he realizes what day it is: Boonta Eve, a holiday he never celebrated but often witnessed throughout his life spent in the Outer Rim.
Din glances back and smiles to himself at the sight of Astra sleeping with Grogu tucked under her chin. He’s relieved, as the emotional weight of their brief stop on Kalevala no doubt weighed heavily upon his wife. She needs all the rest she can get and Din’s trying his best to do the same. It’s hard not to admire his family in such a peaceful state, and this time, he spent most of it with his daughter who now sleeps in the space between his bandolier and his cuirass.
“Cyar’ika,” Din’s gentle with his call, regretful to wake her, “we’re here.”
Astra stirs with a deep breath that Din can hear over the intercom. “It’s like we never left,” she says.
Din chuckles at her words. They had definitely overstayed their welcome, but Boba Fett had been generous in letting their family stay as long as they needed to. That opportunity for his family to rest had made every injury Din sustained during the fight worth it.
As soon as the N-1 touches down in Peli’s hangar, Din can hear her voice shouting to him. “Whoo-hoo!” she whoops. “You hear that? She’s purring like a nuzzle shrew.”
Din slides his and Astra’s canopies open. “No complaints. Still faster than I know what to do with.”
“For better or for worse,” Astra adds, amused.
“Well, I’ll tune her up, just the same,” Peli assures them. She sets her hands on her belt and looks between them. “So, uh, where’s my guy? Huh?”
Astra lifts Grogu high enough for Peli to see him. He coos with joy as Peli does the same.
“There he is!” Peli lets out a surprised exclamation as Grogu leaps from Astra’s arms in a grand front flip. Din tries to suppress a laugh and somewhat succeeds, an action that starts to rouse Zora upon his armored chest. “Now who taught you how to leap like a Lurmen, huh?”
“It wasn’t us,” Astra jokes as she starts to stand. “Trust me.”
“Well, what about my other pal?” Peli gestures to Din as he rises with a gloved hand holding tight to Zora. She gasps with sweet delight. “Oh, my stars! She’s gotten so big!” Peli waves while Din offers a hand to Astra and helps her down. “Hi there, Zora!”
Zora smiles at Peli and then looks at Din. He’s just gotten to the ground when Zora taps his helmet and points. “Baba!” She takes a firm grip on the lip of his helmet and tries to pull it up. Din lifts a hand to push it back down and removes her grip in a gentle motion. He holds onto her tiny hand while Peli chuckles.
“You’re trying to show me your dad, aren’t you?” Peli asks Zora in a baby voice. Astra laughs as she sets a hand on Din’s pauldron and keeps it there. Din takes a quick moment to admire her and the bright shine he sees in her gaze.
“As much as I’d like to keep this reunion going,” Din speaks up, “we’re here on business.”
“Oh, are the Hutts back?” Peli questions. “Are you takin’ out Boba Fett?”
Din tilts his helmet at her. “We need a droid part.”
Peli rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Ugh. Boring!” She turns to shout at her droids. “Hey, get the Jawas back in here before they hit the cantina!” The pit droids set off and Peli faces Din and Astra again. “You know how Mos Eisley gets during Boonta week.” She lifts a hand to mock drinking and Din nods in understanding.
Astra gives Din’s shoulder a playful shrug. “Do you really, riduur?”
Din swings his helmet to look at her. “I… was younger then.” He clears his throat and focuses back on Peli, though he doesn’t miss the squeeze Astra gives his shoulder. “I’m looking for a replacement IG memory circuit.”
Peli gives Din a surprised look. “Oh. Hey, grandpa.” Astra laughs before she can suppress the sound with her hand. This time, Din deals her a playful shoulder shove. “They haven’t made those for a while.”
Peli guides them closer to a speeder she’s working on, where the Jawas meet them in the middle. When they stop in front of her, she speaks to them in Jawaese, ending her sentence with “memory circuit.” The Jawas make a few frustrated hand gestures before they run off again. Din and Astra share a look before Peli turns to them again. “Sorry, pal, no chance cubes.”
Din lifts his free hand in shock. “They can’t find the part?”
Peli shrugs. “Nope.”
Din gives Astra a worried stare and tightens his hand into a fist. “We need our droid fixed now.” Zora whimpers and Din starts to gently rock her, resisting the urge to apologize for his frustrated feelings.
“Which is why I think you should buy this beauty here.” Peli turns and slaps a hand on top of her R5-D4 unit, causing a piece of him to fly off completely. One of his circuits crackles with electricity that makes Din hold back a sigh.
“I can’t use an astromech,” Din reminds her. “We need a droid that’s rated for spelunking.”
Peli wears an incredulous raise of her brow. “Spelunking? What are you spelunking?”
Astra moves closer to Din’s side and he wishes he could thank her for it. “We’re going to Mandalore. We need a droid that can explore ahead of us and test the atmosphere, make sure it’s safe to breathe.”
“Okay, well…” Peli starts. She’s cut off by R5 beeping and shaking his head as he tries to back away. Peli waves him back over and tuts at him. “Hey! Get right back here. Right back here, scaredy droid.” She sets a supportive hand on him. “Come on now, you gotta shine.”
Din glances over at Astra to read her. She’s focused back on the starfighter, her lips pulled tight in consideration. Peli goes on before he can question her about it.
“This R5 astromech is built for adventure,” she informs them. R5 gives her a sharp look and she returns one with bewilderment. “What?” She sighs when he speaks to her. “Of course you are. You’re supposed to be piloting starfighters across the galaxy and fighting tyranny.”
R5 offers only nervous beeps in response. Din’s gaze meets Astra’s and she becomes the one to voice their shared parts. “We don’t have any room for him on the ship,” Astra tells Peli. “We can barely fit the four of us in there.”
“Not to mention he’s falling apart,” Din mutters.
“Nonsense,” Peli insists. “R5-D4 is as good as the day he came back from serving in the Rebellion.” Astra raises an eyebrow at Din and he holds back an amused chuckle. “And don’t you worry. I’ll reinstall your droid port and this little baby here can even co-pilot.” R5 begins to shake with worry and Peli glares at him. “Hey, if you don’t settle your bolts, I’ll sell you back to the Jawas.”
“Peli,” Astra starts with a worried sigh, “that only worsens our problem of fitting in the ship.”
“I’ve got it, princess!” Peli assures her. Astra huffs at the use of her old title. “It’s Boonta Eve, so what I’m gonna do is give you this—,” she leans against R5, “—for half the price and throw in a free oil bath. And since it’s inconveniencing you and I happen to like your family, I’ll push that droid port back and make some other modifications to fit you all in there a bit better.”
Din and Astra share a glance while Peli and R5 do the same. Astra shrugs and gestures to the ship. “It’s up to you, riduur. You have a better idea of what we need for this journey.”
Din glances at the starfighter and sighs. The part for IG will take months to find if even the Jawas can’t get it, and the longer Din waits for this adventure, the more his family will have to suffer. He ultimately offers a nod towards Peli. “All right.”
Peli grins and pats R5 in celebration. “Great!” She hands Grogu off to Astra. “Then I’ll get to work.” She starts to walk towards her toolkit then stops. “Though… a helping hand or two might make this go by faster.”
Astra nods at Peli. “We’ll help you in a minute.” She shows Din the pouch that still hangs from her belt. “We just need a quick snack break.”
“Sure, sure!” Peli responds. “But next time, bring some for me.”
Astra laughs as she sets a hand on Din’s back and guides him to a more private corner of the hangar. They sit on cargo crates across from each other, Din keeping Zora balanced on his knee while Astra sets Grogu beside herself. Astra offers Grogu one of the containers first before she sets Din’s on her lap.
“Are these the ‘special treats’ we were promised earlier?” Din asks, hopeful.
Astra beams and nods. She opens the container and lets him look. “Cream of jogan.”
Din inhales an excited breath. He’s launched back to his childhood at the sight of the purple fruit. “How’d you know I love jogan?” Din wonders with a smile that remains concealed behind his beskar.
“We’ve been married a long time, now,” Astra reminds him with a sweet smile of her own. “But I have to say, this was Zora’s idea.”
Din looks at his daughter and bounces her a few times. “You have good taste, Zozo.” He lifts her to press her tiny head against his helmet, resulting in a bubbly laugh that only makes his grin grow. “You must get it from me.”
Din sets Zora back on his knee and reaches to take the container from Astra, but she shakes her head at him. “You don’t have a lot of free hands,” she reminds him. “Just lift your helmet when you’re ready and I’ll take care of it.”
Din’s face warms under his helmet as he shifts his weight and nods. He refuses to let his shyness flare up as he instead enjoys the intimate moment with his family. Din frees a hand from Zora to touch the lip of his helmet and as soon as he lifts it, Astra reaches forward with a share of the jogan. The taste once again launches Din into a state of nostalgia as he closes his eyes and rocks Zora in pure joy.
Astra looks upon him with both affection and amusement. She prepares Din’s next bite and checks in on Grogu, who’s nearly finished devouring his dessert. Astra speaks to Din as she does so. “You’re blushing, my love.”
Din shrugs, his helmet only getting warmer as his visor falls. “It’s… warm here.”
Astra chuckles with him. “It sure is.”
Given the rather small size of the dessert, the family’s snack time comes to an end more quickly than Din would’ve liked. Din retrieves the pram from the N-1 and sets Zora inside of it, tasking Grogu with the important job of keeping her safe and entertained. He and Astra pick up some of Peli’s tools and assist her as best as they can, though Din often finds himself distracted by the sight of his two children playing and laughing with each other.
The last time his family was working on this ship with Peli, Grogu had been away for almost a full standard year. Now, they’re all back together again, and they’re just one more adventure away from what could be the start of their forever home and future. These thoughts carry Din through his share of the work while he allows Peli and Astra to converse amongst themselves.
But Din’s silence doesn’t go unnoticed for long. Astra stops what she’s doing to give Din a look that he can sense before his visor even meets her gaze. She comes closer to him and lowers her voice, keeping their conversation private. “Is everything okay?” Astra gives him a once-over. “You’re quieter than usual.”
Din smiles underneath his helmet and nods. “That’s the thing.” He fixates his visor on their children again. “I couldn’t be better.”
Astra smiles with him and lifts a hand to urge his helmet to meet her forehead. “We’re almost there.” She takes her tool and taps his cuirass with it. “If you work a little quicker, we’ll get there even faster.”
Din huffs and lifts her hand from his helmet to jokingly push it away. Astra chuckles and returns to where she was before. Din’s gaze doesn’t leave her for even a single moment. He wants to freeze himself in this moment, where the joy on the faces of his wife and children could be as permanent and radiant as possible. But deep down within himself, Din comes to terms with the truth that he can’t, because he’ll never be able to fully partake in that joy until he finds his redemption once and for all.
Their teamwork on the starfighter makes their progress both quick and efficient. By the time the two suns have set and the Boonta Eve celebrations have begun, the family of four and their droid companion are settled in the modified N-1. Grogu’s finally settled himself on Din’s lap after his fifth crawl through the small hatch added between his and Astra’s seats.
Peli says a few final words to R5 before she turns to Din and addresses him. “I wouldn’t rely too much on this one,” she says, gesturing to the astromech. “His circuitry is a little fragile.”
Din furrows his brow. “I thought you said it was—.”
Peli takes the liberty of closing Din’s canopy for him.
“—Built for adventure.”
“What?” Peli questions, raising her voice above the starfighter’s purring engine. “Sorry, I can’t hear you!”
Din makes sure Astra’s canopy is closed before he starts to lift the N-1 into the air. He focuses on navigating them off planet through the Boonta Eve fireworks while Peli waves to them from below.
“May the Force be with you!” she calls up to them.
“I never know how to respond to that,” Astra confesses to Din over the intercom.
Din chuckles and shrugs. “Me neither.” He releases a breath as they pass by the fireworks, watching as Grogu admires them through the transparisteel. Din grins and focuses back on the way ahead. “All right, kid,” he says just to Grogu. “You ready for an adventure?”
Grogu coos in the affirmative. Just a few moments later, the N-1’s launched into hyperspace, sending them back the way they came. Din glances back and sees Astra and Zora already pursuing rest, with Zora’s curly head resting on her mother’s shoulder. He’s overwhelmed with a surge of warmth, though this time, he makes himself join them in slumber.
Din awakens when the starfighter returns to sublight travel. He blinks a few times at the swirling planet ahead of him, his heart aching at the sight of Mandalore’s destroyed surface. It’s visible even from this far. What used to be a beautiful part of his starry galaxy during his childhood is now a place to be feared.
Grogu’s fallen victim to that first. The little one whimpers as he looks upon the planet they’re quickly approaching. Din rushes to comfort him before he checks on Astra and Zora.
