#and yes. i understand people will write what they want kjs is literally written by GERARD WAY what do you expect etc etc

[kobracola]

what is the killjoys fandom’s obsession with churning out tortureporn …. rattling my tin cup for some found family slice of life toothrotting fluff genfic

[bronanlynch]

another week, another summary of stuff I’ve been up to

I wasn’t gonna do another one so soon but I had things I wanted to talk about so. here we are

listening: Karma by Marina while I think about my soon-to-be-ex-boss and the fact that he might finally face some consequences for being 1) awful at his job 2) just a horrible unpleasant human being in general

reading: Spectred Isle by KJ Charles, and then Drowned Country by Emily Tesh, because they’re both similar flavors of creepy forest English folklore and apparently that’s what my brain wanted. both very enjoyable and also gay. Spectred Isle was very fun for me personally as an archaeologist, in this economy I too would’ve taken a job working for some rich guy who wanted me to use archaeology to prove that magic is real so the main character is incredibly valid. also I’m a sucker for like, there’s this old legend and now we’re gonna find out the truth the underlies it and also mess around in some ruins and find some old bones. plus an entire subplot about how much the government sucks. you love to see it. a fun fact about this book is that a significant part of it takes place super near where my ex lives. love to read a place name and be like. oh I met her at that train station once

Drowned Country is the sequel to Silver in the Wood which also absolutely fucking slaps. this one has vampires and fairies and lovely ominous descriptions of the ocean and a very cool lady adventurer/researcher whom I would gladly read entire novels about. also look how fun and sexy this cover is

watching: I would love to tell you that I’ve watched literally any television other than more Supernatural, I really would, but unfortunately for all of us here we are yet again. this is the kind of exclusive content that you get by being my friend

I’m also working my way through Hbomberguy’s Pathologic video so that I understand what people are saying when they talk about Pathologic, and also it’s an interesting video. love a good video essay

playing: finished replaying Dishonored and cried at the ending because I love my daughter Emily so much. I was stuck at the very beginning of the last mission for a while and then mentioned to a friend that I was having trouble getting past the guards and they were like “I just used the sewer” and I was like. ah yes of course I definitely know what you’re talking about, but internally I was like. what do you mean there’s a sewer. so I swam around and found the sewer and went that way this time. also spent a while exploring the tower that’s only relevant in high chaos but there were no guards there in low chaos so it was just a neat place to poke around. I got ghost for the mission which I’m proud of myself for but I do wish that was reflected in-game somehow. like, when you reach Havelock he’s monologuing about how Corvo’s coming for him and how Corvo took out all the guards down below and I’m like, I didn’t take out any guards I sneaked past them all you have no fucking idea I’m coming for you, as far as you know I’m still dead since I got ghost on the previous mission too

making: I wanted to make a mince pie and also my family gingerbread recipe but Unfortunately I am Quarantined in my room and can’t make food for other people and I’m grumpy about it

writing: the only thing I’ve written this week was my resignation letter babey

[riverdalesuperfans]

episode 2x12 - my thoughts

I did a whole 360 on this. I really didn’t wanna write it after I saw the episode. It was weird for me, dare to say overwhelming. The kind of feeling I was watching a different show. But I did rewatch and let some time pass so here we go. I think I mostly want to do a shot-by-shot type of commentary this time.

We have the whole Archie interning for Hiram. They told us right from the start where the plot would go. I didn’t take Jug the narrator literally. I should have.

My Varchie heart exploded. It felt like he saw the bride. Ronnie was angelic and Archie was in another world. It gave me 1x01 feels.

Hiram loves his daughter so much.

I am annoyed by the sheriff. I know he is a pawn but that’s exactly why I annoyed. I just dislike these type of characters so much.

Jughead talking to him and FP laughing. I liked their dynamic here.

Betty the cam girl - It’s gonna be a different post. Like I did last time .... spoiler? I hated it

So Veronica invites her chosen family to her confirmation. Cool. I had forgotten they were friends. I know the show has a few different storylines it follows and maybe the friendships are not front and center right now but it makes this comment hard to believe. It’s too ship-centric and I want more friendships. If you can’t give it to me don’t try to trick me with these comments.

Hey Kevin and bye Kevin. Use him more, I beg you.