“It looks scary, I know,” Din murmurs. “But it was once green and beautiful, back when the songs were written.” He pauses, letting a wave of nostalgia wash over him. “It’s Mandalore, the homeworld of our people.” Grogu glances at Din. “Every Mandalorian can trace their roots back to this planet, and the beskar mines deep within. And you know what?”
Grogu lifts his ears in interest, though he doesn’t look away from the view of Mandalore.
“I’ve never been there, either.” Din lifts his gloved hand to point at the distant moon. “I grew up there. On that moon.” Grogu’s gaze follows his finger. “Concordia.” Grogu coos with wonder at the sight. Din moves his finger to the proximity scope. “And that’s Kalevala where we visited Bo-Katan. It’s in the same system.”
Grogu babbles a response and lifts his hand to match Din’s own.
“A Mandalorian has to understand maps and know their way around. That way, you’ll never be lost.”
“Wise words from a wise man,” Astra responds.
Din tilts his helmet and grips the controls a bit tighter. “You’re flattering me too much.”
“Oh, please. I would never lie to you.”
Din holds his breath as he navigates the starfighter closer to Mandalore’s atmosphere. “You’re not gonna think I’m so wise in a second here.”
As soon as the N-1 enters the planet’s swirling clouds, their family is surrounded by darkness. Thunder rumbles and lightning threatens to strike them at any moment. The consoles begin to glitch from the atmosphere’s disturbance and the ship itself shudders from the sheer brutality of the storm. Grogu whimpers and Din keeps him close and steady. Din wonders if Astra would be sharing some choice words of her own if the intercom wasn’t malfunctioning from the atmosphere’s disturbances.
The starfighter breaks through the clouds and reveals the roughened surface of Mandalore. The consoles continue to glitch and Din gives them a few taps. “Looks like the fusion bombs from the Purge disrupted the magnetic field around the planet,” he tells Grogu. The consoles come back to life and Din lets out a sigh of relief.
“It's probably a good thing you couldn’t hear me through all that,” Astra informs Din, her voice broken up by Zora’s whines of fear.
“I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect,” Din replies, apologetic. “I would’ve warned you more if I had known.”
“It’s all right. We’re perfectly fine back here.” Zora’s cries stop and Din assumes it’s from Astra’s comfort. “Aren’t we, Zora?”
Zora releases a quiet coo, one that’s not fully reassuring but just enough to put Din at ease. He tightens his jaw as he reads a warning message on the console. “From the surface, we won’t be able to communicate with anyone out of atmosphere, so we have to be careful. Down here, we’re completely cut off from the rest of the galaxy.”
Astra’s worried breath is audible through the intercom. “That’s comforting.”
Din circles his jaw and increases the speed of their descent. “We’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
“I believe you.” Astra’s words are honest and kind, but cautious. “Just don’t promise me. I don’t want you to have to break it.”
Din nods. “Understood, ner kar’ta.” He lowers the N-1 to the crystallized surface near Sundari. “Some of our past promises haven’t boded well.”
“That may be true, but I don’t doubt you or your word.” Din turns in his seat to face Astra and he’s relieved to be met with her soft gaze of comfort. “I just don’t want you to have to carry any more burdens.”
Din tilts his helmet at her, a motion that says more than his words could. He prepares himself with a deep breath and gets a quick glimpse of the flat and haunting landscape. “Well, here we are.” He then turns his helmet to their astromech escort. “R5, you ready? I’m gonna need you to scout ahead and analyze the atmosphere.”
R5 beeps his response and frantically shakes his metal head back-and-forth. Din resists the urge to sigh to himself.
“That wasn’t a question.” Din hits a button on the console and he hears R5 drop to the surface. The droid beeps in pure fear. “Go over to that split in the rock and take an air sample of the ruins below.”
R5 obeys, despite his worried warbling. Grogu watches him with intent and Din can hear Zora release a frightened coo through the intercom. Astra’s tone is sad rather than afraid when she speaks. “It’s hard to believe a civilization as great as Mandalore’s once stood here.”
Din shakes his helmet. “I never got to see it.” He’s distracted by Grogu whimpering and turning his head towards his father. Din returns the glance. “The droid will be fine.” Grogu’s ears remain low. “I just need him to take some readings to make sure it’s safe.”
R5 stops in his tracks and looks back at the ship. He beeps at Din.
“Don’t be a baby. Just get the samples we need, and hurry up.”
R5 beeps something rather unkind and continues ahead. Grogu continues his worried babbles while Zora’s own whimpering gets louder. “The kids are afraid, Din.”
“I know.” Din gives Grogu’s head a reassuring pat. “But the droid will be okay.” R5 disappears behind the split rock and both the children’s distress gets worse. Din starts to mess with his console. “Here, Grogu, look. You can watch him on the scope.”
Grogu settles himself more on Din’s lap and watches the red dot of R5 get farther and farther away. After a few moments, the dot suddenly disappears from the scope. Grogu gasps in worry as Din hits the console.
“R5, come in. Do you read me?”
“Did we lose him?” Astra asks over the children’s whining.
“It’s probably just interference,” Din insists. He looks at Grogu and he’s met with two worried eyes that are double their usual size. Grogu coos, babbles, and sputters in despair, and despite him lacking in words, Din understands what he’s asking for. Din sighs and gives in. “Fine. I’ll go get him.”
Astra’s voice now carries the same worry as their children’s. “Is that safe?”
“It should be, but normally, this is droid work,” Din mutters. “I was hoping to avoid going out there.”
“What if it’s toxic?”
“I’ll pressurize my helmet.” Din helps Grogu lower to the floor of the starfighter. “Grogu, seal yourself in your pod. Girls…” Din turns to face Astra and Zora, “don’t open that canopy, no matter what.”
Astra tightens her jaw. “That’s a big ask, riduur.”
“You won’t even have to worry about it.” Din nods for further reassurance. “I’ll be right back.”
Once Grogu’s sealed in his pod, Din pressurizes his helmet and slides his canopy open. He stands and pauses to take a quick look around before he steps down. His helmet hisses and reminds Din why he avoids pressurizing his helmet. He closes the canopy using his vambrace and starts to walk off, but Astra’s voice stops him short. “Din.”
Din approaches her canopy and meets her gaze with his visor. Astra swallows hard and sets a hand on the transparisteel. Din lifts a gloved hand to cover hers, his touch and his gaze lingering before he forces himself to step away. He only makes it a few strides ahead before the cries of his daughter and the burning gaze of his son make him turn around once more. “Don’t worry, kids,” he assures them. “I’ll be right back.”
With that, Din closes the distance to the split rock, turning the corner and coming upon a deep cave. His steps slow and he remains more cautious once he enters, the crystallized walls emitting nothing but darkness and green-filtered light. There’s no sign of R5 just yet, but the more Din goes on, the less focused he becomes on the astromech. Instead, his attention’s drawn to what lies at the end of his vision.
The walkway turns into a cliff that opens the crystallized cave large enough to fit an entire city within it. Ruins of a city Din can only dream of visiting are charred yet preserved, giving him an idea of what life on Mandalore might’ve been like. He looks upon it with awe, his visor scanning the view while his mind tries to take it all in.
It’s only the rustling Din catches behind him that draws his attention back to the situation at hand. A creature appears from the darkness and roars at Din as it raises a weapon that knocks him to the ground. Two more creatures join the fight, but Din remains focused on reaching for his blaster and firing a bolt at his first attacker. The other two come at him and knock him down before he has a chance to steady himself on his feet. Din keeps firing blaster bolts, but the creatures remain unfazed, swinging their weapons at him and forcing him to remain on the defense.
Din rolls away from them and props himself up on one knee, assessing his attacks while he has the brief chance to. Having lost his blaster before, Din reaches behind himself to take a hold of the Darksaber’s hilt. He’s displeased to find that it’s still as heavy as it was the last time he tried to wield it. With a prayer to the stars and an apology to his awaiting wife, Din swings the blade towards the creature on his left and throws a punch to finish it off. He tries to do the same to the creature on his right, but he overshoots, and the weight of the blade forces him around in a full rotation.
When he recovers, he’s met with a blow of their club to the front of his helmet. He falls back a few steps and runs right into another one of the creatures, who knocks him to the ground yet again. Every time he tries to stand, the creature forces him back down with a firm fist upon his jetpack. Din manages to unsheathe his vibroblade from his boot and sticks it into the creature’s thigh. He holds it there for a long moment before he withdraws it and slashes the creature with the Darksaber. It tumbles off the cliff and Din tries to anticipate the next attack.
He’s too late. One of the creatures knocks him back so far he nearly goes off the edge of the cliff. The other creature dives at him and Din dodges just in time to send the creature flying off the cliff instead of himself. He’s hit with another blow before he can turn back around, but he’s prepared for the next few hits. He blocks them with his arms and even gets a kick into the creature’s leg, bringing it to its knee. Din uses the advantage to run the Darksaber through the creature’s middle. Once he’s satisfied, Din retracts the blade and throws the final creature’s limp body off the cliff.
Din watches the spectacle while he catches his breath. He checks himself for wounds, though his observation is interrupted by R5 beeping. Din turns around and finds R5 knocked back against a few crystallized rocks, unable to get himself to move. He approaches the droid and starts to lift him, though he can feel the droid trying to help. “Yeah, wait,” Din commands breathlessly. With a heave of effort thanks to his recent fight, he gets the astromech back to his wheeled feet. “Okay, you’re all right.”
R5 rocks a few times as he beeps in gratitude. Din offers a nod.
“Now come on,” Din urges. He’s begun to fear for his family following his own run-in. “Let’s get you back to the ship.”
Din leads the way and R5 follows close behind. His steps quicken in his desire to reach his family, and in just another minute or so, he turns the corner and spots the N-1. The only difference from when he left is that Grogu’s used the hatch to join Astra and Zora in their canopy. Din smiles to himself in relief and he can already see Astra doing the same. Grogu and Zora both coo and set their hands upon the transparisteel. Din chuckles to himself and stops both himself and R5 just in front of the ship.
“They’ve been waiting to join you,” Astra manages to tell him through the transparisteel.
“Hang on,” Din responds. “Not until I check the toxicity.” Din looks at R5. “You got an analysis on the atmosphere yet?”
R5 beeps in the affirmative and lifts his holotransmitter. The holo reveals the analysis charts that only get more and more promising, the number rising higher and falling more and more into the green zone. Din watches it with amazement.
“The charts were wrong,” Din murmurs. The count stop and the number Din reads is a welcome and beneficial surprise. “The atmosphere is breathable.” Din glances up. “Bo-Katan was right.” He then meets Astra’s gaze. “Mandalore is not cursed.”
Astra’s lips stretch wide in a prideful smile. “And now, you’re the first person brave enough to return to it.”
Din beams underneath his helmet and moves towards their canopy. “It’s about time you all joined me.” He slides the canopy open and looks at Grogu, gesturing with his helmet to the pilot’s seat. “Go get your pod for you and your sister.”
Grogu obeys with an enthusiastic coo. Din helps Astra and Zora out of the ship and onto the crystallized surface. Astra looks around with the same wonder Din felt in the cave, her gaze brightened. Din wishes he could have more time to admire her and her excitement. No sight in the galaxy could be as beautiful as this.
Grogu returns at Din’s side in his pod and Astra sets Zora inside it. Their daughter whines and reaches out to Din. He summons the strength of the Ancestors to deny her request. “I’m sorry, Zozo, but you’ve got to stay in the pod with your brother,” Din tells her in a soft voice. “It’s safer there.”
Zora begins to cry. Grogu lets out a concerned coo and sets a hand on her tiny shoulder. Din twists his lips and kneels down to the height of the pram, his gloved hands holding her face as his visor meets her devastated brown gaze.
“Zora Arilia.” Din nods and runs his thumbs over her cheeks to dry her tears. “You’re a Djarin. Cuy dral. Cuy verd’ika.” You’re strong. You’re a little warrior. He lifts a hand to the lip of his helmet and raises it just enough to kiss her forehead. Zora calms and even smiles at her father’s words and affection.
Din doesn’t lower his helmet when he stands, instead turning to his wife and wrapping his free hand around the back of her neck. He pulls her to himself in a kiss that displays his utter love, admiration, and desperation for her, a gesture of gratitude that words can’t express. She’s stuck by his side for so long, much longer than anyone else in his life, and now she’s come all the way to a destroyed planet for him. Din never knew it was possible to hold so much love in his heart.
They separate and Din lets his helmet fall back fully over his face. He presses his helmet to Astra’s forehead and takes one of her hands, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Are you ready?”
Astra’s gaze is somehow even brighter than before. She nods and squeezes his hand back. “Let’s get you to those Living Waters.” Astra takes a step away from him and keeps her hold on his hand. “This is the Way.”
Din inhales at her words, unable to contain the warmth that spills from his very chest. His voice is strained when he responds. “This is the Way.”
They keep their hands entwined as Din leads their family towards the split in the rock. He rolls his shoulders and keeps one gloved hand near his holster. Astra glances at him out of the corner of his eye. “What happened in there?”
Din returns her stare. “In here?” He points to the way ahead.
Astra sharpens her look before he can go on. “I know something happened.” She gestures to his armored shoulders. “You’re stiffer than before.”
Din releases a soft sigh. “There were some… creatures.”
Astra’s brow lifts. “What kind of creatures?” Her gaze gives him a once-over. “Are you hurt?”
“No, I’m fine. I don’t know what they were.” Din gives her hand a squeeze for reassurance. His visor leaves her gaze as he continues. “I did use the Darksaber, though. I’m sorry.”
“I had a feeling.” Astra steps closer to his side, until they’re brushing against each other with every step. “It’s all right. I trust you with it if you trust yourself.”
Din nods, keeping her close and enjoying her touch while he can. He draws his blaster with his free hand at the mouth of the cave and Astra does the same. They share a look before Din takes a cautious step forward. They’re forced to separate as Din clears their path. He scans the area for more of the creatures he’d seen before, but by the time he reaches the end of the walkway, he doesn’t find a single one. Din releases the breath he was holding and holsters his blaster. “That’s the Civic Center,” he tells Astra, who also holsters her blaster at his side. “This is where Bo-Katan said to go.”
Astra looks upon the city with a grim pinch in her brow. “This is the Civic Center?” She glances at Din. “It looked like it was once a beautiful place.”
“That’s what I thought, too.”
Astra’s sadness is replaced by confusion when she looks at Din again. “How are we supposed to get down there?”
Din taps the pod at his side. “Grogu will get these two to follow us in the pod. As for you…” he opens his arms to her, “we’re gonna have to do this the old fashioned way.”
Astra looks between the buried city and Din a few times. She takes a deep breath of composure and nods. “All right.” She walks towards him and wraps her arms tightly around Din’s neck. Din lifts her and helps her to wrap her legs tight around him. His grip becomes a vice to keep her in place.
“I’ve got you,” Din assures her. “Just make sure you’re hanging on as tight as you can.”
“I will. It would be really nice if I could get a jetpack of my o…”
Astra cuts herself off with a gasp as Din makes the jump from the edge of the walkway. He activates his jetpack to keep them at equilibrium. He’s pleased to see the kids’ pod following at his side, Grogu’s ears flapping in the wind as they make their descent. Din waits until they’re far down enough for him to evaluate. He lands on a long yet stable strip and keeps Astra in place.
“Please tell me we’re almost there,” Astra murmurs.
Din rests his helmet against her head on his shoulder. “Sorry, cyar’ika. The mines should be further down.” He takes a breath to prepare himself. “We’re on our own from here.”
Grogu babbles at Din and he nods in return. Din steps out and lets them freefall again. The jetpack carries them all the way down until they can’t go any further. When they land, his boots splash in a small trail of water.
Din takes a breath of relief. “This should be good.”
He helps Astra get back on her feet. She heaves a breath and sets her hands on his cuirass. “Thank the stars you’re so strong.”
Din chuckles and shakes his head. Astra steps away to let Din get a good look around, and upon seeing the tunnels surrounding them, Din charts a path in his mind. He sets off and his family follows. When the darkness becomes too much, he clasps the light onto his helmet, urging Grogu to do the same with his pram. Astra stays close to Din’s side while he investigates the area, looking for any clues or dangers. He draws his blaster for security and Astra follows his lead.
“Do you know where we’re going?” Astra whispers. She gives her head an aimless shake. “This all looks the same to me.”
“Look.” Din gestures with his blaster to a nearby stream of water that falls from above them. “These waters should flow down to the mines and the Living Waters within.”
Astra nods and continues to follow Din forward. He can hear Grogu babbling something in a nervous tone behind him. He doesn’t blame the little one; the darkness of the tunnel mixed with its lingering creatures would be enough to frighten even the bravest of travelers.
After they’ve traversed the tunnel for countless minutes, they come along a seemingly dead end. Din glances around and his light catches an opening. “There.” Din points it out for Astra. “That passage heads down.”
Astra lifts her blaster higher. “Looks dangerous.”
Din gives his helmet a quick tilt. “Could be.” He glances over at her. “Stay close.”
Astra complies and stays right by his side as Din walks up to the mouth of the passage. He stops and scans the opening, lifting his blaster to prepare for any threats. When he looks down and takes a few more steps, Din spots something in the dirt. He kneels down and brushes the dirt from it, his heart sinking when he realizes what it is. Din lifts the broken helmet and examines it, much like he did that nearly fateful day on Nevarro. Astra sets a hand on his shoulder for support.
The rest happens in a quick and brutal flash.
Din can hear the trap set off. He manages to push Astra away from himself, watching only for a moment as she rolls in the dirt. The massive trap secures him just after and Din struggles to fight his way out. Whatever’s holding him stands, and one of its massive legs settles too close to the place where Astra had landed. Din tries to look for her as he continues his fight, but a sharp jab in his neck makes a horrible chill paralyze him.
And the last thought on Din’s mind before the dark tunnel goes completely black is the fear that he likely just sealed his family’s fate within the dark tunnels beneath Mandalore.
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months
Text
[ cw: risk taking behavior / circumstantial self harm kinda / ignoring of injuries / self-depreciation / slight ooc-ness but for a reason! / ]
Post invasion, Leo is fine.
More than fine! He’s better than before, even. That is, if you don’t count the slightly cracked shell and still healing bones, but those are only a problem when the weather wants them to be!
Leo really is better in the ways that matter.
He’s not as cocky, not as self-centered, and overall just more heroic in general if he does say so himself.
Raph even said he was proud of Leo!
So obviously things are going well.
But.
It’s not enough.
Leo’s better, sure, but he’s still got work to do.
So - and here’s something that will probably make his brothers faint on the spot - he needs to train.
_____
His brothers do not faint, but it’s a near thing for Raph. Mikey has to fan the snapper’s face and Donnie almost brings out the smelling salts before Raph shoots back to his feet with an excited grin.
Leo’s big brother gets teary eyed soon after and envelops him in a bear hug, saying once again how proud he is that Leo is growing up.
Leo lets himself be hugged, even hugs back as fiercely as he can, because unbeknownst to Raph, this marks the end of Leo’s childhood.
He lets himself be hugged like a kid one last time, looking through the hole in Raph’s shell all the while.
_____
Leo only trains the regular way with his brothers and occasionally April and the Caseys, but most especially Raph.
But of course that’s not enough, it was never going to be.
So he goes through the motions of the stretches, the spars, the meditation, and then he leaves.
He makes sure to have his excuses ready, usually defaulting to Hueso as his go to since his brothers are easily bought off with the promise of pizza. Leo hasn’t yet found the tracker Donnie installed in him, but when he does that’ll be dealt with too! But for now, this should be good.
See, the invasion made him realize something.
It’s not about him, but it was his shortcomings that led to everything going to hell.
So he just…needs to get rid of those shortcomings.
He’s working on it, gaining fighting skill in training, but there’s more he needs to do, more skills he needs to train.
Leo watches intently as Repo Mantis swindles someone, he memorizes the sleight of hand that Hypno performs, he sneaks back into the Mystic Library and is so quiet the hush bats forget he’s there, he talks Big Mama into honing his manipulation, and he even sneaks into human hospitals and reptile veterinary clinics to get a clue on more serious injuries.
And after any of these, he heads to Run of the Mill to compete in the Maze of Death.
_____
This is his twelfth time going through the (newly remodeled and even more deadly) Maze of Death, and would be his fifth time winning. The first three times had him waking up in Hueso’s office, and each time he wakes his old persona shines through.
He always waves off Hueso’s annoyance and questions and insists on trying again next time before he steals some pizza and bails.
The skeleton actively tries to stop him from entering the Maze after the first time, but hey- mystics are allowed before you enter.
It’s easy enough to teleport on by.
Harder to meet Hueso’s - and later his brothers’ - eyes when he fails again.
When he first actually won, Hueso congratulates him in that typical deadpan tone of his.
“Ah, felicidades, Pepino. Now you can move on, sí?”
“Hm? Nah, boneman! That run was sloppy!”
And then Leo runs off before Hueso can stop him.
He doesn’t even look at his picture on the champion wall when he next comes around. It’s not much to look at anyway.
_____
His second win is much like the first, and only his third win is actually acceptable.
But he knows the field too much now. He needs a challenge.
When he attempts to go through it blindfolded, he’s quickly shown how much he doesn’t know the Maze. So, obviously, he loses again.
He got a bit more banged up that time around.
“Pepino, basta ya, you’ve already won. Where are your brothers?”
“I can’t stop yet, señor! This is for my brothers - no les digas, please.”
Even if Hueso wanted to tell Leo’s brothers, they haven’t been in enough for him to get to, and it’s not like Hueso has their number since Leo’s the one Hueso usually contacts. For now, Leo’s safe to continue as is.
Though his injuries are getting harder to hide, and there’s only so much his shell in particular can take.
So to speed things up, he incorporates the blindfold into his regular training.
His brothers question it, of course, but hey, he initially got the idea from seeing Lou Jitsu do it in the third best Lou Jitsu movie, so it comes as a great excuse now.
He’s only a little put off by how fast Mikey adapts to it when the others try.
“I dunno-“ Mikey shrugs when asked, “You guys shine so brightly anyway, a mask doesn’t do much.”
Seeing their mystic energies is pretty cool, Leo can admit.
He just wishes he could grasp that himself - and that it was useful for a death maze.
_____
Leo’s training pulls off eventually, and soon, after a few more losses, he wins a forth time. But it’s a near loss, and a near loss is the difference between someone living and dying.
He’s gotta go again.
Hueso’s more insistent than ever, though.
“You must stop, Pepino.”
“But I can do better-“
“You don’t have to! Your shell is bleeding - ¡por tu propio bien, poner fin a esto!”
“I told you, this is for their own good! For everyone’s own good!”
He forgets the pizzas when he leaves. He claims sickness when he hides under his covers.
He ignores how childish the act makes him feel.
_____
Leo’s getting better, and his reflexes and tact in training shows this. His other training of his subterfuge and medical skills also prove to be useful.
He’s pretty good at hiding injuries, now! Though not so good at hiding a pained shell. Even Donnie looks at him with blatant concern (and understanding) when Leo can’t help but take a sharp breath whenever he lands on his back.
It’s hard not to go right back into waving everything off with jokes like he used to. Deflections are easier when they’re annoying!
But- this is just another reason that he needs to get better, right? So his brothers won’t worry. He doesn’t need the spotlight anymore - he’s over that, thanks.
He squashes down the part of him that perks up when Splinter says he’s growing up. He actively kills the part of himself that cries at the same phrase.
_____
So. Yeah. This’ll be his twelfth time running the Maze. And, hopefully, his fifth win. Maybe he really will move on after this.
The Hidden City is pretty big! There’s probably a bigger challenge somewhere.
Maybe Big Mama has a more secret Nexus hidden away, out of the public eye.
Well, whatever. That’s a future problem for him to figure out, yeah? For now, he carries on like usual, teleporting to the entrance of the Maze and diving right in.
Even blindfolded, he works his way through, dodging and weaving and feeling as he goes. He even tries to evoke his inner Mikey and calls on his mystic energy. Not enough to cheat, but enough to feel.
Usually, when Leo teleports, he swears he feels every part of himself disperse into particles. Now, with energy thrumming under his scales, he can feel particles everywhere.
It’s not refined enough to tell him everything, and he gets a fun new burn and a nice whack to the back by getting distracted. Still, it gives him more than he had before. It makes him more aware of everything, like he licked a finger and held it in the air to feel the direction of wind, but every direction blew wind, all in different ways.
He makes it to the end with minimal injuries after that, and sure, his shell is screaming at him now, but he thinks he did a shell of a good job.
…Ah, he needs to cut that out, huh? Man. Maybe Donnie’s collar idea was a good call after all.
Leo needs to be a hero. Not a face man. Not a failure.
Not a kid.
_____
Leo doesn’t smile when the Minotaur takes his picture again for the champion wall, and he doesn’t listen when she tells him to “go home and never come back.”
He doesn’t plan to, anyway, yeesh.
He’s tired as he trudges out of the exit, and Hueso catches him when he stumbles.
Hueso doesn’t say anything. Leo doesn’t either.
Or, he doesn’t, until he feels a familiar large hand helping him up as well.
Leo’s face whips up as he flinches back, eyes wide as they meet with a worried (so, so worried) Raph’s.