Hiram wants to take legal action against the school newspaper. He is really going hard against 16-year-olds huh? After this episode, his vendettas look even more amusing to me. Well, I guess this article really did damage so I digress.

I appreciate this Bughead scene so much. It was real, jealousy gold and Jughead was honest. Way honest. I loved it. Yeah, Betty had to ask but whatever.

They did some stuff. I am not mad, it’s not a kid show and it doesn’t change much for me knowing it was a bit more than a kiss.

She didn’t tell him about Archie... Part of me was disappointed but part of me felt it was awkward to tell him. I feel Archie is different than Tony. Plus Jughead was a bit salty she had sent Archie to break up. But the of course not comment was too far.

Families in our business too? So the St Clair’s are in the exact same business? I am confused.

Hermione is not happy with Archie

This agent annoys me on a sheriff-times-100 level. Get rid of him. I hope he was just a plot device so Archie can get close to Hiram. Let him go now, thanks.

I wanna be there for Veronica, not the FBI. I am so happy that after 2x10 they do write Varchie as clear as Bughead. Especially this episode. So in love, no other motives. I feel everyone that still doubts it watches a different show and tries to find excuses. Clear as can be.

The only way I could be kind of satisfied is if agent Adams is with Hiram’s competition. I dislike the whole FBI needs 16-year-old.

They are evicting them from their homes.... It will only lead to a war, how is this a smart move?

The scene with Josie made my heart break... her heart was broken! She didn’t want to be there and I don’t know why the mayor’s had a change of heart. Hermione talked to her? Is she scared? Also, Veronica could - partly at least - so remorse for the Pussycats petty move.

Hiram is happy with Archie. Invites him to the poker game, to serve at least. We can’t say how deep Archie is enough.

Nice interview Chic.

When Jughead realizes there is someone else behind the mayor, I loved her reaction

I’ve always liked you. lol

Awww Varchie volunteering... and Veronica is protective! Also the scene we realize she knows exactly how dangerous her family is and I cry a little inside.

Bughead team is back. She is with him even after he pushed her away. Precious.

You always have an agenda daddy

He really wants Archie in? I don’t know. Again, protective Veronica.

Penny. Such a good scene. She feels a bit deranged? Also, Jughead did carve her tattoo off! No wonder FP was disappointed.

The Fp and Jughead scene was good. Jughead needs to learn to think out his actions more. Show me how messed up what he did to Penny was. That’s the kind of thing you don’t come back from. Thank you! At the same time, FP is not a good father. He is better now but people seem to forget all he did easily. You will be the death of us is way harsh for the guy that we saw season one.

Archie denying the wire was much appreciated. I won’t go through this agent sh*t again.

I feel like I jump on who is Chic’s father way too much. I never said I wanted him to be FP’s but the last episode felt like it. But ok he is Hal’s son. Alice wouldn't be all make an effort otherwise. Oh, Alice... She is so happy and protective of Chic. Go on Hal, run to Penelope.

The fact that Veronica feels she leads Archie on a dangerous path is not enough for me. I think it should hit her more. She was devastated when she started to realize who her father is but that was at the embezzler stage. She wanted to be with Lodge industries but said everything has to be legal. But now she is ok? At least she knows it’s messed up enough to not want Archie involved.

The Lodge women gathering was sad and it made me feel stupid after I saw the whole episode. How did I not see it coming? I was confused but I was really naive.Never thought they’d go there.

Did the poker game humanize Hiram a bit? The whole bit with Pop was a nice touch. Also, the Fred/Hermione reference made him look like a little boy compared to his partners.

Take Hiram out.... YES I STILL DIDN’T REALISE THE EXACT LENGTH OF THE STORYLINE SHOOT ME PLEASE

The confirmation.... Josie was miserable, Veronica was deadly beautiful. How her whole world went dark when the priest asked her about evil works? AND they showed her parents. Please show us she will understand what she is truly in with. How it lights up when she looks at Archie? It was greatly directed.

That Archie laugh was funny and just a bit weird? It felt like KJ, not Archie.

Jughead again is being so honest. He doesn’t hold back this episode. I know he needs support right now and Betty has her own demons, but she took it really well. He cut Penny, at least gimme a comment.

You are my beacon in the night. The parallel with the confirmation scene was spot on.