“You told them?” Leo asks Hueso in betrayal, heart thudding wildly in his chest.
“Pepino…”
“Told us what?” Mikey pipes up from behind Raph, coming closer to get a better look at Leo, “Leo, what’s going on?”
“Your shell has been having pretty big setbacks on its healing, is this why?” Donnie demands, glaring fiercely as he motions toward the Maze.
Leo feels unmoored. “I-“
“Leo.” Raph interrupts, and no Leo doesn’t want to hear it- “Are you okay?”
And Leo wants to say “it’s not about me”. He wants to say anything that proved he learned his lesson, that he’s not a liability or worse, an active danger to his own family.
He wants Raph to continue being proud of him. He wants his brothers to trust him.
Instead, he passes out.
_____
The next time his eyes open, Leo’s on his side, staring at his blue lava lamp.
He knows without looking that his shell is re-bandaged. He knows his other injuries have been dealt with too.
And unless Leo learned how to do some pretty impressive medical sleepwalking, he knows he’s not getting away this time.
All three of his brothers being in his room prove that.
“What’s been going on, Leo?” Mikey asks, and his voice cracks partway through.
He’s looking at Leo like he’s searching for something, but Leo doesn’t have anything to show. Nothing’s hidden, he just did some light spring cleaning is all, throwing out all the parts he didn’t need.
All the parts they didn’t need.
And yet despite everything, he can feel himself falling back into old ways, a grin tugging at his beak and lackadaisical deflection on the tip of his tongue.
Maybe he should let that part of him show, just for once. It wouldn’t seem like too much of a setback would it? And he could really use a fun pun right about now-
No.
No it’s not about him. He needs to remember why he did all this in the first place.
“Okay- sorry, guys.” He smiles, softly, quietly, “I guess I got too caught up in training. I’ll work at it some more, don’t worry.”
“Oh, I see. Training. That’s all it was, huh? Training.” Donnie hisses more than says, nearly vibrating in anger.
“…yeah?” Leo nods slowly, because, uh, that’s literally the most honest thing he said. It was training.
“If it’s just “training” then why the secrecy, hm? Why in Curie’s good name did you prefer to sneak around rather than, oh, I don’t know, tell your family?”
Leo feels his shoulders rise at Donnie’s aggression, defensiveness welling up in him, “It was my training! Nothing went wrong, I’m getting better!”
“Better?” Raph asks incredulously, “Leo, you’re wasting away. A tap to the shell stuns you for minutes, you lost weight, and your dark circles are worse than Raph’s ever seen them! You aren’t getting better-!”
“YES I AM!”
The words rip out of Leo before he can stop them.
The room is silent as his brother look at him, all wearing expressions of hurt that Leo put there again.
“Yes I am.” Leo reiterates, shaking, “Because- if I’m not-“ He squeezes his eyes shut. “If I’m not-“
Then what was all this for?
Arms slowly wrap around him, and he knows now from the feel of the mystic that it’s Mikey.
“You’ve gotten faster, and sneakier.” Mikey says quietly. “When I accidentally cut my hand, you knew exactly how to take care of it.” His voice grows firm, and he backs out of the hug, “But those are your skills. You, though, you’ve been…you’ve been…”
“You’ve been dilapidating before our very eyes, and trying to hide it.” Donnie finishes, jaw tight. “You think we wouldn’t notice? After everything?” To Leo’s horror, Donnie’s voice is hoarse with tears, “You absolute dumb dumb.”
“I- but I need to train. The Maze is-“
“Leo, we don’t care that you ran through the Maze. We care you did it alone.” Raph says quietly. “We could have joined you, any time.”
“But- but I’m doing this for you-“
“Listen to your brothers, Blue.” They jump as a new voice joins the fray, heads turning to see Splinter make his way into the - frankly crowded - room.
“Dad, I-“ Leo begins, but trails off, suddenly more unsure than ever in the face of his father.
“It’s good you’re finally picking up training! Especially for your brothers’ sakes! But there’s such a thing as going overboard, you know.” Splinter pokes a sharp claw into Leo’s plastron, “Just because you’re dragging it out this time, doesn’t make this any less of a sacrifice. My son, you’ve taken after Karai an awful lot, haven’t you?”
Leo just looks at his father. At his brothers. Then, he looks down at his calloused hands, bandaged and scarred from overuse.
He swallows dryly. “Is that a bad thing?”
He feels his family crowd in around him, feels his father’s hand on his shoulder.
“It’s not wrong to want to be better, Leonardo.” Splinter says, softly and with so much grief and guilt that Leo can never begin to understand, “But you were never bad to begin with.”
Leo’s breath hitches.
“And-” Splinter’s hands rise up to frame Leo’s face. “You are much too young to ever consider sacrifice the best answer.”
“You got me to relax, Leo. So I’ll do the same for you.” Raph grins, eyes wet, “We’re still kids, right?”
And-
Leo smiles, watery but genuine. “Yeah, Raph. We are.”
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grahamcore · 1 year
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if you’ve read a metric ton of fanfiction and had your memory of canon retroactively altered you may be entitled to financial compensation
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braisedhoney · 7 months
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i’ve made it my personal mission whenever i reblog something to be as annoyingly long-winded about whatever i loved about it as possible, on the basis that… i like it when people do that. and also i am physically incapable of shutting up once i get on a tangent and i like art details. whoops.
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cog-go-boom · 4 months
Note
uh, who's your dad?
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so yep that's the story here! guess my previous great explanation has confused some of you fellas out there so this should make it clear as day i hope. this stuff didn't happen over night, but i guess realizing we wouldn't exist if he didn't give brian a distraction that one time made allan think.... LOL imagine a world without me in it, i'd be sad too, dude!!!
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strange-creature-222 · 7 months
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"I could drink your blood if you'd let my baby" no actually.
You can't. I won't let you.
if I did there's A chance that A. I might die and B. I might also become a vampire
And both of those would mean I have to give up garlic bread and other delicious things with garlic in them, and sorry man, I just can't
D
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linagram · 10 months
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everyone's album covers, song previews and album trailer voicelines!
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YESSSSSSSSSSSS I'M FINALLY DONE WITH ALL OF THEM *falls on the floor*
okay okay i'm actually kinda proud of myself?? :'D like i always prefer just. drawing characters even though i don't really avoid drawing backgrounds and i don't find drawing them that difficult but i rarely pay attention to things like. doors so yeah it's kinda cool that i've managed to come up with ten different door designs and draw them! even though most of them don't even look like doors. it's okay listen i just wanted to make them as weird as their mvs okay
(also about some prisoners having the symbols on their uhhh restraints and most of them not having them. well you see i just didn't have any energy left to draw them so i was like "it's fine i'll just draw the actual symbols later" and guess what. i didn't :) and i'm too tired to draw all of them so y-yeah. honestly maybe i'll change the symbols to something else like it takes way too much time to draw them and they're not even that close to the canon ones)
okay sorry for rambling, you can read everyone's song previews, titles (though you can see them on the covers, but still. or maybe you can't see them i'm sorry if the text is hard to read 😭) and album trailer voicelines under the cut! and also more of my rambling
Album trailer voicelines:
Akio: "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!"
Aimi: "Don't you think that's kind of.. unprofessional?"
Shun: "I-Isn't it a good thing that I'm getting better?"
Naomi: "But in the end, I've simply decided to agree with you."
Kei: "It's time for your punishment, Eiji~"
Eiko: "It's like.. your life finally has a purpose."
Asahi: "I wanna go home, even if I don't have one anymore."
Yurika: "THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!"
Riku: "Haha, trust me, I'm strong enough to do that."
Reina: "So, yeah, the show's over."
Song titles:
Akio: The King's Execution
Aimi: Mask of Kindness
Shun: Wrong Route
Naomi: Your Story
Kei: Web of Desire
Eiko: As Seen On TV
Asahi: 'Cause I Deserve It
Yurika: Bitter Aftertaste
Riku: Trendsetter
Reina: Death of the Author
Song previews:
Akio: "Come on, fight me, punch me, beat me to death,
Show me how you've really felt about me all this time
There's no one left to support me, no one left to call me "Your Majesty"
I guess it's time for me to admit my defeat" 
Aimi:
"Let's have as much fun as we can today, like this is the last day of our lives
I won't ask you to be careful, I know you won't listen to me anyway
Let's make these moments more colorful than ever before
Let's turn today into our best masterpiece"
Shun:
"I know that this is the best option, I don't even need a guide
"Real life"? What's that? Some kind of joke?
I know you will love me in every world and universe
Tell me I'm your everything, let me get the best ending"
Naomi:
"I can't believe I found out about this only now
Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't anyone else tell me about this?
Your life was so short, but so full of pain
Does this mean that I've saved you from all that suffering?"
Kei:
"Congrats, you've fallen right into my trap
Make yourself comfortable, you're in for a long ride
Tying you up, choking and biting
Keep your eyes on me, take those rose-colored glasses off"
Eiko:
"Yay, she did it, good for her! What an icon, am I right?
Haha, thank you, thank you! Serves him right, I know
You've forgiven me, darling, so let me thank you properly
Tell me what you want, I will give you everything and more"
Asahi:
"Give me more, you know that it'll never be enough for me
You want me to repay you? That's funny
Why should you give me so much and get nothing in return?
It's obvious, 'cause I deserve it"
Yurika:
"Please, please, make my world sweet again
This world is so cold, so bitter, if I take a bite, I'll get poisoned for sure
Hey, hey, what are you saying? You want more sugar as well?
Sure, anything for my master! But you're not her, so get out."
Riku:
"Now, listen, I don't like to do this
I'm not the type to abuse my power
But looks like it's time for you to get what you deserve
So get him, everyone, I'll pat you on the head later"
Reina:
"What about my crime? What about my sins?
Well, why don't you figure it out yourself?
I'll let you decide, I'll let you write my story
Aren't you the one who's supposed to judge us anyway?"
Random facts about everyone's song titles, lyrics and doors (spoiler-free. mostly):
The silhouettes from Akio's T1 MV are back!
If you've read Aimi's T1 MV description, you probably already went "Wait, is her song title a reference to that mask from her video?" and you are correct!
Shun's song title is kinda supposed to be a pun? Basically it's a reference to dating sims, character routes and all that stuff, but it's also supposed to mean taking a wrong path in life or something like that.
Naomi's song title was the hardest one to come up with and it turned out to be the most boring one. I am so sorry.
I actually wouldn't say that Asahi's door shows his MV that well, since his video will actually have mostly white and green colors, but I thought that a door like that would look boring, so yeah, I made it more colorful!
"Why is Yurika's door like that?" Oh, don't worry, compared to Asahi's door, Yurika's door shows her MV perfectly fine <3
Riku's door. Riku's door made me go through so much pain, IT WAS THE LAST DOOR I CAME UP WITH. I LITERALLY HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DRAW. Not even because I dislike his MV, it's just that his MV has this motif that's. Very hard to show as a door. Like all ideas I had just sounded stupid so I decided to go with something like this instead. Also I still hate drawing chains and I used a brush instead.
Yes, Naomi's door just. Looks like a diary. BUT I TRIED TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A DOOR OKAY I TRIED
Reina's door having a more "actor-like" motif probably doesn't make much sense because of the song title, but trust me, it does. And yes, her song title is based on the trope of the same name.
Aimi's song lyrics kinda sound like a sequel to her T1 song though i guess her t2 song can be called that here, but the rest of the lyrics sound more different. And yes, there will be more of their song lyrics in the MV descriptions this time >:)
Kei's song lyrics are actually supposed to be much more sad this time and even the chorus will sound differently in the end.
Reina, please, stop breaking the fourth wall, you're becoming way too powerful.
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lord-squiggletits · 2 months
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Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.
But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).
And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like
Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?
I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.
Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.