I got the feeling Veronica was ready to break up with Archie. Happy she didn’t but dare to say happy she thought of it? I will keep saying it. Show me she understands how messed up her world is.

The finding of the head was a bit forced but whatever. I still loved the sleuthing Bughead duo.

Archie saved Hiram. I didn’t have a doubt he would but did he know it would kill the other guy? Probably. I wanna see how he handles it.

Betty with the serpents. That trio walking in the Wyrm was iconic.

When Archie said a mobster I was left with my mouth open. Call me stupid, I didn’t see them go this far. It was the only thing I was thinking after the episode. After my shock, I am interested but only cause I see the show way differently now. It is different. I know was had the Jason murder and the Black hood, but this feels way too dark for me. It is Veronica’s family.... I don’t know if I welcome it but whatever. Will see...

He didn’t wanna know! I am sure he didn’t cause the agent.

Her father is in the mob and he loves her. AND I WAS SO HAPPY THAT HE REALISES SHE KNEW. I had written about my fears and now I am so relieved.

We can ask Veronica on Monday..... How will this affect the kids, I so wanna see. (I am so laughing when I write kids... gosh they are 16)

The Bughead scene was very nice. The realization they don’t have to push each other and that they need their relationship. It didn’t bother me getting back and sleeping together for the first time in the same scene. Their feelings have been boiling up so long and they’ve been close before so why not? It was beautiful. This Betty Cooper is how you explore your sexuality.

Is Chic home...?

AGENT, PLEASE LEAVE. Archie? What do you think would happen?

He said nothing. I didn’t expect him to. But is he a bit enamored with Hiram’s lifestyle? I know he loves Veronica and that's his first reason but he started the whole investigation cause his father is involved. Now he knows Hiram is a mobster and he is not afraid for him? I am confused, I wanna know.

Betty was so happy!!!!! Dammit.

Also, Alice was weirdly calm? Was it an accident? Self-defense?

[sassasquashedgrapes]

Kardashian Dreaming

Had the coolest/most bizarre dream ever. 

I was seated at this meeting with Mama Kris Jenner, Rob was there and prolly the other family members, I can’t remember. And she was gonna hire me or wanted to hire me, and it was an interview or something am not so sure.  But basically my role was to hang around the whole Kardashian-Jenner clan, be on the prowl on the stuff they do, find research backing up evidence that what they do is effective by science (but way better than David Avocado Wolfe levels, more classier and actually backed up by a medical doctor (hello, me!), and yes, blog about it.

Or ghost write articles whatever floats my boat. Basically tag along with them, maybe occasionally take their pics for Instagram/Snapchat as to back up the article I wrote or blogged, but not in a PA kind of way.  I’m more like just like a third party observer, I am to be treated cordially and kindly, not like staff, whom I don’t like as some are bossy, snobby divas (must be competition syndrome who knows?).

I don’t get to be on the show either (Thank God, I wasn’t the type who wanted that sort of attention to begin with), but as a fan of the series, it’s a treat that I get a full-depth view of what goes on in the family for real and ahead from what’s aired on E!, way before everyone else gets to see it (of course I have a disclosure clause tho I can write anything, as long as Mama Jenner approves of the topic of course, like I report directly to her anyway and she does keep direct tabs with me on the stuff that I write).

Well, anyway, going back  to the story: Then Kris goes for the jugular and looks  me in the eye and says “we pay higher than 500 per hour”, kinda making me know she’s done her homework about me and that whatever I’m currently being paid for at my current job,  she’s willing to pay me higher (lol. 600 maybe?) and before y’all start thinking, I knew deep down Mama Kris meant she was gonna pay me at least 600 US Dollars per hour just to “keep up with them”,  and I had a fixed schedule of reporting 3-4x a week at least four hours to a maximum of 8 hours a day, as for specifics on time well, if there are evening events and if I’m free, I can go and would be paid double for night differential. All of which was pretty ok by me.

I learned in my 90 minute snooze that the Kardashian clan are actually pretty generous employers. Like you got free range around the house (of course you can’t enter the private rooms unless you’re invited by the owner to go in and there are CCTVs so they do know when PAs steal their stuff), you can eat whatever food is in the pantry (except stuff that’s labeled with the names of the girls if they’re saving it for later, like Kim writes her name on it labeled as “Kim” or “Kiki”, Kourtney uses a green tape label so you know it’s hers, shit this dream is so detailed, it was beyond!!!