And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#this is only like tangentially related to pharma honestly#not to compare blorbos to real life but like. it reminds me of this phenomenon where privileged ppl in privileged countries#will tell ppl living in zones of war and strife 'oh well if you don't like your gov so bad just revolt against them'#like oh yes tell me how easy it is to stand up against the threats of torture and death#surely the only reason people would want to avoid that is bc they're cowards or don't want to stand up for their beliefs#contrary to what nationalism would have ppl believe. 'wanting to not die' isn't a moral position#everyone wants to live. no one wants to die. it doesnt make you a bad person to be scared of dying#esp (going back to blorbo's) in a situation like pharma's where every option he had ended in death#the death of his patients or the death of everyone at delphi or his death personally#on top of the fact he's a noncombatant who hasn't been desensitized to violence/risking his own life#and is dealing with a trained group of killers that he can't possibly match on physical terms#so yeah actually i don't blame pharma for what he did#he made shitty decisions in a shitty situation but was ultimately a victim#also if you want to view the blackmail deal from a framework of abuse#it is also fucked up to basically tell someone they werent brave enough to just kill their accuser or ask for help#isnt the entire point of such situations that the victim is both powerless to stop the abuse#and too afraid of asking for help/thinks they cant ask for help. and thats why they dont just get out#idk sometimes the best moral judgement is to forgive someone or view it as 'complicated'#sometimes regardless of the good or evilness of their actions the best choice is to not make a judgement#or to err in favor of a forgiving/'i cant speak for your experience' judgement#anyways the fact is that the rosy fantasy of being a brave noble soldier who sacrifices for the cause#rarely stands up to reality where youre just terrified and powerless and dont know what to do#and suddenly the rosy glow of The Noble Cause isnt comforting in the prospect of horrible torturous death
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amiinkles · 7 months
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I dont usually post non art related things but ugh. That ending made me sick...
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hippogrifffeathers · 7 months
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Don't Blame Me (Part 1)
Sebastian's concerns for MC's safety are at an all-time high. He's had it with their recklessness, their decision to trust a goblin the final nail in the coffin- if they refuse to listen to reason, insisting on continually endangering themselves, then Sebastian would simply have to take measures into his own hands.
When rumours begin to circulate about their latest exploit (the takedown of an ashwinder base) he's hit with an epiphany. Perhaps the enemy of his friend, could be his ally.
Whatever happened next, at least he'd always know MC was alive, no matter what the cost.
fic is on ao3 here
The heat of the Undercroft threatened to become unbearable, stifling air brought on by countless blasts aimed at the numerous target dummies, robes long since discarded and thrown to the side in a mindless shuffle, sleeves rolled up and rivulets of sweat clinging to the nape of his neck- anyone else would have long since abandoned the burning heat of the room to the cooler air of the Castle.
Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to care, hoping the air might burn some of the energy from his body, tear the frustration from his lungs, perhaps he could finally claim a night of uninterrupted sleep when all this was over.
There’s no concern of getting interrupted in here, nobody to tell him to calm down or to talk him through his racing mind. Ominis had holed himself up in some corner of the library to finish an essay, and the only other person who knew about the Undercroft had rarely visited the hidden alcove before their fight with him.
Unwillingly, his eyes drifted to the side, catching on the open triptych.
His next basic cast threatened to topple the training dummy over, viciously tearing from his wand on impulse.
MC had been avoiding him- the rare times they were even in the Castle, that was. Like they had any right to be the one avoiding him, after what they had done. He saw the way they slipped around corners at the sight of him, head stubbornly turned in the other direction when they crossed paths in the corridors- things he only caught sight of from the periphery of his vision, the glances he caught when they weren’t looking.
It’s how he knew they were so frequently sneaking out. They hadn’t been at dinner for an entire week now, fleeing the grounds at a moment's notice, and none of the staff could care less.
Neither could he. Sebastian had no interest in whatever fruitlessly heroic missions they indulged in when they took flight from the grounds, whatever daring mystery had caught their attention now. He. Didn’t. Care.
Except, that’s a lie. 
A huge lie, it’s impossible to ignore. His skin itches at the thought of what dangers they may be facing, without anyone at their side to defend them, his gaze can’t help but seek them out in a room, settling on the rhythmic movement of their breathing, the steady gait in their walk, all signs of health- of life , anything to settle the racing fears in his mind.
Thoughts made worse when he remembers their latest argument, that goblin friend of theirs. Disgusting. Impossible. Terrifying . How could they be so stupid ?
A hissing diffindo slices the head clean off the training dummy. He casts reparo with hardly a second thought.
On the worst nights, images of them plagued his dreams. MC, dead in the middle of a goblin encampment, dragged off in a cage to meet their fate at Ranrok’s hands, bled dry of their magic until they had nothing left of use to Ranrok, pallor ashen and empty, lying dead at the goblin’s hands. Images fuelled by their latest visit to Feldcroft, the way the goblins had focused so intently on MC as they arrived in the midst of battle, the words of violence as they recognised MC in their trip to the Mines, none of it any surprise to the target of their ire, like they were used to it- even as the goblins’ attitude was only getting more violent, more targeted.
None of those dreams felt like his usual terrors- nothing like how the memory of Anne being cursed had haunted his sleep for months afterwards, or how images of his parents’ death still lingered on nights when he felt particularly alone or hopeless. No, these dreams felt different, leaving him lurching awake, his chest tight with panic.
Deep down he knew it was because these dreams were different- because every single image his brain conjured up was entirely possible. 
MC had always been reckless, but they were taking it too far, putting their faith- their precious friendship- in the hands of a goblin , one close with Ranrok, no less.
The knowledge sat like poison on his tongue, disgust and fear raged a vicious war within him at the thought.
How long until MC was betrayed, and nobody would be there to save them?
Years spent in Feldcroft, dealing with the constant threat of Goblin Loyalists, and Sebastian had never seen them as violent, as determinedly targeted as when they clashed against MC. Terror races in his veins at the thought of what they might do if they finally got their claws on MC, what horrors MC might face before the goblins inevitably killed them. 
Look at what they had done to Anne, for the mere crime of existing- what would they do to someone who was actively seeking out and destroying their camps, intentionally getting in their way and investigating their plans?
MC was ignorant to the true nature of goblins, couldn't understand it like Sebastian did. They were blinded by their own naivety, mindlessly putting their trust in centuries-old Keepers and goblins, with no care for how their own life hung in the balance.
Deaf to reason, MC refused to listen to Sebastian, insistently running out of the castle to face unnamed threats, believing themself invincible or ignorant to the fact that they weren’t- it was tearing him apart.
It was in dreams that the truth was hardest for him to deny or hide from. 
If MC kept doing this, they would die. He was going to lose them.
Just like he’d lost his parents, like he was losing Anne- he hadn’t stopped those from happening, he’d been blind to the danger until it was too late- but not with MC. This time he could see the threat coming, he wouldn’t turn away from the danger they were in- not like MC was so determined to. He’d not allow their ignorance to get in the way, he couldn't . 
Sebastian was tired. Tired of losing the people he cared about, of feeling helpless to protect them and feeling haunted by the ‘what ifs’ for the rest of his life.
He couldn’t lose MC too, no matter what the cost.
---------------------
“An entire base, I heard.”
“Natty owes them her life.”
“You think they’d tell us what happened if I asked?”
Sebastian grits his teeth as the whispers of Hogwarts gossip follows him through the Castle, whispers which had been impossible to escape since breaking out at breakfast that morning, all about how MC had supposedly taken out an entire Ashwinder base to rescue Natsai Onai- a story which had apparently originated from the staff themselves, and Natty was making no effort to refute, happy to praise the heroic prowess of her friend.
The rumour itself isn’t surprising, not to him. He’d seen first hand what MC was capable of- more so than anybody else he’d dare wager, they were the most competent magical study Sebastian knew and would confess to as much regardless of whether they weren’t talking right now- no, it was the rest that frustrated him.
MC had raided an entire Ashwinder base, on their own. It infuriated him- this same recklessness, the blatant disregard for their own safety, had they even paused to think , to consider the risks before acting? How hard would it have been for them to pen a note to him for back-up first? Regardless of their last conversation, he would have been at their side in an instant, and they could have burned down that Ashwinder base together- he would have thought MC knew that, regardless of how petulant they had been acting recently.
Privately, if only to himself, Sebastian could confess that not all of his frustration was directed towards MC.
He’d been neglectful.
So caught up in the threat of Ranrok and his loyalists, it had been easy to forget about the sight of Victor Rookwood that day in the Three Broomsticks- too easily, he’d forgotten that loyalists were not the only ones hunting down MC.
At least against goblins, there was a wand-casting advantage- but with Ashwinders, MC could be facing any length of dark magic thrown against them, forbidden curses and conjurations against a student who had only been studying magic for a few months…
And yet, the realisation didn’t send the same white hot fear racing down his spine as when he thought about MC going up against goblins, something Sebastian didn’t care to question, but the thought of the dark wizards still worried him. Especially since whatever MC was doing when they weren’t on castle grounds, was clearly drawing the ire of the Ashwinders when they already had a target on their backs.
What was so important, it took priority over their own life?
The triptych, Sebastian could understand- that was MC’s magic they were talking about, and they were investigating it with him - someone MC could rely on, who certainly wouldn’t allow himself to be in need of rescuing.
Which begged the question, why had Natty needed rescuing?
Ashwinders had been terrorising the highlands since before even Ranrok’s Loyalists had taken over, and they had only grown more bloodthirsty as their power grew- it wasn’t like the dark wizards to spare mercy on anyone, even a child. If Natty had been in their way, she should have been killed- not captured.
So why was she ?
Curiosity stabbed at the back of his mind like an errant gnat, an itch he couldn’t scratch without burning his pride and asking MC themself, breaking the silence between them.
He’d have to settle for the Hogwarts rumour mill, how dull and disappointing.
Still, he had to wonder what purpose Victor Rookwood had for pursuing MC like this, drawing their ire against Ashwinder encampments and, from what he had heard, poaching rings. Ranrok, MC had told him about- the goblin’s relentless pursuit of ancient magic, targeting MC for the knowledge they had, searching at the locations of previous keepers- Isadora Morganach’s old home, Rookwood Castle-
He stumbled in his steps, only vaguely aware of the way it drew Ominis’ attention his way, the frown in his friend’s browline, “Sebastian, are you alright?”
He pulled himself together enough to brush off the concern, resuming their casual stroll to lunch, “Y-yeah I just tripped, faulty stair. Let’s keep going.” If Ominis said anything in reply, Sebastian wasn’t paying enough attention to know, mind already reeling.
Rookwood Castle.
Oh Merlin, he was an idiot.
This went beyond some minor truce with Ranrok to hand over MC, beyond any anger with MC for disrupting Ashwinder operations.
Victor Rookwood was the descendant of a Keeper.
He had to know about the Ancient Magic, and if that were true then there was no way he’d be willing to hand MC over to Ranrok, not if he’d figured out that they were able to wield it. 
Rookwood wasn’t stupid enough to trust a goblin, as much was obvious to him from the moment MC identified the pair conspiring together in Hogsmeade. Sebastian knew immediately that whatever alliance this was, it was tentative at best, built from a single shared goal- one that, once met, would see an immediate end to the alliance, with what he hoped would be a devastating fallout.
And he had a suspicion on the identity of their shared goal- not a ‘what’, like MC seemed to suspect, but a ‘who’.
First, he needed more information.
-------------------
By Beasts class that afternoon, his head was still swimming with his earlier realisation, with nothing else to focus on but all the questions he didn’t have answers to, a rush of energy through his body as he waited for the moment class would be over and he could head to the clocktower, hoping to find Natty there.
Anything that happened between then and now would fade to a trivial blur.
Or, so he’d thought, until Howin lead them all into a penned clearing not too far from the Beasts hut, and the creature held within was enough to temporarily abate all thoughts of Rookwood and the Ashwinders from his mind.
A Unicorn .
Pure white coat practically shining under the winter sun, shaking its mane with a gracefulness Sebastian didn’t know was possible, the ethereal image interrupted only by the careful wrapping of bandages around its torso, the slight limp to its steps.
He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Unicorn’s were so rare-
“Not too close, that’s it, Unicorns are excellent reads of character, but they tend to show a preference for witches over wizards. I wouldn’t want to startle them, especially not at the moment. Hopefully we’ll be able to introduce you all in the future, once they’ve gotten used to their new surroundings.” Howin directed them several paces away from the fencing, but still within sight.
Sebastian’s sure he isn’t the only one holding his breath when the Unicorn seems to finally notice it has company, but after a few seconds of watching them all, assured nobody is moving closer, the beast huffs, resuming its grazing.
He swears he hears Poppy Sweeting practically vibrating with excitement. 
“Of course, their caution isn’t unwarranted. Magical creatures adapt their behaviours over time to ensure survival- the Unicorn is no different. Just about one of the most magically-imbued creatures that exist, from their hair to their blood, they are practically made of magic potential- a fact which puts them at great risk.” As if on cue, the Unicorn stumbled over its right hoof, the front of which had stitches racing up the leg, a detail he had missed until now.
He wasn’t the only one who realised. From the corner of his eye, Sebastian caught the twisted expression on MC’s face. Absent-mindedly, he wondered if they were feeling some sort of kinship with the beast, as Howin pressed on with her lecture.
“Unicorns are not aggressive by nature, despite how powerful they are, and we’d be better off describing them as ‘prey’ animals. To make up for this, Unicorns have a very keen judgement of character, and when combined with their breakneck speeds, they’re able to evade predators- well, most of the time.” The Professor sighed, anger bleeding into her tone, “This one, we rescued from a pack of poachers. Even the most agile of creatures can be caught off-guard, especially if their predator is cunning enough- their natural self-defence tools won’t always be enough.”
Sebastian tried to imagine that. One of the most pure and magical creatures in the known wizarding world, ruthlessly targeted and hunted down until it was overwhelmed on all sides- injured, alone, without escape. Helpless to the malicious whims of a predator who’d use them for their magical potential, and discard what remained.
It was too easy to imagine, felt too familiar to think about. Nausea curled on his tongue.
“Aren’t we just as bad, then?” One of his classmates interjected. A Gryffindor, Elijah Jennings, who stumbled over his words slightly when the full attention of the class fell on him, “I-I mean, keeping the Unicorn in captivity, even after they heal…how is that any better than the poachers?”
Howin didn’t seem upset by the line of questioning. If anything, she seemed happy to answer, as though she’d been hoping someone would ask. Knowing Howin, she probably had been.
“Well, what is kinder Mister Jennings- releasing the Unicorn back into the wild, where they’d continue to be targeted by predators and likely die in a matter of days, especially without the support of their pack- or keep them at Hogwarts, yes in captivity, but where we know they will be safe and protected from those who’d do them harm?”
At this Jennings shut his mouth, but more interesting were the reactions of several students to the left of Jennings. Poppy Sweeting, who looked like she couldn’t agree more. MC, who was nodding along to Howin’s words, even though their attention hadn’t wavered from the injured Unicorn.
Howin continued, and Sebastian found himself hanging on to her every word.
“Sometimes, in order to protect magical creatures- especially endangered ones- a difficult decision must be made on their behalf,” With a single flick of her band, Howin levitated a bundle of feed the Unicorn’s way, “What is better, an upset Unicorn, or a dead one? What is a little bit of unhappiness in the short term, if it means they stay safe in the long term?”
A heaviness settles amongst the group at her severe words, watching in silence as the Unicorn eyes the bundle of feed warily, caution in its every step as it approaches. Then, slowly, the head bows as it begins to eat, tail swishing to the side in satisfaction.
Satisfied she’s made her point Howin proceeds on with the lecture, failing to notice that not all of her students’ attentions had recovered from her earlier statement.
Sebastian forces his gaze away from where it had fixated on MC, but keeps them in his periphery even as class continues.
---------------------------
The Clocktower wasn’t as busy or loud as Sebastian was used to, but given it was the younger years on the roster today, he couldn’t complain about there being less spectators.
Besides, it didn’t really matter how busy it was- as long as it had attracted the attention of the one person he was looking for.
Fortunately, Natty had claimed her favoured spot on one of the upper viewing decks. Sebastian didn’t get the appeal of watching a bunch of amateurs that hardly know their basic cast from a protego duel, and he’d told Natty as much in the past, but the Gryffindor had insisted she found it interesting, so who was he to judge?
Especially when it provided the perfect opportunity to talk to her, uninterrupted.
“Surprised to see you here, from what I’ve heard shouldn’t you be raiding some Ashwinder base right about now?”
“Sebastian! It’s good to see you,” Natty beamed at him as he joined her by the railing, looking down on the Crossed Wands duel taking place, “And I believe we both know you have the wrong side of that rumour, my friend, I am not the one who raised as Ashwinder base.”
He shrugged, keeping his tone light, “We both know there’s no way you were an innocent bystander, Natty.”
Sebastian liked Natsai Onai, teaming up with the transfer student on a few occasions in their fourth year during Crossed Wands- her taste for adventure could rival that of his own, something she no doubt had been drawn to in MC, in not a dissimilar way as he had. But their friendship was tentative, Sebastian knew the Gryffindor’s opinions on magic differed greatly from his own, with a propensity for black-and-white thinking so typical of members of the lion house.
There were lines Natsai Onai wouldn’t cross, which he’d never cared for in the past, but knowing now that she was engaging with dangerous enemies and dragging MC into it, likely ignorant to just how in-danger their mutual friend was- a pit formed in his stomach with the knowledge Natty wouldn’t do what was necessary in the heat of battle, she’d let MC die if it meant never using ‘dark’ magic.
Worse still, she’d allowed herself to be landed in such a position that required MC engaging directly with an Ashwinder camp to save her. It was a fight to keep the ire from his tone, something he’d never had to do around the friendly Gryffindor in the past.
Instead, he kept any subtle dig from bursting forth, instead regarding Natty with a sympathetic tone, “Still, I can’t imagine how terrifying that was. Are you alright?”
Natty nodded, a smile still present on her face, as though it didn’t even bother her to think of what her own recklessness could have cost, “I’m fine, really I owe my life to MC- they did not let me stay imprisoned for long.”
Yes, that sounded infuriatingly like them- rushing into danger the minute someone else’s life was at stake. Sebastian could picture it now, their impulsive rush to be the hero, not even sparing a second thought for their own safety, relying only on sheer power to get themselves through.
He took a grounding breath, reminding himself what he was here for.
“How did you end up in such a precarious situation?” Sebastian keeps his curiosity light, eyes still observing the duel taking place below them in an image of casualness.
Natty matches his nonchalance, as he’d hoped she might, he liked to think that their friendship was strong enough that she’d feel comfortable sharing the details with him. That, and he supposed the fact Sebastian had his own rumours circulating about his out-of-castle adventures with MC certainly helped, “We’ve been investigating Harlow- MC and I, for some time now- our investigation led us to some of his victims in Hogsmeade,”
The name comes to him easily. Theopholis Harlow- Rookwood’s Second in Command. Merlin , how reckless could MC get? It wasn’t enough for them to be interrupting the operations of Ranrok and Rookwood, no, of course they had to be going after Theopholis Harlow too.
He tried to keep his frustrations at a simmer, as Natty continued, “I suppose I was too reckless, I didn’t even realise the Ashwinders had noticed me until it was too late- they took me to a hidden base next to the Hog’s Head, held me and another man they were extorting in some cells in the back rooms. Even then, I knew MC would find me- our friend is quite the powerhouse,” 
That , Sebastian knew, was an understatement. Still, he wasn’t sure if he appreciated Natty’s praise, or hated how she just assumed MC would come running to her aid, like putting their safety on the line was something that should be encouraged- “One moment I am pacing in my cell, the next I am hearing the distant sounds of combat, and then MC is arriving to save us. Upon our escape, I realised they had taken on the entire base on their own- defeated every Ashwinder who had been on patrol.” Natty shook her head slightly, unable to keep the edgings of awe out of her voice, “I don’t know how they did it, I almost wish I could have seen it for myself. Watching them fight is…incredible.”
Yes it is.
Sebastian could watch MC take on legions of goblins all day, wield powerful ancient magic like the extension of themself he suspects it is, commanding the elements at their will, and still couldn’t believe what he’d witnessed. It was no surprise to him that MC was capable of clearing an Ashwinder base alone, but he wished they wouldn’t.
Still, there was another part of Natty’s story that didn’t quite fit, that Sebastian couldn’t make sense of no matter how hard he tried.
Why wasn’t Natty dead?
Ashwinders weren’t known for their mercy, they had killed and tortured their way into power over local hamlets indiscriminately- male or female, child or adult, none were spared the mercy of the Ashwinders if you had dared to get in their way. Natty should have been killed the second she was spotted prying into their affairs.
So why wasn’t she?
The question wrapped tight around his mind, the final piece of the puzzle he just couldn’t fit the picture together without. 
This conversation had been pointless, leaving him only with the same questions as he’d started with.There was only one other person Sebastian could think of that might have any answers for him, and by Merlin , if they were still talking he wouldn’t have even gone to all this trouble in the first place-
His thoughts are interrupted once again by Natty.
“You and MC are close…right?” Her voice is low and quiet, hesitant in such a way he is completely unused to hearing from the normally self-assured Gryffindor, “You were with them in the Three Broomsticks when Rookwood came after them.”
His focus sharpens immediately at the slip of vulnerability, he almost forgets to reply, “Yeah, I remember.”
Natty nods, but doesn’t turn to look at him, her gaze distant even as she looks down on the next Crossed Wands match. There’s none of her usual excited interest in her now-distant expression. Sebastian waits, and soon after Natty continues.
“After we escaped MC..MC asked me not to tell Officer Singer or anybody else about- well, I don’t want to betray their trust. But I haven’t stopped thinking about it, I can’t stop worrying and…and I know you’re both close-”
Warmth rushes through his body as the muttered admission, the reminder of how he and MC were widely-acknowledged amongst the school for how close they had become- he’d not missed the way his former Herbology partner had silently made way for MC one day in class, or the whispers from his roommates when they don’t think he’s listening. 
All the more indulgent now, that it seems they are considered close enough for Natty to divulge MC’s secrets to him.
Sensing Natty’s hesitation, he urges her on, “I worry about them too, wish they’d tell me more so we can keep them safe.”
It had been the right thing to say, Natty nodded absently, “I-yes, me too. You deserve to know- the Ashwinders, they only captured me in an attempt to gain information on MC. When I wouldn’t tell them anything they- I…I believe they were using me to lure them in, as a trap.”
Sebastian’s breath catches in his chest, the final puzzle piece falling into his lap, ready for him to piece together.
Rookwood and his Ashwinders were after MC. He knew that, Natty knew that, Merlin, Sebastian would bet everyone in Hogwarts knew that by now- but what Natty was talking about was something entirely different. 
Capturing a Hogwarts student to lure their rescuer in, interrogating Natty for information- that took intent, it took desperation and more importantly, forethought .
“I was lucky MC rescued me when they did, any delay and I-MC could be- I overheard-” A deep, shuddering breath, horror laced Natty’s words when she spoke next, hardly above a whisper, “They were on their way. Rookwood and Harlow.”
His head snapped around to stare at Natty before he could stop himself, 
“You’re sure?”
“It was the first thing the Ashwinders did after taking me, contact Harlow.” Natty’s voice was solemn, “I have been so foolish , Sebastian. If I’d known they were so desperate to get to MC-
“Did you hear anything else? Why they are after MC?”
“No, but Rookwood and Harlow have given direct orders to all their followers- to capture MC on sight.” Natty sighed, unmoved by Sebastian’s sharp attention. A testament to how deep her worry ran, “I am not the only one who has concerns, Poppy Sweeting heard the same whispers among Rookwood’s Poachers. But when she tried to warn MC-”
Sebastian knew the ending to this particular tale, a familiar bristle of frustration swelling in him as he completed her sentence, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice, “They brushed it off.” Reckless. Disregard for their own safety. Ignorant.
“I am worried for them, Sebastian. You didn’t hear how desperate the Ashwinders were- and MC, it’s-it’s like they don’t even care . I could not keep this a secret- I figured if anybody could get through to them, it might be you.”
“You did the right thing, Natty. I’ll handle this, trust me, I won’t let any harm come to MC.”
His unwavering conviction seemed to settle some part of Natty’s worries as she sighed, suddenly looking as exhausted as Sebastian had been feeling, she offers him one final smile, looking far less burdened than she had for this entire conversation, “I know you won’t, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. You’re a good friend, Sebastian.”
And with that, Natty was gone, leaving him alone on the upper platform, free to let his thoughts finally come together, finally letting his earlier thrill of realisation overwhelm him.
The mere possibility of getting to MC had been enough to demand the immediate attention of two of the region’s most dangerous dark wizards, to summon them to Hogsmeade and abandon whatever other terror had been occupying their time. Not even he had seen such a sense of desperation coming, and yet everything Natty just told him had  confirmed all of Sebastian’s earlier suspicions.
This went far beyond a simple alliance of convenience with Ranrok. Rookwood had his own plans where MC was concerned, and while the thought should terrify Sebastian, should fill him with the same torturous images as he suffered with the recollection of how Goblin Loyalists were targeting MC, it doesn’t .
Natty’s earlier words, whispered like some torturously painful secret, felt like guilty relief to his mind, ‘capture on sight’ .
Someone who wanted MC dead wouldn’t have their followers going to such great lengths to capture them- there would be blasts of the killing curse flying in MC’s direction every time they entered the battlefield, not convoluted plans to lure them into a trap.
No, Rookwood had plans for MC, and they depended on MC being alive. 
And it was no mystery why , even some moonmind hit by the confundus charm could figure that one out.
Rookwood knew about MC being able to use the Ancient Magic, he had to, and if that were true then there was no chance he would deliver MC to Ranrok if he got his hands on them first. There was no chance death would come for MC, if they were under the hold of Victor Rookwood.
In fact, Sebastian would bet Salazar’s relic that the moment Rookwood had secured MC, a way to access the Ancient Magic, his alliance with Ranrok would fall apart- hopefully, with the Goblin dead at Rookwood’s wand.