Anyway, so I get the job yo’. I’m hanging out with Kanye West. He’s not even scary. He’s actually very nice and polite, not like the angry dude you always see on the telly.

So he’s going about talking being drawn to different kinds of wall graffitis (I swear I had no idea there were even types to begin with!  Shit there it is on google, people I am just typing this website and googling it down now because I thought that dream was just crack but fuuuucccck nnnhhooo!!!) and showed me this wall written with words like yeezy (yes written in bold with no caps on the first “y”) and a quote, I can’t remember but I know it was a cool quote about believing in yourself and pretty profound one at that. It took me a while to realize while talking to this man that he was in the process of making his own font!! People, Kanye West was designing his own fucking Times New Roman y’all!!! Prolly use the letterings to put it on his shirts, on his album, have it sold on Microsoft Office or whatnot, this shit is superb I simply cannot!!!.  It wasn’t a useless font,  it’s like a relatable font that could be used for making a slogan, a poster, or heck even as a document paper if you don’t mind wasting some ink on the printer.

It was super genius, I tell you. I remember giving him feedback about it (because he asked me, that’s how cool the ‘Ye is, he gets feedback from the masses coz he wants to understand the common people!) that I liked the design on the wall except if I stood at a certain distance, I couldn’t read the first word written on top (I can’t believe I had the nerve to talk up to the ‘Ye) but he was super cool about it and admitted he hadn’t thought about that but was “going with the creative flow” when he was in the moment and having an artistic flair myself, I understood where he was coming from.

Next I’m in the gym. Now I’m pretty certain this is recent, I cannot confirm if Khloe is pregnant but she sure wasn’t working out either.

Out of the Kardashian sisters, she’s the one I genuinely get along with the best. She even calls me by my first name Kristina, opting not to address me by my middle name which Kris and Kim do as I didn’t want to confuse myself into sharing a nickname similar to my new boss (aka Mama KJ). I dunno but I clicked best with Khloe and could honestly imagine that IRL we could be really good pals. She does have one interesting habit: she always has to turn off the lights when not in use.

It’s weird because you think one: these people are ridiculously rich but are stingy with electricity? Two, shouldn’t the Kardashian/Jenner fam invest in motion sensor lights? And Three: according to Khloe, she started getting back into this habit to reduce energy in lieu of Climate Change (of course), and it used to be the one reminder her dad, the late Robert Kardashian Sr  always made her do because, like me, she had a habit of leaving the lights on too.

So basically included on my job description was yep, turn off the lights each time I went out of a room or check if there are unused lights.

So one time I’m in the family gym, and Kim was there. Now out of all the Kardashian/Jenners (don’t tell Khloe ok, ORZ) Kim is my favourite. IRL she’s not tall, prolly around my height, but has a doll-face and is really curvy but small in the areas that matter. TBH Kim leaves me star-struck, very Kween- like: regal, formal, never losing her shit (unlike me the whole freaking dream sequence) but still approachable and likeable.

Out of all the Kardashian/Jenners, Kim is the most like Kris. Like literally Mama’s carbon copy, even in some mannerisms, except Kim is more reserved, polite, but still approachable without being intimidating, which that part is mostly like her Mom.  Though Kim can be intimidating in a different way.  Let’s just say both women have that Alpha air about them.

Kris Jenner is all business and is the the Queen Mom, kinda like my boss so it’s ironic I leave a job only to be hired by someone who resembles a lot of qualities similar to the former boss. But who can deny BIGGER and BETTER PAY?

As for Kim, I really can’t compare her to anyone I’ve ever met, but she’s definitely got an aura of being something extraordinary. Like Celebrity vibes.  That feeling one gets when you’re in the presence of someone who is gonna either change the world or bring it to its knees and end the rest of humanity, XD. 

 Anyway, I’m in the gym and I dunno why but there are icicles on the machines (the elliptical, the treadmill, the bikes)  I don’t feel cold or anything but it I chose to ignore it prolly coz I was astonished that there were icicles on the machines and yet no one bothers to turn off the AC and plus hello, I’m watching Kimye work out a sweat or rather, breathing cold air like some friggin’ Elsa with her long platinum hair which makes me miss own on bleached Khaleesi mane too.  Kim’s working on the treadmill, she gives me a polite smile and nod, and says hello, addressing me by my middle name (it’s shocking because I’ve barely been in this house or at this job for long, and already Kim knows me by name and face.  It’s like an amazing talent she and Kris have, they remember faces and names of people they’ve just met, whether you’re a Royalty or a servant, they’ll remember.  They’re like natural politicians!).  

Khloe asks me if I could turn off the lights, which was the gym, I dim it a bit, with Kim’s permission, of course.  She doesn’t mind, she’s in her own zone.  Breathing out cold air probably from those iced exercise machines I dunno (I believe I found new material for my writing blogs that I was hired for too).  

I move on to another side of the gym, which is a lounge area.  I see in the corner of my eye Kourtney having a informal business meeting with a blonde long-haired Japanese business dude who gives me Steve Aoki vibes, a translator (who is my friend Aira), and a bunch of other peeps lounging on sofas.  I yell over to Khloe and tell her that someone’s in the lounge room and she goes over to me and says “Oh yeah, leave the lights on.” Laughs off and walks away.

I’m not close with Kourt tho.  I don’t think we have bad vibes or anything, actually we’re the same age, it’s just Kourt and I never had a chance to bond because her top priority are her kids and we just never had time to chitchat, but I think she’s just as nice as the rest of the family, probably even more casual than Kim, but less chummy as Khloe.  She did mention once that I’m a natural with kids even though I never baby sat any of the Kardashian kids, but they’re really sweet and they seem to like me well enough.  

I’ve interacted with Mason, Reign, and Penny; they’re the sweetest kids, Reign and Penny always greet me with hugs, they’re super friendly.  Mason’s already a big boy, so hugs are not in order and he’s usually somewhere off doing his own thing or hanging out with Scott aka The Lord (who doesn’t seem like the douchebag he’s normally portrayed as in the show).  I’ve met North and Saint briefly as Kim was in a hurry, North’s a bit shy, she’s got the cutest smile tho. I just don’t think North warms up to people as easily as compared to Kourtney’s kids do tho.  Saint is adorable, as expected, but it’s too early to tell how he’s gonna be when he’s older, but he’s so darn cute. Saint reminds me of this kid of a friend of mine who was just about the cutest darnest little kid whom I preferred to babysit over his naughty older brother, Andrei, hahaha!

And as for the Kardashian-Jenner girls.  Well, all I can say is Kendall is by far the tallest and prettiest sister and has got the most amazing legs, but she’s moody as f tho.  Like let’s say she’d walk in a room I was in, she’d ignore me (unless I’d be the first one to greet her, then she’d respond with a bored hi or mumble something close to it) then Ken would do her own thing like sit on a corner of a table or lounge on a couch and interact with her sisters but mostly looks bored as if she’d rather be somewhere else more interesting than at home, which is kinda disappointing since I’m a huge fan of hers, but I get her deal.  She grew up into the whole limelight and unlike her older sisters, she never wanted any of it and if you asked her, she’d probably wish she was living a rather normal life. Plus the bad bitterness she has as a model and having to prove to everyone she’s a supermodel because people hate on her for the nepotism even though she really does work hard.  Basically Kendall is the Kuudere of the Kardashian/Jenner girls.  So I get her deal. But compared to Kun-Kuun Kenny, Kylie is more like the typical teen/Generation Z/late Millenial: Always on her phone, not really in tune with anything going on about in the house.  I like Jordyn Woods tho, she’s really friendly and warm that you don’t get an air vibe out of her, like she’s genuinely a nice girl that you’re glad she’s there for Kylie.  Maybe that’s the reason why Kylie’s got a lot more mellow than her older sister Kendall, since Kendall doesn’t have that sort of friendship from what I’ve seen based on that whole dynamic I’ve gathered in that 90 minute dream.