With a sudden lurch, Sebastian pushes himself away from the railing he’d been leaning against, acid burning in his throat as his train of thought caught up to him, what he’d actually been considering-
Victor Rookwood was a dark wizard, an evil, conniving bastard who led an underground crime ring built on corruption and extortion. Merlin, Sebstian lived in one of the Hamlets that fell under Ashwinder territory, his neighbours were victims of their rule of terror- he’s heard about the kind of things Rookwood’s people did to those who wronged them, the cruelty and depravity that none were above sinking to.
There was no corner of the Scottish Highlands that the Ashwinders had not conquered, no rival crime ring that hadn’t been either recruited or all-too-quickly eliminated. They answered to no one, their victims too terrified or too under their control to speak out.
And if Ashwinders were cruel, then Victor Rookwood was even worse. 
But he’s not afraid to backstab , a traitorous part of Sebastian’s mind whispered, He’s strategic, he has greater plans than this .
For all his cruelty and depravity, Victor Rookwood was smart. Smart enough to build a criminal empire from a measly local crime ring- the kind of ambition that spoke to greater plans, a hunger for power that extends beyond the simplicity of the Scottish Highlands. Cunning like that meant a want for a challenge , and Sebastian had heard whispers of Ashwinders spotted in other Wizarding towns- the beginnings of expansion.
Yes, Victor Rookwood was smart- smart enough to realise MC had more use to him alive rather than dead.
In spite of himself, Professor Howin’s earlier words resurfaced in his mind, louder than they had been all day.
“Even the most agile of creatures can be caught off-guard, especially if their predator is cunning enough- their natural self-defence tools won’t always be enough.”
Rookwood was smart in a way the goblins weren’t. Ranrok would kill MC the moment he realised they would refuse to tell him how to access the stores of Ancient Magic, blindsided by hate he’d slaughter them where they lay trapped.
“What is better, an upset Unicorn, or a dead one? What is a little bit of unhappiness in the short term, if it means they stay safe in the long term?”
But not Rookwood. No, Rookwood has lofty ambitions, a hunger for power- and he’d do anything to get there.
That much, Sebastian knew he could trust.
That much, he could work with.
------------------------
The ambient chatter of the Slytherin Common Room felt like a soothing blanket with the crackle of the fireplace, as he and Ominis sat in comfortable silence, lost in their respective textbooks.
Things between Sebastian and his best friend had been tense recently, they’d been bickering more than either of them were used to, terse words exchanged got increasingly heated in the days after Ominis had followed him to the Catacombs- but with MC’s intervention, it had been easy to move past. Ominis didn’t ask him about the relic, and Sebastian spared him the details, in moments like this it felt like everything would work out for the best. For now, this was enough.
Still, the familiar comfort of reading in the Common Room with Ominis wasn’t enough to settle his mind. With a frustrated huff, Sebastian slammed his textbook shut, resisting the urge to hurl the offending item to the floor, words a mess of squiggles behind his eyes.
To his side Ominis hadn’t so much as flinched, used to the petulance of his friend by now, and merely paused his wand from where he’d been scanning the Herbology textbook, raising one eyebrow.
“Honestly Sebastian, if you’re still so upset about your fight with MC perhaps you could try, oh I don’t know, talking to them? Merlin forbid, apologising ?” 
The scathing tone was nothing new, nor was Ominis’ preference to take MC’s side- he had a tendency of doing that, Sebastian hadn’t forgotten how quickly Ominis folded in the Catacombs with just a few words from MC- pathetic, they just had to bat their eyelashes and suddenly Ominis didn’t have a word to say against them. And now here he was, taking MC’s side over his best friend of five years.
Ridiculous. Ominis didn’t even know what happened, what gave him the right to comment? Even worse, to take their side?
“Drop it already Ominis, I have nothing to apologise for.”
“ That , I sincerely doubt.”
Sebastian grit his teeth as Ominis’ perfectly calm reply, forcing himself to settle his frustrations, “You wouldn’t be so quick to defend them if you knew what they-” He took a deep breath, “Can we not, talk about this again? Besides, that’s not even what’s bothering me-”
“Oh?” At this, Ominis seemed to perk up slightly, “Then what is it? It’s got to be important, to stop you moping about MC.”
He wanted to argue, he had not been moping, but the need to talk won out, needing to clear his head.
Going to speak, Sebastian hesitates, the words dying on his tongue. He can’t tell Ominis what’s really on his mind, knowing ‘furious’ wouldn’t even begin to describe whatever response he’d get in reward for his candor- Ominis’ unrealistic moral principles and bias for backing MC withstanding. 
“I just- I can’t stop thinking about something Hecat said in Beasts Class today.” Close enough to the truth, “Is it right to keep a magical creature in captivity, even if it’s for preservation?”.
Ominis frowned, “ That’s what has been bothering you? If it's keeping the beast safe, then what’s the problem?”
He tried not to scowl at the straightforwardness of Ominis’ answer, talking as if Sebastian were being an idiot, “Well, what if they’re unhappy?”
“I’m sure Professor Howin wouldn’t keep a beast in captivity if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, Sebastian,” That was a tone Sebastian was familiar with, and sure enough when he’d turned to look. Ominis was rolling his eyes, “At least this way it’s getting taken care of.”
“Oh yes , taken care of. What, for students to ogle at them, to be used for their magical features.”
“I don’t know much about Howin, but I doubt a Beasts Professor is motivated by greed, besides even if she was- would that be so bad? She wouldn’t be hurting the unicorn, and at least it will be safe here at Hogwarts.” Ominis paused, for a moment lost in thought, before he continued, a wrinkle of worry lining his forehead, “I hear Poachers have been getting increasingly troublesome recently.” 
The veiled implications are not missed on him, Sebastian has the feeling he isn’t the only one aware of MC’s recent exploits in the Highlands, the expansion of their enemy list they seem ever-ignorant to think about.
In the past, when Ominis mentioned MC’s exploits, it was always Sebastian’s job to defend them, insisting they were capable of handling themselves out there, that they’d ask for help if they needed it. Beliefs he was struggling with more and more with each adventure he joined them on.
“How can Howin know that what she’s doing is right?”
Ominis’ head tilted slightly at his words, momentarily struck by the sombre tone. Uncertainty was never a good look on his impulsive best friend,  “I suppose she can’t know- not for certain- but the Unicorn is safe now isn’t it? Nobody is going to harm it here, so she’s doing something right.”
He let the words wash over him for a moment, assured by the conviction in Ominis’ words- despite their recent disagreements, he could always trust Ominis to be honest with him. And if Ominis, one of the most virtuous people he knew, felt Howin’s actions were justified, then…
His thoughts are momentarily broken as Ominis speaks up again, voice notably quieter than before, “Are you sure that’s all, Sebastian? It’s not like you to get caught up on something so fickle.”
Fickle? Like any of what he was dealing with right now was even close to fickle .
Still, he was touched by Ominis’ obvious concern. They’d always been able to read each other so easily, something that had become more of a hindrance than help to Sebastian in the past year, with Ominis interfering with his every plan made towards a cure for Anne. No matter how deeply he wished he was able to talk to Ominis about this, he knew his best friend was beyond understanding.
“I’m fine, Ominis, it’s just been a long week.” A lot on his mind, ever more so now. 
“Well, if you insist.” The false lightness of his voice wasn’t lost on either of them, nor the slowness of Ominis to pick up his wand again and continue reading, as if hoping Sebastian might change his mind.
The silent gesture is lost on Sebastian as his mind finally catches up with him, flickering heat of the fireplace burning its image on the back of his retinas as conflict rages a war within him. The urge to pace is unbearable, but the last thing he has the energy for is more of Ominis’ suspicion.
MC is a free spirit, he knew that, just as he knew how much they hated Victor Rookwood, but what else could he do?
What could he do against their blind ignorance to the danger they’re in, carelessly throwing themselves in the path of goblin loyalists and countless other threats, depending on raw talent and reckless fervour to come out the victor. Someday, Sebastian knew raw power wouldn’t be enough.
They’re endangered, yet they keep insisting on fleeing the safety of the Castle walls to invite trouble, throwing themselves to the line of fire even as the threats against them become more incensed, ever more determined.
Ranrok Loyalists. Ashwinders. Between the two, Sebastian knows which side he’d prefer to see win. He also knows there’s only one side which MC is likely to stay alive with. Against such stakes, why should he worry about anything else?
Mind made up, he pushes himself to his feet with renewed vigour, book nestled under one arm, “Well, I’m turning in, you coming?”
“No, I’m going to finish this reading first on dittany. You know, for Garlick’s essay- the same one you have? ”
“I’ll do it later.”
“It’s twenty inches Sebastian, you need to pace these sorts of things out!”
“Yeah, well I’m tired tonight.”
“ Tired ?” Ominis paused, likely realising the same thing he had- that Sebastian hadn’t been eager to sleep for weeks now. For a moment, Sebastian worried he was about to get questioned further on why the sudden change in spirit, fortunately, Ominis dropped it just as quick, “Well, I suppose you do need the rest, don’t think I haven’t noticed you nodding off in class.” What a hypocrite , he bit down on a witty retort, not wanting to antagonise Ominis any tonight, “I’ll see you up there.”
“Night, Ominis.” 
Leaving the chatter of the Common Room behind for the silence of his dorm room had been a dreaded exchange for weeks, the quiet unable to defend Sebastian against his racing thoughts in the same way gossiping housemates and stray spells could- but tonight, he had no such wish to drown out his thoughts.
Lying in the plush four-poster bed, curtains drawn around him, Sebastian welcomes a new distraction, the familiar thrill of a plan unfolding before his eyes. It wouldn’t be without its challenges, he knew that, but if everything went to plan- if he was right about his, about Victor Rookwood- then the fears that had plagued him for weeks, the images that burned behind his eyes whenever they landed on MC- it would all be over, they would be safe .
He had to be right about this.
Lost in a whirlwind of careful schemes, moves and countermoves playing over and over in his mind, it’s hard to tell when the lul of sleep finally takes over- plans fading to black, fitful nightmares taking their place.
------------------
Taunting jeers sounded across the encampment, sounding over the blasts of magic and clanging of steel weapons, hurling down in flashes of obsidian red.
The target of their ire standing in the middle of it all, eyes gleaming in the heat of battle, was MC.
Hair whipping around them from the sheer might of their power, grin wide on their face as they effortlessly dodge another incoming blade, turning back just in time to pull from the might of the skies, another enemy fallen at their wand. 
They were a deity of battle, the picture of beauty even amongst the drudge and viciousness of the battlefield, bodies at their feet, twisted grimaces of their enemies in their face. They were untouched by it all, above them in both image and power.
Until suddenly, they weren’t.
Without warning, the sea of goblin loyalists became an overwhelming tidal wave, ethereal blue swallowed by tainted red, all that could be heard was a single piercing cry, tortured and desperate, as MC fell to their knees. A plea, and for a moment, just a moment, he hears his name -
“Sebastian!”
Silence rang across the encampment.
Impossible to tell if a minute had passed or hours when the red sea parts, the scene changes, or maybe it stays the same. What does it matter, whether goblins outline the perimeter, or aren’t there at all, it’s all a blur against the picture of a broken figure in the dirt, held down with chains of goblin silver.
All he can see is MC, lying in the ground, battle-worn and weary, bruised and beaten from hours of torment, blood dripping from a mark on their temple. The urge to wipe it away, to sweep them into a protective embrace is overwhelming-
Footsteps echo across the empty cavern mine? camp? and MC’s head raises- eyes wide and alarmed, snarl across their lips as their attacker approaches, instantly recognisable to them.
Even in memory, he recalls this face.
Ranrok stares down at MC where they are held at his feet, blood red eyes glinting with promised malice, loathing written plainly across the goblin’s features.
One clawed hand wraps around an axe, long and sharpened, Ranrok raises it above his head and prepares to swing down
MC doesn’t move, they watch the blade with wide eyes, tear tracks cut paths down their face that hadn’t been there moments before. In the next beat they should struggle, start fighting- but they don't. Silently, their head bows in acceptance.
What happens next is inevitable, has played before him a thousand times, but he’s too far away, he can’t reach them- why can’t he reach them ? Damned only to watch, helpless to do anything, powerless to save MC, and yet he can’t close his eyes, even as the axe falls, death cuts through the air and a broken cry waits to burst from his chest-
A streak of grey shoots across the scene, seconds later the axe embeds itself in the empty earth where its intended target had just been lying.
In its wake follows a rage of fire, swallowing the goblins whole.
Breath stolen, the new image burns itself into his memory, in an explosion of fire all other possibilities are reduced to ashes.