Oh, and as for Kylie being pregnant? Let’s just say, I can’t say :P

Lol.  If I had to make Dere-s out of them

Tsundere Type A: Kourtney

Himedere: Kim

Formerly Kamidere/ but now mostly Dandere: Kanye

Yandere: Khloe

Deredere but really Mayadere: Rob

Kuudere: Kendall

Undere/Ultimate Shota: Kylie

Sadodere: Kris Jenner (for sure!! Lol)

That dream was so awesome!!  Too bad I had to get up after dozing off when the alarm reminded me that I had to leave the house early because I had an exam. I woke up feeling shitty because I didn’t get enough rest and as I took a cold shower, it suddenly hit me that I had dreamed about this during that 90 minute accidental snooze and I found myself having to write it down, and added more of my personal in-depth thoughts because tho it was such a vivid dream that happened so fast, I’m amazed by how much insight I actually got based from those details that I decided to write it all down and post it on tumblr/twitter with hopes that I do wonder if any of this shit was accurate. 

 Hit me up to tell me what your thoughts are.  

I’m out!

[houseofkooks]

WINGS IN NEWARK <3

OK SO TODAY WAS THE BTS CONCERT YES TODAY WAS D DAY THIS WAS IT THIS WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY FUCKIGN LIFE AND OMG OMOGMOGMOMG I HAVE SO MANY FUKING FEELS RIGHT NOW I MUST WRITE OK SO 

first of all the pre-concert period was a shitshow ok bt SO WORTH IT FASTFORWARD OK SO

ok when we first sat down it was just like so overwhelming and beautiful to see so many people who love bts sitting together in the same space

spring day mv was playing and everyone was singing along and it was so beautiful

and then the intro started to play and it was just the boys and honestly i don’t really remember what it’s about now i just know i teared up rly bad because i was sosososoososso EMO. like thankful i think? to be able to stand there and to be able to actually see the boys up close

lke i was just so overwhelmed fjljalgkjLKJDFKA and then they came out like they actually appeared behind the screen and then omg all hell broke loose like ya girl and everyone else did not understand the meaning of chill and self control ok. NOT TODAY was first and it was so fucking lit and my first impression was that omg. THEY WERE! CLOSE!!!!!!!

SO CLOSE I COULD SEE JUNGKOOK’S THIGH MUSCLES AND I WAS LIKE OMGOGOGOGOGMOG like i felt bad for always keepign my eyes of jungkook but i just can’t NOT. pretty sure i screamed JUNGKOOOOK JUNGKOOKIEEEEEE like 5293509159 times today

but then it’s good because they also did solo songs that allowed me to really appreciate each member!!!!!!!

begin was first and lemme tell u ya girl almost lost it like legit screamed my fucking throat out “JUNGKOOK!!!!!! JUNGKOOOOOOOK MY BABYYYYY MY BAAAAABY” and he’s just so good like he was SOOO GOOD like his dancing was amazing and likeit started with him spinning on the circle and im so glad i got to watch it live because you could really feel the emotion in his voice like this song is emotional and about how he loves his hyungs so much but in the fancams, you could really just see how good the dancing is. BUT LIVE!!!!! HE IS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL SINGER I LOVE HIM SO MUCH and he did the dance so well and he’s just so perfect and beautiful and wonderful in every way

lie was next and omgOMGOMGO ok jimin killed it like he really really did. like it was just so amazing the dancing the singing. lik the dance is just good already but it was so good with the whole stage and the whole choreo and also THE BLINDFOLD!!!!!!! HE PUT ON THE BLINDFOLD like thats jst such good art directing? choreo? idk it’s just like IMPACT ok it was so great

i dont rly remember who’s next

i think they did group songs and then it was yoongi’s?

the yoongi solo was soo. EMOTIONAL. I SWEAR OMG I LOVE THE ORCHESTRA AND THE FACT THAT HE WAS SITTING IN FRONT OF A PIANO SINGING HIS LOVE FOR PIANO AND MUSIC AND THE WHOLE PERFORMANCE. FDJSAKGJ;LAKJGLKAJ ; like honestly it’s oen of my favorite songs from the album because it’s so well written and he does it sosososososo well like the emotion is so palpable and raw even in the track, especially the last verse. so it was so good to just hear it live and it was just that much more stunning and impactful and just SUCH AN EXPERIENCE. i love the song so much

ok and then namjoon was next and his intro really fucked me up because it took me a lil bit to realize but it’s their “road” song with the heya heya and it’s mixed with whalien 52 for a little bit and idk why but it made me so emo. like the road song is about their hard journey and how they’ll work their hardest to try to reach the end of the road and i lovelovelove how namjoon used that in his intro because i think it’s so beautiful and sobering to know that the song means a lot to him? because thinking about it, he probably was under so much pressure not only for his own success but also for his teammates and it must’ve been hard on him as a young boy who’s really just been the “smart guy” who decided to follow his dream but then ended up having to be responsible for a whole group of boys who are like family to him, and their collective success. and i love that he included whalien 52 because he wrote it and it’s still to this date one of my favorite songs because it’s so cute but sad and real at the same time, which is kinda like namjoon’s embodiment? the song fits him so well like it’s just how he’s like the lonely whale that people don’t seem to understand because he’s on his own wavelength. i’ve always felt this vibe that ofc bangtan are all close but namjoon’s thoughts are so deep and abstract and mature sometimes that the rest of the boys don’t relate very well? like lol especially the maknae line BUT OK ANYWAY I DIGRESS. i really appreciated namjoon’s song because it was like a nice chill break which is what it was like in the album too. BUT MY FAVE PART OFC IS WHEN AT THE END HE KEEPS REPEATING “I WISH I COULD LOVE MYSELF” AND EVERYONE REPEATED TO HIM, “WE LOVE YOU” omg i’m getting emo just typign this out i really really wanna see how he reacted when he first heard it. omg ok anyway the end IT WS GREAT

taetae was next and omg his high notes were literally like wowowowowowoww like wow i’m so proud of him but TBH i couldn’t really hear bc the screams were unreal during his high notes BUT STILL HIS STAGE PRESENCE WAS GR8 and like idk it was just so good and he was so passionate and im so proud of him for all those high notes and also CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT HOW. CUTE. HE IS. LIKE HE’S LITERALLY SOSOSOSOSOS HANDSOME LIKE HE’S SO BEAUTIFUL. ALSO HE KEPT COMING OVER TO OUR SIDE AND SMILING AT US AND I’M NOT SURE WHETHER HE SAW US BUT IT ALMOST LOOKED LIKE WE MADE EYE CONTACT?!?!?!?!?! IDK?!?!?!?!?! BUT OK ANYWAY IT WAS GR8 HE WAS SO GREAT 

OMG im falling asleep ok i’ll quickly write the rest

BUT OMG OK HOBI’S WAS SO GOOD. LITERALLY. MAMA WAS EASILY THE BEST PERFORMANCE OUT OF ALL THE SOLOS AND I’M NOT EVEN A HOBI STAN LIKE OMG?!?!?!!! it was just so energetic and upbeat and exciting at first but then there’s all these pictures of hobi from when he was little and they were the cuuuutest. but also!! then there’s this part where he pauses everything and it’s just him sing-rapping and it was just so EMOTIONAL AND TUGGED AT MY HEARTSTRINGS AND JUST SO POWERFUL AND MEANINGFUL like you could really tell he was singing with his whole heart for his mom and it was just the best THE BEST LEMME TELL U ok moving on im fallin asleep

JIN yes ok it was just good bc his song is good and i don’t really remember but i made sure to scream loud yes good ok moving on WAI TIT’S SO SHORT UGHHGHGHGH ok anyway not the point

THE POINT IS!!!!!!!!!

namjoon is the best i love him so much like during the ment he was talking aobut the rainbow army and then he said that he thinks music transcends anything like language and race and he said “i don’t care if you’re red or blue or orange (referring to the balloon colors” and i thought that was so clever because it was like a metaphor for real life races and i think it’s so fitting given the current political climate in the us and i’m so proud of him for bringing this up!!!!!! also the part where everyone sang together and they all thanked us and i was just like TTTTTTTTT bc I REALLY WANT TO THANK THEM because namjoon was like, as long as we love each other, you’ll never walk alone and YOU KNOW WHAT. IT’S TRUE. IT’S SOSOSOSOSO TRUE. at one of the concert i just looked at them and got emo because no matter what happens in life next, no matter how sad or angry or frustrated or disappointed or tired i get, they’ll always be there to cheer me up. i’m so happy that i foudn them and that i love them so much because it’s so nice to have them with me :) they always make me laugh and i respect them so much. what i confirmed today is that they really are so sososos hardworking and sososos talented and definitely deserving of all the love they receive. i’m so proud of where they are now. I REALLY AM. during 2,3 there was a video of just their growth from the beginning and it made me SO EMO OK. like i haven’t been a fan since the beginning and i wish i have but the fact that they made it from being a literal NUGU to being so so big that they filled up prudential center. they’re SO GOOD LIVE. aside from talent, they’ve also improved so much and that just shows how hard they work. i’m so appreciative of their hard work and the fact that they were able to make it this big because of their hardwork and talent. they really are an amazing group of individuals!!!!!! like such a wonderful group of boys that are incredibly talented but also have such big kind hearts and are so funny and entertaining but also relatable and down to earth and friendly and inspirational. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FJDKLAJG;KJ!!!!!!!! so yes the whole time i was just marveling at the fact that they’re thanking us when I WANT TO THANK THEM SO MUCH. i know it sounds stupid but they really do encourage me and make life better for me fjsklajg I LOVE THEM. 