The snake binds around MC’s frame to keep them kneeling in the ground, slitted red eyes survey the desecrated area, poised to attack, ready for whatever enemy next crosses their path. Perceiving of threats in a way its prize was not.
MC’s eyes suddenly ablaze and the flush of life hot in their cheeks. Any sign of earlier torture gone from their skin, which almost shines with magical potential, their delicate blue brushing against deep grey scales.
The Ashwinder holds MC tight within its coils, now, finally , safe against any blow that may be raised against them, no matter how much they desperately fight in its hold.
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sparring-spirals · 1 year
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You know, my takeaway from Imogen in the last episode actually went a bit differently. She approaches Orym and Laudna about what they think of the whole thing almost as if she's asking permission to be uncertain. And the Hells try to reassure her, and confirm that they're doing what they have to, but no one ever actually asks how she's doing, how she feels about it (maybe they did and I missed it). It's one thing to do what you have to, but Imogen may be feeling a bit alone right now.
I mean, if it helps, that entire last post was specifically in reaction to the conversation directly after the encounter with Liliana- the tone of the interaction and conversations between then and the conversations at the end of the episode are, I think, drastically different.
That said, while I agree that Imogen is no doubt feeling burdens and choices weigh down for a whole host of reasons, and is probably feeling isolated in it- I don't think they're at a juncture where asking her how she's doing, or how she's feeling, more than they already have been- would help, or even be what Imogen is seeking out.
(I'm also not sure that, at a certain point. Its a fair thing to ask of them, especially given well. Ongoing events. Recent worries. I think they try, anyway- Laudna does explicitly ask- but there is so much weighing on them as well).
They have asked Imogen, how she's doing, as things got worse and worse and more personal, and generally gotten "No im. Fine." which I recall mostly because I've enjoyed making memes about BH going "hey are you ok" and Imogen, clearly Not great, going "Im FINE what why do you even ask whaaat". Within the conversation with Laudna itself! There's a "how are you feeling", and Imogen says "Good" and "You don't have to lie to me" then "No this is terrible" and a laugh because- the world is ending! the world is ending. none of them are fine. its all bad.
I think what both Laudna and Orym try to do in their conversations- try to reassure, meet her where she's at, answer her questions and offer their own support for whatever she chooses. Is its own form of kindness, that registers that uncertainty in her and tries to provide help for that, in particular. And I don't think Imogen is the kind of person to not be cognizant of that. It is a form of care, I think, and moreso when the world is ending, and everyone is their own version of wrecked and fighting through it, and there are no shortage of questions.
I think Imogen probably does feel a little alone, isolated, right now, and I also doubt that further inquiry into her mental state or her emotions would alleviate that particular sensation.
But seeing that doubt, that fear, that worry, and offering: My love and meaning has not been irreparably tainted by this, no. I'm not worried about you. Try not to beat yourself up. You have this choice. Its yours. Whatever you choose, I am with you.
It's not fixing everything, because I don't think anything can. but on the list of things to do, in situations like this- its not nothing. Far from it.
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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months
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As you can see, this race is off to a good start
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#nah bcs why did trulli and sutil fighting compell me#idk kinda obsessed with it#like the way jarno is shorter than adrian and keeps coming at him#and adrian keeps trying to placate him and apologize by grabbing his arm#i will gif it :D i like it and idk why#but my god the pitlane incident#its funny cause i actually do really like the pre-2010 fuel strat even tho it feels a bit dangerous#they def made is safer since Jos' accident#but then moments like these remind me of why it doesnt exist anymore#to clarify:#Kovalinen was trying to get out ahead of Kimi and thus accidentally ripped out the fuel hose#thus spraying a bunch of fuel at kimi's car and into the cockpit among other places#and kimis exhaust made the fuel momentarily burst into flames#and i find the fuel strat way more interesting than modern tire strar#but i saw that and im like ah yes perhaps a good thing that it doesnt exist anymore#bur bro that first lap was absolutely insane like just so much shit going on#incident btwn kovalainen and fisi that im still not sure about. and during that i think heikki hit Seb a bit#and then the crash btwn sutil and trulli was very crazy like the way sutil's car slid across the track#and not only it slide across the track but he also accidentally ended up taking out Nano as well 😭😭#and the the girls were fighting(compelling)#and then the fuel hose incident#OH WAIT YEAH and also kimi's wing got clipped by mark#so much going on. so i hope the rest of the race isnt too boring in comparison#catie.rambling.txt
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iguessigotta · 2 years
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Have you ever thought of the prospect of Dark being able to hypnotize? My Drabble lord, please bless me with a hypno Drabble 👏😩
have i thought about Dark being able to hypnotize? ONLY EVERY FUCKIN DAY SINCE I READ THAT ONE FIC weirdlyhornyforegos DID!! TW/CW: mind control, possible dub-con if you squint, reader's havin a fuckin great time tho, nsfw-ish No gendered pronouns used, but written with a transmasc reader in mind i tried to base the general vibe off of some of the honestly hottest lyrics I've ever heard: "I can't wait to get you all alone, all alone//Once I'm in, there ain't no letting go, letting go//Watch me turn your mind into my home" - Mind Games by Sickick "Bite your tongue//Don't you know how wild these thoughts will run?//Careful now//I hang on every word that leaves your mouth" - Ideas by Au/Ra but idk how well i did there, lmao
Your mind felt hazy, slowed and dragging slower by the second. Stringing a full thought together took a near-Herculean effort, as though you were trudging through knee-deep mud, feet sticking to the bottom with every step. A lazy drunken smile spread across your face as you swayed lightly in place, your eyes rolling back before closing, as your head tilted up to the ceiling. You felt confused, disconnected, almost floaty. You breathed a bit heavier, feeling the panic of not having a tether to the ground beginning to rise in you, as though you might float away if someone didn't save you. It was hard to stay standing, even harder to think.
Exactly how you'd asked him to make you feel.
Eventually that tether you craved did arrive, in the form of Dark's hands wrapping gently around your arms, pulling you towards him. You gasped when his hand appeared in you hair, cradling you head, only to let out a contented sigh as his lips met your neck. At the same time, you felt this odd sensation, as though someone had tied a rope to your mind, and now they were gently tugging on it. Try as you might, you couldn't figure out what it wanted. The addition of quiet, distant voices wasn't much help. You strained to make out words, frowning and letting out an unhappy sound when you couldn't sort out what it was saying. What it was commanding you to do.
Dark froze at the sound, backing off and lifting his head to look you in the eye. "What's wrong, Love?" the hint of genuine fear in his voice was like a stab to the heart, "Are you alright?"
"W-what? Am I...wait, nonono, you're fine," you said, voice raising to a near-whine as you reached out to hold his face in your hands, "You didn't d-do anything wrong." He held still a moment, resting his cheek in your hand, looking at you, before closing his eyes and letting out a breath you didn't know he'd been holding.
"Is it too much, then?" he asked, a teasing tone to his voice, "I can always turn it off, you need only ask. I know how much of a toll this can take on a mind."
"Turn it off? Don't you dare!" you half-shouted, dragging his face to yours, resting your foreheads together with a giggle, "I-it's - I - I'm..." You huffed and tried to organize your sluggish thoughts. "It's not overwhelming, that's the problem," you confessed, feeling a little guilt at demanding more from him, "My head's slow, but still too loud. I can't hear the.....your.....commands...well enough. I don't kn-now what they're saying."
As you spoke, you felt your face heat up, suddenly very glad you'd pressed your foreheads together, as you were sure you couldn't look him in the eye at that moment. His breath fanned across your face as he let out a light chuckle before moving down to kiss your neck.
"Oh, is that all?" he asked against your skin. Or, you thought he did. You found yourself suddenly unsure if he'd spoken at all, as he continued to kiss a line down your throat. You took a steadying breath as the room began to do a slow backflip, clinging to Dark's arms in an effort to stay upright. You heard him chuckle again, but this time the sound came from inside your own head, echoing lightly, making your mouth split in a smile, a light laugh escaping you. Reality felt like it was spinning, the weightless feeling was nearly overwhelming now, turning Dark into your sole anchor, making you desperately crave any contact you could have with him.
And then you felt that tug on your mind again. The accompanying voices were much louder this time, though you still couldn't make out what they said. It seemed as though your body understood, however, as it started moving on its own. You watched as your own hands raised themselves to press against Dark's chest, pushing him back, pulling another chuckle from him. You grinned at him before letting control over your body go.
Dark watched you turn with a small smile, his hand dragging lightly across your back. He made quick work of removing his jacket and shirt, barely holding back an affectionate laugh when you stumbled, catching yourself on the bedpost, before following you.
His hand rested lightly on your back as he slid past you into the bed, laying on his back. You held back a frown, opting instead to tilt your head at him in confusion, brows furrowed. "What are y-" you began, earning you a soft "Hush, Love" and another, stronger, tug at your mind. You let out a shaky breath before allowing your body to move. Unfortunately this time Dark stopped you with a hand on your shoulder.
"Ah, I forgot," he murmured, sitting upright and reaching for the waistband of your pants, "These need to come off first." Without even a second's warning, Dark pulled your pants and underwear down to your ankles, pressing a kiss to your outer thigh as he straightened up.
"I apologize," he spoke, that light teasing tone back in his voice, "It seems I'd skipped a step in my excitement." When you made eye contact again, you fought to not hide your face, suddenly shy under his burning gaze. He smiled softly, a mischievous turn to the corner of his mouth, before laying back once more, eyes still on you.
You wanted to say something, but before you could form a shred of a thought, you felt that tug again. Closing your eyes and sighing happily, you let it move your limbs, pulling yourself onto the bed and climbing clumsily to straddle Dark's torso. You began inching upwards, towards his face, as his hands came up to rest on your ass. You frowned lightly, pausing to look down at him.
"T-this.....isn't what I thought you'd have me doing," you spoke slowly, straining to keep the slur out of your words, "What're y-" He cut you off with a gentle "shh" before pressing on your ass, forcing you upwards again.
"Don't worry, My Love," he said, breath hot against your inner thigh as he helped you to straddle him, hovering nervously above his mouth, "Be patient and let me have my fun first. It will be your turn soon enough." Before you had a moment to think of objecting, his grip, now on your hips, tightened as he pulled you down to him.
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revasserium · 2 months
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Can you share some of your favorite press-on nails you’ve tried?? If you don’t mind ofc it’s just that I love nail art and I’m always looking for inspo when painting my nails<3✨
omg!! ofc! i actually have only worn handmade pressons one time, and it was from a physical stall in ktown but ive been browsing etsy and i found some super cute ones !!! i mainly ordered short nails because of my job -- i'm basically sitting at a computer typing all day, so longer nails are more difficult. here are some that i thought were really cute:
this gold tulip set
sakura flowers
strawberries!!!
pastel pink bows
pink glittery rhinestones
pink glitter rhinestones pt2
green and gold "jade"
black cat set (really similar to the set i actually bought!!)
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borderlinegerard · 2 months
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cause when you leave, you take more than your love
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ratcandy · 2 years
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thoughts I’ve had about the moonshine mob because I need some place to hold and drop them at the same time . i am posting this as a means of intense distraction purposes after spending a few nights putting stuff in here so bear with me
- I keep imagining the lot of them to the old “Mad Tea Party” videos by Brandon Rogers. I can’t tell you why this started everything else just falling to pieces in my head but this is what started it . Namely one image in my head that I absolutely have to draw of “YOU’RE HOMOSEXUAL, STOP IT” @ snail announcer and anteater
- same vein as that ^ “i’m making copies-- move, I’m gay” is how I’ve been characterizing the snail.i nmy head. so do with that what you will
- Is anyone going to make a comparison between Lightbug and Jessica Rabbit or am I going to do it . Because I keep imagining her to be just like Jessica Rabbit and the thought WILL NOT leave me. Want so badly to see lightbug to “Why Don’t You Do Right?” it would be so good it kills me
- In all the thoughts I’ve had thus far there’s been at least three (3) of the fly goons . I like to think they are brothers. Why? Reasons
- OH And the recurring thought that I’ve been obsessed with all morning. So whenever I see a spider/tarantula character I always end up sitting here like “oh my god the peets” because tarantulas have such good peets. bitches have paws. So what I’m getting at is that Spider Mobster
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Peets. He’s got em. And not only does he got peets, but I see them as an inside joke in the mob . he came in one day missing a shoe and the peets were spotted, so from that day forward should he ever lose a shoe ever again everyone has to point out the fuzzy wittle paws on the big scary spider and he gets so mad
-  caterpillar is the straight man to these bunch of losers . only man around here with logical thinking going on but in the sense that he’s part of a bootlegging group and stills responds to threats of crime with “what! but that’s illegal”
- this image but everybody does this to snail . regularly
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