ok quick ranking after the show

1. jungkook bc how can i ever leave him i am already committed for life like i wanted him to f me in the closet after the concert ok. like i just love him so much there’s no contest 

2. namjoon still because he’s literally PERFECT so talented so deep so beautiful so smart so inspirational like he’d be the perfect boyfriend to talk to my worries with and he’s also really cute and funny and dorky and he just makes me laugh MY BABS

2.5. NOW --> hoseok HIS STAGE PRESENCE IS LITERALY NO. JOKE. he was sososos good during boy meets evil also and like he just COMMANDS THE STAGE and he enjoys it so much and i love him he’s so happy and so easily excitable and also such a sweetheart like there are videos of him picking up pokemon plushies on the stage and then he also noticed jre and pointed at him like he’s SO DOWN TO EARTH AND FRIENDLY AND RELATABLE AND JUST SUCH A CUTIE i luv him

3. FOR NOW --> JIMIN wow wat a surprise but he’s LITERALLY SO CUTE LIKE OK HE LITERALLY WALKED IN FRNT OF US?!??!! LIKE HE WAS SO CLOSE I COULD ALMOST TOUCH HIM!?!? AND HE WAS JUST SO CUTE!!! LIKE SO. CUTE. i’ve been reading posts about how he looks scary and intimidating like cold city man in “real life” BUT HE’S SO CUTE. HE’S SO CUDDLY AND SMILEY AND JUST SO CUTE LIKE HE RADIATES SOFTNESS nd he was so close to us and he waved at us and he’s so nice i luv him also ALSO his dancing is seriously so good like every time someone’s dance move catches my eye i’m like ooh who’s that and it would turn out to be jimin LIKE WOW FDJALKGJ; he really is so good at dancing

3.2. FOR NOW --> TAETAE!!!!!! HE’S SO CUTE HE’S SO CUTE HE LOOKED OVER TO US SO MANY TIMES TODAY AND HE’S JUST LITERAL FANSERVICE KING LIKE I DON’T REALLY WATCH HIS FANCAMS BUT HE’S LITERALLY always ALWAYS interacting with the audience and he’s so cute and he keeps winking or giving out hearts or just watching the audience and it’s just soft and nice and beautiful and it makes me feel important and loved and i love LOVE KTH HE’S SUCH A SOFT SMOL BALL like i love how he really does make an effort to make the fans feel loved and important <3 3 <3

4. yoongi!!!!!!!! yoongi is always good his performance is always ON FIYAHHHHHHH but i didn’t really get the chance to watch him closely LOLOL but i love him as always

5. mama jin my dearest oppa he’s so cute and has the cutest personality and is so funny so he really shines through in vlive or bombs or whatever and i always love him always but i think he gets shadowed over during concerts :(( bc he doesn’t have a lotta parts? and he doesn’t really have like the best stage presence (lolol i find it kinda funny that he frowns so much when he sings fjdkfljalkjg) BUT I REALLY DO LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM A LOT FJDKLAJ;GLK I LOVE ALL OF THEM

conclusion: i love bangtan so much i love every single one of them i am so thankful they are in my life and i can’t wait to continue stanning them forever because WE NEVER WALK ALONE and i can’t wait to see grow bigger and better so i can keep attending more and more concerts fjdksajglk I LOVE BTS BANGTAN SONYEONDAN I LOVE! KIM NAMJOON! KIM SEOKJIN! MIN YOONGI! JUNG HOSEOK! PARK JIMIN! KIM TAEHYUNG! JEON JUNGKOOK! BTS!!!!!!!!!!!!